The geniuses at Pixar accomplished a lot with Ratatouille, but what is perhaps most impressive is the fact that they made us forget that most people would normally do their best to get rats into traps (even though that is alluded to in the movie). Not only is Remy the rat made cute and lovable, but he also cooks food for humans without making the audience cringe. The demand for pet rats rose after the release of Ratatouille as kids around the world asked, “Mommy, can I get a rat?”

There’s nothing scary about this innocent and friendly ghost kid. And just in case you’re wondering how he died, don’t. His parents were already ghosts when they got married and gave birth to him, so he never actually died. At least, that’s what we’re told in some versions of the story.

While in reality, spiders might send most of us running to grab something to smack them with, we forget all about our prejudices and fall in love with the pretty spider as she helps Wilbur with her wisdom.

He might stink, but Pepé le Pew is a true romantic at heart. And although some of his actions might be creepy, as long as you’re not the cat he’s after, you can’t help but find him charming in a convoluted sort of way.

None of us wants to have to see a dog that’s hurt, let alone dead. But in Corpse Bride, we don’t feel the need to shed a tear for Scraps, the skeleton dog, because we realize that dogs are still as cute as ever in the afterlife.

Some people love them. Some people hate them. Caterpillars can be polarizing that way. Not in the movie A Bug’s Life, though, as Heimlich the caterpillar humorously eats his way to our hearts before becoming, in his words, “a beautiful butterfly.”

With another entry from A Bug’s Life, Pixar makes us think twice about reaching for the bug spray at the sight of ants by giving them brighter colors and cuter proportions, making us root for the ants to win the day. Especially Dot. She’s just so darn cute!

Okay, ogres might not be real, but when they appear in fiction, they usually aren’t exactly what you’d call “attractive.” And while you’d hesitate to call Shrek “cute” at first, he does grow on you. In this case, perhaps his attractiveness comes from the inside.

Pixar did it again. In a movie about a robot, Wall-E’s cockroach companion steals the show for a moment when it pokes its head out of a Twinkie, looking cuter than any teddy bear.

How many of us would stick around with a snake nearby? The deadliness of the Viper in Kung Fu Panda isn’t threatening to the kids who watch it, who instead of running away, cheer on as it fights alongside Po and the rest of the animal Kung Fu masters.

Every single time you spin, you will be better than the last, and that moment when you have been trying a trick for a while and then suddenly get it right for the first time is indescribable. It builds pathways in the brain and is amazing meditation, not to mention how addictive it is to hear the fire whooshing around your body. Regardless of how amazing it might sound, I would not advise anyone to spin or play with fire unless you have had some practice, and even then you should take care to protect your body and hair, and remember not to wear any plastic based clothes when spinning as it will result in severe burns. Definitely worth a try for anyone who wants to learn an amazing new skill.

Juggling has been around for thousands of years. The first depictions where found in an ancient Egyptian tomb, with other depictions also found in Chinese, Indian, Greek, Roman, Norse, Aztec and Polynesian cultures. In the 1700s juggling was introduced to circuses, in which they are best known today. Through the evolution of juggling, jugglers have been using more and more dangerous instruments for shock value, but none compare to the beauty of fire juggling. Fire juggling balls are made from a round spiral of wire with a wick secured in the center of the ball. Fire clubs are similar to normal juggling clubs but with a wick at one end. With practice and a variety of different kinds of throws, beautiful patterns can be formed by the fire.

I am sure everyone has seen, owned or wanted nunchaku (nunchuks in the western world). These double short sticks attached by a chain have a variety of possible origins, all from the east. One theory is that they were originally used to flail (beat till the grains are separated from the husks) rice and soybeans, in a time when commoners were not permitted to carry formal weapons. When war broke out and everybody had to arm themselves, any common object became a weapon. Nunchuku have evolved into a form of contact martial arts since then, and are now also used in flow arts. By adding a wick at either end of the sticks, they are transformed into an amazing fire spinning tool, with a wide variety of possible moves.

The rope dart or rope javelin is an ancient Chinese weapon that consists of a sharp dart attached to a chain and then to a long rope (2-3 meters). The dart could be thrown at an enemy and then pulled back to the wielder. It allowed for a variety of moves including spinning, throwing and whipping out towards enemies. In the modern flow arts, the dart is replaced with a wick and the rope is secured to the left hand, allowing the right hand to throw out and spin around the burning end.

The diabolo, formerly known as the devil on two sticks, is an interesting and fun tool or toy. It consists of a spool which is perfectly weighted on either side with a thin contact point in the middle and a rope with a stick attached at either end. The spool can be run along, thrown and spun on the rope. The diabolo originated from the Chinese yo-yo and was standardized in the 12th century. Though normal diabolo are made from, rubber, plastic or a mix, fire diabolo are made from metal, with small wicks at the center of each cup.

The Buugeng or S staff is an interestingly shaped fire staff. It generally consists of a staff, with a grip at the center and either side bent into opposing half circles. The term Buugeng, meaning martial arts illusion, was coined by Japanese performer Dai Zaobab, but he was not the inventor of this interesting instrument. The S staff was first used by Michael Moschen, a Cirque du Soleil juggler who also won the MacArthur Foundation genius grant. Moschen’s inspiration for the staff came from the Chinese martial arts’ double dear horn. This instrument requires more concentration and knowledge of planes than a straight staff, but the result is a beautiful visual Kaleidoscope or optical illusion.

I am sure many of you are familiar with the devil sticks, which consists of three tools, used in unison. You have the baton and two control sticks, which are used to manipulate the baton stick. The Devil sticks have evolved over 3000 years, but the exact origins are unknown. When spinning fire devil sticks, only the batons’ ends have wicks. This can give the illusion of the baton floating around at night as one cannot see the control sticks. There are many patterns that can be created with the devil sticks and it can also become a team sport, where two or more people can pass around or juggle back and forth the baton.

Hoops have been played and danced with for a thousand years. The first hoops where toys which were made from fines and pushed around with sticks or rotated around the body (hula hoops) but they have evolved into a great flow art movement. Fire hoops are generally made from aluminum, with wick spokes sticking out around it. Either one large hoop or two smaller hoops can be used and they are spun around and tossed to the beat of the music. In addition to looking amazing, spinning hoops also offer a great form of aerobic exercise and the possibility of movements can be endless.

Fire fans are metal fans with wicked prongs sticking out at the ends. Fire fans can be used in different forms, one being belly dancing in which fans are moved, swayed and turned slowly with the movement of the body and the other being tech spinners, which use more upbeat music with much faster and more intricate spinning. There are two main types of fans: collapsible, which can open up to 180° and can give the illusion of one wick turning into many, or non-collapsible, which is fixed at 90° and has finger holds at the bottom. Even though the collapsible fans sound more appealing, the lack of finger holds makes spinning impossible and so they are mostly used in belly dancing where extravagant moves are not required.

Poi where first used by the Maori people of New Zealand and are still widely used by them today. They are essentially just weighted objects attached to chains or strings with a grip at the other end. These are swung around in unison to make rhythmic circular patterns. The word poi refers to the spinning instruments, the music spun to, and the performance. In Maori culture the women are the main spinners but it is believed that the men also used to spin poi to gain wrist flexibility for combat. A poi performance usually includes singing or dancing and can be done synchronized with a partner or a group. Poi are available in many forms, including sock poi, LED poi and fire poi which can have up to three wicks on one chain. To make your own poi to start practicing with, all you need is knee high socks or stockings and some tennis balls. Poi have also evolved into other fire spinning tools, such as the meteor, which is one long chain with a grip at the center and two wicks or weights at the ends. To learn some poi moves, go to www.playpoi.com.

