Top 10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Cooking
- Published April 16, 2008 - 251 Comments
As many of you know, I love cooking; it is my main hobby. Over the years I have discovered little tips that make cooking so much better. These are things which are most often lacking when someone presents you with bad or dull food. If you follow all of these tips, your cooking will improve dramatically.
The Microwave Oven is good for one thing only: defrosting; and even that can be done just as easily by putting something in the refrigerator one day before your need it to defrost gently. Microwaves do not add to the flavor of anything they cook, whereas stove top or oven cooking does – through the caramelization of juices (which is what gives us the brown crispy outside of meat). Having a microwave in the house leads to the temptation to cut corners. I have not had a Microwave for 3 years and I can still cook an entire meal from scratch in less than 40 minutes – and I guarantee it tastes a hell of a lot better than anything cooked in a microwave.
If you are using a recipe, read it twice from beginning to end before you start doing any cooking. So often we skim a recipe and then in our hurry (once things start to heat up) we neglect certain steps. By reading the recipe twice, you are less likely to skip a step which can result in disaster. Having said this, I also recommend that try to experiment with your cooking – don’t become a slave to your cookbook – but make the choices intentionally, not through forgetfulness.
If you are cooking a meal with multiple components – such as a roast chicken with vegetables, it can be very helpful to write a list of what you need to do and when. You can write down specific times (I find it useful to work back from the time you want to serve). This results in a much smoother working process and you won’t have people waiting for dinner to be served late.
Wine can add a lot of flavor to a meal; if you are braising meat – for example in a pot roast, pour in some wine. The alcohol content left after cooking is not enough to make this an “adults-only” meal (on the other hand, I think children should be given wine with dinner from a very young age anyway). The general rule is to use red wine with red meat, and white with white. If you are going to pan fry some fish, just pour in a half cup of white wine and some herbs, and you can make a lovely meal with a ready made sauce.
Dried herbs have little or no flavor. This tip alone can transform bland food in to masterful food. You can either grow your own herbs, or you can buy them fresh from the supermarket. The herbs you are most likely to use repeatedly (and therefore the best ones to grow yourself) are thyme, bay leaves, parsley (use the Italian flat leaf type – it has a lot more flavor than curly parsley), and (to a lesser extent unless you like to do a lot of oriental cooking,) coriander (cilantro). Another less common herb that you should try if you haven’t is tarragon – it has a slight aniseed flavor and is excellent with fish or chicken; buy the French kind – the other type (Israeli) has no flavor.
Forget everything you have been told about salt and health. If you want to eat good food, you need to use plenty of salt. A real pinch of salt involves using 2 fingers and a thumb, not the forefinger and thumb. People have been frightened off using salt by government advertisements, and it is ridiculous. The French eat a lot of salt (and butter) and they have a very low cardiac deathrate compared to a nation such as England which has a bizarre obsession with salt reduced diet. When boiling pasta, make sure the water tastes like the sea. If you have never tasted seawater, it tastes like it is so salty that a mouthful would make you gag. For a very large pasta pot of water, I usually use two small handfuls of salt. When cooking vegetables in water, always add salt. Contrary to popular belief, salt in cooking water does not stop the color from leeching out of vegetables, it simply enhances their flavor. Also, if you boil your potatoes before roasting, salt water helps to give more color and crunch to the outside.
Butter is fundamental in good cooking. When you fry a steak, you should always fry it in butter (with a little oil added to stop the butter burning). Butter adds flavor to anything, and can also be used as a thickener (see sauce below). Do not use margarine, do not use semi-soft butter. Always cook with unsalted butter (then you can decide exactly how much salt you want the dish to have). If you really want to improve boiled or steamed vegetables, undercook them, then add them to a pan with a big knob of butter and finish the cooking over a high heat. Add salt, pepper, and chopped parsley.
They say that a good sauce is the difference between a cook and a chef. Sauces are extremely easy to make and you should almost always prepare a sauce to go with your meals. If you have fried meat in a frying pan, leave the heat on and pour some wine in to the pan – scrape all the bits off the bottom and cook until the wine has evaporated by half. Pour in some stock (any type will do, but do try to match the stock with the meat – or use chicken for everything except fish) and cook down until it is half again. Taste it and add salt and pepper if you need to. Strain and serve. Additionally, if you want your sauce to be a little thicker, whisk in a knob of butter off the heat.
Fresh ingredients make all the difference. Vegetables and meat bought from small producers (such as local farms) is even better. Supermarkets have strict requirements about the appearance of food and very little concern about taste. An apple bought from the local market will always be better than anything you can buy in a supermarket. Add to that the overpacking that we see so often in chain markets and you have a recipe for disaster. I guarantee you that any of your regular recipes when made with fresh ingredients and not supermarket ingredients will be 100 times better.
Tasting is the most important part of cooking. You must constantly taste what you are cooking as you cook it. This is true even of things like hamburgers. You should take a little bit of your hamburger meat and fry it – then taste it. Keep adding more salt and pepper or other ingredients and repeat the frying. When it finally tastes right, you can make your burgers. Because this is such an important part of cooking, many chefs will not cook with ingredients they do not like. Tasting early in the cooking process can save you from a disaster later on – when it is too late to recover.
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April 16th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Practice, Practice, Practice. that is the best way to get good at everything.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:37 am
Amazing. I love to cook myself. A trait passed down to me by my mother. I knew you liked to cook JF, but I didn’t know to this extent. Absolutely stunning list.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:39 am
Oh yeah, and excellent advice about knowing the recipe without being shackled to it. my main thrust of cooking is the department of baking. being creative with the order of processes and amount of certain ingredients, usually salt and chocolate, has led me to some wonderful results.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:44 am
Experiment as much as possible !
April 16th, 2008 at 5:47 am
I’ve never once in my life ever used a “booked” recepie. I’ve had great success. But I was taught the rules of cooking. All my measurements are done by eye. I measure spoonfulls in my palm, liquid amounts by time, etc. But of course, I’ve done little to no baking.
Bakings an exact science if I understand right, DiscHuker?
April 16th, 2008 at 5:56 am
I fully agree with dischuker, the more you practice your cooking, the more likely you are to know what things can go wrong, what works, what doesn’t etc… My brother’s gotten to the stage where he makes specific touches to everyone’s plate depending on what they prefer, he’s amazing. I think that this and your other list about unusual food combinations are some of the most interesting on the site. I chucked in some aniseed into my mum’s meat once, just to see what would happen, and it turned out to be the best thing she’s ever made.
And mate, with all the time you spend on this site, how do you have time to cook all the time!
April 16th, 2008 at 5:59 am
For an interesting change use Ghee instead of butter.
It is a clarifed butter from India. If kept in a closed container it does not need refrigeration, so it is softer than regular butter.
Great taste as well.
I agree with everything except number 10.
You would be better off bringing it to a recycle center
April 16th, 2008 at 5:59 am
DiscHuker: that is so true – I think it is a good idea to really perfect a few base recipes then play around with others until you perfect them too. On your other point about baking – I find baking terrifying – though I have no problems with cooking – I am always worried that things will go wrong.
Borka: definitely true of cooking – you can come up with some weird and wonderful stuff!
Levi: Thanks
I love writing food lists
If you like this list you might like this one too: http://listverse.com/miscellaneous/top-10-basic-cooking-tricks/ (top 10 basic cooking tricks)
April 16th, 2008 at 5:59 am
11. Use olive oil
April 16th, 2008 at 6:03 am
carpe_noctem: I love cooking so much that I make time
Sometimes dinner is at midnight – but at least I have fun on the way
And you are dead right about the aniseed thing – I almost always use it when cooking slow cooked meat now.
stevenh: oh – that is a good point – if you use ghee you don’t need to add oil to stop the butter burning because Ghee doesn’t have the solids that butter has.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:04 am
juanjux: I do use olive oil – but only when I am cooking something from a region that produces it – ie, Italian, Greek. I always use butter for standard European fare as that is what the French use (and they invented modern cuisine)
April 16th, 2008 at 6:05 am
I hate cooking. I took Home Ecenomics in 8th grade. I got a C. For those non americans – I took a sewing and cooking class when I was 13-14 yrs old and I barely got a passing grade. We were making cookies from a recipe. We thought we read the recipe. Somehow we missed the word melted. We were supposed to melt the chocolate before adding it. OOPS. Course I was in a group with 2 other people so I guess I shouldn’t take all the blame. They didn’t quite turn out like they were supposed to. I am saying your number 9 of read read read and read again of the recipe is always a good idea.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:06 am
I always like cooking on a gas stove top rather than electric
April 16th, 2008 at 6:09 am
i’m so glad australia has normal subjects… it seems like home economics is just the class you take when you can’t be bothered to do anything else… i’m terribly sorry jfrater if you do that over in new zealand (incidentally, i’m the only aussie in existence who likes you guys!)
and i love cooking too, i made my family wait until like 11 at night to eat once because i was too busy making it right. i think something that worries people is when something goes wrong, and maybe it’s just the aussie mentality of ‘oh well, so that didn’t work, try again’ but if something doesn’t work, or it’s completely unsavable, start again, who cares!
April 16th, 2008 at 6:11 am
JF: From reading the comments in this list and the other one, it sounds like you’re a marvelous cook. Perhaps posting a list of your favorite recpies wouldn’t be a bad idea.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:13 am
and jfrater, do you like music? because there doesn’t seem to be an enormous amount of music-related lists on the website. i know i’d love to see something on some composers of the romantic or classical period, or anything on piano works of the last couple of centuries… just a thought!
April 16th, 2008 at 6:13 am
JwJwBean: how can you hate cooking?! I am shocked!
islanderbst: me too – by far! Gas is so much easier to manage
carpe_noctem: I have the same attitude as you with starting over – I have no problems throwing something out and starting again. And NZ does do home economics (or used to) – but it is very brief (only in the two years prior to starting high school).
April 16th, 2008 at 6:17 am
levi: that’s an awesome idea! jf your fans have spoken
April 16th, 2008 at 6:23 am
levi: I was thinking that before actually
I might do that – I have a great recipe for lamb shanks!
April 16th, 2008 at 6:27 am
I know jfrater, I know. Absolutely shocking. Anyone want some Easy Pineapple Cake, er bread, er goo…
And I had many things I wanted to take in school. I chose Home Ec. because at the time I thought I wanted to cook and sew and be a Future Home Maker of America (I was the vice pres. of the FHA at the time). I guess it is better to learn those things at home. My mom is an excellant cook and seamstress. She just didn’t have the patience to teach me.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:29 am
carpe_noctem: I do – I have done a few opera and 20th century classical music related lists. I actually studied opera and worked as a professional singer for a number of years. Here is my favorite piano concerto (Concerto for Piano and Strings) by Alfred Schnittke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9DEfeU1lis – it is in three parts – listen to them all – great stuff.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:29 am
Great List; Great job Jamie. Y’all know I love food. The microwave tip is the very best. My family all works on different shifts; the only thing we use our microwave for (not including stuffed green peppers – sorry they turn out better – you don’t have to blanch them) is for heating up the dinner they missed.
