It is during the process of excretion that a book seems most useful for some people. Somehow, many in our modern culture have embraced the idea of reading while using the toilet. We take a look at some books which are tailor made for that purpose. The subjects range from the seemingly trivial to the a philosophically astute, but always with the characteristic of adaptability to the commode…
Buy it: Buy the Kamasutra at Amazon
Vatsayana may never have imagined his treatise on the art of lovemaking to make this list, but that’s what you get when a book written in the sixth century continues to hold the public imagination. All of the positions, all of the erogenous zones and all of the techniques are explained in so complete a manner that you might spend a lifetime practicing the art. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is a book only about sexual intercourse – Vatsayana’s aim is to set kama (enjoyment of the senses) in the context of a complete Hindu life.
Buy it: Buy 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die at Amazon
Because you won’t read them all, but you will have some idea of what that cute girl who studies linguistics is talking about. A compilation from Herodotus to Halldor Laxness and everyone in between, the book is the combination of recommendations of over one hundred literary critics. The pathway to faking great knowledge? You bet.
Buy it: Buy Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product at Amazon
A scholarly investigation into toilet culture, this book is informative, to say the least. The author, Dave Praeger, has delved deep into the depths of this source of national embarrassment and shame to produce an all encompassing study which dares to be funny. And through it all you will witness the history of poop and the various factors which have led to it being such a subject of shame. One thing is for certain, you’ll never look at poop the same way again.
Buy it: Buy The Art of War at Amazon
Wisdom for the battlefield is what Sun Tzu intended his short book to be about, but today the ideas are applied to business, management and beyond. Its application to almost every enterprise is one of the hallmarks of this examination of human behavior, making it a must-have of any bathroom shelf. Lucid and short but with layers of penetrating thought and discerning ideas, it’s an excellent book to reread every once in a while.
Buy it: Buy Grossman’s Cyclopedia: The Concise Guide To Wines, Beers, And Spirits at Amazon
Have you ever wondered how to say ‘Cheers’ in Gaelic or Korean? Did you know why experts always recommend drinking Single Malt Whiskey pure, or with a tiny bit of water, at room temperature? You will find all the answers in this book. You may also encounter Ouzo, Palinka (a Hungarian brandy) and Dongdongju (a Korean liquor) on the way. Need I say more?
Buy it: Buy Make the Most of Your Time on Earth at Amazon
Over one thousand experiences, from spotting lemurs in Madagascar to the camel fair in Pushkar, this book caters to the Phileas Fogg-type characters – those seeking great adventure. You’ll be thrilled, exhilarated and titillated as the authors take you on a journey of those spots in the world where you wish you’d rather be. And what’s more – you can do it from the comfort of your own home.
Buy it: Buy How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization at Amazon
Whether you call it Soccer or Football, play it in the favelas of Rio or at the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro, the beautiful game has influenced millions – and not always for the better as the author of this book, Franklin Foer, claims in his exploration of world geopolitics through the sport. His conclusions may sometimes seem overreaching, but when the regulating body, FIFA, can boast of more members than the United Nations, the arguments seem plausible. Especially in a bathroom.
Buy it: Buy 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die at Amazon
‘Time is the lens through which dreams are captured’ , said Francis Ford Coppola, and what better way to spend time than to rummage through some of the best that moviedom has to offer. You’ll be introduced to Satyajit Ray and Francois Truffaut, reacquainted with Bogart and Bacall and taken on a joy ride with Charlie Chaplin. For romantics there is always Cary Grant’s charisma and Rudolph Valentino’s nonchalant sensuality.
Buy it: Buy Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance at Amazon
Robert Pirsig’s magnum opus, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, was called by the Times Literary Supplement ‘profoundly important, disturbing, deeply moving, full of insights, a wonderful book.’ No wonder then that it was rejected 121 times by publishers before it was eventually published. Perhaps you will need several sessions in the bathroom to get through the whole book, but his discussions stir something in every soul. And along the ride he gives you pearls such as ‘the only Zen you find at the tops of mountains is the zen you bring up there.’ Of course, the same can be said about the bathroom.
Buy it: Buy What’s Your Poo Telling You? at Amazon
‘Know thyself’ said Cereventes, ‘for that is the hardest thing to do’. No philosophical dilemmas here, though. Only Anish Seth and Josh Richman dissecting your poo. Anish is a trained gastroenterologist so take him seriously – if you can that is. Hysterically funny at times, but always educational, the authors have managed to weave a comic masterpiece around a subject which has been relegated to the point of scorn. Tailor made for the bathroom.
Buy it: Buy The Ultimate Book of Top Ten Lists at Amazon
This is a bonus because it is not only good for a bathroom reader – but for any time and place. The Ultimate Book of Top 10 Lists combines all of the best lists from Listverse, and presents them in a very easy to read format. In addition to enjoying many of our lists at times when the computer is not available, every entry in the book has been professionally edited and checked. This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything – and Christmas is just around the door!