I will be damned if anyone has never played with a broom, hockey stick, golf stick or in fact, any stick. The staff is one of the oldest weapons and a stick is in the Museum of Historical Toys for being the oldest toy. There are martial arts revolving solely around staffs and they were even used in medieval Britain as a weapon. In the flow arts, there are a variety of possible staff practices including: single staff, double staff, contact staff and wands. Fire staffs mostly all have wicks at either ends, except for the wand, which only has one wick, though some staffs can have up to three wicks per side. The staffs can be twirled around the body, tossed in the air, wrapped around specific parts of the body and stalled in various patterns. Modern LED staffs are also available for spinning where fire is not permitted.

Notable omissions: Meteor, Whip, Contact Juggling, Fire Fingers, Fire Swords and Fire knifes

Obviously the shows listed here are U.S.-based TV shows. I’m sure there are probably shows in other countries that had actors die and be written out of the show. I came close to adding Ronnie Barker, but the show he was involved with at the time of his death was a compilation of previous comedy skits with the other Ronnie (Corbett), and technically played himself most of the time. I had a hard enough time finding some of these in the list – you’re welcome to add your own. I’ve arranged these in the order of “star” power; the closer the actor was to the center of the scene, the higher up the list.

Biggs was a regular supporting actor on the show. He died from complications following an aortic dissection on May 22, 2004 (the same condition as #1 only 6 months prior). In the show, his character was killed in an unseen traffic accident. The show continued until 2006.

Hexum played Mac Harper, a former Marine hired by Dani Reynolds (Jennifer O’Neill) to locate her husband. Hexum appeared in only seven episodes. On October 12, 1984, while joking between scenes, Hexum took a blank-loaded .44 Magnum and pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. Despite being a prop gun with blanks, the wadding was fired with enough force to send skull fragments into Hexum’s brain, causing massive hemorrhaging. He was taken off life-support six days later. Australian actor Antony Hamilton was brought in to play another member of Harper’s team, stepping in while Harper was away on assignment. Later, it was revealed that Hexum’s Harper character was killed in action. The show was cancelled after the one season.

Hyland played Joan Bradford, wife to Tom Bradford (Dick Van Patten) and mother to eight children. Diana played in only four episodes of the first season before falling ill. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and died March 27, 1977, 12 days after the first episode aired. She was written out of the remainder of the first season, and at the beginning of Season 2, Tom was a widower who later remarried.

Interesting note: Hyland was dating John Travolta at the time of her illness, and died in his arms.

Allport played a brief supporting role as Andrew Campbell, father of ad man Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) in Season 1 of this series surrounding a New York ad agency in the early 1960s. Allport, an avid hiker, was one of three people killed January 28, 2008 by avalanches near Mountain High, a ski resort near Wrightwood in the San Gabriel Mountains east of Los Angeles. Near the beginning of Season 2, while the agency looked to woo American Airlines as a larger client, a plane crash involving the airline proves a public relations nightmare. Pete suggests to American Airlines that the agency has someone who knows the airline’s pain, revealing that his father was one of those killed in the plane crash.

Conrad played officer Phil Esterhaus, who ended each roll call on the show with “Let’s be careful out there.” The part earned Conrad two Emmy Awards for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series (1981, 1982). In November 1983, during the fourth season, Conrad died of urethral cancer. In the episode “Grace Under Pressure,” the character Phil Esterhaus dies while making love to Grace Gardner (a recurring character played by Barbara Babcock), leaving the precinct in shock.

Davis played Jock Ewing, patriarch of the Ewing oil family, and father to J.R. (Larry Hagman), Gary (Ted Shackelford) and Bobby (Patrick Duffy). Davis appeared in 75 episodes from Seasons 1-3, working as much as he could despite his diagnosis with multiple myeloma and the subsequent chemotherapy. As the third season progressed, his condition required him to be seated and at times wearing a wig. A storyline had Jock separating from his wife, Miss Ellie (Barbara Bel Geddes), then reuniting for an extended second honeymoon at the end of the third season which kept Davis off-screen. Davis died April 26, 1981, while Season 3 was still on the air. Rather that write him out of the show immediately, Jock Ewing was kept in the story for another 13 episodes, away in South America exploring for oil. Jock Ewing “died” in a helicopter crash in the episode “The Search,” which aired January 8, 1982.

Nicholas played Ernie “Coach” Pantusso, a regular congenial character on “Cheers” for the first three seasons. Colasanto died of a heart ailment February 12, 1985; his last episode was “Cheerio, Cheers.” The hugely successful show continued on for another eight seasons (11 total). Rather than write Coach directly out of the show, Coach’s character was continually referred to over the course of the show. His absence was attributed to some excuse, either he was away visiting or otherwise doing something away from the bar. Colasanto appeared in the credits all the way to the end of Season 3. He wasn’t replaced directly, but Woody Harrelson joined the show to fill the void. Colasanto had a picture of Geronimo in his dressing room which had special meaning to him; the cast and crew displayed the picture on the main set in his honor. At the end of the final episode, Sam (Ted Danson) silently pauses to straighten the picture on his way out of the bar.

Most notable for his role in “Sanford and Son,” Redd was looking for a comeback with this new series. The show centered around Alphonso Royal (Foxx) and his wife Victoria (Della Reese), a couple hoping for a quiet retirement until interrupted by their daughter Elizabeth and her three children. During rehearsals on set, Foxx collapsed. It was first thought it was part of the character’s act, but Foxx’s heart attack was real, and fatal. By then, seven episodes had been completed with favorable ratings. The immediate thought was to cancel the show, but it was decided to continue with Al’s character written out and cast changes to keep up the show. After 15 episodes and declining ratings, The Royal Family was cancelled.

Hartman played Bill McNeal, a news co-anchor at TV station WNYX. Hartman was shot to death by his wife, Brynn, on the morning of May 28, 1998, who afterward committed suicide. “NewsRadio” had completed four seasons by this time. At the beginning of the fifth season, the character Bill was revealed to have had a heart attack. As a “dying wish,” Bill left notes for each of the other characters to be read on his passing.

At the time of his death, Phil Hartman made guest appearances on “3rd Rock from the Sun” (as Vicki’s ex-lover) and “The Simpsons.” Hartman voiced various characters over 54 episodes of the latter, including recurring character Troy McClure (a washed-up actor). McClure appears for the last time in the episode “Bart the Mother,” which aired four months after Hartman’s death – the episode is dedicated to him.

Ritter played the main character, Paul Hennessy, a sports writer prompted to play a more active role as dad to his two teenage daughters and son. During rehearsal for the fourth episode of the second season, Ritter complained of discomfort, and he was taken to the hospital. He died September 11, 2003 as a result of an aortic dissection (a tear in the aorta causing blood to flow and force the layers of the heart apart), thought at first to be a heart attack. In the show, Paul collapses in a grocery store, supposedly of a heart ailment. A one-hour episode titled “Goodbye” aired November 4, 2003, dedicated to Ritter. The show continued, with the plot working around the death of Paul. Despite moving to different timeslots and the introduction of new actors (Suzanne Pleshette, James Garner and David Spade), the ratings continued to slide, and eventually the show was cancelled after the third season in May, 2005.

