In 1988 a cultural phenomenon hit a local TV station called KTMA on Thanksgiving Day that started the snowball effect that would eventually land Mystery Science Theater 3000 into the annals of television history. Created by Joel Hodgson, who would become the shows host, and comedians Trace Beaulieu and Josh Weinstein, and producer Jim Mallon, the show revolved around a man (Joel) trapped in space as a ‘Project’ for evil scientists (Trace and Josh) with no hope of returning home. His controls that would otherwise allow him to maintain a small chunk of independence were instead fashioned into to robot pals called Crow and Tom Servo. The trio, unwilling experiments for the bad doctors, were forced to watch terrible movies thereby allowing themselves to toss one-liners, quips, and elaborate running-gags at the screen. The show became something of an instant success.
Soon, as national cable stations heard of the MST3K exploits, the Comedy Channel picked them up in 1989 and tweaked the show with a slightly bigger budget. Soon, the monster was in motion and it continued on until 1999 changing a few key cast members along the way. Frank Conniff replaced Weinstein as the bumbling assistant to Dr. Forrester (Beaulieu), and Kevin Murphy took over the voicing talents of Tom Servo. Mike Nelson was bumped to head writer and later, half way through the 1993 season on Comedy Central, replaced Joel as host. Eventually the show ended up, and ended their run, on SciFi Channel. Rabid and dedicated fans exist the world over, and I am proud to be one as well as a card-carrying member of the MST3K Fan club. Here are 10 of the best episodes: 5 from Joel, and 5 from Mike.
10. Episode 102: The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy
This features the first episode of the short: Radar Men From The Moon with the joyous Commander Cody. In addition, the feature boasts the ever-popular scientist wanting to gain wealth by stealing from a mummy. His robotic creation is classic!
9. Episode 507: I Accuse My Parents
A troubled youth with disconnected worthless parents finds himself explaining his life story to a judge attempting to prove that he’s innocent. Oh, and everything is his parent’s fault.
8. Episode 702: The Brute Man
Rondo Hatton and a blind lady. Comedy Gold.
7. Episode 303: Pod People
A boy discovers, and, ultimately adopts a giant, strange egg that hatches into what could be a tiny alien elephant he names Trumpy. Wonderful.
6. Episode 1012: Squirm!
The fan favorite A Case of Spring Fever short accompanies this masterpiece of a terrible movie about electrified worms that attack a town, a house, and some people’s faces. Cool!
5. Episode 202: The Sidehackers
This particular episode marks the first and last time the crew didn’t bother to watch the entire movie before hand. In one scene there is a horrible rape and murder not generally found in films like this, and no one even knew until it was too late. Aside from that, very funny indeed!
4. Episode 621: The Beast Of Yucca Flats
Tor Johnson and attempted kidnapping! COMEDY GOLD! No video, but here’s some quotes:
[Tor Johnson] ARRRRRR!
[Mike] They never should have let Tor improv.
[Kid] Thank you, Mr. Franklin.
[Crow] For making us laugh about love again.
[Mike] Benjamin Franklin was tried in the 8th circuit court on stalking charges. In a minute, the results of that trial.
[Servo] Kenneth Branagh’s Mary Shelley’s Bram Stoker’s Wes Craven’s Tim Burton’s Beast of Yucca Flats. A Francis Ford Coppola film.
3. Episode 424: Manos: The Hands of Fate
A Satanic inn run by the masterful Torgo in what may be the worst movie ever made… and yet it is still painfully funny to witness. Go figure!
2. Episode 821: Time Chasers
A Scientist travels through time in his Cessna-time machine… yes, an airplane… to prevent an evil corporation from using said invention in the future. Yeah, it’s pretty confusing and really funny.
1. Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie – This Island Earth
During the seventh season of the show, the crew and Gramercy productions decided to make an actual movie. Some were a tad miffed that they decided to use an actual Sci Fi classic to riff, but most people found it hysterical. I saw it three times on opening day. It’s such a fun movie!
What? No "Puma Man"?? I loved that episode!
Agreed Pumaman is the BEST episode of all! No question!
the best has to be Prince of Space
Naah, overdrawn at the memory bank!
omg i remember this show! wow..good times
Yay, I love Mystery Science Theater! I’ve been looking for a list like this. it makes it so much easier to choose which ones to get from Netflix.
