Subscribe to ListverseTop 10 Pick Up Line Rejections
- Published November 17, 2007 - 59 Comments
[WARNING]: This list contains adult content] Here is one for the girls – next time some sleaze tries to pick you up with one of these ridiculous pick up lines, you will have some ammo to fight back! Top 10 pick up line rejections:
Pickup Lines 1-5
Man: “Hi, I’m a millionaire!”
Woman: “Hi, I work for the IRS.”
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.
Pickup Lines 6-10
Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!
Woman: Yeah! To pick up some chicks!
Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
Man: I’d like to call you. What’s your number?
Woman: It’s in the phone book.
Man: But I don’t know your name.
Woman: That’s in the phone book too.
Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there..”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”
But wait – something for the boys
You didn’t think you would get away that easily did you ladies? Here are 7 rebuttals for the boys.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you’re a fat skank.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you’d be on your knees greeting my crotch.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I’m done sleeping with you in the back of my car, I don’t give a crap where you go.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always withdraw onto your face.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.
Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me… as long as you’re still warm when I do you.
November 17th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
No FP – I beat you all to it! I have wanted to post this list for ages
November 17th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
That is so funny…But you have a repeat with exception to one word.
“I’d really like to get into your pants”
#4-No thanks. There’s already one ass in there.
#9-No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”
November 17th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Oops – thanks Ravyn: corrected
November 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
is it me or do the guy rebuttals just make thems eem like more of an asshole? I suppose after getting rejected like that, one can only turn to the asshole side.
but i love this one:
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: No!
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.
November 17th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
haha juggz: you picked my favorite
November 17th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Do guys really use pick up lines like this in earnest?
Great list, made me laugh.
November 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
aplspud: I know I never have.
November 17th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
aplspud: not me – my astoundingly great personality is sufficient.
November 17th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
J – ROFLMAO!
November 17th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
all of those were terrible guess the writers strike really took its toll
November 17th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Once I was in a bar with my hubby, and some guy came and sat right next to me, looked at my husband, and asked me if I wanted to go home with a real man. I then said “do you want to go home with a black eye? Because my husband stopped going to his anger management classes.” I thought it was funny, but my hubby didn’t…
November 17th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Oh dear….reasons 1-10 why I hate bars.
Haha, and those rejection rebuttals really do make the guys seem like huge assholes.
November 17th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Some were funny. 3 Stars.
November 17th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
ha ha oh i loved the rebuttals
November 17th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
jfrater: I have no doubt
November 17th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
ahahaha, the last one was creepy.
November 18th, 2007 at 4:13 am
Heard that Courtney Love approached Robbie Williams at a show-biz party and said that she was trying to decide which of the guys to have sex with, but had rejected him ‘because of…you know…the rock star thing’. His reply allegedly was that he was glad ‘because of the…you know…ugly thing’!
November 18th, 2007 at 5:51 am
senga15: hah brilliant.
November 18th, 2007 at 9:30 am
you missed out a few… i remember reading somethin like;
man: “hi, im a photographer, ive been looking for a face like yours…”
woman: “im a plastic surgeon, ive also been looking for a face like yours…”
November 18th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
wow…funny list…man my gender can really be assholes
November 19th, 2007 at 8:28 am
HAHAHA! Unfertilized eggs in the morning…Hilarious!!!
November 22nd, 2007 at 12:21 am
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you’re a fat skank.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you’d be on your knees greeting my crotch.
…those 2 are just terrific.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:21 am
Woman: OMG you are drunk!
Man: yes, but you are ugly…and I shall be sober in the morning!!
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:35 am
hahaha these are funny.
i worked at mcdonalds in the drive thru so i had jerks hitting on me all the time.
lamest ones i have had:
guy: how much are your sundaes?
me: $1.47
Guy: How much is it for the rest of the week?
Me: the same amount you’d need for an extreme make over.
Guy: Can I have some honey with my food?
Me: Honey muster or honey sauce?
Guy: Not that honey, “your” Honey.
Me: Sorry my honey is a classic delicacy thats not for public tasting.
Guy: Hey can I get a big mac meal and your mcnumber?
Me: sure 1800-taken.
Guy:does that come with your number?
Me: No sorry I am Amish I don’t believe in phones.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:45 am
Randall: I do believe that was a discussion between Lady Astor and Sir Winston Churchill – he is one of the funniest men ever.
