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So – the inevitable has happened – zombies have attacked the world. You need to know how to survive and this is the list you need – the top 7 zombie survival tips.
1. Pull your shit together!
If it’s a zombie infestation, the cops, firemen, and ambulance men will all be rather busy, or dead. When the first zombies are seen, the police will take them to hospitals. Do not lock yourself in your apartment and wait for the police to save you. Do not cooperate with the authorities. They know nothing about zombies, as they believe that zombies are a myth.
2. Get armed
You do not want to face zombies and be unarmed, even if they are not so smart or quick or powerful, they will be too dangerous to fight bare handed. Firearms are good, but you should also have some side weapons you can use if you run out of bullets, or if they get too close. Anything’s good: knives, swords, axes or even poleaxes if you know how to use one properly. Blunt weapons are also good, but you must wear protection goggles and a mask, or something to protect your face from the splash.
3. Get armored
You must try to protect your body as much as you can, especially the neck, arms and legs. These are the most exposed parts to bite. You can find lots of body armor from army surplus shops, or even martial arts and hunting shops. Jeans also offer good protection from bites.
4. Leave town
If the zombie infestation caught you in a big town, you must leave immediately. It’s one thing to face 10 zombies, but another thing to face 10000 zombies. Best thing is to go to the country. Farms are quite easy to defend, and the open spaces won’t let you get caught by surprise.
5. Gather supplies
Gather as many supplies as you can. Everything from bottled water to gas – you will need it. And it won’t be hard to do it…if everyone’s dead it won’t be stealing! Best thing is to get a truck and start looting the largest stores in the area. Don’t go into big towns, and don’t start looting until you are 100% sure there won’t be a zombie attack, let alone a big one! You don’t want the authorities to stop the attack, nor do you want to end up in jail for looting.
6. Barricade
Some barbed wire and a whole bunch of gas filled bottles can do wonders when defending your resort from a zombie attack. Also, alarms are a very good idea. You can make them yourself (some cans and pots on a wire) or get a real one, motion sensors and everything (see number 5 for looting tips – Gas and Generator required).
7. Search for survivors
After you have enough supplies, and your home and the surroundings are safe, you should start searching for survivors. Even if you are the only one of your group still alive, you’ll end up going mad if you remain alone. Start with the small towns around you. It will be quite easy if you have a zombie proof car. Just go to the town limits and honk. If zombies are there, they will head in your direction and you can just leave; alternatively you will recognize the survivors and can form a group. Safety in numbers!
Contributor: Yaurt
October 26th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I always thought learning to drive stick would be helpful in case the only working car you could find was a manual. That’s pretty much the only reason I learned.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Nice list. Anyone interested in further increasing you chances for survival in case of a zombie outbreak should read “The Zombie Survival Guide” It’s hilariously brilliant.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Iteresting list. Just one question… #7 you said honk your car horn,if there are zombies they will head in your direction…
Now if there were a zombie attack and someone honked a horn, that would mean someone with an intellegence would be near aka not a zombie. I would head towards the car as it would be a means to save myself.
Oki it wasn’t much of a question but more of a state of confussion…
October 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Why does no one suggest keeping a dog? My dogs are better than any burglar alarm, and there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t warn you about zombies!
October 26th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Anthony: It seems this list has been taken straight from there
Apologies if it hasn’t Yaurt!
October 26th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
lol 8. run faster then the other ppl in ur party.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Oops – forgot to add the contributor – I didn’t write the list so I don’t know the source aside from the contributor
October 26th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
crazy list! zombies exist only in the movies
October 26th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Neo said it best: “Guns, lots of guns!”
October 26th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
my wife and i had a discussion after watching 28 weeks later, where would we go in town to try and outlast the invasion?
we determined that the best place in town that has supplies, ammo and controllable entrances is wal-mart supercenter. they even have beds, toilets, more supplies than we could use in probably a year. we could get up to the roof to shoot down, like in dawn of the dead. we could even hook up an x-box to keep us entertained.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
#4 could be either good or worse. The original Night of the Living Dead happened in a farmhouse and everyone there got croaked.
Also, #7, Search for survivors: No good. In all the movies it’s the in-fighting between the survivors that ends up causing all the problems and getting everyone eaten. Fuck’em. Hold on to your woman or find a hot chick that can shoot and run, and piss on everyone else- If they are so craptastically awesome, why are they just waiting around for your happy ass to come save them?
October 26th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
yeah, zombies…just thinking, why aren’t there ever any lists about how to be a SUCCESSFUL zombie? Is there a zombie equivalent to the Evil Overlord list? Because if there isn’t, there should be.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Sooo much wrong here, or at least flawed. Mainly that you should rely on guns as weapons. Your first weapon is your own body; being fast and fit will help with survival more then anything else. Second weapon should be a strong melee weapon, think like in Shaun of the Dead; although I prefer a crowbar because it has other functions. Third weapon should be a silenced simple rifle, like a .22 or preferably an AK-47. Forth weapon should be a silenced pistol. Also, using fire in order to survive is a bad idea 95% of the time. Fire has no allegiance to you just because you created it; in other words you burn too. Also, gathering supplies is something that you should do while “getting your shit together.” It’s a lot easier to navigate a city when it’s not full of zombies. Also body armor is heavy and often not flexible.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Ok. so, all I have read is the titles, and I havent read the comments and I am aware of the book by the similar title that has been submitted here above , but , my answer right now…is … “Become a Zombie.” Yes thats right, I dont mean acting like one, but just go on ahead and let one of them flesh munching/ brain eating- Somnambulistic Infestations- take a chunk out of yah and go on your merry way. It cant be all that different than what the majority has already accepted from the moment in time when their dreams were broken, left out on a plate-in front of the home (disconnected from the original couple)-a welcome mat for the horror maw of humanity’s complacent weeknesses……naw, I meant to say-nice one. get us in the mood..I saw a Hillary Clinton rubber mask among the rest of the halloween “trophies” hanging high in the Party store. I wondered. yeh.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Ravyn: if there are zombies that means that are NO survivors!
Richard: Dogs are a great defence, but we don’t know if they would be afected by the virus…you don’t want your 3 dobermans to get zombie on you, don’t you ?
dangorironhide: i’ve read the book, but i do not aprove it!
kunleski: i’ll see you mailing me when it’s goin’ down
DiscHuker: glass walls ?!
Yarr: #4 …if you are prepared, read this thing, when the thing happens, you won’t do those mistakes. ANd hot zombie killin’ chicks are not so easy to find…around here anyway…
October 26th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
I’m so printing this out and taping it to my wall. You know, just in case. You can never be too prepared…
Good list.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
great list good advice #8 should be WAIT it out we are talking dead people walking around bloodthirsty dead people but dead people none the less ,,once you have your safe place just wait (1 to 2 months ) the zombies will rot away,, P.S. a horde of rampaging zombies is my worst fear i dont care how impossibly unlikely it is
October 26th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
yaurt: Well if there is no survivors then why would anyone need a list of how to protect yourself from zombies. And why would you drive a car into the mid of zombies and honk a horn to find survivors just to draw all the attention to yourself. Better yet…why would you even need to drive a car. If there are no survivors that means you wouldn’t have survive either. Driving a car just seems pointless.
October 27th, 2007 at 1:54 am
You honk because in your car you can outrun them. And btw, get as many big cars as you can, SUV’s , trucks, no small, tiny, pretty convertible cars.
October 27th, 2007 at 2:32 am
and jfrater, why is this list in the humour section ?!
October 27th, 2007 at 6:54 am
I agree with all but 7, once I form a group I can trust, I’d be extremely hesitant about allowing strangers into it, they could be insane, annoying, or Scientologists (see insane).
October 27th, 2007 at 8:24 am
Dont find survivors, it leads to arguments, anyony seen 28 days later?
Stay on your own, or with real close family + friends.
I would head straight to sainsburys, buy months supply of food on a credit card, fill my house full of food, then hide in the attic with my family, only going down to get food.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:41 am
yaurt: You missed my point. If there are no survivors that would mean that you didn’t survive either. If you didn’t survive there would be no point in honking your horn as no on survived. And being as you didn’t survive either, I don’t think you would have the intellegence to purposly honk a horn anyway. If no one survives and you are a zombie, yet again I ask, what is the point of a Zombie Survival list.
October 27th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Ravyn: Who said there will be no survivors ? Cause’ there will be, those who take this list seriously!!!
October 27th, 2007 at 9:15 am
The only survivors will be the few people who thought ahead and built a spaceship in there barn. Therefor flying it to the hidden NASA colony on mars.
October 27th, 2007 at 9:18 am
Ravyn: oh…i said that…
ok, i over reacted 
October 27th, 2007 at 9:21 am
I’m waiting for the part where someone blames the Zombie epidemic on Bush/Cheny/Rove/Hannity/Coulter.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Ciob wtf are you doing here? Still savin` the world? MZ1 best fortress in the worlds. Even has interphone
.
October 27th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Yaurt: Sorry. I just call it how I see it
hmm
October 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Man things are running a bit slow
October 27th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Ziggy, around here i am called “Yaurt, the master of zombie survival”
And an apartament building is the worst ideea ever!
October 27th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Yaurt, if you were truly the “master” of zombie survival guide you would know that a bicycle is the best form of transportation during a zombie attack. Cars are incredibly loud, can only go on roads, and will eventually run out of gas. Not to mention everyone else will be getting in their cars to try and escape so the roads will be clogged. A bike is relatively silent, never runs out of gas, and can go where a car couldn’t even fit. Many of your suggestions are very good, but you need to read “The Zombie Survival Guide” and “World War Z” both by Max Brooks.
October 27th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Yaurt:
Sorry there’s no hot chicks in your town. That sucks a lot. But in case of zombies, I’m still going to load up my babe and my doberman and a shitload of ammo and food and head for the hills while giving the rest of the world the finger. If other survivors somehow make it to my hideout, they can come in and hang out and drink a tall glass of shut the fuck up about “What are we going to do next?” There is no next. We survive. We chill. We shoot zombies and play scrabble. If you don’t like it, go find your own hideout Captain Awesome and get the hell out of mine! And no, you can’t have any Twix, either; I only have a couple left and they’re mine.
October 27th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
David:i really would like to see you rammin’ throu’ 100 rampaging, blood thirsty zombies with your bike!
And about those, i already read “The Zombie Survival Guide” and i so don’t aprove it!
If you have enough gas(see #5) you don’t have to worry about the noise. You can even stop and shoot or throw molotov cocktails at them untill you waste them and then loot or search for survivors.
October 27th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Yarr!!! That’s the shit i’m talkin’ about!
October 27th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Yaurt: I’d really like to see how your car is going to survive 1000 zombies beating on it because you alerted them with the engine running. It doesn’t matter how much gas you have, eventually you’ll run out and then you’re SOL. Also, the more gas you bring, the less room you have for food, ammo, and other supplies. Since Zombies are slow, biking through a small number, 50 max, would be feasible. A car is all well and good, but it should be for long distances with all of your supplies, not for exploring unknown areas or what have you. How exactly does the amount of gas you have relate to noise? A car makes noise if it’s running, and in a situation where there would be few survivors in a big city a running engine is essentially a signal flare to all zombies that can hear it. Finally, this isn’t a movie, molotov cocktails could just as easily set you and your precious car on fire. And what happens when you’re surrounded by zombies, all trying to get you, and you throw out a molotov only to have that burning zombie come crashing into your metal shell.
I would like to know what you disagree with in the Zombie Survival Guide? I thought it was quite logical and clear cut. I suggest you read World War Z also.
Edit: Yarr, thats actually a pretty good plan. A babe and a dog are very good sources of morale, if for different reasons. The one thing everyone seems to forget about zombie invasions is morale, because that’s something you can’t buy, loot, or train.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Okay, as much as I love zombies and this list makes me happy, I don’t think it’s very appropriate to show an actual murder in process as the picture for number seven does.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
cats are also good at alerting you of the presence of zombies, and they require way less food than dogs and can forage well. just stock up on dry food and they’ll fatten up on rats, etc. They’re also better company and WAY less annoying than men. the only thing you need men for is protection, unless you can find enough other women to gang up with.
October 27th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Humans! Stop all the make believe fighting allready! and just become one of us, like I was sayin.
Jeremy: that cant be for real. why would that be? It looks real though. lets wait for Yaurt to reply.
mishelse: Are you from the “Island of Women and Cats”?
