In January we published a list of the ten worst products ever – it proved to be extremely popular and thus paved the way for a second list of similarly bad products and concepts. Be sure to mention your own favorite hated products in the comments – but remember, check the original list first so we don’t get duplication and complaints.
This tragic idea was launched by Amstrad in 1993, its aim was to create a freakish amalgamation of a Sega MegaDrive (Genesis in the US) and a ridiculously low powered PC all for the low low price of £999.99 – at the time a 486 would cost about £850 and Amstrad decided that a 386 would do the trick. As you can imagine it was a giant flop.
While I do like the retroness of the CED, it was just a crazy idea – bear in mind the Laserdisc had launched 3 years prior. The idea was to use vinyl with a needle, a video record player if you will. Well this was their biggest issue really as we all know (or those of us old enough to own vinyl know) records wear out, with the CED this was reckoned to be 500 plays.
Somehow this one got past R&D and turned into a production car. I am not entirely sure what the concept behind this abomination was – maybe that they needed to design a car so utterly useless that people would prefer to either walk or use public transport. I guess that’s one way to save the environment.
Has anyone seen a good home movie? It seems to me that people use these devices to film holidays and never watch them, or better yet to capture wonderful family memories – only to embarrass you in later years with them. I know my extended family have many videos of me I wish never existed. [JFrater: I will vouch for that and may consider a top 10 list of them at a later date.]
Really why does the world need these, have we all gone mad? If your dog is so incapable of controlling its bodily functions there is another far simpler way – it’s called euthanasia.
Luckily this one never got into production, I can think of nothing less useful than a purpose designed beach car that’s made like a Lego set. Obviously Pontiac figured in the future we would all spend our days at the beach having barbeques.
While essentially a sound concept, the execution doesn’t quite work Wikipedia sums it up for me “The IBM 5100 Portable Computer was a desktop computer” I like how it’s both a portable and desktop computer all in one, oh and it weighed and impressive 55lb (24kg) making it a lot less portable than at first glance.
Some smart person decided to design a line of clothing that changed color with heat, this all sounds really neat until you start heating up and sweating. They had a great habit of showing up details of one’s body you wouldn’t really want people to notice.
While the cell phone is arguably a very important advance in technology the SMS text message is a huge leap backwards and the relative low cost of cell phones is making for a generation of kids that not only cannot spell but in fact cannot comprehend words that are over 5 characters or don’t have numbers in them. Taking things to an extreme, the Qualifications authority in New Zealand under the previous government mooted the idea of allowing TXT speak in exams.
Yes, that’s right 1170% RDI of Cholesterol, whoever thought this one up deserves either an award or to go to prison for manslaughter I’m not really sure which is more fitting. I can picture the product development meeting now CEO : “Right guys I want you to develop a product that will kill all of our customers before they are 30″.
Contributor: Geraint
doggie diapers???
What an idea!!!
I think it was disined to stop small dogs from soiling debutant hand bags.
Nice list. I especially loved the record movie. Sometimes you have to wonder what people were thinking when they had the notion these would be good ideas.
youtube
The Smart car was designed as an alternative Urban transport system. One of it's main concepts was to use in cities for people to take across town, quickly, cheaply, and environmentally friendly. Three of these cars can fit into a standard Parking space, at right angles to the normal line.
All round, I think it's actually a very clever little piece of engineering for it's time, but it was never really properly marketed. Now, If this exercise was repeated, using more modern materials, processes, and design methods (The original is over a decade old) I think we'd have a much better and more robust little vehicle for short-medium distance, low load, urban transit.
Apart from that the list is great. Couldn't agree more about SMS texting, by the way. I use it alot, but I swear those replies that don't contain one fully formed word, and absolutely no vowels really infuriate me.
The Smart car, while not as big of a seller as expected, does pretty well here in Austria – particularly in the city where parking is hard to find and being able to fit into a tiny space a big plus.
Oh come on what a better way to embarrass my boys when they get older then with video??Great list.
Desperado-like guns on the list, g – were it not for camcorders the amateur section on em*****ium.us be would be dull as seagulls yo
Who ever thought the pontiac stinger was a great idea needs to go back to their room, text their freinds about how much of an idiot he/she is while eating his/her Armour Pork Brains and just think about what they’ve did.
You stun me again jajdude…. I still have no freakin clue what your talkin about…. Bravo
bahaha, in the stinger video, “… and if you like a bunch of nooks and crannies”… who doesnt?
and jajdude you leave me speechless.
