The lengths some people go to in the pursuit of beauty (failing that, youthfulness is pretty popular too) is really quite surprising. Even though we have been hearing for decades of the ridiculous-sounding things that our ancestors did to improve their looks and laughing derisively (seriously, the Egyptians used crocodile dung as a type of facial mask!), some of the products we use today are no less weird and disgusting. The list covers 10 of the most bizarre beauty products that are in use today – many of them can even be purchased online. While the top two items on the list are among the most well-known contemporary beauty products we hope you’ll see the reasoning behind their placement. In no particular order:
Collagen injections are used to smooth out frown lines, crows feet wrinkles, and smile lines as well as to give the appearance of full lips. Like botox, this procedure is quite common but where the main ingredient comes from is just bizarre. Notwithstanding the ninth item on this list – there are two main sources of collagen, a protein responsible for skin strength and elasticity, bovine (cow) and… human. About three in 100 people experience an allergic reaction to bovine-derived collagen which has prompted manufacturers to source collagen from aborted fetuses, placentas, and donated cadavers as the probability of an allergic reaction is virtually non-existent. Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.
While the botox procedure to prevent frown lines and wrinkles may sound fairly familiar and commonplace if you think about what you’re having injected into your skin it really is quite bizarre. Botulinum toxin (bo + tox = botox) is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances on the planet and the single most toxic protein. Eating food contaminated with Clostridium botulinum can lead to serious food poisoning (the fatality rate is 5 to 10%) if there is toxin present. One microgram (1/1000000 of a gram) is lethal to humans. The amounts used in cosmetic procedures are consequently very small.
The neurotoxins produced by members of the cobra family of snakes (and some vipers and rattlesnakes) act on prey by blocking the nerve impulses to the muscles and inducing paralysis. Realizing that snake venom could produce a similar effect to that of Botox, the beauty industry has come up with a synthetic form of snake venom that is applied to the face as a cream rather than injected. It is meant to be safer and less invasive. The venom that was used to create the synthetic version comes from ‘snake farms’ in Brazil where thousands of snakes are ‘milked’ for their venom.
According to manufacturers of the product, placenta wrinkle cream derived from bovine placentas can slow down the appearance of visible signs of aging by moisturizing skin and combating wrinkles. Some companies also use plant placenta (yes, flowering plants have placentas!) and even human. Claims were first made in the 1940s (when this idea was first marketed) that the nutrient rich placenta gave off the benefits of hormones and stimulated cell growth. Since the FDA quickly decided that this constituted a medical claim, saying this became illegal in the US. The manufacturers changed these claims to say that the proteins present in the placenta moisturize one’s skin and hair.
How dedicated are you to having smooth, shiny hair? If you’re serious enough there’s the option (in the UK at least) to have a hairdresser massage bull semen into your scalp. The reasoning behind this “ewww” inducing idea? Hair is made up of protein, although essentially your hair is dead, and some proteins can help form a protective layer around the hair. Some people thought it would be a good idea to market protein treatments as a way of keeping your hair healthy anyway. The supposedly ultimate source of concentrated protein? Bull semen.
There is an old Japanese beauty secret making its way over to the western world. It’s called ‘uguisu no fun‘ or sterilized nightingale droppings. An enzyme called guanine (also added to various make up products for its pearly sheen) found in the nightingale’s droppings apparently does a good job of bleaching and exfoliating skin. Kabuki actors and geishas have been using uguisu no fun for hundreds of years to remove make up and to keep their skin soft. The joy of spreading bird excrement on your face doesn’t come as cheap as a jar of Olay though. It’s around twenty US dollars for one ounce. If you’d rather have someone else do the smearing, you can go to the Shizuka Day Spa in New York and $180 later your face will be smooth and soft.
If you’re willing to give the leeches a go, you might also be interested in letting a school of small fish nibble the dead skin cells off your toes. The idea is that you put your feet into a tank containing a species of carp (doctor fish) and wait 15 to 30 minutes while they feast on your calluses. Because the fish are toothless the process is meant to be very safe, as they can only suck off pieces of dead, flaking skin. In Turkey, where the treatment originated, the fish live in natural hot springs and are a popular skin care option for the people who bathe there.
