Marketers do a great job of convincing us to buy stuff (often stuff we don’t need) – but through the annals of history they have occasionally gotten things wrong. This is a list of the ten most unfortunately named products.
10. Wii
This has to be included – perhaps the people that devised the name are not familiar with the fact that British English speakers (including most of the Commonwealth) refer to urine as “wee” – for example: “Ooh – I am busting for a wee!” Every time someone mentions a Wii I think of a wee. Crazy! “Let’s play with our wii” really takes on a whole new meaning when you speak British English.
9. Elephant Beautiful Balls
As The Leader in Innovative Billiards, Elephant Balls, Ltd. (EBL) offers a full range of billiard merchandise for the enthusiast at every level. From high quality pool tables and furniture to the most unique ball sets and effective training tools in the world, we have the perfect gift for even the person who has everything. [Of course - who the hell has Elephant balls?! Oh - well, except that Internet Meme squirrel that was passed around a while back.]
8. Gray Poupon
Grey Poupon is a Dijon mustard now made by Kraft Foods. It is currently the best-selling Dijon-style mustard in the United States. Thanks – but no thanks! Here is the original commercial:
7. Sars
This drink, made by Golden Circle unfortunately shares its name with the SARS (Severe acute respiratory syndrome) virus. There have been two pandemics of SARS reported in recent years. The drink is sarsaparilla flavored and is sold in all New Zealand supermarkets (and maybe in other countries where Golden Circle products are found).
6. Jussipussi
An “interesting” bread product by Finnish company primula. Frankly – I am speechless.
5. Kagome
Founded in 1899 by Ichitaro Kanie, a Japanese pioneer in tomato cultivation, Kagome has grown to become the largest producer of Japanese tomato products and a major producer of other fruit and vegetable foods. Unfortunately, in Portuguese and probably Spanish this sounds like “I shit myself”.
4. I.beat Blaxx
Need an mp3 player but don’t like the Apple range of iPods? Look no further than German company Trekstor who produce the I.beat Blaxx. At the time of publishing this article, Trekstor have renamed the black edition of the I.beat to just “Blaxx” – I wonder why.
3. Vagisil
Vagisil is a full line of feminine hygiene products made by Combe Incorporated. In 2007, Vagisil introduced the Vagisil Screening Kit. At least they get straight to the point I guess.
2. Anusol
Anusol is an over-the-counter medication that can be used to treat hemorrhoids (also known as piles). The Anusol range includes creams, ointments, and the popular (WTF!) suppository form of treatment. For those who may not be aware, suppositories are waxy objects you stick up your bum. Let’s hope you don’t need a price check on this one next time you are at the supermarket!
1. Ayds
Ayds (pronounced aids) was a diet candy from the 1980s. The NY Times (1982) reported that the active ingredient in AYDS was phenylpropanolamine – a substance the FDA has now ruled “not recognized as safe”. Here is a bonus – a truly cringe-worthy advert for Ayds:
Can’t get enough? Here is another.
jussipussi? OMG
must have actual audio pronounciation of that one
Like “YusyPusy”
I still to this day can not fathom the minds of Nintendo giving a consol a name like Wii. It did the job apparently.
wow… cool list!
Little anecdote somewhat related to #5: In the Latin–American dubbed version of the anime Inuyasha, they changed the protagonist’s name from Kagome to Aome for that same reason.
Juggz: so it isn’t just the commonwealth English speakers that see this?
Emily: thanks
It was one of the most fun to write too
Angie: haha that is hilarious – I was a bit unsure about that one but now you have confirmed it to be true.
Ha, I knew AYDS would be #1!
Kagome doesn’t sound like ‘I ***** myself’ in Spanish; it has some of the same letters, but not in the right order. It should be, ‘Me cague’.
Hehehe…Thank goodness for Ayds….hahahaha…
greate list…that was too funny…Ayds
I’m Dutch, and I can tell you ‘pledge’ does not translate to ‘*****’. The Dutch word for ‘*****’ is ‘plas’ (or just ‘pis’ when being crude). Even at a stretch, the two words don’t sound alike. Hope that helps.
Awesome list, by the way.
Marrit: thanks – what does pledge (the pronunciation) mean in Dutch?
dazednconfused: doesn’t me follow the verb in certain cases, because I know I’ve heard “Digame” before. Probably in Scarface.
I have replaced pledge with JussiPussi.
Jussi is a man's name and pussi means bag. That's really funny -.-
The world has other languages too than English.
