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Top 10 Reasons JFrater Doesn’t Want To Write Another film List
- Published October 12, 2007 - 91 Comments
I love film lists, but, unfortunately it is impossible to satisfy everyone. So, this is my list of the top 10 reasons JFrater doesn’t want to write another film list. In no particular order:
1. Reason 1
Teenagers think you should include their “current” favorite film – which scored negative numbers on the Internet Movie Database.
2. Reason 2
Old people think you should include their “first” favorite film – which scores well but no one under the age of 60 has heard of.
3. Reason 3
Europeans think you should include 90% non-American films despite the fact that America dominates the film market, and has done since day one
4. Reason 4
Psychopaths think you should include their favorite niche market of snuff or crush films in your list
5. Reason 5
Normal people like your selections but hate the order
6. Reason 6
Film buffs think you should have included that “monumental” film that director x directed in some country you have never heard of, before committing suicide.
7. Reason 7
Christians think you should not include films with x-rated content
8. Reason 8
Atheists think you should not include films with any religious bias
9. Reason 9
Oriental film buffs are disappointed that their favorite director (insert oriental name here) is not included, even though he is not known outside of a North Korean Prison Camp
10. Reason 10
Some random social-networker (read digg, reddit, fark) that has never seen the site before just wants to bitch.
Bonus
You are not even American but everyone gets pissed off at your “American-centric” list.
October 12th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Top 1 reason Hobolad’s sad: Those lists rock
These lists are obviously opinion- it’s sad that some people have to insist their opinions are better
Although Hollywood films mostly do suck
October 12th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Hobolad: hehe – it is posted under humor – I will keep writing the lists because I enjoy it
October 12th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Question: Did you expect anything else?
And I sympathise with number 9. My favourite film director is South Korean and I find myself constantly trying to force others to watch his work.
P.S I highly recommend you check out the films of Kim Ki-duk.
October 12th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
PCU! PCU! PCU!
It is inevitable though that when you post your opinion someone has to insert theirs. I kind of like it personally as it in essence expands the list to more then was originally posted. I have come across a few gems I had not seen this way.
October 12th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
[quote]Hobolad: hehe – it is posted under humor – I will keep writing the lists because I enjoy it
[/quote]
Yay! No need for these cyanide pills then
October 12th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
You know it would be better if you offered people a chance to make thier own list. That way they can put their money where their mouth is….oh wait you do ask people for their own list. Keep the movie lists coming.
Hey nevermind! I saw you failed to put Howard the Duck on your list!!!!! How dare you you insult us with this obvious error of judgement!
October 12th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Hey now dont Knock Howard!
October 12th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Ooo…snark. Ouch. Maybe you should just disable comments on your movie lists if you can’t take the heat. =p (I’m just kidding. The lunacy fringe never fails to make an appearance on any websit.)
October 12th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
hahaha.
i first misread it as “…JFrater doesn’t want to write another list.” i thought NOOOO!!
but i do enjoy your movie lists, some gems uncovered here.
October 12th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Kelsi: its okay – I don’t really mind – it just lent itself to a humor list so I wrote it
October 12th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
I know 10 is directed at me. But I can’t help it, Friday is beer day at work, and if I yell at my boss I’ll get fired.
Schwarzenegger!!!!!
October 12th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
may i suggest you only do movie lists whilst drunk?
LOL
or i dunno can you get arrested for listing under the influence?
or friends don’t let friends list drunk?
or don’t drink and list?
or drink and list ad nausuem?
or is that nausating? and no, i can’t spell. too lazy for spellcheck off site. it is FRIDAY you know.
enjoy your weekend Jaime. have a glass or three for me.
October 12th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Cyn: I think drinking and computering should be legalized dont you?
Also to Jfrater: If you don’t like us just say so.. gawd!
p.s. the picture of the atheist is really jesus.
October 12th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
p.p.s. I am not an atheist or jesus christ.
October 12th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Diogenes ?! Jfrater ?! Do you realize that you have a photo of jesus on your site ?! you’re way cooler then the vatican!
they have only paintings. and diogenes, Jfrater never said he didn’t like the comments, just that movie lists can’t be a top 10 …10 people, 10 diferent opinions, right ?
