It has been a while since we had a “vanity” post. The previous ones have been in honor of such important things as my birthday, but this time we will let the light shine on you – the commenters. The best thing about this list is that the items were chosen by our readers and they were all made by our readers. So how did this happen? On the forums, astraya decided to start a thread of all time funniest listverse comments. Six pages later we have a nice selection. I have gathered together ten of them to present here – and if this is a popular list I will do more in future.
Original List: Your View: What is the worst human invention?
longball: the womans vibrator
Saffa: So you have no problem with a man’s vibrator?
Original List: Top 10 Bizarre Medical Anomalies
List Item 1: Diphallia is a condition in which a male is born with two penises.
Baxter: I wish I had diphallia. Triphallia is a bitch.
Original List: Top 10 Books Of All Time
[JFrater: Next time you think I am not a tolerant moderator, remember this conversation - kiwiboi is my brother - making this a particularly personal discussion.]
bucslim: Holy shit! Isn’t it one of the signs of the apocalypse when Randall and I are on the same side?
kiwiboi: bucslim – maybe you guys oughta get a room…
bucslim: I will, just as soon as I’m done with your Mom.
kiwiboi: Huh ? You mean you’ve finished with yours already ??
bucslim: She’s ok, but not as good as your sister.
kiwiboi: Maybe…but at least your dad says you’re still as tight as a little pink drum
bucslim: He said that after he was done with you.
Randall: amateurs.
Randall: see now, “tight as a little pink drum” is funny.
kiwiboi: Aw c’mon bucslim…you need to be more inventive than that. For example, I could say to you that the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand tore through the toilet paper
bucslim: No, the last time I got a piece of ass was with your sister.
Original List: Top 15 Movies About High School
Mortivore: @bucslim: Wow. You seriously just made my day. That was probably the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Of course, I spent my day making funeral arrangements for my recently deceased grand mother … But still.
Original List: Top 10 Major League Pitchers
jajdude: Curveballed guns on the list – baseball is my favorite remedy for insomnia and preventing premature ejacs yo.
jfrater: jajdude: I constantly hope that one day I will understand your comments
Iain: Actually JF – that was one of JAJs more comprehensible comments – to paraphrase – ‘Baseball is so boring it can send you to sleep and thinking about it during sex can prevent ejaculation.” – and I tend to agree.
Original List: Top 10 Major League Pitchers
Enoooo: I’m sure most Americans think European sports are dumb/boring.
segue: … Rugby is catching on. My younger daughter started playing 10 years ago, became a hooker, and now, a prop. She also coaches youth rugby.
bucslim: segue, sorry to hear about your daughter becoming a hooker. One piece of advice, I’m not sure you want her coaching rugby to youngsters. When the other parents find out what she does for extra cash, they might not be too happy about it.
segue: @bucslim: Silly boy.
Original List: Your View: Should Creationism Be Taught In Schools?
Anon: @Kaye “I believe people chose evolution over cheation …”
Some of us go the whole hog and spell it ‘cheating’, Kaye.
Original List: 10 Books That Changed America
Randall: Are we going to argue about contemporary poetry? Please. I haven’t the time. Poetry, after all, is a dead form. No one reads it and only academics are writing it (and pretentious types, who as always write crap, and never go away).
Cheeshygirl: @Randall – “(and pretentious types, who as always write crap, and never go away).”
So, you’ve started writing poetry?
Original List: Your View: Should Creationism Be Taught In Schools?
Kerra: Anon, You give the average high school student far too much intellectual credit. They are no inquisitive and curious. Their hormones rule almost their every action, and if its not hormones its hunger.
Anon: Kerra, Thanks. I’m greatly relieved to hear that. Saves everyone a lot of time [and] trouble. Seems we might shove Creationism out of the curric[ulum] reckoning and give sex education and lunch hour a bit more time instead then! Hohoho.
segue: Anon, you left out the comma between sex and education.
Original List: Top 10 Fascinating Facts That Are Wrong
JayArr: Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
I solte tihs form teh itneernt.
Anon: amishtlnbasintdiiariatsesenm
lo: anon – antidisastablismentarianism?
lo: i meant antidisestablishmentarianism, of course
swampsnake: Anon: oh that was good i almost pseisd myself
Contributors: The forum regulars
i love lists about this site… they bring out the best in all of us
#2 is the funniest =))
lol no. 2, that was a hilarious call
its plain to see that everyone is going to be trying to write funny comments now just to do better than these XP
LOL
Funniest comment yet…
OMG, I actually laughed out loud at these and received several dirty looks from my otherwise silent office colleagues!
I love jajdudes comments and i agree with jfrater… hopefully we’ll be able to understand them soon!
But Ani, did you snort coffee through your nose/spit it all over the keyboard?
hehe, i’ve been waiting to see the top ten from that forum! You got all my favs!
Would be pretty ironic if there was a bunch of funny jokes right here, wouldn’t it?
http://listverse.com/2007/09/19/10-common-english…
see: Bonus 2
ChickyBee – luckily I was not drinking coffee at the time otherwise im sure I would have!
Oh of course. I read through that entire forum a few days ago and NOW you dredge through all of that and put everything amusing on a nice silver platter. -_-
Ah well, still a fun list, and a delightful idea for a series *hint hint*.
