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Here is a list for the boys. There is a saying that “you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.
1. Pay
Pay for everything. Don’t mention splitting the bill. If the lady suggests paying part of the bill do not accept the offer. If she insists, allow her to pay what she wishes (this is not just a rule for dating). You will be the best judge at the time whether your date is only insisting because she feels obliged.
2. Location
No movies on the first date. How can you get to know each other if you spend the majority of the time in silence? I would recommend taking your date out for dinner (no lunch dates on the first date either). Take her somewhere you feel comfortable and somewhere you can easily afford. You don’t want to be nervous all through the date that you might get stuck with a crippling bill. If price is a big concern for you, you can organize your own date in a public place (like a park or even at your own home) and prepare the meal yourself. If you can’t cook, takeaways are fine, but serve it on plates at the table and try to make an effort.
I would also suggest that you not go too overboard with the first date. Keep it simple and moderately priced. You can get extravagent on subsequent dates if things go well.
3. Manners
First off, if you are going to dinner, read the Rules for Fine Dining list; try to remember at least one or two. When you pick up your date, get out of the car and hold the door open for her. Do the same when you are letting her out of the car. If you are dining out for your first date, hold the chair out for your date and help her sit.
Don’t be late.
4. Respect
That means not to expect anything in return! A date is not payment for future pleasures, it is a way to get to know someone to gauge compatibility. This rule also means you should not try to get your date drunk, drugged, or compromised in any other way. At the end of the date you can offer a small kiss – offer nothing else and expecting nothing back.
5. Confidence
Be confident and take charge of the evening. This does not mean you should drag your date around by the arm; be firm with your suggestions and be confident that you will have a good date and make a good impression – remember, if you were a total loser you wouldn’t be on the date in the first place.
6. Grooming
Dress appropriately for your date, and you should probably let your date know where you are planning to take her in advance so she can also dress appropriately. If you are going to the beach for a seaside dinner, dress nicely (no jeans) but don’t overdress. Similarly, if you are going to a fancy restaurant, wear a shirt and tie. Make sure your shoes are clean and polished if necessary.
Shower. Shampoo. Shave. If you have cologne, wear a little but not too much.
7. Conversation
Do not focus on yourself during the evening – ask your date questions about herself (this works in all social situations). Listen to the replies too and don’t just look for an opening to start discussing yourself. Do not talk about your job for more than a few minutes – while our own work is a fascinating subject for us, it is seldom fascinating for someone else. Be sure to compliment your date – but don’t go overboard – you will seem desperate.
Do not ever talk about dates you have had with other people or your ex-girlfriends.
8. Timing
Don’t let your date last too long. Think of it like a good meal – you should finish your plate feeling like you want just a little more. This is the best time to finish a date. This also means that you should not plan for the date to be too far from home otherwise the travel can ruin things.
9. Gifts
It can be a very nice idea to give your date a small gift on the first date. Don’t go crazy on something expensive – just a nice little token like a single rose is fine. Keep in mind where you are going and how you plan to get there so your date does not end up being lumbered with something that she has to carry around all night. Oh – and don’t pick the rose from your dates garden – buy one.
10. Conclusion
If you enjoyed your time with your date and would like to see her again, call her and tell her so. Don’t wait too long (and definitely don’t play hard to get). Be completely honest. Having said that, if you had an awful time, you should still be honest (though not brutal). There is no point in leading someone on – it will end up badly for both of you.
September 5th, 2007 at 7:42 am
it helps to be loaded and drive a really expensive car
September 5th, 2007 at 8:02 am
evan: it helps – but you can get by on less I am sure
September 5th, 2007 at 10:07 am
i dont agree with the movie thing, it depends on the girl. my present girlfriend and i went to a movie of her choosing and then went to dinner and got beers and then back to her place to dance and talk, it was easily the second best date i was ever on, and the best first date. otherwise i agree with everything for first dates.
September 5th, 2007 at 11:19 am
1. Do not mention your vast internet pron collection.
2. Do not keep comparing her to your mother.
3. Impressions of various body parts is rarely appreciated on first dates.
4. Stay away from karioke bars.
5. Leave the ventriloquist dummy at home.
6. The same goes for the banjo.
7. Don’t show her your apendix scar (Even if the date is going really, really well)
8. If she proclaims to be Vegan, don’t say that PETA stands for People Eating Tasty Animals.
9. Don’t pick her up on your bicycle.
10. Don’t tell her that the voices in your head say she’s pretty. She will NOT see it as a compliment.
September 5th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
I’m with RobS on this one. And so is my mother.