Great list… a while back I heard that the show’s creators were back on TV with a similar format… I saw this announced on the Retrocrush site but now can’t find the link the article: http://retrocrush.buzznet.com/
Mike Nelson’s Torgo’s performance in “Manos: Hand of Fate” should of made this episode #1 on the list. Here is the good news all the original members are back together at this link: http://www.cinematictitanic.com/
Thank you for balancing the Joel/Mike episodes. There seems to be such a divide among Misties, each side claiming one branch is so superior and the others are just crap. Which, to me, is just crap; I loved the Joel episodes, but there were some duds, and many of the Mike episodes were genius, among a few that were not so much. People, the writers were pretty much the same. Can’t we all just get along?
ianrey: that is what the List Universe is all about – balanced views
I must be the only person in the world who couldn’t stand this show.
Yes you are.
ianrey: Funny thing is, I am honestly more of a Mike Nelson fan than a Joel Robinson (Hodgson)mostly because his humor is just that much stupider and I’m a sucker for that. However, that being said, I love more of Joel’s episodes as a whole than Mike’s… go figure? Great show and I appreciate that you like the list!
What no Space Mutiny?
Reb Brown will blow you to Astro-Dust!
Coolness! I’d have put in Eegah!, but these are all great episodes too. Very nicely done.
Eegah was one of my favorites too!! My sisters and I still tell eachother to “watch out for snakes”
Black Lutefisk: of course – what else would you expect from the list universe?
See! THIS is what I love! No verbal lashings, no spoken thrashings (or written, as it were) just tossing out there some more of those wonderful episodes! I’m glad I only chose 10! Keep ‘em coming!
A little sad to see no Space Mutiny on this list, but otherwise great.
Though I would have put Manos higher, if for no other reason than the constantly recurring Torgo character on Deep 13/Satellite of Love.
This brings me back to when I was a kid watching this show… good times.
By the way: If you go to Google video, there are many full length episodes up (including a few on this list) with a stamp on the video saying “MST3K Digital Archive Project” with its user as Best Brains Inc., so is MST3K going public domain?
great list. i have to say “pod people” is probably the best one ever. starts off kind of slow but when they see the red ooze and say “with a name like smuckers…” its nothing but classic
Prince of Space and Red Zone Cuba definitely would have made my top 10 list. These are all great choices as well.
Awesome way to kill time until 5 while I’m supposed to be working.
That is what the site is here for
Fentook: The DAP has been around a great long time, but, except for the release of the few on DVD, some will never see the light of day outside of that site and (as I have done-naughty-) downloads thanks mostly to many of the film production companies not releasing the rights to the movies. DAP is a wonderful source and, if anyone is interested, I have EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. So let me know.
Red Zone Cuba and Cave Dwellers. 2 of the best episodes ever.
But then there really isnt a bad episode of MST3K
“He never fought a puppet this big before”, I love Cave Dwellers/Ator 2
Yet it isn´t Space Mutiny
We need an honorable mention for the school filmstrips that they did. Anyone remember “Mr. B Natural”?
No Mitchell?!!
Wow….I have never even heard of this show. Generation gap? Or is it a European thing?
i hear ya Heather, Mitchell was a classic!
Kelsi: You and Jamie alike. I had to pressure a bit to get this behemoth posted… but I’m glad the comments are flying in! Not European, mostly American
LordCalvert/Heather: Yes, yes, Mitchell… hard to get past that mess. Loved it though!
fyi, Digital archive project started to take the place of tape trading — mostly because tapes degrade and nth generation copies suck. Their goal was to get all of the mst3k out there that you can’t legally buy–They have a whitelisted server that only allows you to share what they’ll allow you to share.
As you may know, Best brains and rhino are still releasing episode sets, but they’ve got around 50 or so released, out of over 200. once they’re announced, the episodes are de-whitelisted, but are sometimes still passed around against the DAP’s wishes.
Also, my additions to the list –
Space Mutiny!
“She’s got an armadillo down her trousers!”
Mitchell!
“Even the name says, is that a beer?”
The beginning of the end!
Mike: Honey, do you think you could keep down
some 7-Up and some crackers?
Crow: …..no….
Mike: Some lukewarm pork?
Crow: *barf*
Mike: I’m sorry!
Puma Man!
“He flies like a moron!”
Girl in the gold boots!
“I’m having critter’s varmint”
Eegah!!
“Are you hurt” “No, I wear this sling for effect, you doorknob”
Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite episodes (and yes, most of them are mike — I’ve seen almost every episode (stupid k00-k02), and I just enjoy the mike episodes better. Probably because I remember more of the pop-culture references from his era.
/Bob
More favorites!!!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
The Day the Earth Froze
The Giant Gila Monster
Attack of the Eye Creatures
Oops – hit the send button before adding that legendary Ed Wood “classic” Bride of the Monster
I must of watched the movie at least 20 times. Even their running commentary o the credits were hilarious.
I am with ChuChu353 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is among my favorites. There is a scene where an old “wise” man was delivering the most boring monologue, and they imitate him saying, “I had jello today!” For some reason, my family found it very funny, and every day for three months we found a place in life to quote it.