I own about 40 cookbooks. I read them, I close them, then I go cook. The only exception is cakes and pastries.
I don’t find it necessary to make a list anymore, (unless I’m catering a dinner), but it took me 25 years to get the timing thing down pat.
The only other suggestion I would make is to cook seasonally. What I mean is don’t decide to have raspberry coulis in May. Raspberries are only good (ie; not trucked from 10,000 miles) in august/september. If what you need is not seasonally available; frozen is a better bet. They at least are processed immediately, generally picked ripe, not picked hard and disgusting and sprayed with some shit to make them ripen.
Again – as Jamie said – buy the very best ingredients you can afford.
Jamie – we are finally getting some decent purchased stocks where I live – unfortunately they are marked as organic so cost about 4 X as much as they should. They are worth it.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:30 am
When I find myself eating something delicious at a restaurant, I’m constantly thinking about how I can replicate it at home. After many tries and mistakes, I usually can come up with the same thing at home. I hear people say they don’t want to cook when they come home from work or whatever, but I find it relaxing and a worthwhile activity. The smell in your house after baking bread – not from a friggen machine but with your hands – is reason enough to try it.
Most of what you’ve suggested here is well taken.
Cooking for yourself is satisfying and rewarding, but you have to be patient and curious. Cookbooks can help, as well as watching decent cooking how-to shows. But there’s no substitute for curiosity and an adventurous spirit. And you’re right on about salt and butter, and I would add olive oil and cream to the list.
I read Anthony Bourdain’s book Kitchen Confidential and he has a chapter devoted to why he’s a chef and you’re not, not a in a snobby way, but he explains little things that you can do to improve your cooking skills and much of what jfrater listed is also in his book. My entire taste in food was transformed after I made my own batch of Emeril’s Essence. Whether you like the guy or think he’s an annoying troll, that spice is damn tasty on just about anything savory. And anyone who watches something like Top Chef or Alton Brown, or even Gordon Ramsay’s programs knows, simple fresh ingredients and good preparation always trumps anything pretentious that you might think you need to do to be a good cook.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Jfrater:
Great list (amazing that some people don’t view these suggestions as common-sensical, even now). I’d make only two additions:
And *always* use good, extra-virgin olive oil (except for high-heat frying and deep-frying).
And when a recipe calls for lemon juice–use LEMONS… not the stuff out of a bottle.
one other one—never use tomato sauce from a bottle. Make your own.
(This from 1/8 Greek, 1/4 Italian Randall).
April 16th, 2008 at 6:36 am
I should clarify; here organic (unless you buy directly from the farmer) is a crock of shit. They are still processed by the same companies that produce the regular non-organic food. Using too much cow-shit is not any better for you than processed nitrogen fertilizer. Natural pesticides are just as toxic as man-made poison. Shop the markets. Get to know your green-grocer. or Grow your own.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Mom424: you are dead right about seasonal produce – by shopping at a farmers market you should really only have seasonal stuff available. I think it also makes it nice for the seasons to be marked by different foods – it gives you something to look forward to as the new season approaches. As for the list for timing – I still need it – big time!
Bucslim: good points – I try to guess what is in everything when I eat out too – and I also find cooking relaxing – I am happy to spend an entire day in the kitchen – or even weekend if I am making something especially complex. It makes the eating so much more worthwhile when you know the effort put in. And I also agree about the bread machine – I should have mentioned that in item 10 too – that is another device you can certainly throw away
April 16th, 2008 at 6:40 am
Mom – you get smarter every time I read your comments. What’s for dinner?
April 16th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Randall: true about the olive oil – it is good to have very high quality olive oil in the house because if you just want a quick snack for guests you can put oil and balsamic vinegar in a dish with bread on the site and no cooking is needed at all! And you are right about the lemon juice – I didn’t mention that because in NZ it is incredibly rare to see people use bottled lemon or lime juice – people generally squeeze their own; I guess it is more common in the US to use pre-packed.
Mom424: I am of two minds about organics as well – which I why I said farm fresh but did not say organic. Unfortunately in the UK, organic is about the only way to get good quality fruit as people will excuse blemishes, etc. The rest of the fruit and veges taste like rubber. And as for growing your own – I just bought 50 packets of vege seeds today – I will be planting them once I return to NZ
April 16th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Hey Bucslim; I make my own Bam seasoning mix too. Damn tasty! I got sick of Emiril pretty quick; is it just me? it seems he seasons everything the same.
I do swiss chalet chicken better than swiss chalet. Also whole stuffed (with t-bone tails, red wine, peppers, onions) potato skins. Stolen from the Keg. Gazpacho stolen from LaFayette Restaurant. Quite the thief I am.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:47 am
bucslim: if i’m ever at a restaurant and i really really love it, i ask the chef how he made it. maybe it’s different in america (i’m assuming you’re american, don’t hold it against me if you aren’t) but most chefs seem quite willing to share their secrets. it’d be like a doctor not telling you how he fixed you, people get into these careers because they love what they do, not because they’re making a lot of money out of it
jfrater: i’ve already seen that concerto, i love it! my favourite is rachmaninoff’s first concerto for piano and orchestra (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mi96lHAlOg if you’re interested), i got to play that with my school’s orchestra, it was amazing! i started playing piano when i was 3 (i’m almost 19 now) and the french people (i’m in france for a year on youth exchange) can’t seem to comprehend that anyone would do something for so long a time… and that’s amazing about the opera thing, i was never much of a singer haha…
April 16th, 2008 at 6:52 am
carpe_noctem: Nice to know that Schnittke’s appeal is well spread! And you are in one of my favorite countries in the world! I love France and the French! Take advantage of your time there. It must have been great to play Rachmaninov with an orchestra; I am not the biggest fan of his stuff but I recognize that a great deal of talent is needed to play it. Planning on tackling the number 3 anytime soon?
April 16th, 2008 at 6:54 am
jfrater – have you read Kitchen Confidential? If you haven’t it’s really interesting to anyone who cooks. Salty language and ridiculous stories from the restaurant kitchen including stealing, substance abuse and burning flesh.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Meh… This list seems very ‘preachy’. What you like isn’t necessarily what everyone likes. Fair enough some of them are common sense (9,8,2), but what if someone isn’t a big fan of wine for example? I can’t tell the difference between fresh and dried herbs, we use both at home, whichever is closer to hand. Microwaves are really useful for warming up leftover quickly, & they (mostly) taste the same as heating them up in the oven, & take a fraction of the time.
Why do you think young kids should be given wine with meals?
April 16th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Just a little note; you don’t need a formal vegetable garden to grow your own. I have beautiful flower gardens all around my house (I will post some pics over on the picture thread later today) in the midst of my flowers, if you look close, you will find garlic, lemon thyme, basil, peppers etc. I grow patio tomatoes. I live in potato country, and close to the Holland Marsh, so I don’t grow any root vegetables. Potatoes, Carrots, Onions, turnips, cabbage, are available in good condition all year here.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:59 am
jf: i’m having the best time here, they let me join the youth orchestra at the place i’m living in haha! and the third has to wait for a little while, it’s bloody hard! not many people know about the first one, but it’s awesome… i love liszt as well, i’ve been looking for ages for the original liszt version of the 2nd hungarian rhapsody, and (i have no idea if you know these, but you definitley should listen to them) i’m learning his paganini etudes, they’re bloody impossible! you have to watch La Campanella, i started it when i was about 13, and it’s by far the hardest piece i’ve ever played!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Mom – I used to love Emeril before his live show. His solo show seemed to be more about cooking exciting food. His live show was just annoying after about a week, the excitement was overblown and with every gutteral scream, he started to become chalk screetchings. I loved his enthusiasm, but he stepped on that gas pedal too many times. I prefer Alton Brown’s Good Eats much more. And I love Gordon Ramsay’s salty language and sheer commitment.
carpe – I once ate a bowl of rice noodles and grilled pork at a Vietnamese restaurant. It was heaven. I must have tried cooking that at home in a wok 20 times before I came up with something similar. i would have asked the chef how she did it, but I don’t speak vietnamese.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Dangorironhide; Wine for cooking, alcohol is evaporated out of it. I don’t drink very often (I prefer red when I do), but I use it at least 2 or 3 times a week; for sauces, gravy (thick sauce), marinating pot roast. That kind of thing. Zabaglione is the only thing I can think of off-hand where the booze isn’t cooked out of it.
Honestly though a glass of wine with dinner (they do it in Europe all the time) isn’t gonna hurt your kid. In fact I believe it promotes responsible drinking. Drinking as an accompaniment to a meal, not to get wasted.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Mom – I produce a television gardening program. Our website is undergoing some construction issues right now, but if you want to check it out go to http://byf.unl.edu. It’s also podcasted under “Backyard Farmer.” And the features I produce are also on YouTube and Yahoo Video.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:06 am
dangorironhide: because I think it promotes responsibility with alcohol and takes away the mystery of alcohol. I think the French attitude to wine (which is the same as mine) is why the French don’t have problems with youths binge drinking like the English do. As for your other point – I guarantee you would taste the difference between dried and fresh tarragon in a chicken pie
April 16th, 2008 at 7:11 am
bucslim: good point… you can always try to ask him and see how far it gets you… but hey, at least you got there in the end!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Mom424: that sounds like the sort of garden I would love to grow- I just need to buy some books now – to learn about the ins and outs of growing from seed.
carpe_noctem: I am familiar with the pieces you mentioned – it is good to see such passion for music – an essential element in success
Oh – and I forgot to mention to dangor in the last comment – the taste of cooked wine is not the same as when you drink it – it develops in the cooking.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Rosemary is another spice that is way better fresh. The flavor is much more subtle, less perfumy, just better. Carefully slip your hand between the skin and the meat of a whole chicken. Make a pretty pattern with fresh rosemary. Salt well inside and out. Roast. Yum. Even lamb chops (not my fave) with garlic and fresh rosemary and olive oil. To die for.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:19 am
“I think children should be given wine with dinner from a very young age anyway”
Care to explain why ?
Thanks
April 16th, 2008 at 7:19 am
i can’t believe some people genuinely believe that food with wine added to it is alcoholic… there’s more alcohol in a chocolate liquer than in a steak with a bottle of wine upended onto it… and i do fully agree with the french method, wine with dinner promotes healthy drinking in later life. it’s like sex, if you don’t educate kids about it early, they’re going to pick up a whole heap of stuff at school and on tv, which doesn’t really promote a healthy education…
is it a mortal sin if my dad adds beer to food?
April 16th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Mom424: lamb chops are about the only thing I use rosemary with – I am not a fan of it otherwise.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Bucslim; very cool site, some questions I needed answers to. I have a flowering crab apple tree that needs pruning.
