Here is a topic about the birds and the bees – as it relates to the animal kingdom. This is a selection of 10 of the most bizarre mating rituals known to man.
10. Red-Sided Garter Snakes

These snakes are small and poisonous, and live in Canada and the Northwestern United States. Their highly unusual mating takes place during an enormous orgy. Hundreds snakes slither together in a large den, eager to copulate. In that pile, one female may have as many as 100 males vying for her. These ‘nesting balls’ grow as large as two feet high. Now and then a female is crushed under the heavy mound.
Interesting Fact: Some male garter snakes are able to release the same scent that females release, causing them to be mounted by hundreds of other snakes. Scientists believe this may be for warmth and protection.
9. Argonaut

Argonauts exhibit extreme sexual dimorphism in size and lifespan. Females grow up to 10 cm and make shells up to 30 cm, while males rarely surpass 2 cm. The males only mate once in their short lifetime. The males lack the dorsal tentacles used by the females to create their eggcases. The males use a modified arm, the hectocotylus, to transfer sperm to the female. For fertilization, the arm is inserted into the female’s pallial cavity, then is detached from the male.
Interesting Fact: Argonauts are capable of altering their color. They can blend in with their surroundings to avoid predators.
8. Whiptail Lizard

The whiptail lizard is an all-female species. It reproduces through a method called parthenogenesis. Each Whiptail lizard has an ovarian cycle of 21 to 28 days. When two are placed in a cage together, they synchronize their cycles so they are opposite. For 10 to 14 days, one of the females will act male, which means she mounts the other. The remaining Whiptail takes the female role by receiving; then they switch roles. This is unusual as neither is truly male. The resulting offspring of this method of mating is a perfect clone of its mother.
Interesting Fact: In the lab, through genetic manipulation, scientists have been able to artifically create true male whiptail lizards.
7. Anglerfish

The Anglerfish has one of the most unique mating methods. When a male is born, it has no digestive system so it needs to find a female (all of which do have digestive systems) quickly. When it finds a suitable female, it latches on to the side of her by biting her and it releases an enzyme that melts her skin causing the two to fuse together. The male then wastes away and the female has a permanent supply of sperm to fertilize her eggs on demand.
Interesting Fact: The anglerfish is a culinary speciality in certain Asian countries. In Japan, each fish sells for as much as $150 USD.
6. Bedbug

Bedbugs mate by “traumatic insemination” – what this means is that the male doesn’t even bother with the female sexual organs – it simply stabs the female with its own sword like sexual organ in any part of her body. Lovely. This form of mating is thought to have evolved as a way for males to overcome female mating resistance.
Interesting Fact: Bedbugs are generally active only at dawn, with a peak attack period about an hour before dawn.
5. Giant Panda

Giant Pandas are famously difficult to get to mate in captivity – at least until some bright spark in China discovered that showing them panda porn seems to help increase their libido! In 1998 the result of showing panda porn lead to the population of pandas in Wolong zoo to more than double.
Interesting Fact: Two of President Theodore Roosevelt’s sons were the first Westerners to shoot a giant panda for sport.
4. Percula Clownfish

The star fish in Finding Nemo is a clownfish. What most people don’t know, is that Nemo was neither a boy nor a girl – s/he was both! Clownfish can change gender! They will normally live together in a small group – the largest is the female, the second largest is the male, and the rest are non-mating males. If the female dies, the largest male will become the female, and the largest of the non-mating males will be promoted to the mating male.
Interesting Fact: Clownfish and damselfish are the only fish that can avoid the potent stings of an anemone.
3. Giraffe

Female giraffes associate in groups of a dozen or so members, occasionally including a few younger males. Males tend to live in “bachelor” herds, with older males often leading solitary lives. Reproduction is polygamous, with a few older males impregnating all the fertile females in a herd. Male giraffes determine female fertility by nudging the females backside until she urinates in his mouth – he uses the taste to determine whether the female is in heat.
Interesting Fact: Giraffes have extremely long tongues – often up to 45cm.
2. Porcupine

Female porcupines are only interested in sex for 8-12 hours per year. Interested males will stand on their hind legs and spray a female with urine. If she is ready and interested, she will expose her quill-less belly to the male and they will mate until they are both exhausted. if the male tires before the female, she will seek another male to take his place. If a female is not ready or interested in a male, she will make a screaming noise and shake the males urine off herself.
Interesting Fact: Porcupine meat is valued as a food for humans in parts of Africa, Italy, and Vietnam.
1. The Spotted Hyena