I am ridiculously thrilled for cinematictitanic.com … how great is it that the original cast is back at “movie riffing”?!?! They will return to the ‘riffin scene December 7th at I.L.M. for a live show, and shortly thereafter we, the public, will have new Silhouettes-Making-Fun-Of-Bad-Movies awesomeness to laugh with!
MST3K lives on!
This list is an emarassment. It was obviously written by a non-fan, or a fair weather one at best.
Simply put, the best MST3K episode ever was “The Final Sacrifice”. The hero’s name is Zap Rowsdower for cryin’ out loud!
“Nyaahh…peppered eggs!”
Side note: Mike was interviewed on DC101′s Elliot in the Morning yesterday. He’s been working on a thing called Rifftracks. He does new movies like 300, watched them and does his thing. You can buy the track and play it synched with the movies. Not exactly the nuance of MST3K, but it’s better than not having anything at all.
DeadToast: Wow, and hurtful this early in the morning? I’ve been a fan for as long as this show aired and just because my list doesn’t sync up yours doesn’t mean I’m any less of a fan. Hope you liked it!
What no Finnish movies like “The Day The Earth Froze” or “The Sword and the Dragon”? How about Lassie in “The Painted Hills”? Perhaps “Night of the Blood Beast”. So many MST3Ks…so little time.
What? No Gamera?!? Manos is classic – Tarantino owns one of the original prints. I agree Nelson’s take on Torgo is amazing.. still makes me cry with laughter
I’m still a hardcore MiSTee! Use to stay up til 2 am in college just to tape each episode on Comedy Central.
Whenever I’m bored or need a pick-me-up just pop in a MST3K and I’m good!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Dropo “I’m sorry Chief, I haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights.”
Crow “‘Cause he’s been drunk off his Martian butt!”
Santa “Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen and Vixen and Nixon!”
Crow “Uh…what’s in the pipe Santa?”
I haven’t watched this show in years. Too bad it is not in syndication anymore. Great show.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians should be on here. I love how they did several 3 Stooges joke with the 3 bad guys.
I can’t remember the episode. I think it involved a spider invasion. One of the characters says “You wouldn’t know rat turds from Rice Crispies” To which Crow replies “Snap Crackle and Poop!” I laughed so hard I thought I saw God…
I once saw one of the movies from the tv show in the 5 dollar bin at walmart. The actual movie, not the show’s dubbing of the movie. It was tempting to get it
shawn: I believe that is correctly assumed to be from Giant Spider Invasion and yes, awesome line!
Jorgegrl: In all honesty, most of these movies are just borderline ‘watchable’. That being said, it is to the show’s credit that even found those types of movies without just resorting to REALLY crappy movies. Well, some actually are, but you get the point.
I knew “Manos” would have to be on this list. I’ve actually seen sites dedicated to Torgo. I also love “I Accuse My Parents” and “Pod People”. Good stuff. Some other favorites I can think of are “Mitchell” and “The Final Sacrifice”. There are others I specifically remember watching, but I don’t remember the movie titles. Of course I never saw one I didn’t like.
Anyone remember the line “This is where the fish lives”?
“The Touch of Satan”, yeah also “Space Mutiny”. And “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders” features the line “If you don’t talk to your kids about bedspreads, who will?” I love it!
Great list. I like the fact that you didn’t choose one host over the other and rated the eps solely on content.
BTW, the #1 ep on my personal list is a tie between Hobgoblins and Soultaker.
In addition to RiffTrax, Mike, Kevin (always my favorite), and Bill Corbett do The Film Crew. They’ve put out 4 DVDs of MSTesque goodness. I’ve got Joel’s 1sd DVD on the way. Can’t wait.
A little trip down amnesia lane:
Manos- sheer genius. Anybody ever see Killing Joke’s video for “A New Day”? It’s sort of an homage. Torgo’s theme gets stuck in my head from time to time.
Mitchell- Joe Don Baker is God.
The Touch Of Satan- The Fish LIVES! So ’70s, so very, very ’70s.
Space Mutiny- Golf cart car chases, a pervy santa is the captain of the ship, the romantic interest is twice the age of the leading man and all the exterior shots are ripped off from Battlestar Galactica. All this and Calgon.
The Day The Earth Froze- Perhaps my favorite. “Greetings, Gregg Allman!” “There’s something you don’t see every day, Chauncy.” “What’s that, Edgar?” “Kiss going bass fishing.”
The Giant Gila Monster- The whole “putting your knee up” running gag. Genius!
