Due to the comments on our recent list dealing with suicide, I thought it would be useful to put together a list of things you can do to help you overcome depression and improve the quality of your life. This is a list of the top 10 tips for leaving depression behind.
10. Develop Interests
Perhaps one of the most common reasons for depression is a lack of enough interests and activities. A small number of them tend to become routine and often boring. Interests and activities are very important in mental health, contributing to self-esteem and happiness. They give satisfaction, help make you feel good about yourself, and keep your mind off problems and negative thoughts and emotions. Simply cultivating them can sometimes cure depression, grief, addiction, explosive anger, anxiety, excessive worrying, or guilt, especially if you do the activities whenever you feel the negative emotion. There are many things you can do in this area: house work, visiting the sick or elderly, developing a hobby that involves the use of the hands, and so much more.
9. Keep Positive
Negative thinking habits play a very important role in depression. Research shows depressed people tend to minimize their accomplishments, talents, and qualities. Happy people experience failure, disappointment, rejection, negative emotions, pain, and great sorrows, too, just like depressed people. But happy people keep a positive attitude by gracefully accepting sadness and suffering as normal parts of life, while doing what they can about their problems. This also makes them more pleasant to be around and improves their social lives. Part of happiness is a courageous choice of loving life in the face of suffering, a chosen position or view of things.
8. Fix your Personal problems
Work on your personal problems, using small steps to make sure you avoid becoming overwhelmed. Work on only one or two simple things at a time, breaking large or complex problems into goals you can easily accomplish. Use rewards, friends, family, and support groups. What negative or stressful situations exist in your life? What can you do about them? Don’t give up and allow your problems to continue. Brainstorm solutions and ask other people for ideas. Some depressed people reject all the possible solutions, finding reasons to eliminate each one as unacceptable, unpleasant, or unworkable. Don’t let negative thought habits interfere with problem solving. Keep an open mind to all possible solutions.
7. Create a Positive Social Life
Work to make your social interactions more positive by showing warmth toward other people, taking an interest in them, developing and sharing interests and activities, etc. Ask your friends and loved ones to ignore your depressed behaviors and to cut telephone calls and visits short when you dwell on complaints or drown in self-pity, spending more time with you and showing more warmth and interest when you act in more normal ways. Tell them to avoid taking pity on you and feeling guilty for not catering to your depression. Which leads us to point 6:
6. Stop Bad Behavior
When you complain, cry, talk of sad feelings, or discuss problems, your friends and loved ones probably respond with sympathy and tender loving care. Unfortunately, these loving responses reward and help maintain the depressive behaviors. Some friends or family even take over chores for a depressed person who stays in bed or asks for help. Again, this rewards the passive or dependent behavior. Perhaps you reward yourself when you drown in negative thoughts or self-pity. Many depressed people eat, spend money excessively, abuse addictive substances, or have sex without love to feel better. Eliminate these and any other subtle rewards for depressive behavior.
5. Be Realistic
Reexamine your expectations or priorities in life and, if necessary, adjust them to suit reality better. Depressed people often think they can’t be happy without certain things, such as a lover, a particular lover, material possessions, a much higher income, etc. You can eliminate such problems by changing your negative thinking and learning to accept the situation. Certain situations or troublesome people simply won’t change. When you can do something about a problem, however, you should. For example, you may need to leave an alcoholic spouse or to go to school to prepare for a better job.
4. Make Changes
Change bad habits that keep you depressed. Work on replacing negative thoughts with positive thought alternatives every day. If you tend to blame circumstances or other people for your depression, combat these thoughts of helplessness by reading or by repeating, “I made myself down over that. I didn’t have to respond that way.” Use assertiveness skills, good problem-solving skills, or more positive thinking the next time a similar situation arises. If you often assume other people think badly of you read or repeat “I can’t read other people’s minds.” Humor also helps a great deal in facing life’s problems without drowning in negativity.
3. Become active
Exercise and proper nutrition should be looked at, not as a quick fix, but as an ongoing way to make our tomorrow a little better and as an aid to facilitate our other therapeutic endeavors. We are then less likely to give up after a short time because we are not expecting an instant cure, just a little more control over our emotions and our life situation. You don’t have to run a marathon – just a daily walk for 30 minutes can be a huge step in the right direction.
