10 Glimpses into Gay Life in History

The history of the world, as it is usually taught, is overwhelmingly straight. Some historians are so unwilling to suggest any sort of queerness took place in the past that it has become a joke. If two same-sex individuals are known to have written each other love letters, lived together, shared a bed, and been buried together, there will always be a historian who shakes their head in confusion and says, “We simply cannot know for sure.” “Just good friends” covers a multitude of sexualities.

But there are documents that can give us a peek into the world that queer people inhabited in the past. Here are ten glimpses into their lives.

Related: Top 10 Fascinating Gay Texts From History

10 Graffiti

The Roman conception of sexuality did not place people into homosexual and heterosexual identities. More often, it was the role that a person played during sex that was used to judge them. For men, it was expected that they would be active and do the penetrating of their partner—be they female, male, or slave. Women were always expected to be penetrated. For a man to be the receptive partner was the most shameful thing of all.

The most common word of abuse thrown at bottoms in ancient Rome was “cinaedus”—meaning something like shameless or degenerate, which derived from the Greek word Kinaidos used in a similar way. But there is some evidence of men taking this title and using it about themselves in a way that suggests a gay culture existed.

Two visitors left graffiti on the walls at the temple of Isis at Philae in Egypt around the year AD 5. One reads, “Strouthion the kinaidos I came with Nikolaos,” while someone called Tryphon wrote something similar in another. Since Strouthion means “sparrow,” and Tryphon means “dainty,” in all likelihood, these men were adopting camp names for themselves.^[10]

9 Longing

Love can always be painful if the object of your affection does not return your affection. Roman same-sex poetry often addresses the hurt of a man who has been spurned by a younger lover, and love might turn to hate. Sometimes, though, there can be hints of tenderness in these poems.

A poem by Tibullus starts with the poet addressing a statue of the phallic god Priapus and asking, “What skill of yours captivates lovely lads?” The god offers a word of caution: “Oh beware of trusting the crowd of tender boys: since they always offer a true cause for love,” but agrees to help. The rest of the poem deals with the god’s advice about winning the affection of a beautiful youth.

The key to winning the love of a young man was to not be overly jealous and slowly earn their love. Love is admitting that you will become the slave of the beloved and giving yourself willingly. “You’ll yield to your boy in whatever he wants to try: love always wins the most by deference.”^[2]

8 Phoebus’s Dinner

“All the cinaedi [passive gays] invite you to dinner, Phoebus.
A man whose d*ck feeds him is not, I think, a pure man.” –Martial, Epigrams, Book IX, No. 63

The 1st-century AD Roman poet Martial—full name Marcus Valerius Martialis—is known for his scurrilous and scathing epigrams, and in this one, he makes fun of his friend Phoebus. Some scholars have read this as a typical Roman attack on effeminate men, but more recent readers have found something more empowering in this short text.

Phoebus is being summoned by men who want to be penetrated by another man, and they reward Phoebus by offering him a meal. These are men who know what they want, and it is Phoebus who is being used despite the traditional Roman consensus that those who are passive in sex are the ones who are used.^[3]

7 Lucky Gays

The people of ancient Mesopotamia put a great deal of stock in omens that might reveal the truth. These could be found in signs as grand as eclipses or as small as cattle lying down. In a collection of over ten thousand omens written down on a set of cuneiform tablets known as the šumma ālu, a number of them deal with homosexual acts.

Several of the gay omens hint at dark things for certain types of gay sex. Having sex with a male house slave portends a bad destiny, and sleeping with a royal official will lead to a whole year of worry. However, some say that homosexual sex can be a good sign.

We are told, “If a man copulates with his equal from the rear, he becomes the leader among his peers and brothers.” The text also informs us that sleeping with a male prostitute who works in a temple causes all of a man’s problems to leave him.^[4]

6 Spotting Roman Gays

The Roman writer Juvenal—full name Decimus Junius Juvenalis—is one of the most bitter satirists who has ever lived. In his sixteen satires, he takes aim at all aspects of society in ancient Rome, from the poorest beggars to the antics of the wealthy elite. Homosexuals also feel the lash of Juvenal’s tongue—but he reveals a lot about gay life in the Roman Empire.

