Halloween is now over for another year and people have had sufficient time to scour through their bags of candy. Here is a list of the worst Halloween Treats that I remember from my childhood. There may be worse additions present day, in fact, I’d be surprised if there weren’t as companies seem to be pulling out all the stops to top their competition year after year with strange flavor combinations, color concoctions, etc. But, going back to my era of trick or treating, the mid 70s – mid 80s, these were the worst of the worst to discover in your trick or treat bag. I welcome feedback from everyone as to your worst Halloween Trick or Treat memories, and hope everyone got great treats this year!
Okay, there are some people who like black licorice, but for many others, and for many kids who haven’t grown into the taste yet, it is nasty as hell. Not to mention that Good n’ Plenty’s are a tease – colorful pink and white candy shells, anise-flavored hell underneath. Licorice Allsorts also fall into this category. And I won’t even mention how easy it would be to slip a few quaaludes into the mix!
They looked scrumptious and were usually given to you by the sweet little old lady who lived down the lane. But, if you were born after 1970, you weren’t allowed to eat them, and your folks just threw them out, for fear that those gooey rice krispie squares, homemade fudge, candy or caramel apples, etc., were filled with razor blades and poison.
The bastard stepchild of the Hershey Miniatures pack. Now whether or not you like nuts and chocolate combined, these yellow goofballs just never quite worked. They always tasted like two separate taste treats thrown together, unlike better chocolate/peanut combinations– Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfingers, Baby Ruths, Snickers, etc. I always came away wishing I had gotten the Krackle, the regular Hershey Chocolate, or even the Hershey Dark.
Now you might think this falls under the same category as razor blades & poison, but I’m not even gonna go there. Apples as a treat stink! As a kid, I probably ate an apple every day in my lunch. It’s Halloween, gimme some candy!
OK, at first money seems pretty cool, even if you figured you could pool it and buy candy from the candy counter at your local corner store. But, you never got more than a couple of stray nickels, or even pennies from the really cheap people! Never enough to do real candy damage – usually just enough to get a few watermelon jolly ranchers. And on that note…
They stuck your teeth together until you thought you would have to go to the dentist to pry them apart! Much too much work for way too little a candy thrill. And, the grape ones just tasted strange. Not quite cough medicine, not quite candy – just weird.
I don’t even know where to start. These were like eating pastel colored dust formed into little round discs. Not nearly sweet enough, and flavorless, these cheap, powder pellets were weak at best, tasteless at worst, and just cluttered the bottom of the treat bag. Although they were fun if you were Catholic and played “Communion” with them.
A tootsie pop or equivalent could be a somewhat plausible treat – at least you’re working toward getting either a tootsie roll or bubble gum on the inside after all your efforts, but these crappy little teeny lollipops were just the worst. They tasted like old shoes.
It was just off-putting, getting jellybeans (Easter), hard ribbon candies (Christmas), or other strange candies that just didn’t fit with Halloween. And of course you wondered, “How long have they been saving these to hand out?!!!”
What exactly were these? Toffee? Peanut chews?? Sawdust?? To the best of my recollection, they were some kind of molasses concoction, but for anyone born after the days of Little House on the Prairie, where the big treat was taking hot molasses out and throwing it down in the snow to cool it in order to make candy, these were a huge disappointment.
Did anyone’s parents actually let them use these? OK, my folks weren’t fast food nazis, but even if the intention to let me use them was there, no one ever remembered to do so, and they were found months later, after they expired.
Notable Mentions: Circus Peanuts, Generic Peanut Chews, Candy Corn (hard for me to list here because I always loved it, but so many people hate it, I had to include it), Candy necklaces/Candy dots on paper (which were made by the Necco company!)
Those who are saying that the religious fanatics that celebrate Christmas/Easter and are anti-halloween are hypocrites are being ignorant. These people celebrate Christmas/Easter for the right reasons, however they also attack the pagan traditions that most associate with those holidays such as Christmas trees, Easter eggs, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc. Those, to most of them, are just as evil as Halloween, so please can we stop with that line of nonsense.
@pinklady13 (121): Haha! Were we in the same neighborhood? I, too, had to let my 8 year old daughter know she’s going to hell…
Any list HAS to include the two worst candies. Candy Corn and Circus Peanuts!
halloween is *****.
@JerseyDevil
Maybe that holds true for you, but I have yet to meet an anti-Halloween, pagan hating individual that doesn’t decorate a Christmas tree or participate in Easter egg hunts every year.