2. Fix your diet
Overeating, starving, and binge drinking are all ways we use to suppress our feelings. When feelings are suppressed, they eventually emerge later in other ways – such as through depression. By overeating, you are just putting off feelings that need to be dealt with. Think of it like this: every time you eat/starve when you are not hungry, you are trying to suppress your feelings which will, in turn, make you eat/starve more. Next time you are going to starve or eat your feelings away, think of a phrase like this: “I want my feelings to come out so I can deal with them – if I eat/starve now I will be hurting myself and making the problem worse. Because of this I am going to wait until my next meal.” You will be surprised how quickly your eating habits come under control with this thinking. Try to eat a balanced meal three times a day with no snacks in between. Remember that hunger is not a bad thing – it is a natural physical reaction to having processed all of the food you have eaten. NOTE: I am not suggesting you go on a health food diet – I believe you should eat whatever you want – as long as you only eat a small portion.
1. Control your thinking
Another thing is to consider removing the word “depressed” from your vocabulary. Instead, think of these feelings as low moods. The term “depression” has so much baggage attached to it – by thinking of your feelings as a “low mood” you are more easily able to appreciate the fact that there are also high moods. Low moods seem more controllable.
These tips, and many more can be found
here
.
This stuff is garbage…
Depression isn’t something you can just change.
I tried to get active i ended up getting tired more and sleeping for maybe up to 20 hours at a time.
All this bull***** i tried changed my life to the point where i was more depressed and i almost killed myself.
i had a gun in my hand when my step brother walked in the room and nearly beat the hell out of me. i then spent tome in a hospital where they ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO HELP!
don’t listen to this *****. seek real help.
Have any of you heard of Bipolar disorder…i was diagnosed as being depressed when i was 7 and i was accuarately diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when i was 9, i have the whole inherited gene. Ive taken prescription medication my whole life for various reasons concerning my disorder…i read this list and think it is just bull*****, no matter what i have tried to do, the only thing that has helped me is seeing a psychologist. Being able to get my problems out to someone i dont know helps me more than any medication i have ever taken. Who ever wrote this list has never experienced true depression. I’m 19 now and i have went through so much suffering for no reason other than an inherited gene, this list is pure bull***** and doesnt help anyone who ACTUALLY has clinical depression…get your facts straight before you write a list about something this serious…
true chemical depression means that you no longer have the ability to care about anything. therefore, this ***** is useless. i really think you might want to avoid depressing people further by removing this list.
me: I think point 6 might apply to you.
buuuuuurn!!
the last thing a person who is actually clinically depressed needs to do is:
1)be told that they can help themselves out of it, and that they have control over it.
2)be told that it will just pass, that it’s mind over matter.
3)be advised to make major life changes. when you are depressed, you are NOT yourself anymore. You are angry/apathetic/in constant agony/desperate, etc.
Your body cannot produce or retain the correct chemicals to counteract these feelings. you can’t fight chemistry, and while i agree that you shouldn’t give in, you do not always have the ability to decide. the only reason a depressed person will seek help is because of their loved ones; they no longer care about themselves at all.
your list disturbs me greatly because it displays all the ignorance about the condition.
IF YOU CAN COUNTERACT YOUR SADNESS, IT IS NOT DEPRESSION. end of story.
this list works on so many different levels. the text itself is sound advice presented in a understandable and positive way. no where in the text does it imply that it is the end all be all treatise on depression. so i still think this list stands on its own. especially when read in proper context and taking the time to check its sources.
the comments it has generated actually exceed the merit of the list itself.
which is the truly awesome thing about listverse. that a simple list could generate such commentary…well, its what makes listverse…listverse and not some knock off copy/paste piece of crap you’ve seen everywhere else.
having said all that…how much i appreciate this particular list. how much i appreciate the commenters.
i think its time to change the title to
TOP 10 WAYS TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE
seriously…does no one read the list? read supporting links?
and does no one actually read the preceding comments?
so many people are simply not reading. not paying attention. and spouting off on their own little soapbox. and yeah, i can be guilty of that last part too.
okay…so first off. this is an excellent list. there is sound advice to be found here. the supporting articles have to be read to keep this list in proper context. otherwise commenters come off looking like fools for repeating exactly what is said in the list or supporting text or THE PREVIOUS COMMENTS.
i know, i know…no one is paying attention but i’ve gotten this off my mind.
clinical depression is a mental illness that requires assessment and treatment by professionals. anyone suspecting they or someone they love is clinically depressed should seek professional help immediately. suicide is never the answer. if you or someone you love is suicidal…STOP call 911 or seek emergency medical intervention available in your area immediately.
i’d highly recommend anyone reading this list pay close attention to what it actually stated. check supporting articles. most importantly read every comment. before you spout off about what crap this is.
