Subscribe to ListverseTop 12 Things You Need To Be A Mad Scientist
- Published March 6, 2008 - 129 Comments
When I was a kid I really wanted to become a Mad Scientist. Frankenstein (the patron saint of the Mad Scientist) had Electrical and Biological toys. So here is a shopping list for both. Visit the links and dream of the best la-bora-tory ever. I’m sure that ListVersers will have suggestions if something is missing – but don’t just tell us, please track down an on-line source and post the URL to the item (a page with a photo would be nice).
Mad Scientists like these switches because they are dramatic to flip and it is easy to see the connection. Not to mention all those exposed electrical circuits. The best ones are double pole, double throw. Cheap enough to get a bunch and mount them on the wall. These are mounted on a bakelite base. These are essential components when trying to build a living creature as they will make the connection between your corpse and your power source.
You can buy one here.
This item was used in conjunction with a Ruhmkorff coil in electrical experiments. It dates to about 1890. From the picture above we can clearly see how it would fit well in to your basement or garret laboratory. A must have for all Mad Scientists.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure why we need one, but it goes with the really cool Electrical Spark Resonator and it looks scary – a mad scientist is bound to have a use for one of these.
You can buy it here.
This is a requirement for all laboratories. A proper lab needs at least two, of course. These are less dangerous than Tesla Coils. When working in the lab, these should be switched on at all times to give ambience. Get the biggest ones you can so you can make all the other mad scientists jealous.
You can buy it here.
For really intense experiments you will need at least 500,000 Volts. There is a great video from their website is attached. Here is a video clip of the tesla coil in action. This is absolutely essential for your lab – without it you can’t really call yourself a mad scientist. Combined with the Jacob’s Ladders, your electricity effects needs are all taken care of.
You can buy it here.
This discharge coil can generate very high voltages at a high frequency. Less than the Tesla coil, but very impressive looking – and mad science is all about looks!
You can buy it here.
This is sure to be the hit of any party, capable of sparks 10+ inches in length. Sure it’s expensive, but no lab should be without it.
You can buy it here.
It is critical to wear one of these when doing any type of experiment. Everyone knows that without a head mirror the operation can not be a success.
You can buy it here.
These are an obvious tool for the mad science lab. Once your corpses have been delivered, you will need these to cut up your bodies so you can sew them back together for that truly authentic “monster” type creature.
You can buy it here.
You need a good supply of these – some stains you just can’t remove!. Very stylish, for men and women. You may want to get a few pocket protectors too.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure that this is legit, but for about 50 dollars you too can wire-up someone’s brain! Don’t make the same mistake Dr. Frankenstein made – check the quality of your brains before you use them!
You can buy it here.
The best specimens need to look good on the shelf. Somehow frogs, worms and grasshoppers are not impressive enough. Not all suppliers can ship to all locations. But at least you don’t have to go out digging at night in cold graveyards! A Mad Scientist needs at least:
A Brain, a few eyes, a bull testicle (better get two), and from a source I didn’t expect (Christianbook.com), a Heart and fetus (pig).
Contributor: stevenh
March 6th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Wooo Hoo – Great List !
March 6th, 2008 at 5:31 am
stevenh: heh totally unbiased opinion there eh?
March 6th, 2008 at 5:32 am
March 6th, 2008 at 5:37 am
hmmm what about the bubbling vats of brightly coloured liquids?
March 6th, 2008 at 5:40 am
I love it stevenh. Geez, I should buy a couple of these, use them for behavior modification with the crappy teenagers. Way more fun than being a positive role model. Bwahahaha
March 6th, 2008 at 5:48 am
don’t leave home without them
March 6th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Mad Scientists ftw. The bigger the sparks, the madder the scientist! Frankenstein from ‘Van Helsing’ was a great mad scientist with his lab.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:03 am
ehm an autopsy table!! lol
March 6th, 2008 at 6:06 am
HEEHE, love the list. I was on my way to the lab, to meet Dexter, but thought I would stop at “the list” first. Great list jayfray. MOM-my thoughts exactly. Behavior Mod: would that an issue for CPS?