Letting blood-sucking parasites attach their slimy bodies to you as a ‘detox’ sounds like a questionable idea. However, leech therapy, or hirudotherapy, has been practiced since 1020 AD for treating skin disease and helping patients recover from surgery. These days, leeches can be used in the treatment of varicose veins, reducing blood coagulation, and helping stimulate blood circulation in reattached organs that require critical blood flow. If you are more adventurous you can follow in the footsteps of celebrities, such as Demi Moore, and make your way to Austria to have your blood feasted on by the medicinal species of leech, Hirudo medicinalis.
This odd treatment isn’t plastered on your face, or combed through your hair, but eaten instead. Pig’s feet are being marketed as an edible way to combat wrinkles by New York restaurant Hakata Tonton’s owner. He figures that since the tootsies of the pig contain a high amount of collagen (which is used in anti wrinkle creams and lip injections) a person might as well eat them to gain similar benefits. Although collagen is one of the major proteins involved in maintaining skin and muscle tone, consuming a meal of pig trotters is almost certainly a less effective method of keeping the scalpel away than simply maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and staying out of the sun.
Because snails can heal and regenerate their shells using the slime they secrete the beauty industry is now using the slime of the common garden snail species (Helix aspersa) in beauty products. The myriad of claims for its efficacy range from getting rid of acne to improving stretch marks and scarring. The snail secretion, which is also used by the snail to reduce friction as it moves, seems to have anti-bacterial in addition to antioxidant qualities. If it works for the snail, why not put it on your face?
Contributor: downhighway61, and Tempyra
frank: I think you need two people for an argument.
segue: As much as I like to burn things, Tempyra isn’t (as far as I know) anything to do with fire. It’s the name of a Thracian town that Ovid mentions in his poem Tristia (Vol. I 9, 19). I came across it by chance, liked the shape of the word, and named my blog after it. Since then I’ve started using it as my nic pretty much everywhere I go online
Nice entertaining list downhighway61, and Tempyra !
# 5: What a bunch of BS.
It’s great to come back from vacation and see all of the great lists from the past 5 days. The quality of the lists has defiantly gone up a couple of notches.
Hey, no wonder I have such a flawless complexion: I grew up in Ireland eating pigs’ trotters — ‘crubeens’ — at least once a week. Used to be v popular. I’m sure their cholesterol level is off the scale, & it’s a pain separating all the little bones form the edible bits, but they’re delicious.
My partner had a treatment like #4 involving being nibbled all over by tiny fish in China recently, just to experience it. She loved the tickling sensations. Thank Christ she has no interest in trying to reverse the flow of time with lotions & potions & absurd practices.
Great list, funny & disconcerting.
Haha, i thought i would be the only one who thought the tiny fish thing would be kinda fun.
I had a conversation recently with someone about how Nicole Kidman looked really great while she was pregnant. Glowy and not so plastic. He pointed out that you shouldn’t get Botox while pregnant, and she probably looked great in part because she had stopped freezing her face.
The fishy pedicure looks like fun! And ticklish.
greta list!
when I was teenager, I used to wash my hair in beer. not Old Milwaukee, but not Samuel Adams’ Utopia either. (usually my Dad’s amber Bock or Heineken)
I grew up in South Carolina, and during one of my any memorable trips to the barrier islands, I met a delightful, elderly, stereo-typic African-slave descendant, voodoo-type holy woman. she told me over sun-brewed sweet tea and tea cakes that when she was young, girls would rub the pee-diapers of newborn babies on their faces to combat acne.
now, i can’t say it’s true or not, but it does make some sense… maybe the uric acid or something? either way, i never tried it…
rtr
i saw the fish pedicure on the news once. apperantly its very relaxing. i would try it!
oh and great list!
Callie: You can still buy tapeworms online to lose weight. They run about $1300. http://www.wormtherapy.com/
Other JB: Sorry, dear!
Ginny..
That is horrifying. I’m all for being a healthy weight but bleh *shivers* No thank you.
Frank, dude..Get a life.
My grandmother used to eat pickled pigs feet as a snack. I almost passed out the first time I saw her pull one out of the jar and start gobbling it up. Ewwwwww.
um
eweweewewewewewewew.
