[WARNING: This list contains images and language that may offend] I received a pleasant email from a friend this morning containing a variety of new book titles for kids. Looking through them I realized (and I am sure you will too) that none of these titles are likely to end up in the local school any time soon. I present you with 20 kids books your local school doesn’t stock.
Books 1 – 5
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Books 6 – 10
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Books 11 – 15
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Books 16 – 20
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
this is the first time i've herd of these.
hah theyre fake and photoshopped
wow, didn't find these funny at all
worst….list……ever…
Agreed, most of these are just offensive, especially #13
really why is #13 the most offensive little miss political correctness? why can’t the one with the jihad be just as offensive? personally I found 13 hilarious and if you have a problem with that then you can go ***** yourself!
I agree with you Napoleon,#13 and #14 were funny. P.S keep up the good comments mate.
Maybe because they’re making fun of something that really happened which changed the world and still terrify people’s hearts and mind who were victims and witnesess of such evil acts. I myself don’t think its funny especially to my jewish friends
Yes well lots of bad things happened in history and tht doesn’t mean it should be taboo to talk about them or evenmake the occasional joke (I know RIGHT??!!) Vesides I was simply pointing out the fact that lots of people die in suicide bombings and many other causes. We’re way too focused on the Holocaust. Stop dwelling on it. In another ten years, most of the people alive at that time won’t even be alive. And yes I think this list is hilarious regardless of what poltical correct thinking would suggest one to think.
and they are funny as hell.
That was Hilarious! My 3 year old walked by as I was looking and said, “Oh mommy can we read those books please?” No dear, not until you are in college.
how come I can’t find any of these on amazon.com?
because they're all fake…
I think the guy was being sarcastic.
lift the flaps book,,,i’m crying i’m laughing so hard…
I’m going to get these for my nephew’s birthday.
LOL at the Pinocchio book – it’s just so wrong !!
Hahaha…..lift the flaps…sheer brilliance.
HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! These are awesome… where did your friend get these from??
Can be damn sure they aren’t stocking The Banjo Players Must Die… And a crying shame that is. For the hamsters.
Where’s Spot? That is just wrong.
ha ha ha Little Miss Cameltoe. can’t. . . . stop. . . . laughing
Found these to be totally funny
Best….list….ever….
Agreed, most of these are just hilarious!!!! Especially # 17
Wow you naughty naughty boy. Those are hilarious.
hahah Jake: thanks – your comment is so much better than Yaji’s
Oh – and I posted these sober
I love 15, 16, and 17! Very good!
disappointing list
“Oh – and I posted these sober”
Sure ya did
When I first read the title, I was thinking hmm maybe I will have to see what we don’t have and get them for our library at school. Then I read the list and thought I might get fired.
I did a honest spit take at #17. “lift the flaps”
Pretty funny, although honestly I was hoping for a list of actual banned books.
These are all part of an ongoing photoshop contest on Cracked.com’s Forum, if I remember correctly.
lol
pretty sure your friend got them from here :
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/childrens-books/
ps. do ANOTHER unexplained mysteries list
love them
A few more titles for y’all.
“You Are Different and That’s Bad”
“Dad’s New Wife Timothy”
“Pop! Goes the Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games”
“Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets”
“Babar Meets the Taxidermist”
“Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence”
“The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables”
“Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change from your Mom’s Purse”
“The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy”
“Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will”
“The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead”
“How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary
School”
“Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear”
“You Were an Accident”
“Strangers Have the Best Candy”
“The Little Sissy Who Snitched”
“Some Kittens Can Fly!”
“Getting More Chocolate on Your Face”
“Where Would You Like to be Buried”
“Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her”
“The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!”
“All Dogs Go to Hell”
“The Kid’s Guide to Hitchhiking”
“When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer, They Say God Did It”
“Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia”
“What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?”
“Mr. Fork and Ms Electrical Outlet Become Friends”
“Bi-Curious George”
“Daddy Drinks Because You Cry”
“The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!”
“Strangers Have the Best Candy”
ROFLMAO !!
…meh…
I agree with Sidereus.
Aw. I was expecting real children books.
As for posting these sober, I think we need another cocktail list to fully appreciate this list.
Maybe the haters would prefer Top 10 politically incorrect kids books
These are absolutely brilliant! I used to read so many of these when I was younger (the originals of course)
LOL @ antlyon!! Love that title… “Pop! Goes the Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games”
Hands down my favourite on the list is Little Miss Camel Toe. I love the illustration!
to jf: Thanks, as always.
to antlyon: Great additions!