Jamie; I’m not sure about the growing season in NZ but here we need to start some stuff in the house in peat pots. Tomatoes & pepper plants for instance. Swiss chard, peas, beans, radishes, beets, all are started in the garden. I always have a patch of chard. Harvest it with scissors, it keeps growing back. I much prefer it to spinach or beet greens or kale.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:23 am
carpe_noctem: definitely not (the beer thing) – Heston Blumenthal puts beer in his fish and chips batter – it is quite common. You can also make beer bread. Yum.
boab: see above. Additionally, I don’t see any problem with children drinking alcohol with parental supervision (this does not mean I would give children vodka, etc.) In New Zealand (where I grew up) children are allowed to drink at any age in a restaurant as long as they have adult supervision (and without adult supervision from 18). I believe the same is true of France, and Italy. Not sure about the UK. I am not quite sure why alcohol is so demonized.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Mom424: the NZ season is the opposite of the US – and the climate is similar to England though in the major cities it doesn’t get as cold as England and summers are hotter.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Jfrater; I know dried rosemary has a taste similar to after-shave. Honestly I like most regional foods, chinese, thai, mexican (not taco bell), japanese (i skip the chicken heads and fish guts), but I cannot get my mouth around Middle Eastern – North African food. It all tastes, even the candy, like you should be spraying it in your armpits. Cardomam, pine nuts, rosemary, juniper berries – yuck.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Fresh ingredients is probably the most important thing on this list IMHO.
I don’t like fish at all. It tastes bland and plain and downright odd. Last Christmas my family and I went fishing on the Great Barrier Reef and cooked the fish as soon as we got home – without ever freezing it (it was on ice in the cooler on the boat but that’s it) – and it was some of the best meat I’ve ever tasted; I can’t wait to go back this year and eat more!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:36 am
i’m going to go with mom on this one, north african food really doesn’t taste like anything that’s meant to go in your mouth… and food (with music, film and rugby) is one of my loves of life, i’m willing to try anything from anywhere in the world, and almost always love it, but i never managed to get around the whole, this smells an awful lot like un-food thing that the middle east has got going on there…
jfrater: beer bread! oh dear god yes, that’s next on my to-do list. and the french love their bread, so i could introduce the next big thing ha… is it possible to add too much wine to food? like, i would have thought almost definitely yes, it’s like salt, if you add too much, it doesn’t work, but my mum seems to think you can just chuck as much as you want, it’ll just enhance the flavour more
April 16th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I cut up a couple of hotdogs and threw them into a pot of Kraft Shells ‘n Cheeze. It was…okay.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:41 am
boab – I think one of the reasons is to develop a child’s palate. And I think we have such an over abundance of fear about alcohol that other countries like France don’t have because they are introduced to wine at an early age.
But we rely on fast food so much in America to feed our children I sincerely think it stunts children’s appreciation for good food that goes beyond not wanting to finish your vegetables. Sure there’s a danger of drinking too much, which probably won’t happen if mom and dad are sitting at the table. But helping a young adult figure out what actually tastes good is never a bad thing. And it’s probably better than chicken nuggets and orange goo. But realistically it’ll never catch on here, there’s too much fear when it comes to alcohol. I don’t know how the stinky French do it, but I raise my glass to them in that respect.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:45 am
SlickWilly; as long as they were either Nathan’s or Schneider’s Red Hots I could stomach it. Being Canadian I prefer the original Kraft Dinner in the box. (We have the highest per capita consumption of KD in the entire world). We actually have it every couple of weeks or so. Instead of potatoes or rice. Last time we had Bar-B-Que’d marinated loin chops (lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, dried herbs, salt & pepper), stir fried veg and 3 boxes of KD. I feed 7 people every meal.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:46 am
carpe_noctem: if it a long cooking casserole I think you could be fairly liberal with the wine – at least a bottle. If it is a dish being cooked on the stove, or a sauce, you would use the wine to taste.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:47 am
bucslim/boab: i have no idea how the french get away with it, but they drink more than any country i know, and there’s almost no trouble with alcoholism here… i agree that much of america’s reluctance probably stems from fear about what might happen, but realistically, the kids are drinking anyway, and it promotes a much healthier attitude towards alcohol if they’re introduced to it earlier. my parents have always been very happy to let me do pretty much whatever i wanted in regards to drinking, and there’s never been any problems towards it, if i wanted a drink, i could ask for one, no questions asked…
April 16th, 2008 at 7:51 am
jfrater: my parents tend to drink the wine as they’re putting it in, so over-wining is rarely a problem, but it’s good to know! my mum definitely follows your last rule about tasting, she always makes sure that it still tastes like it’s meant to… and i think i completely forgot to mention this: great list! every one of those points i agree with!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Mom424: I have the same problem with Middle Eastern. I think it is the overwhelming (and ubiquitous) combination of brine and sweetness that turns me off. I had, however, the most amazing roasted rosemary chicken at a Lebanese restaurant the other weekend. mmm.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:01 am
There’s been some mention of the boxed Mac-N-Cheese here so I thought I’d share this little tidbit:
In addition to producing television shows, I also have produced distance education classes for the University I work for. Most of the classes I’ve been a part of have been in entomology – the study of insects for the uninitiated. Anyway, the professor told me for one of his freshman introductory classes he had the students bring in a box of Kraft Mac-N-Cheese as well as generic brands. In 10 years of looking at the packet that contains the cheese powder through a microscope he has NEVER come across a packet WITHOUT cockroach parts or rodent hair/feces. I know that stuff is in virtually everything we put into our mouths, but I pretty much stick to making my own home-made version of Mac and Cheese.
If I get nostalgic, I can always sprinkle some cockroach parts and rat hairs on top.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Bucslim; Some how it doesn’t surprise me. KD is almost a comfort food here. Like Apple pie. It actually doesn’t gross me out very much. I also eat hotdogs (I am picky about the brand, but that is for flavor, I’m sure Schneider’s if full of ears, lips, hair and god knows what) and peanut butter. The allowable ratio bugs/peanuts is pretty high last time I heard.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:10 am
Salt?? Blargh!! Personally I cannot stand salt, and I can pick up even pretty small amounts in food. For me it’s not about the whole health issue, I just think salt’s flavor is crap, cheap-tasting even. It completely wipes out your palate. Good seasoning is very important to good food preparation, but this to me DOES NOT include salt. (And I cannot wait until everyone gets off this whole replacement products trend [like seasalt and splenda] and how they are soo much more healthy for you and are magic and will help you lose weight and have magic children blah blah blah)
April 16th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Having scientists made those pills that contain as much nutrition and whatever as a meal yet? No? I’m really looking forward to Heinz Super Sausage, Beens And Mash Pills.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Mom – and I thought all you Canucks ate was back bacon, beer and doughnuts. Take off eh?
April 16th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Celeste; I have a sister who tells me she doesn’t like salt except on fries. Her husband is a chef. He salts correctly, before it gets to the table. Either in the sauce or directly on the food. Maybe you are just salt sensitive? Used correctly salt enhances the flavor of almost everything. I am careful; if I am using commercially prepared soup or stock, I don’t season until the end.
Try oatmeal. Not the instant kind. Make it without the salt; it tastes starchy and gloppy. With the salt it tastes much nuttier.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:19 am
bucslim; ayuh, and Timmy’s Coffee (Tim Horton’s has the highest sales of ‘quick foods’ in Canada), and KD.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Got to agree with the salt. What is it with the UK anti salt thing. Took me a while to realise my chips dont come with salt.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Celeste: Salt is *extremely* important in good culinary cuisine. An experienced chef will know how the salt affects the flavor of the dish, the cooking time, and how the salt itself helps cook the dish. A big thing to remember, though, is that few classically trained chefs will use plain old table salt. It has no character to it. There are literally dozens of different kinds of salt, each one with a distinct flavor and character about it, that influences food in slightly different ways. If you ever eat in a nice, gourmet restaurant, often you won’t even find salt and pepper on the table when you sit down. Experienced fine diners are generally expected to trust that the chef will salt the meal appropriately, before it reaches the table.
Mom424/bucslim: Thank you both for taking the wind out of one of my many bad jokes. Not surprised about the cockroach parts, I’ve heard that many years ago. Every item on the assembly line is allowed a certain ppm of cockroach parts and vermin feces. Peanut butter is usually the biggest offender. Take that, pb&j. I don’t let it bother me.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Slick – that might be true in some respects about the salt. But I’ve heard that in the same vein as wine. People I trust say that there are rules about this stuff, like what wine goes with what food, but in the end it’s important to trust your own palate. There’s some rule about not putting italian cheeses on seafood pasta, Jacques Pepin does it, because as he said, he likes it. Of course snobs will disagree, but you can’t argue with a guy like that.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Celeste: sea salt (which is what I cook with) is salt that is completely untreated – it is just pure flakes of salt. The most commonly found salt (table salt) is iodized and contains flowing agents – it tastes of chemicals and is disgusting IMHO. Sea salt is what chefs use – not the half chemical powdered stuff most people use in their homes. And as Slick said – a good restaurant will never have salt, pepper, or other condiments on the table – the chef prepares food which tastes perfect to begin with (if he follows my rule 1 about tasting)
April 16th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Great list. Agree with everything on it, especially raising kids to have a little wine with their meal. When people grow up where wine is a normal part of meals, they are less likely to abuse it. Asceticism always causes the equal and opposite reaction of indulgence and hedonism. The via media is always the best rule to live by–don’t fall for either of the opposite errors in any question.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am
JF: I noticed the classical music comments…might I suggest you have a mascot for your site (don’t kill me)…Franz Liszt.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am
wow everyone has such strong views on cooking! people in scotland use loads of salt on there food. its so annoying when you send a meal out only to watch the customer layer it with salt – before tasting…
April 16th, 2008 at 9:04 am
How did this topic degenerate into a discussion of disgusting foods like Kraft mac & cheese (and what IS it with Canadians about that crap anyway—and adding KETCHUP to it? Good lord… and while we’re at it…. unless I’m mistaken, I note that a couple Brits complained here about the food suggestions. And again–the old saw about the Brits not knowing a THING about food continues to prove true. Cripes. When the British are being told the right way to deal with, purchase, prepare, and cook food–they should just shut up and listen… *carefully.*)
Now… the wine thing, giving it to kids… I’m proud to say my daughter (who is 13, soon to be 14) has already been gradually introduced to drinking wine… and I’m even prouder to say that she *actually* prefers dry wine to sweet. Damn proud. And I back up Jamie Frater 100% on this–it removes the mystery of alcohol and makes for more responsible drinking. Also, it teaches kids that eating is meant to be a good or great experience (which must therefore include wine) ….not something that comes out of a box or a bag from some godawful fast food place (my daughter, I again proudly add, detests McDonald’s).
