10 Hilarious (and Totally Wrong) Misconceptions About Childbirth

Let’s be real: childbirth is a magical, mind-blowing, body-bending experience that defies logic, physics, and sometimes gravity. But despite how miraculous it is, there’s also a lot of misinformation floating around—thanks to movies, old wives’ tales, and random strangers who feel compelled to share their drama-filled birth stories while you’re trying to buy apples.

To help you navigate the beautiful chaos of birth with a little less panic and a lot more confidence (and comedy), I’ve rounded up 10 of the most common misconceptions about childbirth. Let’s bust some myths with a wink, a nudge, and a laugh.

Related: 10 Human Beings Who Appear to Defy the Laws of Physics

10 “It’s Just Like in the Movies!”

Picture it: A pregnant woman in stilettos suddenly clutches her belly, screams, and her water breaks all over the floor. Cut to a chaotic drive to the hospital and seven minutes later—voilà! The baby arrives.

Reality Check: Most real-life childbirth labor looks nothing like a Hollywood scene. Labor typically starts gradually with mild contractions that get stronger over time. It could take hours (or days!) before you even get to the part where you go to the hospital. And as for water breaking first? That only happens in about 10–15% of cases. In most births, contractions start first, and your water might not break until much later—if at all. Sometimes the doctor or midwife will do it for you!

So, if you’re expecting a cinematic, race-against-the-clock scenario, don’t worry. You’ll probably have plenty of time to brush your teeth, pack your hospital bag, and argue over whether to take the scenic or the fast route.^[1]

9 “My Water Will Break in Public, and I’ll Flood the Grocery Store”

Ah, the horror: You’re standing in line at Starbucks and suddenly there’s a tidal wave beneath you.

Reality Check: Again, only a small percentage of women experience water breaking as the first sign of labor. And even when it does happen, it’s not always a dramatic gush. Sometimes it’s just a steady trickle that feels like you’ve peed yourself (spoiler: you haven’t).

But hey, just in case, maybe stash a towel in your car and wear black leggings. You know, just in case Target becomes your unexpected birth scene.^[2]

8 “You Must Give Birth Lying on Your Back”

Blame TV and historical hospital protocol for this one. The idea that you must deliver a baby lying flat on your back is so deeply ingrained that it might as well be carved into hospital beds.

Reality Check: While lying on your back is common in hospitals (mainly because it’s easier for your care team to monitor you), it’s not necessarily the most effective or comfortable position for laboring. Upright positions—like squatting, kneeling, side-lying, or even standing—can help gravity do its job, open up your pelvis, and ease baby’s descent.

Many birthing people find relief in moving around, using a birthing ball, or laboring on hands and knees. Some even dance through contractions (yes, labor TikToks are a thing and I’m here for it). The point is: your body, your choice. Labor like you mean it!^[3]

7 “Once a C-Section, Always a C-Section”

Cue the dramatic voiceover: “She had a C-section once. And now… she’s never allowed to birth the normal way again.”

Reality Check: Not true! Many women go on to have a VBAC—that’s a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. Whether you’re a good candidate depends on factors like the type of incision you had, the reason for your previous C-section, and the policies of your provider or hospital.

VBACs can be empowering, safe, and successful. The idea that you’re forever bound to repeat a surgical birth is outdated. You’ve got options, mama!^[4]

6 “Epidurals Are Magical and Remove All Pain”

Oh, how we wish this one were true. The epidural: modern medicine’s promised land of pain relief. People describe it as the ultimate miracle drug, but let’s temper those expectations just a smidge.

Reality Check: Epidurals are incredibly effective at reducing labor pain, but they don’t always eliminate all sensations. You might still feel pressure, especially when it’s time to push. And not every epidural works perfectly the first time—sometimes it needs adjustment.

Also, an epidural can limit your mobility, which means you’ll likely be confined to bed. But if lying down with pain relief sounds like a dream, then live your truth. Just know it’s not an on/off switch for all discomfort.^[5]

5 “Everyone Screams Like They’re in a Horror Movie”

We’ve all seen the dramatics: sweating, screaming, cursing, possibly biting the nearest person.

Reality Check: Labor doesn’t always involve shouting at the top of your lungs. Some women moan, some breathe deeply, some cry softly, and others go completely silent. Some births are surprisingly calm with the right preparation (hypnobirthing, meditation, or solid support).

Bottom line: every labor sounds different. You do you—whether that means primal roaring or peaceful humming.^[6]

4 “Hospitals Are the Only Safe Place to Give Birth”

This myth has been around longer than hospital vending machines. The idea is that if you’re not in a sterile room surrounded by machines that beep, you’re taking a huge risk.

Reality Check: For low-risk pregnancies, birth centers and even home births with trained midwives can be incredibly safe. Studies show that with the proper support, out-of-hospital births have outcomes just as good as hospital ones for carefully selected cases.

That said, complications can happen anywhere, and access to emergency care is key. But don’t let fear steer your birth plan. Talk to your provider and make an informed choice.^[7]

3 “A Big Baby Means You Can’t Deliver Vaginally”

Dun dun dunnnn. The “macrosomia” monster looms: “Your baby is too big!” they say. “You’ll never get that head through your pelvis!”

Reality Check: Baby’s size is only one part of the equation. The shape of your pelvis, the baby’s position, the timing of your labor, and your ability to move and shift positions all play a big role. Plenty of women give birth to 9 or 10-pound babies vaginally with no issues.

Also, estimates of baby size via ultrasound can be notoriously off—sometimes by a pound or more. Don’t let fear-mongering derail your confidence.^[8]

2 “You Should Be Induced Right at 40 Weeks”

Your due date comes and goes. Cue the panic. People start texting you every five minutes: “Still pregnant?”

Reality Check: Your due date is just an estimate—not an expiration date. Full term ranges from 39 to 42 weeks. Many babies come “late,” and as long as you and the baby are healthy, there’s usually no reason to rush an induction.

That said, there are times when induction is medically necessary. But being a few days past your due date isn’t usually cause for alarm. Babies don’t use Google Calendar, so give them a little grace.^[9]

1 “Labor Is Fast—You’ll Have the Baby Before Dinner!”

Wouldn’t that be nice? Pop into labor and boom, baby by 6 p.m.

Reality Check: Especially for first-time parents, labor is a marathon, not a sprint. The average labor lasts between 12 and 24 hours. Some go longer. Some go shorter. Either way, bring snacks, hydrate, and prepare for the long haul.

Pro tip: Download a few shows, bring cozy socks, and don’t forget your phone charger. You might be in it for the long game.^[10]

+ Bonus: Final Thoughts from the Birthing Battlefield

Childbirth is one of the most intense, emotional, and empowering experiences you can go through. And while it can feel scary (especially with so much misinformation out there), it’s also full of unexpected strength, deep joy, and the kind of humor that only comes from handing over your dignity in a backless hospital gown.

Forget the scary stories and the outdated myths. Trust your body, build your support team, and prepare with knowledge—and a sense of humor. You’ve got this.

And hey, if your water does break in Target… At least make it to the snack aisle first.^[11]