March 6th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Great list! You forgot the most important one of all!…..Practicing the sadistic evil laughter while simultaneously rubbing hands maniacally!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Harsha: … There are some things money can’t buy…for everything else there’s MasterCard (c)
March 6th, 2008 at 6:17 am
stevenh:
This is one of the best lists ever. Nice work. I’m off now to buy up a bunch of these for my youngest daughter, a mad-scientist in training.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:22 am
All mad scientists need a creepy hunch-back assistant who says “Yes, Master” in a hissy voice. Couldn’t find where to hire a hunchback, so this will have to do.
http://www.hirelittlepeople.com/index.html
March 6th, 2008 at 6:22 am
don’t forget you also need 1 of the most important items to be complete…..a hunchback assitance, no real mad scientist should be without one!!!!!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:26 am
saffa: hahaha that is brilliant! I wonder if, with stevenh’s permission, I should add it as a bonus…. stevenh?
March 6th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Crap! I don’t have any of this stuff. Can you get me a list of shops where I can start my shopping?
March 6th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Rachel: you can buy it all online through the links provided
Be sure to send us photos of your setup when you are done 
March 6th, 2008 at 6:57 am
LOL This is a great list, I better not show it to my 16 year old son as he would probably try to talk me in to buying these things for him.
JFrater: I seem to be having a problem staying signed in. I sign in and then go to the bottom of the list to comment and I have to type in my nickname and email I am no longer signed in.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:58 am
saffa: Great link!
Jamie: Dude, It’s your site – Add at will. As many Bonus items that fit…
March 6th, 2008 at 6:58 am
stormy617: it is a consequence of caching software that was put in to place last night to keep the site up during a huge wave a traffic – you are actually still signed in – just ignore the name and email field and send your message as usual – you might need to refresh the page. I will have the software removed when there is a senior linux tech at the office who can do it
March 6th, 2008 at 6:59 am
Ok It only seems to be on this new list, when I sign in and go to an older list I stay logged in.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:01 am
Thanks J now it is showing that I am signed in even on this list.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Damn it! Someone beat me to the mastercard joke
March 6th, 2008 at 7:11 am
LOL, I want a surgeons head mirror to wear around!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:31 am
there is one thing you absolutely must have that cannot be bought. it must be practiced. if you cannot a high level of competency in this manner, you might as well hang up your lab coat. i will demonstrate. i have been honing this skill for years.
MWHA, MWHA, MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
it helps if your lab also has some decent echo qualities.
as far as something you can pick up at your local MSSC, Mad Scientist Supply Company, you need chains and pulleys and some sort of overhead track system to move around large omnious things under a sheet on your lab table.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Saffa(#13): That was brilliant! Well done.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:08 am
gonzo:
Hunchbacks can no longer legally be bought or sold on the open market. Believe me, I know.
Goddamned NAFTA.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:12 am
A mad scientist should also work in a dreary, musty old cellar or dungeon that is very cob-web laden. This place should be located in a part of the world where there are frequent lightning storms, especially at night.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:45 am
I just closed a production of a show that required an “electrical claptrap” on stage. I wish I had had this list for that. Thanks! I rarely comment, but always enjoy my visits to List ‘Verse.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Hey! Anyone a child of the 80’s like me? Remember playing with these things?
http://www.dukenostalgia.com/MadSci/MM_toys.html
March 6th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Great List!!! I want my own Marty Feldman now….
March 6th, 2008 at 8:58 am
darthbarbie: see comment #27, oh well
March 6th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Would there be an underground black market source of hunchbacks anywhere? Perhaps in some seedy latin american country? I’m not sure what the penalty on hunchback trafficking is, but I’d volunteer to be the coyote if the price is right.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Haha great list
But you forgot something, a castle on a cliff in an area that is always storming 
March 6th, 2008 at 9:27 am
This may be the craziest list I’ve seen here yet! Nicely done, StevenH. But don’t we need huge electrodes to implant in our creation’s neck? And, for some strange reason, sulphur springs boiling stinkily away in a corner of the lab?
March 6th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Slick:
Trafficking in hunchbacks can land you in Federal prison, man… or worse, Gitmo. But if you’re caught with just *one,* they’d probably let you off if it’s your first offense. Things get more complicated if said hunchback has already performed certain “tasks” for you…. you know, the usual…. robbing graves, stealing brains, killing the odd village maiden for her fresh, young heart… the feds don’t look kindly on such activities and hunchbacks are notorious for turning state’s witness against “master.” (Usually because of the whippings they’ve had to endure). You could find yourself brought up some nasty charges.
These are the risks of the mad scientist though. My advice–circumvent US customs laws and so on by obtaining a creaky old mansion on some South Seas island where you can experiment in relative peace. Better still, have a supply of local natives around as “test subjects” as needed. Easier to then purchase a hunchback on the black market and have him shipped to your locale. No complicated forms to fill out and no Homeland Security to deal with.