My brother had a Capacitance Electronic Disc (CED)Player! You had to turn the disc over to watch the second half of the film! SO ANNOYING!!!
My friend uses doggie diapers for her dog. She breeds sharpei’s, and uses the diapers for when the *****es are… er… on heat because she keeps them inside away from the males at night. I have suggested she build them a cage but apparently doggie diapers are cheaper.
I think it’s quite annoying that you find cellphones and camcorders annoying only because of the way some people chooser to use them. They are both extremely important products and I’m pretty sure you own both.
amazing list Jfrater!!! But i dis agree with the smart car.. i think its Environment friendly.
Sorry! great list Geraint
@Rose:Great use
i think the doggie diapers were made for dumb dogs and dog owners who are too lazy to train their dogs
Haha everyone hates Smart cars but I love them xD
I want a colour changing t-shirt too
That pork brains sounds rancid though
Talk about heart attack in a tin…
Good list! Well done
@Neth: you cant train a ***** not to menstruate (by ***** I mean dog- not a nasty female human)
“A teenager’s in trouble after writing her entire English essay in text messages.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/chat/your_comments/newsid_2814000/2814357.stm
“Texting ‘improves language skill’”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7910075.stm
I’m waiting for someone to translate Macbeth into TXT speak. It’s already been done in Klingon. “2b 0r n0t 2b.”
Actually "To be, or not to be" is the opening line of a soliloquy from William Shakespeare's play Hamlet (written about 1600), act three, scene one. It is not from Macbeth.
"Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble." is one of the famous quotes from Macbeth…
Now, ifn they could marry the SMART CAR with the STINGER….
@19… Maybe somekind of StArt car Hybrid?..
Pork brains in a tin….ewww…gross!
Yeah… so I’m drunk (as happens around four in the morning), and I’m usually drunk when I come upon the lists this early anyways, which means I can get a comment in that someone will actually read (but am drunk when I write it…), but alas! I have nothing positive to say about this article. I’m hoping it’s the whiskey, but it seems to me like this list is a grab bag of general dislikes of the author. That’s fine, but where’s the uniformity in the list? Like pork brains are worse than the much-more-popular pork rinds, for instance? Or that doggie diapers are much worse than, say…. baby wipe warmers? Or Hoobastank? I’m just sayin… I could write a list of things I don’t like, too, but I might have to drink almost as much as I have tonight to convince myself it was worth being published.
Your writing is impressively coherent for a drunk [^_^]
Several of these products are pretty ridiculous… although. I would actually like to have one of the Stingers. I think it would be a cool little summer car to jet around in! If they were built well and included all the features, I would love to have one. You wouldn’t necessarily have to be near a beach to enjoy the car. I live in Kentucky, USA, in the Appalachian Mountains and I still think it would be cool to have for camping or just a ride to lake and back. Call me stupid I guess, but I think it would be neat.
I disagree on the SMART CAR. There are worse automotive inventions than the SMART CAR. Check out Auto rickshaws: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autorickshaw
If ever you drive in India, look out for these pesky creatures whose owners think it is ultra-cool to take a 90 degree turn right in front of your car.
I cant see any pictures
Mmmmm. Pork Brains (insert Homer Simpson drooling noises here). My Grandmother used to cook sheep’s brain fritters and I even ate some. She had the excuse of having lived through the Second World War rationing and was capable of eating all sorts of crap.
Haha, Smart cars are actually quite popular in Canada. They’re great for tooling around in the city. Park ‘em anywhere, cheap on gas etc. Personally, I wouldn’t have one; for less money I could buy a Civic or a Honda Fit. I’d get the same gas mileage and a back seat.
The Stinger? What a dune buggy for the rich? or for those too lazy to pop a fiberglass body on an old VW?
JaJude; Awesome comment! and I understood it.
Yes indeed! The smart car is a great way to drive around the city whilst looking like a complete tool.
Pork brains…this is me vomiting…
:+0 >>>>*%#+=*(&%#@…..>>>>>%$@*&^%$#……>>>>%$#@I*
(sniff)…(sniff)
That is disgusting. Some humans are just ridiculous with the things they digest without being tortured or on a show that will pay them prize money for torturing themselves. People pay money to eat this? I want to puke.
shar (19): +1
The smart is a great idea, and it’s commonly used in big european cities!
Who needs a SUV in big cities? That’s just nonsense, not even speaking about pollution! So here come the smart, as an alternative car.