Interesting note: Ritter also voiced the title character of the animated series “Clifford: The Big Red Dog.” By the time of his death, Ritter had completed 68 television episodes and work on the feature movie, which was released posthumously. PBS had just debuted “Clifford’s Puppy Days” before Ritter’s death, a serendipitous continuation of the Clifford legacy.

Reeves became synonymous with Superman, playing the title character throughout the series. Hamilton played Perry White, the editor of the ‘Daily Planet’ newspaper. On October 15, 1958, Hamilton died of a heart attack, age 71. His death threw a wrench in plans to continue the series through 1960. Pierre Watkin was brought in to play the brother of Hamilton’s character. Then on June 15, 1959, Reeves died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, although the circumstances of his death has aroused controversy and conspiracy since. Still, producers hoped to continue with the show. Their idea was to focus more on Superman’s pal Jimmy Olsen (played by Jack Larson) using stock shots of Reeves and stand-ins for behind shots. Larson rejected the idea out of hand, and the show was basically over. (Larson reprised the role in 1996 as an aged Jimmy Olsen, in one episode of “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”).

Names for these animal thespians can be confusing as many were billed not by their given names but by the role they played, or not billed at all.

The top five animal actors on this list are all dogs. These dogs all gave performances that many times went beyond doing tricks. The top dog on this list could shame Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey, and many other A-list actors.

A tip of the hat must go to Frank Weatherwax, his better known brother Rudd, and Frank Inn. Together and separately, they trained many animals from at least the Thirties into the Eighties. Frank Inn started as an assistant to the Weatherwax brothers and later struck out on his own, training the animals for The Beverley Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction and Green Acres. Rudd Weatherwax is known to millions for his dog food endorsements with Lassie. These trainers are mentioned in this list more than once.

NBC Television had launched The Today Show with Dave Garroway. Ratings were dreadful, until someone got the idea of adding a chimpanzee as a mascot. Ratings for the show improved dramatically, and television sales increased as well. J Fred didn’t do tricks, didn’t read the weather forecast, or laugh at Garroway’s jokes. He was, like many actors and artists, somewhat temperamental, but kept his job because he was ratings gold. He had at least one guest starring role as an actor on the television program, Tom Corbett Space Cadet. He was born in 1952 and first appeared on the Today show, wearing diapers, in 1953. In addition to his television work, J Fred Muggs is a painter, and created a cover for June 1960 issue of Mad magazine. I could not find an obituary for J Fred, and I have references to his living in Florida in 2004. This would make him the only living member of this list. When The Today Show had its 50th anniversary program, J. Fred was not invited.

Bamboo Harvester was the star, along with Alan Young, of the television program Mr. Ed. On the program he was not credited under his own name, but as the title character, “Mr. Ed.” Bamboo was trained by Les Hilton, who had also worked on the Francis The Talking Mule movie series of the 1950s, training the mule, whose actual name was Molly. Bamboo Harvester and Molly appeared to talk by having a nylon thread placed in their mouths which, when pulled by Hilton, made the animal move his lips. Bamboo was picked for the role of Mr. Ed as he was not temperamental and could work with the string in his mouth for hours without complaint. The reason Bamboo makes this list and not Molly is that, according to both Hilton and series star Alan Young, Bamboo eventually figured out that he was supposed to move his lips when Young stopped talking, and the thread was no longer needed. The thread can be seen in early episodes of the program, but not in later ones, bearing this out. When interviewed during the show’s production, Young stated the effect was achieved by putting peanut butter on the horse’s gums, but this story was used to keep the real method secret. Mr. Ed’s voice was supplied, unaccredited, by former cowboy star Allan “Rocky” Lane.

Highland Dale was the black stallion who starred in Black Beauty, in 1946. Born in 1943 in Missouri, Highland Dale acted from the 1940s until the 1960s, in both movies and television roles. Trained by Ralph McCutcheon to untie knots, play dead and whinny on command, Highland Dale later starred on the television show, Fury, with Peter Graves and Bobby Diamond. Highland Dale’s last credited appearance was guest staring on an episode of Lassie. Highland Dale passed away of respiratory problems in 1972.

Spike, a yellow Labrador, portrayed Old Yeller in the Disney movie of the same name. If you haven’t seen the film, have a hanky nearby. He was rescued from an animal shelter by Frank Weatherwax. In addition to Old Yeller he appeared in the movies A Dog of Flanders, The She-Creature and The Silent Call. He made television appearances as well, including an episode of The Mickey Mouse Club.

Golden Cloud appeared in movies before being purchased by Roy Rogers and renamed Trigger. Many movie cowboys had a trained horse, Tom Mix had Tony, William Hart had Fritz and Gene Autry rode more than one horse named Champion. These horses did jumping and riding tricks, but Trigger could take direction, and performed over a hundred tricks, such as untying Roy’s hands, walking on his hind legs, dancing and playing dead, all by voice command. His most incredible trick was that he was housebroken, which enabled Roy to take him in theaters and television studios. Trigger even had his own Dell comic book for a time. Trigger was stuffed after his passing and is now apparently owned by the cable channel Rural Free Delivery Television, which is opening a western museum.

Terry was a terrier who is most famous for playing Toto in The Wizard of Oz. She worked in over a dozen other films including Bright Eyes with Shirley Temple, and her last movie, Tortilla Flat with Spencer Tracy and Hedy Lamar. Terry was seldom credited under her real name and in Oz is credited as Toto. It was while working on Oz that Terry’s foot was broken by an actor playing one of the Wicked Witches soldiers. Terry recovered, and made many films afterward. An “autobiography” of Terry was released and occasionally is available at Amazon.

Pal was working as a stunt dog on the 1943 MGM movie Lassie Comes Home, with child stars Roddy McDowell and Elizabeth Taylor. Pal had lost the title role to a prized female show collie, however during production Pal was selected as the lead. There are conflicting accounts as to why this happened, but Pal proved to be a one-take wonder and starred in seven movies for MGM. Pal was owned and trained by Rudd Weatherwax, with assistance from his brother Frank, and later Frank Inn. When MGM stopped making Lassie films, they still owed Rudd money and he accepted the rights to the Lassie character, in lieu of payment. He took the Lassie character to television for a series that ran from 1954 until 1973. Though Pal’s son (named Lassie Jr.) had taken over his role in the movie series a few years before, Pal took the Lassie role one more time for the pilot episode, and apparently was present in the studio while his progeny worked the role. He was used as the occasional backup. Pal passed away in 1958.

Skippy was a wire-haired terrier trained by original owners Henry and Gale East, with assistance from the Weatherwax brothers and Frank Inn. Skippy is best known from his role as Asta in the first two Thin Man Movies with Myrna Loy and William Powell. He was billed as Asta in those movies and look-alike dogs appeared later in the Thin Man series billed under that name. Skippy also appeared in many films, both before and after The Thin Man. He was an “extra” in some films and featured in others. A couple of his prominent roles, besides Asta, were as Mr. Smith the dog in The Awful Truth and as George in Bringing Up Baby, both with Cary Grant. Skippy suffered from inconsistent billing in his time, sometimes being credited as Skippy, Asta or not at all. After Skippy passed away, other terriers were credited as Asta. Skippy shows a good acting range in his movies, acting afraid, mad or doing an impersonation of a bloodhound.

The original Rin Tin Tin was a dark German Shepard owned and trained by a World War One veteran from Los Angeles, Lee Duncan. He brought the dog back from France after the war, training him to do tricks. He hoped Rin Tin Tin would follow in the footsteps of previous celebrity movie canines, Jean The Biograph Dog and Strongheart. The dog found work playing wolves in early features. Rin Tin Tin became hugely popular in the 1920s and 1930s, and his movies were big moneymakers for Warner Brothers, credited with saving the company, financially. The film series helped get Daryl Zanuck promoted to a prominent position within that studio as Zanuck was an early champion of the film series. (Perhaps without these movies, there would be no Time-Warner conglomerate today.) Rin Tin Tin appeared in a series of movies playing “Rinty” (also his real nickname), as well as taking other canine roles, such as “Scotty” in Tiger Rose in 1931. By 1930, he had his own radio program on the NBC Blue network. The radio reference book “The Big Broadcast” by Buxton and Owen references Francis X. Bushman as his co-star on that program. Rin Tin Tin played himself, barking and growling on cue. In 1932, Rin Tin Tin passed away. There had already been a transition to his son, Rin Tin Tin Jr., both on the radio show and in the movies. There have been many Rin Tin Tins since the original, all from the original bloodline. The original Rin Tin Tin has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The 1976 film comedy, Won Ton Ton: The Dog Who Saved Hollywood is a spoof on the Rin Tin Tin craze.

Higgins was the Tom Hanks of animal actors, with an acting range wider than that of many human professionals. He is best known for playing the title role in Benji. He had a regular role on the C.B.S. television comedy Petticoat Junction as Dog, and appeared in other movies and television programs. He was trained by Frank Inn, who also trained the animals on The Beverly Hillbillies and Green Acres. Like many actors, Higgins started from humble beginnings, a mixed breed in an animal shelter. Frank Inn considered Higgins his best pupil. Although Higgins could do over a hundred tricks, he was much more than a well-trained dog. He also could show emotions on cue, acting afraid, interested, sad or bored as needed. He could sneeze or yawn on cue. He could do romantic comedy, or go full-tilt Rambo as required. The original Benji film (subsequent movies used other dogs) was not his only starring role, he also was the star of Mooch Goes To Hollywood, with Zsa Zsa Gabor and Vincent Price as his co-stars. Higgins played the title role. While working on Petticoat Junction, he developed a special relationship with co-star Edgar Buchanan and their work together in Benji could be one of the most natural performances by a canine and man on film. The urn with his ashes was buried in the casket of his trainer, Frank Inn.

Notable omissions: Arnold The Pig (he just had great writers and there were many Arnolds), Moose, who played Eddie on television’s Frazier, Manis, from the film Every Which Way But Loose, and Mitzi, the original Flipper from the 1963 film.

Bolstered by a whopping 15 different playfields, Diner is the single most amazing game for the Intellivision. Players have a rollicking good time as they climb ladders, grab side orders, shake pepper at rotten foods (hotdogs, bananas, cherries and root beer), and kick food balls down ramps and over ledges to fill plates at the bottom of the screen. Diner is the sequel to BurgerTime, but it never appeared in the arcades or on any other system, making it a must-have for Intellivision owners. The only setback is that it’s hard to find.

Tight controls, slick gameplay and a timeless theme make Beauty & the Beast one of the most enjoyable, most arcade-like games for the Intellivision. The ladder climbing format evokes Donkey Kong, but the game is vastly superior to Coleco’s dreadful Intellivision port of DK. Imagic was one of the best developers for the Intellivision, and this game shows why.

An extremely faithful port of Bally Midway’s 1982 arcade game, BurgerTime is seven screens (one up from the ColecoVision version) of ladder climbing, burger building action. Flourishes include no flickering (unlike the Coleco game), excellent controls, and an animated title screen. BurgerTime truly earned its role as the pack-in title with the Intellvision II (a cheaper, modified version of the original Intellivision).

Borrowing gameplay mechanics from both Qix and Disco No. 1, Thin Ice is a truly delightful entry in the Intellivision library. Players guide Duncan the penguin as he skates around a frozen pond, drawing lines with his skates that weaken the ice. Duncan’s fiendish objective is to dunk (hence his name) a seal, polar bears and other penguins. Edible shrimp cocktails (which make Duncan faster) and a Zamboni machine that repairs the ice are icing on the proverbial cake.

Fans of Missile Command and Centipede will love the surprisingly fast gameplay of Worm Whomper, which has players guiding a spray gun up and down the screen, shooting poison and plough balls (to the right) at hoards of slugs, bugs, snails and other creepy crawlies attacking Felton Pinkerton’s corn crop. Worm Whomper is a nice change of pace from the scores of slower, more methodical games in the Intellivision library.

Gamers who have only played the Atari 2600 version of Atlantis are missing out. The Intellivision rendition is deeper and more enjoyable, thanks to the inclusion of a sentinel saucer, day-to-night transitions, and a gun sight that can maneuver all around the screen. The 2600 game is fun, but its point-and-shoot gameplay is far more simplistic. Atlantis is another winner from the good folks at Imagic.

Bump ’n’ Jump is one of the great guilty pleasures of classic gaming. Players drive a car up the screen, trying to outrace computer-controlled cars. Sounds harmless enough, right? Wrong! The real fun of the game is in bumping into other cars, crashing them into roadside obstacles. Even more fun is jumping over waterways and on top of other cars. The Intellivision version of the game is an excellent port of the coin-op classic and even includes the dump trucks, which are absent from the ColecoVision version.

Demon Attack for the Intellivision isn’t necessarily better than the stellar Atari 2600 version, but it is an interesting game in its own right, adding nice backgrounds (of the earth and the moon) and a beautifully illustrated, Phoenix-like mothership to the demonic bird killing formula. Intellivision owners wanting a break from shooting hoops, hitting home runs, and scoring touchdowns should try the slide-and-shoot pleasures of Demon Attack. Imagic has another winner.

Lock ’N’ Chase takes the dot eating, maze roaming fun of Pac-Man and places it within a cops-and-robbers setting. A player-guided thief with four policemen on his tail runs around grabbing gold coins, locking doors behind him, when necessary, to throw the cops off his tail. Despite some graphical simplifications, the game is a nice port of the Data East coin-op semi-classic.

An amalgamation of Space Invaders and Asteroids, Astrosmash isn’t the most challenging game on the planet, but it is one of the best, most popular titles for the system. As rocks, spinners, missiles and UFOs, rain down from the skies, players shoot them down with a laser battery that operates along the bottom of the screen, losing points if the objects get past. Astrosmash was the first Intellivision game that could be paused, and, in late 1982, it replaced Las Vegas Poker & Blackjack as the pack-in title with the system.

However, all falls are not created equally, and as we view ten of the greatest falls caught on tape, special attention must be paid to the different varieties of the fall-down, as each has its own unique set of characteristics and delights.

Slipping on ice is one of the funniest circumstances for a fall. This is because the nature of ice provides two things: both a complete lack of body control as the person goes down, combined with that person’s perception that they can rectify the situation and avoid the inevitable fall – when your feet are sliding around beneath you, rather than suddenly out from under you, there’s a sense you can right yourself. Unfortunately, this misconception often makes the drama that much better.

As will be further proven in a moment, news programs often inadvertently broadcast, or even encourage, the ass-busting of our fellow man. This clip from the RTE News in Dublin was simply a slice-of-life set-up on the street, in order to show the blustery conditions. Instead, it caught this marvelous slip on ice. Note that the man attempts to use the wall to stop his fall. Also, watch the way his head bounces off the icy pavement.

This recent trend, used by amateur women to combine fitness with their blossoming sexualities, has produced some great falls. This is because many of these women have no athleticism or artistic ability, and so approach the pole like a playground monkey-bar. And how many of us have ever fallen off the monkey-bars?

This drunken woman’s fall is one of the most viewed tumbles in web history, and for good reason. She appears to be fooling around at a fair or festival. Watch how she gets stuck up on the pole, causing her to almost lock up, which precipitates a slide – face-first – into the ground. Again, notice the fantastic head-bounce, and the fact that this clearly happened in front of many people for whom she was trying to show-off.

This is always enticing because the subject of the fall is inevitably grandstanding on the diving board, or is taking their dive way too seriously. The above video was selected because of its popularity, the fact that the kid slipped backwards onto his face.

On-location reporters and correspondents often put themselves in dangerous positions in order to capture a story. War, natural disasters, crime – these folks go everywhere. That’s why it’s so ironic that the greatest news fall happened during a grape-stomping segment. This legendary video is just as famous for the audio as it is for the actual trip. But really, it’s the entire package that causes it to rise above its peers.

Large people falling down should have a website all of its own. This is because heavy people often have less control of their bodies than others (odd, considering their center of gravity), and the fact that when they do fall, they create more devastation than skinnier klutzes. And why do so many obese people think a table will support them? Oddly, there are many clips of huge people falling off tables. This one takes the cake, though. It has received some very serious web attention, and the woman absolutely upends herself while desperately trying to look cool.

Drunks make excellent fallers because falling is one of the quintessential elements of over-the-top drunkenness. The lack of limb control and balance is delightful. An entire category could be made for falls during field-sobriety tests, as many of these are caught on tape nowadays with police dashboard cams. But the selection here has to be this guy, whose already been brought into the station-house. The highlight of this clip, which was shown all over national TV on The World’s Dumbest Criminals, is actually the second fall out in the hallway, though it is the first tumble that causes the perp to put a hole in the police station wall with his head.

There have been so many great falls in the world of entertainment, whether they be on the red carpet, or onstage with Beyonce, J-Lo, and Lady Gaga. But the modeling industry gets the top vote today. These models (who are generally ugly) are so smug and self-important as they confidently march down the runway in asinine clothing, that when a glitch occurs, it’s priceless. This one is classic because of the model’s protracted struggle with, and defeat by, her preposterous shoes.

There are plenty of good falls in sports, though too many of them involve the mechanics of playing the actual game, which logically puts players in the position to often hit the dirt. But it feels like cheating to come down on a baseball or football player who stumbles trying to make catch, or a sprinter who falls when running as hard as he or she can. That’s why this mascot clip is perfect. Mascots are idiotic distractions anyway, so no one cares when Wolfie, the University of Nevada mascot, horrifically plummets off the dugout in the above clip. His rival mascot clearly lacks the humanity to help him, so instead just chooses to go on with the show.

Kids make great subjects for falls, usually because of their naiveté and innocence. They surprise easily, and react with gusto. They also don’t usually get embarrassed and try to cover for their gaffe, but rather sit and revel in their brutal misery. The above clip is one of the most popular in the history of the Internet, and is still very funny. A Mexican boy is harassed by his friend, who causes him to fall into the water beneath the flimsy log bridge. The victim’s angry tears at the end are exquisite.

These falls are unique because the emphasis isn’t so much on what the person looks like when they go down, as it is where they end up falling. It’s amazing how many videos exist of people not paying attention, and plummeting through manholes. Usually the humor comes from the quick look of utter shock on their faces, and then their swift and complete disappearance into the abyss. This trapdoor fall wins the prize. Showed on many television programs featuring accidents and caught-on-tape moments, and the recipient of millions of internet hits, we know that this worker in a Dublin pub (what the hell’s going on in Ireland?) is about to get obliterated. In fact, the suspense is almost as good as the fall.

Though not gaming’s best innovation, many consoles of the early 1990s (such as 3DO, Philips CD-i, and Sega CD) had dedicated major portions of their software libraries to this trend. Sony would eventually wipe them all out with the first PlayStation, when computer-generated 3D would finally prove itself as flexible and viable game space. Yet for a time, there is no denying the most “real” gaming was accredited to FMV titles, and these titles (in no particular order) tried to push the boundaries in some form or another.

Having debuted in the arcades in 1990, the Wild West inspired Mad Dog McCree was a light gun game that placed you in the role of “The Stranger”, who arrived in town to save the Mayor’s daughter from the notorious Mad Dog. Actors portraying various outlaws would pop out from behind random objects on a stationary screen, a la Nintendo’s Duck Hunt, but with cowboys. For many gaming enthusiasts, the low grade acting chops and cheesy lines (not to mention cold teasing of the undertaker each time you failed) are the game’s most memorable traits. Mad Dog had a sequel, not to mention a few copycat off-shoots, which have seen various re-releases over the years (including a DVD video version you could play simply with a DVD remote). The title did, however, offer a legitimate test of reflexes on harder difficulties, although home ports that followed could be cheated in the same manner as Duck Hunt if you felt like standing 3 inches from your television and not even trying to aim.

Animated by Don Bluth of The Land Before Time fame, Dragon’s Lair made national news around its heyday for a truly original design concept. The full-motion cartoon video made it the first of its kind, and an inspiration on the genre’s core function. The saga unfolds continuously as the player watches, following the brave Dirk on his adventure to rescue a kidnapped princess. You are unable to liberally move the character as you would a Mario game, as only at specific “fork in the road” moments would the player be able to tap a direction at the correct prompt and affect Dirk’s fate. Hitting “right” instead of the correct “left” at a prompt, for example, could mean all the difference between Dirk jumping out of the way of a projectile or taking it right to the face.

The game is notoriously difficult without advance knowledge of when and where to input the proper command. It was met with a sequel and its legacy extends beyond the video game community, albeit overshadowed by arcade legends such as Pac-man and Donkey Kong. Family Guy even took a crack at Dragon’s Lair during an intro sequence, where Peter claims he once nearly conquered the game, only to have a flashback which reveals his immediate failure towards the ending.

First and foremost, the acting in this title was not nearly as bad as Mad Dog McCree, although the slow mystery-based gameplay easily made the title more appropriate for older gamers, with a good enough PC running DOS to play it. Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective predates most of the games on this list, having arrived in 1990, and contains various elements of lie detection and evidence analyzation across three unique cases. To its credit, pieces of real life history are portrayed through the game’s footage, adding an educational value and helping the gameplay experience become a more immersive one, compared to some of the shooting-oriented FMV titles of the era.

A game like 1995′s Phantasmagoria simply would not exist on today’s market. The game’s fearless portrayal of life-like torture and dismemberment might put the polygonal shenanigans of Grant Theft Auto to shame and, unquestionably, make Phantasmagoria the most violent FMV game ever. The title took a page or two from the grindhouse filmmaking style pushed forth by horror godfathers like Hershell Gordon Lewis and, for these reasons, it had a cult following in the mid 1990s, despite poor critical reception. Interestingly, most of the game’s recorded fan base hails from Japan, where an exclusive box set was released towards the end of the decade.