Anyway… assuming Jamie agrees to publish it, I’ll have a List on wines ready soon, for those who care about such things.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:08 am
British are generally lazy at cooking but dont tar the scots with the same brush – we have some of the best local produce on offer!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:09 am
trojan – ha ha ha – very clever
April 16th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Randall: a wine list would be excellent. My wife and I want to become more knowledgeable about the subject as it pertains to wine with food options.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Mom: thanks…I can hear the others throwing rotten, insecticide-laced produce at their screens now.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Randall; Its the same as the Emma Peel thing. I can’t help that I like KD. It was imprinted on me too young to do anything about it. We don’t make it very often and we eat it as a small part of the meal. And no I don’t put ketchup on it. I use ketchup to make bbq ribs, and on french fries (only sometimes – I like vinegar or mayo with fries too), and on toasted streaky bacon sandwiches.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:27 am
“and I’m even prouder to say that she *actually* prefers dry wine to sweet. Damn proud.”
And well you should be.
Looking forward to that wine list!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Hahaha! Franz Liszt absolutely has to be the new mascot! Nice trojan!
Randall: A list of wines would be an excellent addition! God, i’ve spent so much time reading these lists but never commenting, this is much more fun… And seeing how jf holds you in such high regard, i’m almost certain it’d get published… Good idea!
I think one of the problems with this site is how subjective it can be, even though i’d love to see another list about the best of the best in film, everyone has a different opinion, so it’s good to see something like this that’s fairly objective! Then again, some people think that you shouldn’t cook with salt, but they’re just idiots
I reckon you could make a list about the most dangerous activities one can do, between me, my brother and my sister, we’ve been scuba diving, run with the bulls, swum with sharks, gone sky diving, bungee jumping and hang gliding, there’s just so much out there for adrenaline junkies it might be cool. Or, you know, not.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Did I just go insane or did a Scottish person defend their cuisine? I thought all Scottish cuisine was based on a dare.
Yeah, let’s grind up anything we find and stuff it into an intestine, boil it for 10 hours and eat it.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Re: herbs. I use cilantro the most, actually. By the handful depending on the dish.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:36 am
bucslim: haha, i saw that too… scottish cuisine is one of life’s oxymorons, but at least they’re trying
April 16th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Randall: Two things -
1) The discussion about boxed mac and chee is my fault. I thought it would be cute and clever to crack a joke about being a very poor cook on a list about cooking. Unfortunately, it backfired and I realized that it was neither cute nor clever. I also realized that canadians love boxed mac and chee.
2) The correct spelling is Kraft Mac n’ Cheeze. Note the distinguished “z” in “cheese,” as well as the abbreviated “and,” because, apparently, us americans are just too damn busy to go around saying “and” all day. If you’re going to denigrate the stuff, at least bother to spell it right. Oh, and you can take your cute little ampersand and shove it right where the sun don’t shine.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Rick:
Me too…. I put it in salads, use it like arugula… basil too. I use cilantro in a ton of stuff… and it’s indispensible for authentic Mexican…
I cannot understand people who hate cilantro… have you met such people? It’s unfathomable to me. How can you not like it? And yet… I’ve known about a dozen people who absolutely detest it! It makes me feel like going, “behold this thing that walks like a man… it hates cilantro! What other oddities can nature produce?”
April 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am
People from Trinidad and Tobago generally love to cook usig alot of seasoning…..best food in the world.
oh and I am not challenging any one to a fight down
April 16th, 2008 at 10:02 am
trojan_man:
The centerpiece of the list will basically *be* about which wines go with which foods… a list of the basic wine types, pairing them with certain kinds of foods… in a very generalized way… so I hope people will find it useful.
If I can just get the damn thing finished….
April 16th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Ketchup, by the way… my most hated of all condiments. Below is one of my favorite answers from the wonderful Straight Dope column, by the most exalted and amazing Cecil Adams (nearest to god in my book, after Henry Miller). I remembered this one after writing my reply to “Rick” above… and I thought, where did I *get* that line that goes, “behold this thing that walks like a man..” And then I remembered. But in case anyone cares… this is the LAST word on how to *properly* dress a hotdog:
Dear Cecil:
I was sitting at the Montreal Pool Room eating my all-dressed hot dog and suddenly the question hit me: why is there no ketchup in an all-dressed? Is ketchup not as respectable a condiment as relish or mustard? Is there a conspiracy? Does Dirty Harry’s remark about ketchup in a hot dog have anything to do with it? I would be so thankful if you could shine a light on this obscure bit of knowledge for a passionate and perplexed user of ketchup. –Paul Macneil, Dorval, Quebec
Cecil replies:
Paul, I know you don’t mean to act like an alfalfa-chewing barbarian, but this is like asking why Leonardo didn’t paint the Mona Lisa on black velvet. Ketchup is destructive of all that is right and just about a properly assembled hot dog (and we’re talking about a pure beef hot dog, not one of those things you could serve with dressing on Thanksgiving).
Ketchup smothers the flavor of the hot dog because ketchup makers add sugar to their products. That takes the edge off the highly acidic tomatoes, but it takes the edge off everything else, too. Which is exactly why a lot of parents like it, according to Mel Plotsky, sales manager for the David Berg hot dog company in Chicago. (Chicago is one of the hot dog’s holy cities.) Put ketchup on it and a kid will swallow anything–and from there it’s a straight shot to Velveeta cheese, Franco-American spaghetti, and Deborah Norville.
For that matter, you want to watch the mustard, too. Plotsky says your mainstream brands like French’s put in too much turmeric and whatnot. What you want is some unpretentious mustard like Plochman’s that enhances rather than competes with the flavor of the beef. You should also steam or grill rather than boil your hot dogs–water leaches away the flavor and softens the wiener till it becomes non-tooth-resistant mush.
But–getting back to the original question–you say you like the taste of tomatoes. Fine, then eat tomatoes, as God meant them to be eaten–fresh sliced and piled on top of the hot dog. The recommended ingredients of a hot dog with everything, in order of application, are mustard, relish, chopped onion, sliced tomato, kosher pickle spear, optional peppers, and celery salt. (Many think you have to get kraut in there too, but Cecil wants a hot dog, not Oktoberfest.)
People get pretty emotional over the ketchup question. Mel Plotsky opened our discussion by describing the condiment as a “catchall of garbage.” Over at crosstown rival Vienna Sausage, they refer to ketchup as the “K-word.” If you go into an authentic hot dog joint and ask for ketchup on your hot dog, the counterman will pause and look you in the eye. He may or may not say, “Ketchup?” with a tone of disbelief. But you may be certain what he’s thinking: “Behold this creature that walks like a man. It wants ketchup on its hot dog.”
But hey, if you want ketchup, by all means get it.
–CECIL ADAMS
April 16th, 2008 at 10:18 am
I hate it when my wiener’s flavor has been leached away and softened to the non-tooth resistant mush stage.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Randall: Well, we love to go to wine tastings in our general area. However, the wine here is probably not of the highest caliber. It would be a good learning experience to see which “good” or “fine” wines are suggested.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:23 am
trojan_man:
What’s your region? I grew up in wine country, though not California… New York… the *other* wine region of the US. (Though of course there’s Oregon too, and a few other minor places… but New York’s been big as a wine producer for a long time). Anyway, living around it most of my life has helped… plus, my family were wine and liquor merchants for a long while.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:23 am
carpe_noctem: “And seeing how jf holds you in such high regard” – alas it is untrue – Randall knows my deepest darkest secrets and is holding me and the site to ransom
April 16th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Mom424: btw, you are so right about the oatmeal (porridge) thing – if you make porridge with no salt, or even just a little, it tastes like dirty water – utterly disgusting. My father (whose parents were Scottish) used to make the best porridge – unfortunately when I have it at cafes for breakfast I almost always have to add a LOT of salt to get it properly flavored (which is not ideal as salt should be added in the cooking process of porridge).
April 16th, 2008 at 10:26 am
jfrater:
That’s right, kiwi-boy… now get back to work!
And I want those shoes to shine so I can see my *reflection* in ‘em next time… or you *know* what’ll happen!
April 16th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I like this list, but I don’t think I could depart with my beloved microwave. Same goes for the George Foreman grill.
I have always wanted to try cooking better food, most of what I make is prepackaged and stuff like that. I can do wonderful things with a package of Ramen (any flavor but the nasty shrimp kind) and some leftovers.
My taste in wine is generally limited to the sweeter stuff. But I’m sure I’d use just about anything for cooking.
Mom mentioned Timmy’s, now I totally want a Café Mocha and some Timbits.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Randall: yes sir master sir!
Oh – and btw, I dislike coriander (cilantro) – not so much that I won’t cook with it because (thankfully) it loses the strongest aspects of its flavor when cooked. I have flatmates who love it so I do use it from time to time. I also love Thai food which, I believe, uses it. So perhaps it is more the smell of it I don’t like.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:32 am
@jfrater
it can be great fun that`s for sure!
If u have spare time and money + some1 of oposite sex to help u with those experiments(talking bout cooking now
And who knows u might create something rly good and and get urself famous xD
April 16th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Miss Destiny: it isn’t too hard to get used to a microwave-free life! you will feel so liberated once you do
Borka: I would love to be famous for producing a great dish – maybe I can come up with a List Universe Salad
April 16th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Speaking of wieners: the only ones I will eat are Sahlen’s. They’re a local thing here in the Buffalo, NY area. I absolutely love them with a little bit of chopped onion, some relish, and ketchup. (Yeah, I said it, ketchup! But only a little bit.) They’re also wonderful in chili-cheese dog form, with some chopped onion. I skip the mustard though, not a big fan unless the mood strikes.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:38 am
jfrater; I know, I swear most people have never had the nutty wonderfulness of properly cooked porridge. We call it that too, but I’ve noticed it as oatmeal in the states.
Randall; you sure you’re not Cecil? you have a similar pithy sense of humor. I’ve been reading his stuff forever. Makes me laugh out loud sometimes. He has quite the pool of experts to draw on. I found his Who wrote the Bible? series facinating. His etymology articles are always good too.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Slickwilly- I am looking at a box of (quote)Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (end quote).
get over yourself
April 16th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Miss Destiny:
You’re from Buffalo! (I’m not, but I know it well, and I live… to the southeast a ways… a good ways, but still in NY). I know Sahlen’s… do you know any rib places on the scary west side of town? I have a friend who has a place there…
April 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Miss Destiny; I have the Forman grill. I only like it for sausage or things that have a sweet marinade. It does not get hot enough to properly brown the meat. Because it gets hot top and bottom, it is cooked through before it is browned. I like meat brown and crunchy on the outside, tender, juicy, on the inside. Not grey all the way through.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Mom:
“Randall; you sure you’re not Cecil?”
ah Mom… if I told you, I’d have to have you silenced. Not pleasant for either of us. Obvious why it would be so for you… and me, I don’t need another life on my conscience.
Thank you for the stunning compliment, however.
