10 Bizarre Beauty Products
Published on August 6, 2008 - 142 Comments
The lengths some people go to in the pursuit of beauty (failing that, youthfulness is pretty popular too) is really quite surprising. Even though we have been hearing for decades of the ridiculous-sounding things that our ancestors did to improve their looks and laughing derisively (seriously, the Egyptians used crocodile dung as a type of facial mask!), some of the products we use today are no less weird and disgusting. The list covers 10 of the most bizarre beauty products that are in use today – many of them can even be purchased online. While the top two items on the list are among the most well-known contemporary beauty products we hope you’ll see the reasoning behind their placement. In no particular order:
Collagen injections are used to smooth out frown lines, crows feet wrinkles, and smile lines as well as to give the appearance of full lips. Like botox, this procedure is quite common but where the main ingredient comes from is just bizarre. Notwithstanding the ninth item on this list - there are two main sources of collagen, a protein responsible for skin strength and elasticity, bovine (cow) and… human. About three in 100 people experience an allergic reaction to bovine-derived collagen which has prompted manufacturers to source collagen from aborted fetuses, placentas, and donated cadavers as the probability of an allergic reaction is virtually non-existent. Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.
While the botox procedure to prevent frown lines and wrinkles may sound fairly familiar and commonplace if you think about what you’re having injected into your skin it really is quite bizarre. Botulinum toxin (bo + tox = botox) is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances on the planet and the single most toxic protein. Eating food contaminated with Clostridium botulinum can lead to serious food poisoning (the fatality rate is 5 to 10%) if there is toxin present. One microgram (1/1000000 of a gram) is lethal to humans. The amounts used in cosmetic procedures are consequently very small.
The neurotoxins produced by members of the cobra family of snakes (and some vipers and rattlesnakes) act on prey by blocking the nerve impulses to the muscles and inducing paralysis. Realizing that snake venom could produce a similar effect to that of Botox, the beauty industry has come up with a synthetic form of snake venom that is applied to the face as a cream rather than injected. It is meant to be safer and less invasive. The venom that was used to create the synthetic version comes from ‘snake farms’ in Brazil where thousands of snakes are ‘milked’ for their venom.
According to manufacturers of the product, placenta wrinkle cream derived from bovine placentas can slow down the appearance of visible signs of aging by moisturizing skin and combating wrinkles. Some companies also use plant placenta (yes, flowering plants have placentas!) and even human. Claims were first made in the 1940s (when this idea was first marketed) that the nutrient rich placenta gave off the benefits of hormones and stimulated cell growth. Since the FDA quickly decided that this constituted a medical claim, saying this became illegal in the US. The manufacturers changed these claims to say that the proteins present in the placenta moisturize one’s skin and hair.
How dedicated are you to having smooth, shiny hair? If you’re serious enough there’s the option (in the UK at least) to have a hairdresser massage bull semen into your scalp. The reasoning behind this “ewww” inducing idea? Hair is made up of protein, although essentially your hair is dead, and some proteins can help form a protective layer around the hair. Some people thought it would be a good idea to market protein treatments as a way of keeping your hair healthy anyway. The supposedly ultimate source of concentrated protein? Bull semen.
There is an old Japanese beauty secret making its way over to the western world. It’s called ‘uguisu no fun‘ or sterilized nightingale droppings. An enzyme called guanine (also added to various make up products for its pearly sheen) found in the nightingale’s droppings apparently does a good job of bleaching and exfoliating skin. Kabuki actors and geishas have been using uguisu no fun for hundreds of years to remove make up and to keep their skin soft. The joy of spreading bird excrement on your face doesn’t come as cheap as a jar of Olay though. It’s around twenty US dollars for one ounce. If you’d rather have someone else do the smearing, you can go to the Shizuka Day Spa in New York and $180 later your face will be smooth and soft.
If you’re willing to give the leeches a go, you might also be interested in letting a school of small fish nibble the dead skin cells off your toes. The idea is that you put your feet into a tank containing a species of carp (doctor fish) and wait 15 to 30 minutes while they feast on your calluses. Because the fish are toothless the process is meant to be very safe, as they can only suck off pieces of dead, flaking skin. In Turkey, where the treatment originated, the fish live in natural hot springs and are a popular skin care option for the people who bathe there.
Letting blood-sucking parasites attach their slimy bodies to you as a ‘detox’ sounds like a questionable idea. However, leech therapy, or hirudotherapy, has been practiced since 1020 AD for treating skin disease and helping patients recover from surgery. These days, leeches can be used in the treatment of varicose veins, reducing blood coagulation, and helping stimulate blood circulation in reattached organs that require critical blood flow. If you are more adventurous you can follow in the footsteps of celebrities, such as Demi Moore, and make your way to Austria to have your blood feasted on by the medicinal species of leech, Hirudo medicinalis.
This odd treatment isn’t plastered on your face, or combed through your hair, but eaten instead. Pig’s feet are being marketed as an edible way to combat wrinkles by New York restaurant Hakata Tonton’s owner. He figures that since the tootsies of the pig contain a high amount of collagen (which is used in anti wrinkle creams and lip injections) a person might as well eat them to gain similar benefits. Although collagen is one of the major proteins involved in maintaining skin and muscle tone, consuming a meal of pig trotters is almost certainly a less effective method of keeping the scalpel away than simply maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and staying out of the sun.
Because snails can heal and regenerate their shells using the slime they secrete the beauty industry is now using the slime of the common garden snail species (Helix aspersa) in beauty products. The myriad of claims for its efficacy range from getting rid of acne to improving stretch marks and scarring. The snail secretion, which is also used by the snail to reduce friction as it moves, seems to have anti-bacterial in addition to antioxidant qualities. If it works for the snail, why not put it on your face?
Contributor: downhighway61, and Tempyra
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1. pankhudi - August 7th, 2008 at 3:15 am
I have actually taken ‘Fish Pedicure’ in Singapore once. Nice List again
2. downhighway61 - August 7th, 2008 at 3:15 am
I looove the pics, especially the first one!
Thanks, J!
3. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 3:19 am
The pics are gross
4. Diamond_Dragon - August 7th, 2008 at 3:22 am
I know there was a reason why I was such a beautiful baby!
I always used to put snails in my face cause it felt funny.
If anyone needs me I’ll be out in the backyard!!!
Interesting list by the way!
5. stewart - August 7th, 2008 at 3:44 am
It seems that you can sell anything in the name of enhancing beauty. All woman are beautiful in their own way, I don’t see why we all want to see semi clones of Hollywood woman? If your teeth a skew its your personal design. If your nose is longer than average, so what? Do you only plant one colour and design of flower in your garden?
Number seven looks really cool though, would not mind trying that, must tickle lots!
6. pankhudi - August 7th, 2008 at 3:45 am
Hey, I was the first commenter here. Wow, that’s a great feeling
7. Sunshine - August 7th, 2008 at 3:48 am
Oh, what a fantastic list to read while I eat my bacon, eggs, and beans. :[
8. ohrmets - August 7th, 2008 at 3:57 am
Thanks for giving me nightmares! Holy crap, #1 will haunt my mind for the rest of my life.
9. pankhudi - August 7th, 2008 at 4:02 am
Stewart - ‘All woman are beautiful in their own way’. Like that. And yes, #7 is really worth going for. I dont know whether it made my legs beautiful or not but it was an awesome experience. It is not also very expensive.
10. rushfan - August 7th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Fantastic list, ladies! I love being a low-maintenance gal, myself, so no crazy crap like this for me.
11. thedeafguy - August 7th, 2008 at 4:22 am
people are nuts.
God must be shaking his head sometimes.
12. sgvaibhav - August 7th, 2008 at 4:33 am
Aweesome pics and people.
I expected this list to be something about Olympics.
13. NiMur90 - August 7th, 2008 at 4:44 am
Great list! I doubt some of these work!
14. Jen - August 7th, 2008 at 4:50 am
How long has “snail slime cream” existed? Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s Bullshit? A couple seasons ago, they were trying fake beauty treatments on people as a joke, and one of them was snail slime (though they used straight up snails).
15. Diamond_Dragon - August 7th, 2008 at 4:50 am
“All woman are beautiful in their own way”.
In general I agree to this. But look at the first picture and tell me she is beautiful… do it….
16. art_madd - August 7th, 2008 at 4:54 am
There´s nothing wrong with pig´s feet. At least in Spain they are a perfectly normal food that you can find in a lot of restaurants and shops. When used as food, they are not called feet but “manos” (hands) which, I guess, sounds less gross.
I don´t remember if I have ever tried them or not but this is because being such a normal dish I wouldn´t have thought much about it. Every part of the pig is used here and I have yet to find one I don´t like. I even eat pig´s ears which taste very good (properly cooked)but I admit the texture is a little gross (not surprisingly, you really feel you are muching on an ear).
The others in this list I do find gross, except the fish pedicure which I have somewhat experienced naturally in a beach in Mexico and found quite relaxing.
17. bullsemenchick - August 7th, 2008 at 5:00 am
BULL SEMEN
18. fishing4monkeys - August 7th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Diamond_Dragon: SHE probably is beautiful…all those dead animals and prisoners cover it up though
19. ScubaSteve - August 7th, 2008 at 5:10 am
Here is the woman form #1 in her younger days.
[IMG]http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm146/Saxo-phone/draft_lens1369223module2241365photo.jpg[/IMG]
20. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 5:10 am
The woman in the first picture is Jocelyn Wildenstein (the ‘catwoman’ aka the Lion Queen or the Bride of Wildenstein). I think she was featured on another list, Ten Ugliest Women or something. Cosmetic surgery, I think, is responsible for much of her facial features - probably more than collagen is.
21. Peri - August 7th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I’ll keep my wrinkles just the way they are, thank you very much! And there’s no way I’d let those fish nibble at my feet–too ticklish.
22. Latex Santa - August 7th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Wonder how the fish work on Atheletes Foot?
23. rushfan - August 7th, 2008 at 5:24 am
That’s funny, Scuba.
24. astraya - August 7th, 2008 at 5:26 am
On an island resort in Korea a few days ago I was given a bar of rice powder cactus beauty soap, and bought my sisters a bar of rape beauty soap. The “grandfather statue” symbol of the island is worrying phallic in shape. (That’s Brassica napus, also known as rape, oilseed rape, rapa, rapaseed and canola, in case you’re wondering. Or at least I hope it is!)
25. Cheeshygirl - August 7th, 2008 at 5:31 am
Excellent list! Great job DH and Tempyra. The snail slime and the bull semen were new to me. I think I’ll pass on all of these. Although, the little fish nibblers does sound slightly titillating …….
26. Claire - August 7th, 2008 at 5:40 am
ScubaSteve: I thought of the same character when I saw the picture for #1!
I’d like to get a fish pedicure, only because they’re cute, and it would tickle. My feet are beyond help!
Do leeches hurt a lot?
27. Csimmons - August 7th, 2008 at 6:10 am
man, the lengths some people will go for beauty….
Great list!
28. Egg - August 7th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Always new ways to make people look better. I wonder if anything can actually enhance your beauty, or if they’re all placebos? Though I wouldn’t mind getting fairer skin… not sure how thrilled I am by having a feces-face. There’s one for the office.
29. bucslim - August 7th, 2008 at 6:23 am
I thought ‘getting shit-faced’ was a term relating to a 12 pack of Busch Light followed by Jaeger bombs.
Kinda makes you wonder who the first person to try that, doesn’t it?
Damn birds just shit all over my face.
Don’t worry, just wipe it off.
Wow my skin feels really soft and wrinkle free!
Let’s go get some more and sell it!
How exactly do we get those birds to shit in our little jars?
The same way we got the bull to splay his DNA into the jar dummy.
30. Mom424 - August 7th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Great Job Ladies!
Every summer, at our cottage, we would make the hour trek up the creek to the falls. The water falls eroded out a fairly large swimming hole just full of those nibbler fish. It is a interesting sensation to say the least.
Who knew I could have taken folks with me and charged for the experience? Another missed opportunity, Damn.
31. JB - August 7th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Lipsticks used to be made with shark’s liver oil.
Great list, too.
32. Callie - August 7th, 2008 at 6:39 am
Gah!
I’m so glad my mom taught me to take care of my skin every day so I won’t have to worry about squirting poison into my face in 20 years.
Fun fact time:
People used to eat tapeworms to be thing (you can find vintage ads for it online)
You can shoot botox into your armpits to stop sweating for however long botox lasts (notice how celebrities almost never have pit stains on the red carpet?)
They just started fish pedicures in either Virginia or DC (it’s kind of the same anyway, VA or MD should just absorb poor Washingtion) but somewhere closeish to me. I was thinking about it but it’s sort of freaky.
33. Callie - August 7th, 2008 at 6:39 am
thin, not thing
34. solensdrottning - August 7th, 2008 at 6:50 am
Even if these things actually worked the way the manufacturers say they will, the fish pedicure is the only one I would touch with a 10 foot pole.