Obscure Eastern European enclaves are of course preferable, but they’ve become fewer and far between since the EU has expanded… then you’re into paying duties and VAT fees of all kinds (you know how the Europeans are–a tax and a fee on everything) and the final cost for a hunchback with reasonable service skills can run you beaucoup bux. With the exchange rate the way it is, it’s even worse. But illegal hunchbackery in Eastern European countries where antiquated 19th century laws are still on the books can result in some nasty penalties–attack by knobkerrie-wielding villagers, then hanging, drawing and quartering–none of which is pleasant.
Depends on if you’re really in it for the mad science, or just doing it as a hobby.
One saving grace: lotsa unemployed Russian hunchbacks who used to do menial tasks in the gulags–feeding gruel to the inmates, whippings, various humiliations–these guys’ll still work for peanuts and can be brought across borders fairly easily. They also make good, servile toadies. Used to being manhandled by low-level commissars. Careful though–some of them liked it.
Good luck!
March 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
MartinL: Thank you. And if you know a good source for those electrodes….
March 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
You will definitely need a woman who loves you but can never be with you….
March 6th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Randall: I think we can safely say that that is your best comment to date
March 6th, 2008 at 9:44 am
loved this list!
Some of these are always a must.
http://members.aol.com/xtalsets/a1meters2.jpg
March 6th, 2008 at 9:50 am
LOL Great list! I can’t believe you can actually buy all this stuff!
March 6th, 2008 at 9:51 am
brill
March 6th, 2008 at 9:53 am
This should be a top 15. Hunchback, castle in always stormy place or bulgaria and operating table should be added.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:00 am
You forgot the crazy series of tubes (loops, twists, turns, helices) for all the liquids going to random Bunsen burners.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:06 am
The Eastern European territory sounds tempting, but I hear that the real estate over there in the lower-lying areas is mostly subprime, and the better suited terrain of the Carpathian mountain region is facing a real estate bubble that’s on its way up. Interest rates are through the roof, foreclosures are common in a market struggling from the shrinkage of the mad science industry that the economy is dependent on. Not to mention the dodgy Socialist tax system (Of course, when did a mad scientist ever bother to file for a W-2?) No, it’s just not a buyer’s market in the eastern European countries right now. I liked your idea of the Pacific island, though. A true Moreau-esque landscape, rich with potential for under-the-table human rights violations. Of course, that leads back to the problem of the hunchback. Given the demographics of the region, the eastern European/Russian border area is ripe with the physical deformities and mental capacities of the preferred hunchback model, they work hard, are used to long hours and prolonged periods of gratuitous torture, and will work for table scraps. However, that does bring up the very nasty problem of having to deal with the Russian hunchback connections, and I hear they are a very surly lot. Not too keen on the IOU’s, particularly from hobbyist mad scientists like myself. No, I think a much better solution all around would be to neutralize US Customs involvement and avoid the Russians altogether by probing the mountains of the West Virginia area of the states for a suitable facsimile. I’m sure that the proper requirements can be met in one of the domestic models, and for a much better price. Of course, instead of “Yes, master?” I might have to settle for, “Yeea, Bawss?” but really, it’s all the same. As long as he has a lot of love to give, I’ve got a good home for him.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:08 am
you forgot, INSANITY!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Blogball: Yes! Hooked to wildly oscillating current, no doubt.
Tables are available here:
http://www.mopec.com/chapter6/ch6_CE_Series_Autopsy_Tables.htm
But because we dont want anything to get away, perhaps one of these:
http://www.handcuffwarehouse.com/hurelobedrek.html
is a better choice.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Yeah. good list but you forgot one fundemental thing about #12, and that is that each of them need to be in a container with bubbling liquid. And there are also the vats of acid!!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:37 am
jfrater:
Thank you Jamie. I aim to please, and to contribute, in my own humble way, to the entertainment value of your site.
Yours deformedly,
Randall
March 6th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Loved this list Jammie. I think Rocky Horror had just about all of these. LOL
March 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Randall, SlickWilly; Thank you very much. My day has improved immeasurably. Wonderful.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Slick:
You see my point about Eastern Europe. Once a haven for the mad scientist, its increasing gentrification and high overhead makes it undesirable today. Too bad–that’s still where all the great castles and ruined watchtowers are. Trouble is they’re rapidly becoming bed and breakfasts and the like… even youth hostels. No self-respecting mad scientist wants to worry about serving a continental breakfast on time to the tourists from Mannheim, or worse, Ft. Wayne.