October 12th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Diogenes…i can’t drink for medical reasons. i miss wine sooo bad. and beer. and Jack Daniels w/ a shot of cola. or is that cola w/ a shot of Jack? er…and i think pot should be legalized. and i would encourage computer activity of any kind while under the influence. cool thing about being sober…i can point and laugh. wish like hell i owned a camera…would take blackmail pics and vids too. LOL i would gladly play ‘designated sober person’ for those of you willing to be online under the influence. and please remove your pants. LOL
and i am an atheist. so he could be as much the Easter Bunny as he could be Jesus as far as i’m concerned. *grins*
October 12th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
This list writing thing is harder than it looks. I’m trying to write a couple for the christmas competition to help out Jamie but i’m struggling. (I’ve got exams in a few weeks so I’m just procrastinating)
October 12th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
To “are you stoned now?” Cyn: Go ahead and point and laugh.
your comment makes me want to go to the grocery store ( or the mall, or the dollar store, or wherever)…. where all this stuff you mention is located and readilly available, right now! I know what it is like to want something you cant or shouldnt have!
Legalize? I think everything that is ill-legale(as I get drunker, my spelling gets worse) should be legal and FREE.
regarding you blackmail “issues”, I was at a new year’s party in a small living room in Ohio, and I didnt know anybody but two people, and I was drunk as a skunk and trying to spark up things, by doing clumsy back spins – break dancin-like moves, on the carpet…and Sombody was taking digital pics of my “out of placeness” I know of these tactics in which one like myself is confronted with the “true” reflection and the images I was unstartled by,,,,but I have to ask….That was YOU taking the picture wasnt it?!?
The thought of the Easter Bunny nailed up on the cross makes me (can I say it?) grin. But what my imagination sees, is jesus in a furry easter bunny suit nailed to a cross. Yeh I know! I’m twisted.
I cant stop with that statement so I have to say that my mind also sees a cute little easter bunny/jesus as a pet and giving a child an understanding of life and beauty and caring and responsibilty.
October 12th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
p.p.p.p.(?) s. Actually, I am an atheist and I also happen to be jesus christ.
hell awaits
October 12th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I really have to disagree with your reasons for writing this list. I think that #6 should have been #1 and #4 should have been #9. I would also like to say, as a teenage senior normal European Oriental American Christian Atheist social networking film buff psychopath , I am offended by your stereotyping…
haha. I love this website!
October 12th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
I had to write something but I am out of words. All I can say is jfrater, u keep the site updated daily so props for that. Plus, I couldn’t agree with u more on this list. You’re simply amazing!
October 12th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
The picture of dude number 4 looks way too much like me. And how dare you not have any Miyazaki films on your Americo-centric lists. You really are a stupid ass, hamburger eatin, Jack Daniels swillin, Nascar watching American aren’t you you bloody british bastard? LOL
October 12th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
jesus in a furry easter bunny suit nailed to a cross
DUDE! you have so ruined easter candy for me now! for shame! no more chocolate bunnies for me…now all i’ll see is jesus. *shudder* ooooh! but wait..creme filled chocolate eggs! CADBURY be thy hallowed name. yes! i am saved. okay. its cool now. had me worried for a sec.
October 12th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
All I can say is wow…the list was hysterical (sp) and the comments were….were…..i forgot what I was saying….Did you see the monkey that ran by?…oh this list was absolutly wonderful. And the comments are extremly entertaining.
October 12th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Shortly after writing this one I fell on the sofa in a stupor from which I have only just recovered. Great comments guys
Just for the record, I do plan to write more film lists 
I might just have to put this post as a disclaimer on all future ones.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:02 am
These top 10 reasons are the reason of your website receiving such high traffic as you said… opinions, ideas, etc. It doesn’t matter if they don’t agree.
Other websites just post lists and no comments for us to express. I thank this site for letting the opinions flow.
Making lists is not an easy task, you know it, and it requires a lot of research, not just going to wikipedia, reading a bunch of articles or viewing another list as an example.
Everyone has its own lists, so keep yours coming jfrater.
greetings from Mexico.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Daniel: I know – this list was just for a bit of humor. I intend to keep on as before
October 13th, 2007 at 4:42 am
now make a list with reasons to make a film list
October 13th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Cyn: Cadburry Eggs ARE God!
October 13th, 2007 at 10:42 am
welcome to the Church of Teh Most Divine Cadbury Egg
wonder if i could get a tax exemption w/ that? hhhmmm..
October 13th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Which makes me curious. Does Scientology get an exemption? If so, I see no reason why The Cadbury Church cant get one.
