[WARNING]: This list contains adult content] Here is one for the girls – next time some sleaze tries to pick you up with one of these ridiculous pick up lines, you will have some ammo to fight back! Top 10 pick up line rejections:
Pickup Lines 1-5
Man: “Hi, I’m a millionaire!”
Woman: “Hi, I work for the IRS.”
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.
Pickup Lines 6-10
Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!
Woman: Yeah! To pick up some chicks!
Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
Man: I’d like to call you. What’s your number?
Woman: It’s in the phone book.
Man: But I don’t know your name.
Woman: That’s in the phone book too.
Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there..”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”
But wait – something for the boys
You didn’t think you would get away that easily did you ladies? Here are 7 rebuttals for the boys.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you’re a fat skank.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you’d be on your knees greeting my crotch.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I’m done sleeping with you in the back of my car, I don’t give a crap where you go.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always withdraw onto your face.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.
Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me… as long as you’re still warm when I do you.
No FP – I beat you all to it! I have wanted to post this list for ages
That is so funny…But you have a repeat with exception to one word.
“I’d really like to get into your pants”
#4-No thanks. There’s already one ass in there.
#9-No thanks. There’s already one ***** in there.”
Oops – thanks Ravyn: corrected
is it me or do the guy rebuttals just make thems eem like more of an *****? I suppose after getting rejected like that, one can only turn to the ***** side.
but i love this one:
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.
haha juggz: you picked my favorite
Do guys really use pick up lines like this in earnest?
Great list, made me laugh.
aplspud: I know I never have.
aplspud: not me – my astoundingly great personality is sufficient.
J – ROFLMAO!
all of those were terrible guess the writers strike really took its toll
Once I was in a bar with my hubby, and some guy came and sat right next to me, looked at my husband, and asked me if I wanted to go home with a real man. I then said “do you want to go home with a black eye? Because my husband stopped going to his anger management classes.” I thought it was funny, but my hubby didn’t…
Oh dear….reasons 1-10 why I hate bars.
Haha, and those rejection rebuttals really do make the guys seem like huge *****s.
Some were funny. 3 Stars.
ha ha oh i loved the rebuttals
jfrater: I have no doubt
ahahaha, the last one was creepy.
Heard that Courtney Love approached Robbie Williams at a show-biz party and said that she was trying to decide which of the guys to have ***** with, but had rejected him ‘because of…you know…the rock star thing’. His reply allegedly was that he was glad ‘because of the…you know…ugly thing’!
senga15: hah brilliant.
you missed out a few… i remember reading somethin like;
man: “hi, im a photographer, ive been looking for a face like yours…”
woman: “im a plastic surgeon, ive also been looking for a face like yours…”
wow…funny list…man my gender can really be *****s
HAHAHA! Unfertilized eggs in the morning…Hilarious!!!
Woman: OMG you are drunk!
Man: yes, but you are ugly…and I shall be sober in the morning!!
hahaha these are funny.
i worked at mcdonalds in the drive thru so i had jerks hitting on me all the time.
lamest ones i have had:
guy: how much are your sundaes?
me: $1.47
Guy: How much is it for the rest of the week?
Me: the same amount you’d need for an extreme make over.
Guy: Can I have some honey with my food?
Me: Honey muster or honey sauce?
Guy: Not that honey, “your” Honey.
Me: Sorry my honey is a classic delicacy thats not for public tasting.
Guy: Hey can I get a big mac meal and your mcnumber?
Me: sure 1800-taken.
Guy:does that come with your number?
Me: No sorry I am Amish I don’t believe in phones.
Randall: I do believe that was a discussion between Lady Astor and Sir Winston Churchill – he is one of the funniest men ever.
Mizirable: that is brilliant – I love 1800-taken
omg I work at McDonald’s too and I asked one time if they wanted the receipt and he said only if it had my number on it. I told him then he wouldn’t be getting the receipt.