September 5th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
First date?! Men should act like this all the time with a lady. Believe me, if you do these things once, she will expect it forever. And you better do it.
September 5th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Wait, people don’t know to do this stuff? Haha j/k, nice list. Might I also say, (someone said something similar, i’m just broadening it), no sarcasm on the first date. Teasing is fine, but later once you have a relationship going. Sarcasm and teasing on the first date can go very badly.
September 5th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
“you can organize your own date in a public place (like a park or even at your own home)”
Ive always heard that a first date shouldnt be in your home (which isnt “technicaly” a public place). Your date should also feel comfortable and having the first date in your home could make her feel like she is intruding on your personal space. Besides if the date goes badly…do you really want her to know where you live??? From experience I can tell ya…you dont.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
A first date in your own home???
Oh, I can see that working REALLY well!
“This is my apartment. Sure, it’s my parents basement, but I have my own key and I can stay up as late as I want.
What would you like for dinner? Wait… (Yells upstairs) MOM? WHAT’S FOR DINNER?”
(Muffled voice from upstairs)
“Mom says Dinty Moore with white bread. Would you like a real Cola drink?”
What woman wouldn’t want to mix her genetic material with that???
My wife didn’t even SEE my apartment until we’d been dating for almost three weeks.
Of course, it took me that long to clean the place, but still…
September 5th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
i don’t feel comfortable dating.
i guess i will have to become an artist.
September 5th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
RobS
yea, i agree with you on the own house thing.
But, say you do not live with your parents, or, you’re like me, and live in a dorm (a totally amazing awesome dorm room by the way (really, i am not lying)), then it would maybe not be a bad idea.
September 6th, 2007 at 1:16 am
Okay – the comments on this list have give me more laughs than any other so far! Thanks guys
September 6th, 2007 at 5:38 am
Steve,
I still say that taking a girl to your apartment/house/dormroom on a first date is a Bozo-no-no. A first date should be on neutral ground. By facing her on your own turf, you could either be showing her that you’re uncomfortable and need to have control of the environment or that you’re a potential agoraphobic and have problems dealing with the outside world. Or that you’re a cad and plan on taking advantage of her.
Or you’re just barking weird.
So, what’s awesome about your dorm room? Beotching stereo system? Hi-tech lighting. Full wet bar capabilities? Unbelievably hot chicks dripping off the furniture?
Umm… need another roommate?
September 6th, 2007 at 7:04 am
RobS,
well, i guess if its someone who you just don’t know at all then yes, bringing them back to your place is not so great, but if it’s someone you’ve know for awhile, and are already friends with, it’s a good way to try to start out (i know, i’ve tried, but so far it hasn’t worked, so maybe you are right?! but, i have more then a few good friends who are girls now)
and my dorm consists of:
3 projectors one in my bedroom, one in my suitemate’s bedroom, and one in our common room (our main one)
Our main one gives a 115 inch diagonal screen, and is connected to a 5.1 Klipsch stereo system that my suitemate got for over 50% off (retails for over $2,500) and has an xbox 360, and nintendo wii hooked up to it. We also have over 200 movies, and months worth of recorded tv, which we watch often. It also goes up to 1080i, and cost way less then 32 inch plasms/lcds.
so far in the 4 days we’ve been at school, we used it 2 nights with the door open, and got many, many looks. A fair amount of cute girls, too by the way.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Steve,
Now I’m completely bummed out. I don’t even have that kind of stuff in my house and I’m a working professional (Professional idiot, sure, but still…)
When I was in a dorm room, all we had was a tiny stereo, with the speakers attached (Oh, and it played RECORDS!!!), no TV, AND WE HAD TO WALK 10 MILES TO CLASSES THROUGH WAIST DEEP SNOW, UPHILL BOTH WAYS!!!
And I won’t even mention the danger from rabid mastodons.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:22 am
I am pleased to say I never lived in a dorm – but as a professional myself I ALSO don’t have the majority of those things! I do have an Apple TV mind you
September 6th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Jamie,
Fine. Rub it in.
But seriously (yeah, right.), to get back on topic, I think that if you already know the person and have been friends with them, then that brings a whole new dynamic to the “first date” scenario. It may be a first date and it may be adding a new level to the relationship, but you’re not strangers.