One of the great horrors of my childhood was being allergic to chocolate.
When you are 7 it’s almost worst than death
I had to throw away all the chocolate and the only thing I had left was all the candy you mentioned!
I started to like them when they were the only things I could have…..you lucky chocolate eating bum!
I found in my later years when I tell women I can’t eat chocolate they feel so sorry for me they’ll do about anything…..
@bucslim (107):
(sniff!) El is touched.
The first thing you do in the morning is remember li’l El.
I mean why are you trying to pay attention to the lil’ annoying twerp.
@BravehisTickle (128):
I’m just sayin . . .
@tripsyman (90):
I’m sorry but your arguments don’t stand up. If kids were getting abducted left right and centre on Halloween, and old people were dying from fright all over the shop, then i’m pretty sure we’d here more about it, and it wouldn’t be as sociably acceptable as it is.
The reasoning behind you not allowing your children to celebrate Halloween is purely religious. This, of course, is very silly. Regardless of what it once stood for, Halloween is, in this day and age, not a ‘celebration of evil’. It’s a harmless, secular, holiday. I can guarantee you that your children won’t start sacrificing lambs just because you embrace Halloween.
It just a bit of fun. A bit of harmless, Corporate America driven, consumerism riddled fun which in some ways highlights perfectly the ludicrousness of the world we currently live in…maybe. But fun none the less.
“Black licorice” is redundant. That crap you call “red licorice” isn’t licorice. Know why? Because licorice is the taste – not the type!
How has no one said “rockets” yet? Those really suck, and way too many people gave them out.
sorry, boring list. let’s get back to “most gruesome whose-its” or “most controversial somethings” or “eeriest thingies”!
wax coke bottles with the colorful ‘juice’…gross.
You’re a dumbass, tripsyman.
Pretty controversial for a list about Halloween candy… 135 comments and counting…
If we just pay him no attension – ignore it It has worked in the pasted, the more you feed him the more he comes back.
likes:
anything chocolate
jolly ranchers (watermelon!!)
gum
money
dislikes:
candy corn
licorice
tootsie rolls
anything cinnamon-flavored
What were those crappy taffy-esque peanit butter things? They came in orange or black wrappers and tasted like the aborted attemp at taffy…. TO make matters worse, they had a bit of “peanut butter” crispy in the middle…. UGH
@oouchan (52): However, last year some religious group was handing out mini-bibles and coins that had the cross on it. Sad to say, their house and street were littered with that stuff. When we got close to their house a cop was telling them they had to go out and pick up all the trash or they would get a fine.
Lol this is actually pretty funny.
Thankfully this year, they didn’t hand out anything.
They were just asking to get egged. Kind of like this tripsyman guy…
I have to second Goddess DA
Those were terrible.
Anyone ever get those wax skeletons filled with liquid? You’d bite off the head of the skeleton and suck out the sweet sweet nectar. I loved those!
I have a truly lovely Christian friend who does pass out candy on Halloween, but each one has a “Jesus Loves You” on it.
Nice to learn something from other countries, re: Halloween we dont celebrate it here, but that licorice thing got my taste buds going, the only licorice you get here is very soft and is ataste between blotting paper and aniseed.
Thanks Lyrebyrd.
…each one has a “Jesus Loves You” sticker on it.
(sorry folks!)
Remember the Sat. night live skit, “the coneheads”? They never did quite understand the concept of “treats” for halloween and instead handed out fried eggs and six packs of beer. Too funny!
I wish I could still find the flat jolly ranchers like they had years ago, you could break off a piece, stick it to the roof of your mouth (like a retainer) and it would last all through one class. Watermelon was my fav! yum-0!
@Lynn in Washington (146): I wish I could still find the flat jolly ranchers like they had years ago
Heh those were great. They were called whatever flavor, say “cherry” and then “Stix”. Fire Stix (cinnamon flavor) were the worst IMO, I couldn’t handle them, too hot. My favorite was the Butter Stix…I guess it was butterscotch or something; I don’t think today’s Jolly Ranchers come in that flavor. I like the peach JRs the best btw.
As far as modern Halloween candies go, I hate the gummy “crabby patties” and hamburgers that people hand out. Weird flavors, especially since the items they are modeled after are supposed to be savory. Just plain weird.
this list made me laugh… especially necco wafers, mary janes and of course… the mcdonald’s gift certificate.
