Television has always had its share of out-there plots, weird characters and completely unbelievable moments. I got to thinking, what would it be like if someone my age had never gone to school, but instead had been raised by watching TV. Here are a few of the ways he might believe the world works.

The A-Team

36. I learned that it is possible to fire millions of rounds of ammo and throw several thousand grenades over the course of several years and never actually hit anybody with a bullet or wound anyone with flying shrapnel.

35. I learned that it is possible to afford said ammo and grenades without holding down a regular job and without charging half of the people who hire you for your mercenary services because they are too poor to pay you for it.

34. I learned that if you are a bad guy it is never a good idea to lock the A-Team into a garage well stocked with sheet metal and acetylene torches.

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It’s the Day After Christmas, When All Through Your House,
Those Brown Monkey Socks and That Way-Too Big Blouse,
Need to Go Back to the Store Right Away,
So No One Will See You Dressed That-A-Way!
I Mean Who in Their Right Mind Would Give Such a Thing
As a Bright-Orange Tie or a Plastic Mood Ring,
So it’s Off to the Store You Head With a Dash
Wondering Aloud Why You Didn’t Get Cash.

10. Duplicate Toys

When you have a big family like mine, it is a wonder this little mishap doesn’t happen all the time. Yes, there are lists a-plenty throughout the preceding months, however -probably similar to your family- my parents and grandparents and steps- and -in laws like to go out on limbed tangents and get whatever they so desire. This can, and has, resulted in gift duplications that only serve to lead to irritated children who, so verbally, announce, “Hey, we already got this toy the other day!” I sure hope you kept the receipt.

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I recently received this email which contains some very funny motivational posters - with a twist. While I have seen a few of them, many were new so I thought it would make a nice relaxed list for the weekend. So, here are twelve posters to motivate you in life! As usual, click for a larger view.

Poster 1

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Following yesterday’s list on Christmas shopping ideas, here is a list for that hard to buy for drinker. You know these people and you might even be one yourself: people that can throw back a few - or a lot! What do you get for these hard to buy for types? Well here are a few ideas for you.

10. The Drink and Drive game $79

Take a small remote controlled car, a few obstacle cones, a shot glass and your favorite libation, what do you get? Lot’s of fun, that’s what! The object is to fill the shot glass with booze, place it on top of the car - there is a tray there to help steady it, setup your course and drive it without spilling. If you spill - you drink, if not - your opponents drink. This new gadget from Edwin is sure to please the drinker that just loves to get behind the wheel after pounding a few back.

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Woody Allen is one of the most respected and prolific filmmaker in modern times. Allen draws heavily on literature, philosophy, psychology, Judaism, European cinema and New York City, where he was born and has lived his entire life. Some might consider his films an acquired taste, but no one can deny that he is brilliantly witty. Here is a list of 25 of his finest quotes (taken from his own life or screenwriting).

Quotes 1 - 5

1. Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

2. He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

3. As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

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