Too many more to mention. I still miss the Thanksgiving Day marathons. Sitting on the sofa with the family, stuffed with food, laughing our asses off. Good times, good times.
I have a lot of the tapes and one season’s worth of DVDs.
MST will never die.
Mitchell!!! “even his name says, is that a beer?”
How can that be left off? Joe Don Baker and a ton of Schlitz! not to mention the baby oil. . . .
1.space mutiny 2. cave dwellers, funniest stuff ever
Oh no! Where’s the Corman film about the severed head of the spanish warlock in Nevada. My all time gut buster. The boys talking like Granny Clampett quoting Shakespeare… “Maysure for maysure” The big dufus… “Which tree is house”. And the head’s lines…”Next time uses your other hand to knock on the door, idiot!” “hey, put some air holes in this thing”.
Crow: “She’s got more clothes on now than before she got undressed”. The professor: “You rock my world”.
Also, (Middle aged) Teenagers from Outer Space and The Spider Invasion (Alan Hale: Got to go drain the little buddy!)
i can’t believe no one has mentioned Riding with Death! C’mon, Ben Murphy for crying out loud! Also have to agree with everyone that said Final Sacrifice, Zap Rowsdower spawns so many jokes beyond the movie it’s not even funny (well yeah it is funny).
Riding with Death drives me crazy for some reason. It’s one of those movies that, although the MST3K team does a superb job riffing, is so annoyingly “hick” and 70′s that I can’t make it through the whole episode.
“I’m comin’ up on yer mudflaps!”
How could you forget Hobgoblins. That was hilarious!
Decent list, this being one of my favorite shows of all time i always have to put in my two cents, ie: my list.
10.Invasion of the Neptune Men
9. This Island Earth
8. Cave Dwellers
7. Boggycreek Creature and the Legend Continues
6. Jack Frost
5. Soultaker
4. The Wild World of Batwoman
3. Space Mutiny
2. Godzilla vs. Megalon
1, Prince of Space
What was the Episodes with these two quotes?
“Look I made an “R”"
and
Hey He’s Lactating.
I have been trying to remember, I want to see it again because when I originally saw it it was hilarious.
I love MST3K. Tons of great episodes. I haven’t watched them in a while. I am trying to remember an episode I watched in prob. 1996 or early 97. There were a doctor and nurse in an operating room operating on a patient. The doctor says something like, “Nurse, the whole blood please.” And Crow says, “Yeah, not the 2%!” I remember laughing so many times in this episode and I never saw it again. Does anyone know what episode this is, I would love to get a hold of it somehow? I never laughed so hard in my life. Email me at dustindudley@hotmail.com please. Thanks
I liked the Hobgoblins episode.
Oh, I think my favorite out of all of them will always be ‘The Mole People’. Probably because we have it on tape and I’ve seen it more than the others. John Agar…..love to hate him. All these are great, though. I’m more of a Mike fan, but it’s great that you balanced the list so fairly.
I rewatched “Cave Dwellers” the other day and nearly died laughing at a line that I seemed to have missed the first time around…
“hey! Ator! I’m behind this limnoleum pole here! Yeah! It’s coool!” the accent is just hilarious…I’ve laughed at many a riff, but I think thats my new favorite
I think you should do a list of best MST3K shorts….of course, Mr. B Natural would have to make the cut
no “jack frost”??? aww, that’s a classic! what about “werewolf” (wur-welf?) lol!!!
no, major props though, i’m a mst junkie. even though “manos” is heralded by many mst3k fans as the epicly worst movie of all times and the best mst ever, i do love “this island earth”. it doesn’t get much better than hamburgers on the wall, “don’t mention his head”, what language does he speak? “apokukicka”, “cal… i farted”, and the naked x rays.
i’m going home and watching these all over again, lol! i love mst!!!
okay jfrater, i dunno if you ever re-read these lists, but if you do, you’ve gotta answer this…
joel or mike?
I liked the segments more with Joel; many of Joel’s inventions were just too damn funny (i.e., Daktari stool?…whatever, Junk Drawer, Freak Out), but Mike had his moments. Maybe it’s because Joel is sleepy eyed?
Some of my Favorites: Attack of the the Eye Creatures, Catalina Caper, Cave Dwellers, Space Travelers, Killer Shrews, Tormented, Human Duplicators, Secret Agent Super Dragon, Magic Voyage of Sinbad, Operation Double 007, Santa Claus, Invasion USA, Zombie Nightmare, Bloodlust!, Skydivers, Starfighters, San Francisco International, Kitten with a Whip, Danger!!! Death Ray, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Angels Revenge, Incredible Melting man, Escape 2000, The Giant Spider Invasion, Jack Frost, Space Mutiny, Time Chasers, (whew, I’m hungry)