Well, you all knew it…Americans are truly weird. We have some of the most outrageous holidays for each day of the year! I chose the current month of March to start with and picked only one holiday per day as some days had 2 or 3! So here (for you all to poke fun at) is March’s Holidays in all their glory, in order of date.
March 1 – Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
Just when you thought it was safe to eat the peanut butter. What a sticky subject. Is your PP&J safe? Millions of American children are currently without their favorite sandwich due to the recent peanut scare in which peanuts have been found to contain salmonella. Of course that is not stopping some companies to start advertising based on that. Some are even saying that “their” peanut butter is safe to eat. You can see more on that here. Americans on average eat about 3 pounds of peanut butter per person per day.
Joke of the day: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with an elephant? – Peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
March 2 – Old Stuff Day
The most boring day of the year. True! When asked, “What’s up?” or “What’s new?” most of us respond with “Nothing much, same old, same old”. So in response to this, we made a holiday out of it. This is not a day to do the “same old” stuff… it is more a time to reflect on what has made life so boring that you can’t answer the question “What’s new?”.
March 3 – If Pets had Thumbs Day
Don’t you ever wonder what the world would be like if your dog or cat had thumbs? At least I wouldn’t have to get up at 5am in the morning to feed them! This is the day to let your imagination run wild.
March 4 – Holy Experiment Day
Nope, not a day for you to switch religions or vote if Creationism should be taught in schools… . (cough) It’s actually a day to try being more religious than you currently are. Pray for something different than you have before.
March 5 – Multiple Personalities Day
My favorite, and mine and mine and the rest of us too! This is a day to get in touch with our inner self (selves).
March 6 – Frozen Food Day
JFrater’s worst day… as it involves the microwave! This is a day to treasure those oh so yummy snacks that get shoved into our freezers to take out and have at a moments notice. ZAP! Instant food! (that is soggy and has the taste of the cardboard box it came in) but… oh so good!
March 7 – Crown Roast of Pork Day
Not much on this day other than it’s a day to celebrate pork… especially Crown Roast of Pork!
March 8 – Be Nasty Day
Boy was this true on the list universe! Nice day to go over signs of a tyranny. Just a day to be grumpy without being cruel.
March 9 – Panic Day
Now… everyone remain calm, except today. This is the only official day to panic.
March 10 – Festival of Life in the Cracks Day
Did your life slip through the cracks? Not today it didn’t! Celebrate a day of life in the cracks (no plumbers, please)
March 11 – Worship of Tools Day
Song choice: If I had a Hammer
Men can relate to this one! This is the perfect day to spend in the garage staring at those gadgets and gizmos that you just had to have… so when will the fence get fixed?
March 12 – Alfred Hitchcock Day
Ok… so not so wacky but how cool is it to have a day devoted to this famous filmmaker!
March 13 – Ear Muff Day
When the next time you put on a pair of these, you can thank the big-eared Chester Greenwood for creating them in 1877. Of course, he called them the Champion Ear Protectors. Thankfully the name was shorted to the ear muff.
March 14 – Potato Chip Day
So many overweight Americans can now proudly celebrate the best day of the year! Potato chips are the number one snack food in America. So to show your appreciation on this day of the deep fried chip, sit back on that couch, grab your remote and a tasty bowl of crispy spuds!
March 15 – Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
Story of my life. This is the day to blame it on the day! Nothing goes right today and now we celebrate it. Go figure.
March 16 – Everything You Do Is Right Day
(Did you see yesterday?) But today… no matter what you do it’s the right thing on this day. (of course that excludes illegal stuff) So, today is your day!
March 17 – Submarine Day
Song choice: Yellow Submarine
This is the day to celebrate the submarine (boat not sandwich). A suggestion is to watch “The Hunt for the Red October” on this day.
As a side note: For any of you who might have enjoyed the thread on 10 Great Atlantic Ocean Liners, you might know that I suffer from Megalophobia-fear of large objects. So I didn’t go out searching for any pictures of subs for this list.
March 18 – Supreme Sacrifice Day
Ok… so not a wacky one, but nice to have. This should be a better celebrated holiday. This day is to recognize those who have given up the most for others. This includes: fireman, policeman, soldiers and of course Jesus.