And yes, I agree… Cecil is fantastic, the best… deserving of sainthood and statues and whatnot.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Randall: I live outside of the city itself, and I don’t venture there much except for sporting events. I’m not very familiar with the west side, except that it is indeed scary. Most of the dining I do in Buffalo is downtown.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:00 am
islanderbst: I most certainly will *not* get over myself. I always have and always will exercise my god-given and constitutionally protected right to act like god’s gift to the world. And you can take your phony-baloney “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese” and park it, because everyone who is anyone (read: me) knows that “Mac ‘n Cheeze” is the correct phonetic spelling.
“If mom wants to pleaze me, she’s only got to cheeze me.” – Kid #1, Kraft Mac’n Cheeze commercial.
Suck on justice.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:14 am
A very good list.
However, I use my microwave as and when it’s convenient; and as for fresh herbs…preferable, but I happily use dried (except coriander and mint);
Also, I think there is a lot of snobbery about salt; interestingly, a friend of mine is a Savoy-trained chef, and tells me that – taste considerations aside – using salt when cooking in water is also about temperature (it raises the boiling point);
Organic ? good produce is good produce irrespective of whether it is organically grown. In the UK at least, the organic movement is largely a crock. And, personally, I care not a fig whether the produce is locally produced.
Hmmm..I guess I’m a plebian…but nobody complains about my cooking
A couple of additional points…
I think it was Bourdain who made the point that (generally speaking) the difference between a professional’s dish and an amateur’s is the stock (as bucslim touched upon).
No mention of spices?
April 16th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Ah. now I realize. Mac’n Cheeze is what the shortbus kids eat.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:15 am
The only reason I keep a Microwave around is for popcorn and heating up hot drinks fast, other than that I wouldn’t mind getting rid of it.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:17 am
#12: Have (and correctly use!) the right knife for the job. Chopping is different from slicing and frenching, and how an item is cut will have an effect on how it is cooked, as well as help in presentation. Proper preperation produces pefection, or something like that. Great list!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:21 am
I’ll have to bookmark these and the other cooking lists. I’m lucky I can properly boil water…
April 16th, 2008 at 11:22 am
“I just bought 50 packets of vege seeds today”
jfrater – LOL good God man !! What did you buy ? I do exactly the opposite and buy my seeds in NZ to bring back to the UK !!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:23 am
“I’m lucky I can properly boil water…”
Phillies – so buy it ready-boiled
April 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Curse you, islander. Curse you.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Randall: I live in the southeast. I know, I know, the wine here is two steps up from fermented MadDog, but we do have some good tastings. Mostly in the foothills in north Georgia.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I used to know how to cook, thanks to this list I’ll get right back at ‘er.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Jamie, Randall, Kiwi, Slick,Buc, Myst Etc; Y’all can wander over to the forums and have a look at my awe inspiring gardens. There is a bonus too. You can see what little and mouthy looks like. And not even a good shot.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Do the veg plants grow counter clockwise in NZ?
April 16th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I really wish I could cook well…I just don’t have the patience. But these are simple things even I can do!! Thanks
I always love your cooking lists (well ok I love them all but cooking ones give me good tips)
April 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Mom424: Quite a green thumb you got there. Absolutely gorgeous. A bit wild and unbridled but I like that in a wo…garden. The “garden of weeden” sign is a nice touch. Not a bad picture of LV’s resident mom, either.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Not very good either, I avoid pics as often as possible. Half lying down,no bra, boobs disappearing into armpits, no make up, no hair-do, in bed at a crappy hotel. Not my best angle.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Mom – cool photos. Love the garden.
And, it’s weird, but you kinda looked like I imagined you would.
Whattaya doing Saturday nite
April 16th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
#10: HEY! I MAKE AN AWESOME MICROWAVED PORK CHOP, all juicy and pinkish, Nummies.
Wine, salt, butter, Are you sure you’re not french? Not that there would be anything Wrong with that. Good food, Incredible egos.
Most of the actual Food at home Is of my design, And I can agree with most of this list. Being in a relationship with a baker has it’s benefits. There’s never a shortage of Bread, and I make a tasty Sandwich, Pepper onion bun, Smoked salmon, alfalfa sprouts, sweet Vidalia vinagrette… tomatoes and lettuce optional. Great I made myself hungry.
Listverser=Foodie.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Lovely list, microwaves should be banned!
I don’t usually meet guys who like cooking, but I always find that men who love to cook hate to do the washing up ^_^
Leaving it to the women…
April 16th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
kiwiboi: Back the fuck up…that’s my kool-aid.
Mom424: If that is what you consider a bad pic, I’d be very interested to see what you would call a good pic. As for me, I’m not very photogenic, so I typically avoid cameras like the plague. I’m extremely tall and very broad, so I dwarf just about everyone I’m in a picture with. Not very aesthetically pleasing. The only time I get away with it is pictures of me on stage when I’m not near anyone else, so the vast majority of my facebook pics are band photos.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Mom:
Lovely gardens… admirable work… I lost my energy for gardening a few years back… I should return to it.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Mom: Nice bush. Like the easel.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
MichyMoonshine: Dishes are Gods way of keeping your gluttony to a minimum. I cooked, You can clean.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
“the vast majority of my facebook pics are band photos”
Slick – what instrument ?
April 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
bucslim: they do – producing lush flavoursome nuclear free produce
Crimanon: definitely not French – I just appreciate that food is their greatest contribution to man
MichyMoonshine: you just described me to a ‘t’
I despise washing up and don’t do it
April 16th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Kiwiboi: theremin.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
jfrater – LOL
April 16th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
jfrater/kiwiboi: You laugh, but I’ve actually played one…on stage, no less. My primary instrument is bass.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
slickwilly: seriously? I am actually envious! I really want a theremin!
April 16th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Slick:
You’ve PLAYED a theremin? Now see.. *that* is cool. (still, that was a good one, Jamie).
Who the hell OWNS a theremin? I want one. Just so I can scare my neighbors.
I play guitar by the way… proud owner of a vintage Gretsch, actually…
April 16th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
This is STILL my favorite theremin performance:
April 16th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
“You laugh”
Slick – that’s cause you must be the cool guy in the theremin photo on wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theremin
April 16th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Crimanon/jfrater: I just described why I hate men in a “t”
You’ll never catch me cleaning up after what someone cremated
I mean, cooked…
April 16th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Slick – bass is my main instrument too
Though I have around 12 or so “ordinary” guitars too (don’t remind my wife; they are all over the house)
April 16th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Randall – a vintage Gretch. That’s waaay cool. Lemme guess – a cream colored one ?
April 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Do you Kiwis like Jermaine and Brett? What about Murray? Do you think Mom could be a part time model?
April 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
“Mom: Nice bush”
Crimanon – now that is plain bad
April 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
bucslim – I’ve never seen Flight of the Conchords! I should d/l some and take a peek
April 16th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Michy: Personally Offended that you think that I would Burn food. I’ve got a Y chromosome, so what, that isn’t Directly related to ruining a good meal. I’ve met more Women in my life time that can’t cook. XX, A confirmation that water Can Indeed Burn. Not very fair is it?
Jamie: What the Hell was that???? Theremin… I’ve got to see this.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Mom424: I hope you are ready for the onslaught of emails you are going to be getting when I get back to NZ – I need a direct line to a green thumb and you are IT!
I hate Flight of the conchords and simply cannot understand their popularity.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
kiwiboi:
nope, not cream colored… cherry wood stained… fairly dark. It’s a 1965 Tennessean, with Chet Atkin’s signature on the pick guard, and a Bigsby whammy bar… I bought it 25 years ago, off a guy in this awful heavy metal band, but he’d been the guitar player for the Dictators, one of the original NYC punk bands in the mid-seventies… so this thing has been played at CBGB’s… and by god knows who.
She’s a beauty… not easy to play though.. thick neck. (I have relatively short fingers).
What do you have? I love Fenders… always wanted a vintage Rickenbacker 12 string too. Though i heard that actually, the machinery on them—tuning heads and so forth–were kinda crap. Still, super cool.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
best list in weeks
April 16th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
kiwiboi: Very cool.
Always great to meet a fellow four-stringer. I’ve fiddled around with guitar, but it just doesn’t do it for me. I’m much more comfortable on a large instrument like bass (I play a 6-string, Yamaha TRBJP to be specific, with the WIDE string spacing), partly because my hands are so big. What kind of bass do you play?
And yes, I have played a theremin. It was for a this kooky, avant garde fusion project I was involved with for a short time. They are surprisingly difficult to play. You have to be very precise with your hand movements to get it to do what you want it to do. I wasn’t very *good* at it, but it was great for this sort of atmospheric soundscape piece we were doing.
bucslim: I *love* Flight of the Conchords. One of my favorite running gags is how everyone assumes they are british because of their accents.
Randall: What?!! The Great Randall actually…*gulp*…complimented me? Should I kneel and genuflect? Or do you just want money again?
Seriously though, love those Gretschs. Fabulous tone. Semi-hollow body, I assume?
MichyMoonshine: In our household growing up, it was customary that whoever didn’t cook has to clean. Otherwise, you make the cook do everything, and the cook might not be so inclined to cook again in the future. As far as I’m concerned, if you didn’t cook you should at least offer to help clean up. Otherwise, it’s kind of rude. Of course, the cook should clean as he or she goes as best they can, so they don’t just leave the kitchen a filthy stinking mess.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Randall – I’m a Fender guy. I have a pinkish 71 Precision bass, a white strat, and assorted others (about 16 in all).
Currently I’m looking for a Lowden electro-acoustic.
I’m a leftie
BTW…that Gretch sounds cool. I love rockabilly, but the ony time I played a Gretch (upside down) it just wasn’t me. But I’d love to own one!
Rickenbackers ? Oh yeah! I never played one, but I looove The Jam!
April 16th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
kiwiboi:
Cool collection, man…. I’d love a vintage Fender…
don’t know Lowden, off the top of my head…
The Gretsch is a beauty. I’m proud of her.
LOVE the Jam, man! One of the greatest groups ever…
April 16th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Here’s some of my guitars :
http://www.kiwicool.com/guitars.htm
..and a guitar-related page I put up a coupla years ago for a young Aussie guy who was starting out on guitar :
http://www.kiwicool.com/music.htm
April 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Slick:
Semi-hollow with the painted-on F holes, yeah.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Crimanon/Slick: I see what you mean, but I’m always made to clean, no matter who cooks
16 year old girl is not equal to slave
But I’m the only one who cleans 0_o
And it generally is a stinking, greasy, not to mentioned burnt-on-pan mess…
Why is everyone suddenly talking about guitars?
I play grade five….on an unknown brand!
(Fake LesPaul)
April 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“I’d love a vintage Fender…”
Hmmm…I bought a white 1965 telecaster for $150 when I was a young ‘un. But it was a right-hander and I had trouble with the cutaway (or, lack thereof, being a leftie).
So, being the investment guru that I am, I traded it “up” for a brand new sunburst Ibanez Les Paul copy. They gave me $120 for the Tele as part of the deal.
Believe me, it hurts all over again just typing this story out. I saw onr of those Teles go for $11,000 last year…
April 16th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
“I play grade five….on an unknown brand!”