I was thinking of a first date being a situation where maybe you met this person through a third party, or in class, or through somebody at ‘Russian Bride Magazine’, or something like that and this is really the first time you’ve gotten to know anything about them other than maybe their name.
OK, I just erased a whole lot of crap I just wrote because I realized just how wrong it was.
I think it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “Hey, you want to get together? Tell you what, how about if I cook for you?” And then take them to your house for a first date.
That’s completely OK in my book, and in many cases the woman really thinks it’s cool.
Unless you serve Dinty Moore and white bread, that is.
September 6th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
RobS, Dave, and Steve – I would be extremely apprehensive about going on a first date to someone’s apartment or house, unless I knew them very well. A dorm room might be different; it’s been several years since I was in college. To be honest, I think inviting a woman to your home is a borderline violation of Rule 4 – Respect. It almost comes across as if the man is implying “I know that I’m trustworthy, so you’ll just have to defer to my superior judgment and ignore any concerns for your safety that you might have.” And unfortunately, there are way too many cases of women who have been raped after voluntarily going to a man’s hotel room, dorm room or home and the response is along the lines of “Well, she should have known what he was going to do and shouldn’t have gone there.” I think you can see why many women might have to wonder what the man’s intentions were if he brought them to his home immediately.
(And if the man invites a woman over to hear his ventriloquist’s dummy sing karaoke, that is most definitely not a good idea!)
September 6th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Mathilda: thanks for that insight – guess the majority of the time it is not the best idea.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Very good point, Mathilda.
What if you take the date to someone else’s house?
“Oh… who’s house is this?”
“Dunno… let me see what it says on their mail. Oh, and see what they have in their fridge.”
It is at this point, if not slightly earlier, that the date has gone horribly awry…
September 7th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
RobS – What a very good idea! A man could find a lovely mansion, owned by wealthy people who are vacationing abroad, and take his date there for dinner on the first date. Then, after he gets lucky because his date thinks he’s rich, he can dump her and never talk to her again. When she shows up at “his house” looking for him, she’ll be in for a sad surprise. But, the article was about how to have a great first date; it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that there will be any future dates.
Hey, wait a minute! Why should the guys have all the fun? Mathilda leaves to go scout out the city for homes with no security system and mail stacking up in the box, and plots to tell the men that she’s a wealthy widow…
September 7th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Mathilda: haha – good plan
September 8th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Curses! And yet another of my nefarious plans is stolen from me!
I’ve got to get a book on copyright laws!
September 8th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
RobS: no! Not another lawyer!
October 7th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Steve, ‘ol buddy. Let me say you DO have a great dorm room, but let me give you the same advice I give my amigos: WAKE UP!!! IT’S OPPOSITE DAY WHEN YOU TRY TO THINK WHAT A GIRL LIKES! Only GUYS are impressed with the electronics… and, no offense, you sound like you are more in love with your pad than anything else (which I can understand).
A girl will be more interested in how she gets along with you rather than that rad, decked-out place. Think “opposite”. Think conversation rather than Halo 3. Think clean and nice clothes (sounds like you can afford it) rather than how much longer I can wear this if I turn this inside out. She’s going to want to look you in the eyes and get her cues from that instead of keeping up with what’s your body count.
Of course, you could run into one of those LinseyLohan/BritneySpears party girls that every guy dreams of… then, you’ll know she’s not the one.
Life is hard. It’s best to go through it with someone you can trust who will cover your six.
Bueno Suerte.
October 20th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
i would not date a girl that did not like halo 3!
October 20th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
lol a toast for juggz!
October 25th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Who wrote these “tips”?
Tip #1: Be yourself. If you’re a cheap MF, then don’t pay. You’re frugality will eventually raise it’s ugly head and to pay for a $200 night on the town is just going to give the wrong impression and attract the women you don’t want to end up with anyway. If you can’t afford it, then make a first date to a park.
Tip #2: Don’t give gifts on the first date. You’ll be judged on the perceived quality of the gift rather than who you are. Plus it won’t come across as genuine because you know nothing about the person to date. Gifts should have some thought behind them, as in, “I think this person would like this because I know they like XYZ, because i listen to them because I care about them”. And in reality, you don’t know anything about this person and don’t know it they are anti-consumerism which would shut you down as the first impression.
