The lengths some people go to in the pursuit of beauty (failing that, youthfulness is pretty popular too) is really quite surprising. Even though we have been hearing for decades of the ridiculous-sounding things that our ancestors did to improve their looks and laughing derisively (seriously, the Egyptians used crocodile dung as a type of facial mask!), some of the products we use today are no less weird and disgusting. The list covers 10 of the most bizarre beauty products that are in use today – many of them can even be purchased online. While the top two items on the list are among the most well-known contemporary beauty products we hope you’ll see the reasoning behind their placement. In no particular order:
Collagen injections are used to smooth out frown lines, crows feet wrinkles, and smile lines as well as to give the appearance of full lips. Like botox, this procedure is quite common but where the main ingredient comes from is just bizarre. Notwithstanding the ninth item on this list – there are two main sources of collagen, a protein responsible for skin strength and elasticity, bovine (cow) and… human. About three in 100 people experience an allergic reaction to bovine-derived collagen which has prompted manufacturers to source collagen from aborted fetuses, placentas, and donated cadavers as the probability of an allergic reaction is virtually non-existent. Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.
While the botox procedure to prevent frown lines and wrinkles may sound fairly familiar and commonplace if you think about what you’re having injected into your skin it really is quite bizarre. Botulinum toxin (bo + tox = botox) is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances on the planet and the single most toxic protein. Eating food contaminated with Clostridium botulinum can lead to serious food poisoning (the fatality rate is 5 to 10%) if there is toxin present. One microgram (1/1000000 of a gram) is lethal to humans. The amounts used in cosmetic procedures are consequently very small.
The neurotoxins produced by members of the cobra family of snakes (and some vipers and rattlesnakes) act on prey by blocking the nerve impulses to the muscles and inducing paralysis. Realizing that snake venom could produce a similar effect to that of Botox, the beauty industry has come up with a synthetic form of snake venom that is applied to the face as a cream rather than injected. It is meant to be safer and less invasive. The venom that was used to create the synthetic version comes from ‘snake farms’ in Brazil where thousands of snakes are ‘milked’ for their venom.
According to manufacturers of the product, placenta wrinkle cream derived from bovine placentas can slow down the appearance of visible signs of aging by moisturizing skin and combating wrinkles. Some companies also use plant placenta (yes, flowering plants have placentas!) and even human. Claims were first made in the 1940s (when this idea was first marketed) that the nutrient rich placenta gave off the benefits of hormones and stimulated cell growth. Since the FDA quickly decided that this constituted a medical claim, saying this became illegal in the US. The manufacturers changed these claims to say that the proteins present in the placenta moisturize one’s skin and hair.
How dedicated are you to having smooth, shiny hair? If you’re serious enough there’s the option (in the UK at least) to have a hairdresser massage bull semen into your scalp. The reasoning behind this “ewww” inducing idea? Hair is made up of protein, although essentially your hair is dead, and some proteins can help form a protective layer around the hair. Some people thought it would be a good idea to market protein treatments as a way of keeping your hair healthy anyway. The supposedly ultimate source of concentrated protein? Bull semen.
There is an old Japanese beauty secret making its way over to the western world. It’s called ‘uguisu no fun‘ or sterilized nightingale droppings. An enzyme called guanine (also added to various make up products for its pearly sheen) found in the nightingale’s droppings apparently does a good job of bleaching and exfoliating skin. Kabuki actors and geishas have been using uguisu no fun for hundreds of years to remove make up and to keep their skin soft. The joy of spreading bird excrement on your face doesn’t come as cheap as a jar of Olay though. It’s around twenty US dollars for one ounce. If you’d rather have someone else do the smearing, you can go to the Shizuka Day Spa in New York and $180 later your face will be smooth and soft.
If you’re willing to give the leeches a go, you might also be interested in letting a school of small fish nibble the dead skin cells off your toes. The idea is that you put your feet into a tank containing a species of carp (doctor fish) and wait 15 to 30 minutes while they feast on your calluses. Because the fish are toothless the process is meant to be very safe, as they can only suck off pieces of dead, flaking skin. In Turkey, where the treatment originated, the fish live in natural hot springs and are a popular skin care option for the people who bathe there.