I do miss Jolly Ranchers though…
And someone who mentioned the mini-Bibles… those sucked! Definitely not what I wanted when I rang the door bell. And if you were dressed as something “evil” like the amazing witch costume I would wear, you would get dirty looks.
Wow, the only things on this list that I wouldn’t eat/use are the Necco Wafers and McDonald’s coupon. I guess I have more of a sweet tooth than I thought.
Ask Charlie Brown what the worst thing in a Halloween bag is. (For those of you unfamiliar with the Peanuts Halloween tv episode—-C.B. always ended up with a bag of rocks.)
This year a group of our neighbors pooled their treat budget for a trip to the dollar store—-My kids were really happy with the leather bound journal, and a food container filled with CRAYOLA crayons and some small chocobars. There was an instant crowd of happy trick or treaters at this neighbor’s home.
@kai(133) submit your oun list and lets see.
Haha, very accurate. Pretzels and Tootsie Rolls should be on here too!
@tripsyman (90): All right guy, I’m not usually one to make waves. And, me and archiealt pretty much never agree. So, I hope you will not get too upset with what I am about to say, but consider it a reality check.
Forget the religious angle to halloween it is still wrong on so many levels, for instance:
I’m going to stop you right there for a second. Halloween is the culmination of many cultures holidays, both ‘pagan’ and otherwise. Not all of it was savory, sure. But November 1st is the Catholic All Saints Day. Christians celebrated October 31st as the Eve of ASD, or ‘All Hallows Eve’. Hardly evil I assure you. And the human-sacrifices and pagan ritiuals are long since deceased.
1) We tell our kids not to talk to strangers – but on halloween send them around strangers doors ( ussually at night).
Well, honestly, if your kids cannot distinguish the difference, then they definitely shouldn’t Trick or Treating. And if you let them out on their own, then you are asking for consequences.
2) We also tell our kids not to accept gifts/sweets from strangers – but on this night we don’t only tell them its ok, but as above send them to doors asking for them.
Most people go to the houses of people in their neighborhood, who they are generally familiar with. It is your problem if you go somewhere where you don’t know people.
3) We get our kids dressed as god knows what to disturb the elderly and the other vunerable people in our society.
If your kids costumes are scary enough to frighten the one old lady who doesn’t realize what day it is, again, your problem.
4) People are told give us a treat or we will trick you ( i have heard of water, eggs etc being thrown at people.
A problem easily avoided by going to places you know. Chances are your next door neighbor won’t egg your children.
All in all not a good night for everyone.
Well, the general consensus I am aware of votes it a pretty good night, and I haven’t had any terrible experiences either, so looks to me like your either your church or your parents have brainwashed you into believing Halloween is the Devil, along with fooseball and Vicky.
And before you say “it encourages mischief” I’ll do you the courtesy of shutting that argument down as well. Every holiday comes with its mischievous side. New Year’s Eve: Party hard all night. Christmas: Bust out the eggnog. Independence Day (in the US): Drink beer and light fireworks. People will think of any excuse to party and get up to no good. For God’s sakes, we celebrate Cinco de Mayo in the US! It is only celebrated in ONE STATE in Mexico. It is NOT the Mexican Independence Day like manny Americans think (that would be 15th of September, correct?), but it is another excuse to bust out the drinks and party. Halloween is just another excuse, as much as Christmas is.
I have to agree, that’s a list of pretty nasty candy. The exception being the Necco Wafers (not the selection version, though, the all chocolate version!).
What I always liked to get were See’s Lollie’s and a candy I can’t remember the name of, but it was a white taffy on the outside and peanut butter on the inside.
loved this list, though i think good and plentys shouldve been way higher and circus peanuts and those disgusting red fish shouldve made it
@rex1722 (155): Aw I kinda like Swedish Fish…
@Cheeshygirl (74): Once my husband explained how I should eat the woppers, I actually liked them. Also, when we would get home from Trick-or-treating, my dad would examine all of our candy. Somehow, all of the Baby Ruth bars were “poison” and he had to take them from us. I guess he was just collecting the candy tax.
Where’s Randall today? A long discourse on the roots of Halloween seems to be lacking here.
I always thought that the public costume display was thought to scare off evil that might want to stick it nose into the celebration of All Saints Day on November 1st.
@gabi319 (111): Ok…so I made a typo…haha! You did portray that episode well, however. I was cracking up!