@26 - Claire, I’ve heard leeches don’t hurt. In fact you don’t feel them at all because when they attach, they secrete an analgesic that numbs the skin in the area. You wouldn’t even know they were there.
35. eraserhead - August 7th, 2008 at 6:50 am
The placenta wrinkle cream reminded me of a great short film called “Dumplings” by Fruit Chan. You can find it on the Three Extremes DVD. Synopsis: “An aging actress wishing to reclaim her youth goes to a woman who makes dumplings that supposedly have regenerative properties. However, they contain a gruesome secret ingredient.” The other two shorts are excellent as well.
36. Brickhouse - August 7th, 2008 at 6:52 am
Does any *want* to know how they get the bull semen for your hair… Must take a LOT of work.
37. robneiderman - August 7th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Geez, who HASN’T had bull semen in their hair?
38. chris - August 7th, 2008 at 7:12 am
I laugh at women who use botox. It doesn’t make you look younger or beautiful. It makes you look like an expressionless jackass.
39. kittym - August 7th, 2008 at 7:28 am
That was … enlightening. Think I’ll keep my wrinkles and stretch marks, thanks!
I feel for Jocelyn Wildenstein (picture number one). Isn’t there a point where using a lot of plastic surgery becomes an actual disorder?
40. liantener - August 7th, 2008 at 7:28 am
In Mexico is very common to eat Pig’s foot, and there’s a special recipe. In fact is very delicious.
But no, it doesn’t help the skin. Well, at least no one in Mexico has ever noticed it.
41. downhighway61 - August 7th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Ambergris is used for perfumes by the way.
It’s basically whale bile.
beware…
42. segue - August 7th, 2008 at 8:01 am
This is one of those things that just make you say “What?”
Even though, when I was a teen, I was a model and actress, and later, after 6 years of full time Uni, marriage, motherhood, divorce, working in the film biz, my beauty routine (even to this day) has never altered.
I use simple, inexpensive, Olay products for cleansing and moisturizing. I look (I am told by everyone) at least 15 -20 years younger than my real age.
When I look at the poor woman in #1, who is actually one of the richest women, I feel both pity and anger.
Pity for her, because she was a perfectly lovely woman before all of the surgeries began. Pity because her husband wasn’t man enough to tell her he loved her just as she was, and that she needed no changes to either keep his love, or compete with the other women in their circle.
Anger is directed mainly at the doctors, who time after time, performed needless and harmful surgeries, compounding the butcheries already inflected upon this woman.
Anger, too, that no Psychiatrist put a stop to what the woman herself was obviously unable, by this time, to stop herself.
Anger at the husband, who let it get out of hand in the first place.
**
On A Lighter Note
Snail Slime Cream
Not on your life.!
I have one very strict rule in life, and I have very few strict rules, “Never eat, or apply to ones body, something that under ordinary conditions, one would leave poison bait out for”.
43. Mathilda - August 7th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I’m going to start a salon where I offer fish pedicures! But (for a much higher price) I will offer piranah fish pedicures - with a lifetime warranty that you will never need another pedicure.
This is another great list, but I think it’s sad that people are so concerned about trying to maintain a youthful appearance that they would subject themselves to things like this. What’s so wrong with aging gracefully? I think a well-maintained fifty year old is much more attractive than a forty year old who is trying to look as if they are in their early twenties (and invariably failing).
44. Vera Lynn - August 7th, 2008 at 8:21 am
There is a reason it’s called uguisu no fun. It’ no fun!
45. Vera Lynn - August 7th, 2008 at 8:25 am
segue She is tying to look like a cat. Extreme plastic surgery. Even her teeth are altered.
Tempyra (20) I was gonna say that too.
bucslim (29) That was too funny! I raelly am laughing out loud. People are looking at me. Im in the LIBRARY. From now on give a heads up. Like: Warning Humor Ahead.
art_madd (16) The stores around here sell pigs feet, too. Just packaged right next to all the other meat.
46. frank - August 7th, 2008 at 8:38 am
“Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.”
You call that more morally outraging than taking it from aborted fetuses!?
47. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 8:58 am
frank: I said possibly. Not all people are morally opposed to abortion. But don’t start arguing about that here - the abortion Your View is more the place for that debate.
48. Joss - August 7th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Well researched and written.
49. JwJwBean - August 7th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Very nice job. Interesting.
50. Bob - August 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Has nobody noticed that these are in reverse order from what they should be? I missed that fact until I realized the fish entry referred back to the leech entry, which I hadn’t actually read yet. Whoops!