Yeah, when I was in Vienna, there was no way an SUV could fit in some of those roads. I think smart cars are cute.
ome of the better lists. Man #1 was awesome.
hmmm.. i get what they were trying to accomplish with the smartcar, however when i see two people in one, as soon as i’m behind them in my own car i can almost see into their lap. if i had my bookpag and a passenger we wouldn’t fit. my car is relatively small but i feel like i could run over a smartcar. not to mention when they are on the highway a little bump to the back and they’re history.. but not the worst invention.
but number 1.. pork brain?! okay 1. i wouldn’t eat that ANYWAY, 2. that much cholesterol is insane, i feel bad for anyone who enjoyed the stuff but they might not have been smart enough to take a glance at the back.
as for texting haha i text a lot but usually only because my friends do, however most of my friends text in pretty good grammar.. but i can see how its corrupting others’ english! .. we’ll see what happens.
mmmm… pork brains.
never ate it. yet.
i mean i eat ox brains, pork heart, fish eyes and chicken intestines but not pork brains. yet.
oh wait. i’m not sure if “sisig” has pork brains in it. but whatever it is made of, it sure is delicious!
Geraint: Interesting list. Your #1 is a true stunner! Thanks.
Re #6: I first saw these in the 70′s. A friend was a breader of St. Bernards. She used them as Rose noted. Funniest damn thing ever – but practical I suppose.
Mom424: please translate jajdude for the rest of us…
hey, all in all i thought the stinger was a pretty bad ass car. i’d drive the mess out of it.. but man.. does it really need all that ***** in there? i mean a garden hose?? for what to seiffert gas out of sumones car? 2 vacums? a cooler on ur door??? come on now, it’d b a hell of a car if they just cut down on the home accesories. its a CAR. say it with me…. CCCAAAAAARRRRRR. not a RV. but the technology and the all around look of it… ugh. amazing!
On this incredibly rare occasion, I actually agree with jajdude. (I think)If we didn’t have camcorders, where would all the amateur ***** be? And I love how not only is it actual pork brains, but it’s in a savory milk gravy. How could you ever resist? Yeah you would die after eating half the can, but it’s worth it!
The SMART car? Are you serious? I don’t know what parking and gas prices are like where you live but here in Europe (Germany to be specific) it continues to be extremely popular. I’d buy one if I had the money!
#1. How many people died as a direct result from eating pork brains? If someone eats pork brains every once in a while are they really harming their health? Supposedly eggs were really bad for you but then the experts have backed off and said 4 a week are just fine for most people.
What no CD-i? :O
I agree with numbers 10,6,5,4 and 1 but WTF! Cell phones and camcorders are bloody useful!
Over 80 miles to the UK Gallon while in urban mode makes the Smart car an extremely intelligent purchase for those living in or near big cities. They are far more spacious than people give them credit for and are well equipped for a tiny price. I imagine they wouldnt go down well in the USA, as even our largest cars are thought to be tiny over there!
Ive seen a pig brains spread for on youre sandwich
and i thought doggie clothes where sad.
I love lists like these, mainly because I remember so many fads that came and went quicker than a virgin on his honeymoon night (pardon the *****ogy).
Not to sound like I’m into conspiracies or anything, but the general public is so easily “duped” by clever advertising and slick sales pitches. These companies that I am referring to spend big bucks researching what us: the consumer respond to positively or negatively.
There is so much psychology involved in the advertising process, I think most people would be shocked to find out that most companies that advertise on the T.V. and radio use subliminal messages and a type of hypnotism to get “us” to buy their product.
The catchy songs, certain images flashing across the screen quickly, even down to how the person in the commercial speaks…buyer beware….
Tesla cars are developing an electric version of Smart Car.
Smart car is quite popular in europe where cities are centuries old, thus having narrow streets and small parking areas.
The only drawback of smart car is its really high price.
When the electric version is available, its sales will skyrocket!
doggie costumes, doggie diapers…I think almost doggie anything that doesn’t address eat, sleep, and vet is pretty ridiculous. A couple times a week, I see this woman walk by my house as she pushes her perfectly normal, perfectly healthy rat terrier in what I thought was a baby stroller. I was wrong. It’s a cat stroller. Before then, I never knew the things existed.
@ Rose 17. You cant teach a ***** to menstruate either – only primates do this, not doggies.
@ Mom424 24. I am not surprised Canadians love the Smart Car. They are the worlds biggest blouses and any attempt to be conspicuously politically correct is more necessary than life itself.