(fav: “Pop! Goes the Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games”)
to naysayers: razz !
I thought they were real at first…. I was thinking the writers were all high……
how can you hate on these? no sense of humor
i was smiling the whole time. it makes me want to write some of these books.
and did no one catch my “first” proclamation? or was everyone ignoring it?
hilarious list.
love the additions
antlyon: my faves are The Little Sissy who Snitched and When Mommy and Daddy don’t know the answer they say God did it. F-in funny man.
P.s. I think that last one (daddy drinks because you cry) came off a t-shirt from tshirthell.com
they’re famous for one-liners such as
“I eat more pussy than cervical cancer”
and
“I wish you were dead. . . and not just because I’m a necrophiliac”
and
“I drink in moderation. . . moderation is an imaginary place that exists wherever I am”
and
“If I had balls they would be bigger than yours”
good *****
Cracked.com had a very similar list today also…coincidence?
i don’t think so. 2 great lists on 2 great websites.
hehe..giggle…snort…heehaw…HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
-Andrea Carlena Beauman
a lift the flaps book
HI – LAIR – E – US
/I saw mom424′s post, but just had to say it again.
//awesome list
i love #3. that’s my kind of book. you know, i may have to write that book. if i had kids i would totally them the straight truth about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, dead pets, etc
btw i got to #6 before i realized these were fake, is that bad?
LMFAO on little miss cameltoe!
Andrea Carlena Beauman: What is a day in the life of Andrea Carlena Beauman like? Is Andrea Carlena Beauman in school or has she graduated? Does Andrea Carlena Beauman have any other names in her name? I would think not, since Andrea Carlena Beauman likes to use her full name as he screenname and as her tag when she leaves comments. It would be interesting if Andrea Carlena Beuman would also give her street address, social security number, bank account and credit card numbers, along with Andrea Carlena Beauman’s birthday, height, weight, *****ual orientation, hair/eyes and both Andea Carlena Beauman’s home and work phone numbers.
(Seriously, though, I kid Andrea Carlena Beauman. Andrea Carlena Beauman seems like a good sport.
)
obviously these are photo shopped, but still funny as hell!
Disappointing. This list cheapens the great stuff on the rest of the site.
jen: I don’t think so, its just funny and is pretty good.
LMAO @ SlickWilly!!!!
Jen: these are meant in a funny way… if you feel it cheapens the site then perhaps you don’t realize how lighthearted the site really is.
I suggest looking up the 50 funniest jokes list.
hahaha, good list!
I can’t take credit for writing the ones in my previous post. I got them in an e-mail years ago and have just saved them with some other jokes I have got over the years.
HOLY FARK #6 IS SUPER FUNNY! Thanks for this list-good way to start the weekend-with a sense of humour! LIGHTEN UP SOME OF YOU! You might live longer–but if you’re going to be miserable, maybe you don’t want to live longer…maybe the people around you don’t want you to either. SERIOUSLY-CAN WE ALL JUST FRICKIN RELAX!?!?!?
If you can’t just laugh at something, at least don’t ruin it for other people by being the wet blanket–I bet you guys (complainers) are a HIT at parties too.
R-E-L-A-X!
The Very Angry Caterpillar with the angry eyebrows and the “F*ck Off!” just KILLED me. Oh man. I love it.
Post #24- makes me think of one of the “Deep thoughts by Jack Handy”- “When a child asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell them is “God is crying.” When the child asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell them is “probably because of something you did.”
It makes me laugh every time I hear it!
Bloody funny!
I’ve read the real versions of 2, 4, and 17
They are all funny, though.
SlickWilly:
You remind me of the saying: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me!” 
These are F*CKING FUNNY!
…im sad. I didnt find these funny. I come to this site looking for interesting stuff, yet tonight all i find is another lame list i would expect to see on ebaumsworld. Im going to go cry all my sorrows away in the shower
Slickwilly- Your comment about Andrea Carlena Beauman was funny than the list!!!
Yeah…I meant “funnier”.
How about a real one? “Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book,” by Shel Silverstein. Leave that one next to “The Bible Story” the next time you’re at the clinic, and watch the little monsters bawl.
Let’s not forget “The Danish Collection of Cartoons Depicting the Prophet Muhammad.”
Jimbo78934, You have to have the light in order to better appreciate the dark, and vice versa……
You are talking to the woman who had a two page discussion on moral absolutes and the human psyche, and I laughed like a hyena over the Lift the Flap line, and the Pinocchio; The Lying C*** just fueled the fire….
lighten up fer chrissakes