October 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
exactly! but do think it needs a better name..
The Cadbury Church…kinda vanilla *chuckle*
Church of Teh Most Divine Cadbury Egg ..sounds rather gay. ROFLMAO
so..taking suggestions. also we could move this particular discussion to forums.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
yes to the forums we go!
October 13th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
I don’t get it. Why are the teens so happy, while everyone else looks… not so happy?
And what is a “crush” film?
October 13th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
lol nice list
October 13th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
The Dum Guy: Teens are always happy – especially when they are angry. A Crush film – you can read about that on top 10 bizarre fetishes (item 7 – Crush Fetish).
October 14th, 2007 at 7:17 am
I really liked the choice of pictures, really adds the humor
October 14th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Ozhan: Thanks
October 14th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Listing anything with David Lynch should automatically disqualify the list maker from making any other list. . . .
October 14th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
bucslim: Get thee behind me Satan!
October 14th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Ok, that was a joke in the spirit of the moment. Wheeee!!!!
October 16th, 2007 at 6:31 am
Hey man,
your “top ten directors list” didn’t include fucking Bergman or Tarkovsky… and you are now writting this “ten reasons why not to write a film list”… well let me tell you reason #11: BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT COMPETENT… I am from that country you don’t know the name of (Macedonia)and not only that I write and speak English, I also know more about the top ten directors you so opinionatedly wrote about and even more about your favorite – David Lynch… asshole
October 16th, 2007 at 6:39 am
dimitar…you are totally off base, dude. if you were paying attention you’d know this is his site to do w/ as he wishes. there is ample information here about contributing your own list. there is no need for that kind of inflammatory comment. for shame! play nice or go find somewhere else to engage in those kind of immature tactics. this is where adults gather for civil exchanges of opinions…differing or not. seriously…grow up!
October 17th, 2007 at 4:33 am
Dear Cyn…
You are right, I did react a bit immature and I do feel bad about it. So I apologize to you and to whoever else I might have insulted. I generally enjoy the site and I visit it once a week or more to see if a new list has been posted. My feelings were hurt when I saw this list since I feel very strongly about “my movies” and “my directors” and the very rich cultures of all those “countries ” “people???” don’t know the names of (that’s a bit ignorant to even think)… Anyway, I am sorry – as I’ve said but I don’t think I’ll visit this site again since its “where adults gather for civil exchanges of opinions” which (in my adolescent opinion) are immature in their own way. Only an (idiot – adult) who gathers for civil exchange of opinion can ask a kid as myself to go and play somewhere else since he doesn’t like my opinion… Goodbye… (don’t feel insulted now – I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings – it’s just an opinion.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:11 am
Sadly, such comments (the ones from Cyn) should be expected if you try to flame someone over the Internet.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:23 am
dimitar: do you think that my feelings might be hurt because I feel very strongly about my movies and directors? We are both equal in our rights to like what we want and to discuss them with others. Maturity, regardless of age, is allowing me the right to select my lists without abusing me
Let us put this little discussion behind us and move on with the latest lists!
October 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
lol easily your best list ever jfrater. Or at the very least the funniest.
October 17th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
mistere: thanks
I must confess I quite liked it myself!
October 19th, 2007 at 7:35 am
Nice, but #9 should have read something like this: “Asian film buffs will be angry because you listed the American remake of an obscure Asian movie instead of the original, and then they’ll tell you why you’re an idiot.”
On a completely unrelated note, is anyone else aching to sucker-punch the next IMDB’er who tells them that “Infernal Affairs” was much better than “The Departed”?
October 19th, 2007 at 7:39 am
“Infernal Affairs” was much better than “The Departed”.
Ah I’m just joking.
Ow that hurt.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Peter: luckily I would be very unlikely to include those American remakes – which can be entertaining, but almost never have the film “greatness” that the Oriental originals almost always have.
Che: hehe another trouble maker on the site I see!
October 19th, 2007 at 9:59 am
I know this is just a joke thingy and I shouldn’t get upset and I’m just proving your point(s), BUT
(1)America didn’t dominate the worldwide film market until the mid-teens, 20 years after film was invented.
(2)Generally speaking, America’s domination of the world market is WHY any list should be mostly foreign. When you make a list of the greatest bands ever, do you judge by albums sold? American movies are made to appeal to and not offend everybody – not just in content but in form as well. Most of the real advances in how a story is told through film have been made outside the US, with the US later incorporating these values in a far less interesting way (let’s talk about the cinema verite-inspired shakycam that Paul Greengrass, etc like so much these days).
