10 Weirdest Pieces of Merchandise You Won’t Believe Exist

When you own a great piece of merch, it can make you feel so connected to your favorite band or fandom. It’s something tangible you can show off that says, “Yeah, I’m a real fan.”

But some products are pretty out there. A lot of these come from the musical fringe, but there are a few from more popular brands that might make you question everything you know. (Just wait until you see what came from the Harry Potter collection).

From oddities that defy explanation to downright quirky creations, we’ve scoured the depths of consumer culture to bring you the top ten weirdest pieces of merchandise ever conceived.

Related: 10 Popular Songs Given The Rock Treatment

10 Weezer’s Fake Mustache Set

Weezer is one band that always surprises us with their quirky antics, both musically and now with their merch. In 2021, the alt-rock legends dropped their album OK Human. Alongside the tunes, they graced the world with something truly bizarre. Weezer, in all their mustachioed glory, introduced a Fake Mustache Set as part of their merchandise lineup.

Because nothing says rock ‘n’ roll like a fake ‘stache.

Who in their right mind would buy such a thing? Well, apparently, quite a few fans did. Maybe they wanted to channel their inner Rivers Cuomo, the band’s lead singer. Or maybe they just wanted to add a dash of whimsy to their lives? Who knows. But that’s Weezer for you.

9 The Kiss Kasket

Some people really mean it when they say they would die to see their favorite band. And if that’s you, and you happen to be a KISS fan, you can get yourself a KISS Kasket. Unveiled in 2001, this isn’t your ordinary final resting place. It’s the ultimate ticket to the great beyond with a front-row seat to eternity. Get your very own coffin adorned with the iconic faces of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, and the rest of the legendary KISS rock band.

According to the ever-entertaining Gene Simmons, the KISS Kasket has some cool features. It provides a fitting send-off for die-hard KISS fans, allowing them to rock and roll all night, even in the afterlife. It also moonlights as a beverage cooler. Simmons himself said, “It serves two purposes. You can have your last ride with your favorite band. But while you’re living, you can have a cold one.”

So, whether you’re planning for the ultimate rock ‘n’ roll eternity or just want a cool conversation piece for your next party, the KISS Kasket is here to make your life (and afterlife) a little more extraordinary.

8 Spartan Leather Briefs from the Film 300

Have you ever wanted your underwear to match your favorite Gerard Butler movie? They actually have Spartan Leather Briefs inspired by the epic movie 300. Leather briefs inspired by ancient Spartan warriors. Who even comes up with this stuff?

You know you want a pair of leather briefs that would make King Leonidas himself do a double-take. These undies aren’t just any undergarments; they’re a bold statement, a fashion choice that screams, “I’m here to conquer the day… or maybe just the gym.”

These briefs might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but fashion is all about self-expression. So, if strutting your stuff in Spartan-inspired leather is your thing, who are we to judge? Just remember, when life throws you a challenge, sometimes all you need is a nice leather thong to face it head-on.

7 DeadMau5’s Cat Headphones

If you’ve ever wondered if your cat secretly dreams of being a DJ, DeadMau5’s Cat Headphones might just confirm your suspicions. We’re talking about a set of headphones specially designed for cats, complete with “dog isolating technology” (because who wants barking to interrupt their jam session?) and i4 Sound Engines promising your kitty deep bass and crystal-clear highs.

For a cool $1,000, your cat can join the ranks of the most discerning audiophiles. But don’t worry; they’re for a good cause. All proceeds from these purr-fectly ridiculous headphones go straight to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). So, not only does your furball look cooler than a cucumber rocking some high-tech gear, but you’re also supporting a noble cause. It’s a win-win!

Now, we can’t promise your cat will start dropping sick beats or critiquing the latest Billboard hits, but hey, stranger things have happened in the world of pet merchandise. And let’s be real, seeing your cat strut around with DeadMau5’s signature beats perched on their head would be worth every penny.

6 Stalker Gloves from Cannibal Corpse

If you’re going to be a stalker, you need the right equipment, right? In the world of bizarre band merchandise, Cannibal Corpse takes the cake with their Stalker Gloves. Because nothing says death metal quite like a pair of inconspicuous, plain black fitted gloves.

Cannibal Corpse concerts are on their own level, surrounded by guitar riffs and guttural screams. What better way to commemorate the experience than by snagging a pair of Stalker Gloves? These unassuming accessories may not make you look like a rockstar, but they’ll undoubtedly raise some eyebrows at your next family gathering.