Oh – Happy Amsterdam day Dutch people
(see Today in History – right hand side of the site)
Jamie: No as far as I know most Americans see it in a similiar light. I still remember the day the name was announced. I spedn all day trying to decide if it was a joke or if they were serious.
hilarious list. I tried a canned bevarage in dubai airport called “Pocari Sweat”. That could be elligible for this list
This is a similar list, yet even funnier. you must have a look.
http://moronland.net/moronia/moron/1064/
Hahahaha! JussiPussi. Too funny. Good list, very much enjoyed it. I think I’ve seen the Ayds commercial before.
Samsung: I saw Pocari Sweat in South Korea – it seemed to be quite big there – I had forgotten until you mentioned it – great addition for sure!
lola: I think this one is funnier
But only because I am cool and I wrote this one 
Thanks for the link though – it is a great list.
Cyn: alas I think jussipussi is pronounced just like you are hoping it isn’t
THANK YOU!!!
I remembered Ayds from a long time ago, but whenever I’ve asked friends if they remembered, they just looked at me funny. I swore it was real, but nobody believed me! I began thinking it might have been a dream or an incomplete memory of something else like Diet Aids or something. Now I know I’m right and they’re wrong, just like always! AWESOME!
BTW- I just went to the website and ordered an Elephant Balls cap. That’s just too classic to pass up!
I don’t think #3 and #2 are “unfortunate” names at all. These products were given these names by design specifically to conjure in consumers minds the association with their intended use. These names were no accident.
#9-Elephant Balls is also a name of a product so given as to stand out in a consumer’s mind.
This is just good marketing.
jfrater: pledge doesn’t sound like any Dutch word at all, it probably would be considered an onomatopoeia.
My mother always questioned the wisdom of naming the curiously strong mints “altoids”. She says it sounds like something you go to the proctologist for.
Another great list!
How about the Chevy NOVA (no go)
Anusol is now called “Tucks” in the US. In fact it’s been Tucks for a loooong time, but recently I saw a box at the store that said “Tucks, previously Anusol”, and I about peed myself laughing!
Jussipussi is the worst though!
christopher borne: “me” sometimes follows a verb in Spanish but it never goes before the verb. So dazednconfused is right, it would have to be “me cago” or “me cague”.
Also, you know those Mitsubishi 4WDs “Pajero”? They’re called Montero in Spanish-speaking countries because pajero means *****er in Spanish xD
I saw the “ayds” ad on webjunk20 back when patrice o’neal was the host and i could not stop laughing!
Jussipussi was definitely the worst lol.
Not a product, but there’s a private chain of burger joints in the Seattle area called “Dick’s” leading many teenagers to giggle while coyly declaring “I love Dick’s…burgers!”
aplspud: Perhaps you’re familiar with Dick’s sporting goods as well? That one always makes me quietly but immaturely amused.
Not quite in the league of the items in this list but I remember being shocked to find there is a fast food chain in the UK called “wimpy burger” – what were the marketing people thinking
ImplosiveFire: I’m a native speaker from México and I can tell you that Kagome can be (mis)read as “Cágome”* which is another way of saying “me cago”, still first person, present tense though this time with the clitic pronoun “me” attached at the end. It does happen. Maybe that one it’s not as common (to me, it’s more like an old-fashioned way of phrasing), but there are many other examples:
Deséame suerte -> “Wish me luck”
Tómame -> “Take me”
Cómeme -> “Eat me”
Bébeme -> “Drink me”
Súbeme -> “Pull me up”
* more often than not on purpose, I’d say.
Yarr: #19: glad to be of service
Bryon: #20 – that is my point though – I don’t WANT those images to be conjured up in my mind every time I go to a store that sells those products!
Thanks for the additions guys – it is funny how car companies seem to get it wrong so often when it comes to international names.
Angie: Thanks for the confirmation on the language issue – very helpful
omfg, look at the other names from tekstors mp3 players http://trekstor.de/de/products/mp3.php
i.beat emo
i.beat pink
i.beat dieter bohlen (the german Simon Cowell)
mowi: hahah – they need to fire their marketing department
For some reason, I suddenly crave bread.
Samsung, I’m sure they were thinking of the old Popeye cartoons that had a character named Wimpy who loved hamburgers. He would say, ” I’ll glady pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
Angie: I’m a native speaker too, I’m from Argentina and although your point is quite valid, I’ve never heard of the “me” being put after “cago” because when you say cago you are referring to yourself, and by adding the “me” is like your asking some other person to do it for you: “hey, could you *****ting myself me?”. See, the verb is in the wrong tense. It would have to be “cagame”.