Whenever I read a list like this, or watch show like Bizarre Foods, I always wonder, how did this start?? Like bull semen. Who was the first person to put bull semen in his hair, AND be able to convice others to do likewise?? Or with some of those exotic foods, like fermented tofu. Who was walking around and saw a fermented piece of tofu and said “boy, THAT looks tasty! NOM NOM NOM”
everyone realises none of this works, right?
Frank sure as hell sounds like a *****ed of *****le-faced teenager when mommy told you you weren’t alloed to go out
:D:D
70. JAB:
don’t worry. It’s an easy coincidence
Davo-
Well, Botox actually works, as does collagen. Some of them seemed to be more legit than others.
i know a guy who sells the snail slime.
Holy Bajeebus!. I think I just learned how to make a fortune!
great list.
If anyone wants a $5 off discount for shopping at the list universe store, email me (jamie @ frater dot com) with your email address. 4 up for grabs! First in first served.
What about telomerase in Revive skin products? Telomerase runs 1 million USD per ounce. Yes, really one million USD.
Nice list ladies, well done.
I do feel slightly nauseous now though. I’m so glad I’m relatively low maintenance!!
The list seems to be upside down.
the snake looks like it’s crying
So, if you apply snail slime then eat a salty meal, will your face shrivel up like a raisin?
———-
#51, JB: “Interesting list. I never though bukake was a beauty product.”
Actually, from what I hear it actually is quite good for a person’s skin due to the high levels of protein. It’s just that most people find the application too revolting to contemplate (and understandably so.)
Wildenstein looks like she had the Bovine treatment, but instead of using the bottox, the doctor thought “***** it, this must be the 20th time i’ve had to do this to this hideous woman, i’m putting in the whole *****ing cow in this time”
Did the text on the lists get bigger or is my computer acting up?
Disgusting….to us. Of course, as some people have already mentioned on this list, particularly concerning pig’s feet, when no one around you is squeamish about a certain object/practice, and you live around that your whole life, it wouldn’t occur to you to think that rubbing semen on your face or urine in your hair would be strange. That doesn’t explain the recent trend of shooting botulism into your face to look younger though…There could be an interesting tangent here about why “looking old” is so terrible in western society. In other societies, “elders” are revered, and people wear their age with pride.
Remember guys…”if you don’t feed the trolls, they’ll go away”
frank lighten up
Vile…some are just VILE.
JFrator: you got my mail?
Great list! I actually bought placenta for my hair once. It was sheep placenta, supposedly harvested naturally at birth. I reluctantly used one of the little bottles, and it felt so wrong! I never used it again, besides, it did nothing for my hair.
pankhudi: yes – just got it – thanks.
Gag! Just about anything completely disgusting supposedly has “age-defying properties” these days, doesn’t it?
Ring-tail Roxy, your comment made me think of how the Romans used to gargle pee to clean their teeth. Either way, wiping a dirty diaper on your face or gargling with it- so sick!
Jessy (90) Because men leave women who look “Old” They always have and they always will. So women try to fight back. It has become a competition between “girls” and “women” But no man wants a woman. They all want a “girl” Truer than you know. Ask any man. A 25 yr old who weighs 160, or a 45 tr old who weighd 130. The 25 yr old comes first always. Firmer breasts, etc. No competition.
And that’s leaving out grey hair, child-bearing stretch marks, etc.
Men are selfish. It’s killing us women.
bull semen. i think it will make your hair stand a la mary in “there’s something about mary”. just a thought.
I think I’d like to try the fish one. About #9, pig’s foot: it might be true about the wrinkles but its also very fattening. Don’t eat too much of it. Asians have some very nice way of cooking them so you should try it at least once in your life!
ewww…
I’ll just smile often and be happy with life. That’s the best anti-aging treatment.
The girl in the collagen injections looks horrible. (at least that girl who repetitively haunted me in my dreams last May doesn’t look anything like her. IT BURNS!)
Philosopher – it makes me glad I’m GAY
the 1st pics, is it a wax or real human? anyone know?
“Because men leave women who look “Old” They always have and they always will. So women try to fight back. It has become a competition between “girls” and “women” But no man wants a woman. They all want a “girl” Truer than you know. Ask any man. A 25 yr old who weighs 160, or a 45 tr old who weighd 130. The 25 yr old comes first always. Firmer breasts, etc. No competition.
