When I was a kid I really wanted to become a Mad Scientist. Frankenstein (the patron saint of the Mad Scientist) had Electrical and Biological toys. So here is a shopping list for both. Visit the links and dream of the best la-bora-tory ever. I’m sure that ListVersers will have suggestions if something is missing – but don’t just tell us, please track down an on-line source and post the URL to the item (a page with a photo would be nice).
Mad Scientists like these switches because they are dramatic to flip and it is easy to see the connection. Not to mention all those exposed electrical circuits. The best ones are double pole, double throw. Cheap enough to get a bunch and mount them on the wall. These are mounted on a bakelite base. These are essential components when trying to build a living creature as they will make the connection between your corpse and your power source.
You can buy one here.
This item was used in conjunction with a Ruhmkorff coil in electrical experiments. It dates to about 1890. From the picture above we can clearly see how it would fit well in to your basement or garret laboratory. A must have for all Mad Scientists.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure why we need one, but it goes with the really cool Electrical Spark Resonator and it looks scary – a mad scientist is bound to have a use for one of these.
You can buy it here.
This is a requirement for all laboratories. A proper lab needs at least two, of course. These are less dangerous than Tesla Coils. When working in the lab, these should be switched on at all times to give ambience. Get the biggest ones you can so you can make all the other mad scientists jealous.
You can buy it here.
For really intense experiments you will need at least 500,000 Volts. There is a great video from their website is attached. Here is a video clip of the tesla coil in action. This is absolutely essential for your lab – without it you can’t really call yourself a mad scientist. Combined with the Jacob’s Ladders, your electricity effects needs are all taken care of.
You can buy it here.
This discharge coil can generate very high voltages at a high frequency. Less than the Tesla coil, but very impressive looking – and mad science is all about looks!
You can buy it here.
This is sure to be the hit of any party, capable of sparks 10+ inches in length. Sure it’s expensive, but no lab should be without it.
You can buy it here.
It is critical to wear one of these when doing any type of experiment. Everyone knows that without a head mirror the operation can not be a success.
You can buy it here.
These are an obvious tool for the mad science lab. Once your corpses have been delivered, you will need these to cut up your bodies so you can sew them back together for that truly authentic “monster” type creature.
You can buy it here.
You need a good supply of these – some stains you just can’t remove!. Very stylish, for men and women. You may want to get a few pocket protectors too.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure that this is legit, but for about 50 dollars you too can wire-up someone’s brain! Don’t make the same mistake Dr. Frankenstein made – check the quality of your brains before you use them!
You can buy it here.
The best specimens need to look good on the shelf. Somehow frogs, worms and grasshoppers are not impressive enough. Not all suppliers can ship to all locations. But at least you don’t have to go out digging at night in cold graveyards! A Mad Scientist needs at least:
A Brain, a few eyes, a bull testicle (better get two), and from a source I didn’t expect (Christianbook.com), a Heart and fetus (pig).
Contributor: stevenh
Wooo Hoo – Great List !
stevenh: heh totally unbiased opinion there eh?
hmmm what about the bubbling vats of brightly coloured liquids?
I love it stevenh. Geez, I should buy a couple of these, use them for behavior modification with the crappy teenagers. Way more fun than being a positive role model. Bwahahaha
don’t leave home without them
Mad Scientists ftw. The bigger the sparks, the madder the scientist! Frankenstein from ‘Van Helsing’ was a great mad scientist with his lab.
ehm an autopsy table!! lol
HEEHE, love the list. I was on my way to the lab, to meet Dexter, but thought I would stop at “the list” first. Great list jayfray. MOM-my thoughts exactly. Behavior Mod: would that an issue for CPS?
Great list! You forgot the most important one of all!…..Practicing the sadistic evil laughter while simultaneously rubbing hands maniacally!!!
Harsha: … There are some things money can’t buy…for everything else there’s MasterCard (c)
stevenh:
This is one of the best lists ever. Nice work. I’m off now to buy up a bunch of these for my youngest daughter, a mad-scientist in training.
All mad scientists need a creepy hunch-back assistant who says “Yes, Master” in a hissy voice. Couldn’t find where to hire a hunchback, so this will have to do.
http://www.hirelittlepeople.com/index.html
don’t forget you also need 1 of the most important items to be complete…..a hunchback assitance, no real mad scientist should be without one!!!!!!!
saffa: hahaha that is brilliant! I wonder if, with stevenh’s permission, I should add it as a bonus…. stevenh?
Crap! I don’t have any of this stuff. Can you get me a list of shops where I can start my shopping?
Rachel: you can buy it all online through the links provided
Be sure to send us photos of your setup when you are done 
LOL This is a great list, I better not show it to my 16 year old son as he would probably try to talk me in to buying these things for him.