Letting blood-sucking parasites attach their slimy bodies to you as a ‘detox’ sounds like a questionable idea. However, leech therapy, or hirudotherapy, has been practiced since 1020 AD for treating skin disease and helping patients recover from surgery. These days, leeches can be used in the treatment of varicose veins, reducing blood coagulation, and helping stimulate blood circulation in reattached organs that require critical blood flow. If you are more adventurous you can follow in the footsteps of celebrities, such as Demi Moore, and make your way to Austria to have your blood feasted on by the medicinal species of leech, Hirudo medicinalis.
This odd treatment isn’t plastered on your face, or combed through your hair, but eaten instead. Pig’s feet are being marketed as an edible way to combat wrinkles by New York restaurant Hakata Tonton’s owner. He figures that since the tootsies of the pig contain a high amount of collagen (which is used in anti wrinkle creams and lip injections) a person might as well eat them to gain similar benefits. Although collagen is one of the major proteins involved in maintaining skin and muscle tone, consuming a meal of pig trotters is almost certainly a less effective method of keeping the scalpel away than simply maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and staying out of the sun.
Because snails can heal and regenerate their shells using the slime they secrete the beauty industry is now using the slime of the common garden snail species (Helix aspersa) in beauty products. The myriad of claims for its efficacy range from getting rid of acne to improving stretch marks and scarring. The snail secretion, which is also used by the snail to reduce friction as it moves, seems to have anti-bacterial in addition to antioxidant qualities. If it works for the snail, why not put it on your face?
Contributor: downhighway61, and Tempyra
I have actually taken ‘Fish Pedicure’ in Singapore once. Nice List again
I looove the pics, especially the first one!
Thanks, J!
The pics are gross
I know there was a reason why I was such a beautiful baby!
I always used to put snails in my face cause it felt funny.
If anyone needs me I’ll be out in the backyard!!!
Interesting list by the way!
It seems that you can sell anything in the name of enhancing beauty. All woman are beautiful in their own way, I don’t see why we all want to see semi clones of Hollywood woman? If your teeth a skew its your personal design. If your nose is longer than average, so what? Do you only plant one colour and design of flower in your garden?
Number seven looks really cool though, would not mind trying that, must tickle lots!
Clearly, you are not a woman.
And clearly, with a comment like that, you are not intelligent.
So f’n what if the person is not a woman? Does that mean women do not do overboard, and a lot of times, stupid, tedious, unnecessary sh*t just to make themselves “feel pretty”? Of course not. You’re an idiot if you don’t think so.
Why not keep stupid comments to yourself? In the long run it would be beneficial to everybody, including yourself.
All women are beautiful in their own way? Er, take another look at the woman in the picture for #1. That cannot, by any stretch of either imagination or judgment, be called “beautiful”. That is the very epitome of an old bag trying desperately to cling to the last shreds of youth and failing really hard. The thought of kissing or having ***** with that made me feel like puking – and I’m no Prince Charming myself!
Hey, I was the first commenter here. Wow, that’s a great feeling
Oh, what a fantastic list to read while I eat my bacon, eggs, and beans. :[
Thanks for giving me nightmares! Holy crap, #1 will haunt my mind for the rest of my life.
Stewart – ‘All woman are beautiful in their own way’. Like that. And yes, #7 is really worth going for. I dont know whether it made my legs beautiful or not but it was an awesome experience. It is not also very expensive.
Fantastic list, ladies! I love being a low-maintenance gal, myself, so no crazy crap like this for me.
people are nuts.
God must be shaking his head sometimes.
Aweesome pics and people.
I expected this list to be something about Olympics.
Great list! I doubt some of these work!
How long has “snail slime cream” existed? Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s Bull*****? A couple seasons ago, they were trying fake beauty treatments on people as a joke, and one of them was snail slime (though they used straight up snails).
“All woman are beautiful in their own way”.
In general I agree to this. But look at the first picture and tell me she is beautiful… do it….
There´s nothing wrong with pig´s feet. At least in Spain they are a perfectly normal food that you can find in a lot of restaurants and shops. When used as food, they are not called feet but “manos” (hands) which, I guess, sounds less gross.
I don´t remember if I have ever tried them or not but this is because being such a normal dish I wouldn´t have thought much about it. Every part of the pig is used here and I have yet to find one I don´t like. I even eat pig´s ears which taste very good (properly cooked)but I admit the texture is a little gross (not surprisingly, you really feel you are muching on an ear).
The others in this list I do find gross, except the fish pedicure which I have somewhat experienced naturally in a beach in Mexico and found quite relaxing.
BULL SEMEN
Diamond_Dragon: SHE probably is beautiful…all those dead animals and prisoners cover it up though
Here is the woman form #1 in her younger days.