You’re correct about the Russian hunchback market–it *has* fallen under the control of the Russian mafia, and they’re a pack of tough customers. And unlike the old-school criminal element, they have zero respect for the evil genius of the mad scientist, and even less tolerance for slow payments.
I must caution you *against* this idea, however, of resorting to some place like the backwoods of West Virginia to set up your den of evil. A) Such locales are considered “low rent” amongst the mad science set, and you’ll find you’re not taken at all seriously by your peers or even your lackeys and underlings. The blow to your reputation would be near-impossible to recover from. B) While it’s tempting to draw from the slope-browed local workforce, remember that their level of loyalty is notoriously low, and they’ll turn on you for as little as a jug of cheap moonshine. Moreover, remember that the American Lab Slave Union (ALSU) is a pain to deal with, and there’s no use in trying to hire scabs–they might be dumb, these hick hunchbacks, but they know what side is buttered on their bread. Inbred and isolationist, they stick together–sometimes in ways that violate the laws of man and god. C) Speaking of which–there’s no trusting these corn-fed hunchies when you’re back is turned. Buggery is a big problem with this group. Need I say more?
Of course, given your closing statement: “As long as he has a lot of love to give, I’ve got a good home for him” — maybe this last is exactly what you’re looking for.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:45 am
weird product placement list
March 6th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I’ve always felt a mad scientist needs a doomsday bomb.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Great list! Brings out the “Doctor” in all of us! hehe
March 6th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Of course, a speculum would also make a great addition to this list.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:58 am
nf: and a bout of Dr Strangelove Syndrome (number 5 on that list)
March 6th, 2008 at 11:58 am
otay: argh! don’t do a search on google images for speculum with safe search turned off!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
id like to have one of those knife switches just to turn on the lights in my apartment. that would be pretty sweet to flip that every time i came home
March 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Eric: You DONT want to be fumbling for a knife switch in the dark! ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
jfrater; you could have asked.Just think how disturbing that thing is on the receiving end. Sometimes it is safer to appear uninformed than to find out unprepared!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Now, if I have 1/3rd of the listed items already does that qualify me for a b00bie prize? or perhaps a wedgie?
March 6th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Open wide and say “ahhhh”?
March 6th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Hahaha, Randall.
You, sir, have mastered an artform.
At times like these, I can only think: “I’m not a *mad* scientist…I’m an *ANGRY* scientist!”
March 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Mom424: I really wish I had
talidorn: if you can send us photographic proof you own 1/3 of the items here, and maybe a photo of the monster you are preparing, we will definitely give you a prize of some sort!
Randall: where is your next list submission? After the brunettes I expect to see a “wry humor” list from you, if you please.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
talidorn: Prize = Psychiatric consult? LOL
March 6th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
jayfray and otay: i’m not sure i could hit the back button any quicker. that was most disturbing. your warning was more of a challenge. i should have listened.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
DiscHuker: hahah – I hope you weren’t at work
March 6th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
To spare the rest of those poor souls out there from being duped into looking at it, a speculum is an asshole-widener. If you’re still curious, may god have mercy on your soul, because some things just can be unseen.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
So no one remembers those great Mad Scientist toy sets from the 1980’s then huh? comment #30. They rocked! I loved my alien dissection kit! Wish I still had it. Maybe that is why no one wanted to hang out with “that weird kid”.
March 6th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
SlickWilly: hahaha – I wish I could “un-see” it that’s for sure!
March 6th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
jfrater:
I was, in fact, just putting the finishing polish on the brunettes list, and mourning the ones I had to leave off, in order to keep it to 25. (Sorry, but no way I can make it smaller). Now, just have to compile the pics I wish used, and then off it’ll go.
A wry humor list? Sounds interesting, but what format did you have in mind? Quotes?
A list on wines is forthcoming and greatest works of modernist literature… the art one hopefully after that.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
My lifelong dream come true! thanks Jamie!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Damn! The lab I work in doesn’t have any of this stuff. Just a bunch of stupid boring analyzers and lots of dumb tubes of blood. Sometimes, I do feel I may go “mad” here! No windows, bad lighting. . . hey . . . wait a minute!
Great list stevenh!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
sorry, thanks stevenh!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Im gonna get all of these and just have them in the back of my basement, then when my friends come, i’ll take them back there and scare the hell out of ‘em!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
A speculum is an instrument for gynecological exams. But knowing how perverse some people can be….i guess it could work as an “asshole widener” *shiver*
March 6th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
otay: Bad touch, bad touch!!!