JFrater: I seem to be having a problem staying signed in. I sign in and then go to the bottom of the list to comment and I have to type in my nickname and email I am no longer signed in.
saffa: Great link!
Jamie: Dude, It’s your site – Add at will. As many Bonus items that fit…
stormy617: it is a consequence of caching software that was put in to place last night to keep the site up during a huge wave a traffic – you are actually still signed in – just ignore the name and email field and send your message as usual – you might need to refresh the page. I will have the software removed when there is a senior linux tech at the office who can do it
Ok It only seems to be on this new list, when I sign in and go to an older list I stay logged in.
Thanks J now it is showing that I am signed in even on this list.
Damn it! Someone beat me to the mastercard joke
LOL, I want a surgeons head mirror to wear around!
there is one thing you absolutely must have that cannot be bought. it must be practiced. if you cannot a high level of competency in this manner, you might as well hang up your lab coat. i will demonstrate. i have been honing this skill for years.
MWHA, MWHA, MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
it helps if your lab also has some decent echo qualities.
as far as something you can pick up at your local MSSC, Mad Scientist Supply Company, you need chains and pulleys and some sort of overhead track system to move around large omnious things under a sheet on your lab table.
Saffa(#13): That was brilliant! Well done.
gonzo:
Hunchbacks can no longer legally be bought or sold on the open market. Believe me, I know.
Goddamned NAFTA.
A mad scientist should also work in a dreary, musty old cellar or dungeon that is very cob-web laden. This place should be located in a part of the world where there are frequent lightning storms, especially at night.
I just closed a production of a show that required an “electrical claptrap” on stage. I wish I had had this list for that. Thanks! I rarely comment, but always enjoy my visits to List ‘Verse.
Hey! Anyone a child of the 80′s like me? Remember playing with these things?
http://www.dukenostalgia.com/MadSci/MM_toys.html
Great List!!! I want my own Marty Feldman now….
darthbarbie: see comment #27, oh well
Would there be an underground black market source of hunchbacks anywhere? Perhaps in some seedy latin american country? I’m not sure what the penalty on hunchback ***** is, but I’d volunteer to be the coyote if the price is right.
Haha great list
But you forgot something, a castle on a cliff in an area that is always storming 
This may be the craziest list I’ve seen here yet! Nicely done, StevenH. But don’t we need huge electrodes to implant in our creation’s neck? And, for some strange reason, sulphur springs boiling stinkily away in a corner of the lab?
Slick:
***** in hunchbacks can land you in Federal prison, man… or worse, Gitmo. But if you’re caught with just *one,* they’d probably let you off if it’s your first offense. Things get more complicated if said hunchback has already performed certain “tasks” for you…. you know, the usual…. robbing graves, stealing brains, killing the odd village maiden for her fresh, young heart… the feds don’t look kindly on such activities and hunchbacks are notorious for turning state’s witness against “master.” (Usually because of the whippings they’ve had to endure). You could find yourself brought up some nasty charges.
These are the risks of the mad scientist though. My advice–circumvent US customs laws and so on by obtaining a creaky old mansion on some South Seas island where you can experiment in relative peace. Better still, have a supply of local natives around as “test subjects” as needed. Easier to then purchase a hunchback on the black market and have him shipped to your locale. No complicated forms to fill out and no Homeland Security to deal with.
Obscure Eastern European enclaves are of course preferable, but they’ve become fewer and far between since the EU has expanded… then you’re into paying duties and VAT fees of all kinds (you know how the Europeans are–a tax and a fee on everything) and the final cost for a hunchback with reasonable service skills can run you beaucoup bux. With the exchange rate the way it is, it’s even worse. But illegal hunchbackery in Eastern European countries where antiquated 19th century laws are still on the books can result in some nasty penalties–attack by knobkerrie-wielding villagers, then hanging, drawing and quartering–none of which is pleasant.
Depends on if you’re really in it for the mad science, or just doing it as a hobby.
One saving grace: lotsa unemployed Russian hunchbacks who used to do menial tasks in the gulags–feeding gruel to the inmates, whippings, various humiliations–these guys’ll still work for peanuts and can be brought across borders fairly easily. They also make good, servile toadies. Used to being manhandled by low-level commissars. Careful though–some of them liked it.
Good luck!
MartinL: Thank you. And if you know a good source for those electrodes….
You will definitely need a woman who loves you but can never be with you….
Randall: I think we can safely say that that is your best comment to date
loved this list!
Some of these are always a must.
http://members.aol.com/xtalsets/a1meters2.jpg
LOL Great list! I can’t believe you can actually buy all this stuff!
brill
This should be a top 15. Hunchback, castle in always stormy place or bulgaria and operating table should be added.