At one time I walked myself right into it. A guy told me that the married life must be great, and I told him I wasn’t married. He then said well then my guy must be very lucky. Retarded me said that I didn’t have a guy either so he said, “Well then I’m Mike. Can I call you sometime?” So I said, “Well I’m Amanda, and that’s a no.” and closed the window on him lol
Girls working Drive-Thrus at any fast food place with male customers just do not mix…lol It gives me a laugh most days though haha
Heh, good stuff. I’ll have to write them down on my palm to see how they work out for me this weekend… I’ll keep you posted
Amanda: hahaha that is hilarious!
Dr FIGJAM: good luck
I can’t wait to see how you go 
lol i know. I’ve had that too.
I had one guy ask for my number cause he had to wait on food that he needed something sweet to cheer him up. I told him sorry we’re out of pie.
and once we were doing a pie selling competition and the winner would get an i pod. I put up a sign at my window saying “buy two pies get a free spiffy flag.” cause we were giving away cunucks flags with the pies. and some guy comes up and hes like weres my free stiffy. I was like what? no it says spiffy not stiffy. he said he’d rather take the stiffy.
eww
Mizirable: hah I can’t believe someone would say that!
haha i use pick-up lines all the time
do they work? no
do they get the girl to giggle… of course
my favorite one to use is the fish story and it goes like this
I went to the BIIIIIIG ocean (stretches arm behind girls head and other out the other way) and caught a little fis (brings fingers together to show size of fish but bringing girl closer to your body at the same time) and its face went like this (pucker and make kissy face to the girl)
I also like to use this one
Guy: hey can you hold something real quick for me
Girl: sure
Guy: thanks (puts hand in the girls hand)
haha casey thats cute…and why don’t they work?
there was a guy that use to have a crush on me at school and he always showed it. he was cute and all but he smelled kinda rank so i never wanted to be around him.
so any ways once he came up to me and he used this one pick up line and i found it hilarious.
he asked me: “if I told you you had a hot body would you hold it against me?”
At first I was like what? and then I got the pun and I decided to let him know why I wouldn’t date him.
“I would normally but I think you have a dead fish in your pants so I think I’ll pass.”
omg casey thats sooooo cute. i dont get why it wouldnt work.
I can’t help but notice that all of the male come-backs are crude. A woman can retort with her brain, but a man has to be a pig? Not one of my favorite lists.
The women’s ones are funny. The men’s are just ribald and mean-spirited.
I don’t use pick up lines any more (married) but one that almost ALWAYS worked for me was to approach a girl from the side and go “Excuse me aren’t you from….. oh, I’m sorry. I’ve mistaken you for somebody else.” This, of course opens the conversation. Then I would say anything along the lines of “There was this really pretty girl that worked at drugstore/gas station/grocery store/music store, or whatever.” So it didn’t matter if they didn’t know who I was referring to (fictitious person) they just knew that I was confusing them with someone that I thought was very attractive, which they found flattering. Door is open.
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
LOL
I’m sorry about the list that is about to follow…
Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?
Hey big-tits – fancy some action? No? Damn, you lesbians are everywhere!
So did you trip over a tree on the way here? No? How about a root?
You look like the kind of girl that could light up the whole room with a smile, like a million watt light bulb. (Wait for her to smile) Hmm.. I was wrong, but that’s OK, candle light is cool.
Excuse me, do you want to dance? No? Then I suppose ***** is out of the question?
I’ve thought you were beautiful since I first saw you through the smoke and haze from the other side of the night-club, now that I’m closer I can see that smoke doesn’t only give you heart disease and lung cancer, it also distorts your vision.
how disrespectfully funny
guy: do you wanna come back to my place for pizza and *****?
girl: ew! no!
guy: what? dont like pizza?
haha
I agree with Kelsey and Brianne. Jfrater it’s not your astonishingly great personality. It’s your astonishing good looks. Who would turn you away?
Hehehe, I’m definitely gonna use a few of these on one of my friends.