Unlike most other hyenas, the female spotted hyena has a pseudo-penis (enlarged clitoris). Female hyenas give birth, copulate, and urinate through their protruding genitalia, which stretches to allow the male penis to enter for copulation, and it also stretches during birth. The anatomical position of the genitalia gives females total sexual control over who is allowed to mate with them. The female is also larger than the male. In the spotted hyena family, the female really does wear the pants.
Interesting Fact: Hyenas, unlike other canids, do not raise their leg when urinating.




















Jade: you don’t find anything unusual about an elongated clitoris, or the fact that female hyenas can control who they have ***** with just by adjusting the position of their genitalia? If you ask me if I saw someone with a pseudo-penis it would freak me out just a little. And if a girl could tell you no just by moving her clit around a bit. . . I don’t know that could either make dating a lot easier or maybe a lot harder, not sure yet
toolnut: LMAO
check out the wood*****mating ritual… we have them here in northeast ohio anyway. in early spring around dusk, if you head to a meadow on the edge of the woods you can witness it. hard to explain, but pretty cool.
Don’t know how bizarre this is but when a pig mates the male has a 30 minute orgasm.
antylon: thats not bizarre, its just the weirdest f****ing thing ive ever heard.
so the male anglerfish doesn’t live at all, his purpose is to find a female and give her his sperm? that is really sad.
and yes, what a wonderful way of having *****, if we follow bedbug: “so you don’t want to do it tonight? that’s all right, I’ll just stab you with my *****ual organ anyway.”
toolnut; you win the laugh out loud prize….
mom424: that totally just made my day!
Well, starting at #79 this comment section went for *****. Very, very funny, guys. You so witty!
The most bizarre of all is of course our human mating rituals. Bathing, dressing in fancy clothes, gyrating in nightclubs and imbibing alcohol to fool the other ***** into sleeping with us
BEDBUGS natures rapist
if only….
my nights out will be so much easier
dastex- you’re trying too hard. skip everything but the alcohol, it’s much quicker.
Pandamoanium – it’s in Chinese so it would need to be translated… Wait a second, WHAT am I thinking? No one cares about the dialog.
“dialog” means dialogue
I thought of a good one last night… One night in Panda!!
I had heard about the whiptail when I was younger and single. It was then I realized we woman don’t really need a man. Of course those grey slugs mom posted say hermaphrodite, but sounded more like to men that don’t need a woman.
okay that is 2 (two) men. I missed the w
SocialButterly: haha so wrong so wrong!
Hyenas are not canids they have their own family
lol Moriarti some females are ;o)
are you sure that garter snakesa re poisonous? last time i checked they weren’t . just checking
I hope the Garter snakes around here aren’t poisonous. I had a cat that would bring them into the house. My mom would freak out, and I had to catch them. The dumb things would try to hide under my sleeve by slithering up my arm. Outside I would shake them out of the sleeve, play with them a little, then set them free. They did leave a funny smell on my skin.
a Hyena is NOT a canid! a canid is any one of 35 wild or domestic species that include the domestic dog, wolves, fox, specialized south american fox, raccoon dogs, dholes, dingoes, african wild dogs, bush dogs, maned wolves, jackals, coyotes, new guinea singing dogs.
a hyena is a member of it’s own family, Hyaenidae. they are not closely related to canids, but instead, are closer to meerkats and mongeese.
so that is why they do not urinate by lifting a leg. they prefer to extend their ***** glands form their rectum and mark their scent directly on objects.
sorry it’s a bit gross… but they proably think we are the ugliest apes to ever evolve out of africa!
p.s. garter snakes are NOT poisonous.
Lucky Pigs!!!
The comments today are A one – had a good giggle – hubby thinks I’ve gone nuts laughing away to myself.
When I was about ten years old I saw a ball of garter snakes. I was climbing up an old rotten stump when the side broke off. I fell on the ground and a ball of snakes rolled out of the stump onto my legs. They went slithering off in different directions. Until now I had no idea why the snakes were in a big ball (volley-ball size) or that I had disturbed what is essentially and orgy.
my mate trevor sent these snaps and they are fantastic – how was this knowledge gathered?