October 28th, 2007 at 12:40 am
Jeremy & Diogenes: I found it on google, searched “zombie”
read tip #4
David: Dude! you got like 10 tons of gas at home, you don’t move around with all your food and gas and eveything! And when in a car, if you had read tip #1 you wouldn’t stay and cry in the front seat when 1000 zombies are smashing the car (and btw, you with your magical bike could handle them ?), in the first place you are not supposed to be in the middle of 1000 zombies!
October 28th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Yaurt: Wait I’m confused, where is this 10 tons of gas I have and why wouldn’t I want to take all my supplies with me during an invasion? Simply put, a car is perfect, even preferred, for that initial escape from town or post-invasion supply gathering expedition. I can’t argue that a bike could carry all of my supplies, much less those of a whole crew. A bike is better for quick in-and-out missions you might need to do. The biggest advantage a bike has is it’s ease of use. Everyone knows how to ride a bike and they’re a whole lot easier to fix than a car.
While I could go on, I won’t. I can agree that a car is a necessity, but it shouldn’t be a crutch. As a final thought, what if Murphy’s Law begin to take effect? That is, when something, anything, goes wrong. The best action is to just be prepared for the worst.
I would still like to know what exactly you disagree with in The Zombie Survival Guide.
October 28th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
David: the 10 tons of gas you already have are at home, with all your suplies (see #5 and #6)And while looking for survivors the suplies are at home, and when the survivors are found you take them to your base, or, if they are also prepared the survivors will have two bases, and so on.
Now really…if zombies atack, and you have to choose between a bike and a Hummer…you’ll choose the bike ?
October 28th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
yaurt+David: Just stick a bike or two on the bike rack on the top of your hummer! Problem solved, you can ride them when you need to be quiet, and you can drive when you need to go fast. Cant believe no one said that already.
One of my cheif concerns about a zombie attack is the seemingly inavoidable affliction of one of your party members. If your best friend in the world comes back to the stronghold one night and tearfully shows you a bitten arm, how are you going to deal with it? Its just always been one of my fears, haha.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Teach your spouse to shoot and teach your kids o load magazines, lots and lots of magazines. Happiness may be a warm gun, but bliss is an endless supply of fresh magazines.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Teach your spouse to shoot and teach your kids to load magazines, lots and lots of magazines. Happiness may be a warm gun, but bliss is an endless supply of fresh magazines.
October 28th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Okay so has anyone seen Land of the Dead? worst zombie movie ever! A zombie playing a trombone and trying to be a human? And then the zombies figure out how to use guns and shit like that! The whole point of mass zombies is they use brute force and teeth to win their battles not guns, they re dead for christ sake. Dawn of the Dead was one of the best movies ever but the sequel was the shittest.
oh yea how the hell is a cat supposed to warn you of a zombie, meow? it’ll just run away and it can’t protect you worth shit!
October 28th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Land Of The Dead Was A Crap Fest
October 28th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Whoever said keeping a dog would help didn’t think it through. Sure it would be nice at first, and they could alert you to some zombies, but if they dog ever gets bitten then it becomes a zombie dog. And everyone knows a zombie dog is ten times worse than a regular zombie.
October 28th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Zombies are dead, therefore they can not generate their own body heat. This means that they freeze solid when the air temperature drops below freezing (32 degrees F). Pack up all your cold weather camping gear and a ton of food and head north. When winter comes to the rest of the hemisphere, you can just drive south again to re-supply. Take-out any frozen zombies you come across with a crowbar.
Repeat as long as necessary until the zombies have all rotted away.
Since summer in the northern hemisphere is winter in the southern hemisphere, no matter when a zombie outbreak took place, half of the world would be in winter. A zombie outbreak couldn’t spread very fast if zombies froze whenever they were outside. The cold places would probably be able to resist the initial onslaught pretty well, and would have lots of time to prepare for the warmer weather when the zombies would be thawed.
October 29th, 2007 at 12:59 am
I am starting to feel like I will definitely survive a zombie attack now – I will just use all of the tips in the article and comments and I can’t go wrong!
October 29th, 2007 at 5:25 am
jfraterI am starting to feel like I will definitely survive a zombie attack now
Or a Democrat Presidential Convention, at the very least. They are very similar.
October 29th, 2007 at 5:40 am
LOL! dead on cannon.
Slow and dumb traditional zombies, we may get our butt kicked for a while, but once large organized operations start we’d be ok.
fast and strong 28 days style zombies, we’re f*#$ed.lol
October 29th, 2007 at 6:01 am
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
Sounds like this list came just in time :0
October 29th, 2007 at 6:24 am
the zombies in 28 days later really freaked me out. i had never considered one that was sprinting. if those jokers are hanging around, get somewhere fast and bar the doors. don’t try to make any attempts to be a hero unless the situation absolutely demands it.
now, if the shaun of the dead zombies show up…find small groups of them and practice killing them. find out what works best and get good at it.
so long as we are talking about zombies that don’t have the ability to rationalize and problem-solve, i still like going to the local supercenter for a base camp. do you guys have wal-mart across the atlantic?
i can’t believe that anyone would suggest riding a bike in the midst of zombies. you only have to be wrong one time for it all to be over.
jamie – on a different list you said that you didn’t like shaun of the dead. what for?
October 29th, 2007 at 6:49 am
think about it though, if you hold up in walmart, youre going to be in an urban area. that means upwards of several tens of thousands of zombies, good luck. if there is a large scale outbreak, you must sooner or later leave the urban areas.
Bike is a good means of transport for several reasons. No fuel necessary, agile, light, you can go places cars cant, if necessary you can carry it. true there is no protection from attack on it, but as long as you pay attention, you should never get close enough to zombies to make it a problem.
October 29th, 2007 at 7:17 am
DiscHuker: No, I think there are no Wal-Marts here (at least I have never seen one
) but of course there are thousands of big shopping centres where you can build yourself a decent fortress, most of them settled close to a train station and featuring repair shops and gas stations.
Anyway, if you still hesitate, you can take this test to check your chances of surviving
http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/zombie
(By the way, I have a 60%)
October 29th, 2007 at 7:25 am
35%? Decent I guess.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:30 am
evan – mobility, agility are far down on the list of things i need in my transportation when in an attack from the un-dead. protection is my only concern. like i said earlier, if you make one mistake whilst riding a bike, you are done. if i turn the wrong way in my hummer, i run over a zombie and have to back up.
assuming that zombies eventually die from malnutrition, like in the movies, i would choose a great fort with months of supplies over running off into the woods or a far off cabin. after fortifying the doors, walmart would give me more food than i could ever eat, a huge cash of weapons and ammo and plenty of distractions to help with morale.
BTW, i have a 50% chance of surviving.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:42 am
ture but youll become a target for other survivors. in that kind of a situation, people will become more dangerous to you then zombies.
October 29th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Kenndo: Good idea, that’s just what I was saying. A car is number one, but after the initial escape a bike should be all you need.
October 29th, 2007 at 10:51 am
Ghost: That’s just a terrible idea. Nature is more deadly that any zombie.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
evan – i’ve been thinking about this bike thing. i agree that having something silent and agile would be handy but the vulnerability of a bike scares me. how’s this for compromise…a horse.
a little higher, faster, just as agile and able to go in tight spaces but also tougher and you can run people over if absolutely necessary.
October 29th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I just can’t believe that we are still on the bike thing! How much ammo and other stuff can you cary with your bike ? And who cares about the noise when you’re riddin’ at 100 mph in your suv ?! In this caise raw force is way better then stealth.
…Think about birds. You will only be protected from them in a basement or smth…
And about dogs…if wildlife is affected we’re fucked!
And back to the bike thing. Why would you want to go in tight places when the zombies atack ?
October 29th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Btw… 81% told ya i’m the master of zombie survival!
October 30th, 2007 at 5:51 am
yaurt I just can’t believe that we are still on the bike thing!
Yeah, I have to go with my man Yaurt on this; A bike is just about the worst idea I’ve read for surviving a zombie invasion.
If you leave anywhere without at least a half tank of gas, then you deserve to be eaten. Sure it makes alot of noise, but geez, it beats being cloths-lined by a Reggie White-like zombie in the middle of your escape. Not to mention, if the tires go flat, the chains fall off, or the frame gets bent, you’re toast. If the car breaks down, you can at least just roll up the windows, lock the doors, and wait for help. Or wait til the zombies lose interest.
Besides, you can carry a lot more supplies in a car then you can on a bike. You never get tired or lose your breath driving a car.
October 30th, 2007 at 6:11 am
and where are you going to drive? ok just remember this is a widespread invasion right? so youre not alone here. every friggin person in your state is going to have the same idea. he lets go get in the car and drive away from the major city. the roads will be clogged to a stand still. accidents, road rage, people running out of gas. total grid lock. mmmmmmm tasty humans in a can says the zombie. you cant out wait a zombie ( or hundreds), you need food and water, they dont. you going to go to the bathroom for several days in this same car? Face it, youd get stuck in a massive traffic jam and either be forced to abadon the car or die waiting there.
I agree, Horse would be good too. Remember you dont need to go very fast, just faster then a shuffling zombie. Why go into tight spaces? well, um you might need to! an option a bike gives you that the car doesnt. Oh damn, the bridge is out, guess you cars screwed, but hey ill just pick my bike up and hike to the other side. I think what david said is the best. Pack the SUV full of all the supplies you can and strap the bike to the top. create a bug out bag with all the absolutely needed supplies. get as far as you can in the SUV. when you hit the massive traffic jam or run out of gas. grab the bag and the bike and keep going. laugh as you here yaurt’s engine sputtering out and his hystrically crying when he’s surrounded by several hundred previously fellow motorists now flesh eating zombies
October 30th, 2007 at 6:30 am
mmmm weapons, when i get home i have to remember to post my zombie slaying rifle of choice….real too, not any of the airsoft crap
October 30th, 2007 at 6:38 am
http://home.comcast.net/~erouls/wallcollection.jpg thats the link if i can remember it correctly that shows 3 different set ups, minus the 100 round beta c mag muahahaha bring on the zombies!
October 30th, 2007 at 6:48 am
For all you zombie fanatics, there is a top 10 things NOT to do when attacked by a zombie on the hotlinks today.
October 30th, 2007 at 6:56 am
moral choice. ok youre raised as a strict catholic. you completely believe suicide is wrong and youll go to hell for it. jump to the zombie invasion. somehow youve managed to get yourself completely surrounded by zombies with no hope of escape. youre popping off zombies with your trusy 1911 .45 pistol but are quickly running out of ammo. down to your last bullet, you can see the horde getting close. what do you do? do you end your own life or do you use that last bullet to take one more zombie out and await your fate…
October 30th, 2007 at 7:06 am
evan: as someone who was raised as a strict Catholic – the answer is easy – fire your last bullet where it will do the most damage and start praying!
October 30th, 2007 at 7:16 am
lol, true enough i guess
October 30th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Ok, I got the solution for you Pro-Bike and Anti-Bike folks: Segway!
They’re quiet, they don’t use gas. They go where cars can’t…
This is ridiculous!
Guys, the world is overrun by zombies! Try to find and steal a tank! The army will be too busy being zombie kibble to worry about one tank more or less!
When it all comes down, you’re all gonna die if you can’t get more creative. And all this bickering is what’s going to cause you to let the zombies get you! Just like I said! None of you will be allowed in my hideout! Unless you’re a hot chick that can shoot; and even then, you still can’t have any Twix!
October 30th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Be it Zombies or Aliens, Ill take the Ripley stance here…
“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
October 30th, 2007 at 8:47 am
not too many tanks hanging around my town. assuming this is a zombie outbreak and not just a couple of random slow-walkers, time is of the essence. i’m gonna get the closest vehicle that will get me to walmart the fastest. a tank probably isn’t an option.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
DiscHuker:
If your town was being overrun by zombies, someone might bring a tank.
I’m just saying you need to be creative, otherwise you’re gonna be zombie poop!
October 30th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
sooner or later a tank might show up but are you gonna wait at the bus stop on the corner til that happens?
October 30th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Not me.
I’ll be in my dope hideout figuring out new ways to kill zombies.