/rant
i think this list really needs to be renamed, you can’t cure depression by thinking positively, i’ve had severe depression for years, taken 13 different medications, tried everything in the book short of electro-convulsive therapy, tried everything on this list (which has done nothing.) these are ways to cope with sadness, not real clinical depression.
I find the best way to treat real depression is to learn a few tricks that prisoners of war use to make it through the hell that life as dealt them at that point in time.
The object is to make it. This implies hope. You have to accept there is hope for feeling better to feel better.
Another thing is to make time seem to go by faster by taking as much time as you can on simple tasks as brushing your teeth and other daily tasks.
Give yourself time to accomplish a better life. do not expect to feel good if you are tough on yourself. Just keep working on fixing the bad in your life a little each day.
Don’t tally up the negatives. Don’t worry about finances.
Work on having hope and knowing there is a way to be different.
Depression comes hardest when you think of all the bad things in your life and your mistakes and opportunities you missed.
We all have done the same things wrong in life, depressed people just dwell on it.
Many things will fix themselves as you fix a small bad thing, it adds up and with a little synergy of things fixed, it can snowball and fix bigger things without you having to do anything.
As you become happier, more opportunities come to you. As you have less negative thoughts, new happier thoughts will replace them.
You can’t see the sunrise if you are looking at the dirt.
tip 1. control your thinking = deny the truth shy away from your problems when you need to sort them out the most
tip 2. fix your diet = eating healthily depresses people it can make them think oh god i have to eat this or that and a little bit of that or i’ll end up even worse off than i am now
tip 3. become active = sport creates competition or standards that have to be met and challenged or if the activity is something alone like track or i don’t know then you tend to think of the past the future your happiness leading ultimately to deppression.
tip 4. make changes = what to change where to startdeppressed people don’t have good features (well at least not to ourselves) so make changes to us means you’re right you do suck change!
tip 5. be realistic = to us how we think THAT IS REALISM damn stupid idea or what!
tip 6. stop bad behaviour = we’re deppressed not juvinial delinquents. deppressed people find it a lot harder to trust and talk to people FACT
tip 7. create a positive social life = deppression creates shyness making social interaction a lot lot lot harder try create a social life first
tip 8. fix your personal problems = if we knew what they were we wouldn’t be *****ing deppressed would we?! you’re the shrink site
tip 9. keep positive = *positive thoughts* oh my my life does suck oh happy day -_-
thing
tip 10. develop interests = interests need interest deppressed people have less and less interest in everything day by day
could you get much worse ?!
this is ridiculous
68. panopticism
69. dave
70. -cherio
your comments would be much more effective had you bothered to read the preceding comments. most of what you’ve stated in your comments has been previously covered..w/ some exceptions….more than a few times.
i would highly recommend anyone thinking of commenting on this list read the list carefully and all the ensuing comments before you sit in judgment of this list or make the same comment many others have already made before you.
as a starting point for educating oneself on depression..this list works fine. anyone should know a single list on a single website is grossly insufficient information on which to treat a life altering and at times life threatening mental illness such as depression.
if you need professional help for yourself or someone one you know…..contact medical professionals not a website on the internet.
Before taking the antidepressants I am currently on, I was in lock-down at a psychiatric hospital, and every second consumed with the feeling that I was one second away from urinating and defecating (caused by OCD), experiencing virtually nonstop panic attacks, and depressed to the point where I wanted to die.
Antidepressants do not make me happy or anxiety-free, far from it, but they give me a foundation that makes living (as opposed to merely surviving) possible, as my mind was for all intents and purposes complete chaos without them.
It took years of trying about two dozen prescription medications and a number of illicit drugs that did nothing positive for me before finding the antidepressants I am on now.
I have to object to the notion that sympathy ‘rewards’ depressive behaviour. It isn’t like giving a sweet to a dog. During depression, you hate yourself. It’s like constantly bullying yourself. The affection of freinds makes you feel only more wretched for not being able to attend to them, or for placing a burden upon them.
It’s ironic, and kinda sad, that depressed people often reached their stae of being precisely through practicing the ‘stop whining’ method on themselves. I have expereinced depression, and I know that I reached it through constantly telling myself that I was lazy, worthless, unlovable and a burden to others. I did not reach it through having my ‘passivity reinforced’, or obtaining a ‘victim mentality’. I reached it through the very opposte conviction that I was contemptible for my (perceived) incompetence.