And that’s leaving out grey hair, child-bearing stretch marks, etc.
Men are selfish. It’s killing us women.”
Do you not think that a similar competition exists between males? Honestly, women are not the only ones to suffer from feeling old. Also, let’s not try to pretend that women are not just as (if not more) selfish than men.
There are so many factors regarding what a man likes in a woman. True, physical appearance is very important, but what ABOUT the appearance varies from man to man. Some men like a booty, some men like breasts, some like the girl small, some like her a bit chunky.
The underlying reason women get these absurd treatments is that they do not feel worthy. Sure, a man can say she’s beautiful, but if he is constantly comparing her to other girls, she will feel inadequate. The best advice for men: be consumed with only her.
Weeeeird. Except the fish one. Hope to do that someday.
Well done DH61 and Tempyra! Interesting and bizarre! Loved it!
WTF!!!
Just curious, how does one go about convincing a bull to give a semen sample. I guess the bull goes to a clinic and is given a cup and put in a room with bovine-***** mags and videos!
‘Uguisu no fun‘, bird poo, really?? No fun indeed!
Wasn’t there are tv special about women who’d go to any lenght for beauty. A plastic surgeon said that he once got a request from a lady to cut off her small toe on either foot so that she could fit into a smaller size shoe. These people need serious help!!
15. Diamond Dragon
-Well now I don’t agree that all women are beautiful, although she can be a big hit in some cultures but not in mine!
19. ScubaSteve- lol so funny, man!
32. Callie
Fun fact time:
People used to eat tapeworms to be thing (you can find vintage ads for it online)
Ewww…. I read the list on the disgusting parasites before I registered an account. I didn’t comment because I was made speechless about the nastiness of the pics, esp. the tapeworm one!
The snake farms make me shudder.
Most of these are way out-of-my-league… but if given the opportunity… I would probably try the bull semen one! It’s just a little protein. I’ve put eggs in my hair before… made it really shiny. I don’t see how semen is any worse… if you really think about it.
Many things that all sorts of humans consume/use/do are extremely strange, though it doesn’t seem like it because we have always been conditioned that they’re normal things…
I wonder how effective it is for #10 to market their product with pictures of the snail on the box. Because I feel like that would be really dissuading, but then again I wouldn’t pay for someone to ***** bull semen in my hair either. I guess I am too rational.
I wonder if one day in old age when the socialites and actors/actresses alike reflect back on their lifetime, will feel silly having injected cells from fetuses into their lips for the sake of vanity.
Yep, these are all pretty crazy. I WOULD like to try the fish pedicure someday though, I have heard that it’s very effective (sounds fun too if it’s not too expensive hehehe)
Oh and harvesting cells from fetuses, placenta, and dead prisoners sounds like something out of a dystopian sci-fi…
Or soylent greens even
It’s shock if one is probably not from one these or similar culture. For me the fish and pedicure treatment seems quite usual..again if you are from the area it seems quite less shocking.
I would love to try the fish treatment. It sounds (and looks) like a fantastic time!!
Another seemingly bizarre beauty idea, although from the article the science behind the procedure seems a bit more solid than most of the items on the list.
24-carat gold facelift
I would try the fish treatment, merely for the fun of it. The fish are litterally getting there breakfast from you lol!
i think i just puked in my mouth……how could anyone put old (presumably) bull jizz in their hair? are they not worried that it won’t come out all the way? ughhhhhhh. anyway this is a great list. these things are mostly for people who have too much time and money to spend on their looks. the fish feet thing is just gross that they eat your skin. animal cruelty?
if you feel you need to look like a “girl” instead of a an aging woman, then you should see a therapist. there is no reason you should want a man who wants a girl….find a quality guy who is not a pedophile….
besides that….yuck, bull semen…….
beff (119)How old are you? There’s a difference between a girl (not legal) and a girl (under 30). There is a difference between a “woman” (30 +) and an aging (AGING!!!) woman who is 50+.
Men leave 40s for 20s if/when they can. Always have, always will. No matter what. ALL MEN CHEAT!!! All Men.