But some of the kids arguing about bikes might do just that. Which sucks, because they’ll just turn into more zombies and make my job even harder.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
I personally am going to drive myself to the nearest airfield, while the zombies are all still busy feasting on the slow and stupid people. Then I’m stealing myself a plane and flying up in the mountains of West Virginia. It’ll take the zombies quite some time to get there, if ever. After all, they’ll be trying to walk up to the top of a mountain, and every person they meet along the way will have a gun and know how to use it. Besides which the houses are few and far between, and I don’t think zombies have the mental capacity to pack picnic lunches for the trek. Once I get there, there are Mennonites living there, so I’ll be all set because they can teach me how to live just fine without electricity and modern appliances. Fortunately I don’t need to bring a hot chick because I am a hot chick, and an excellent shot (and BTW, I got 89% on the Zombie Survival Test.) Best of luck, boys!
October 31st, 2007 at 7:44 am
“Fortunately I don’t need to bring a hot chick because I am a hot chick,” -Mathilda
we need proof, post a pic!
October 31st, 2007 at 9:22 am
evan – What? No way! Perhaps you are already a zombie, and just want to see a picture of me because you are on the lookout for a fine gourmet meal (of me!)
It’s this type of caution that is going to keep me alive when the zombies come!
October 31st, 2007 at 9:48 am
mmmmmmmmmmmm brains!
November 1st, 2007 at 4:15 am
Mathilda, would you marry me ?
All my life i’ve been lookin for a hot girl that can shoot and is prepared for zombie battle 
November 1st, 2007 at 4:52 am
Our first potential List Universe marriage?
November 1st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I’m still waiting for Mathilda’s comment
Mathilda, think about it, you and me, holdin’ each other, with our sawed off shotguns 
isn’t this true love ?
November 1st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
After all that “bike” thing goin’ on…i must say this.
My opinnion is as you know, go to the country…few population, NO TIGHT SPACES!!! and btw…if i must poop and pee in the car for several days JUST to live, i think i’ll do it.
But my strategy is this: go to the first big store of gas station, loot everything, the go back to the homebase (the one i said earlier should look like a fortress). Then go to the next big store or gas station. And btw, just to check, during the zombie atack power’s out. How will you get gas from gass stations?!
November 6th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
The first thing i would do in the event of a zombie outbreak is gather up a close knit group of just family or friends. No more than 6 ppl and no more than 2 vehicles. 6 ppl is enough to hold off a decent size attack and 2 vehicles in case one breaks down. I live in southern Louisianna so we would head down to the bouat launch and drive out to my fishing camp. its right on the water has beds, plenty of boat fuel, and we would live off the wildflife. Crawfish,duck,shrimp etc… And don’t say “well the zombies will be waiting in the boat LOL!!1″ no idiots zombies don’t lie in wait they bum rush anything with a pulse. And i don’t wanna hear shit about zombies walking underwater becasue they can’t. how in the hell would they navigate? Besides if they could walk underwater if the current didn’t sweep them away then they damn sure can’t walk through droopy ass swamp mud. And btw that whole bike idea is straight retarded for so many reasons to name. one being what if your tired? what if you been riding “stealthy” all day and your’re tired as shit then you get attacked and have to pedal some more lmao. Bike=instant zombie food end of story.
November 10th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
First of all
Evan: About the bike whole thing. You said a bike doesnt need fuel. The fuel is yourself, like chuck said. the Catholic thing: blow your brains out and realize the atheists were right.
David: Ghost is right and a bike will get you killed very quickly because there’s no protection.
Ghost: I agree with your plan. Thats why Alberta, Canada is perfect. It can get extremely cold or very hot (-45 to 40 C) Theres lots of urban and rural areas. but the best spot of all is my home town. quite small no more than 10,000 but has a walmart superstore and canadian tire (giant hardware store) why we have them no clue. (I guess for the zombie invasion.
November 14th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
read this list to my friend and he made a very good point. one of the first things to do is to find out if you are dealing with fast zombies or slow zombies. they are two completely different monkeys…
November 15th, 2007 at 3:53 am
Aliceson: i don’t believe in slow zombies, when i made the list i was thinking about fast zombies (28 days later style)
November 18th, 2007 at 4:33 am
why can’t there be both kinds of zombie. who said that they ALL have to run. I mean im pretty sureif an outbreak did occur it wouldnt just produce one type of zombie the whole way around some might not be as aggresive as others.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Best zombie defense weapon = Light Saber
Cuts through anything. Immediately cauterizes the wound so there is no blood splash.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
You see, I have no fears regarding a zombie attack for several reasons. I’ve thought it out many a time.
1.) I was trained by my uncles, who were USMC Force Recon, on the finer points of surviving in a martial law situation.
2.) I worked for UPS for a short time and I still have the package car master key which unlocks any and every UPS truck in my city. That’s what I’m taking for transportation.
3.) I worked at Wal-Mart also. The doors are easy to secure by building a barricade at each front entrance out of buggies, chain, and padlocks (which you can find in the Hardware dept.) and I know where the Sporting Goods Dept. gun case key is hidden in the back. VOILA! Weapons, ammo, canned food, bottled water, and an Electronics Dept. full of TVs and Xboxes! All we gotta do is fire up the emergency generators if we lose power and wait it out!
Great list, however. Anyone near Nashville, TN is welcome to find me at the Charlotte Pk. Wal-Mart in the event that a zombie attack occurs.
Yours
-J
December 10th, 2007 at 11:55 am
remember, if you take over a walmart or similar building to garrison, you will need at least a squad sized element to secure it. guard watch at night, etc. even though you may have chained all the entrances and such, that doesnt mean that the situation cant change.
remember that the idea of romeros zombie flicks is that zombies evolve too. i am not saying that the zombies are going to become sentient, but even a rat will find its way out of the maze eventually.
although i didnt read all of the posts (due to the length of this whole web page) i dont think an ak would be the best weapon. although the ammo is very very cheap and it is a very rugged weapon, they aren’t that accurate. so if you need to take head shots, it will be pretty difficult. i have a 7.62 fn/fal for long range stuff. i also like its semi auto ability for great follow on shots. then i have an 5.56 m4 for everything within 300m. from experience, an ACOG or eotech reflex sight work very well at those ranges and target acquisition (especially head shots)is simple. now once within 50m, i have a 12 guage with 1oz slugs. bird shot wont do anything. you are even taking a chance with buckshot. i also have a .45cal m1911. with a 230 grain slug going downrange, it is sure to stop just about anything. it has been tricked out a little to reduce reoil and keep it on target.
canned food can get you along, but that will eventually run out. you should invest in a smoker for meats. this will help preserve them for later. foraging here in minnesota can reap enough food for a decent diet (all things considered). another good idea would be a water filter system. with all the death running around, the ground water supply is sure to get contaminated. a good stock of batteries wouldnt hurt either. just make sure they are rechargeable and get a solar powered generator to recharge them.
body armor is very heavy. even the best (dragon skin) is still 20+ lbs for just a regular vest. i did some thinking and thought about the motocross stuff. it is tough but very light. you just need enough to keep a bite from getting through. the main point of this is that you have to find out how much speed and maneuverability you want to sacrifice for protection.
one of those motorolla scanners would be nice because you can monitor almost any channel. some will even pick up tv/radio broadcasts.
mainly though, you need a plan. more importantly an evacuation plan (for city folk). and like one of my old first sergeants used to say: “always have a plan B”.
hope this helps. i dont want to cause any consternation, but i am just trying to throw out some pointers.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
crap, i almost forgot about medical. you will need a good medical kit with lots of anti bacterial stuff in it and antibiotics if possible. dont want gang green or anything in zombieland.
on a close combat weapon, a crowbar is okay. but i would prefer a weapon you dont throw all your weight into and possible get yourself off balance. a samurai sword/katana come to mind. it is well balanced and you can get them relatively cheaply off of e bay (about 50 bucks). besides it has a pretty good coolness factor.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I’D USE A ZAPPER
December 10th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
my setup….muahahahha
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k191/erouls/zombiesetup.jpg
December 10th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
close to mine, but i have a fixed 4 power scope with a bullet drop compensator on it. i also have a 6 rail free float handguard with vertical grip at 6 o clock and reflex sight at the 2 o clock position. i tried the beta mags and they turned out to be more trouble than they are worth. too bulky for where i put the vertical grip at. i also have flip up front and rear sights with national match rear and a competition front sight post. the upper has a “machine gun” barrel (1″ thick). i have a panther compensator just in case i have to cut barbed wire or something.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
oh and a titanium firing pin and bolt
December 11th, 2007 at 6:14 am
nice jim!
That M4 style one has 14″ m4 barrel with fixed flash hider (for overall 16″ barrel to meet federal laws), an Aimpoint Comp 2,KAC RAS-2 rail system and forward grip, fixed frony site, KAC flip up rear. havent ran into any problems with the beta c mag, but yea ive heard they can be finicky.
my normal 20″ A2 style one has national match RRA lower and a ACOG Ta31 on it, my varmiter has 18″ long barrel, nation match RRA lower, 1 inch SS barrel and loopy M3 scope on it and bipod, and My 16″ carbine has a ARMS SIR on it with a eotech 552(i think is the model). Building my forth one now.
December 12th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I’m in the middle of making a zombie defense site, and I’m sure as hell putting up some of these tips. Some just don’t seem rational, like find random people you don’t know that have been bitten, or using a bike in a dense urban area… Still, nice list. I’ll leave the name of the site when its near completion for you zombie hunters out there
December 16th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Thank you. I now feel safe, so when it happens I’ll be prepared. Luckily for me I live in a farm and have firearms a plenty, and wide open spaces. Although, that having been said, my firearm IS a rifle…. so if i can’t be bothered shooting them, I can always hit them over the head with it…
The only zombie movie I have ever seen is ‘Shaun of the Dead’ and thats just hilarious. What I need to do is watch more so I know what to expect. No such thing as being to careful!
December 18th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
This topic is analyzed in depth by the Zombie Squad. Go to their site for knowledge. http://www.zombiehunters.org
December 20th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
i just read most of the zombie survival guide and i can’t say i am impressed. anybody else feel the same way?
December 21st, 2007 at 2:17 pm
this are good this to remember. but and very good thing to know is… get ready befor they come to life.
December 25th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
i think u find yourself a nice place in he country with at least two floors and an attic, As Max says destroy the staircase after getiing everything u need and in an emerency u got the attic to fall back on. Only problrm is destroying the staircase which i think is much harder than it looks.
December 29th, 2007 at 9:02 am
that upstairs better have running water and a toilet.
December 31st, 2007 at 6:30 pm
sorry guys… were already screwed http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm
Pack your bags and run the hell away is all i have to say to you.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:41 pm
People!!! You want to AVOID Walmart during a zombie attack. Zombies migrate toward Walmarts. They use them as sort of a headquarters or basecamp.
January 1st, 2008 at 12:56 am
Survivor: That was 3 years ago. Where the hell are we supposed to run?
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 pm
oh I didn’t notice the date
It was a old april fools joke that was pretty widespread. Looks pretty official though doesn’t it?
January 4th, 2008 at 9:34 am
damnit! when are the zombies going to get here then?
January 4th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I read the comments for a while, but it never seemed to come up.
Wouldn’t everyone else be looting the major stores, too? At the very beginning of the attack, anyway. I think you’d do better to have supplies prepared ahead of time then risking your neck at the local WalMart.
January 4th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Just jumped over here from another list…
Ever notice how there’s never any ‘gun control’ discussions in zombie movies?
…the survivors always have guns, and everyone else comes to them for help or protection.
I’ll let you chew on that for a while.
Have fun!
January 5th, 2008 at 1:52 am
I’ve realized something pertaining to my post at 109… Those aren’t zombies at my local Walmart, they’re just the average townfolk from my area!..
As far as #1 goes, don’t trust the police (authorities) because they, themselves could be zombies. They will try to fool you into thinking they’re safe.
January 5th, 2008 at 2:06 am
Don’t get cheap, or store brand, zombie repellant. They don’t have enough garlic oil(or something) in them. Spend a little extra for the “ZombeX” or “Zom-B-Gone” brand zombie repellants.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Yarr – this is a joke thread. if you want to rant find an annoying gun control thread.
Drogo – what is the deal with you?
January 7th, 2008 at 8:28 am
joke? this is serious, right? lol
January 8th, 2008 at 3:27 am
Yarr- I went to a talk Max Brooks gave sometime ago at the Barbican and he actually said that it was probably a good thing that the UK had better gun control laws because it meant if the zombie thing did happen you would not just have people going crazy and shooting everyone whether they were a zombie or not. Good point really…
January 8th, 2008 at 11:04 am
no, not good really. the U.K. has the most strict gun control laws, but the highest homocide rate in the world (as of 2003).
as far as zombies go, do you want to shoot them from a distance, or wait until they get up close say with a shovel or something.