Tip #3: do something you enjoy doing on a regular basis, not just as a first date event. If you play darts with the boys every Friday, tehn make a date to play darts. Your passion will shine through, you’ll be more at ease and if they think it’s cool, then you might have a good companion on your hands. If they think it’s stupid, then you’ll know pretty quickly this isn’t someone you’d want to hang out with on a regular basis.
Tip #4: At least kiss on the first date. If they don’t reciprocate, chances are in the long run they won’t be attracted to you.
Tip #5: Don’t take it so seriously. If someone doesn’t like you, it’s not the end of the world. 50% of marriages end in divorce and of the people who stay together 1/2 of them are probably miserable. In short there is a 75% chance you’ll be in a miserable relationship. Being single isn’t so bad as society might make you feel it is. You can be happy and be single. They are not mutually exclusive.
Tip #6: It’s a numbers game. Increase the size of your pool. The more people you date, the better chances you have in finding someone who you’re compatible with. You need to put yourself out there and ask people out and attend events and functions where single people are and mingle…join a running club, soccer team, book club, ect…The bigger your pool the better chance you have at asking more people out who your actually attracted to. That will lead to a better chance you have in dating multiple people who share common interests and maybe you’ll find one worth keeping around.
Tip #7: Don’t sell yourself short. Someone out there is looking for someone who’s as unique, quirky and weird as they are. It might just be you. The list here makes everyone a cookie cutter showered and shaved polo shirt wearing preppy. Some women like a guy with a little funky smell and a big beard who wear pink pants. Don’t believe me? Take a good look around. The fattest, dumbest, ugliest person with no personality that you know is probably married.
tip #8: Don’t read lists on good first dates.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Thx to you all guys and girls.Well played.lol out loud.
December 9th, 2007 at 8:18 am
a few tips from the master…
1. make an assesment on the quality of the lady beforehand and plan accordingly.
- If you really like her DONT sleep with her on the first date. Wait until the second or third time until you go for it. But DO get her back to your room on the first date (using the fault-free technique mentioned below) and then let her go home by midnight. She’ll be impressed by your ability to release her from your clenches without doing her first. Also she’ll feel comfortable and safe in your room from then on.
-if you just kinda like her meet early (about 6pm) ; pick her up in your car and take her to a cafe or restaurant near your house. Have a few drinks and when its time to go say you just need to put your car away before we hit the town together (drunk driving is dangerous…! )Drive her back to your place, park, and then say hey lets grab a quick glass of wine in my room before we go out. (Have a bottle of cheap red ready) get her in your room comfy on your sofa lavish wine on her and go for it. She will do it because she will have no guilt about sex having never had much choice in the matter and the guilt factor is what usually makes girls sheepish about sex. Because you just kinda like her it doesnt really matter if you meet again. Maybe you will, maybe you wont.
best of luck, boys…
December 19th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Can we get one for the ladies? haha
December 19th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Or better yet…. what not to do for the ladies.
December 21st, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Great list especially the part about hygeine that is a must. The part about manners is really sweet but if you think about it chivlery is dead. oh and marko you repeated yourself in that sentence.
December 21st, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Sean,
Those are actually really good tips(taking this into perspective that im a female) but seriously let your first date be doing something that you like to do that way you can get to know each other better instead of speading $100 a night eating some nasty cake that tastes like hohos and sitting in a hard chair and then going to a crappy love movie to find out a big surprize that females love romance movies and begin to cry. And especially tip # 4 show some attraction that doesnt mean full on grabbing her ass and getting into it but yeah show that you like them. And i hate going on a date with someone picky cause chances are when you show up your not exactly what they were expecting or whatever, whatever happened to personality? And if you show up on a date completely serious….your not going anywhere.
December 29th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
eric n. Yeah. You’re the master*cough*bater. Your advice reads like a frat-boy manual that “works every time” 5% of the time. The fact that you mention bringing her back to your ROOM rather tham your apartment or place, really says a lot.
“Make an assessment on the quality of the lady”? You talk like a playah *snicker*. “fault-free” You like picking up insecure high-schoolers right?
Azmerelda: Totally right; chivalry is pretty much dead, but that’s what makes it so special when a guy goes out of his way to be a gentleman.
The list is great just how it is.
December 29th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
wow erin n., how many times has that technique actually worked for you? with a living breathing girl?
you MUST be in college, since your living space is confined to only ONE room, but it must not be a very good college if guys like you attend there…
March 13th, 2008 at 7:41 am
I’ve noticed that females get mad when I talk about the zodiac.