Mizirable: that is brilliant – I love 1800-taken
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:28 am
omg I work at McDonald’s too and I asked one time if they wanted the receipt and he said only if it had my number on it. I told him then he wouldn’t be getting the receipt.
At one time I walked myself right into it. A guy told me that the married life must be great, and I told him I wasn’t married. He then said well then my guy must be very lucky. Retarded me said that I didn’t have a guy either so he said, “Well then I’m Mike. Can I call you sometime?” So I said, “Well I’m Amanda, and that’s a no.” and closed the window on him lol
Girls working Drive-Thrus at any fast food place with male customers just do not mix…lol It gives me a laugh most days though haha
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:47 am
Heh, good stuff. I’ll have to write them down on my palm to see how they work out for me this weekend… I’ll keep you posted
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:48 am
Amanda: hahaha that is hilarious!
Dr FIGJAM: good luck
I can’t wait to see how you go 
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
lol i know. I’ve had that too.
I had one guy ask for my number cause he had to wait on food that he needed something sweet to cheer him up. I told him sorry we’re out of pie.
and once we were doing a pie selling competition and the winner would get an i pod. I put up a sign at my window saying “buy two pies get a free spiffy flag.” cause we were giving away cunucks flags with the pies. and some guy comes up and hes like weres my free stiffy. I was like what? no it says spiffy not stiffy. he said he’d rather take the stiffy.
eww
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
Mizirable: hah I can’t believe someone would say that!
November 26th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
haha i use pick-up lines all the time
do they work? no
do they get the girl to giggle… of course
my favorite one to use is the fish story and it goes like this
I went to the BIIIIIIG ocean (stretches arm behind girls head and other out the other way) and caught a little fis (brings fingers together to show size of fish but bringing girl closer to your body at the same time) and its face went like this (pucker and make kissy face to the girl)
I also like to use this one
Guy: hey can you hold something real quick for me
Girl: sure
Guy: thanks (puts hand in the girls hand)
November 27th, 2007 at 5:33 am
haha casey thats cute…and why don’t they work?
there was a guy that use to have a crush on me at school and he always showed it. he was cute and all but he smelled kinda rank so i never wanted to be around him.
so any ways once he came up to me and he used this one pick up line and i found it hilarious.
he asked me: “if I told you you had a hot body would you hold it against me?”
At first I was like what? and then I got the pun and I decided to let him know why I wouldn’t date him.
“I would normally but I think you have a dead fish in your pants so I think I’ll pass.”
December 1st, 2007 at 12:56 am
omg casey thats sooooo cute. i dont get why it wouldnt work.
December 19th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I can’t help but notice that all of the male come-backs are crude. A woman can retort with her brain, but a man has to be a pig? Not one of my favorite lists.
January 1st, 2008 at 1:27 am
The women’s ones are funny. The men’s are just ribald and mean-spirited.
January 26th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I don’t use pick up lines any more (married) but one that almost ALWAYS worked for me was to approach a girl from the side and go “Excuse me aren’t you from….. oh, I’m sorry. I’ve mistaken you for somebody else.” This, of course opens the conversation. Then I would say anything along the lines of “There was this really pretty girl that worked at drugstore/gas station/grocery store/music store, or whatever.” So it didn’t matter if they didn’t know who I was referring to (fictitious person) they just knew that I was confusing them with someone that I thought was very attractive, which they found flattering. Door is open.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:04 am
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
March 9th, 2008 at 2:39 am
I’m sorry about the list that is about to follow…
Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?
Hey big-tits – fancy some action? No? Damn, you lesbians are everywhere!
So did you trip over a tree on the way here? No? How about a root?
You look like the kind of girl that could light up the whole room with a smile, like a million watt light bulb. (Wait for her to smile) Hmm.. I was wrong, but that’s OK, candle light is cool.
Excuse me, do you want to dance? No? Then I suppose sex is out of the question?
I’ve thought you were beautiful since I first saw you through the smoke and haze from the other side of the night-club, now that I’m closer I can see that smoke doesn’t only give you heart disease and lung cancer, it also distorts your vision.