The second satire begins with Juvenal wanting to feel from civilization because morals have fallen so low, “isn’t every street packed, with sad-looking perverts?” We meet manly men who have to have their piles lanced by a doctor after too much sex, men who announce their sexual inclinations by waggling their bottoms, and one man who “drinks from a phallus-shaped glass.” Even if all this is exaggerated for comedic effect, Juvenal clearly knew of a flourishing gay culture in the city.^[5]

5 Molly Marriages

The Buggery Act of 1533 was the first civil law in England that criminalized homosexual acts. Those found guilty of deviant sexual behavior could suffer anything from death by hanging to prolonged periods in the stocks where people flung manure and rocks at them. It remained in force in the Georgian period, but gay men found a way to enjoy themselves anyway.

There were many areas where men cruised for men in London, such as Sodomites’ Walk and near army bases. Molly Houses were more private establishments where gay men congregated. Usually formed in the back rooms of pubs and coffee houses, men would meet in Molly Houses to socialize, party, and have sex.

Many Molly Houses were uncovered, so we know some of the things that happened there from trial records. There were men who dressed as women, men who “married” other men, and men who underwent mock birth rituals where men would pretend to produce wooden babies. The subculture of the Molly Houses was an outlet for homosexuals to express themselves—but a dangerous one. When Molly Houses were raided, many customers were sentenced to the pillory or the gallows. But it was fun while it lasted.^[6]

4 Japanese Depictions

Homosexuality has a long and uncontroversial history in Japan. Without the influence of Christianity, there were no moral judgments passed on men who loved men. In fact, for monks, it was thought better to sleep with a younger man than to defile themselves by sleeping with a woman. Samurai were depicted in art and literature as taking young male lovers, and a powerful lord would think nothing of taking a beloved into their bed.

A scroll from the early 18th century, painted by Miyagawa Choshun, contains ten images of men having sex with men. The active partner is an older man, as is traditional, and shows him with a pair of younger lovers. One of the young men is clearly from the samurai class as he carries a sword while the other wears the flamboyant clothes of an actor. While some of the images are sexually explicit, some also show tender moments of embrace and kissing.^[7]

3 Same-Sex Homes

Some people think the traditional household has always been based on the nuclear family of a husband, a wife, and their children. Historians, however, know that households have always been more complex than that. Records from 600 years ago in France give us a look behind the curtains of homes created by two men.

Affrèrements—brotherments—were legal agreements that could be undertaken between members of the same sex who lived together. This gave them rights and benefits normally only given to married couples. During the public declaration of affrèrement, the partners promised to share “un pain, un vin, et une bourse”—one bread, one wine, and one purse. Each of the partners became the legal heir of the other, and whoever died first left their estate to the other. When both were dead, they often shared the same tomb.

It is impossible to know whether any of the known partnerships were homosexual relationships, but it is intriguing that there were mechanisms for gay men to build a home and life together.^[8]

2 Domestic Bliss

A work of history dating from the 10th century in China records one of the happiest gay couples from the past. According to this work, Pan Zhang was a beautiful young man with a reputation as a great writer. Word of Zhang spread far and wide, and a student named Wang Zhongxian came to study under him. The text tells us that “They fell in love at first sight and were as affectionate as husband and wife, sharing the same coverlet and pillow with unbounded intimacy for one another.”

Unfortunately, we know little more about their lives together, but it seems that their relationship was widely accepted and even celebrated by the society around them. When the two died, they passed away at the same time to be always together, and everyone mourned for them. The lovers were buried in the same grave on the top of a mountain, and a tree arose over the tomb. Locals called this the “Shared Pillow Tree” in honor of Pan and Wang’s life together.^[9]

1 Gay Marriages

Gay marriages have only become legal in several countries very recently, so it can seem that the idea of same-sex weddings is equally new. Roman writers, however, record several marriages between men. The emperor Nero is said to have married two men. When marrying Pythagoras, Nero played the role of a bride, while when marrying Sporus, he was the husband.

The second satire of Juvenal describes men marrying each other, using all the ceremonies typically seen in heterosexual marriages. Juvenal is scandalized. “They’ll do it openly, want it reported as news in the daily gazette.”

The writer Martial also gives an account of a gay marriage where “The bearded Callistratus has been taken in marriage by the lusty Afer, in the same way as a virgin is usually taken in marriage by her husband.” The event was attended by well-wishers carrying torches and the “bride” wore the traditional yellow veil as the words of the ceremony were exchanged. “Even the dowry was paid.” Martial ends the poem by asking, “Isn’t that enough for you, Rome? What are you waiting for, Callistratus to give birth?”^[10]