March 19 – Poultry Day
Most famous chicken: Foghorn Leghorn
A day to celebrate your favorite bird! (no, not your finger) Turkey, quail, duck and chicken. This is the day to eat your fill and try to answer the age old question: What came first? The chicken or the egg?
March 20 – Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
So I had to do a lot of probing on this one… Only in America would we have a day to celebrate something like this. So keep your eye on the sky and don’t forget to grab a towel!
March 21 – Fragrance Day
Armani, Dior, Boss, Claiborne, Liz … .put on your favorite this day. Just remember this one tip: Don’t marinate in it.
March 22 – Goof-off Day
Sweet! I actually have an excuse. (Don’t think it will fly with the boss however) So who will be the first one to call off on this day? This is the day for you to relax and to make sure you don’t do what you are supposed to do.
March 23 – Chip and Dip Day
So you had your potato chip day. Now what could be better? Something to dip it in… ranch, cheese, salsa… just to name a few. My favorite is bean dip!
March 24 – Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
A great combination of fruit and chocolate. If you are watching your weight, this isn’t the day for you. Celebrate this day by having a handful of this tasty treat!
March 25 – Waffle Day
“Lego my Eggo” No waffling on this holiday. It’s not only celebrated in America but also in Sweden. It originated in Sweden as Våffeldagen. The holiday coincides with the Feast of the Annunciation and it is considered to be the start of spring for both Sweden and France.
March 26 – Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
Try searching for an unrecognized trait, topic or event that hasn’t been touched upon to celebrate! Then enjoy! (I don’t think cable TV has been taken yet)
March 27 – National “Joe” Day
Nothing to do with coffee! This is the first holiday to celebrate you … as someone else. Today you are “Joe”. What would “Joe” do today? This is the day to be who you want for the day under the name of “Joe” and then you can blame it later on “Joe”.
March 28 – Something on a Stick Day
This day is celebrated by Jose Jalapeño on a Steeeck (pictured above). Actually it’s a holiday to celebrate anything on a stick. Popsicles, corndogs or jalapenos… this is the day for you!
March 29 – Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day
David Copperfield day…just kidding. This is the day of illusion and mystery. This is a great day for a masked ball or magic show. (no creepy clowns, please)
March 30 – I Am in Control Day
Oh really. Sounds like one of the 5 Signs That You Are Turning Into a Dictator. Actually, this started when Secretary of State Alexander Haig was quoted to have said “I am in control here” on the day that President Ronald Reagan was shot in an assassination attempt. This led to Haig eventual resignation. This also a great day to celebrate after Panic Day!
March 31 – Clams On the Half Shell Day
This is a day to celebrate those rubbery friends of ours… the clams! So tonight dine at your favorite seafood restaurant, or if you are lucky to get them yourself, enjoy them at home! But, make sure they are on the half-shell!
Contributor: oouchan
Every day is March 15th for me, or so my girlfriend tells me…
31 Wacky Marches of Holiday… that brains me and missus postcard..
Oh, thanks, oouchan! Oysters on the half-shell! ~gag~
I used to love oysters. Really loved to eat oysters, the taste, the feeling in the mouth, everything about the experience…
Then one time, I was on a shoot which took me to San Francisco from Hollywood. The night before the shoot was to begin, the Producer took the Agency and me to a late dinner at Fog City Diner (which is famous or their oysters). He started ordering every type of oyster on the menu.
I got food poisoning. I was up all night, sick as a dog, and had to work a 16 hour day anyway.
No more oysters, ever.
This list is terrible.
Did you forget that March 14th is also Pi(e) Day (3.14) and is also Guy’s Valentines Day (also known as Steak and Blowjob Day).
#1- the average american eats 3 pounds of peanut butter per day? i dont think so….
“3 pounds of peanut butter per person per day”
That is 1.4 kilograms. An average pot of nutbut is 500g. this means americans eat 3 pots a day, or 21 pots per week.
Even if it is just $1 (its over £1 for the good stuff here) that is more than $20 a week on peanut butter.
I think that has to be wrong.
Sorry everyone…“3 pounds of peanut butter per person per day” is a typo. It’s supposed to be “year”! My bad!
In my part of the world…new England…I’m pretty sure March14 is steak and a blowjob day where you get two of the most manly things if you’re lucky enough to find a girl who is good at both.