Sold by the masters of brutal death metal themselves, Cannibal Corpse didn’t hold back on this quirky merch idea. While seemingly ordinary, the gloves carry an air of dark mystery—perfect for the fan who wants to keep it low-key while secretly harboring a taste for following people around.

5 Ozzy’s BBQ Branding Iron

One minute, you’re flipping burgers on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and the next, you’re branding your own meat… literally. Believe it or not, you can actually buy your own Ozzy Osbourne BBQ Branding Iron. The Prince of Darkness himself has lent his iconic branding (pun intended) to a set that’ll make your steaks scream, “Rock on!”

After all, a BBQ isn’t the same without the pièce de résistance: a branding iron. Nothing says heavy metal BBQ like searing “Ozzy Rules” onto your Porterhouse or New York strip.

The sheer audacity of it all makes this merchandise truly bizarre and undeniably cool. Sure, you might be thinking, “Who in their right mind would want an Ozzy Osbourne branding iron?” But let’s be real here—once you fire up that grill and start wielding the power of Ozzy’s logo, you can’t help but feel like a rockstar in your backyard. Just remember, “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

4 The Harry Potter Vibrating Nimbus 2000

In the curious universe of Harry Potter merchandise, broomsticks don’t just fly—they vibrate. Apparently, someone at Mattel thought to themselves, “Imagine if Harry had hopped onto his Nimbus 2000 for a Quidditch match and found himself on a different thrill ride.” It’s further proof that you shouldn’t share every thought that pops into your head.

But surprisingly, no one vetoed it! In 2001, Mattel decided to give the magical community a jolt with the Harry Potter Vibrating Nimbus 2000. It’s a broomstick replica that, when mounted, vibrates with “flying” motions. Doesn’t it sound more like something you’d find in Zonko’s Joke Shop?

Alas, like a spell that wore off too soon, the Vibrating Nimbus 2000 was swiftly discontinued. But fear not, for it lives on in the annals of bizarre merchandise history, with a few still being sold on eBay. So, while you won’t find it on shelves anymore, its memory lingers like a faint hum in the corridors of Hogwarts.

3 Tenacious D’s C*mrag

Tenacious D, the legendary rock duo known for their raucous tunes, wild antics, and… uh, questionable merchandise? Yep, among the plethora of weird stuff out there, Tenacious D’s C*mrag definitely earns a spot on the “What were they thinking?” list.

Imagine a table at one of their concerts. Amid the T-shirts, albums, and other typical merch, there it is: the C*mrag, proudly displayed like some kind of twisted trophy. Sized like a golf towel (because, apparently, size matters even when it comes to novelty items), the C*mrag is adorned with the band’s logo, making it a collector’s item for the brave and bold.

You have to wonder what the thought process was behind this gem. Did the band get together one day and think, “A c*mrag! That’s what our fans have been waiting for”? But if there’s a market for it, why not. After all, Tenacious D has always danced to the beat of their own drum, even if that beat occasionally leads them down some questionable paths.

We can hear Jack Black saying, “Now go, my son, and ROCK!”

2 A Star Wars C-3PO Tape Dispenser

The galaxy far, far away just got a little closer to your desk. They actually have a Star Wars C-3PO Tape Dispenser. When you’re out of tape on a Monday afternoon, C-3PO comes to your rescue, or at least his lower half does.

This vintage gem of merchandise features everyone’s favorite golden protocol droid straddling a roll of tape. Need a piece? Well, you’ve got to pull it out from in between his legs. We might need to categorize this one under NSFW, or else you might be getting a visit from HR.

You’ve got to hand it to the folks at Lucasfilm, though. It’s weird but pretty funny (which is an accurate description for C-3PO, anyway). So, the next time you need to stick something together, why settle for a boring old tape dispenser when you can have C-3PO lending a hand… or leg? May the force (of sticky adhesion) be with you.

1 The Trembling Fetus Ornament from Flaming Lips

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a Trembling Fetus Ornament?

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve left the most messed up for last—and that’s saying something based on this list! The Flaming Lips have truly outdone themselves this time. This 3-inch (7.6-cm)spectacle leaves you both scratching your head and reaching for the nearest holiday decorations.

Crafted with an unsettling mix of whimsy and curiosity, the Trembling Fetus Ornament is both a conversation starter and an enigma. Released as part of the band’s offbeat merchandise collection, this quirky trinket showcases their knack for pushing boundaries beyond music.

But why a trembling fetus? The Flaming Lips, renowned for their over-the-top performances and eccentric album covers, have a knack for the unconventional. So, next holiday season, as you deck the halls with boughs of fetuses, remember that The Flaming Lips have once again made the weirdest Christmas tree ornament you never knew you needed.