You forgot the crazy series of tubes (loops, twists, turns, helices) for all the liquids going to random Bunsen burners.
The Eastern European territory sounds tempting, but I hear that the real estate over there in the lower-lying areas is mostly subprime, and the better suited terrain of the Carpathian mountain region is facing a real estate bubble that’s on its way up. Interest rates are through the roof, foreclosures are common in a market struggling from the shrinkage of the mad science industry that the economy is dependent on. Not to mention the dodgy Socialist tax system (Of course, when did a mad scientist ever bother to file for a W-2?) No, it’s just not a buyer’s market in the eastern European countries right now. I liked your idea of the Pacific island, though. A true Moreau-esque landscape, rich with potential for under-the-table human rights violations. Of course, that leads back to the problem of the hunchback. Given the demographics of the region, the eastern European/Russian border area is ripe with the physical deformities and mental capacities of the preferred hunchback model, they work hard, are used to long hours and prolonged periods of gratuitous torture, and will work for table scraps. However, that does bring up the very nasty problem of having to deal with the Russian hunchback connections, and I hear they are a very surly lot. Not too keen on the IOU’s, particularly from hobbyist mad scientists like myself. No, I think a much better solution all around would be to neutralize US Customs involvement and avoid the Russians altogether by probing the mountains of the West Virginia area of the states for a suitable facsimile. I’m sure that the proper requirements can be met in one of the domestic models, and for a much better price. Of course, instead of “Yes, master?” I might have to settle for, “Yeea, Bawss?” but really, it’s all the same. As long as he has a lot of love to give, I’ve got a good home for him.
you forgot, INSANITY!
Blogball: Yes! Hooked to wildly oscillating current, no doubt.
Tables are available here:
http://www.mopec.com/chapter6/ch6_CE_Series_Autopsy_Tables.htm
But because we dont want anything to get away, perhaps one of these:
http://www.handcuffwarehouse.com/hurelobedrek.html
is a better choice.
Yeah. good list but you forgot one fundemental thing about #12, and that is that each of them need to be in a container with bubbling liquid. And there are also the vats of acid!!
jfrater:
Thank you Jamie. I aim to please, and to contribute, in my own humble way, to the entertainment value of your site.
Yours deformedly,
Randall
Loved this list Jammie. I think Rocky Horror had just about all of these. LOL
Randall, SlickWilly; Thank you very much. My day has improved immeasurably. Wonderful.
Slick:
You see my point about Eastern Europe. Once a haven for the mad scientist, its increasing gentrification and high overhead makes it undesirable today. Too bad–that’s still where all the great castles and ruined watchtowers are. Trouble is they’re rapidly becoming bed and breakfasts and the like… even youth hostels. No self-respecting mad scientist wants to worry about serving a continental breakfast on time to the tourists from Mannheim, or worse, Ft. Wayne.
You’re correct about the Russian hunchback market–it *has* fallen under the control of the Russian mafia, and they’re a pack of tough customers. And unlike the old-school criminal element, they have zero respect for the evil genius of the mad scientist, and even less tolerance for slow payments.
I must caution you *against* this idea, however, of resorting to some place like the backwoods of West Virginia to set up your den of evil. A) Such locales are considered “low rent” amongst the mad science set, and you’ll find you’re not taken at all seriously by your peers or even your lackeys and underlings. The blow to your reputation would be near-impossible to recover from. B) While it’s tempting to draw from the slope-browed local workforce, remember that their level of loyalty is notoriously low, and they’ll turn on you for as little as a jug of cheap moonshine. Moreover, remember that the American Lab Slave Union (ALSU) is a pain to deal with, and there’s no use in trying to hire scabs–they might be dumb, these hick hunchbacks, but they know what side is buttered on their bread. Inbred and isolationist, they stick together–sometimes in ways that violate the laws of man and god. C) Speaking of which–there’s no trusting these corn-fed hunchies when you’re back is turned. Buggery is a big problem with this group. Need I say more?
Of course, given your closing statement: “As long as he has a lot of love to give, I’ve got a good home for him” — maybe this last is exactly what you’re looking for.
weird product placement list
I’ve always felt a mad scientist needs a doomsday bomb.
Great list! Brings out the “Doctor” in all of us! hehe
Of course, a speculum would also make a great addition to this list.
nf: and a bout of Dr Strangelove Syndrome (number 5 on that list)
otay: argh! don’t do a search on google images for speculum with safe search turned off!
id like to have one of those knife switches just to turn on the lights in my apartment. that would be pretty sweet to flip that every time i came home
Eric: You DONT want to be fumbling for a knife switch in the dark! ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAP!