It is during the process of excretion that a book seems most useful for some people. Somehow, many in our modern culture have embraced the idea of reading while using the toilet. We take a look at some books which are tailor made for that purpose. The subjects range from the seemingly trivial to the a philosophically astute, but always with the characteristic of adaptability to the commode…
Buy it: Buy the Kamasutra at Amazon
Vatsayana may never have imagined his treatise on the art of lovemaking to make this list, but that’s what you get when a book written in the sixth century continues to hold the public imagination. All of the positions, all of the erogenous zones and all of the techniques are explained in so complete a manner that you might spend a lifetime practicing the art. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is a book only about sexual intercourse – Vatsayana’s aim is to set kama (enjoyment of the senses) in the context of a complete Hindu life.
Buy it: Buy 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die at Amazon
Because you won’t read them all, but you will have some idea of what that cute girl who studies linguistics is talking about. A compilation from Herodotus to Halldor Laxness and everyone in between, the book is the combination of recommendations of over one hundred literary critics. The pathway to faking great knowledge? You bet.
Buy it: Buy Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product at Amazon
A scholarly investigation into toilet culture, this book is informative, to say the least. The author, Dave Praeger, has delved deep into the depths of this source of national embarrassment and shame to produce an all encompassing study which dares to be funny. And through it all you will witness the history of poop and the various factors which have led to it being such a subject of shame. One thing is for certain, you’ll never look at poop the same way again.
Buy it: Buy The Art of War at Amazon
Wisdom for the battlefield is what Sun Tzu intended his short book to be about, but today the ideas are applied to business, management and beyond. Its application to almost every enterprise is one of the hallmarks of this examination of human behavior, making it a must-have of any bathroom shelf. Lucid and short but with layers of penetrating thought and discerning ideas, it’s an excellent book to reread every once in a while.
Buy it: Buy Grossman’s Cyclopedia: The Concise Guide To Wines, Beers, And Spirits at Amazon
Have you ever wondered how to say ‘Cheers’ in Gaelic or Korean? Did you know why experts always recommend drinking Single Malt Whiskey pure, or with a tiny bit of water, at room temperature? You will find all the answers in this book. You may also encounter Ouzo, Palinka (a Hungarian brandy) and Dongdongju (a Korean liquor) on the way. Need I say more?
Buy it: Buy Make the Most of Your Time on Earth at Amazon
Over one thousand experiences, from spotting lemurs in Madagascar to the camel fair in Pushkar, this book caters to the Phileas Fogg-type characters – those seeking great adventure. You’ll be thrilled, exhilarated and titillated as the authors take you on a journey of those spots in the world where you wish you’d rather be. And what’s more – you can do it from the comfort of your own home.
Buy it: Buy How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization at Amazon
Whether you call it Soccer or Football, play it in the favelas of Rio or at the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro, the beautiful game has influenced millions – and not always for the better as the author of this book, Franklin Foer, claims in his exploration of world geopolitics through the sport. His conclusions may sometimes seem overreaching, but when the regulating body, FIFA, can boast of more members than the United Nations, the arguments seem plausible. Especially in a bathroom.
Buy it: Buy 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die at Amazon
‘Time is the lens through which dreams are captured’ , said Francis Ford Coppola, and what better way to spend time than to rummage through some of the best that moviedom has to offer. You’ll be introduced to Satyajit Ray and Francois Truffaut, reacquainted with Bogart and Bacall and taken on a joy ride with Charlie Chaplin. For romantics there is always Cary Grant’s charisma and Rudolph Valentino’s nonchalant sensuality.
Buy it: Buy Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance at Amazon
Robert Pirsig’s magnum opus, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, was called by the Times Literary Supplement ‘profoundly important, disturbing, deeply moving, full of insights, a wonderful book.’ No wonder then that it was rejected 121 times by publishers before it was eventually published. Perhaps you will need several sessions in the bathroom to get through the whole book, but his discussions stir something in every soul. And along the ride he gives you pearls such as ‘the only Zen you find at the tops of mountains is the zen you bring up there.’ Of course, the same can be said about the bathroom.
Buy it: Buy What’s Your Poo Telling You? at Amazon
‘Know thyself’ said Cereventes, ‘for that is the hardest thing to do’. No philosophical dilemmas here, though. Only Anish Seth and Josh Richman dissecting your poo. Anish is a trained gastroenterologist so take him seriously – if you can that is. Hysterically funny at times, but always educational, the authors have managed to weave a comic masterpiece around a subject which has been relegated to the point of scorn. Tailor made for the bathroom.
Buy it: Buy The Ultimate Book of Top Ten Lists at Amazon
This is a bonus because it is not only good for a bathroom reader – but for any time and place. The Ultimate Book of Top 10 Lists combines all of the best lists from Listverse, and presents them in a very easy to read format. In addition to enjoying many of our lists at times when the computer is not available, every entry in the book has been professionally edited and checked. This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything – and Christmas is just around the door!































“dropping Michelle O. off at the spa”
@Samzilla (122): Ha! I lived with my boyf (gasp!) for a year and a half before I went while he was in the house. Now that’s restraint!
Wow, I can imagine it, waiting for him to go for a jog or run to the store, “Quick! Before he gets back!” No time for books then…
To those who feel that reading on the can is an insult to the book…Does anyone REALLY know how many books, classic or mundane, have been inspired or mentally written while the authors have been “takin’ care of business”? I think most authors are just honored that their words are appreciated… regardless where.
I’ve been known to bring a good Stephen King title to the toilet, and with the amount of toilet readers IN his books, I like to think he would be amused at me.
Besides isn’t the act of reading material in the toilet another method to gain 15-20 minutes to oneself on the boss’s dime?
@Samzilla (126): Actually, he traveled a lot for work. So I basically had the house to myself (and my daughter) during the week and then held it in all weekend…not very healthy, I know. Now I just go whenever the feeling hits me. Usually after about my 3rd cup of coffee…
from my region…
laying some cable
throw a curveball
dropping off the cosbys
helping the economy by giving job security to the sanitation workers
To Randall and Bucslim….Love the terminology….Keep’em coming…
To ARSNL –I’ve been known to aim for the head to sink a sub or two….That’s MY sub story for the day…are we good?
@tremblingfingers (119): Did that fact inspire your nick?
@deeeziner (130):
Sluice the deuce
Backing the bus out of the garage
Cleaning out the vertical file
Checking my messages
Clear out some inventory
Waking Winnie the Pooh
Releasing the chocolate hostages
Premise is pretty good; list items are not for the most part.
I always read whilst on the pot. Calvin and Hobbes or Herman collections being my favorites. Followed closely by the Sunday funnies, Guiness Book of World Records or any of the Readers Digest series – Strange Stories and Amazing facts etc. Of course the Shampoo bottle or Polysporin box will do in a pinch.
I would recommend any of the “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” books, as well.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_2_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=uncle+john%27s+bathroom+reader+series&sprefix=uncle+joh
@Randall (132): Too Cool!!
I shall forever more feel myself the hero, as I “release the chocolate hostages”
Now I have to hang a cape on the towelhook on the back of my bathroom door.
@deeeziner (130): talk about launching a torpedo;)
@Randall (132): “chocolate hostages” thats a good one but it makes me think of brownies in an oven. And thats good.
i usually say ” i need to see a man about a horse”. Its ambiguous. Always leave them wanting for more but i did also use ” ive got a whale that wants to see the ocean”. That goes well with my eco- friendly friends.
This is dumb. Taking a crap should not take so damn long. Just read cool stuff when you can sit somewhere nice and comfortable. If it really takes that long a newspaper is all you need.
@Megacrust (42): Seriously,do you people think that it’s not disrespectful to the book?
Some books deserve to be disrespected. BBC presents: Stewart Lee on Dan Brown, “Harry Potter and the Tree Of Nothing” and “butt-clenchingly honest” toilet book by Jeremy Clarkson:
youtube.com/watch?v=IjQws4ZYxZA
@Megacrust (22): I don’t read when using the lavatory – but I don’t think it is particularly insulting to the book for someone to do so – if they are reading when they otherwise might not, I would say it is in fact a good thing.
Now – despite that, you won’t find any books or magazines to read in either of the toilets in my house because I am not convinced that it is not hygienic – that is my only beef with the idea
Second thought poop
You’re all done wiping your butt and you’re about to stand up when you realize…you got some more
Reader’s Digest (ha!), The New Yorker, and the Sunday Times crossword puzzle.
Cork poop
Even after the third flush, its still floating in there.
@Arsnl (136): Aw geez Arsnl…You just sank my battleship!!
1001 series of books are the WORST. In the 1001 Movies to see before you die, for example, the stupid author SPOILS every single movie. In his “Who Shot Liberty Valance” review, he goes right and says “THIS MAN SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE,” which, if you haven’t seen the movie, ROBS you of a great twist.
Also, where’s the Great American Bathroom book, where they summarize classic books into a single page? I’ve been reading them on the loo for years now.