I DO NOT WANT TO TURN THIS INTO A GUN CONTROL DEBATE! but like i mentioned before. i was NOT very impressed with max’s book. there are many flaws/weaknesses in his “guide”.
January 8th, 2008 at 11:34 am
his guide was a semi serious look at it, but it still a joke book, i mean its about a zombie uprising lol
January 8th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
jim; rather sceptical about all this…. is the latest data u can get 2003? Know its silly but….well…i think ure talking shit.
January 8th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
nope. my family was in england in ‘03 and it was all over their news. just proves the best way for only the criminals to have guns is to ban them.
January 8th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
if you dont believe me, here is a 1998 statistic. http://www.haciendapub.com/stolinsky.html
January 8th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
dont like that one? here’s another
http://www.ias.org.uk/resources/publications/alcoholalert/alert200701/al200701_p14.html
January 9th, 2008 at 4:16 am
OH, You poor people who think zombies are a joke! You won’t be laughing when you look out your window and see them eating your neighbors!
(I was going to say “eating your sister” but some people might take that the wrong way
)
January 10th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
worse comes to worse, your city has to be nuked.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:34 am
have we reaches the end of the blog? i havent seen anybody on here in a while.
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
kunleski: the list is for LOL not FYI
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 am
I would drive to coast, take a boat and go to an island. Island should be relatively small to be able to clean it from zombies, and have fresh water source. Do not forget plant seeds and fishing equipment. The reason to go to island is that I never heard of zombies swimming or being able to use any vehicle (although in Zombie Wedding film there was a zombie walking on sea floor).
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Drogo:what are u talking about. there is not even a possibility of zombies existing
January 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
avi: thats what they want you to think lol but dont worry Bush already foresaw the threat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoXgRtDysLY
January 29th, 2008 at 4:45 am
Has anyone ever read World War Z by Max Brooks? I just finished it’s an awesome book it shows a realistic side of what would happen during a Z invasion. Basically we get our asses kicked but come back using civil war era tactics. “Whats the use of a stealth bomb against an enemy who has no radar?”
January 30th, 2008 at 5:03 am
this list is in the humour section because zombies aren’t real.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:05 am
most vids where u c zombies are not real
January 30th, 2008 at 5:15 am
flv:don’t believe everything u c on youtube or metacafe or metatube or nutube (whatever nutube is)
January 30th, 2008 at 6:28 am
avi, aaaavi, BEWARE of the things that go BUMP in the night!!!
They’re coming to get you, a-avi!
January 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
“i am legend” for how to survive zombie attacks. if you have it in your blood killing or running away from them is not the problem; problem is to keep yourself up. notice how will smith tries to keep his mind up by talking to models like they are real.
(couldn’t have time to read all of the comments, just wishing that noone has mentioned this before.. pls pls, dont want to get embrassed
January 31st, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Wear a suit made of aluminum foil. No one likes biting that stuff.
January 31st, 2008 at 6:01 pm
P.S-Ness fought two types of Zombie in EarthBound. he defeated them using a trap called Zombie Paper.
February 1st, 2008 at 5:35 pm
i was just thinking the other day. if you had a good defensive perimeter set up with a good wall or taller structure, you could use that chainsaw on a stick thing. the same one they use for pruning trees. they sell them at any home depot or lowes. just make sure you get the gas one. i know gas would be in short supply but i would hate to have to run the human powered generator to use an electrical one.
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:10 am
drogo:it isn’t as easy to make me believe inzombies as you think. OH yeah… zombies r 1 of the things that will only come to you if you think they will (which i don’t & i’m pretty sure my neighbours don’t either)
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:17 am
drogo:oooh…perhaps they are coming to get you…but non-beleivers are a totally different matter
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:25 am
and i am not american flv
February 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
flv:the zombie it shows is fake. bush’s stupidity is true.
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:45 am
flv:OK, slight possibility, but not likely
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:46 am
who said everyone would get in a car?
February 3rd, 2008 at 7:48 am
#8 If you see zombie’s everywhere, it’s time to go to narcotics anonymous.
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:13 am
how many times have you thought, “if i just close my eyes and imagine this never happened, the zombies will vanish.” it is the real #1 zombie survival tip.
February 4th, 2008 at 4:23 am
avi,, That reminds me of something. Years ago I had the same ridiculous reoccuring dream happen to me several times. I was getting chased by zombie-like space aliens.
Then one day there was a dream expert on a radio show. He said that you can tell yourself at bedtime, “If I have that dream, I’m going to realize it’s just a dream, while I’m dreaming.” It worked! The next time I had that stupid dream I also dreamt saying, “Wait a second, this is only a dream!” The zombie-like space alien stopped chasing me, stood looking at me for a second, then I woke up. (Haha) I never had the dream again.
I think I had that dream because my friends and I had recently stopped watching rented horror movies. I think it was withdrawal symptoms. (haha)
February 4th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
got a 70%survival rate and dont go to walmart ……. there will be undead in there….. go to the local gun enthusiast shooting range you’ll be safe……. they make ammo …. best guns ever ….(they have 5 freakin m134s) and theres a quikemart next door (ps. only take canned goods and never use anyone elses cutlary)….. im a skilled sniper and im gould with pistols and assault rifles
February 10th, 2008 at 8:25 am
drogo:yup, there are some things that only continue (or even start) when you worry about them.
February 21st, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Delio: “I am Legend” is about Vamps, read the book! Although you are right, keeping your sanity once you are the only one left is probably the most important part!
I only got a 45% survival rate, mostly cuz I don’t have guns & only have limited experience shooting them.
February 23rd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
reads really sensible to me. thanks for the tips.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Most of these tips you don’t even need.First of all before any of this happens, build a brick/stone wall all around your house.Make sure the gate is very thick metal. Walking zombies wont have anything on you if you do that. Install solar panels on your roof top so you can have electricity in your home. Get food that is nonperishable and stash it upstairs. Install window bars on all of your first story window, that way if any zombies get through they wont be able to get in that way. When the zombies start coming if they manage to get past your brick/stone wall which is very unlikely for slow zombies, stack furniture at your door and board up all of the windows(which are already protected)for even more protection, then with what ever you have on hand (preferably a sledgehammer) destroy your staircase !DO NOT USE FIRE!
Following all of these steps you can ride out the apocalypse in style, playing xbox 360.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Wow…….if Zombies were attacking, that would mean that the dead were rising, because Zombies are, of course, the dead ressurected.
Hmmmmm, so, I would actually have the opportunity to date certain guys who have passed on?
Hell, the first thing I would do is my make-up and hair, then go out looking for the Marquis De Sade….. I always wanted to go out with him! LOL.
xoxoxo
March 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
slayer,
a good idea, but not for most that own a house. with most zoning laws, you cant just build a wall like that. you have to apply for all the proper permits, etc. if you live in a area that has a homeowners association, good freakin luck. you cant even change the color of your gutters without their permission. the areas where you can get away with just building a wall like that have a very low population density anyway. as for the rest of the plan, it is fine until the power grid goes down. then you wont have any water or electricity. i understand you talked about solar panels. even the best panels out there are only 30% efficient and you would have to severely limit your appliance use to conserve batteries (if you remembered to add them to your system). once the water stops, you will have to worry about sewage and the subsequent disease it brings. no place in the city or suburbs will let you put up an outhouse. and good luck digging one after the zombies come.
personally, i would only remain in an urban/suburban area for a short amount of time. enough to figure out exactly what is happening (i.e. zombies, asteroid strike, riots or whatever). that would dictate where i would go from there. first things first though, i would get out into the countryside via a non-likely avenue of approach. that is i would not take the highways or other major throughways because they would be clogged with traffic and pannickers. i have already figured my route out of this area. from there i would either link up with friends and family at the predetermined location, or head out to my remote location.
dont get me wrong, you have a good start to the plan, but you need to think further out.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
wow uve really thought about that….. but i believe his plan of baring up the windows and abondining the stairs is a desent plan but definatly only short term… you would have 2 get som sort of abondend castle with assalt teams leaveing to collect food but nothing is 100% safe if you seen land of the dead you can see they set up an amazing perimiter electric fences the lot but they still loosse controll in the end,,,, so if thatr happens chances are where all DEAD ………….wb
March 8th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Ok I feel like Im pretty prepared for a zombie attack but im open for suggestions…so here me out, The first thing you need to realize in a zombie outbreak is that you know nothing, no information gathered from any list,movie,game,book,or whatever can be presumed accurate. Even though I loved dawn of the dead and the zombie survival guide, they are still not worth risking my life over beings that they suggest facts about zombies, and since a zombie attack has never actually occurred let alone been recorded theres no way to came any information on such a thing to be true. If you wanna know where to go from there just ask
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:12 am
matthew, that is pretty much what i said. unfortunately, there are no castles (occupied or abandoned) where i live. you would have to go to europe to find castles. there is an old civil war era fort near here though. you run into 2 problems with those. no running water or electricity. you dont necessarilly need electricity, but you definitely need water.
the assault teams you mention would depend on the area. if you are being horded by zombies, then not probably a good idea. it would be easier to pick them off in a horde until it thinned out. remember that might take a lot of ammo. which i dont mind wasting, but you will need to conserve it at this point. molotovs would be my best bet. cheap, simple and easy. you dont have to use gas either. you can use grain alcohol, lighter fluid, kerosene, etc..
after thinking about it, if i had to be stuck in a urban/suburban area, i thought that a fire department would be a good idea. they are mostly brick and are small enough to defend with a squad sized element or less. they have a small amount of medical supplies and oxygen masks if need be. not to mention, they have 1 cool get away vehicle and a pretty big water supply. they should also have enough hand held radios and scanners to figure out what is going on before the general public does. i figured the police stations would overrun with displaced persons and possibly zombies. a wal-mart or similar business would only be well suited for at least a platoon to defend. with all the doors and exits and all the people to have zombie watch 24/7, it just seems more trouble than it is worth. i wouldnt even attempt a hospital. remember this is only if i am stuck in the city.
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I think the list is very helpful i scored a 100% on the survial qiuz
April 5th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
In the event of a Zombie invasion, you might as well take an overdose of sleeping pills because here’s the thing: ZOMBIES DON’T DIE UNLESS YOU KILL THEM. There’s no ‘waiting it out.’ They’ll be going forever. And they’ll eventually find you. Zombies can’t die of starvation, so either you kill them or they kill you. It’s that simple.
You could steal a submarine or a cruise ship. A ship will protect you from all zombies except Zombie Jesus. Then you’re fucked.
April 19th, 2008 at 9:40 am
the hing you forget, exe, is that zomies have no regenerative abilities. as the human body moves (or for that matter any body with muscles) it rips the muscles. Since zombies cannot regenerate, eventually they will effectively rip ther limbs off. In time the zombies are little more than moaing piles of flesh on the ground, easy targets for even the weakest shots.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
‘9. Juggz – October 26th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Neo said it best: “Guns, lots of guns!”‘
-No, guns are okay, but they aren’t exactly ideal. It’s the whole *running out of bullets* thing. Nothing better than some blades. Pick up an s-word and save yo ass.
Zombiecreed knows whats up. Listen, the source of the zombie outbreak governs the best course of action. Also, depending on the source, the response time will vary. However, any kind of fictionalized zombie scenario is helpful. Not only do the movies desensitize you to the situation at hand, but, they give a basic understanding of what a zombie would really be like. So many different theories on zombies. Some of my faves are going to be from The Walking Dead comic series by Kirkman. Amazing. That’s all that can be said.
April 27th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
boom,
so you would give up a “gun” for a sword?
April 29th, 2008 at 2:46 am
yOu You BreaThErs canT rUn FoRever,,,,, wE wIll eveNtUualLy gEt YoU,,,, annd EAt yoUrr BRAINS!!!!…
April 29th, 2008 at 2:49 am
P.S.
Yours truly,
Steve the zombie
April 29th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
steeeev,
if you need a third eye, stop by my place.