You could at least “move” yourself around a lot of the time in Phantasmagoria, as the onscreen character, Adrienne, was superimposed over backgrounds separately during most traveling sequences. Yet much of the gameplay came through prompts during cutscenes. The title is notable for having been pioneered by King’s Quest designer Roberta Williams, who cited the title as a defining game of her career. Due to technological limitations, Phantasmagoria spanned seven – that’s right, seven – CDROM discs at time of release.

This 1995 game took influence from Stargate-style storytelling and introduced fairly challenging puzzles to an otherwise expected formula of properly-timed prompts. Probably the biggest claim to recognition for The Dasdalous Encounter would be the starring role of Tia Carrere, who was fresh out of appearing in both Wayne’s World films. The game gets a nod for upping the acting standards of the genre, while the onscreen interface and direct-to-player dialogue was far more fluid and seamless than preceding FMV titles. However, even as such advancements were being made, the game arrived at the end of the 90s FMV craze, and was not a top seller.

The FMV wave had died and been put to rest by 1998, and yet Fox Interactive tried to revive the style that year with a licensed title in the form of The X-Files: The Game on PC and PlayStation. As with most FMV games, most of the game’s entertainment value is in viewing the performances of on-screen actors; surprisingly, the title included appearances by the hit TV show’s main actors, including David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Yet in terms of gameplay, it was still a matter of minor influence in between performances. Though real backdrops and items were filmed, the game at least adopted a point-and-click mechanism similar to the famous Myst franchise, which made for a slightly more fluid feeling of progress for what was largely an FMV game.

Stop laughing, that really is the name of the game. 1995′s Snow Job was an exclusive to the 3DO platform and basically played out like a bad detective porno, without the explicit sex scenes. The game is recalled for taking advantage of then-new technology, where still-photos could be taken side-to-side in a single area, and then patched together and bent on a 2D scroll, so it would look as though the area is surrounding the player as they panned. Real areas were photographed and make up the game entirely, while actors were frozen in these photos, only moving when the player clicked them to cutaway to a video.

Even more seamy than Snow Job, 1994′s Voyeur placed gamers in the seat of a private eye spying on corrupt white-collar folks involved in a political sabotage plot. This time, however, the tease of sexual content would deliver to perverse hopefuls, as the game, in fact, contained explicit nudity and sex scenes. In fact, no other PC game in the mainstream market had attempted something that brazen using real-life actors. Needless to say, Voyeur caused controversy in the early 1990s for its content when it was on public display at the Universal Studios City Walk in Hollywood, California, during promotions for the 3DO system. Retailers also removed the game when smothered with enough heat from outspoken critics.

This three-part game series was exclusive to the Sega CD, and to the surprise of many modern-day observers, included the likes of Mark Whalberg, Kris Kross and INXS. It was basically the same exact “game” released three times with different music, and yet not so much a “game” in that you have points to win or a story to finish. Basically, the Make My Video titles were baby steps for future Avid and Final Cut editors who had really cheesy taste in pop music.

With a limited soundtrack from each artist, players selected between streaming clips of royalty free stock footage or performance video of the artist, and dropped them into a timeline as the song played along. Players could then watch their finished product accompanied by the remarks of various wise-cracking actors. Even more bizarre, the game had the gall to judge you on your editing skills, despite the limits of the hardware in question, most often claiming that you might have done well but could have done better in most outcomes.

Night Trap gets a bum wrap, even from non-gamers, mainly for its unabashed cheesiness and lame soundtrack. Yet in theory, the game’s concept isn’t all that bad, marred only by its repetitiveness. The title starred Dana Plato (yes, Diff’rent Strokes Dana Plato) and revolved around a vacation home in a remote location of the United States, that is actually owned by a family of blood-thirsty vampires in disguise. As a group of naive girls visit the house one night, you are tasked with observing through hidden cameras across a half-hour timeframe and trapping any lurking vampires as they prowl for the girls. The seemingly innocent teen-horror concept resulted in a well-known backlash during 1993, when the United States Senate held a hearing on violent video games and somehow hyped Night Trap as a prime offender of childhood innocence. Yet, no nudity or extreme gore is included in the game, which was mislabeled as “an effort to trap and kill women” (despite the fact that players are actually rescuing them) and other ludicrous claims were made to demonize the game and further an agenda of forcing rating labels on video games.

The content was filmed in the late 1980s, but footage was locked away and would not be used for anything, until the game’s completion in 1992. Essentially, Night Trap takes the exact construct of Dragon’s Lair, but incorporates the concept with live action footage; you can’t do more than watch, and only trigger traps when a character has moved to the prompt. However, since the player could swap between the hidden cameras at any time, one could actually miss key dialogue and scenes happening in other rooms, and therefore was encouraged to replay the game from the start in order to see everything. This almost fixed the repetitious nature of the gameplay, but since only one story unfolded anyway, eventually desire to touch the game again was based on novelty purposes.

Arguably modern technology could make an even more immersive and less restricting FMV game than the 20th century allowed, but the industry has moved in a different direction altogether and the rise of multiplayer focus makes the concept even more impossible to grasp in today’s market. Don’t hold your breath for a Night Trap remake on Blu-ray anytime soon.

A monumental and popular piece of classical music, the 1812 Overture is perfectly suited for the Proms. The piece was written by Tchaikovsky in 1880, who planned its performance minutely. However, various events occurred which mean it is entirely possible that Tchaikovsky never heard the work as he wrote it. The piece commemorates the French invasion, and Russian repulsion of Napoleon, of 1812. The work includes a portion of La Marseillaise to represent the French, only to drown it with the famous cannon shots later. The ringing church bells at the end toll at the final victory of the Russians. The grandeur of the Albert Hall is suitable setting for so grand a piece of music.

It was a close tie between including Jupiter or Mars from Holst’s Planets suite. In the end I chose Jupiter because this performance is so superb. The orchestra maintains a playful air, necessary for a piece with the subtitle ‘Bringer of Jollity,’ but also finds the solemnity for the slower portion. Written between 1914-1916, the suite includes all the planets of the solar system then known, Pluto being discovered in 1930. When Pluto was downgraded to a dwarf planet Holst purists celebrated that the suite was once again complete. Considering the time it was written, it is fitting that the hymn ‘I vow to thee, my country’ has been arranged to this piece.

This entry may surprise some people. The Proms have always embraced innovation. Is a ukulele orchestra fitting for a classical music setting? Is Teenage Dirtbag suitable for the Royal Albert Hall? Who cares? It’s witty and entertaining, and in the Proms that is of paramount importance. Recent Proms have seen evenings dedicated to the music of Dr Who, Film music and the works of Stephen Sondheim. The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain have toured world wide and perform their covers of famous songs. Hearing Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights sung by a deep voiced Yorkshire man is a particular joy.

Continuing on the more light hearted nature of the Proms is this performance of Arnold’s A Grand, Grand Overture. The piece requires three vacuum cleaners, a floor polisher and four rifles. Where but the Proms can you see TV naturalist and national treasure David Attenborough earnestly playing an upright floor polisher before being shot? While it should be absurd to include such whimsical ‘instruments’ they do play an important role in the piece. This piece punctures the stuffy image of classical music, being by turns amusing, stirring and ridiculous.