I am actually interested in that stuff but, I guess it just seems like a cheap attempt to hit on them.
I really have no idea why this happens.
March 24th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
i’m a genetic anomaly. i’m a girl, a very cool girl. i usually surprise guys by my burping and farting and ordering way too much food (i’m 6′ and weight 130 pounds, i can eat anything).
so this list? yeah, all this shit is fantabulous. i love guys being sweet. but some guys should know that its great to be goofy too. (and i’ve been raised by daddy and 6 older brothers… I KNOW MY STUFF)if you can make us laugh……. YOU HAVE A CHANCE!!!
April 26th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
You know, my mom always says that i should act like a girl and not be myself. Well, that’s just hard because I’ve tried not being myself and I end up disliking the dude and i normally avoid him.
The list? BOYZ i’ve got advice;let the girl feel comfortable around you and don’t make a move too fast! Or you’ll probably regret it! Being a girl it’s hard to get over the butterflies in your stomach on a 1st date. The girl is trying to be herself but not act too goofy so you’ll think she’s a loser or something. BOYZ don’t have a silent date, MAKE HER LAUGH!!!
April 26th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
You know, having a movie on the fist date isn’t bad.
JUST DON’T TALK TOO LOUD!!!
April 26th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
BOYZ don’t urge girls to make bad decisions!!!!
Make godly choices!!!
May 5th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I just wanted to say… this is messing with my head. First I find out JFrater is a guy, and now, I realize Juggz is a guy too??? Juggz = boobs. Right? I dont mean it as an insult… thats just what I thought. Everybody should write at the beginning of their posts: “I am a male/female.”
I am a female.
Keep messing with me everyone. I am getting so confused!!!
May 17th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Should be easy to guess my gender
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
No no no, you’re all missing the number one rule. Make sure you are good friends with the best friend first. That way she suggests things like shared showers at her place so you can both be ready to go clubbing on time. Also there’s nothing worse for her relationship than the best friend thinking you’re a cunt. It always leaves her worrying. For the first date, project easy confidence, but remember it’s all about her. Make sure she enjoys it and you most likely will to. If not well you can always then revert to the best friend as plan B. As to inviting her to your place I’d say yes but strictly living room/dining room and even then be careful, if the girl seems confident then it’s probably going to be ok, if she seems timid give her more room to breathe. Girls aren’t stereotypes so you can’t have a single always works plan. Also if she starts trying to get into your pants on the first date keep her out of them, chances are she’ll be getting into your friend’s pants a week later and that’s poor banter…
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Am I too late for a date at Steves place??
The projector screen(s)x-box and wii sounds like a great date! (though I wouldn’t want to hear the measurement and price of everything in the room as listed above…)
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where a guy has picked the first date, I guess I’m quite intimidating so I always get to pick. On my first date with my boyf we went tree climbing (to a place called Go Ape if anyone’s heard of it…) I totally recommend it.
Sporty/active dates are the best, unless your date is a bimbo who cries when she breaks a nail… (my problem is I look like a bimbo who would cry if she broke a nail, so if I didn’t suggest it myself i’d never get to go climbing or do fun stuff on dates)
Sean- the tip on being yourself, especially if you’re a cheap mf is a great one- If only my boyf had heard this one! lol
June 8th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Do not fib about your life, especially to make it sound like you are a superhuman. For example, do not claim to be a professional poker player or a special agent or friends with Leonardo DiCaprio or an accomplished banjo player who is requested to play with touring groups. All of those things can be easily refuted with simple, harmless follow-up questions. If you are delusional, perhaps you shouldn’t date until you can reach the sufficient threshold of medication.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:58 am
This should be required reading in schools.
July 26th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I think someone should make an equivalent list for women
Of course, it’d probably just rephrase most of the points on this list:
1. Offer to pay but don’t make a scene.
2. What’s there already.
3. Use your manners.
4. What’s there already.
5. What’s there already.
6. What’s there already. Remember to check beforehand whereabouts you’re going! Get the name of the place and ask a girlfriend about it if you don’t know it – try asking a guy what the dress standard is for a given restaurant/cafe/date location and more than likely you’ll get a shrug and a puzzled look (unless you’re going to a fancy restaurant with jfrater!). Don’t dress to emulate Britney Spears, Tara Reid, or Paris Hilton. Go easy on the perfume!