I’ve heard a rumor that there are books written specifically for sitting on the john.
The Uncle John….
…get it?
;-D
I love those books. I read them even when I’m not in the bathroom.
The best bathroom book by far is The Gateless Gate. Contemplating enlightenment through a koan whilst on the can is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has a good line of fun, fact-filled books. I highly recommended checking em out to all of you who love trivia
Haha jenni I just saw your comment. I believe I just confirmed the rumor is true. Good teamwork!
@ bucslim (83): “that’s pedestrian and banausic”
My vocabulary has increased by one. (I looked it up just to make sure.) Now I’ve just got to figure out how to work that word into an intermediate level English lesson.
I actually have two of these books in my bathroom now (‘The Art of War’ and ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’). Mental Floss magazine is good too.
@astraya (146):
That dude Roget is one creative mofo ain’t he?
i skipped right to number one to see if Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader book were on the list……shame, its prolly the best thing to read when reliving oneself
Archie comics!
I hate it when my dick touched the toilet.
… What about trivia for the toilet?
@necro_penguin (10): I was actually thinking it was one of the best opening lines
1,001…
this was a decent list, but no list like this is complete without at least one of the manyUncle John’s Bathroom Readers.
no list like this is complete without an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on it
I just play little games on the iPhone while I’m dropping the kids off at the pool. Used to read the paper, but would get distracted then realise I had been sitting on the *****ter for half an hour….
This is a list of books TO BUY, NOT TO CHECK OUT FROM THE LIBRARY–unless you want to thoroughly disinfect prior to reading. I keep thinking of the book that George Costanza was forced to buy from Brentano’s after he took it with him to the bathroom–and when he tried to return it, he found out that it had been red-flagged.
Does it take sooo long to poop??
i mean some take only a couple of mins to do it!!!
Also in India, no way u cud take a book in the loo with u
everybdy wud just shout “Are u crazy? u will ruin the book!”
Its just tht i think about a lot of things while pooping, so i cudnt concentrate on reading the book anyway. cudnt enjoy the books’ content.
but if i had to read something, then a newspaper tops the list.
Really stupid list.
Sponsored list, very clever.
@Arsnl (40): what submarine stories?
Braindroppings by George Carlin. Best. Toilet Read. Ever.
I don’t read while using the toilet, I read while drawing my bath water and getting dressed. I read any kind of book then. I’m currently on Reindeer Moon by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas (1987).
I would have said something scary like Red Dragon so that way you can S*** yourself while reading…
Also, I usually read dilbert.
@gabi319 (8): That is so true! When you really, REALLY have to go, the best place on earth would be your very own bathroom. XD
Wow, feel special…I’ve actually read 2 of these (Art of War, and Zen and…)neither in the bathroom the first time, both in subsequent readings. Great list!
@astraya (146): Roget’s is passé. Its WORDWEB all the way now. Just one right click with your thumb holding down ctrl and you have the world of vocab at your feet.
One-love to softwares against books.
Flock O’Seagulls (158) I had the same thought. And I was never a huge fan of Seinfeld, but I caught that episode.
WHAT!!! NO UNCLE JOHNS BATHROOM READER!!!??!!
justiyt (170) Jeez calm the hell down. Its been mentioned at least a dozen times already. No need to shout.
@smokingfrog (159): In India,there are some people who think themselves as western types and read books in the loo.. which is highly un-hygienic and a stupid habit..oh there I go again..
I spent 15years licking magazines for this?
huh?
@jfrater (136): I’m glad that you yourself don’t follow this activity else I would had perceived you as a dirty ol’ man
I may bring something in with me, but I dont leave it there. My sis has a veritable library in her bathroom. Bookshelves and all. I dont go near it for obvious reasons stated above. Just seems icky.
@Vera Lynn (175): Don’t you think that when you come out from the bathroom, many harmful germs and microbes are transferred onto the book that you carry in and carry out..?? Isn’t that ‘icky’? I thought ladies are supposed to be all spic n span and ultra hygiene conscious…?
Hmm. Im pretty clean. What could get trasnsferred? I wash my hands before (really) and after. Its just a minute or two. Its not like Im in there for a while.
@Vera Lynn (177): A minute or two? I wonder what’s the need to read any thing in such a short span of time?..And how much can one read..maybe 4-5 pages? That’s why I stress that it’s a not-appreciable act.
Megacrust (178)You’re funny. Really. I dont do it often. Maybe 2x a year. When I was small, all the time. Id have a ring on my ass.
Y’all need to eat more fiber. I can squeeze one out in less then a minute.
The Kamasutra would be appropriate when going number three.