May 19th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Decent list but you can gather supplies before the outbreak its not like the credit card company is going to come after you if everyones running for there lives. Also I wouldn’t search for survivors but would help them if i happened upon them. But be forewarned you get caught harboring a zombie or a bite victim on someone else or yourself no waiting for the last second as they turn no you get a bullet immediately and if your just harboring them better hope you can run faster than I shoot. wall marts and the like are not a good place to hold up maybe to loot but not to stay. wall marts are generally near heavily populated areas. Personally i recommend your nearest state forestry with several bales of chicken wire and an industrial staple gun you can secure what ever amount of ares you need to. from there you can forage for food or even plant a garden and with work start to build a shelter seeing as you will have plenty of wood. also 22 cal rounds are recommended. They are plentiful you can fit way more 22s in your pocket than shotgun shells. Also any round bigger than a 40 cal is discouraged because once you reach 45 cal of bigger the chance of a ricochet of of a skull is a lot bigger than you think and over 50% at .50 cal. And last quiet is better because when you think about it the sense that will last the longest is hearing eyesight will be a blur most likely touch is irrelevant and taste isn’t something i want to find out. also great tactic for clearing an area for looting is to have 2 or 3 lie down prone in the bed a pickup truck with rifles while you drive through town slowly honking periodically to draw out the zeds while they fire and if things get to hot pull up the tailgate and hit it.
Current weapons in my zombie survival kit
1) Walther p22 – 22 cal pistol
2) marlin model 60 – 22 cal rifle
3) S&W sigma series – 9 mil
4) Hi-point 995 carbine – 9 mil
5) machete – old style and durable as hell
6) Gerber Hatchet – durable and fits other applications
Hope someone sees this cause ill need good people when Z-day arrives
May 24th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Z.S.E.,
you put way too much stock into mr brooks’ book. unless youre hunting squirrels and rabbits or conducting a mob hit, a .22lr is pretty much useless. sure ammo is cheap as hell, but they just dont match up ballistically. with a .22lr @ 50 meters you have on average 1125 fps with 85 ftlbs. if you just step up to the .223, the ballistics @ 100 meters (62 gr) are 3150 fps and just over 900 ftlbs. if it is cheap ammo you are seeking, the 7.62×39mm (std AK) @ 100 meters is 2062 fps with 1180 ftlbs. the .22 cal is popular with the mob because the projectiles are lead and are generally untraceable after hitting your target and most of the .22lr is subsonic for use with suppressors. in personal experience, i have seen both .223 and 7.62×39 go through skulls at around 50 meters. the 7.62×39 went straight through, but the .223 took off exit wound side of the head. i am not trying to belittle you in any way, i just hope you didnt read the zombie guide as gospel.
May 28th, 2008 at 2:35 am
u don’t have 2 be fast 2 outrun a zombie…just faster than the rest of uy party
May 30th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
ummmm if there are zombie the truth is, someone may still be hiding or barracaded.dont immedietyly assume there are no survivors, or no zombies.
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Five Most likely Causes of a Zombie OutBreak
#5.
Brain Parasites
As seen in …
Resident Evil IV
What are they?
Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There’s one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.
This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat, so the parasite takes over the rat’s brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn’t even know.
Of course, those are just rats, right?
How it can result in zombies:
Hey, did we mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don’t know it? Hey, maybe you’re one of them. Flip a coin.
Oh, also, they’ve done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going batshit insane.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Humans and rats aren’t all that different; thats why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, we mean.
If you’re comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you’re forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponizing such bugs. You’ve got to wonder if the lab workers don’t carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don’t want to sleep at night, that is.
You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don’t fit the dictionary definition of “zombies,” but we can assure you that the distinction won’t matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.
#4.
Neurotoxins
As seen in …
The movie The Serpent and the Rainbow, the upcoming Resident Evil 5 video game.
What are they?
There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you’ll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.
The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.
How it can result in zombies:
“Can?” How about “does.”
This stuff has happened in Haiti; that’s where the word “zombie” comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy’s actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. We’re hoping that part wasn’t true.
What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).
So, the next time you’re pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
On the one hand, it’s already fucking happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.
Yet.
#3.
The Real Rage Virus
As seen in …
28 Days Later
What is it?
In the movie, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow’s spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.
And, when humans eat the meat …
How it can result in zombies:
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:
* Changes in gait (walking)
* Hallucinations
* Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
* Muscle twitching
* Myoclonic jerks or seizures
* Rapidly developing delirium or dementia
Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren’t known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.
But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they’ve tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain’s ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it’s a real-world 28 Days Later.
So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we’ll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.
#2.
Neurogenesis
As seen in …
Laboratories around the world.
What is it?
You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.
You can see where this is going.
How it can result in zombies:
You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.
Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you’re gone. Right?
Well, not for long. They’re already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.
Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we’ll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.
That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to “reanimation research” (yes, that’s what they call it) explains how the process of “reanimating” a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.
Reanimation research (artist’s rendering)
You don’t need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you’ll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey’s Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they’ve been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).
So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead zombie. So there.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.
How long until somebody tries this? We’re betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.
#1.
Nanobots
As seen in…
Michael Crichton’s novel Prey, The PS2 game Nano Breaker
What are they?
Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We’re talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisbily build–or destroy–anything. Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can’t resist seeing how it happens.
How it can result in zombies:
Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.
According to studies, within a decade they’ll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That’s right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Do the math, people.
Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you’ve deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.
The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots. To preserve themselves, they’d need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host. Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.
Now, it should be more than clear by this point that our goal is to be responsible researchers. We don’t want to create a panic here. All we’re saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannabalistic undead.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
dogs cont be turned into zombies also having a dog wont be a good idae cause they will just keep on barking and the zombie will know were u r so that answers the qeustoins on some peoples minds.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Cars; A terrible idea. They run on fuel, most of which would have been siphoned by the time you find a zombie-ready car. Big-rigs=you are canned food. Armored trucks;Could be a good hideout if you have enough supplies, maybe. SUVs, mini-vans, any car = X( they need fuel, you need to carry the fuel, depending on what kind of car effects your speed because you aren’t gonna find gas or diesel or any fuel every time you see a station. Personally, I think bikes ARE the best, (unless you are being attacked) no fuel, maneuverable, you can just (if they can fold up like some do) fold up your bike climb the rocks and keep moving. Motorcycles=meh. I would rather have a gun as a secondary weapon and a blade or club as my primary. Groups are fifty fifty, if you live in a large apartment complex, make your way to the roof or top floor and make a zombie-proof exit to get down if you are ambushed, plus there are bound to be veterans in apartment complexes or neighborhoods. Also, stay away from any authority complexes, such as police departments, fire dept., and others of the sort. My best bet would be a school because they have fences gates, no way to the roof (so bring a ladder
) flat roofs, they have food, though they are most likely perishable, medical supplies (nothing for serious injuries) and desks can be barricades if you want to be inside the school rather than the roof. GET AWAY FROM MALLS. People really DO think they’re safe because they saw it in a movie so don’t even be near a mall. I hope I helped. 
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
To the guy saying he would stay in a Wal-Mart and live off the supplies within, do you really think you would be the only one with that idea? Stores would be looted and cleaned out of their stock very quickly, and survivors would be killing each other for supplies.
Besides that, the Wal-Mart stores that aren’t on the outskirts of heavily populated major cities are still located in or very close to busliting suburbs. The places where the most people were living would then be where the most zombies are.
June 24th, 2008 at 1:15 am
I’m sorry if anyone already covered this (too many comments lol) But The “zombies” in 28 days later are NOT zombies. They starved to death… starved to DEATH! They didn’t eat people, they attacked them and killed them or had them turn, then left them alone. Sorry, it’s a sore point with me…damn the purist in me hehe. And the thought of the zombies freezing in winter is pretty good…wonder why I never thought of that lol.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
The zombies in 28 Days Later are a new kind of zombie, but the basic premise is still a “zombie” film.
July 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
wow, i’m ready now. This was very helpful
August 4th, 2008 at 11:44 am
okay,
i am not particularly fond of the bicycle idea. here is the major flaw i see. energy. with any survival situation, you have to conserve energy at all costs. the more energy you exert, the more you need to consume (food). so riding a bike uses more energy than driving a car or truck. i understand the whole gasoline thing. yeah it will always need gas. but with a hunk of hose, you should be able to siphon from just about anything. and if the vehicle is diesel, you can use vegetable oil as well. besides you can always carry a bike as back-up.
the second problem i see with riding a bike is the amount of “stuff” you can carry. now i believe in travelling light, believe me. i was in a ranger batallion for 5 years. i hate having to carry more than you have to. but a true combat load should never bee over 50 lbs. actually 48 by army standards. more than that and you become a walking target, instead of a highly maneuverable one. now i dont know about anybody else, but i would hate to have to carry even 50lbs on a bike much less walk with it. think of all the food you would have to consume to keep carrying that load. and when you combine that with the fact that the human body needs (give or take) 3 qts of water per day just to survive, you better be carrying only food and water on that bike.
as far as weapons go, here is my belief. take them out as far away from you as you can. this sort of reverts back to the energy principle. if you have to waste energy beheading zombies with a whatever (even though it would be fun), you could just as easily pull a trigger and be done with it. saves a ton of trouble. as for the type of weapon, find something that you can handle. i.e. a smaller person shouldnt need a 12 ga shotgun with 3 1/2 ” magnum shells. it should also be a common caliber. you are going to have a tough time trying to find ammunition as it is (energy rule) why make it harder. other than that, it is up to the individual what they get. you could debate the whole lever action vs. semi auto stuff, but if you feel comfortable with a particular weapon, then knock yourself out.
August 10th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
first thing – number sevens in the list t the top is abwt using the car to find survivors and if i’m right (forgive me to goin bak to this) but someone was saying to use a bike. ye, a bike can get in places that cars can’t go and it doesn’t need petrol, but its not very gd for pikin up survivors is it. If it was up to me i’dgo for a large car/van/truck, a normal sized car may still be overrun. i mean think of it like this – if you keep hitting things 1 after another in the car it may start to slow you down or all of the bodies lying under the car may low u dwn bt if u use a larger vehicle theres more chance that u’ll ram straigh through them. also the best weaponsin my opinion are
melee: a crowbar – good for avin in skulls and has other uses like opening doors or levring things.
ranged:
a) a shotgun – it may be heavy but it has quite a wide range.
b) maybe a rifle – accurate and not as heavy as the shotgun
and always save a bullet for urself – i aint gettin eaten alive… infact as far as i’m concerned i aint gettin eaten my zombies wether i’m dead or alive and if ur wonderin ow i’ll stop them from eatin meafter my deah i’ll get some explosives and blow myself to pieces
September 4th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
If you really believe that zombies are real, put down the controller, stay off the computer, and go rot your brain with other narcotics
September 30th, 2008 at 1:46 am
I was more entertained with the comments rather that the list itself! Haha!
Especially the car vs. bike debate!
October 7th, 2008 at 11:42 am
When the infection starts… people are going to wish they read this…
October 15th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Records…
If you have no weapons, use records.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Nothing new here.
Why not make a vampire survival list and throw garlic, crucifixes and sunlight on there.
November 11th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
# 173
http://www.Cracked.com Correct?
November 21st, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I am a 14 year old girl, not very old at all, but I definitely do believe that zombies will happen. I am actually excited more than anything for them to happen. I play zombie games, yes I know, nerdy, but I’m a hott nerd. lol. anyway, I’ve also been thinking about where i’ll be going and doing when they do attack. I live in Kansas City Missouri, and there is a gun store over by me in Claycomo so i’ll go there, and get me a few handguns, and when I get these guns I sure as hell won’t be payin for them, I’ll be stealin these mugs. lol. but my preferred gun is a machine gun, I forgot the name of it but I get it every time I play this one zombie game, and I’ll take a load of ammo, a load of food, plenty of weapons, and I’ve already made a plan of having a back up weapon like a mechetti and also we have a sword, so I’m pretty much set except for my little sister, I just couldn’t bare to see anything happen to her. I’d have me and my toughest friends gathered and hopefully my family will be in a safe spot, and we’ll go and kick some zombie ass. I know that this is what I was put on this earth for, I dream of it, and I have a wicked awesome plan and I would just love to act on it.
Hopefully this happens before I have kids, I’d rather be young and not worrying about my kids, because then I’ll be able to really give those un-dead rotting fucks an ass kicking. I really don’t care if people don’t believe in zombies, I know they’ll happen and I’m highly ready for them to.
http://www.myspace.com/elenaisahottieeeeduhh
Also, I got a 70% on the zombie survival thing. lol.