Hehehe…
One that I always hate guys using on me ‘cos I can never think of a suitably snarky reply:
“Nice legs… what time do they open?”
Hey Kelsey Brianne and Vera Lynn, you’re looking at it all wrong, a guy makes a good natured joke/pick up line, and you turn around and deliver a low blow that’s way more insulting than it should be! Of course the guy’s gonna be rude, you earned it!
37. devilishgrin66
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
Brilliant! I laughed so hard… that line would have worked on me because I love to laugh!
(Oh, BTW, I’m a female, even though I have a male nickname…)
i think i am going to with that if you said #6 to some guy, you would automatically become the coolest girl he has ever met and wouldn’t leave you alone for the rest of the night.
s00-zie – i love that one… my brothers friend uses it all the time… he usually gets a slap. lol
Best pick up line is: Can I pick you up? (get it? cos its a “pick up” line!! …. it works 80% half of the times)
or
Through a piece of sewing line on the floor next to the girls and say: Hi! This is me picking up a line for you!
or
Guy: Is this the pick up line?
Girl: No
Guy: Can you help me find it?
Girl: No
Guy: Can i put some chalk powder on your body?
Girl: what for?
Guy: So it will be easier for me to pick you up!!
or (my favourite)
have a girl pick you up!!! …in a police station’s rape suspects pick up line!!
the worst one i ever heard was “my love for you is like diroeah. i can’t hold it in”. i didn’t know whether to be offended or not!
Yeah, these are funny, if you live in a trailer park.
Girl wearing very tight trousers standing in a bar.
Guy says “How do you get into those trousers ?”
“You start by buying me a Bacardi”
I once had this guy who kept hitting on me. When he finally asked me out, this went:
Guy: Hey, babe! Wanna have some fun?
Me: Does it involve Hetalia, Star Trek, Danny Phantom, Fairly Odd Parents, Pokemon, Total Drama Action and CSI? (He HATES those things)
Guy: *twitches* Uh…sure…
Later, after we watched a ST:TNG marathon:
Guy: Baby, I wanna get into your pants! Kiss me!
Me: You’re too fat. Plus your lips smell old. Is that a wrinkle on your forehead? (he’s also a stupid egomaniac)
Guy: *runs off*
Me: Finally. *sits back to watch TDA*
Needless to say, he never bothered me again. Last I heard, he transferred schools!
@Trekkerette (51):
here are some jimmy carr advices for you (basic ones)
1) keep it short
2)dont forget the punch line
Another guy hit on me while I was driving today. Here’s how it went:
“Babe, if we were in a garden, I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.”
What I said? “If we were, I’d say thanks. For the flowers.”
A friend of mine asked a girl if he could buy her a drink. She said yes. He then asked her to dance. She said, “Not with you.” He took her drink and walked away.
Lol yeah revenge for the boys. first i thought noooooooooooo then the second i was laughing out loud.
Man: Hey baby, wanna ride in my Camaro?
Woman: Especially not! i have my own Ferrari.
Man: Ok well especially your Ferrari’s a fake plus it’s only plastic.
Woman: How did you know?!
Man: well wanna ride or not?
Woman: Of course!
Man: Shut up (drives away)
In a cinema
Man: Hey can i sit here?
Woman: ew! never or else ill go!
Man: Where? to the bathroom and have ***** with me?
Woma: Um well maybe, Yeah
Man: ok, just wanna watch the movie.
hilarious. really. making me laugh is a tick in the box for the guy. but sometimes pick up lines are just cringe worthy! haha….
“Something for the boys?”
Equal time is good, but they were not clever at all.
You guys can do better than that!
Here’s another amusing list of hundreds i tohught id share:
http://www.whatpoll.com/funny-pick-up-lines
Enjoy
Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!
Woman: Yeah! To pick up some chicks!
i love that one, must remember to use it sometime
Funny how the ones for girls are witty rebuttals while those for the guys are down right misogynistic insults.