@Maggot (139): You are right! It was funny. My daughter and I stood there with about 10 other people watching the “show”. What was even better was the fact that the family was arguing with the cops saying it was the fault of the ones who were handed that stuff. The cops said because none of those people were still around it was up to the family to pick it up. We sat there and laughed. I know it was mean, but at least they learned not to do it again.
@ianz09 (156): I also like the swedish fish…but only the little ones. The big ones are awful. They have a different taste and dry out quickly.
@oouchan (159): Not sure if I’ve had the little ones… I do like the big ones though. Is there something wrong with me?
@ianz09 (160): Nope. I just prefer the little ones. They are not as … tasteless as the big ones and are easier to chew. They sell them bulk at a grocery store near me so I get a pound once in a while and keep them on my desk at work in a jar. Yummy! (I don’t share however)
My trick or treatin’ days were exactly the same time period as yours lyrebyrd…I am in 100% agreement about the good n’ plentys. They were and are nasty…the same for home made treats, I always had this one house that gave popcorn balls and I wasn’t allowed to eat them because of the potential hidden razor…same with the apple house…and damn you are right on about the McD’s coupon…mary janes = weird…jolly rancher and generic lollis are cheap…I remember the ribbon candies sometimes would be old like the people who gave them out didn’t have their grand kids over enough to eat them all since two christmases ago.
Mr Goodbar is awesome
@oouchan (161): Nope. I just prefer the little ones. They are not as … tasteless as the big ones and are easier to chew.
We’re still talking about fish, right? I know big things frighten you. Well, most big things.
I like Mr. Goodbar!
And in an interesting note, there has never been a case of a kid poisoned/razor bladed on Halloween by anyone other than family members.
And the McD’s gift cards were cool.
Great list – have to agree molasses candy kisses are the very worst (Mary Janes in the USA) but I absolutely love Necco Wafers, Rockets and Love Hearts. Kind of like sweet tarts but not as tart. Awesome.
Have to disagree on the Good n’ Plenty – I love black licorice. Oh, and they’re called Goodies here. And smarties are not Rockets – smarties are candy coated chocolate – “They melt in your mouth, not in your hands”. And who could forget – “When you eat your smarties, do you eat the red ones last? Do you suck them very slowly or crunch them very fast?” Wow can’t believe that 300 million people are misinformed.
What about Dots? Like jujubes but some sort of crazy glue additive in them. They will not dissolve and you always have to resort to picking them out of your teeth with your fingers.
Gotta love Halloween. An entirely stress-free holiday.
@tripsyman (89): Not one valid point have you made. Someone already mentioned that there has not been one instance of random razor blades or pins in apples. Parents doing it to their own kids in order to draw insurance money or attention or whatnot does not count. Ties right in with “stranger danger”, another bull***** paranoia of modern times. 99.9% of the time it’s the next door neighbour, the benevolent family friend, the minister, or librarian that cause harm to our children. Stranger danger is a modern invention, and an unfortunate one at that. Scared *****less of strangers but ignore the danger right next door. Even your point about scaring the ***** out of old folks is lame-o. My next door neighbour Phyllis is 77 and loves halloween. Looks forward to the devils, witches, and assorted goblins that knock on her door. For that matter both of my parents are in their 70′s and look forward to halloween every year. A great way to get re-acquainted with the kids in the neighbourhood. Me thinks the only danger from halloween is in your own mind. Actually I know that.
@Maggot (164): Yes…still talking about fish. And yes, most big things scare me but have yet to come across one of those that would scare me.
I AM a pagan. So there!
And I LOVE Mr. Goodbars. The wax skeletons with the syrupy goop inside, not so much.
I love Candy Corn, Tootsie Rolls, and the Peanut Butter Kisses..so my brother and sister usually gave them to me.
I always hated the generic chocolate that had the white stuff on top.I mean, how old was it?
When I was little, there was a guy down the street who gave out jumbo chocolate bars…not mini bars, not even the regular size, we got the jumbo/king size bar! And his neighbour gave us pop (he was the only house I ever went to that gave us pop, and let me tell you, that was handy to have a few hours later!)