im speechless kyahaah
BOOM!!
wouldn’t it be confusing to get aroused while on the toilet (when reading kamasutra)?
i feel like going for a kaka now
now i’m set for x-mas and birthday presents for the boyfriend…thanks, listverse! =D
Did you test all these books?? And to recommend this books that means that you’ve tested others too?? What was the worst book to read on the can?
Ps palinka isnt quite a brandy,probably a fruit brandy. Palinka is usually made of plums
@katie (3): can someone get horny on the throne?? I think that the shame is so deeply inserted in our culture that it turns off that mecanism. Well except for the fetishes(yuck)
hey, you forgot early and rare copies of darwin’s the origin of species
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8373250.stm
not what i’d ever call a “bathroom read”, but i wouldn’t put at least 2 titles on the list in that category either, and it appears that languishing on the “bathroom reader” self helped this rare copy survive the recent ages….
weird but true. (which i know we all LOVE, as a concept
)
Item 5: You’ll be thrilled, exhilarated and titillated as the authors take you on a journey of those spots in the world where you wish you’d rather be.
I don’t know about the rest of you but when I need to go really bad, there’s no place else I wish I’d rather be than on the can. I certainly feel like I’m making the most of my time on Earth there. It’s thrilling. It’s exhilarating. And, yes, it’s titillating.
Hmmmmmm, very good.
“It is during the process of excretion that a book seems most useful for some people.”
that has the be the worst opening sentence i’ve ever read in my life. it’s even worse than “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
@katie (3): @Arsnl (6):
I frequently get horny on the can…
I usually just read the paper or a mag.
I’m beginning to think that ‘Dash’ is either a coprophiliac, a brown-nose or a simple kiss-ass!
Two books about crap – literally; sucking up to JF by ‘bonusing’ the Listverse Book and finally recommending, at #2 “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: possibly (no, cancel that – DEFINITELY) the most boring, painful and tedious piece of literary ***** (ties in with #’s 1 & 8) it has been my paramount misfortune to have read.
Finally, to recommend ‘Sun Tzu’s Art of War’ as a “bathroom book is so misplaced – why didn’t you recommend Herodotus’s ‘The Histories’, Homer’s ‘Illiad & Odyssey’ or maybe Musashi’s ‘Book of Five Rings’ as well – Art of War is a book that takes many years of study to understand and is NOT, repeat NOT, a ‘light read’.
Even The Kama Sutra is out of place – unless you plan on a little self-experimentation while you are on the toilet (YECCH!)
Sad, sad and poorly researched list.
Where the hell did that smiley face come from instead of a parenthesis?
Or a number (8)
@Shagrat (13): I added the bonus – dash didn’t – so put the blame where it lies
@Shagrat (13): oh and I meant to say that books about poop do seem to fit the list – what better time exists to study poop than when making some?
Many Indians don’t use the English style design commodes.They use the other type which does not allow reading any book.. and pretty good too..it’s real stupid to read while *****ting..
Seriously Jfrater, you chances of doubling the sales of your book are as good as over.
I’d probably end up using the Kamasutra as toilet paper.
I have never understood how possibly someone can read at the toilet. It takes me always less than a minute to dump my load. There’s no point in even picking up anything different from toilet paper for such a short span of time.
@Jfrater (17): I think it’s a real insult to read the book(bonus one and other good ones) while pooping,what dyu say smiley-face man?
sorry-read a book i meant
Chee chee chee what a useless list..
this list ‘*****s’ me.. or does it ‘*****’ me off..? im not too sure.
lol ! what inspires someone to write this list haha, cool though.
As a teacher of English to speakers of other languages, I have often wondered what I should teach as the best words for “to urinate” and “to defecate”. The only ones I can think of are either technical (as above), crude or babyish. There seem to be no perfectly standard, widely acceptable words to use.
In my university hall of residence, someone would supply Reader’s Digests.
Jezus, how can people be insulted by someone reading a book, while pooping! This is beyond me! Even if you’re reading a classic masterpiece, what difference does it make if you happen to be seated on porcelain, or on a couch?
Oh, and Jamie’s book would also be excellent stuff to read on the toilet. One list per sitting!
Sorry bad english,what I really meant was that reading a book in the loo is an insult to the book. I think such people have no genuine respect for books,don’t you all agree folks?
Some people don’t get off right away, or sometimes you feel like you have to go, but when you get on it takes some time.
Nice list; it’s a serious subject worthy of much contemplation – perhaps its a gender thing? i use maps (russia is in two parts (kalinogrd))- the advert btw is correct and helpful …. more power to your elbow.
Why does it matter where the book gets read? At least people are reading.
I never understood the concept of reading while on the toilet. I hate when you go to someone’s house and the bathroom has a bunch of magazines and newspapers beside the toilet. I can’t stand the thought of touching a book or something when I know someone else has held it while crapping. Even if they didn’t get any poo on it, still…..
Hmm… that’s quite a shameless plug at the end of that there list, JFrater. Nice list though. Might pick a couple of these up.
