So, you are shopping for the man/woman who has everything and have no idea what to buy? Here are ten unique and unusual products that can be bought on Amazon.com:
10. Wolf Urine
100% pure wolf pee. Use this pee to deter unwanted creatures from your home. Its effectiveness is vouched for by one Amazon reviewer who said:
My Uncle Jared had been under the weather since his wife passed away. He was also in a lot of debt and doing drugs. So one day he bought this Wolf Lure, apparently covered his body in it, and went into the forest. We held his funeral last Thursday, but there was no body to place in a casket so we just remembered him the way he was, and placed flowers by the forest where his mauled clothing and remnants of teeth and flesh lay in eternal slumber. The local news ran a report of him, and we all wish him well with his wife.
Please note: this product can not be shipped to California due to state regulations on the importing of animal pee.
9. Stop Eating Poop!
From the product review: “Stop Eating Poop contains Glutamic Acid to deter dogs from eating their own stool. Yucca helps control stool and urine odor. Peppermint and parsley help to eliminate bad breath.” The peppermint and parsley are clearly essential for the dog who enjoys an occasional meal of poo. This product is not fit for human consumption.
8. Gay Attraction Body Mist
According to the product review, “Man To Man was created after years of study to naturally help Gays Attract other Gays.” I thought tighty whiteys and cosmos were already doing that!
7. Dr. John’s Famous Pee Pee
Are you about to take a drug test at work and you know you are going to fail? Dr. John to the rescue! This synthetic pee tests within normal ranges in standard urine tests. Avoid workplace discrimination by carrying a bottle of Dr. John’s Pee with you at all times!
6. Tank
For only $19,995 you can own your very own battle tank. This tank carries a crew of up to five internally and one externally. Includes head/tail lights and a 400 watt premium PA system. If you are unsure whether this tank is the one for you, check out this excerpt from one of the reviews on amazon:
I’ll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I’ve purchased overpriced, so-called “battle tanks”, then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made mortar. But not this baby, no way.
It looks like a great deal to me!
5. Liquid Ass Fart Spray
I am speechless on this one. Here is an excerpt from their product description: “Liquid ASS is an overwhelming, stinky, funny prank product. Once unleashed, this powerpacked, superconcentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul buttcrack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”
4. UFO Detector
Over the years many UFO sightings have reported magnetic and electromagnetic disturbances. The UFO Detector is designed to sense these disturbances and will signal their presence by flashing an LED and beeping. Now you can be the first to arrive on the scene of alien landings or crashes!
3. Roswell Soil Sample
For those of you who have no luck with your UFO Detectors, you can still experience part of the UFO/Alien phenomenon by buying soil from Roswell – the crash site of an alien spacecraft some years ago. Who knows, if you add water you may be able to grow your own Xenu!
2. Deer’s Butt
This is a genuine whitetail deer rear. Perfect for the lover of taxidermy or bottoms. Use this in combination with item 5 on the list for many evenings of entertainment!
1. Uranium
Yes – it is true – you can actually buy a can of real uranium! According to Amazon, the uranium sample is for “educational and scientific use only” so please don’t buy this product if you have any other plans in mind. The List Universe can not guarantee that you will not end up on an FBI watchlist if you buy this product.
my 1st first?
anyway i sold #10 at the garden center i worked at. it stank and didnt work
The Liquid Ass stuff would be a great office prank!
No. Seriously. It wouldn't. I got sprayed in the eyes and mouth, and all over my clothes. I threw up, had an allergic reaction, my eyes swelled up to the size of golf-balls, and I had to throw away the clothes because after 20 washes, the smell stayed there. I had to take pills for a week to remove the swelling. And is it still funny?
It's not too funny to spray it on people, however it would be funny to spray it in a room with people in it.
It's all about how you use it that will determine if it's funny or just plain idiotic (it also depends on what you define as 'funny.')
It’s definitely still funny! LMAO!!!
Is it just me or are most of these to do with some sort of *****/*****…
The user review for number 6 is great! haha
One of my friends had something like #5, and took it into school once. It stank to high heaven. I had to throw away a fleece he sprayed it onto because the smell wouldnt come out.