[IMG]http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm146/Saxo-phone/draft_lens1369223module2241365photo.jpg[/IMG]
The woman in the first picture is Jocelyn Wildenstein (the ‘catwoman’ aka the Lion Queen or the Bride of Wildenstein). I think she was featured on another list, Ten Ugliest Women or something. Cosmetic surgery, I think, is responsible for much of her facial features – probably more than collagen is.
I’ll keep my wrinkles just the way they are, thank you very much! And there’s no way I’d let those fish nibble at my feet–too ticklish.
Wonder how the fish work on Atheletes Foot?
That’s funny, Scuba.
On an island resort in Korea a few days ago I was given a bar of rice powder cactus beauty soap, and bought my sisters a bar of rape beauty soap. The “grandfather statue” symbol of the island is worrying phallic in shape. (That’s Brassica napus, also known as rape, oilseed rape, rapa, rapaseed and canola, in case you’re wondering. Or at least I hope it is!)
Excellent list! Great job DH and Tempyra. The snail slime and the bull semen were new to me. I think I’ll pass on all of these. Although, the little fish nibblers does sound slightly titillating …….
ScubaSteve: I thought of the same character when I saw the picture for #1!
I’d like to get a fish pedicure, only because they’re cute, and it would tickle. My feet are beyond help!
Do leeches hurt a lot?
man, the lengths some people will go for beauty….
Great list!
Always new ways to make people look better. I wonder if anything can actually enhance your beauty, or if they’re all placebos? Though I wouldn’t mind getting fairer skin… not sure how thrilled I am by having a feces-face. There’s one for the office.
I thought ‘getting *****-faced’ was a term relating to a 12 pack of Busch Light followed by Jaeger bombs.
Kinda makes you wonder who the first person to try that, doesn’t it?
Damn birds just ***** all over my face.
Don’t worry, just wipe it off.
Wow my skin feels really soft and wrinkle free!
Let’s go get some more and sell it!
How exactly do we get those birds to ***** in our little jars?
The same way we got the bull to splay his DNA into the jar dummy.
Great Job Ladies!
Every summer, at our cottage, we would make the hour trek up the creek to the falls. The water falls eroded out a fairly large swimming hole just full of those nibbler fish. It is a interesting sensation to say the least.
Who knew I could have taken folks with me and charged for the experience? Another missed opportunity, Damn.
Lipsticks used to be made with shark’s liver oil.
Great list, too.
Gah!
I’m so glad my mom taught me to take care of my skin every day so I won’t have to worry about squirting poison into my face in 20 years.
Fun fact time:
People used to eat tapeworms to be thing (you can find vintage ads for it online)
You can shoot botox into your armpits to stop sweating for however long botox lasts (notice how celebrities almost never have pit stains on the red carpet?)
They just started fish pedicures in either Virginia or DC (it’s kind of the same anyway, VA or MD should just absorb poor Washingtion) but somewhere closeish to me. I was thinking about it but it’s sort of freaky.
thin, not thing
Even if these things actually worked the way the manufacturers say they will, the fish pedicure is the only one I would touch with a 10 foot pole.
@26 – Claire, I’ve heard leeches don’t hurt. In fact you don’t feel them at all because when they attach, they secrete an *****gesic that numbs the skin in the area. You wouldn’t even know they were there.
The placenta wrinkle cream reminded me of a great short film called “Dumplings” by Fruit Chan. You can find it on the Three Extremes DVD. Synopsis: “An aging actress wishing to reclaim her youth goes to a woman who makes dumplings that supposedly have regenerative properties. However, they contain a gruesome secret ingredient.” The other two shorts are excellent as well.
Does any *want* to know how they get the bull semen for your hair… Must take a LOT of work.
Geez, who HASN’T had bull semen in their hair?
I laugh at women who use botox. It doesn’t make you look younger or beautiful. It makes you look like an expressionless jackass.
That was … enlightening. Think I’ll keep my wrinkles and stretch marks, thanks!
I feel for Jocelyn Wildenstein (picture number one). Isn’t there a point where using a lot of plastic surgery becomes an actual disorder?
In Mexico is very common to eat Pig’s foot, and there’s a special recipe. In fact is very delicious.
But no, it doesn’t help the skin. Well, at least no one in Mexico has ever noticed it.
Ambergris is used for perfumes by the way.
It’s basically whale bile.
beware…
This is one of those things that just make you say “What?”