As for one commentator who claimed that most depressive people wear their diagnoses like a badge: I can’t say I’ve ever met such people. Of course, its skewed by he fact that he probably knows plenty of depressives without knowing it, and that he’s probably just met loud-mouthed people desprerate for sympathy rather than actually spoke to depressed people.
i hope it works im so depressed l8rly ive lost my boyfriend and friends =/ x
It’s clear that this list isn’t going to help anyone. Depressed people KNOW they should do all these things, but it’s not as easy as thinking “hey, maybe I’ll try that out”.
I suppose meds can help you, if you find it hard to get up in the morning, let alone do something – but they will never make you better.
I can’t completely recommend seeking help from professionals, either. They can be pretty judgmental at the times, and believe me – it’s not just my personal opinion.
I’m not saying that psychotherapy is the evil; it’s just not always so amazingly helpful as some people make it seem.
The best way I know to get better (be it depression or some other similiar mental disorder) is to talk with people who have been there or are experiencing it right at that moment.
Im so guna tell my mom this…
she often gets this weird symptoms and its because shes stuck here in the house with her two little kids the whole day nd i figured she has depression…thats not good she really needs to know about these tip. thnx
This list is wrong on so many levels. Teaching people to treat their depression or their loved one’s depression with these “Cure Acne” or “Lose Weight Fast” like lists creates the illusion that depression is just a minor, simple, temporary hurdle. Unfortunately for many people, depression needs doctors medications, therapies, and support from loved ones.. To teach people on this site (or anyone for that matter) that to follow these trivial and mundane tips teaches others to dismiss their own and other people’s depression. The winter blahs, seasonal depression, and post-pardom depression, is one thing -long term chronic problems are different. Perhaps specifying between the two, rather than conflating them would be less deadly advice. If my family had followed these tips, I’d be in a grave. Medication, family support, an early diagnosis, and MOST IMPORTATLY, dismisal of these “helpful tips” is what led to me leading a normal healthy life.
recent commenters -
scroll up! read some preceding comments.
This list of ‘helpful’ tips to combat depression is horrifying. It only confirms the level of profound ignorance, that so many people (including so-called professionals) have about depression and mental illness and is incredibly damaging to the individuals who read it. Please take it down!!!
In particular, people who suffer with depression really do need the help and support from friends and family. When society already holds so many prejudices about depression and mental illness, such support is not always forthcoming. Therefore, discouraging friends and family from being helpful and assisting the individual though such a difficult period is truly, truly irresponsible. To be honest, I’m disgusted that the list has been posted at all.
Han – look up dude. see previous comment? then scroll up and read some preceding comments.
i promise it will clarify everything then you won’t come off looking like such an idiot.
*slaps hand* oh, bad Cyn.
i agree with han depression is a very important issue especially in men who suffers more
The list is a good start as the medical journals reveal that lifestyle changes are more effective than antidepressants. You wouldn’t know this from the drug commercials, hey?
Here’s an example of that research…
http://www.cure-your-depression.com
There’s medical research study info on changes that were made by people who were on anti-depressants for over 20 years and were healed in less than a week.
Great list!
right now, i feel sad and horrible but after i read this article i want to try doing this 10 tips. maybe it can help me. im so sad right now. regarding in my work its really very stressfull and im so tired at all. But i would like to think that i will be happy this week.
Yeah.. I suffer from clinical depression and believe me, it’s not that easy to “be positive” when the dark mood hits you.
It can get so much worse when you spread your good cheer around and alienate everyone around you. Can’t work, can’t sleep, can’t eat. Everything is pointless.
I agree with some of the posters that took offense to this list. “Fix your diet” and “control your thinking” seem a bit, well, like bull***** to me.
I don’t agree with many of these answers on ”beating depression. 1. these lists are methods of suppressing depression mainly. Suppressing depression can make things worse in my expereince, and all ppl are different, different situations, different ppl, and it has to be dealt with differently. ”Stop Bad Behavior” well i believe talking about the problem, and letting it all out helps greatly with depression, then keeping it all in, and pretending that everything is ok, when its not, can make one even more depressed, because we can’t flick a switch in back of our head.
Some of these can help… and some of these can make things a lot worse, it all depends on the person. Just like taking drugs for depression. It can relieve some symptoms, but in some cases it can make things worse, and even can cause a increase in suicide. In some cases, and winging off drugs can be really hard, and cause spells of crying, and other unpleasent things.
But some of these lists were good.