But the Proms are not purely about toying with classical music and its public perception. It offers the public the chance to see world class performers playing great music at a reasonable price. This piece was composed by Rachmaninov as he recovered from a deep depression. What could be more serious than a melancholy Russian? The piece starts with heavy, slow, tense notes before finding the theme which will hold this concerto together. Rachmaninov may not be an ‘easy’ composer for the casual listener of classical music, but this piece is particularly moving. So moving that the second movement was pilfered to provide the backbone of Eric Carmen’s All By Myself.

The video above is of the fourth movement, possibly Mahler’s most famous, but I encourage you to listen to the whole work. There is no need to be snobby, however, and if you find that you can’t get through the whole symphony listen to whatever parts you enjoy most. Even hardcore classical events often play the fourth movement in isolation, so the Proms offer rare opportunities to listen to complete symphonies. Since every Prom is a sell-out event, it shows there is public hunger for intense music.

The Great Organ of the Royal Albert Hall was once the largest in the world, so a piece which shows it off to some extent was in order. Saint-Saens considered this symphony to be his best achievement and much of his earlier work can be heard in it throughout. I have never heard the piece performed live but apparently the lowest notes of the organ, almost inaudible, give a thrilling sensation.

Simply put – this is one of the most beautiful arias ever composed and, this, one of the finest performances of it. Also known as ‘Dido’s Lament’ it is the final aria from Purcell’s opera ‘Dido and Aeneas’ which tells of the epic love affair between Carthage and Rome. However, you need not have memorized the Aeneid to appreciate the emotion in Dido’s plea to her departing lover; “Remember me, but ah! forget my fate.” Committing suicide, Dido is remembered, but by the chorus and not the man she loved. Sarah Connolly sings the aria with clear emotion and without the artifice of some other more classical opera singers.

The last night of the Proms is known for putting on big, bold pieces of music that fill the hall. It is also known for a certain strain of jingoism and plays up to it. Certain pieces of music are required by the last night, or I suspect the crowd would go on a flag-wielding riot. The last night features performances of Jerusalem, God Save the Queen, Land of Hope and Glory and (of course) Rule Britannia. Elgar’s marches speak of the Edwardian British Empire when imperial pink covered a quarter of the globe. The confidence of the era sounds in every note. It is sure to get the Union Jacks waving.

This song, popular ever since it appeared in a court pageant about Alfred the Great, in 1740, is instantly recognizable. This video marks the second appearance of Sarah Connolly. She lends the song a lightness of touch and witty interpretation. What might be an over-the-top hymn to past glories becomes a fond in-joke. When she flourishes her ‘sword’ I defy you not to laugh.
This year’s last night of the Proms was on September 10th. It included songs from such disparate sources as Wagner’s Götterdämmerung and ’The Sound of Music.’

If this list has left you cold, or you do not enjoy classical music, have a quick watch of this short lecture. TED conferences are widely available online and are designed to disseminate ‘ideas worth spreading.’ Hopefully this one will be of interest.

An all-in-all scary dad and Korean War vet, he never actually lays a hand on his son, just threatens him ALL THE TIME with the prospect of him putting his foot, amongst other objects, up Eric’s ass. What he lacks in violence, he makes up in intolerance and temper. He can’t stand how “twitchy” and scrawny his son is, let alone his indifference to sports, nor can he stand what interests his son (Star Wars, comic books, action figures) or the way in which he communicates (sarcasm a.k.a. with a “smart mouth”). There is an inherent paradox in Red’s parenting methods: how can his son be both a “dumb-ass” AND a “smart-ass”?

He openly criticizes his son, with whom he has nothing in common. If there was a counter for the number of times he’s said “that boy ain’t right,” it would’ve broken long ago. It’s no secret he wishes his son were into sports and not prop comedy; in one episode, he reluctantly ends up passing on his boxing gloves to niece Luanne, rather than a son he knows will never use them. In another, he chooses to bond with a wooden dummy over his son when Bobby creates a sport-loving alter ego. Bobby angsts and his father fails to notice because he’s primarily got propane on the mind.

When Lois is not administering punishments, or screaming like a banshee trying to keep any one of her four boys in check, she’s counting off the days until she can legally kick her children out of the house, and/or ship them off to military school. She’s also unreasonably frugal. In one episode she orders youngest son Dewie to drink his powdered milk. He protests, “But it’s lumpy.” “Then chew it.” How cold and unfeeling can you get? Just ask Hal, the sycophantic husband who receives only a smidgeon more love then the other men in the house, though usually just in the form of vented steam.

They can’t stand each other, yet they stagnate in each other’s presence until death. But it’s not just each other they carry on an extremely dysfunctional relationship with. Marie is extremely judgmental and manipulative, guilting favorite son Raymond into anything, having him frequently play the monkey in the middle of his mother and wife’s bickering. Bad as that is, she completely neglects her other son, older brother Robert who clearly pains from a life of emotional neglect. Frank, on the other side of the living room, refuses to display any emotion, part of being a hardened war vet. All he cares about is when he’s going to get his next sandwich.

She often resorts to physical abuse in punishing her kids (we see scenes of Chris sobbing in his bed after she has finished effectively “disciplining” him… with a belt), that is when she’s not screaming her head off like a black version of Lois from “Malcolm in the Middle.” Meanwhile the dad is a complete softy who appeases his wife for fear of dire consequences, the relative Hal.

A psychological torture chamber embodied – Charlie and Alan Harper spend virtually every episode unloading emotional baggage and failing to carry on healthy relationships with women. While Alan is a fragile, neurotic type who copes only by complaining, brother Charlie opt for hedonism and self-destructive habits (i.e. loads of booze and meaningless sex) to keep repressed his troubled upbringing. He hates his mother and spending any time with her, and she does her best to come off innocent, while continuing to inflict torment through manipulation and unabashed insult. That and she is a terrible role model, terribly promiscuous at her age and accepting blame for nothing. It’s no wonder her children turned out as they did.

Every great dad drinks during the day and spends absolutely no time with his kids. Every great mom takes her own miserable circumstances out on her daughter. Also, adultery is a must. That is parenthood according to Don and Betty Draper. The work obsessed adman’s crumbling family is a portrait of suburban affluence, however it is a complete facade. Husband and wife attend social functions and host dinner parties, all the while resentment and loathing lurks beneath their trophy marriage. The daughter has already demonstrated clear daddy issues at her young age, as she pines for his attention to no avail. And the fact that Donald leads a double life his family knows nothing about, is another issue entirely.

Peter farts on his daughter and treats her worse than the family dog, that is when he’s paying attention to her, and he talks to Chris as if he is the same age. That and he frequently abandons the family for secret alternate families, whenever he has a whacky idea or inexplicable amount of power, and whenever his pals want to fish and drink beer. Simply put, he only cares about himself. When he frequently acts like Lois is his mom rather than his wife (“Yay! You’re letting me be myself!”), you see that he is too much a child himself to take care of his own, that he never outgrew his id. Lois isn’t much better. She’ll just as quickly forget her children, let her baby roam the countryside with the dog, to indulge Peter’s nonsense fantasies. Try the episode where they decide to just get all strung out on pot and lie naked on their living room couch. No shame between the two.