Even though, when I was a teen, I was a model and actress, and later, after 6 years of full time Uni, marriage, motherhood, divorce, working in the film biz, my beauty routine (even to this day) has never altered.
I use simple, inexpensive, Olay products for cleansing and moisturizing. I look (I am told by everyone) at least 15 -20 years younger than my real age.
When I look at the poor woman in #1, who is actually one of the richest women, I feel both pity and anger.
Pity for her, because she was a perfectly lovely woman before all of the surgeries began. Pity because her husband wasn’t man enough to tell her he loved her just as she was, and that she needed no changes to either keep his love, or compete with the other women in their circle.
Anger is directed mainly at the doctors, who time after time, performed needless and harmful surgeries, compounding the butcheries already inflected upon this woman.
Anger, too, that no Psychiatrist put a stop to what the woman herself was obviously unable, by this time, to stop herself.
Anger at the husband, who let it get out of hand in the first place.
**
On A Lighter Note
Snail Slime Cream
Not on your life.!
I have one very strict rule in life, and I have very few strict rules, “Never eat, or apply to ones body, something that under ordinary conditions, one would leave poison bait out for”.
I’m going to start a salon where I offer fish pedicures! But (for a much higher price) I will offer piranah fish pedicures – with a lifetime warranty that you will never need another pedicure.
This is another great list, but I think it’s sad that people are so concerned about trying to maintain a youthful appearance that they would subject themselves to things like this. What’s so wrong with aging gracefully? I think a well-maintained fifty year old is much more attractive than a forty year old who is trying to look as if they are in their early twenties (and invariably failing).
There is a reason it’s called uguisu no fun. It’ no fun!
segue She is tying to look like a cat. Extreme plastic surgery. Even her teeth are altered.
Tempyra (20) I was gonna say that too.
bucslim (29) That was too funny! I raelly am laughing out loud. People are looking at me. Im in the LIBRARY. From now on give a heads up. Like: Warning Humor Ahead.
art_madd (16) The stores around here sell pigs feet, too. Just packaged right next to all the other meat.
“Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.”
You call that more morally outraging than taking it from aborted fetuses!?
frank: I said possibly. Not all people are morally opposed to abortion. But don’t start arguing about that here – the abortion Your View is more the place for that debate.
Well researched and written.
Very nice job. Interesting.
Has nobody noticed that these are in reverse order from what they should be? I missed that fact until I realized the fish entry referred back to the leech entry, which I hadn’t actually read yet. Whoops!
31. JB:
I know I’m not a registered user.
But please try to use another nickname to avoid the confusion.
Interesting list. I never though bukake was a beauty product.
Bull semen? Bird crap? For the love of God,placenta cream!? What has gotten into these people? Great list,by the way.
Bob: Yeah, the order was intended to be the other way around. Not sure what happened there.
Thanks for all the compliments people! Downhighway61 and I had fun compiling this list.
Some things we decided against putting on the list were soap made from human breast milk, skin lotion made from human sperm extract, shark eggs (I can’t remember what the product was for), and bee mucus skin cream. One I just saw today is a shampoo from Brazil that contains bone marrow from oxen.
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45. Vera Lynn
segue She is tying to look like a cat. Extreme plastic surgery. Even her teeth are altered.
****
OMG!
She’s done this on purpose?!?!?!?!?!
segue:
Yep. You can see her ‘progress’ in this series of photos:
http://kecy.roumen.cz/archive/Jocelyn_Wildenstein-tak_jde_cas.jpg
She used to be quite pretty I think.
Gee thanks for that link Tempyra, I’m eating lunch for crying out loud. I felt a tangible bile thrust as the page opened.
Never mind the cat look she’s striving for, looks more like something I found in the cat box.
the fish therapy thing is actually really cool. one of my friends got one and they said it was really awesome
bucslim: Not my fault you couldn’t help clicking the link
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55. Tempyra
segue:
Yep. You can see her ‘progress’ in this series of photos:…
She used to be quite pretty I think.
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Thank you, Tempyra.
She was pretty.
She must be profoundly mentally disturbed. That is the only conclusion I can come up with that makes *any* sense at all. What I mean by that, is that her sense of self-worth, and her self image, are completely at odds with reality.
None of us see ourselves exactly as we are, but this poor woman…I just don’t know what to say.
I feel so sorry for her.
***
BTW, I’ve been meaning to ask for a long while now about your nick.
Burning time?
Fleeting fire?
Tempyra – It’s on this list, I can argue about however much I *****ing want. You can’t tell me what to do.