Oh and -Cyn or anyone disagrees with my comment…
Many ppl are desperate when it comes to depression, and sometimes they seek help on random websites, and are to scared to seek professional help. They seek some sort of salvation anywhere they can find it, and a lot of things on this list can make ppl worse, then they already are.
Many ppl are deperest, and many ppl are to scared to tell anyone about it, especially a freaking stranger, who will examine them, and lable them, so they seek, and HELP on yes even random websites on the internet. alot of ppl think that they’re the only one with it, and are to scared to tell anyone else about it.
Some of these answers and advice is good, like thinking positive, but some of these can seriously make things a lot worse.
PPL who view these could very well be kids, or deeply depressed ppl, searching on googles for some sort of desperate help. I see it every where… but thinking positive is a real good thing, but this list is telling ppl to freaking pretend that everything is okay, and pretend to be someone else, and hopefully everything will be okay ? WTF is that ?
Btw all of you are very much aware that this is article is viewable to millions of ppl around the world, not just experts regarding depression, and now a days many kids are really depressed, and lack a lot of experience. They don’t go researching everything regarding depression, or even really aware what depression really is exactly.
I agreee with the statement above (very surprisingly) as I used to have depression myself. Saying ‘everything will be ok’ is not always a good thing to say to a person with depression, especially cus you can’t talk a mile in their shoes. Everything may turn out ok, but for them, now, they may be blind to it.
This kind of expert advice can be helpful, as you say JFrater, for those who are of low mood. The problem with true depression is that the mood of the suffer is being controlled by the illness – not the sufferer; which can be the hardest part to swallow.
So, some additions for real sufferers may be:
TALK – a problem sharted may not always be a problem halved, but many sufferers have been helped by repeatedly talking it out. Some people you talk to may be of valuable help i.e. counsellors. Others may not be, but let it out and don’t bottle it up to go ‘bang!’ some day.
STAY CONFORTABLE – in cases of long-term depression, don’t rush into things hoping for a quick cure. There aren’t any. Even if you made up with your parents and kissed your past away, it can still take a very long time to come out of it. So stay confortable with wherever you may be with it, and take it easy on yourself. Time is the greatest healer.
TAKE IN LIGHT – surprisingly, sunlight can really help clear the headspace and boost the body and skin. Fresh air really can blow the cobwebs away, and ‘walking it off’ really can work if you walk far enough. If you do try to walk more often, try to do round-trips or to always walk in the direction of home rather than away from it.
HAVE FAITH – another surpise, going to church, or to join any kind or singing, dancing or chanting activity will help. Not only will you feel part of a loving family, but the healing energy of any spiritual practice can be a refreshing tonic. Also, have faith in yourself and for the future. No matter how long it takes, all that water will flow under the bridge eventually.
damn those spelling errors!
Oh, and always tell people you are RECOVERING from depression.
Ohhh, and if i’m on the subject of things that seemed to help me:
Acceptance is the key. Repression only creates denial.
To illustrate this, one upon a time, I wrote down everything that has happened to me. I wrote down all the blame, all the anger, all the fact one after the other. Then I spent the entire afternoon repeating the words I had written to a stranger. They were asked to say nothing but just nod. After repeating this whole train or ***** over and over about 8 or nine times I got to thinking – ‘god, i’m so sick of going on about this’. After reading it out loud again I ended up laughing at it; which was unexpected.
You would think keep going over it all like that would reaffirm it all, but it didn’t. It let it out, and out, and out. Until I was in a position to see it as a place far removed from where I actually was. It still took a year or feeling in ‘limbo’ before the last grey sky lifted, but I did it. And guess what, as soon as I felt ok about myself, someone else saw it too. We got married 5 months later.
The following link also gives more tips
More Depression tips
This list is actually really smart and helpful
I have therapy for my depression in a few days…really nervous about it…
Very inspiring. Thumbs up!
i understand the intentions, but i dont like this list. people think its a state of mind, but depression is an illness. This is like creating a list saying ‘top ten ways to beat OCD’ or ‘Ways to keep away diabetes’. sorry to the creator of this list, but its mainly some of the comments that have offended me.
and to cloud5975, i hope it went well for you!
oh my god, im surprised how many people think that depression is an illness, like diabates or high blood pressure, it is not!! …the chemical imbalance theory is just a myth!, laughing causes a chemical imbalance in the brain, crying, getting mad, feeling “down” , antidepressents work as well as a placebo!, that´s not me saying it, there are a lot of studies on the matter, and for the tips that are here, well as long as you view something with negativity is not going to work, you have to believe, to have hope, victor frankl said it better in he´s book, “man in search of meaning”. just read it!.