@chubbmeister (11): thank you for sharing that. My day is complete now
@Shagrat (13):now thats funny:)). Doing research for what books to read on the can. Maybe that could be transformed into a phd subject. Im really struggling to find what criteria one should use to find what books are good. Maybe a short read and a not a particulary interresting book. So art of war bad choice ; 1001 books good choice
@Arsnl (34): Hey JF is on the prowl,you can make a request to him now,mebbe he’ll reply.
hahaha! I liked the list. Would like to read 1001 Movies to see before you die. That sounds interesting. I happen to have a book of Poe’s stories in my bathroom.
@necro_penguin (10): Actually I liked the line. It was kinda catchy.
@Megacrust (28): I don’t think so. For example, when I would get totally engrossed into a book, I would walk around the house with it….do chores, fix food and take it with me when I had to go. No insult there!
@Megacrust (28):
No, I don’t agree. Why is it insulting to the book? How and where are you supposed to be, when reading respectfully? Can you read a book, when you’re wearing dirty workclothes? Isn’t that the same?
I would like to add to the list one of the greatest poop related books ever; “Who Cut The Cheese; A Cultural History of the Fart” Very funny, informative and interesting at the same time. Awesome book.
Check it out.
Amazon.com: Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart (0028195080119): Jim Dawson: Books
@Arsnl (34):
heheh, sorry mate, somehow you got included in the quote.
(And now I’m reading it back, it almost looked like a serious comment by me, haha)
@BravehisTickle (35): i really dont know. People got tired of me asking jfrater for those submarine stories. They might be right. How much can i guy ask that thing with out bugging people really hard. Those are just submarine stories.i may dump it in the can of crappy bad ideas.i guess ordinary people cant change the world. Shawshank was just a lie…. Oh what the hell.
@ jfrater: what about those submarine stories??
Ps : there’s nothing worse that a man with no dreams or hope.
@Arsnl Thinking of people getting horny on the throne while reading kamasutra on the pot is as revolting as someone eating their own faeces while reading a book on cookery. Laugh out loud.
@oouchan (36): @chubbmeister (37): Seriously,do you people think that it’s not disrespectful to the book? Books are meant for education and knowledge and many consider it as a sin to treat a book like that..and reading in dirty workclothes is not the same as reading in the bathroom..Sorry I beg to differ but that’s my personal opinion.
So because you are on the toilet, you are not learning anything or gaining knowledge?
@Krutz (41): well i wouldnt go that far but i tried to make a similar point.
@Megacrust (42): why should it be a sacriledge?? Sometimes i liked a book so much i couldnt stop reading even on the can( i did stop to wipe :p) lets not take the shame side of pooping too far. I wouldnt do it in front of my gf but its still a biological need. We shouldnt put pooping in the brown corners of our existence:))
I will stick to Andy Capp and Flo thanks, been doing it for years now.
@Megacrust (42):
That’s okay, and I’m not trying to convince you or anything (the subject seems to trivial, haha), but I think it’s a little farfetched to consider it a sin to be reading a book on the toilet. I do it all the time
.
As diddy says, I still learn…
@chubbmeister (46): “I do it all the time”. Begorra! Have you been to a doctor lately?? ..Or maybe you should do a rethink on your daily diet.
@El the erf (47):
Well, there are days…
However, technically I don’t have to relieve myself to be true to that statement; I could just go into the toilet, and start reading
@jfarter : Tell me those submarine stories *****, lest I make Kiwi curry outta you. Growl! @Arsnl: Howzzat??
This list gives me a great idea!!! Top 101 things you should buy from my clickbank account before you die. Gawd I’m f#@king brilliant!
1001 movies is a terrible idea, the book is huge!
I dislike this list and heres why:
10. I think this is a good book…. if you have never had ***** and dont know what you are doing. Otherwise this will seem like an amateurs book in my opinion.
8. and 1. Are dumb. I was intregued by the titles in bookstores but noticed within minutes that it was something only mildly interesting.
9,7 the only good recommendations
the rest is lack luster.
Actually although obvious ass kissing, the bonus I think is good too because sometimes I think of things I read on this site while pooping
@Krutz (49): i preffer a more subtle approach to it. Subtle and persistent
@Megacrust (42): Learning? Hardly. Almost all of my books are fiction. I am not going in there to “learn” but to have some mild form of entertainment to keep my mind occupied. Otherwise…I stare a wall. How boring. That’s my opinion.
Leave it to jfrater to add the shameless plug for the book
Is this list based on a source or is it just meant to be funny? I’m afraid the humour is lost on me.
@oouchan (54): You can learn from fiction books too..what fiction types do you read,give some examples.
JF – YOU put your OWN book in as the bonus: shameful and brazen self-advertising: shame on you!!!
Muscarius (21) You have yet to enjoy the value of “taking one’s time to clear one’s bowels well and reading in peace and quiet: poor child
and
Arsnl – poor choice of team there lad: but brilliant on the submarine stories comment! (sorry, man – I despise Arsene Wenger: now THERE’S a first name to inspire toilet-related activities!!!!)
after a lifetime of doing just that, guess how a library or bookshop affects me.
Can’t we recommend newly publish book take from List Verse?