March 6th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
To Csimmons, Angelina, Mom424, Randall, Slick Willy, etc:
Is the ListVersers who make it fun and worth while.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
*It’s*
March 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
re #77 and #69 …. I guess we shouldn’t ask how you got the name ‘SlickWilly’ ?
March 6th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
stevenh: However you think I got the name, that’s how I got it. I’m sure it’s much more interesting than the truth anyway.
otay: Ah, didn’t realize it was a legitimate medical tool. I’ve only ever heard them being used for sexual purposes. Makes sense though. Still gross.
March 6th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
You guys have no idea what we go through! Ask any girl about “scoot to the edge” and usually the speculum is just above the freezing point when they insert it. . . ok, ok, I’ll stop. The horror! The horror!
March 6th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
bah, I onley have the Assorted specimens, I guess I have some shopping to do…
March 6th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
You forgot one to be a mad scientist you need a vendetta. You have to be getting back at someone for firing you or back at the community for mocking your work.
March 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
what about a mysterious patron whose money and assistance only lead to the inevitable final confrontation where half the lab gets destroyed?
Yes, i am speaking from expierience. Do not trust Dr. Acula
March 6th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Angelina; Thanks a ton for the flashback! Scoot up here, now just relax. Just relax is an oxymoron, ’specially when the fella telling you to has a speculum in his hands….
March 6th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Mom: Yeah, gotta go in May. . . such is life! Wow, that was TMI, huh?
March 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
pookyB: I, too, have had run-ins with Dr Acula – a painful experience. I second your suggestion not to trust him!
March 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
i shoulda listened to you guys and mitch hedberg. i went to visit Dr. Acula and all he wanted to do was take my blood.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
This is why I love listverse. The sometimes hilariously weird lists, and the hilariously weird responses they can get.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
DiscHuker: bugger! If only we had this list earlier you could have totally avoided Dr Acula and his wicked advances!
Nelia: ’tis why I love it too – it’s all about the comments
March 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
jfrater: As you are aware, I am a “newbie” here, but i must tell you that you have a wonderful site. I look forward to each new list, not only for entertainment, but for education as well.
Lol – to clarify any questions about the speculum….I am a nurse.
March 6th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
definitely need the following:
-rubber gloves
-a busty blonde assistant to keep you busy while the bones set and the potions boil
-lots of shelf space
March 6th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
re: # 36, 45, and 52 – you owe me a new keyboard and monitor
March 6th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
otay: hahah – the sites you must have seen! Thanks for the compliment on the site – I hope you get many more hours of joy out of it
March 6th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
A few things missing: Thunder, lightning, and lots of dry ice. Mad scientists are very theatrical!
March 6th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
beakers, beakers… it’a all about the beakers!
oh, and a Kaa RaZy hair-do
March 6th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Annnnnnnnd…..
March 6th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I win!
Take that, Csimmons!
_>…..>_
March 6th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Lynn: Just beat me to it! I was scrolling down this list thinking “Crazy hair, crazy hair, why hasn’t anyone mentioned crazy hair!”, and there it was on the last post. This costs less than many of the other items on the list.
Megalomania or at least monomania.
March 6th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
yay for willy!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
ACB: You could take that statement a few different ways!!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I think if you’re using any or all of these items you need some serious Mad Scientist Goggles!
http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/thisweekineducation/upload/2007/10/2007_7young-frankenstein.jpg
http://www.streettech.com/storypics/goggleDIY.jpg
Safety first!
P.S. I love Bill Nye the Science Guy. =D
March 6th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Slickwilly: You are just the worst kind of person
I go to the gym for 2 damn hours,,,, aw screw it, at least im still top commenter!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
And tomorrow, Jamie said he has made a your view that will create violence! Note to Jamie, I get home at 3:10 from my school EST, so make it then!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I want number 4!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Did someone mentioned lasers? Especially attached to shark’s foreheads?
Great list, ty for the laugh!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Mad scientists need a dentist’s chair with restraints. Lynn is correct, it’all about the beakers and flasks producing noxious vapors
March 6th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
My new favorite list
There is an Ed Wood movie somewhere in this list just screaming to get out LOL.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:55 am
You forgot glass equipments and you call yourself a mad scientist!!! Shame on you! What kind of mad scientist will work in a lab where there is no colourfull chemicals running through tubes and boiling in glasses.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:09 am
A deaf and mute butler who takes care of your household while you are busy in the lab, but can’t tell people about your experiments, because he doesn’t talk.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Ok you guys I can not understand how any one could use a speculum for sexual pleasure that is just to….to…to……I am just speechless. I don’t even want to think about what kind of pictures there might be out there!!!! LOL
Those things cause enough pain and discomfort being used legitimately, I could not imagine letting someone use one on me during sex. That is just wrong on so many many levels. UGH!!!