Yeah it went a lot better than I thought it would-I’m on wellbutrin now.
frankocean-It is an illness, and you need to realize this. Depression can be caused by a poor diet, the time of the year (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or a deficiency of a certain neurotoxin. Antidepressants do help because they boost this neurotoxin (I can’t remember the name.)
i agree in the poor diet front, the body is like a car, it can be a brand new car, but if you dont treat it right, dont change the oil when you should, take care of the tires etc… it´s gonna fail sooner or later,but then again buddist monks eat only rice and look how peaceful they all are
…but the notion that we are not the main responsibles about our mental health its just so sad to believe, if depression is an illnes why CBT is better that antidepressents, for treating this “illness”. In CBT you challenge your thoughts and you learn to cope with every day life, in another words, you change the way you think.
study after study, (glad to send you the links, just ask) shows how placebo work as well as antidepressents,again, the power of the mind, im very glad that you did so well on your therapy, but dont ever forget, you are the master of your faith, and the important thing is what works for you..best regards.
i leave you with this…
“We’ve all heard the theory — a chemical imbalance in your brain causes depression.
Most researchers now believe depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.
How did we come to this conclusion? Through years of additional research. But now we believe that depression is caused by a problem in the brain neuronal network. We now believe antidepressants help brain cells recover their vigor and form new connections”
Jonah Lehrer.
you see…its changing, again..to earn more money..
Regarding medications for depression, I can only ask- Would you tell a cancer patient not to get chemo? Or a diabetic not to inject artificial insulin. Depression is a disease just like any other.
I don’t think depression is a disease at all, It’s a state of mind.
I was depressed for a good 4 years, and I had to change my line of thinking, I pretty much beat depression by doing a number of things that are on this list.
Depression can lead to other problems if not addressed though. I got over my depression entirely by myself.
Surprisingly, Marilyn Manson, and Pink Floyd were two of the biggest reasons why I’m not a depressed person anymore. Marilyn Manson’s music is very self exploratory, and it helped me to explore myself more, and it really changed my life for the better.
I disagree, Ant-Lox. I have bipolar disorder, which is a permanent mental illness. No matter how much I talk to a therapist or write in a journal or get excercise, enjoy hobbies, eat well, get sunshine, etc, I will never be in complete control of my moods. Although I now rarely get suicidal, I still become withdrawn, listless, and unfocussed about one or two days a week. It doesn’t sound too bad, until you consider that I am a student and the inability to focus or interact with my peers can be incredibly damaging. I occasionally go one or two days without sleeping, or spend excessive amounts of money on things I don’t need. Only since I’ve started medication have I been able to at least stabilize my moods and function almost normally. The medication has not made me happy, it has given me a measure of control over my behaviour.
I’m not saying that you weren’t legitimately depressed, or that you didn’t get over it yourself. But there are really two kinds of depression. There’s the kind that is temporary, usually brought on by external circumstances, that responds well to treatment. But there is another kind, which is permanently hard-wired into the brain of patients, and it’s not fair to ask us to live sub-standard lives because you don’t think it’s a real disease.
I understand the way you feel unicorn, i really do, but as long as you think you cant do something…you wont, there are many factors for bipolar disorder, two are i.d as the most important: Genes and Enviroment while growing up. Let’s take these two, but first bare in mind that you should do whatever feels right for you.
to take your example on diabetes and cancer, we have blood test, ct scans, to determine how bad the disease is, in depression there is NONE, we dont know how the chemistry of the brain works, we just dont.
I dont kid myself and i know that biological depression does exist, but it is very rare, as Elliot Valenstein Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of psychology and neuroscience at Michigan University, points out in his seminal book Blaming the Brain, “Contrary to what is often claimed, no biochemical, anatomical or functional signs have been found that reliably distinguish the brains of mental patients.”
even if it was a “gene thing” it is not a fact, that your genes can change if you follow the proper actions, mentally, dietary, exercising etc.. you CAN CHANGE your genes, or the “bad” burden in them.
i know unicorn, i’ve been there…
sounds lame, it is a cliche..but believe.
If you want the links just ask.