I can’t exactly drive yet.. so I’ll probably be doing most of my traveling on foot, or with my friends while they drive.
I’d preferrably be at my house because It’s pretty safe, my house is a douplex so the downstairs is pretty much underground, and I could easily barricade my house and stay upstairs. My only real worries are the water, electricity, entertainment, food and ammo because that gun store is about a mile away, not too bad though. the traveling part is what worries me.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:24 am
This list is so wrong. Let’s see…
1. You should cooeprate with aouthorities. Or is your plan to get on their bad side and end up locked in jail, leaving you in your cell when zombies come around looking for soemthing to eat? cooperate but stay out of their way. Don’t attract too much attention with obviously looted stuff or walking around with clearly illegal weapons (including improvised ones)
2. Guns are not that effective. you need a head shot to kill a zombie and unless you know how to use gun well it’s not likely you’ll get a lot of those. Second they are loud attracting zombies from all over the place.
3. Light armor is not effective against bites to arms and elgs, heavy armor will tire you down and restrict your mobility.
4. OK, that makes sense jsut remeber everybody will be thinking that as well (=congestion on raods). Plan ahead. where are you going? How to get there? What are alternate routes? Once you get there what are you planning to do there? What supplies will I need on the road? If I’m travelling by motor vehicle where and if can I get gas? Just “heading out to the country” with no specifics will get you eaten pronto.
5. No, no, no. don’t jsut barge into a shop and take everything you see. first, how will you carry it? If you have a car that’s fine but will you be able to get gas? If you travel on foot will you be able to carry it all so you don’t get tired after 1 hour? Take essentials, don’t overpack
6. Baricading is good but advice on how to do it useless. Barb wire works agaisnt humans, not agaisnt zombies. Pressure of thier mass will break it down sooner rather than later. Gas filled cans are not specified. If we are talking poisenous gas it’s useless agaisnt zombies, if we are talking gasoline it’s useless as well and will start a fire you may not be able to contain and could easily spread to where you are. And if you set a zombie on fire he will continue to walk around spreading fire. Also when baricading yourself you have to think about supplies (food, ammo for weapons, medicine). Generators sound nice and give you some creature comforts but how long will gas last? And they are loud, attracting zombie attention.
7. Yes and no. Groups are good, a group to large is liability. soemthing up to 10 people is good. And advice on how to search them will get you killed pronto. Drive to the city and honk? WTF? First of all it will attract zombies which means other people will stay away. Even if you have zombie proof car will you be able to drive away? They may not get in but if they surround you you woun’t be able to drive away. Will you be able to recognise humans from zombies? Will humans be OK or will they simply take from you what they want and leave you exposed? If you are alone then wait for a while for things to settle down a bit. If you have a small group don’t expand it.
November 26th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
you are post #189. there are quite a few people that beat you to the punch.
November 27th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
wow! 1 year old post!
honestly -
do you think you have done your homework?
will you survive a zombie infestation?
if a zombie outbreak occurs right now, how long would you survive?
if a zombie infestation happens today, after all my research, i’d probably survive one or two weeks.
December 8th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
I’m surprised after reading this entire post that no one even thought of the nuclear power plants across the world. When the zombie apocalypse happens there will be only a couple of days maybe weeks till those power plants start melt down. This would release so much nuclear fallout that no matter what you do to survive the zombies the radiation will kill you. Sucks, cuz i’d really like to kick some zombie ass
December 15th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Id get 3 others like left for dead, shot guns, hummers, 1 spair bullet for suicide, supplies and do the winter thing like goasts idea. Second… whats the whole deal with getting hot chicks??? If zombies invade we probably wont be thinking about how our hair and nails look. also land of the dead is entertaining! You guys have bad taste in movies.
December 18th, 2008 at 10:13 am
One of the safest places would be a prison, i think.
I thought about this a while ago but has anyone seen on a movie about zombies living in the sea or even surviving it. cos i thought the safest place would b a medium sized boat cos ur out of reach of the zombies cos they probably dont know how to swim n u could travel to a place that maybe isnt affected to get supplys or if the place is affect just sail on by.
That would be my plan anyway even tho i do live out in the country…..
December 28th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
there was an old zombie movie (cant remember the name) where the zombies walked on the bottom of the sea. they eventually made it to shore. the remake of dawn of the dead had the group fleeing to a sailboat on lake michigan. they eventually made it to an island only to find it was already under infestation.
December 28th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Jim,
i think that is Land of the dead..
December 28th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
oh sorry i missread your comment. never mind
January 11th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I feel like fire should be somewhere on here. But I guess that falls into the “get armed” portion of the list.
January 16th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
good list and all but this list and all zombie films have got the same things wrong…….Zombies will eat each other, zombies are left with the most basic survival instinct, eat, this means that it will not be fussed about what it’s eating and cannabilism will not be one of it’s DO NOT DO’S.
January 21st, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Hmmmm well to all those people saying that you can’t outlast the zombies you are wrong. With out the body to maintain it the body will rot. Within a month the zombies would be piles of moaning body parts. Of course this determines on when the infected gets infected. The initial zombies will die in a month but people just getting infected will still be wandering around. I would say that with in a year the zombie apocalypse would be over, we all died or the survivors start repopulating.
January 24th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Ahh the logistics of zombie survival. I have a friend who has actually zombie proofed her apartment. Putting in steel plated vault doors, and creating ziplines from her apartment to nearby buildings, and creating a large arsonal of weapons, food, and other supplies that will aid her in the unfortunate event of the inevitable Zombie uprising.
Riding a bike would be one of the stupidists things you can do brah. What happens when you’re looking behind you to see how far ahead from the main zombie population you are when suddenly there’s one right in front of you, knocking you off your little tricycle?
As for the whole body armor thing, I bet that will cause more damage than take care of. You want to be fast and versitile. The zombie aren’t going to have guns or other weapons (hopefully they’re Ramero zombies) so there really isn’t any need for that much equipment on your body.
I think that people need to realize that there is going to be mass hysteria, so you are going to need to worry about other people with guns also.
I say get a jeep, two other friends (for the love of God not strangers, strangers= not a fucking good thing)go out to the country, board up a house, make sure it’s zombieproofed, than go hit up your sporting goods store and get the shit you need. Guns, ammo, food, water, a radio (in case there’s any news on the whole situation), sleeping bags, maybe a crossbow and some bolts for it, a couple packs of smokes, and some warm clothes, than go back to your country house, stake out on top of the roof and have a little fun popping the zombies off as they come in.
As for me, I look forward to the uprising, as I see it, it’s just a little fun.
January 28th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
alright ladies and gents… as a airborn infantry man i think this list is pretty damn good.. think of the zombies as unarmed terroist they have one attack, biting.. their strategy is hording…
Fist thing you need to do is deff get your shit togehter.. you need to get supplies and weapons.. dont grab a weapon that you dont know how to skillfully use youll just end up getting eaten and getting your tight group you have killed… pistols are the best of the best in close quarters or a shot gun ( not a pump shoty!!) and take a hack saw and cut that damn barrel off but be ready to handel the kick… you have to destroy the brain so its always a good idea to keep a pair of brass knuckles on hand as a last resort… get a radio period! it can give you vital information or find survivors that are barricaded in or vice versa…
Find a building that has tons of floors and if so one on a hill.. make sure once your in and you barricade each floor as you go up you have a way to get down… now common sense says grab all the shit you need are your way to this building.. grab pleanty of ammo, food, rope, and what ever at this time seems fit. Lights lots and lots of lights flash lights spot lights hell even christmas light so when choppers fly over they deff see you..as for the power get batteries and generators along the way…
as far as taking survivors in just do it.. its the right thing to do. but at the same time let them know your running the show and if they dont like it they can keep moving… if they are bitin shot on site dont no time for talking about it.. and just wait it out.. the reason i say get as high as you can is so you can over look the town/city.. as well as it would take zombies a long time to get to you if you have the stairwell barcaided.. walkie talkies are a deff.. incase you have to split up for some reason.. cause at some point and time your group of people will have to venture out for supplies…
a farm house is bad news.. you and every other shit head are gonna be doing the same thing what happens if you find one and theres crazy rednecks in there and they just shoot you because your invading their country ways lol…
as far as cars go.. trust me there will be plenty of humvees left about from the retreating army.. bullet proff glass and body. pretty much unstopable against an enemy with no weapons.. run on desiel hard to get a flat and can go any where.. can hold 4 people securly and ammple ammount of supplies… this is where radios come in handy to comunicate back and forth to the other car… i can ramble on all day but this is good enough….
DONT BE A FUCKING HERO!!!
They always DIE!!!
January 29th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
When they come, I’m gettin’ some guns, alot of ammo, and some of my friends and headin’ to Siberia!
January 30th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
THAT was awsome!
January 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
sweet riminds me of 28 weeks later!!!!!!!!!!!
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
nicely done…. you forgot to add that when the dust settles from the initial outbreaks, we need to get back to police stations and nat’l guard armories to look for more supplies and survivors.
February 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
CRUZDA3…… i didnt feel i had to put that in my passage.. thats kind of common sense.. but the national guards supplies are limited.. look for an actual active duty post.. there you will find choppers,tanks,mortors,rifles,machine guns,humvess,javilen missel sysmtems,AT4 shoulder fire rockets, body armor, MREs, drinks, food, hell almost all post have a shopping mall. your best bet would be to head straight for Fort Benning Georgia.. its the home of the infanty,greenberets training, ranger training, airborn training, which means lots of firepower.. and since it is the home of the infantry they will have plenty of Armored Personel Carriers(APC) Bradlys and Strykers. and well its the active duty im sure there will be some of us still alive in there some where so dont go raging in there stealing everything check the surroundings buildings and what not.. if theres soldiers still alive in there trust they will let you know. if you just charge in and start looting there gonna shoot you!!! let me say this again. THEY WILL SHOOT YOU!!!!!! your best bet for a nice convoy of vehicals to grab would be a few humvees to carry all your supplies, enough strykers that incase you run into a hord of zombies everyone that is with you can pile into the stryker APC and be safe from attack..and well if you wanna stick around long enough to figure out how to drive a bradly APC be my guest..there will tanker trucks full of gas on the base read signs and find a map fort benning is huge it has its on interstate within… you can eaither stay on that base or leave.. i would stay for a week or so and get your crew under control have a few nice meals and get some good rest but i wouldnt stay there forever….
February 9th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
uhm, dont the green berets (SF) train at jfk special warfare school in bragg? and isnt all ammo locked up under guard at ASP’s? i know you can just stoll on ft benning because it doesnt have guarded gates (patrolled by mp’s and gs cops), but you cant just go taking stuff.
February 12th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
We are going to pay for our sins Stop sining plese!!or the dead will return to us. The end of the world is…..lol lol
February 13th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
well no shit.. thats why if you read what i said Jim i said dont just run up in there and start taking shit because if theres still troops alive they will kill you…
February 14th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
i was correcting you on the location of the operators and the fact that you contradicted yourself on going onto the base in the first place, goofball.
February 15th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
how did i contradict myself? by saying go on to the baase and dont start stealing shit right away look around for people?
February 20th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
uhm, here:
look for an actual active duty post.. there you will find choppers,tanks,mortors,rifles,machine guns,humvess,javilen missel sysmtems,AT4 shoulder fire rockets, body armor, MREs, drinks, food, hell almost all post have a shopping mall. your best bet would be to head straight for Fort Benning Georgia
contradicting this:
there will be some of us still alive in there some where so dont go raging in there stealing everything check the surroundings buildings and what not.. if theres soldiers still alive in there trust they will let you know. if you just charge in and start looting there gonna shoot you!!! let me say this again. THEY WILL SHOOT YOU!!!!!!
contradicting this:
your best bet for a nice convoy of vehicals to grab would be a few humvees to carry all your supplies, enough strykers that incase you run into a hord of zombies everyone that is with you can pile into the stryker APC and be safe from attack..
that is all i was saying
February 24th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Another thing is it tend to help if u have a dog around they can hear better than you can for one and to there less likly to becom infected or at least in modern beleaf they r less likley to….sec dont be stupid and chase the dog through a fucking pack of them like the old lady in dead rising fucking stupid b*&^H fed everything up stay calm slap some sense into hysterical comrades always travel in groups you should be fine as long as it isnt 28 weeks later wich might i add arent zombies zombies cant starve to death they r already dead. but if the super rabies stupified humans come every man for them self other wise plz travel in groups and let ppl know ur not a zombie
March 18th, 2009 at 5:25 am
Helmet , Knee Elbow pad , Safety shoes,
Some food & water , Reverse_Osmosis(RO) water_filtration siphon_type.
