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10 Hilarious Listverse Comments

Jamie Frater

It has been a while since we had a “vanity” post. The previous ones have been in honor of such important things as my birthday, but this time we will let the light shine on you – the commenters. The best thing about this list is that the items were chosen by our readers and they were all made by our readers. So how did this happen? On the forums, astraya decided to start a thread of all time funniest listverse comments. Six pages later we have a nice selection. I have gathered together ten of them to present here – and if this is a popular list I will do more in future.

10

Worst Human Invention

Picture 1-73

Original List: Your View: What is the worst human invention?

longball: the womans vibrator

Saffa: So you have no problem with a man’s vibrator?

9

Bizarre Medical Anomalies

Censored 2

Original List: Top 10 Bizarre Medical Anomalies

List Item 1: Diphallia is a condition in which a male is born with two penises.

Baxter: I wish I had diphallia. Triphallia is a bitch.

8

Greatest Books

Huckleberry-Finn-Pix-Tm

Original List: Top 10 Books Of All Time

[JFrater: Next time you think I am not a tolerant moderator, remember this conversation - kiwiboi is my brother - making this a particularly personal discussion.]

bucslim: Holy shit! Isn’t it one of the signs of the apocalypse when Randall and I are on the same side?

kiwiboi: bucslim – maybe you guys oughta get a room…

bucslim: I will, just as soon as I’m done with your Mom.

kiwiboi: Huh ? You mean you’ve finished with yours already ??

bucslim: She’s ok, but not as good as your sister.

kiwiboi: Maybe…but at least your dad says you’re still as tight as a little pink drum

bucslim: He said that after he was done with you.

Randall: amateurs.

Randall: see now, “tight as a little pink drum” is funny.

kiwiboi: Aw c’mon bucslim…you need to be more inventive than that. For example, I could say to you that the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand tore through the toilet paper

bucslim: No, the last time I got a piece of ass was with your sister.

7

High School Movies

123046  Breakfast Club L-1

Original List: Top 15 Movies About High School

Mortivore: @bucslim: Wow. You seriously just made my day. That was probably the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Of course, I spent my day making funeral arrangements for my recently deceased grand mother … But still.

6

Baseball Pitchers

Robo-Yo

Original List: Top 10 Major League Pitchers

jajdude: Curveballed guns on the list – baseball is my favorite remedy for insomnia and preventing premature ejacs yo.

jfrater: jajdude: I constantly hope that one day I will understand your comments

Iain: Actually JF – that was one of JAJs more comprehensible comments – to paraphrase – ‘Baseball is so boring it can send you to sleep and thinking about it during sex can prevent ejaculation.” – and I tend to agree.

5

Baseball – again!

Hooker Image

Original List: Top 10 Major League Pitchers

Enoooo: I’m sure most Americans think European sports are dumb/boring.

segue: … Rugby is catching on. My younger daughter started playing 10 years ago, became a hooker, and now, a prop. She also coaches youth rugby.

bucslim: segue, sorry to hear about your daughter becoming a hooker. One piece of advice, I’m not sure you want her coaching rugby to youngsters. When the other parents find out what she does for extra cash, they might not be too happy about it.

segue: @bucslim: Silly boy.

4

Evolution Versus Creation

Kansas-Evolution

Original List: Your View: Should Creationism Be Taught In Schools?

Anon: @Kaye “I believe people chose evolution over cheation …”

Some of us go the whole hog and spell it ‘cheating’, Kaye.

3

America Changing Books

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Original List: 10 Books That Changed America

Randall: Are we going to argue about contemporary poetry? Please. I haven’t the time. Poetry, after all, is a dead form. No one reads it and only academics are writing it (and pretentious types, who as always write crap, and never go away).

Cheeshygirl: @Randall – “(and pretentious types, who as always write crap, and never go away).”

So, you’ve started writing poetry?

2

Creationism – again

Creationism3

Original List: Your View: Should Creationism Be Taught In Schools?

Kerra: Anon, You give the average high school student far too much intellectual credit. They are no inquisitive and curious. Their hormones rule almost their every action, and if its not hormones its hunger.

Anon: Kerra, Thanks. I’m greatly relieved to hear that. Saves everyone a lot of time [and] trouble. Seems we might shove Creationism out of the curric[ulum] reckoning and give sex education and lunch hour a bit more time instead then! Hohoho.

segue: Anon, you left out the comma between sex and education.

1

Facts – or not…

Morphology Of Antidisestablishmentarianism

Original List: Top 10 Fascinating Facts That Are Wrong

JayArr: Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

I solte tihs form teh itneernt.

Anon: amishtlnbasintdiiariatsesenm

lo: anon – antidisastablismentarianism?

lo: i meant antidisestablishmentarianism, of course

swampsnake: Anon: oh that was good i almost pseisd myself

Contributors: The forum regulars

Jamie Frater

Jamie is the founder of Listverse. He spends his time working on the site, doing research for new lists, and cooking. He is fascinated with all things morbid and bizarre.

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