If you were a chef and now in prison, I guess you would be good at both (and manly too)?
ok…mom stop using my computer!
the last one was not me!
Very funny. Folks sure get ***** about our 3 lbs of peanut butter per day.Good everyone is concerned enought to reasearch it. At least we don`t eat 3 lbs of vegamite a day. HA !
72.bigski – Did some research on vegamite … yuck! I’ll stick to peanut butter. Glad oouchan corrected the 3 lbs/day to 3 lbs/year. I now feel thinner.
What happened to Pi Day??? That’s was the only good thing I looked forward to being born on March 14!
Then again, Potato Chip Day sounds so tempting…
…sounds a lot like Hitler’s birthday.
What about Pi day? March 14? 3.14? ‘Tis my favourite!
Also, this past March 4th was National Grammar Day!
love this list, the more wackiness, the better! today is worship your tools day and i put up a shelf in the bathroom before i even read this…after reading, i wrote everything on my calender-guess i need more brevity in my life…
About #11 Worship of Tools Day: “Men can relate to this one!” – maybe I’m being picky here, but I’m a woman and I’m also a Maintenance technician, so I would relate to this one too.
Figures. I gave up Potato Chips for Lent and now I can’t even celebrate my favourite snack on their day. SIGH!
March 17th: Submarine day, St. Patric’s day, my birthday, and John Wayne Gacy’s birthday! Quite the celebration!
i read the 13th as ‘eat muff’ day
This list is pretty lame. These aren’t nationally recognized holidays, just random dyas that crazies have created. Nobody even knows about these dumb holidays. Not impressed with this list….
As for the 3lbs of Peanut Butter per day. Check out this link:
http://www.peanutbutter.com/funfacts.aspx
i read the 13th as ‘eat muff’ day
See the “food ingredients” list for a discussion about eating beaver!
3/11 is 311 Day, for those who are fans of the band 311
Hmm, you missed two dates… My birthday (13) and Pi Day (14), how could you
84. Mark…I actually didn’t know about Pi day. I had to look it up. (happy soon-to-be birthday!) At least it falls on the Ear(t) Muff day!
fyi…my day is the 15th of october….White Cane Safety Day.
85. oouchan : Yay, ear muffs, that could be cool… If it got below 15 (Celsius) where I live… Which is rarely ever does, only time it gets lower than 10 is overnight and that’s only in the middle of winter
Still, I hate the cold so I guess that’s not so bad
jfrater.. stolen where? that oddee article is from 2006
oh, I get it now… the oddee article was published here at listverse
86. Mark…wish I could get below 70F…I live in Arizona. At 70F we need sweaters. NOT kidding. If you hate the cold…you will love it here. Max temp I have gone through is 120F.
89. oouchan : o.O
Mark, oouchan
. When I was living in Wisconsin, shorts weather was when the temps finally came back up to 45F(roughly 7C)
You two are a bunch of wimps
…I miss walking through knee high snow to get to work… Nothing wakes you up quite like a -15F morning.
91. gabi319 : Aww, let’s all shed a tear for poor Gabi :’(
91. gabi319…I can beat that. I lived in Edinboro, PA along the snow belt. 15 feet of snow in a weekend really doesn’t help when you are on your way to class. -20 to -30 with wind chill….not to mention ice storms. 3 or more inches of ice on everything. Even blades of grass (what wasn’t covered by snow), lights, telephone poles…Can you guess why I like my 120F?
93. oouchan and 91. gabi319 : I’ve only seen snow once in my – admittedly short – life. It was basically just ice left over from the snowfall many months beforehand at the top of the mountain just before and after the tunnel on the way to Milford Sound in NZ – I’m sure Jamie would know the place I’m talking about
Oh, were we supposed to include wind chill factor?? well in that case…..
I do plan on celebrating each of these holidays. Thanks
Umm…Foghorn Leghorn was a ROOSTER and all of the hens had the hots for him. What about St. Patrick’s Day on the 17th? Gotta love the peanut butter day right after the major scandal of peanut producers who knowingly sold tainted peanuts and sickened hundreds and killed many. I wonder how many people celebrated? I wonder how many regret it.
A fun list! Nice to know that Alfred Hitch*****Day and my birthday are the same.