I genuinely have no idea why anyone would want #2…
I would think they would either 1.) be obsessed with behinds or 2.) have a *****ual interest in deer anatomy.
Or, as the article mentioned, they want to use it as some sort of prank involving liquid ass.
WOW i can really buy uranium and a tank on amazon
i think have an idea
Uranium + tank x Scientologists = Loads of fun
(when was that march again)
me: alas, if you read the description you’ll notice the tank is, in fact, sans gun. Would be a pity though. I reckon taking a tank to one of those demonstrations would be great!
AHHH well tis only an idea
okay..tighty whiteys i know but WTF are cosmos?
Cyn: I would assume that Cosmos = Cosmopolitan martinis
awesome list, ha ha
dangorironhide; i can imagine someone mounting a wolfs/bears head on the opposite wall from the deer ass….red-neck utopia, along with the bottle of wolf *****, pretty sure you wouldn’t need the extra ass crack smell though
VonGoetz – thanx. had to Google it.
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink3002.html
sounds tasty! and yeah, after a few of those who’d need a spray…gay or straight.
Cyn- Cosmopolitan (vodka, vermouth, splash of Cranberry)
You can buy uranium??? I’m so desensitized that the pee and poo don;t even register anymore
All of these seems like a funny gimmick present, however I could really use the stop eating poop thing for my dog. His breath stinks from eating his own business. I wonder if they have it in wolf urine flavor.
I love that tank! It looks like a miniature version of one of Jabba’s sail barges!
cyn: it was a reference to Babylon in Queer as Folk
Regarding the deer bum … I once was in a house in east Texas where I noticed the ass end of a racoon mounted on a wall. WTF, I thought to myself. Then I realized we weren’t that far from Louisiana and Cajun country, where cajuns are sometimes referred to as “coon asses.” LOL, I thought to myself, or would have, anyway, had the internet been around at the time.
As for Stop Eating Poop, think it would keep a dog from raiding the cat box?
ah! unfortunately Queer as Folks is not on basic cable…so i’ve not seen it.
only 330 shopping days til Xmas!!
DEER BUTT!!!! TAXIDERMY OF BOTTOMS!!!
People are so weird. But I love it. Also…I don’t see how people are able to buy radioactive material from Amazon.
fjrater: i’m assuming you are not really Jamie Frater so don’t use that name especially when you make comments like that it’s rude
No Puny Nerd: There is an email circulating around right now that has pictures related to “you might be a redneck if”.
In the email it shows a person’s house that has a deer’s ass mounted on the outside with the doorbell right where the deer’s smelly brown eye is.
Pretty classy stuff.
Oh yeah cosmos are my alltime favorite cocktail by the way. I’d like to say I’m an expert in making them…
Jackie: that wasn’t me – he has been doing it constantly despite my asking him not to. I deleted the comment.
jfrater: oh ok someone just being an @$$hole I guess….just wanted to stick up for you
In high school I once looked up detailed plans to construct a nuclear device for a science project. It was surprisingly easy to find them. With #1 it makes me wonder how there are not more terrorists with nuclear technology.
Mystern: I think you need to process the uranium before it has use in nuclear weapons or reactors.
Jfrater: I believe you are correct but I’m sure that process can also be found somewhere online. I would post links but I fear that the Department of Homeland Security might pick me up for a little chat.
socialbutterfly: more proof that “redneck” and “classy” are mutually exclusive terms.
mystern: Somehow I imagine anyone who orders uranium from Amazon can expect a customer service visit from Homeland Security.
Mystern:
The process for processing uranium into weapons grade material may very well be spelled out somewhere online–I’ve certainly seen it in textbooks—but let’s be clear on this–the process as described will be a very general overview of the science, and not as likely to go into great detail–because you aren’t gonna manage it in your garage or basement.
Processing uranium thusly requires, in essence, a reactor—or what used to be called an atomic pile. It can’t be done by a group of guys in a trailer.
Building a bomb is the easy part—getting the fissionable material is hard. For a terrorist, stealing the stuff would be much easier than making it from scratch. The bomb, then, would be a simple matter to construct (relatively speaking).