Never Heard Of iBeat Blaxx Before I Need To Venture Outside More
ImplosiveFire: Yes, of course the “me” after the verb is no longer used, as Angie said, it would sound like a 16th century sentence
, but anyway I also understood “cágome” before reading the explanation, it’s the first thing that comes to your mind (and, speaking of a tomato juice, it’s quite an unfortunate name, hehe)
And yes, the “Pajero” thing is true, it’s sold here as “Montero” XD
“Cool-*****” is a carbonated yoghurt drink thats been in korea for decades. Ask your Korean friends- they don’t understand the absurdity.
Hey jason
are you maybe referring to calpus pronounced “cow*****” a carbonated energy drink found in japan.
Cool list
As an American English speaker, Wii didn’t give me any pause whatsoever. In fact, I think it’s cute: Wii would like to play; the letters “I” look like little people. I like it. Now, if it were called Wii Wii…
Also, jfrater, you seem a little fixated on the 80s. I was going to mention it when I read the 80s TV show list, which includes many shows that utterly represent my 70s childhood, regardless of any 80s spillover (One Day at a Time, Eight is Enough, and CHiPs to name a few.) Now I must speak up – my grandmother let me eat her Ayds as an afterschool snack in the mid-seventies.
Amanda #22 – I’ve always thought the same thing. “Ooh, my altoids burst!”
Thanks for another fun list.
B.S.: you think so? I haven’t noticed the bias myself though I did grow up in the 80s – perhaps it is showing – certainly not intentional though. I can’t believe your grandmother let you eat her diet candy!!! That is hilarious.
jfrater, when she was dieting, the cookie cupboard could be a real wasteland, and if I whined enough for a snack, that’s what I got. They were tasty enough, I suppose – like mediocre fudge.
You know, since I brought it up, I think I may have a 70s fixation.
B.S.: hehe – feel free to write a 70s list
nintendo should call the wii’s replacement “number twos” to continue the theme
joshua: heh thought it but didn’t want to say it
It took a while for me to understand what was funny about Jussipussi. Being Finnish myself I didn’t get the joke at first. Jussipussi is pronounced exactly as it is written. The letter “j” is pronounced the same way as the “y” in “Boris Yeltsin” (for the lack of a better example). And the letters “s” are prounounced as two different letters instead of one. As in “dissolved”. Thus the word “Jussi” will sound more like “you see” instead of “juicy”..
Jussi is considered an old finnish peasant or a farmer’s name. Basically someone who would farm and make bred.
Pussi means bag or a pouch. So in Finnish it’s a farmers bag of bread.
Nice pages though.
that would be worse then…
"you see…" you get the point…
Bear: thanks for the translation
I figured it must be something like that.
I don’t know about spanish, but I speak portuguese and I can tell you for sure that Kagome is read just like ‘cago-me’, an expression in portuguese that means, just like you said, ‘I ***** myself’, so you were right..
funny list
Bawls should’ve been on the list. Can result in an awkward situation if you’re saying it pertaining ownership.
“Can you grab my Bawls?”
God I love number 1!!! I can’t stop laughing. That ad is the funniest thing. ‘Thank goodness for Ayds’ LOL!
In Swedish, pitt means “dick”, which makes Brad Pitt funny, for a change. And who can forget the king of stupid names, ie, the planet Uranus.
Not brand names, but funny nontheless.
Fanny = brand of strawberry jam in Peru
*****= brand of Thai fish sauce sold in France
AndyB123: haha – Brad Dick – excellent.
Joseph2: Great additions – thanks
Anyone remember a liquid cheese sauce from the ’80s/90′s called “Squeeze Cheese”? Yeah. Food named after a fart. Also related there was a commercial for a fast food Mexican resteraunt chain (Taco Mayo, I believe) that had a line in the jingle “Monday, do the taco two-step…” which I had always heard as a euphamism for the runs.
There was another cheese flavored product (I say cheese flavored because I doubt it was ever near any real cheese) in an aerosol can in the 1960's called "Cheese Whiz" meaning cheese ***** in U.S. vernacular. I remember giggling about that name as a child. I have also heard Australians visiting the U.S. laugh when they saw a brand of flavored bottled water marketed here in the U.S. as "Koala Water", which to them meant koala *****.
Me and my friend both made HEAPS of wee jokes when she got her Wii.
“Can I come play with you Wii?”
“Certainly. you have to hold my Wii properly though.”
“I won’t drop your Wii.”
xD
The first time I came across a packet of Bimbo bread, I bought it, ate it and saved the wrapper for *months!*
Anya: I had a friend whose car license plate said “Bimbo” – it was worth more than the car!
We also have a drink by Golden Circle in NZ that is called “sarsaparilla”… I don’t know if there is any difference in taste (not really interested in drinking SARS) but, I wonder, if they already have the sarsaparilla, what is the SARS drink supposed to be flavoured now?