Michy – good for you. Keep it up!!
April 16th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
A couple more tips is to have the proper tools and equipment(sharp knives well seasoned pans) and you must have patience. You do not want to rush through anything. I have to disagree about having the microwave I never use it to cook meats. But it makes it convient to heat up water and steam veggies.
April 16th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
My trick is to not let my girlfriend anywhere near the kitchen, still trying to get the smell out of the draw under the bench, she spilt cream while trying to whip it, which proceeded to seep through a crack in the wodd leaving rancid creamsycles on the underneath of the bench and a pool of the stuff in the draw underneath, this happened 4 months ago and it stills seeping through.
April 16th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Nice, I like to cook a lot of Italian so the tips on making the water salty like the sea will really help. Really could have used the tip “Always have the necessary utensils such as knifes(sharp ones) and other important cooking utensils.”
April 16th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
kiwiboi: Oy…the guitar player from one of my old bands had a late 60’s telecaster and sold it a couple of years ago for several grand. You’ve been had.
As far as basses go, I was never a big fan of the Precision. Without a graphic eq, they have a very muddled high end. I like the Jazzes better. More definition. I’ve actually been meaning to acquire a Fender Jazz recently, but I already have a pretty badass 4-string (Stingray) when I’m not playing my 6er and I’m reluctant to drop the money. The slap tones on the Js just make me drool, though.
On a side-note: left-handed instruments always send me for a loop.
April 16th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“I was never a big fan of the Precision. Without a graphic eq, they have a very muddled high end. I like the Jazzes better. More definition.”
Slick – I have absolutely no problem with Precisions; and never experienced any muddiness in the sound (always used a 200W Traynor head through a quad). Also, I’m not a big fan of Jazz basses, because I find the neck too narrow. One of my friends from way back was a Jazz freak though, and got a real nice sound out of his one.
Horses for courses, I guess…
April 16th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
“don’t know Lowden, off the top of my head…”
Randall – they are handmade in Northern Ireland. Cost around the same as a new Martin. I played one (electro-acoustic cutaway) 8 years ago here in London and have to say it was the singlemost best guitar I have *ever* played (and, believe me, I’ve tried ‘em all). It was $3,000, and instead of merely laying down the cash and cuddling that baby all the way home I decided to “think it over”.
Aaarghghghgh….I went into the store the next week to have another play and it was gone! And none of the other Lowdens they had, even the same model, came close!
Stay away from me…I’m a jinx; even to myself
April 16th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
jfrater:
The French use olive oil a lot too (not soo much as we spaniards or italians, but much more than northern europeans), as do the Portuguese, so using butter for everything is far from being and European standard.
For a nice surprice you could try to use olive oil for any fried thing, not only for snacks or salads, altought I can understand that it can be very expensive on some countries to be used for that purpose. I also generally consider it better than butter for seasoning roasts.
Sometimes I like to fry the eggs with sunflower oil because its softer flavour preserves better the eggs one than the olive oil or butter.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
juanjux: I use olive oil when it suits the meal – don’t get me wrong
However, I totally disagree with you on the eggs comment
I think that butter adds to the flavor of egg – it doesn’t take it away, it adds that nice buttery nuttiness – sunflower oil is too milk to have any effect.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Precisely jfrater, when the eggs are stunningly good (read: from my grandmother town directly from the back :> of a very happy and almost free hen, not from one of those horrible “egg factories”) I don’t want to add of substract any from the flavour so I use sunflower oil. When the goods are the average (bad) supermarket ones I use olive oil.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I have to agree with filipinoknight.
An absolute essential to good cooking is the proper equipment. At the very LEAST, a good set of pans, and a good set of knives. Sure, it can be a hefty investment, but you’ll literally be eating off them for years.
And don’t forget to pick up a nice set of cutlery. Why spend a lot of effort creating the perfect meal, and then consume it off cutlery made from pressed sheet metal? Get something that feels hefty and substantial in your hand.
As far as guitars go, I have a custom-made 8-string bass. Not 8 wide, but doubled, with 4 pairs of strings, each pair octaved, like a 12-string guitar. It’s inlaid on the neck and body with abalone and mother-of-pearl. It sounds FAT.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I was already hungry before reading this! Now I’m REALLY hungry! lol
April 16th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Perhaps I missed it, but KNIFE SKILLS. Being able to cut/chop fast with safety and precision adds a whole new dimension to your skills. And always use a sharp knife.
April 16th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Macaroni and cheese are a weekly staple in the southeastern US. However, not the boxed, Kraft type. My Mom always made it using good grade pasta (yes, with more than a “pinch” of salt added), good, sharp cheddar cheese, a bit of finely chopped jalapeno (or other spicy type) peppers, and some freshly ground black pepper. She also added a bit of milk, butter, and God only knows what else – it was always delicious (always baked in the oven, never stovetop and certainly NEVER microwave cooked). From time to time she would do strange things like put small shrimp or bits of ham or chorizo in it.
Reference the microwave issue – one of my friends said the microwave is great for popcorn and leftovers. I disagree. Popcorn is wonderful on the stove in a nice pot with real oil (olive is great, but watch the burn/temp), and leftovers are sooooo much better in the oven – think of leftover spaghetti casserole baked with wonderful fresh cheese over the top…mmmmm)
First time here posting, nice site, I like it!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Savannah GIJoe: I live in Savannah! Did you just get back? Thank you for your service. And, I frickin’ love some mac and cheese!!!
Welcome to Listverse!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Fun facts about the palate! -
When I was in high school, I took a taste test with a specialist because I was a dramatically picky eater. (My doctor had been asked by this specialist to recommend kids for this study on super-tasters he was doing, so I got this for free. Its not like my mom was going, “she hates spinach! to the specialist!) Anyway, part of this test is drinking a chemical that tasted horribly bitter to super-tasters, mildly unpleasant to tasters, and basically like nothing to non-tasters. So high amounts of grease, spicy flavors, and basically every veggie tastes bad to a super-taster. In addition, there is a low tolerance for sweetness. I ended up in the “this chemical tastes horrific catagory,” so presumably this explains why I never developed a taste for veggies the way most adults do. I can eat lettuce, carrots, and anomalously… onions. Basically, I stick to the foods I like. A fairly short list. Decent beer tastes like a bitter mess to me. I can’t even drink all crap beers, Bud Lite or Coors because of an extreme bitter aftertaste. Yay for the watery and inoffensive Miller Lite! What tastes mild and incredibly flavorful to me can taste just plain bland to others.
Another symptom of this supertasting thing is that it actually makes it harder for me to taste supposedly “good” food. It is easy for my tastebuds to be overwhelmed.
25% of Americans are projected to be supertasters, according to an article I read recently. Half are tasters, and the other 25% are nontasters.
So the point of my long post is… (and this is not a commentary on the list, the list is great. aside from the fact that you will pry my microwave out of my cold, dead hands). Everyone has a different palate. Perhaps it would be nice if we could be a little more accepting of each others’ preferences.
The good news is, your tastebuds begin to die and become less “effective” so to speak as you get older. This is why kids who hate spinach often learn to love it when they are older. The older I get, the more buffalo wings I’ll be able to consume without freaking out and eating ten pieces of bread. And I’ll be able to take a bite of cooked spinach without someone offering me 20 bucks to do so. blech.
And Velveeta is delicious *runs away before Randall can slap her.*
April 16th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I seriously don’t agree about the microwave being a bad piece of equipment. The microwave should rarely be used to cook alone, but in unison with another heat source.
Using a microwave to cook food increases the range of textures and flavours that a meal can have at the end. Microwaving of eggs allows you to make a very fluffy and light scrambled egg, which something that frying cannot achieve. Microwaving of fish allows you to effectively cook it all, and then fry it to crisp the outside without drying it out. Microwaving of metal allows you to make a cool light-and-sound show that the kids’ll love. Ovens can’t claim that. There’s a heap of reasons to keep a microwave around, but downplay it’s importance.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Jono: You need lessons on cooking eggs… and fish… and never mind you need lessons. Eggs, to me at least are super easy, And I do know the Micro-fried egg trick. My GFs (ugh) mother Makes the best fish in the world. Try buying it fresh, Not frozen, and not cooking for so long.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Invest in the best set of knives and cookware you can afford. It DOES make a difference!
April 16th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I also pretty much despise ketchup about the only thing I use it on is potatoes, like french fries and fried potatoes. other than that I do not use ketchup at all.
And I have never understood how ketchup and scrambled eggs can be considered good by anyone with working taste buds…….YUCK
My favorite spice is garlic……the more the better!!!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
I don’t agree 5 and 4.
Ask an italian for the salt when boiling pasta…
And, much much much beter than butter is the olive oil.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Salchichon: an excellent blog post about the correct Italian way to make pasta: http://reallyrome.com/blog/2007/10/05/what-italians-have-taught-me-about-pasta/
It involves lots of salt and no oil in the water.
As for the butter/olive oil thing – there is a time and place for both – I am not saying you only use butter – I am saying that you should use butter much more liberally than people usually do. I always use olive oil if I am doing Italian style meals.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:41 am
Crimanon:
My point was sorely missed by you. I never said anywhere that I preferred microwaved eggs or fish to alternate methods. I prefer scrambled eggs made in a frying pan. I simply said that you CAN make it in the microwave and have a different texture. I can guarantee you that my eggs, will be superior to yours anyway. I have cooked more eggs in the last 3 months than you’ve probably had in 3 years. Every day, at least 6 eggs. Sometimes 9, hundreds of ways. So please, just because you’re a traditionalist to the core, doesn’t make you a better cook at all.
Plus, I always buy fresh fish. Hell, I even catch it myself too. That’s what the Waitemata is for. Searing fish is also a simple technique, but if you opened your mind to trying something different, you’d see the advantages of two different kinds of heat to produce the final result.
Think before you slander.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:44 am
Kiwiboi (no 137) “Slick – that’s cause you must be the cool guy in the theremin photo on wikipedia”. The caption names him as Leon Theremin, whose life story must be worth a ListVerse entry sometime, along with Walter/Wendy Carlos.
Slick_Willy: You should invent a funky new musical instrument and name it after yourself, so you can play with your willy on stage!!!!
jfrater: how about list of musical instruments named after people: Saxe, Sousa, Theremin, Moog, Heckel.
All of this is off-topic. My fiancee is a keen cook, and I’ve basically been shut out.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:56 am
“I think children should be given wine with dinner from a very young age anyway”……?????
April 17th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Jono; fish does cook well in the microwave, at least in some instances. Roll a whitefish fillet around some seasoned crab (real crab meat please – not the ground up pollock substitue – sea legs)dip in egg, coat with cornflake crumbs, microwave on high till cooked. Very good.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I wish I could throw away my microwave–but I don’t have a kitchen. All I have is a microwave and a toaster oven. I’m waiting for the day I chuck my microwave out of the window…
April 17th, 2008 at 5:48 am
longball: read the comments above – it is discussed there
April 17th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Sanchichon:
Italians DO USE a lot of salt on the water of the paste. At least in the north (cooking style of Italians varies a little from region to region.) I know because my wife is Italian
You’ve to add about a fist of rock salt (or cooking salt, “sal gorda” in spanish, doesn’t know the correct term in english) just after the water starts boiling.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:49 am
why do you give wine to children at a a very young age?