March 25th, 2008 at 5:27 am
guy: do you wanna come back to my place for pizza and sex?
girl: ew! no!
guy: what? dont like pizza?
haha
June 20th, 2008 at 8:23 am
I agree with Kelsey and Brianne. Jfrater it’s not your astonishingly great personality. It’s your astonishing good looks. Who would turn you away?
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Hehehe, I’m definitely gonna use a few of these on one of my friends.
July 28th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Hehehe…
One that I always hate guys using on me ‘cos I can never think of a suitably snarky reply:
“Nice legs… what time do they open?”
November 4th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Hey Kelsey Brianne and Vera Lynn, you’re looking at it all wrong, a guy makes a good natured joke/pick up line, and you turn around and deliver a low blow that’s way more insulting than it should be! Of course the guy’s gonna be rude, you earned it!
January 1st, 2009 at 7:54 pm
37. devilishgrin66
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
Brilliant! I laughed so hard… that line would have worked on me because I love to laugh!
(Oh, BTW, I’m a female, even though I have a male nickname…)
January 23rd, 2009 at 7:27 am
i think i am going to with that if you said #6 to some guy, you would automatically become the coolest girl he has ever met and wouldn’t leave you alone for the rest of the night.
March 15th, 2009 at 11:19 am
s00-zie – i love that one… my brothers friend uses it all the time… he usually gets a slap. lol
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 am
Best pick up line is: Can I pick you up? (get it? cos its a “pick up” line!! …. it works 80% half of the times)
or
Through a piece of sewing line on the floor next to the girls and say: Hi! This is me picking up a line for you!
or
Guy: Is this the pick up line?
Girl: No
Guy: Can you help me find it?
Girl: No
Guy: Can i put some chalk powder on your body?
Girl: what for?
Guy: So it will be easier for me to pick you up!!
or (my favourite)
have a girl pick you up!!! …in a police station’s rape suspects pick up line!!
March 26th, 2009 at 10:47 am
the worst one i ever heard was “my love for you is like diroeah. i can’t hold it in”. i didn’t know whether to be offended or not!
April 9th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Yeah, these are funny, if you live in a trailer park.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Girl wearing very tight trousers standing in a bar.
Guy says “How do you get into those trousers ?”
“You start by buying me a Bacardi”
July 15th, 2009 at 2:28 am
I once had this guy who kept hitting on me. When he finally asked me out, this went:
Guy: Hey, babe! Wanna have some fun?
Me: Does it involve Hetalia, Star Trek, Danny Phantom, Fairly Odd Parents, Pokemon, Total Drama Action and CSI? (He HATES those things)
Guy: *twitches* Uh…sure…
Later, after we watched a ST:TNG marathon:
Guy: Baby, I wanna get into your pants! Kiss me!
Me: You’re too fat. Plus your lips smell old. Is that a wrinkle on your forehead? (he’s also a stupid egomaniac)
Guy: *runs off*
Me: Finally. *sits back to watch TDA*
Needless to say, he never bothered me again. Last I heard, he transferred schools!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
@Trekkerette (51):
here are some jimmy carr advices for you (basic ones)
1) keep it short
2)dont forget the punch line
August 5th, 2009 at 2:17 am
Another guy hit on me while I was driving today. Here’s how it went:
“Babe, if we were in a garden, I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.”
What I said? “If we were, I’d say thanks. For the flowers.”
August 19th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
A friend of mine asked a girl if he could buy her a drink. She said yes. He then asked her to dance. She said, “Not with you.” He took her drink and walked away.
August 29th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Lol yeah revenge for the boys. first i thought noooooooooooo then the second i was laughing out loud.
Man: Hey baby, wanna ride in my Camaro?
Woman: Especially not! i have my own Ferrari.
Man: Ok well especially your Ferrari’s a fake plus it’s only plastic.
Woman: How did you know?!
Man: well wanna ride or not?
Woman: Of course!
Man: Shut up (drives away)
August 29th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
In a cinema
Man: Hey can i sit here?
Woman: ew! never or else ill go!
Man: Where? to the bathroom and have sex with me?
Woma: Um well maybe, Yeah
Man: ok, just wanna watch the movie.
September 17th, 2009 at 3:00 am
hilarious. really. making me laugh is a tick in the box for the guy. but sometimes pick up lines are just cringe worthy! haha….
September 28th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
“Something for the boys?”
Equal time is good, but they were not clever at all.
You guys can do better than that!