Moreover–one needs a particular *isotope* of uranium in order to process it into fissionable material.
I was going to do a “how to make a bomb” list at some point – maybe I should do a nuclear bomb one too!
Alright, I think it could be done and here are a couple links to support my theory.
1. Isotope Separation to purify the uranium. In theory it would be possible to use the electromagnetic method in a low tech lab.
2. Nuclear weapon design. The easiest method for a backyard experiment would be the gun assembly method.
Thus I do indeed think it would be possible to create a very small nuclear device in a homegrown lab.
jfrater:
Ahhhh…. no Green Card for you, then, Jamie.
I’m pretty sure the comment on #8 is referring to the Cosmo magazine, not the drink. But cosmo martinis are not especially masculine either.
Siderius: I wrote the list – the comment refers to the cosmopolitan cocktail
Randall: oh – I forgot about that – maybe I should hold off on those lists
Mystern:
You miss one salient point. Isotope Separation has to get you a good-sized lump of the stuff in order for the bomb to work. You have to have enough for critical mass, in other words. This takes time, and a LOT of material and space.
Trying it in a low-tech lab, on a small scale? Good luck with that. I think even if it could be done, it would take centuries. The FBI would catch up with you long before, I imagine—or your home country’s equivalent police force.
Mystern:
The bomb however, yes…. the bomb itself is frighteningly simple to assemble.
mystern; also the uranium must be enriched,,i do believe that they use heavy water (deuterium?), not so easy to get, i think there are only one or 2 sources,,1 here in canada…
The term “hick” just went to a whole other level in my book!
Randall and Mom424:
In electromagnetic isotope separation a device called a caultron is used. I’m no nuclear physicist but from what I can tell you don’t need really anything special. Caultrons are not used widely anymore but with more modern electromagnetic technology I wonder if you couldn’t make a smaller one? By no means am I suggesting that it would be easy, only that it would be possible. All in all you only need 1 kg of the stuff to make a weapon. I would imagine it could be done in under a year.
wow – we have passed the 27,000 comments mark!
The tank looks like a skiff from Star Wars!!! I’d quite like some uranium too!
Building an atomic weapon is one of those things that the more you know about it, the more difficult it becomes. Those speculating here that you can get plans on the Internet, buy Amazon Uranium and conjigger yourself an A Bomb in your spare time are delusional. Do you think London, Tel Aviv, New York or D.C. would be here today if it were that easy? Say what you want Islamicists, they’re not stupid, nor are they unmotivated. If there was the slightest, like one in thirty trillion, possibility something like this could be pulled off it would have happened already.
Great list BTW, I expected just a list of Celine Dion CDs.
el duderino: that would be top 10 disgusting things you can buy on Amazon
lol @ jfrater
What a great list. I like how you included the link so we can read more about the product plus the reviews are great.
Someone sent me a some reviews on Amazon for a Bic Pen. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bic-Crystal-ballpoint-medium-point/dp/B000JTOYLS The first guys review is very funny and then over 140 people got into the act and reviewed it also. I couldn’t resist and submitted a review too.
I guess I have no life.
jfrater make zombie movie list
jesse: there is a zombie survival list but not a zombie movies list. I will definitely consider it
Mystern:
No, I repeat–you need enough for critical mass. I don’t know what this equals offhand–if you want to say it’s a kilo of enriched uranium, okay–but think about it–you are enriching the uranium in VERY small increments, atoms upon atoms. Remember, this isn’t a chemical process. It’s a lot touchier and takes a lot longer.
When the US built the first atomic bombs at the end of WWII, it took years (at first) to enrich enough uranium and produce enough plutonium for 4 bombs (Trinity, Little Boy, Fatman, and the final bomb which was being prepared to drop on Tokyo, had the Japanese not surrendered after Nagasaki) …this with all the might, money, and resources of the US at the time behind the project–plants scattered around the country, thousands of people working on it–and they were just able to scrape together four bombs by Summer, 1945, even though they’d started the project in, I believe, 1940. Now, no, it didn’t take long to enrich more material to come up with a slowly-growing stockpile of bombs… were were able, I believe, to detonate test bombs by the Spring of 1946–but again, that was with this HUGE operation, nationwide, behind it–with billions of dollars backing it all up. Bottom line is, it took years on that grand scale. At home, in a low-tech, ultra-small scale setting? It would take damn near forever. The laws of physics don’t change in this regard–you can only enrich uranium one way.