7. What’s there already.
8. What’s there already.
9. Don’t expect a gift! (I’m not saying that to be cynical) If one is offered, accept gracefully. If it comes from someone you’d like to see again – start thinking about a reciprocal gift.
10. What’s there already.
August 12th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Nice one! Made my Day! haha.
August 12th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Amazing!haha
August 30th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Make sure you know the person well before bringing them back to your place. Not only do you want to be inviting strangers (especially if you’re a lady), but it can give the wrong impression. If it’s messy, your potential mate will likely automatically think that you’re a slob. Me for instance, I always had a lot of junk that would scare away girls – guess which countries I used to collect military junk from? Chicks would get the impression that I was a republican or something! Knowing me beforehand though, they would already know that I was just into weird stuff like that.
“You know man…like Thompson!”
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 am
In my limited experience with dating.
2 people to be exact, there are no tips for a first date.
If he/she likes you then you take the good with the bad, i’ve only ever had 2 first dates, the first ended up with us on her sofa, on her floor, when the stairs then the bed… (was a good night that one)
But nothing really become of it, and even though i really enjoyed the night it was’nt meaningfull and it leaves you feeling very empty.
However my second first date went much slower we just satin a pub talking for a few hours asking each other questions having a laugh and it was a really nice evening, and i did’nt plan any of this if its ment to be it will just happen.
Tips…pfft they are for storing rubbish in.
September 5th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
i’m 14, and going on a date with this really pretty girl, and we’re going to the movies. How should i react, and should i talk to her?
To be honest, im noit completely sure that she fancies me
September 19th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Matt – nope don’t talk to her, you’ll only say the wrong thing. Just prod a hole in the bottom of the popcorn, slide your weener into the hole, sit back and relax. It’s dark in the movies so she doesn’t need to fancy you, she just wants to get her hands on a salty snack.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
dirk – that’s disgusting…i’ll tell my friends to try that one.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I typically agree with a lot of lists but must disagree with this one fundamentally, I will explain.
1. Pay
No, I let her pay if she offers and if she doesnt, I mention how she will get next time. I think this whole gentleman deal just puts down women further and its preventing their inequality. This is even more important if you are like me, in college and we both earn about the same.
2. Location
I agree with no movies, however you might want to mention being unique, something that makes you stand ut
3. Manners
Again, i hate chivalry, it is a sign that we men are still “protecting” women who are too “fragile” its time for equality people!
4. Respect
I suppose, I however would take it as far as she lets me. If you dont respect her if she gives it up on the first night, I think its because of a double standard that should be abandoned. But yes respect.
5. Confidence
agreed
6. Grooming
agreed
7. Conversation
I would say be yourself as well, and talking about past relationship depends on whether or not she can take it.
8. Timing
Very agreed
9. Gifts
I honestly dont want to spend money on a gift someone I hardly know. Before the date, I only know someone superficially unless she was my friend before… sorry but i disagree with a gift.
10. Conclusion
Agreed and true for a relationship too, honesty is KEY!
October 8th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Well said the lot of you, be yourself more right? Well I brought my djembe drums along in the car boot, two of them, so we did a call & response rthym & melody at the mountain top. She’s been crazy since.
October 25th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
lol i think this would be a good idea… im going on my first date with this other girl today too and i hope this works
December 16th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
oh my god
the popcorn comment.
so wrong, but i laughed.
December 16th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
RobS : You are by far one of the funniest posters I´ve read in a very long time. Please come back and post ALWAYS!
As for the list, I completely agree with all of it.
maximuz04 : Chivalry is not about men being superior, it´s about making a woman feel special. What could possibly be wrong with that?
December 19th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Why not show the appendix scar RobS? Haha!
December 21st, 2008 at 7:15 pm
How about making a list about the best posting people (posters?)
I nominate RobS to definately be on that top ten…
Haven’t laughed that hard since I saw michael jackson’s detachable nose…
December 27th, 2008 at 12:17 am
It’s all about the individual. I, for one, love being charmed– the humour and the chivalry get me every damn time. I also like rollercoaster dates and slurpies on winter walks– like so many things in a relationship, the very first step is assess and compromise.
Some people juggle geese, y’know?
January 9th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
#### Have ready a definite idea and a day in mind for a second date, 2-4 days after the 1st. Then you’ve got the option at the end of saying “Heh – what are you doing on …such a day”. Then she knows you’re keen and not intending to go away and think about it! #####
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
This is very helpful!
cheers…
I got my 1st date tomorrow, very excited!!!