51. JB - August 7th, 2008 at 9:22 am
31. JB:
I know I’m not a registered user.
But please try to use another nickname to avoid the confusion.
Interesting list. I never though bukake was a beauty product.
52. Riya B. - August 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Bull semen? Bird crap? For the love of God,placenta cream!? What has gotten into these people? Great list,by the way.
53. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Bob: Yeah, the order was intended to be the other way around. Not sure what happened there.
Thanks for all the compliments people! Downhighway61 and I had fun compiling this list.
Some things we decided against putting on the list were soap made from human breast milk, skin lotion made from human sperm extract, shark eggs (I can’t remember what the product was for), and bee mucus skin cream. One I just saw today is a shampoo from Brazil that contains bone marrow from oxen.
54. segue - August 7th, 2008 at 9:50 am
****
45. Vera Lynn
segue She is tying to look like a cat. Extreme plastic surgery. Even her teeth are altered.
****
OMG!
She’s done this on purpose?!?!?!?!?!
55. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 9:53 am
segue:
Yep. You can see her ‘progress’ in this series of photos:
http://kecy.roumen.cz/archive/.....de_cas.jpg
She used to be quite pretty I think.
56. bucslim - August 7th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Gee thanks for that link Tempyra, I’m eating lunch for crying out loud. I felt a tangible bile thrust as the page opened.
Never mind the cat look she’s striving for, looks more like something I found in the cat box.
57. schiesl - August 7th, 2008 at 10:10 am
the fish therapy thing is actually really cool. one of my friends got one and they said it was really awesome
58. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 10:13 am
bucslim: Not my fault you couldn’t help clicking the link
59. segue - August 7th, 2008 at 10:21 am
****
55. Tempyra
segue:
Yep. You can see her ‘progress’ in this series of photos:…
She used to be quite pretty I think.
****
Thank you, Tempyra.
She was pretty.
She must be profoundly mentally disturbed. That is the only conclusion I can come up with that makes *any* sense at all. What I mean by that, is that her sense of self-worth, and her self image, are completely at odds with reality.
None of us see ourselves exactly as we are, but this poor woman…I just don’t know what to say.
I feel so sorry for her.
***
BTW, I’ve been meaning to ask for a long while now about your nick.
Burning time?
Fleeting fire?
60. frank - August 7th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Tempyra - It’s on this list, I can argue about however much I fucking want. You can’t tell me what to do.
61. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 10:31 am
frank: I think you need two people for an argument.
62. Tempyra - August 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am
segue: As much as I like to burn things, Tempyra isn’t (as far as I know) anything to do with fire. It’s the name of a Thracian town that Ovid mentions in his poem Tristia (Vol. I 9, 19). I came across it by chance, liked the shape of the word, and named my blog after it. Since then I’ve started using it as my nic pretty much everywhere I go online
63. Blogball - August 7th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Nice entertaining list downhighway61, and Tempyra !
# 5: What a bunch of BS.
It’s great to come back from vacation and see all of the great lists from the past 5 days. The quality of the lists has defiantly gone up a couple of notches.
64. ciunas - August 7th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Hey, no wonder I have such a flawless complexion: I grew up in Ireland eating pigs’ trotters — ‘crubeens’ — at least once a week. Used to be v popular. I’m sure their cholesterol level is off the scale, & it’s a pain separating all the little bones form the edible bits, but they’re delicious.
My partner had a treatment like #4 involving being nibbled all over by tiny fish in China recently, just to experience it. She loved the tickling sensations. Thank Christ she has no interest in trying to reverse the flow of time with lotions & potions & absurd practices.
Great list, funny & disconcerting.
65. Nelia - August 7th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Haha, i thought i would be the only one who thought the tiny fish thing would be kinda fun.
I had a conversation recently with someone about how Nicole Kidman looked really great while she was pregnant. Glowy and not so plastic. He pointed out that you shouldn’t get Botox while pregnant, and she probably looked great in part because she had stopped freezing her face.
66. Green Is Good - August 7th, 2008 at 11:23 am
The fishy pedicure looks like fun! And ticklish.