As for The Stinger – so awesome! Is there anything this car cannot do?? So 90s its not funny, I can see 2 In A Room getting out of this whip and pumping a bit of Wiggle It!!
Pork Brains and Cell Phones rule. I LLooovvve my cell.
I’m not quite sure why the dudester think that seagulls are the epitome of boringness.
Otherwise, most of these things whizzed past me while I wasn’t looking. The “brick” mobile phone and the camcorder are the only two I would reliably recognise.
One benefit of text messages: a couple of years ago I was staying at a youth hostel on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia. There was also a group of deaf teenagers. They were getting ready for a day a Sea World. Mobile text messages have opened up a whole new world for deaf people.
Yeah, Smart cars are extreemly popular in Europe. I don’t think it should be on this list.
Good list nonetheless.
Ok… I don’t mean to stir up the beehive here, but how is it that people still are amazed by jajadude’s comments or can’t understand them ? It’s been the same structure from Day 1.
“guns on the list, , .
It’s not like it’s Anthony Burgesse’s wildly varied “droogspeak”. Now THAT’S fun to read.
Suskis, 44 The only drawback of smart car is its really high price
With the base model at just shy of £7000, I would say that is excellent value for money – particularly accounting for the amazing fuel consumption and standard equipment. You will make your money back in savings on fuel.
Ok heres the structure… “descriptive adjective about the list” guns on the list, “insert g or yo here”. “fully understandable comment goes here”, “insert yo or g again”.
I thought smart cars were pretty stupid until I visited Rome, then I understood the use for such a small car.
What does anyone have against the SMART car….I live in Canada and they are all over the place. I’ve driven in one once and it was pretty fun?
They are actually pretty low gas using so what’s the issue?
I’ve seen several smart cars in the Washington, DC area, so they’re not completely overlooked in the States. I find them to be very odd looking, but if someone wants to drive one, then so be it.
I had never heard of 3, 4, 5, 9, and 10 and it may have been for the best. I can’t ration out diapers for dogs just because I don’t think it would be sanitary and I think it would be more work in the long run.
I think that camcorders could serve an excellent purpose and while there may be a side effect of embarrassment, you can’t deny the worth of capturing wonderful memories. I don’t like to use anything but proper English and real words, even when texting, but I guess it’s the way it is. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that you just don’t get a lot of space to text and I think some of it goes back to instant messaging as well.
Then there’s pork brains. I don’t even know what to say. I guess it’s not for me to criticize something I haven’t tried, even though I lack the courage to try it. People are responsible for what they put in their bodies, it’s not the fault of the people manufacturing the pork brains. I mean, if people are buying and eating it… well, what can I say.
i wouldnt mind me a stinger
not in that color though mayb in a blue
yes blue will do
Shouldn’t that be SMRT C@R?
51. damien_karras – Yes, you are indeed trying to stir up the beehive – in fact that is your primary objective, which is a clear reflection of your own self loathing.
I actually think jajs comments are slightly humorous and he (yes, definitely a he) should be left in peace.
Not self-loathing… yes his comments are humorous, but I still don’t understand why people say they can’t understand them.
I disagree on the Smart Car, it’s a great idea for big european cities ’cause it can take you a couple hours to find a parking spot in Madrid, for example,with a regular car, and that little vehicle fits almost anywhere.
BTW…Pork brains exists in Spain but in a different form, think of it as a sausage made of it… Might be a different shape but I think it’s stil disgusting :-S
Zombie pigs gotta have something to eat. They’re just making it easier for them.
*squeee squeeem, BRAAAIIINNNSSM, oink.*
As the relative of someone who has a Smart car, and as someone who has driven one regularly, I think it’s necessary for me to speak up at this moment.
The diesel-powered Smart Car can achieve fuel consumption rates as low as 2-3 litres/100km, or about 65-70 miles/gallon. Admittedly, it only seats two, and yet so do many sports cars that have much higher fuel consumption rates. The storage capacity looks small, which is deceiving, as the capacity is actually much more useful than it seems. This video demonstrates the use of the storage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkjZtfgqC2w
So while the Smart Car may be passed off by some as a silly or ridiculous idea, it has combined excellent mileage with comparable or higher degree of usefulness than many cars developed and marketed around the globe. Add in the fact that you can park in many tight places and you’ve got a car that might not be for everyone, but definitely has a place on the market.
P.S. Wally, I don’t consider it appropriate or necessary to insult Canadians over something like this. Not only is it foolish, it is needless.