April 17th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Thanks alot for the list. I’ve been wanting to start cooking for sometime, and now that I know some good tips to start out with, I think my journey through the world of culinary arts will be smooth!
April 17th, 2008 at 7:42 am
“why do you give wine to children at a very young age?”
codman – it makes them tired, and easier to control
April 17th, 2008 at 7:51 am
jfrater: I agree with the salt and not having any on the table. There’s no bigger insult to the chef than to not only feel the need to add salt/pepper to the dish but to do so *before* one has even tasted it. Of course, at the chain restaurant around the corner I think it’s okay.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:00 am
“I agree with the salt and not having any on the table. There’s no bigger insult to the chef than to not only feel the need to add salt/pepper to the dish but to do so *before* one has even tasted it.”
Actually, I’m not bothered at all about whether or not it insults the chef. If I am eating in a restaurant and I want salt, then I expect it to be provided – whatever the view of the chef.
I agree, though, that it would be silly to put salt/pepper or whatever on your food before you have even tasted it.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:16 am
astraya: Sooo…you’re saying…I should invent an instrument…that is played with one’s penis…and name it after myself? o_O
Or are you just suggesting that I invent an instrument, name it after myself…and then jerk off in front of a crowd?
April 17th, 2008 at 8:35 am
189. SlickWilly
I may have read this out of context (somehow), so forgive me, but…WHAAAAA?
April 17th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Slick:
The phallicphone.
The willywarbler
The fleschl-horn
The manroot-o-phone
The penicolo
The stringed wang
The organ organ
so many possibilities.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:00 am
SlickWilly; geez thanks. Takes performance anxiety to a whole new level. I just can’t get that picture out of my head. Do your giant hands make your parts look smaller? or are you in proportion? I may as well have it right if I can’t stop thinking about it.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Randall: Haha! I like “willywarbler” and “fleshl-horn” but maybe you could shed some light on the logistics of playing a wind instrument with one’s privates. The organ organ has potential too.
I’d imagine that a vibraphone of some sort would make the most sense; of course, that would leave my willy spongy and bruised, you know, constantly smacking it against the tiles. A keyboard type instrument might also work, but I’m afraid, all joking aside, that I wouldn’t be able to hit one note at a time. Like an obese man trying to use a cellular phone, I would just mash a note and all the notes around it.
Mom424: Hahaha…performance anxiety. Score one for mom. As long as you’ve got the picture in your head, *well* in proportion.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:17 am
“…maybe you could shed some light on the logistics of playing a wind instrument with one’s privates.”
I dunno, Slick… I don’t swing that way.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am
You forgot the skin flute, cocksichord, meat whistle, testical tuba and my favorite, tubular balls.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:05 am
buc:
brilliant! “skin flute” is an old one… but “cocksichord” is inspired.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:13 am
You forgot the blowboe.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Franz Liszt’s Cocksichord Concerto
April 17th, 2008 at 10:24 am
The microwave only comes in handy when I need melted butter pronto. I would want to grow my own herbs, but I am a plant-killer.
And I like to fry my eggs in bacon grease! For those who are not health-conscious, the use of animal fats (eg lard, duck fat) is also an easy way to improve your cooking
By the way, I love this list!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Back to the topic,
I’ve read some folks who state that I’m insulting the chef at a fine dining establishment by applying a measure of salt and pepper to a dish that they’ve prepared.
Look, that’s just plain and simple snobbery. The chef should be blowing me for coming into his restaurant. I think we’ll all nod in agreement that some hillbilly slathering his filet mignon in A-1 is a travesty and he should be tossed from the restaurant by his rope-belt. But pray tell me, why is Jethro in said establishment when Bubba’s bar-b-que is just down the street?
Ok these chefs know what they’re doing, but it’s my food goddamnit and if I want to toss some salt grains on the entree they’re charging me 80 bucks for, I’ll do it. If I want some extra parmesan, they’d better whip out that Buford Pusser sized grater and get to work! If Jacque gets testy with me I’ll slice him with my butter knife and throw some salt on HIS loins. Besides, what’s the chef doing out in the dining area watching me eat? Shouldn’t he be back in the kitchen chopping something?
April 17th, 2008 at 10:33 am
skipps; got my vote on the bacon fat thing. And lard for frying potatoes is superior. I save bacon fat for making fried rice. It improves it immeasurably.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:36 am
buc:
100% correct. No REAL chef gives a damn if you add a little salt and pepper to his precious dishes; the idea is that you enjoy your food–not that you genuflect to his culinary greatness.
Such asshole chefs who DO act that way are the reason why “nouveau cuisine” and other such culinary idiocies only have a brief stay in the limelight.
It’s taste and quality, morons. It’s not about “presentation” and some chef’s inflated ego.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Mom – pork fat rules – bacon fat is the bomb.
After I fry up the bacon I run that stuff through a papertowel and put it in the freezer.
Nectar of the gods. . . .
April 17th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Hmm, bacon grease. Reminds me of one of my favorite meals. Beef liver breaded with flour and seasonings fried in bacon grease with mushrooms and onions… Haven’t had it in such a long time!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am
JF you should do a top 5 recipe list. make them easy ones. i know my hubby would love it if i cooked like i used to… but after haveing our second son 2 weeks ago i havent cooked anything but hamburger helper. so help a wife out and post some easy recipies that would be nice and fast so i can do them in between feeding the baby and changeing diapers!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:52 am
bucslim; I have a jar of strained bacon fat in the door of my freezer as we speak. MMM
AlyshiaH; there are some easy recipes over on the 10 Tips for home cookin’ list. Chops, stuffed peppers etc…
April 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I totally agree with the suggestion of reading a recipe a couple of times before starting. There is always something to be missed; worst case scenario, you do not have an ingredient that you need. Yikes!!
Also, ingredients to be added, their timing, sequence etc is also hugely important.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I never knew salt could inspire so much hatred in people.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:32 am
“…he should be tossed from the restaurant by his rope-belt. But pray tell me, why is Jethro in said establishment when Bubba’s bar-b-que is just down the street?”
bucslim – ROFLMAO
That’s so funny.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:45 am
kiwi – the Jethro comment got you going but cocksichord didn’t?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am
bucslim – heh…damn right
April 17th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Great list! Following your advice would help anyone. I threw away my microwave 10 years ago, decided I needed the counter space more. Water boils fast. Food taste 150% better reheated in the oven than in a microwave. And finally there is no reason to reheat coffee! Also, you will never see anything but butter in my frig. If calories are a worry you just use less.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Okay, so I know it’s been said in many ways many times above, but my 2 shiny red coins-worth:
1. Microwaves are a good thing – I cook with mine almost every night. Works great for thawing frozen meat, yes; also use for cooking vege’s and heating tortillas-n-cheese for wraps, etc.
2. There IS such a thing as too much salt – why risk hypertension when all you need is flavor enhancement? Try just a tbsp of salt in that pasta water, and when you REALLY want a salty/acidic flavor, add some worcestershire and/or vinegar instead of piling on the NaCl.
3. Olive oil is my friend of friends… butter is for toast and for toasting bread in the skillet (kids love grilled cheese and tuna melts). I stay away from margarine 98% of the time.
4. Wine? I use it on occasion. As for kids getting a sip or two, I’m for it – we were raised that way, and have never had a problem with alcohol… in fact, we were LESS likely to get drunk and stupid once we left home for college than our friends who were forbidden alcohol (they hit keggars, we played games!).
5. By the way… you can make a seriously tasty meal with dried and frozen ingredients, including herbs/spices – fresh is great but not ‘must have’ – though I use fresh when readily available (don’t make special trips to the store for them though).
Okay, diving off my pulpit and heading back to work. Overall, good common-sensical top-10 here.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Well, I was raised with wine and alcohol and I still became a raging alcoholic by the age of 15. True hard core alcoholism transcends upbringing and education.
I haven’t had a drink in 16 years and using alcohol to cook is out of the question for me – about as close as I can go is vanilla extract in baked goods since it’s dispersed so widely and overwhelmed by other flavors.
For those who care, here are the rates at which alcohol actually cooks out of food from the Agricultural Research Service of the United States Department of Agriculture:
Alcohol remaining after preparation:
100% Immediate consumption
70% Overnight storage
85% Boiling liquid, remove from heat
75% flamed
Alcohol remaining: baked or simmered:
40% 15 min.
35% 30 min.
25% 1 hour
20% 1.5 hour
10% 2 hours
5% 2.5 hours
People who take medications that interact with alcohol should be aware at what level it’s safe for them to eat foods cooked with alcohol. People who are recovering alcoholics or who have allergies to alcohol should be very aware that the sherry in the bisque they are about to eat may not be non-alcoholic. It doesn’t take much for an addict or someone allergic to alcohol to react to it.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
OK, why would I want to cook from scratch?
April 17th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Christy: so you and your family don’t have to eat chemical filled crap all the time? Just a thought
April 17th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Christy: Because it’s fun, rewarding, delicious, spiritually enriching, self-esteem boosting, and it’s what grown-ups do.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
As for me Christy, there’s some reason why what I cook is more delicious and satisfying, I haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I’m going to go home tonight and cook something else and ponder it.
Don’t get me wrong, I like pot pies, sour cream and onion chips by the truckload and soup from a can. But pulling out bread from the oven that I kneaded with my own hands and smelling that insanity inducing odor is something everyone should experience frequently. Homemade chicken soup or chili on a cold day is like a warm blankie. Frozen pie is ok, but if I make that crust myself and toss in fruit that I grew, the flavor is incomparable. I have yet to eat mashed potatoes in a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter that are better than what I do at home, hell even my Mom said my spuds were better than hers. I’m like a damn kid at Christmas time waiting for the ribs to be done smoking on the grill. My kids tell me the pizza I make is ten times better than any delivery.
Yeah it takes time, practice and an adventurous spirit, but it’s all worth it. Trust me, you’ll be happier. There’s nothing like eating something you can cook well.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
@ MichyMoonshine:I don’t think it’s a “men” thing, I pretty much live by the rule of “I cooked, you clean.” Of course I did learn that rule from my father….
Also, in response to all who mentioned “Good sharp knives,” I’ve got those, I know how to take care of them, but I don’t always know how to USE them. I have a real nice knife set, but usually only use the chef knife, and the serrated knife, and then I use the low-ish quality, dull knife for slicing cheeses. Maybe a list, or just a forum post about different commonly used knives & their most common usage(s)?
Also, JF, I smell a list idea in your comments on the microwave…Jamie’s top 10 Forty-minute meals?