Survival knife,
Samurai for last_act when get_cornered,
Fireman Axe (key for in/out every building),
Revolver & Auto handgun,
Caltech/Steyr/etc ‘bullpup Rifle’ using shortest_barrel + 1 extra long_barrel for sniping.
All gun using NATO caliber.
2 type silencer:
a. Moderate (projectile at full_power)
b. Total silence (reduced projectile_power).
Go to:
Gunboat.
That has landing_pad big_enough for Chinook/Osprey/Harrier.
That has RO_unit & Solar_panel.
That has energy_weapon, ex: Latest_prototype mounted Laser_canon (optional).
March 19th, 2009 at 6:30 am
good ideas every one but seriosly if the zombies are 28 weeks later or left 4 dead style wer all fucked if u havnt played l4d i seriosly sugest it its supa fun and the tanks scare the shit outa me o.Olol and riding a bike might work but i dont think u can run a zombue over it and i doubt id use my sk8board unless i was bored and was in like a castle or some thing to keep my moral up =] and i want all those guns!!! all we got at my house is hunting rifles shotguns and pisttols -___- and lots of amo =D
March 21st, 2009 at 3:47 am
Hunting rifle is good rifle to snipe from long distance.
Shotgun r great for short distance.
But for zombie situation, U’r pistol is a life line if U have almost unlimited magazine & know how to fast loading without looking at U’r gun.
I bet U will survive.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:19 am
thankyou so much for the tips for the future. once this happens i will be more prepared and i will have great confidence in my survival. right now im just waiting for this thang to happen. peace
March 27th, 2009 at 10:51 am
I don’t think it is a good idea to use fire… as it might get out of control and burn down ur safe haven… as well as smoke u out in to the hordes of zombies.
Duct tape ur clothes.. even the jeans lol.. jeans can rip.. ask someone that has been attacked by a wild animal… leather is good.. but, I think it would be hard to move around in .. not too mention hot and uncomfortable.
motor bikes are better than cars .. easier on gas and easier to manouver.
I would break into a Costco.. and baracade .. I wont be telling many ppl to go there.. but, I would have my laptop for communication besides the info on net will be ,,, will be very useful.
The best location to get to.. if u are near ocean and can get a boat.. oil rig setups in ocean… they would have electricity back ups and plenty of water and food… they will be the place that most governments around the world would go to eventually.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:18 am
and yea motercycles are good for travaling in cus u can still run zombies over and its easy to manuver but yea whatever gun u use make shur you are good with that gun if you are used to shooting 9mm i definatly wouldnt pick upa desert egal but as with me i do realy good with the mini 14 and the 12 guage and 9mm wer as my dad he uses a 44mag and sks and prety much any gun we have haha but yea we gota lot if guns
i wana get a colt 45 tho -__-
March 30th, 2009 at 11:43 am
lol sk8r… I am not a gun person… so I will stick to someone like u… I will be the ninja of the bunch… carry lots of them stars and a sharp light sword
as I will be carrying too much other essentials.. 
March 31st, 2009 at 8:34 am
hahaha as long as u carry the suplies im cool XD just make shhur u were some sortof a mask so the blood dosnt get in ur eyes haha ^_^ and i dont think thos ninja stars will work to well…… i have throwing nives tho
haha
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
ok 2 things you should change is get armor and search for survivors. ok lemme explain why, armors are rather heavy and will drop your running speed and performance, if you want to go with armor then fine but try not to go too heavy because you’re gonna run out of stamina with those things still chasing you. For the survivor part you can change it to a limited party size of about 3-6 because if you have a large group of peoples following you the higher the chance of someone getting bite and infecting everyone else
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
my recommendation is to go and learn how to farm so when canned food is getting really low you can just farm your own food and farms will be a nice place as it is open field and allows you to spot zombies
April 6th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
BAD LIST READ THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR REAL TIPS!!! THESE WILL GET YOU KILLED!!!!
April 9th, 2009 at 8:44 am
raden have u played left 4 dead? u know blood harvest? yea you cant see shit in the feilds if you are gona farm have a small green house not corn or so forth but you can grow tomatoes peas and many other things in a green house and if you have enugh time u can even attatch it to your house so u dont have to venture outside honestly i think zombies + corn feild would be a very very bad thing lol also i agree with you armor is cumberson and almost poitless because they might be able to bite thrugh it any way the main point is mobility u need to be able to move if you lose mobility you end up dead X.X
April 9th, 2009 at 8:48 am
sk8r lol… saw so many thrillers with corn fields .. I agree .. not a very good idea
April 11th, 2009 at 7:21 am
looser,
the ZSG isnt the be all end all for zombies. it has some good ideas, some bad. it should NOT be gospel. remember Z day hasnt happened YET. we dont know if they will be fast or slow zombies, much less how they create more zombies. or if even a head shot is the cure. look at night of the living dead. even with the head removed, they were still able to attack. gotta leave the possibilities open.
April 12th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Exhauster. The principle for a gun-silencer is the same principle for car muffler. It’s possible to have a gas engine as silence as an elctric car.
U just have to install a huge muffler & modify U’r engine room.
Caliber. An M-16 rifle using 5.56 mm bullets.
I don’t see a problem with these. Do U ?
Why do U have to use a higher caliber to neutralize zombiez ?
Armour. If U r rich , U can have very light-weight titanium plate-armour.
Just 1 mm of this plate is enough.
The main problem is . . . money.
——————————–
Zombie or no zombie, I’m planning to have this titanium plate armour.
April 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
goreegal thanks for agreeing with me im glad some one is smart ^_^ mite just take u with me haha and yea no one will know wat the zombies are like jim hell they could all be difrent from slow to fast 28 weeks later or left 4 dead style and they could also evolve such as in left 4 dead smokers tanks boomers so forth another thing we wont know is how they detect us…. they might not even be atracted to sound they might have thermal vision for all wen know soo its good to keep alot of plan B’s lol not bull shit B XD also a silencer on a gun reduces the speed and the damage of a bullet might wana think about that befor puting one on ur gun
April 16th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Well I think If this happens we all should get up on roofs and start picking them off from there. If we have a good view of them all we can start knocking them off, but when we run out if ammunition,were definitely in trouble…
April 16th, 2009 at 6:56 am
ahhh its fun to role play… but no matter how u think u might do.. u will always come against some problems.
Jayhawk
if u live in a small town..and in that town its the norm and/or legal to have an arsenol of weapons in ur home… that wouldn’t be such a bad idea… just to sit on roof and ping them off one by one.. but, the reality of it… most ppl do not own guns and if they do.. might be a couple hunting rifles and/or a crossbow… maybe a small hand gun for their personal saftey. I don’t know any place near by that sells gun accept for some outdoors sports stores.. and they are scattered in distance in my city. In canada ..we have stricter laws about weapons. Even if u got into one of them shops during an outbreak… the weapons of choice will all be locked and secure.. be wasting too much time and effort to even get one.
Best to get to less populated areas… the oil rig in the ocean or very cold climates like canada in the winter
If u are in home and surrounded… best to do is wait it out in an attic if u have one… bring plenty of food… fill up as many garbage bags with water and bring some extra for waste management…then all u can do is pray.
I read on net somewhere that there will be 28 months later movie (release date this year.. who knows
)… the zombie will reach up to Russia.
Ever wonder what the cold temperatures would do to a zombie. What ever is running through their brains and/or veins would eventually freeze up.. immobilizing them.
Best to get to less populated areas like the wildreness… the oil rig in the ocean or very cold climates like canada in the winter
April 21st, 2009 at 6:38 am
goreegal nice thinking and yea i herd about 28 months laterto
but yea first thing you need to do is get out of the city because they might bomb it to hell >.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:05 am
and u live in canada? lol i live in colorado haha in a small ass town -_- but yea it wouldnt be the best idea to stay up ona roof because they might be able to jump up and climb and so forth such as the hunters from l4d lol
hate those fucking basterds
April 24th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
nr 4 is wrong, if u live in a big city, wait 1 week before leaving. Else the roads will be so crowded that 1 man bitten in the middle of that will kill LOTS of people, in the 1 week u wait it is easy to gather supplies in the meantime.
Also dont use automatic, only way to kill zombies is killing the brain, its a waste of bullets, 100 bullets per zombie isnt worth it.
Also only look for survivors if u are not more than 2 people, and no, its not safety in numbers, 50 people will attrack 1000 zombies. A group of 5 mayb 7 is good.
Else it was good tips.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
well if that is some what of a good idea staying for a week but the goverrnment might be nuking the city….. soooooooooo if there are back roads or so forth take thos instead of the high ways and if you have a m16 it has 3 round burst or semi auto in fact most auto guns have those 2 difrent actions but the zombie survival guide has some very good ideas i read half of it but u cant just assume zombies will be head shots they could be left 4 dead style or 28 weeks later or the normal slow zombies so keep your mind open on that and probly the bigest group u should have is about 10 or soo ny more might be a hastle
April 28th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Ideally, you should get a few trucks full of construction material, canned food, weapons and what not, and head for some badass castle where you can seal yourself in. Vehicles and anything mechanics will eventually wear down, and so will the roads. You will at some point run out of fuel and gas. Medications will expire. Food will perish. You will have to create a sustainable environment, ie: growing vegetables and raising a few animals. Even more important, the place has to have access to drinking water! As for other humans, the golden rule is always valid: fear not the dead, do fear the alive
happy surviving
April 28th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
dude where are u gona find a castle >.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
cus honestly i think thers maby one castl in colorado and some crazy guy and his fam live there and its pretty crappy it honestly looks like a pot head made it hahaha but idk there isnt realy many castle in the united states if you are in britan or eroup yes thats a very good idea other than that best idea is to keep moving and stay outa citys
April 29th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
doh my comment disappeared
as I previously wrote (maybe a zombie ate that post), yes I live in Europe we have am amazing amount of castles here, the best ones are on top of rocky hills, with meters-thick walls. But a long term scenario would look pretty sad and doomed regardless. Without medicines, even catching a cold could be fatal etc…
April 29th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
yes well i live in a hick town in colorado hahahahaha lmao but yea thers lots of red necks and such im like maby the one sk8r out here but my fam has lots of guns and stuff and ive already made a plan i just need a auto gun =[ all we got is semi aoutos rifles so forth i think we got 2 sks one mini 14 a couple mosin nagaunts um few shotguns lots of pistols and so forth so yea im like the only crazy one in my famly that belives that zombies are gona happen XD but i will be the one to survive muahahaha welll along with janessa
im bringing her with lol
April 29th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
but yea a castle would e a good idea for a while but after a while u would need to go out
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
This list is awsome. Will work in any zombie survival
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
well u couldnt say any zombie survival it is a very good list i will say that but main thing u need to reli on is your brain allwayse use your brain
May 9th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
This is how it is done, I will talk slow so you retards can understand me. me take shotgun and shotgun ammo. me put food, gas, guns, water, and stuff in SUV. me drive to boondocks with SUV and when me see zombie, me take shotgun and no more zombie. me find farm, me make doors and windows no worky no more with metal, wood and screws. me eat food and play target practice with zombie until over. that is what me do, k?
May 10th, 2009 at 11:37 am
LOL Zak Killer, would you mind elaborate on what you’re gonna do, after you drank the six bottles of water and the carton of tv-dinners that would fit in yor SUV? ahahahahahahah!
May 13th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I think the best way is just to go out to sea on a nice boat..maybe a yacht. Store up on food and meds but not much on guns since you don’t need to kill zombies anyway. If you can survive like kevin costner did in waterworld i think you’d be fine. Ofcourse you need to learn to fish just in case food supply goes low. With all that,just wait for the all the zombies to die out.
May 13th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
shotguns and revovers for weapons. alot of games just have you reload clips, but when caught in the action how many preloaded clips do you have laying around. shotguns and revolvers require only single bullets to be loaded, not clips which you will rarely find laying around. shotgun shells are much easier to find and reload
May 15th, 2009 at 3:20 am
Providing they are not smartypants I Am Legend zombies a medium or large ship would make a good hide out, alongside or at anchorage. Best if theres no crew left (Only maybe, as a sane and well adjusted engineer would make life much easier) and has large freeboard (Distance between the water and the lowest continuous deck level). Sexy zombies could be netted onboard as required.