Otay just curious what would a mad scientist need a speculum for in the first place. Wouldn’t he be putting bodies together not doing pelvic exams. I just think its funny that the speculum ended up being on this thread LOL And that open up and say Ahhh comment I just about fell out of my seat on that one.
Slickwilly and Randall you guys really gave me another good laugh this morning after a long shitty midnight shift. I really needed that. People really suck sometimes no I take that back……and fall back on one of my favorite sayings……MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!!!! Oh yea and belligerent drunk assholes do too!!!!
Ok end rant…….sorry just needed to vent for a minute. Think I am good now. Had a good rant and a good smoke perfect end to the work day!!
March 7th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Ok make that a good rant, a good laugh, a very good smoke and now I am drinking a Maple Porter………I feel a bit funny drinking at 8 in the morning but since I just got off of work i figure it cant be that bad right!
March 7th, 2008 at 7:57 am
I want my dumb, blonde nurse assistant..
March 7th, 2008 at 8:11 am
As a mad scientist, I must decry the heavy handedness in portraying only one discipline. Far too much emphasis has been placed on the electrical side of things, and really, mad science is INTERDISCIPLINARY science. You can’t play god with electricity alone! Particularly not in this post atomic age, genetic engineering age. While grey goo is really a home-made lab specialty, some readily available Uranium ore would be in order. Maybe some fluorescent jellyfish genes ready to be spliced into an avaiting…I mean awaiting organism of your choice? And, while the equally essential slightly less mad laboratory assistant (hump optional) is really another custom piece of work (check local “head hunter” agencies)the obligatory signature laugh/ cackle can not be ignored, and is free.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I really must back up my colleague Nanoalchemist on this point about Mad Science. Here at the University, (which hosts the top School of Mad Science in the country—housed in a tall, imposing brick tower with no windows–soundproofed, of course) we have long treated it as a multi-disciplinary subject. We are long past the age when mad scientists practiced mere galvanism and vivisection, splicing together the body parts of apes and humans, humans and leopards, wildebeast and lungfish… and past the time when merely bringing back life to the dead could get you accepted at a prestigious mad science college.
This is, after all, the 21st century, and even mad scientists must keep up with the times. They must be versed not only in the skills of creating teenage frankensteins (still a pre-requisite for many upper-division mad science courses) but in Mad Science Graduate School we require them to have extensive knowledge of a myriad of topics simply to be accepted: over-taxing nuclear reactors; lasers and Death Rays; genetic tampering/meddling; violation of the laws of god/nature (field study); nano-pathways to cell manipulation (runs the gamut from creating deadly viruses to breeding super-powered komodo dragons); physics of mind control; veterinary “medicine” (PETA is a constant irritant so this particular area is kept quiet); botany (it’s not just about man-eating plants anymore) and, of course, electives like Women’s Studies. Or some mad scientists take Art Studio.
Mad Science has come a long way—though yes, it’s still also all about the Tradition.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
what about the angry mob? Every mad scientist needs an angry mob with pitch forks and torches, ready to kill. It’s like a mad scientist fan base, if there’s no angry mob…is the mad scientist really making an impact?
March 8th, 2008 at 7:37 am
I M THE ONE!
March 8th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Excellent list….and great comments. My boys went to school the other day dressed as scientists, (a ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ day.) Both insisted on having the white coat, glasses and the big ‘white, crazy’ hair.
March 8th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
(Don’t hate me because I didn’t bother to read all of the comments.)
You absolutely HAVE to have a huge beaker of colored water with a few chunks of dry ice at the bottom for that bubbly fog effect. Or maybe an erlenmeyer flask (the cone-shaped one). Actually lots of assorted glassware is a good idea but the dry ice is absolutely necessary.
March 24th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Great list…im just having lot of fun
I use to be a big fan of http://digg.com
May 7th, 2008 at 9:13 am
My birthday is coming up and I am going to show this as my wish list
June 13th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
the evil laughter! *BOOOWAHAHAHA!!!*
November 7th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
what about the mad hair? i.e. doc brown.
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Great list, backed up with some comic geniuses in the comments. Keep up the entertainment!!!!!!!!
March 25th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
made me think of a favorite robert bloch quote: “i have the heart of a child… i keep it in a jar on my shelf.”