And I’m American (oddly, Paul Greengrass is not). Don’t get me wrong, I love me some American movies, but the Europeans are right: their movies are better than ours.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:00 am
pat: on point 1 sure – can you name 10 world class films that are still love and known by millions today created before the American dominance started? On point 2: my lists are a reflection of the environment – not a politically correct stand. If there are more American lists that suit the topic, I will put more American lists on it
Having said that, I do try to make sure I take other nations films in to consideration. Oh – and inventing something doesn’t mean you are the best at it – someone else can come along and produce something far greater than the inventor. (I am sure you probably realise all of these things). Anyway – enjoy the lists and comment when you think I err – it is part of what makes the site great – people would die of boredom if everyone agreed with me (except me) 
October 21st, 2007 at 8:11 am
The end-all, be-all, only reason to Never Write A Film List:
Absolutely nobody gives the slightest damn about the pissant numerical opinions of some egotistical hack reviewer who’s probably seen a handful of movies before 1985, and isn’t even good enough for publication whereby they stick their lists on the internet.
October 21st, 2007 at 8:19 am
*smacks Cody upside the head w/ a dead fish*
if you’re gonna slam someone least have the courage to do so as a registered member.
geesh…..
October 21st, 2007 at 8:27 am
Cody: publication and online publication are entirely different things – I like writing online articles – so I don’t feel inferior for having not been published. I am guessing you fall in to category 2 or 9 huh? Or maybe Bonus 2, the jealous type
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
I don’t see how anyone can disagree with this list. It hits the nail right on the head! Top __________ Movie lists are the most pointless posts I’ve ever seen, and no one likes to read the comments of bitchy idiots.
In that case, why are we even on the internet? *sigh* Irony.
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:05 pm
lol this list is funny…that atheist guy one made me laugh though… I kinda think he looks like jesus but hes wearing that shirt
December 5th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
Lol. I’d like to think I do none of those things, but I’m not to sure! Haha.
January 8th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
This is my least favourite list so far on Listverse (fair enough, it’s satirical) – maybe it’s too brief, or maybe the joke just went over my head.
And JT, Kim Ki-Duk is my favourite director too!
January 18th, 2008 at 8:45 am
@Stereo Mike:
Yeah I think the joke went over your head…
February 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
just make one and see what happens, most of the people here love these lists who cares some has problems with ‘em
February 4th, 2008 at 4:32 am
Nice!
February 13th, 2008 at 11:16 am
I agree with number 7 and 8, there should be a list of the top 10, 15, or 20 porn movies, and a list of top porn stars, male and female, and best porn scene, be it lesbian, 3 some, anal, double penetration, s&m, asian, etc. There could be a whole subcategory of porn lists. Way to go christians and athiests working together like cats and dogs to suggest porn lists. Jfrater should sit naked in a room wearing a mask with a vagina flashlight previewing the best porn for us all and then making lists. Rock on.
March 4th, 2008 at 3:29 am
I like the list, not the order.
March 28th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
So you’re telling me, narrowing a list of millions of movies into just 10 means some will be left out?
Little known fact, both Star Wars and the Godfather were remakes of independant North Korean prison camp films.
June 27th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I console myself when bitching about obscure films with even more obscure directors occurs with the knowledge that either a)the complainers have likely never seen the films and are doing the ‘name drop’, or b)said complainers are so desperate to give off an aura of intellect that they’ll sit through shitty movies.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I thought ths list was great. It completely sums up what happens on Movie Lists. To a T!
I haven’t seen very many movies by Asian directors, but I liked “Audition” By Takashi Miike. Creepy.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Hahaha. This was great.
Bravo.
September 7th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Dear JFrater,
ahhhhgh! You didn’t include “Robinson Crusoe on Mars!”
Sorry, just kidding. Was LOL all the way through that.
Just one minor point on 7: a number of serious Christians, particularly Catholics, defend Abel Fererre’s (sp?) “Bad Leiutenant” as a moving story of redemption.
October 9th, 2008 at 10:44 am
why you did this? i dont get it..
October 12th, 2008 at 12:35 am
Haha, I really appreciated the one about Europeans. I especially hate when Europeans judge us Americans for not seeing some European movie that was just *amazing*. It’s not because we’re uncultured; it’s because the studio that made that movie is too broke to distribute it over here!