Cold? While living on a farm in Illinois one year, we had a wind chill of 70 below. The furnace would not kick on and the propane would not convert to gas. It was a white out and I had to tie a rope to the house and one to me in order to feed the animals in the barn and get firewood. I had to cook on an old warm morning stove (hence the firewood). This lasted 3 days, but what an adventure. You find out a lot about yourself.
Wibisniba28 , that is far more than I want to know about myself!
I used to live in Colorado. Every third or fourth spring we would get 4 or 5 feet of snow. The only people who had problems driving were the people visiting from California (surprising amount out here). Even in high school with my old Camry two-wheel-drive I did fine. Now I live in Las Vegas and over the winter it snowed less than an inch and people were freaking out.
March 8 – What.. no women day???!! wow.. no wonder half of the population is nasty with you on that day! lol
@Mark: sorry was not here past few days… are u kidding me??? u dont know what india has in the tank??? my god.. our team is full of youngsters… and we have been rocking from day one… and pls dont tell me about the aussie lineup… u guys crashed out when the senior guys all left…
hey, cool, let’s bash americans on a website where people are supposed to be chill and get along. good thing a group of ragtag dogs kicked your ass in the revolutionary war when you had every reason to win, and you went from the greatest kingdom in the world to….whatever you want to call yourself now.
103. atulajith : And now we’re back at the top, with a much younger squad than any other major test team in the world. Doesn’t that scare you?
happy ear muff day!
@purdnasty: Everything turns into a bash America/Bush/Obama/Britain/Bill Brasky conversation eventually.
especially when the list actually does bash america, open your eyes
i love march 23 chip and dip day! it gives me a reasone to eat salsa all day!!!
but the personality one is funny, we all like it.
oouchan….HI MOM!!
@purdnasty #108: I did see it, relax a bit, I was just trying to change the direction of the comments. Sheesh.
Given my advancing years, might it be in order to change March 11 from Worship of Tools day to Worship Viagra day?
D.O.M.
If March forth is an order, isn’t also March first, March second, or any command giving your position in the file?
111. Anon:…change March 11 from Worship of Tools day…
****
I thought that was Worship Your Tool Day…
Anon and segue: funny…(only March 4th is an order…others are optional, at best)
109. dead_girl….hi, dear!
oochan-
did you really just get a list shout out from your own daughter?
if so, you both have good taste! love it
but can i say now how sad it makes me that my b-day is “Everything You Think Is Wrong Day”?
i’m trying to see that:
A: it’s a made up holiday, so no worries, -or:
B: maybe it’s a reminder for all of us to rethink our convictions and discover why we really hold them, thusly opening a window for personal growth, not some weird commentary on my own sense of self (yes, that was the depressive in me on that last note. i’m trying to just kick her to the curb and out the door, but it’s hard…)
again, silly -but fun- list
114. lo…thanks for that! Yes, my daughter finally signed up for the LV and she has been having fun. I told her to be nice and not to become a troll….or I will have Jaime ground her! lol.
and just to make you feel better, you can choose from these as well as they fall on the 15th, too.
*Ides of March
*Incredible Kid Day
*Dumbstruck Day
oouchan, (115),
“Ides of March”
Sounds like something to avoid.
My 116 is in moderation. Is it possible the word Hxly would cause that? There’s absolutely nothing else remotely feasible!
113. oouchan
“… only March 4th is an order…others are optional, at best”
Not if MY drill corporal had bellowed, “March first!”, my dear. Oh my Goodness Gracious and Hxly Jankers (time on fatigues) no. You think an enemy is dangerous? You wanna try not obeying your own drill corp.!
O.K. I give up. It’s not holy. I put Hxly and its gone into mod again. I need to know for future reference. WTF is it?
ouuchan 113: i was looking up my B-day, and it’s national chocolate day!
yours falls on white cane day-that celebratesthe white canes that blind people use.
lo 114: yes i am oouchans kid. lol
anon-
the ides of march merely meant the “15th of this month.” -other months all had ides as well in roman time keeping, it’s just that the whole “assassination of Caesar” thing made the ides of march the most well known.
so curious to see what you’ve got in moderation!
oouchan, thanks for the other “holidays” of note! i like to thing i was born an “incredible kid” (aren’t we all?). and “dumbstruck day” has tons of potential…