Comments on: Top 20 George Carlin Quotes

By: Bill Meadows

Bill Meadows — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 06:22:24 +0000

My Idea for 2012
Elect George Carlin for President this time Let’s Send a Real Dead man to the White House!

By: datel_45

datel_45 — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 10:45:26 +0000

Love those lines

By: adje

adje — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 21:39:19 +0000

He was not an comedian, he was a funny life prophet

By: whatever

whatever — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 10:19:55 +0000

“Religion, easily has, the greatest bull***** story ever told!”

By: Corin

Corin — Tue, 31 May 2011 19:32:41 +0000

What special is this from?

By: Paris

Paris — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 00:25:03 +0000

My favorite George Carlin quote [read: rant =p] I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bicoastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time-to-time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging a bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic; a working rageaholic. Out of rehab, and in denial. I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a believer and an under-achiever, laid back but fashion forward. Up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance. Super-size, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready, and built to last. I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk, head-case. Prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing, a supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I bought a microwave at a mini mall;I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite sized, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.

By: Will Trame

Will Trame — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:25:06 +0000

George Carlin was definitely a unique talent. I recall he was the first host of “Saturday Night Live” back in October 1975. He also starred in a short-lived sitcom on Sunday nights back in the early ’90s. There were some classic funny episodes such as when George finally cleaned his dirty apartment it caused a deadly plague in the city. Another fave featured guest star Tommy Chong. Memorable line form said story: “Hey Man you stole my pot.”

I received his book “Brain Droppings” as a Christmas present. A treasured gift.

R.I.P. George. You departed from this vale of tears too early.

By: hyzong

hyzong — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 23:51:04 +0000

"When you f** someone, you don't pull out. You gotta stay in and f** until they're dead."

I guess that's why our troops have to stay in Iraq and Afghanistan. GC may not be a visionary. He may not see the future, but he can see the truth.

By: Betty Boop

Betty Boop — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:47:13 +0000

Was this guy the first comedian to appear in the BET Network?? Need to know.

By: eydie

eydie — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:27:20 +0000

this is silly, but to this day it’s one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard anyone say. back in the 70′s george was on some variety show doing his “hippy dippy news” skit. he looked gravely at a piece of paper in his hand and said “this just in– 21 killed in 21 gun salute.” i told you it was silly and it always makes me laugh.