I’m a 20 year old male. been depressed for atleast five years now to performance anxiety. ive never had ***** with a chick, had plenty of opportunities, but i can’t get it up when the time comes! i can masturbate and i wake up with morning woods. sorry for the rambling, but i am a very stubborn person, still live at home and am at the local community college, and i blame it on my depression. i only really ever talk to it with my good buddy, weve been friends forever. hes had ***** numerous times so i dunno how he can related to me. but its nice to have someone to talk to. my parents or sisters dont know about my probably. im sure they have noticed me being in *****ey moods but i dont think they actully think i am depresssed. im pretty damn good at keeping it in and making ppl laugh and laugh myself. but im scared for my future because ive never had ***** and have enver had a serious girlfriend. dunno what to do. dont want to tell my parents. dont wanna go to a therapy. any reccomendations?
and please dont say get a girlfriend. cuz that wouldnt work, ive tried this recently. liked thsi chick alot, we hung out alot over thesummer. she liked me, she knew about my problem, cuz it has happened with her years ago. we tried to have ***** for the first time like 6 or 7 months ago. and nope couldnt get hard, then she lost interest.
^^ it was with me when it happened. (tried to have *****)
Henry:
erm…stop worrying? I’m not making fun of you, I swear. Thing is, you’re only 20. I assume you have no pact with a higher being that dictates you must have 92 babies by the age of 21 so…why the stress? Until you go to a doctor or therapist to find a medical reason for this, the only thing you can assume is it is stress-related. Getting a diagnosis from an anonymous community in an internet .com site isn’t the best place to find answers.
Can’t tell if you blame the depression on your current living situation or vice versa. If see that as a problem, then find a solution. Find a place of your own, bunk up with your friend…take out the negatives and replace with positives.
Therapists aren’t so bad, you know. I went for a time when people around me were worried that it wasn’t grieving I was dealing with but PTSD. Depending on the level of honesty with friends and family, you may get a good answer or you may get a lot of sympathetic awws. A therapist has no emotional ties to you; he’ll give you an honest and objective interpretation.
anya, thank you so much for the quick reply. i just blame the perfomance anxiety on everything. why i couldnt stay at this college that i was giong to and am now in a community college. and its ever harder cuz i dont mean to boast, but good lookings girls find my attactive. its pretty terrible how this has all turned out for me. i need to get over my stubborness and go talk to a professional, so much easier said then done and i dont see myself getting any help cuz im so emotionally messed up in side, but still hav eplent of friends. i dont understand it, im paranoid and have anxiety all to this performance anxiety. first time i remember it happened was in 7th grade. very yougn and immature yes. but the first time i tried to have ***** was mid way through highschool. i was always shy early in highschool, and then i starting partying and drinking and then its alllll downhill from there. i smoke cigs too, and when i drink and smoke cigs my heart RACES and pounds in my chest. im actually paranoid about this too when laying with a girl in my bed after drinking or something. writting this all down in thsi little box really makes me think i shoudl call a professional. but im honestly scarred of that. not normally scared of much,except *****, givign speeches infront of people and my future. had many thoughts of depressiosn, never even told a good friend or a soul, first time ive said it to anyone. ha its easier to just type on the internet and you haev know idea who you’re talking about. sorry for the typgin errors, i didnt look this over, because ill cry. and thanks for the quick response again anya, means alot.
i also have the flu right now and had been laying in bed for atleast 6 hours tonight. havent had anything to eat since 4pm, its now 1141pm. so my mind is a little loopy for sure. or else i dont think i would of posted any of these. but wow i can live like this anymore, so much pressure to have ***** these days. i need to cut back on the aprtying and drinking and find some new hobbies ( not saying partying and drinking are my hobbies) — see theres the paranoa. wow
i only ever rememeber being happy when i wasnt shy anymore in highschool until trying to have ***** for the first couple of times. nothing. ive been depressed ever since. many thoughts of suiside and have not had any help professionally what so ever. the only people that know are the girls i have tried to have ***** with, prob half of them know i guess. and 3 of my pretty good friends. i need a change in my life
am very sorry for the multiple posts, theres always way too much on my mind when i think about thsi
which is probably 30 times a day. but i cover it up very well. which is not a good thing to do at all, i know i’ve read so many different articles regarding depresssing and performance anxiety. farwell for now
and sorry for not responding to your reply in detail, i just kinda of blabbed. but i have two older sisters, they both have boyfriends for a while now and are both very successful in there job field. i guess theres alot of pressure? but thatsnot when i think about when tryign to have *****. i just think about how this has happened soooo many times before. i have been beginning to blow off trying to have ***** and chicks just think im not interested. when in reality i thinki would be so much more happier if i had ***** soon with someone in my town. once again sorry for all the posts. and pls read all of the above SIX posts that i made. thanks again
oh and i blame the depression due to my performance anxiety over the past 4 or 5 times. ive tried to have ***** with about 12 different girls, a couple multiple times, so they for sure know about my problem. ok im exiting this window before i have another 5 replies. thanks again anya for the quick reply
4 or 5 years **** ( to above post ) sorry i didnt check any of these postsf for spelling or grammar.