I have to say, though, based on jfrater’s list of Top 10 fave movies, that he probably fits into the Indie Douchebag category.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Tammy, You have a lovely site with so many wonderful accolades.,
December 8th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Asians are asians. Not orientals. That is an old fashioned term that many take offense to.
December 8th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Fred lester creeped me out..
December 8th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Hayley: I don’t agree – in the UK, Asians are people from the Middle East. In New Zealand Asians are people from China, etc. Therefore, it makes sense to use the two terms to be clear. Also, I can assure you that I mean to infer nothing negative by the term – it merely refers to people who come from the region of the Orient. In fact, the term to me conjures up wonderful exotic images – nothing negative. Here is what Wikipedia says:
(UK), (British Africa), A person who originates from the Indian subcontinent, sometimes including East and Southeast Asia.
(US), (Australia), (Canada), A person who originates from the Indian subcontinent, East and Southeast Asia, sometimes excluding the Indian Subcontinent.
Confusing huh? It is far easier to use the term “Asia” to refer to the Indian subcontinent and the Orient to refer to East and Southeast Asia.
December 8th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Corey: it is not nice to call me a douchebag when you don’t even know me. I do like independent films – but I also like mainstream films (as you would know if you had read some of my film lists here).
January 12th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
india dominates the film industry. we are in second.
January 26th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
i could be wrong but india may dominate only due to a larger population/audience… whereas american films dominate globally. However, India is slowly catching up.
Oh and i completely sympathise with that list. It is absolutely impossible to make one without more than half the people disagreeing with you.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:32 am
it’s funny. coz people are STILL arguing about which order the reasons should go… and STILL pointing out little flaws.
let the man say what he wants to say!
February 24th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
NOT all teenagers, i hate fucking new movies…
March 29th, 2009 at 12:18 am
wow it seems that I will fall to reason # 10..sorry JF..sometimes it’s so much fun to fool around!
April 4th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I am a teenager to and im right with you on this. ( and apalled at the bad taste of most people in my age/sex group.) You really only gotta see the average ratings for brilliant and classic movie on imdb by female voters under 18 to see why.
jFrater, your pictures just made my day. BTW I’m love, love, love your film lists, so please keep it up! And we’ll try to keep the complaning to a minemum.
May 3rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
I thought that list was really funny, in particular the pictures. They skewered everyone evenly. But I’m gonna have to say I think the comments on European and Asian movies do show a little bit of a blind side to your lists.
Agreed, Hollywood’s been big commercially since the 1910s, but it also was innovative artistically and technically. You can’t deny the importance. The problem is, it was only one of three up to the 50s. E. Asian and European cinema developed their own styles too that later (after they noticed) influenced Hollywood. It’s bad history to dismiss that.
Take the list on long takes. It’s evenly balanced between Europe and US. But Mizoguchi Kenji was doing highly mobile 10 and 12 minute takes in the 1930s. He was introduced to Europe in 1953 at the Venice film festival (Film is “Ugetsu”, easy to get). All except Hitchcock are after that, and that’s where Europe started with it. That’s just film history. There’s no reason not to want to go check it out.
So, call me a #9.
That said, I love the eccentricity of these lists. I’ve found a lot of new movies to check out. Thanks.
May 14th, 2009 at 1:24 am
Can I still vote for fight club?
May 14th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Did you seriously use the word “Oriental”?????? Rugs only, JFrater, rugs only.
May 14th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Oh! I don’t know how I missed this one! I think it should have been named “Top 10 Reasons JFrater Should Write Another film List”
May 27th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
This is absolutely hilarious. And true.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Haha I completely understand that you wouldn’t want to make another film list because there really no possible way to please everyone. And personally, being a teenager, I am glad that lists don’t include more recent movies. Movies have really gone downhill in my opinion as far as acting and plots go, with a few exceptions. I still will always prefer the classics.
November 17th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I’m a huge movie buff who searches for the “entertainment” value where the artistic portion is lacking. The only movies I’ll really shake my head at are those aimed at blaspheming God or trying to rob Christ of His divinity (i.e. Davinci Code, Last Temptation of Jesus Christ, etc.) Other than that I watch pretty much anything from my son’s cartoons to my gf’s crappy musicals, and most everything in between and beyond
. Keep the lists coming, especially about the movies!