someone must have really liked this list because they pretty much just plagiarized it.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15926_15-most-bizarre-animal-mating-rituals.html
different animals. not sure of date of publication either.
this one was Published on January 30, 2008
same concept though.
a lot of animals are the same though & their descriptions are very similar too. it was published this week.
thanx erin…i dunno. think i’ll defer to J.
Erin: our list predates cracked by about a month. I guess they liked our one
GARTER SNAKES ARE NOT POISONOUS!!! >>> INFACT NO SNAKES ARE POISONOUS >>> THE APPROPRIATE WORD IS VENEMOUS AND …. GARTERS AREN’T VENEMOUS EITHER!!!!
try venomous:)
I’m the author of the Cracked article and I just had this pointed out to me. Some of you may want to look up what plagiarism actually is before you toss that word around, in full ignorance of the 9 completely different animals on the list I wrote, the fact that this information is available on pretty much any nature website on Earth and that Cracked is a comedy website thus the article was a comedy article.
I’m the author of the Cracked article and I just had this pointed out to me.
Muahahahahah
“If a female is not ready or interested in a male, she will make a screaming noise and shake the males urine off herself.” That made me laugh so much! I’m sure a lot of women would scream if a guy *****ed on her!
—x–
LOL! we are not so different from the animal world xD
hyenas arnt candids. there an offshoot of the cat familiy
Teehee… Panda *****.
And as a few have mentioned, hyenas are not canids, and garter snakes are not venomous.
They will throw up thier last meal in a strange way of driving off predators at times, though. It’s very strange to see.
Bonobos aren’t monkeys, they are primates, very closely related to chimpanzees.
BTW, JF, we’re still waiting for that Top 10 Panda ***** list! My favorites so far are Pandamoanium (by Drogo) and Getting Randy with my Pandy (by Blogball)… The Two Pandas, One Cup (Hannah) made me screech with disgust. It was hilarious, though. This is one of the funniest comment lists ever!
BooRadley: you never know when – but one day it may just pop up
So the Male Giraffe likes Watersports…who knew? After that, he likes to be chained to a post and whipped…
I love it when I find a list that I haven’t read before! This was hilarious! I love the comments, especially the ones about Panda *****…”Randy with my Pandy”….I can hardly type as I’m still laughing at that!
You’ve gotta love the “random list” button. I can hardly remember what I read on the list the comments are so funny!!! Panda ***** LMFAO!!
“Toolnet-
Harsha: a *****ual session that lasts 8-12 hours and includes *****, oral, and anything in between sounds a little exhausting. . . but fun”
jfrater -
“Mom424: haha
Blogball: it definitely was ”
Mystern-
“JF: For a second i thought you said “it definitely was” to Toolnut. This is byfar the most interesting ‘verse conversation in a while.”
I thought the same thing. x)
hyenas are NOT canids.they are more closely related to CATS.
I am from PA and I know Garter snakes are NOT poisonous like stated above.
Garter snakes aren’t venomous, i used to have a big fish tank full of them, one was over 4 ft. long, he was mean too lol
It would have been great if human females could also reproduce by themselves like the whiptail lizard.No need for men at all.Wow.
ahaha..i think women will get mad if the guys ***** on them..ahaha..
Sorry, but Garder Snakes aren’t vemonous. The only venomous snake in Canada is a kind of rattlesnake. Also, i’ve been bitten at least once by a gardner snake before, and the bite doesn’t even swell at all.
Wow I found this place on Yahoo digging around for another topic entirely, and now I’m going to need to go back and go over some pages on your site.
this is entertaining, except I have to point out that Hyenas aren’t a Canid. They’re their own group of animals that’s like a medium between cats and dogs
Another fact: Hyenas are not Canids but are Feliforms meaning “Cat-Like”.
it is not cool too have a animal in my home
it is not cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksxrXRtpO6k Any one interested in learning more about Red-Sided Garter Snakes you should check this out.
How is the eagle not number one, let alone on here at all.
I know this is a super old list but:
Where are flatworms? Not sure if anyone mentioned (I’m not being immature here) but they are hermaphrodites and have a ritual where they stab each other with their penises until one has their eggs fertilized it’s known as penis fencing.
Silverfish have a pretty unique mating ritual too.