I gotta say I don’t understand way some religious people don’t like halloween, I went to a catholic school (not the uniform wearing kind of catholic school, it was the same as public school, except we had a religion class and got to go to church a few times a year) and we had halloween parties every year! I can’t remember who said it (and a 150 comments later, I don’t really feel like looking) but Xmas and Easter both started out as pagan festivals, Xmas more so than Easter(the Jewish Calendar is used to determine Easter, because the “last supper” was a passover meal). The religious PTB decided to celebrate Jesus’ birth in the winter to provide christians an alternate festival to the “pagan” winter solstice festivals.
Halloween is more like a cultural festival, not a religious (or anti-religious) festival. North Americans (and the UK I think) are really the only ones who celebrate Halloween by dressing up and eating candy. Having a party at your church, with children dressed up and eating treats is a Halloween party, plain and simple. Would it really be all that horrible for the children to dress up as bible characters and go trick or treating? They’re still getting dressed up to go to a party, and with a parent or two (or three) properly supervising, whats the difference? Check your kids candy if you feel the need, but who’s to say you don’t have some sick bastard in your church who might bring “bad” candy to the churh party? (L&O and CSI Lesson One: “Sick” people are everywhere and anywhere…you don’t want your kids to ever get hurt, don’t have kids).
Halloween is a simple, childish holiday, and if children can’t act childish on a day like Halloween, they are going to have very dull lives.
ROCKETS!
90′s Halloweener here.
10. G&Ps – Never got ‘em, though licorice isn’t SO bad. I can stand it in small quantities. Bad licorice = Dutch double salted licorice…*gag*
9. Homemade – I suppose the same scare that applied in the 80s only intensified in the 90s ’cause I didn’t even get offered baked goods. Shame too…razorblade pie is a fav of mine.
8. Mr. G – Not bad, a generic candy bar, preferred 3 Musketeers.
7. Apples – Agreed, LAME.
6. Money – Never received money, pennies, dimes, or otherwise. Semi-lame, I wanted to eat candy, not buy it.
5. Jolly Rs – Somewhat delicious. Fruity, yet deadly.
4. Necco/Smarties – Never had Necco Wafers until my 20s, but Smarties were the bane of my candy bag. Both taste fairly reminiscent of those damn Valentine heart candies, which in turn taste like chalk. Necco’s doubly so.
3. Generic lolly – Ehn. I’ve gotten worst. These were the wait-to-eat-until-everything-else-good-is-gone candy.
2. Wrong candy – Luckily, this never happened, though I do love jelly beans.
1. Mary Js – ACK! BACK TO CANDY HELL YOU DAEMONS FROM THE ABYSS! THE POWER OF TASTE COMPELS YOU! Ahem. On a side note, Bits O Honey are f-ing orgasmic. *grin*
@mom424 (166): It sounds like your smarties are like our m&m’s. Oh, and dots are gross. They are exactly as you described!
I have been a Christian for most of my life and I have to point something out – Christians are supposed to share God’s love with others and not spend all their time telling people what they should or shouldn’t do.
Enough of the talking! Enough of the debating!
The only way to truly witness as a Christian is to walk the walk, not talk the talk, and especially not by judging others.
@kaya (170): You reminded me of the Ayletts. The very best trick or treating house in our neighbourhood. They worked hard at it too. One year home made taffy apples, hot french fries to nibble on the next. And always mulled cider for the parents. Full cans of pop were always a bonus to me too. Trick or treating is damn thirsty work.
@cindyrulz (173): We have m&m’s too. I like the peanut kind the best. Smarties are a little flatter than m&m’s and the chocolate is better. Rowntree’s ftw!
@mom424 (176): Aw, I’m allergic to peanuts
I’ve never had M&M’s or Snickers or Reese’s or anything.
You listed just about all of my favorite candies (minus the good and plentys.. yuck!). So I’ll have to respectfully disagree on almost all counts.
@tripsyman (59): @robkellyj
i find it funny how Christians have no problem touting the “evils” of Halloween, but have no problem incorporating pagan festivities & symbols into their mis-matched holy day of Christmas. what exactly does having an evergreen tree indoors, and decorating it, have to do with Christ’s birth? he was born in Bethlehem, quite far away from any evergreeen trees. Also, shepherds are not likely to be tending their flocks in the dead of winter…jesus was most likely born in the spring. it was just easier to convert Christians from their pagan beliefs if you kept the fetsivals at the same time of year-ever wonder why Christmas is soo close to the winter solstice? yep.
(78): and that one case was perpetrated by a family member! the urban legend of the razors in treats bit always makes me laugh…along with the one about the LSD in kid’s temporary tattoos!