March 25th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
i can still remember my first date with my boyfriend, with whom i am now very much in love. for both of us, it was our very first date EVER, and so we were both highly nervous. he took me to a womanless beauty pageant at his school, and we both laughed so much we cried. there are so many sweet memories i have of that night: his tender courtesy, his twitchy smile, his strong arms when we hugged goodbye, and all the little idiosyncracies and mannerisms i have come to adore over time. i love you, baby. thanks for a great first date, and every one since then.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:08 am
no gifts on first date, it shows you are trying to win her over right away. even small gifts.
also dinners are ok, but ACTIVE dates are much better. it gives a couple time to interact on something else besides focuses on just themselves.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Women are not goddesses and shouldn’t be treated as such. If women and men are on par with each other in every way shape and form (which they are), Tip 1 should be eliminated, Tips 5, 7, and 8 should be a mutual venture. Men don’t have to run everything. If we’re expected to do all of this, then as a female, you are admitting that you are unable to do these things.
Expect nothing in return? $100 pays 3.5 of my monthly bills. I’m not saying that a woman has to “put out” because that’s not the expectation. At least it’s not mine. My expectation is that this person is self-reliant. If i have to pay for everything, “take charge of the evening”, be confident(which by the way is a personality trait that not all people have), buy a gift, etc. i want something more than “Okay maybe i’ll see you again thanks for all the time and effort and $100+”. For all of that I want a, “Hey, let’s do this again sometime, on me.” Or if it didn’t go well I want the honest truth. I don’t want to leave wondering where my $100 went.
I still cant believe “Expect nothing in return” is headlined with “Respect”. Respect is a mutual give and take between people. I respect that she has bills to pay, she respects that i have bills to pay. Respect is so much more.
Remove or modify Number 4.
I also want specifics for #2. I don’t cook and would prefer not to have a dinner eating. I also work for a wage that barely allows me to get by. Assume i have an extra $30 to spare for a date and hypothetically food is out of the situation.
May 1st, 2009 at 1:18 pm
So….What prompted you to make such an obvious list? What person who stands any chance of a successful relationship needs tips like this. Yes, taking a shower before a first date MIGHT be a good idea, but if you needed this list to tell you that, you probably shouldn’t be going on a date in the first place.
-Doesn’t want to put a signiture
May 14th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Actually, I love to be taken to the movies on a first date, if its a nice film, because then you can go talk about it afterword. But thats just me, cause I adore film.
So, Exception from the nomovierule if the girl is a major cinephile.
May 20th, 2009 at 10:19 am
So, what you are saying is be somebody completely different than I really am? Seems a little disingenuous to me. It’s not that I lack manners and what not, I’m just not a ‘quiet dinner’ and ‘no jeans’ kinda person and not a ‘gift giver’ to someone I don’t know… I think the whole ‘be yourself’ thing will work better in the long run. My $0.02… ($0.03 Canadian).
July 17th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Movies are great for a first date. If you get there a little early, you have some time to chat before it starts. Then afterward you can grab dinner or dessert and have the movie to talk about. That way if it IS akward, you at least have something to talk about until it’s over.
August 11th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
This was obviously written by a woman, and I am aware that it says so, unfortunately, I find the information to be highly inaccurate… It’s like reading a how to not get a second date guide. Advice, do whatever the heck you want. Women don’t want to be with some pansee. Girls like the one that wrote this are uptight, and not fun. To boot you run a major risk of being used. It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. seriously.
August 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Plus, all women like jerks. It’s a fact. Give them undivided enthusiastic attention, then turn it off and ignore them. Be mysterious, and they’ll keep coming back. It’s the basic rule of attraction. People want what they can’t have. People are intrigued by what they don’t understand or can’t explain. Ok I’m done, but seriously that list pisses me off. It’s one-sided. It does take TWO to tango.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 am
Brad:
what you say is half truth, because in my high school years i made a girl fall over wheels for me by being gentle and romantic, she loved it, i sent her loved cards with poems (made by me), we had great talks and i have to admit it took long, very long but it worth it. By the time we dated we were totally in love with each other. My point women not always look the impossible.
In my country there’s a quote: “para los gustos se hicieron los colores”. I don’t know how to translate it but we use to refer that every person has it’s taste and will go for it.