May 15th, 2009 at 7:09 am
hey haha i though this poll was dead haha but i am legend are not zombies
they only go out at night # 1
# 2 he sprays his apartment with garlic
they are vampz
May 15th, 2009 at 7:40 am
this poll is undead
it’s here for good ahah
May 15th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Btw I think the best kind of zombies are those of REC
fast, smart, crazy, no fear of light/garlic/whatever and they would even use tools! when the shits hits the fan biiig time!
May 15th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
dontbiteme… have you ever seen an SUV. I could probably fit about 50 gallons of water, 3 weeks worth of food, 500 shotgun shells, a shotgun, all the barricade materials I wanted on top and probably arount 2 tanks worth of gas in my SUV… not to mention There is a trailer attacment in the back. so stop acting like a moron you stupid hippie, I probably have 100 times the needed experience than you do
May 16th, 2009 at 12:36 am
zack killer, you are so stupid I bet you would never make to your suv, you will be amongst the first batch of idiots who would fall and get turned, chances are you’re not gonna go much far even as a zombie cause someone would take you down sooner than you know
May 16th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Hey a******, you probably dont even know how to shoot a gun. I have shot literly over 1500 rounds of… all gauges of shotgun, 15 different types of rifles, 20 types of handgun, ak-47, M4AI, and even uzis, and have 10 guns in my house, yea i will be the first one to get run down.
May 16th, 2009 at 10:02 am
You guys are arguing over who would survive in a zombie invasion…you’re cool…. and stop bragging about how many guns you’ve shot, I’ve probably shot twice as much as you ever will, my life is guns. SO just end the stupid nerd argument that will never be resolved and get on with your pathetic lives
May 16th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Sk8termike, he sprays his apartment with vinegar to get rid of the smell moron… and zombies aren’t the ones scared of garlic anyway, vampires are… neither of which exist!
May 16th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Wilson, the only reason you would be saying that is because you are a stupid hippie that has never shot a gun and cant tell the difference between your a** and a hole in the ground
May 16th, 2009 at 10:17 am
So your saying that I said I have shot more guns than you because I haven’t shot more guns than you? And why should I believe YOU even know what a gun is? you’re probably a 13 year old child in his room with your mommy downstairs making you a grilled cheese sandwich while she shelters you from the world
May 16th, 2009 at 10:24 am
A gun is a weapon consisting of a metal tube, with mechanical attachments, from which projectiles are shot by the force of gunpowder or a other type of ordanance. My job is that work for the NRA so you think I dontknow what a gun is?
May 16th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
My point is, you’re bragging to a bunch of nerds on their computers who believe in zombies and who believe they are able to survive, so what are you trying to prove?
May 16th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Oh, sorry, I thought you were one of the morons on here that couldnt run a mile if their life depended on it
May 16th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Actually, I’m on varsity cross country… no joke
May 16th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
really, oh well, sorry again
May 16th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
uhm wilson fucking serios? lol dude i said that the ones in i am legend arnt vamps didnt i jessus man u need to calm down and all of u! dont fight over the inter net its just like the special olympics no mater who wins u all end up freaking retarted
May 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Haha, thanks for this list!
!
This is ridiculous but zombies attacking is my biggest fear in the world, ever! Now I know what to do
argh, can you imagine if it actually happened?!
May 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
266. Brogan: My sister and I actually had a rational (as it can be) discussion on that very subject. We had just finished watching “Dawn of the Dead” (new one) and we went to lunch after. We sat in silence for most of the meal. Suddenly, she asked me “What would you do it that happened?”. That’s all it took to start a debate that lasted about 2 weeks. It was fun. We mapped out what we would do, what we would pack, take, food needed, places to go…everything. It was a like a big game.
May 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Haha, I can’t even contemplate it in my head.
I think I would have to kill myself before they got to me!
I havn’t actually seen Dawn of the Dead but have you seen Shaun of the Dead?
The part where they walk through the crowd of zombies pretending to be them freaks me out!
Where did people get the idea of zombies from?
Is it from voodoo or something?
May 26th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
A(H1N1)
can this represent any important thing inside this issue?
better to be prepared for.
June 6th, 2009 at 11:55 am
hheeelllloooooooooo
June 7th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Personally, I love how serious everyone gets over this type of list. Y’know where they go into immense detail about whats wrong with the survival tips and what you should do instead.. But yeah, screw looking for survivors, every man/woman for themselves!
& the body armour looks like a slightly less gay version of Batman’s XD
Great lists. Keeping me and my insomniac friend occupied
x
June 10th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
great ideas!! i would recommend using a tank or monster truck as a vehicle. no better way to mow down zombies than with a tank or monster truck!
June 12th, 2009 at 11:49 am
maybe you can use fresh meat as bait and get all zombies together in a huge stadium and then blow/burn/destroy the whole place
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I always thought the military or the police would be your best bet but in every movie either they are killed first(resident evil 2) or there trying tp keep things under wraps ( also resident evil 2) i’m mean if the time comes will the law become are enemy as well as the zombies just wondering
June 28th, 2009 at 12:38 am
get real as if there would evr be zombies but it would be cool
July 15th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Me and my friend were having a conversation about this today that is how I stumbled across this list. We have always been avid watchers of ALL zombie films as we feel one day this really will happen especially with all of the viruses that are mutating. The question is once you have your family, guns, supplies where is the safest place to go really??? You could go to the country but you are far from everything so incase of needing more supplies it could be impossile but on the other hand a big city will be infested. Should you go Resident Evil and stay on the move??? Petrol stations are usually equipped with at least 6 months worth of fuel so you could keep going.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:30 am
A Human is like a hardy cockroach. they will survive. that’s what a viral organism does.
August 5th, 2009 at 2:00 am
If my town is attacked by those guys? Easy-peasy. Lock up the house, grab a gun (knife, too), load up on the karate (and stuff) and start defending.
August 6th, 2009 at 4:33 am
being a soldier in the US Infantry will give me the advantage to an array of skills on survival. i practice with melee weapons like sledgehammers, hatchets, and shovels, just so i know how to use one properly when the time comes to kill some zombies.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
humm…. i mite be wrong but wouldnt it be smart to immidiatly go to “area 51″? i mean ikno its like so super secret. but if you manage to get into “area 51″ alive an tell someone theres zombies im sure they have some super secret wepon (besides nuclear attacks, and massive guns) to take care of a issue like that. “area 51″ is like invinsible. if you can get in there and the people in there dont kill you, then you should deffinatly be protected from zombies.
August 28th, 2009 at 2:50 am
area 51 will already know about the zombies… and their not just gonna let someone in from the surface into their secure area just to tell them zombies are attacking. they dont give a shit about anyone who isnt inside of their base. so you should just go find somewhere else to live.
September 8th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Would love to talk about zombies
add me
dinoboy677@hotmail.com
September 14th, 2009 at 5:35 am
This is why i love Listverse. 282 comments about an article clearly meant to be humorous.
BTW the best way to survive: get on an aircraft carrier.
September 14th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Preferably one that doesnt have any zombies
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm
One of the basic zombie survival tips: immediately shoot any person around u who gets beaten. I don’t CARE that its your mom ok? She’s as good as dead. So no need to let this person stay alive so they can become one more zombie that u have to get rid of.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I mean bitten. Not beaten. Sheesh. What’s wrong with me?
October 4th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I think the First weapon should be a good machete or a pair of swords (go to a Route 99 store at any mall). then Get 2 pistols and a backpack full of loading cartredges.
Weapons are heavy, bullets go out fast!!! you might want to have sharp weapons as swords and machetes before any gun.
October 12th, 2009 at 11:57 am
leave town?
every person within town will be trying to leave town. they are also the supply hubs of the country. unless you happen to live in an area where there is a very quick easy escape, the whole leaving thing should happen after the rest of the people die trying. unless you got super agro zombies, i would suggest gong to the heart of downtown, not the freeways or side roads. there will be very few people downtown.
look for survivors?
the biggest threat at that point will be the survivors. look at any mass disaster. do not trust too many people, perhaps 1 or 2 until you can eradicate the threat (which with 6.8 billion people will take untill you and a couple hundred other generations [should you be so lucky] are long gone if you are very good at killing.) trust no one, even those you are with, in the end and as proven they will choose them over you.
October 13th, 2009 at 8:04 am
I think non-survivors pets would make good bait, such as a small dog or something. This might sound barbaric but in a zombie attack, you need everything you can to survive it. If you place a few pets in front of zombies, they could get distracted, and you can get the hell out of there!
October 13th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Also, like some people have said, guns need bullets and guns need to be reloaded, who has time for that? I’d bring guns and blades/machetes, because they can be used anytime and do not need to be reloaded.
October 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am
You can find more survival tips at http://www.lostzombies.com
October 24th, 2009 at 10:48 am
that list is cool and strang.if you think zombies arnt reel then scrue you loser
October 24th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I think I saw the book they riped off in books a million.It is a funny book and I loved it so much.
October 24th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
honestly you should only use guns when absolutly nessacary. Blades Are SOOOO much better and are some times light weight and portable. cars should only be used to get far away. bikes should be used if you are goin a really short distance and if you can move fast. allways have a back pack so you can have your blade and some water. dont hide in a grocerie store the meat and fresh produce will go bad and smell horrid. and dont hide in walmart. too many enterences. me and my friend decided we are goin to rob walmart get as many supplies as possible then go to bass pro shop get more supplies (A.K.A Blades, armour, Guns, Bullets). Dont Bring Pets, a dog or cat would eat something with the virus and bite you. other animals would just slow you down in the long run.
October 27th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
dude i can not wait for z day good list man
October 27th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
i think the best idea i to ignore zombies like pissed of hobos who yell at you for glancing at them in the street, its like last night i was walking past the morgue at my work and i could hear loud noises comming from inside eventhough no one was in there so it had to be zombies and i ignored them and im still alive but yeah i would probably mount a machine gun to the roof of my car
October 29th, 2009 at 10:42 am
This list is the best one yet i would try to find a tank
or a bus and use that and put a plow to front of it but thats just me. :}
good job
November 4th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Great list! If you watch the movie: ZombieLand, it has some scattered rules the main protagonist demonstrates. Funny and helpful! Rule #1 : Cardio. “The fat are the first to die” Sad, but true.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Hmm, i wonder if birds will be turned into zombies cause if they are then we’ll have to deal with zombie chickens!!! GASP!!!
December 7th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
dam everybody talks like this is reall do you guys really believein this stuff???
December 10th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
actually a lot of people do believe it may happen
December 15th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
How would a actual full knight armor work out? Bet that zombies don’t have strong enough teeth to actually bite trough that? Not that I’m saying regular armor won’t work, but isn’t knight armor more hardened? u will be slow, but less chances of getting a rift in it? right? U could say that it’s perfect if you get pounced down by a zombie, and lying helpless on the ground. pretty horrifying though.
December 28th, 2009 at 4:33 am
ok so i didnt read all the post but guide sucks im ready for wwz. plans made friends and family know where to meet. we hold group discussions about it atleast once a month. and i also saw that you said dogs are a bad idea, animals could not get the virus. first off they would run and secondly how many human base virusis do animals get. so dogs would be better to have then pots and cans. i could shoot holes in this guide all night but i got to do some more reserch on the mayan calender for 2012. (i know i cant spell so dont say anything about that)
January 4th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
So here’s the one problem I see with this..Having a good car/SUV/Truck/Semi-whatever does no good when most gas stations around have to have someone inside the gas station pressing a button for them to work.
Where I live you have to prepay for gas, so you have to have the cashier inside press some button or type in some passcode to activate the pumps.
So you can’t just go around stealing gas when the zombies take over.
January 4th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Other than that gas dilema, This is an amazing list.
January 7th, 2010 at 8:44 am
im gona have an armerd up truck or rv they dont go as fast but i am going to put attachments on the top like a minigun or flame thrower z-day will never know what hit it i’ll search for survivers and when i find them we’ll start repopulating the human race when zombies take over you should inform your family the odds are some will stand and fight and conquer z-day on your side others are ought not to believe you i aint gona die by being eatin by mindless beasts
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:24 am
how foolish the goats buy into this brainwashing hogwash. dont you know that hollywood is referring to you as zombies. imagine a biological outbreak, and you are the infected dummy that needs to be shot.