oh and I RARELY lie ever. i hate when people lie to me. thanks good night. so my good body have given me some decent answers
Blame it on my science background since I tend to organize by scientific method but I may be a really great person to bounce this off of or a horrible person to bounce it off of because I don’t really sympathize. I’ll empathize to a point but I didn’t feel an iota of sympathy… What I saw in your posts was a lot of ‘this didn’t happen because of *****’ and ‘that didn’t happen because of *****’… There was a lot of convoluted reasoning to blame everything on *****. The lack of proper accountability opens up the chance to feel crappy about other things (the no eating, the bed rest, the partying, the cigarettes…) and it becomes a vicious cycle of “the world is out to get me” rather than making proactive decisions to fix your situation. I’m glad you ended your latest post with some ideas on trying to change your environment. I hope this works out for you.
There’s only pressure to have ***** if you’re putting yourself in an environment that stresses it. I can’t pass judgement on your situation since I don’t know it but at least where I went to college and in regards to the peers I lived with and socialized with, ***** happened but it wasn’t the main focus of our lives (at least later in college. Freshman year was an experiment of part learning and part disaster. I’m still good with some of my freshman year friends but to me, I wanted more/different things). ***** wasn’t even secondary or tertiary…it was simply there. Perhaps it’s time to reevaluate and see who put the pressure to have ***** and why because they could potentially be a bad influence.
And relax. I can’t reiterate enough that there is all the time in the world…
“i thinki would be so much more happier if i had ***** soon with someone in my town”
Sounds too much like the overweight who want to lose 15 lbs solely to attract that lucky guy/girl. Sorry to ruin preconceptions of ***** but it won’t cure depression, it won’t fix relationships, it won’t provide miracles (no mention of “The miracle of Life” please…I’ve tried to erase that bit of ***** ed from my memory).
Ok, no therapy…yet. Things I can think of that may be good… try a sport/join a league, volunteer work, learn a new trade/job, create a bucket list (a to-do list of adventures) with definite deadlines (a couple short term deadlines. For example, I am going on a 6 mile kayaking trip for my birthday…which is in a month but it’s not warm enough until April so I’m postponing celebrations but at least there’s a definite short term goal. Did I mention that I’ve never gone kayaking before?
these’ll be some interesting memories…). Since I’ve only seen one major hang up, your possibilities for distraction are limitless.
I’m not insulting the list, it’s great – to the point and right – but I do doubt that the author has ever been depressed. These things are right, but the way they were written, they’re mocking me. I know that this is the way to beat depression, because I have before, but it’s so hard. It’s not so easy to just get active when you are depressed, it’s actually almost impossible for some of the other people I know who suffer from the disorder.
There is one way that I find helps me cope with depression, music. I play guitar – writing a lot of original pieces – and listen to a lot of metal in particular when I’m feeling under the weather. Not to say that these things won’t work for other people, but I am constantly active – playing sport at quite competitive levels – and it doesn’t help me feel better at all really.
For people who do suffer from depression take what you can from this list, but don’t think of it as scripture. Look outside the square for something to help you if none of these do. I can tell you what three things definitely aren’t the answer – drugs, alcohol and suicide. I won’t lie, I’ve considered suicide, quite a lot, but it’s not an answer. For everyone that knows you it’s just another problem, so don’t.
Good luck to all of you using this list as genuine advice, hope you keep your head above the water.
Mark-I’m the exact same way. Playing guitar (particularly metal) keeps me sane when I’m down.
Also, regarding the list-these things may help some people, but depression is a disorder and needs to be recognized as such. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression a few months ago and though things such as guitar help, they are not a cure. the only thing that has truly made me feel better is medication (Buprion to be exact).
118. XxChildofBodomxX : Whan I took meds I couldn’t play my guitar, just can’t do it…
Check it out :
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
For anyone who reads this list for reasons other than pure interest, that page could save your life. Number 3 has saved my life numerous times since first stumbling across this wonderful resource.
Of course I don’t pay much attention to #5 – which is probably a mistake
– but there are many other pages on that website. I implore anyone feeling more than just a bit down to check it out.