April 17th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Christy: I know what you’re saying. I don’t find cooking meals from scratch fun or rewarding! I cook to feed my family and it fits in somewhere between all the other things I need to do to take care of everyone. If it means the use of a microwave, ingredients from a packet etc to make my life a little easier, then so be it
April 17th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Time zone differences have meant I’ve been asleep for the last bit.
Sorry for wandering off the topic with what now seems a rather limp joke, but I seem to have inspired some silliness.
We need to decide: Is the “willy” a percussion instrument, which you beat, or a wind instrument, which someone blows for you?
*Must get back on topic.*
I am used to cereal for breakfast. I was on a school camp earlier this week, and had to eat rice, kimchi and seaweed soup (cooked for 500 people) for breakfast, and this morning my fiancee made me kimbap (from scratch). Breakfast just isn’t breakfast without cereal.
That’s not about cooking, but at least it’s about food.
(BTW kimchi = pickled cabbage, kimbap = rice and vegetables wrapped in sheets of seaweed, similar to sushi)
April 17th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
astraya; ROFLMAO – limp joke – hahaha
I keep coming back to something along the lines of a kazoo. Blow all you like, best you’re gonna get is a humm.
As a side note, I think I would like kimbap; I like some sushi and sashimi – the kind not made with fish guts or roe. I do like the semi-pickled thin sliced sashimi, and even good pickled herring.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:46 am
Mom424 – Thanks. I need some appreciation after an exceptionally lacklustre day. Kimbap is plainer than most sushi. If you live near a Korean community, they ought to have it there somewhere.
April 18th, 2008 at 5:36 am
I love kimbap. I befreinded a Korean family going to school here for a year. They made me kimbap and kimchi. Both of those are wonderful.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Hmmmm I’d take that bet. Using a new cooking device mearly calls for new approaches to cooking.
Steamed vegitables & seafood IMHO(WIR) is just as good as using a stand alone steamer. Homemade popcorn (1/4 corn placed in brown lunch back and closed with 2 staples) is better and far healthier then the stove top method.
I suspect a lot of people said the same thing when they came out with a new fangled device called the eletric stove.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:23 am
VikingBerserker: I would also suggest you throw away the electric stove. Cooking on fire is far better (gas stove).
April 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am
astraya: Well, honestly, I have no desire to forcefully beat my willy against anything, and I doubt I have the skills to play a wind instrument with it. I cannot expel air from my willy, nor does it have a joint in it so I could work the buttons. No, I think the best solution all around would be to play some sort of velvet-cushioned keyboard…with wide keys.
Mom424: There is a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not going to touch it. On a side note, if someone else were blowing on my willy I might be inclined to sing. Otherwise, see my above comment to astraya.
People, this is getting out of hand….ba-zing.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Slick; Hahaha
I actually can’t believe I wrote that comment, or posted a picture of myself. In my own defense, I have had the flu (actual influenza; fever, chills, inflamed joints, headache, and a surfeit of lung snot)since last Sunday. I’m not entirely sure if it is the fever or the medication that is responsible for my unguarded behavior.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Mom424: Hahaha…sure, okay, whatever helps you sleep at night. Just try not to let this whole episode give you nightmares.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Rest assured that your picture will not be used for immoral purposes. By me, at least, I can’t speak for any of the other weirdos on this site.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
SlickWilly; Anyone so desperate to use my pic for immoral purposes deserves our pity. With all the porn out there, free for perusal, chances that anyone would find a 46 year old with saggy little boobs worth the effort. Specially one with as much baggage as I have. A hubby and 4 sons tends to dampen interest.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Mom: Indeed. Far be it for me to comment on someone else’s looks though. I think you look great for 46. Must be the temperate Canadian climate.
April 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
nah; its genetics, not clean living. My grandmother died at 94, my great grandma at 101. Neither had gray hair or wrinkles till their late 60’s early 70’s. My mom is wrinkled but she drinks to excess. Sucks the moisture right outta ya.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
SlickWilly “On a side note, if someone else were blowing on my willy I might be inclined to sing.”
What’s better than a dozen roses on your piano? Tulips (two lips) on your organ!
*Must get back on topic*
*Must get back on topic*
*Must get back on topic*
*Must get back on topic*
April 18th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
JF, u become more sexier to me……
April 19th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Holy shit, i certainly missed out on this conversation…
April 19th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Mom:
Count yourself oh so lucky. Me… dad died at 42… mom died at 57.
We don’t age, in my family… we have short shelf lives. And when we go, we look like we were picked fresh just yesterday.
April 20th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Randall; My mom is going to overcome her genetic predisposition through poor life choices. She is on the wane. Has already had one major stroke and we’re pretty sure a couple of minor ones. She drinks to excess, as a direct consequence doesn’t eat enough good food, smokes to excess and does not exercise. She weighs about 2 pounds. Ripe for the next flu bug or whatever to whisk her away.
The reverse is also true; don’t be like my uncle (married into family), his dad, uncle, grandpa, all died of stomach/colon cancer. So what does he do when he starts feeling poorly? starts losing weight? He ignores it. Accepted it as fate instead of being pro-active. Don’t do that. K?
April 20th, 2008 at 11:26 am
astraya: Hahaha!…You just can’t leave it alone can you?
April 21st, 2008 at 5:30 am
Mom:
I try not to just accept it as fate… kind of hard, to be honest with you… but I try.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:05 pm
From today’s “Sydney Morning Herald” (edited)
Top five food safety myths
Andrew Stephens corrects some common culinary misconceptions.
The three-second rule
If you drop food on the floor, pick it up within three seconds or so and it will be fine to eat. Wrong. Even a nanosecond is enough for food to have a brief and fruitful affair with bacteria.
Seafood is dodgy
In general, poor old prawns, scallops, fish and so on get a bad reputation just because they pong more than other uncooked meats. Seafood is no more likely to cause food poisoning than other meats.
It’s OK to leave cooked rice/pasta out of the fridge
Says who? When these foods (and other cooked items) enter the temperature “danger zone” of 5-60 degrees, Bacillus cereus can form heat-resistant spores and a heat-resistant toxin.
Dairy products cause phlegm
Dairy Australia and the National Asthma Council Australia say that this myth is not supported by scientific evidence, citing a comprehensive review in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition.
[I have choir colleagues who studiously avoid diary products before a concert.]
Mould on cheese and jam is not dangerous
It all depends on the type of mould, and the official line is that if it is not meant to be mouldy – [eg cheese] – then it shouldn’t be. Moulds can penetrate more deeply than the eye can see, so what looks like a small patch on your chunky raspberry jam or vintage tasty cheese might be a lot larger.
For the full article, see http://www.smh.com.au/news/health/top-five-food-safety-myths/2008/04/21/1208742837735.html
April 21st, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Personally? I’d replace the bit about the salt with “know your herbs”. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had a friend brag about their amazing chicken they just made, and when I ask “really, what’s on it?” they say “oh, a shake of cajun seasoning, some mesquite seasoning, and some jerk chicken seasoning” DRIVES ME DEMENTED. I am working on a cookbook and I’ve got a food blog geared to new cooks teaching gourmet tips. The tip I give the most to new cooks is to, once every few weeks, pick a new herb and explore it. Study it a bit, look it up on wikipedia. Find a few recipes that use it, and work with them to find it’s niche.
Taking the conversation back a while, I’d like to make a point about Emeril. I think it was Mom that said she didn’t like him because he uses very similar seasonings. In his defense, because it’s one of the styles I’ve mastered, he does cajun cuisine nearly exclusively. Cajun cuisine uses very similar herbs in a lot of it’s dishes. I don’t see it so much as a drawback, but a style. Every cook has an herb they favor strongly, so it vaguely makes sense that even as a famous chef his herbs tend to follow a theme. I’m a NUT for sweet paprika. I use it on everything I can get away with it.
Great list, jfrater. I threw out my microwave a year ago and it’s improved my cooking on incredible levels, and removes the urge to eat microwave only foods. Hell, even frozen pizzas. I have a pizza stone so I fire up the oven and toss them on that. It’s just as fast but FAR tastier. There are thousands of tricks like that that take no more time than a quick nuke, but taste way better. I always say the key to good cooking is to know the difference between a shortcut and a bad habit. Microwaves are rarely the former and usually the latter. Especially as a parent, I swear by whole foods created from scratch. I know what’s in them, I know how healthy they are.
Some of the stuff that’s in frozen tv dinners I wouldn’t even feed my dog.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I am an Evil Taco; As an added bonus by cooking yourself you will guarantee your children have a proper appreciation for real food. All my kids (4 plus an add-on) save one, much prefer my cooking to fast food. If they want to go out for dinner they don’t want MacDonald’s they want a real restaurant. Needless to say, its one of the reasons we don’t go out very often. Its hard to justify a restaurant meal that costs damn near as much as your mortgage.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:48 am
I must say, I denounce any bad things anyone – including the Sydney Morning Herald – has to say about the 3-second rule. It’s a proven scientific fact that the 3-second rule is perfectly fine for safely removing dropped food from the floor. The beauty of the the 3-second rule is that if you fail to pick it up by 3 seconds, it becomes the 5 second rule, and barring complete failure, the 9 second rule. All that dust and pethair is good for the skin anyway.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:16 am
The ‘Fell On The Floor Rule’ essentially goes as follows:
Dry falling on Dry – no real time limit – just brush off the fuzz.
Any combination of wet and dry – be very careful unless you know the stuff coming into contact with each other are okay for consumption.
I grew up with the ‘5-second rule’ and I’m still kickin’…even after a few 30-second delayed retrievals.
Mythbusters did a segment on the rule… check them out sometime. They found pretty much what we always knew.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Okay… now I’m hungry even though I just ate!
May 10th, 2008 at 1:38 am
you forgot the most important one pay attention to what you are doing avoid being distracted, god i can’t count how many times thats screwed me over, especially when you don’t have a recipe to work off of but general knowledge.
May 26th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Disagree strongly with the salt thing. Yes we need salt in a diet but for those who have moved away from having food “flavoured” by salt they you discover the taste of the food, rather than an added mineral.
But the rest is good
March 21st, 2009 at 8:06 am
umm… ok list i guess
November 19th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
@lotus (248): Salt is not just a cheap way to add flavor. It’s a flavor enhancement. Cooking with salt doesn’t just make something salty, it actually enhances your perception of the flavors of the food salted.
Salt isn’t something to “move away from.” The human tongue tastes five basic flavors – sweet, sour, salty, bitter, umami. Plenty of things are sweet, all acids are sour, many oils and fats are bitter, and a lot of foods have umami. But only salt is salty.
Why is that relevant? I’ll tell you – if salt is something to “move away” from, something to avoid, then why did the human tongue evolve to have a sense dedicated to that alone?
I bet you avoid things like butter, too. Stop being trendy, take a culinary science course (trust me, it’ll turn around a LOT of your perceptions of health and flavor), and enjoy your foods properly seasoned, including salt.