I laughed so hard at #5 I got a cramp! LOL
Wow #6 – you’ve made my day! I’d like to thank the Academy for this honour and Jajdude without whom it would not have been possible.
ahahaha
bucslim’s great punchline at #8
now thats funny
How can anyone over 15 actually find this funny? Oh I forget, this is a sit for intellectuals.
lmfao. This was funny
HAHA ROFLMAO – I remember #10…funny. This list rocks!
This was hilarious! I’ve laughed so hard tears are streaming!
Hahaha they all made me LOL.
Listverse Fans Post The Darndest Things!
“jfrater: jajdude: I constantly hope that one day I will understand your comments.”
Top Ten Most Incomprehensible jajdude comments.
That would be a fun list! Keep those “Guns” comments coming jajdude. I for one enjoy them.
I do hope that we see another 10 Hilarious Listverse Comments list. This one was great!
I agree with Senor Shutter, I hope jajdude never goes away. yo.
I don’t read the forums (because I keep forgetting they’re there!) but #3 was the best (imho).
site
Bucslim FTW! I hope this list encourages more people to frequent the forums!
Heh. Busy, busy, busy as I am at work…I’m just gonna have to find the time to vist LV more often. I forgot how much fun it is.
And bucslim is most definitely my comedy hero!
Woot! I’m number 3 on a list. I feel so honored. That was the first time I ever spoke to Randall. In case anyone’s wondering, he took it in good humor. *blows kisses to Randall*
i thought jamie’s comment to jajdude was the best. only part of the overall post but easily the best line. and agree a list of jajdudes comments would be a very entertaining one.
Comments about comments, we just invented Web 4.0
bwahahahahahahahaha….thud.
haha number 1 was excellent
Gotta give it up to Anon and my girl Cheezy. That comeback was awesome.
I remember that exchange with kiwi, my boss walked in when I was typing the last ‘s’ in the word ass. Sorta wished I had the ‘boss button’ that day. Reviews are coming up next month. I’m sure I’ll hear about that comment again.
nice job dude
that’s it! i am sooo going to the forums on a regular basis now… these where sooo funny…especially the part about Randall writing poetry…
rtr
Oh, and you forgot Dazed and Confused. And I’m pretty sure you mixed up the descriptions of 16 Candles with Pretty in Pink.
Come to the forums! We’re nice!
p.s. Buc I love you
1, 2 and 5 are terrific, I love this site
Callie – Because of your comment, my Jacobson’s Organ is prickling and my Junk DNA just stood up and turned red.
You know I a sucker for a woman in pink flop-eared hats, you little super vixen!
I love starting the day with a laugh. Great collection of comments from regulars.
funny?..yes, but we need more of these:)
Makes me wish I had been reading these lists longer. There’s nothing quite like building up a rapport with people who I will never meet…
Haahaha Bucslim #5 & #8 made me LOL right at my desk!!!
that was really good!
thank you
I know what you mean Travis…
I didn’t make the list. I’m just gonna go burn my computer you guys. bucslim I take my hat of to you.
i like nickels
What are your feelings about dimes?
Jfrater: I can’t believe it, I can’t get into the forums. Again.
Very fun list and I hope you do it again. With your sister, of course.
Ahh nice. I wanna hand it to bucslim and Randall for being upstanding members of the the dickcheesz elite. Maybe we will run into each other on pills at DisneyWorld some day. You never know….
Ahhhhhhhhhh. So my living has not (quite) been (entirely) in vain.
My vote goes to 2 and 3 as an honorable tie. Dorothy Parker would have been proud of either. When you use an optical glass to focus the sun’s rays and start a fire, you try to get that little bright spot downsized. Those two get it as tiny and burning hot as can be.
Jajdude is the best… I wonder what a real-life conversation would be like with him.
# 33 SoCalJeff I agree with you, but I end my day with a laugh – I only get the list +- 6 pm in the evenings.
Good list though thanks guys.
Holy crap! I never thought I’d be on a list. ^-^ This makes my day. I love this list. XD
Jfrater- I hope you soon include a list about great funny stories, not only witty replies.
I specially cherish one from Anon in “Top Ten tips for winning an argument” regarding his 90 year old gardener Don Carlos which was hilarious.
Great list, or should it be Metalist?
Oh my! These are amazingly funny! Even the ones I’m not in (
)!
Seriously, thank you astraya, for putting this list together in Forums. I read it everyday, just for the chuckles I knew it would bring me. I’m honored to be included in a couple of the above.
# 9 made my week
It’s really a great list- let’s the commenters shine. Glad to see familiar names. And I’m very surprised to see how WIDE OPEN Randall left himself on #3. Thanks for making me laugh.
Good stuff, I LOL’ed much. But I’m sure there are lots of other hilarious comments that could build up to dozens of lists as funny as this one.
Oh, and you know what? We’re putting up comments about comments, or as I like to call them, Metacomments! Ooh, that’s so cool and modern!
See? This place IS the future of the internet!
Oh gyus, cmoma oen in 2nd etnry was spmily geart.
But ppoele say, I lekid the fsirt oen mroe.
but The eight killed mi stomak.
sure, i waste three hours the other day reading through the forum thread, and now they’re right here hahaha