Homer Simpson chokes his son. Why Social Services has never intervened in a single episode in the last 20-plus years is a mystery. Beyond child abuse, Homer is frequently unthoughtful and even stupid to the point of harmfulness. In “Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken,” all the kids in Springfield are accused of being delinquents and pitted against the adults in the town. Homer says, “If kids are so innocent why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kid-napping, child abuse…” Bart asks, “What about adultery?” Homer replies, “Not until you’re older, son.” Not only does Homer fail to implicate himself as a child abuser, he encourages marital infidelity. It’s doubtful Bart will ever adjust to a world where slingshots aren’t the key to success.

In fictional terms, there are no worse parents than the Bundy’s, no more damaged a family than the one Al and Peggy are responsible for. Al demonstrably loathes his life and everyone involved, including his wife who begs him futilely for sex. The only thing he doesn’t neglect is his TV (or the inside of his pants by his hand). Peggy all but starves her children and spends all Al’s shoe store money on high heels and tacky decoratives, when she should be buying groceries. It’s no wonder the girl is so loose and needy and the boy is a maladjusted sexual deviant.

What makes these TV parents the worst of them all is that they are terrible parents in real life, as on reality TV. Forcing eight children to grow up in the public eye, even while the details of their parents collapsing marriage are vomited all over the media (affairs! negligence! dancing!), is the worst kind of exploitation. Jon and Kate, once normal people made spectacle for sheer birthing rate, are celebrities only because they were given so much unwarranted attention in the first place. The unfortunate collateral of cranking out cute kids by the dozen.

One of the biggest enemies of gamers was Jack Thompson, a former American attorney who seemed to have a personal hatred against video games. While he seemed to be concerned for children who played games, he also seemed very paranoid, believing children copy everything they see in games. Every time there was a crime involving firearms or weapons, or a murder, Thompson would immediately jump on the bandwagon and accuse video games of being responsible, with little evidence to back up his claims other than apparent “statistics.” He has taken on such games as Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat and, apparently, he even accused Mario, The Legend of Zelda and Metroid of driving kids to commit crime. He was eventually, and thankfully, barred from practicing law and the video game community rejoiced.

The Wii was considered one of Nintendo’s oddest but unique ideas, introducing the motion sensor controller, or at least a new version, to the gaming industry. However, within the first few months of the Wii’s days on the shelf, some people got a little carried away, swinging the Wii Remote and this led to some people smashing their windows, TVs, consoles and the remotes themselves. Other complaints came about the Wii Remote such as strained wrists and difficulties using the controller, but it was the damage the remote could cause that was the major complaint. However, while Nintendo fixed the remote by introducing the Wii Jacket, it was somewhat the fault of the remotes’ users for not using it safely with the remote’s safety strap.

Pokémon took the world by storm in the 1990s, with its games, manga comics, toys, trading cards and the anime. However, just as the anime was rocketing up into the sky, it came crashing down when the episode known as “Electric Soldier Porygon” aired in Japan, and gave over six-hundred children seizures with its flashing strobe lights. The impact was so shocking (no pun intended) that TV Tokyo pulled Pokémon from the schedule for four months, until 1998. As expected, America threw a fit, since they were also airing the anime and ultimately decided to not air the episode. This became a universal agreement across the world, and the episode has never aired on TV since.

Nokia is known for being huge in the mobile phone industry, and not so much in the gaming industry. Trying to sell their own gaming system at the 2003 E3 event, the N-Gage, the presenters were like fish out of water and the conference was awkward. Plus, the N-Gage proved not to be a very interesting or usable device, since its buttons were built for a phone. And then the presenters brought out the device’s price – on a girl’s stomach – $299. As you can imagine, the N-Gage did poorly in sales and Nokia gave up on it in 2010.

When it was announced that the Super Mario Bros. were to get a movie adaptation, gamers anticipated a wonderful tribute to the video games they had grown to love, not to mention that it was the first ever video game movie, but it was a mess. The colorful world of the Mushroom Kingdom had become a bizarre alternate world like some sort of post-apocalyptic Manhattan where dinosaurs evolved from humans, Bowser was the late Dennis Hopper, Goombas were odd dinosaur hitmen, and the Mario Bros. themselves were played by Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo.

Fans were undeniably disappointed, if not enraged, and this film, sadly paved the way for many more video game movies to fail at the box office. The actors condemned the film, blaming the husband-and-wife directing duo for making rubbish decisions, and extending the filming schedule into endless months of pain and misery. Even Mario and Luigi’s creator Shigeru Miyamoto, objected to the film, in his own nice way.

Activision made perhaps one of the biggest mistakes of their history by inviting Jamie Kennedy to host their 2007 E3 press conference. However, they didn’t count on Jamie coming to the conference stoned off his butt. Seemingly having no idea what he was doing or talking about, Jamie slurred through most of the conference, insulting the audience and telling some really rubbish jokes – he thought the audience were too slow to follow his “humor.” The guests and the audience themselves were funnier then him. Companies attending E3 have made some bad decisions on who their hosts will be, but this has got to be the worst.

Gunpei Yokoi’s career in the gaming industry, sadly, went out on a low note. The creator of Metroid, the Game & Watch series, and the Game Boy, Gunpei introduced the Virtual Boy to gamers. The console turned out to be Nintendo’s single flop in their history of consoles, the virtual reality console giving users headaches in more ways than one. It was quickly discontinued, Gunpei left Nintendo and then, sadly, died in a car accident in 1997.

Sony’s 2006 E3 conference was the most embarrassing conference in the convention’s history. While the Playstation 3 and Sony had success over the next few years, the incompetence of the presenters led to some hilarious internet memes – including the rather failed shout of “Ridge Racer!” to get the gamers present rallied up. But the conference is most known for the promo of Genji 2, which the makers said were based on historical, actual fights in Japanese history – and then a “giant enemy crab” bounded into it, completely opposing what was just said. How many giant crabs ran around Japan in the old days?

Early in 2011, the Playstation Network unexpectedly got shutdown for several weeks after an “external intrusion” – a.k.a. hackers stole 7.7 million accounts worth of personal details. Everyone from fans, to businessmen, to the media, to even governments ripped Sony left and right for them to fix their problems and criticized their failure to provide better security to the Network’s users. Nevertheless, Sony eventually fixed the Network, re-opened it in May, and made numerous apologies, including a rather respectful one at their 2011 E3 conference. Let’s just hope it doesn’t happen again.

The darkest year of video games was 1983, and yet it appeared to start out so good – arcades were popping up across America, Atari was king of the world, and Pac-Man was ruling the roost long before Mario and Sonic entered the fray. But then Atari got too big for its boots – game designers were denied authorial credits for their creations, many programmers abandoned the company, the company made cheap games and consoles – and then they made the six-week created game E.T. Considered the worst game ever, E.T. miserably failed and tons of cartridges of the game were buried in a landfill in New Mexico. Atari was on the rocks and it never fully recovered.

Computer gaming picked up whilst the rest of the gaming industry collapsed. The media wasn’t exactly sympathetic, the snobbish people of yesteryear proclaiming gaming was a fad and would quickly die out. The Video Game Crash of 1983 was well and truly on – and then Nintendo kicked the door in and introduced the NES. At first the NES didn’t do well with the ROB device and the Zapper, but it got on shelves and allowed Nintendo to bring video games back from the grave with a little game called Donkey Kong, and the rest is history.