Let’s be thankful this isn’t that do-able. If some crank group wants a bomb—they have to steal the stuff to detonate it.
if we are requesting lists i would love to see a looka-like lists with game characters
=)
link = orlando bloom (as Legolas)
If i ever get enough money, i’ll buy some of those tanks and take Honduras for all it’s worth.
Randall:
I do know that critical mass is more than 1 kg. Off the top of my head it’s somewhere around 52 kg. However, it is possible to create a nuclear weapon without achieving critical mass. I’m not talking about building a Fat Boy. Just something small. When the first caultron became operational it began producing about 4 grams of U235 per day. This is how I came up with the 1 year figure.
In regards to the development of nuclear weapons you must remember that the majority of the time was spent researching new methods for isotope separation. Also, research into the subject started in 1942. Yes it took them a long time, but nothing like this had ever been done before. You must also remember that a great deal of time was used in developing plutonium devices as well because plutonium is far easier to use as a catalyst.
Uranium ! I would use that to bomb those USA pussies together with smelly Croatians and stinky Albanians
@ jfrater: maybe you should have a competition so that the person who makes the 30,000 comment gets a prize or an email address at listverse. Something like that.
We got to 27,000 from 20,000 pretty fast so it would go pretty fast.
I’ve probably spent a good hour reading the reviews for the uranium and tank products… hysterical!!!
No actually bomb assembly is easy not manufacture. U need a full scale plant to enrich the uranium. The purity should be very very high..not something you find at Amazon. Other than that You need D2O, Boron control rods,etc…and a couple of billion dollars to burn….dats why there are no nuclear terrorists. And those who are nuclear-equipped are mostly ‘broken arrows’ …meaning stolen nukes from plants and smuggled from other countries.
Did you know most of these ‘stolen’ or ‘smuggled’ nukes came from the US?! Bush not doing his job is he!?!
Harsha:
You are incorrect. It is possible to produce a nuclear weapon from non weapons grade material. It just takes far more of it. Say you have some uranium that is only 15% pure it would take about 600 kg to create critical mass.
Mystern:
Good point about the researching done during WWII, but nevertheless you’re missing the big picture.
Here, here’s another example–we know that up until 2002, Iran was working on enriching uranium. This required the construction of a fairly massive reactor, and still it was going to take them years to accumulate enough of the stuff to build a viable weapon. That’s an entire country, with all its resources… and it was taking years.
Which is in fact how the CIA and State Department measure these matters—nations are deemed capable of constructing a nuclear weapon in increments of 1-2, 5, 10, 15, 20 years, etc. Naturally the lower numbers are for those nations already (apparently) working on developing these weapons–but at the 5+ year level, what the scale is judging is how long it would take said nation to enrich enough uranium and/or make enough plutonium to build a bomb. In other words, it isn’t something that can just be cobbed together overnight, or in a couple years or so, should nation X decide *tomorrow* that they want to build an atomic bomb. Enriching uranium takes time.
Now… if this is true of entire nations–imagine the time constraints on individuals trying to accomplish this for their own nefarious ends. No reactor, small resources, little money—even if it COULD be done, the time scale we’re talking about would be colossal.
And if this were not the case, then nations could easily flip a switch and have atomic bombs overnight, by your logic. But clearly this is not the way it is—nations take time to build these weapons from scratch.
This may be my favorite list yet. #6 is awesome.
I have heard of being able to buy deer urine a lot actually. Of course deer hunting is big here in Michigan!!
Valid points. Very well I will concede that it is beyond the means of backyard production to create high quality weapons, but as I pointed out to Harsha, even if you have low grade uranium it is still possible, even plausible to create a nuclear weapon. Especially considering the technology that has come up since 1945. Just as an example, if you have a neutron reflector the amount of material to achieve critical mass drops considerably.