67. ringtailroxy - August 7th, 2008 at 11:56 am
greta list!
when I was teenager, I used to wash my hair in beer. not Old Milwaukee, but not Samuel Adams’ Utopia either. (usually my Dad’s amber Bock or Heineken)
I grew up in South Carolina, and during one of my any memorable trips to the barrier islands, I met a delightful, elderly, stereo-typic African-slave descendant, voodoo-type holy woman. she told me over sun-brewed sweet tea and tea cakes that when she was young, girls would rub the pee-diapers of newborn babies on their faces to combat acne.
now, i can’t say it’s true or not, but it does make some sense… maybe the uric acid or something? either way, i never tried it…
rtr
68. goof_ball - August 7th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
i saw the fish pedicure on the news once. apperantly its very relaxing. i would try it!
oh and great list!
69. Ginny - August 7th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Callie: You can still buy tapeworms online to lose weight. They run about $1300. http://www.wormtherapy.com/
70. JAB - August 7th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Other JB: Sorry, dear!
71. Callie - August 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Ginny..
That is horrifying. I’m all for being a healthy weight but bleh *shivers* No thank you.
72. Laughing - August 7th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Frank, dude..Get a life.
73. horsefeathers - August 7th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
My grandmother used to eat pickled pigs feet as a snack. I almost passed out the first time I saw her pull one out of the jar and start gobbling it up. Ewwwwww.
74. Bananas - August 7th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
um
eweweewewewewewewew.
75. Shaner5000 - August 7th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Whenever I read a list like this, or watch show like Bizarre Foods, I always wonder, how did this start?? Like bull semen. Who was the first person to put bull semen in his hair, AND be able to convice others to do likewise?? Or with some of those exotic foods, like fermented tofu. Who was walking around and saw a fermented piece of tofu and said “boy, THAT looks tasty! NOM NOM NOM”
76. Davo - August 7th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
everyone realises none of this works, right?
77. Carina - August 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Frank sure as hell sounds like a pissed of pimple-faced teenager when mommy told you you weren’t alloed to go out :D:D:D
78. JB - August 7th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
70. JAB:
don’t worry. It’s an easy coincidence
79. downhighway61 - August 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Davo-
Well, Botox actually works, as does collagen. Some of them seemed to be more legit than others.
80. anthony p - August 7th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
i know a guy who sells the snail slime.
81. MPW - August 7th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Holy Bajeebus!. I think I just learned how to make a fortune!
great list.
82. jfrater - August 7th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
If anyone wants a $5 off discount for shopping at the list universe store, email me (jamie @ frater dot com) with your email address. 4 up for grabs! First in first served.
83. Anne O’Nemus - August 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
What about telomerase in Revive skin products? Telomerase runs 1 million USD per ounce. Yes, really one million USD.
84. Lizzie - August 7th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Nice list ladies, well done.
I do feel slightly nauseous now though. I’m so glad I’m relatively low maintenance!!
85. neoblood - August 7th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
The list seems to be upside down.
86. sarahenity - August 7th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
the snake looks like it’s crying
87. Yun - August 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
So, if you apply snail slime then eat a salty meal, will your face shrivel up like a raisin?
———-
#51, JB: “Interesting list. I never though bukake was a beauty product.”
Actually, from what I hear it actually is quite good for a person’s skin due to the high levels of protein. It’s just that most people find the application too revolting to contemplate (and understandably so.)
88. CRSN - August 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Wildenstein looks like she had the Bovine treatment, but instead of using the bottox, the doctor thought “fuck it, this must be the 20th time i’ve had to do this to this hideous woman, i’m putting in the whole fucking cow in this time”
89. Nick Palla - August 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Did the text on the lists get bigger or is my computer acting up?
90. Jessy - August 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Disgusting….to us. Of course, as some people have already mentioned on this list, particularly concerning pig’s feet, when no one around you is squeamish about a certain object/practice, and you live around that your whole life, it wouldn’t occur to you to think that rubbing semen on your face or urine in your hair would be strange. That doesn’t explain the recent trend of shooting botulism into your face to look younger though…There could be an interesting tangent here about why “looking old” is so terrible in western society. In other societies, “elders” are revered, and people wear their age with pride.
Remember guys…”if you don’t feed the trolls, they’ll go away”
91. alex - August 7th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
frank lighten up
92. Idreno - August 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Vile…some are just VILE.
93. pankhudi - August 7th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
JFrator: you got my mail?
94. Mona - August 7th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Great list! I actually bought placenta for my hair once. It was sheep placenta, supposedly harvested naturally at birth. I reluctantly used one of the little bottles, and it felt so wrong! I never used it again, besides, it did nothing for my hair.
95. jfrater - August 7th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
pankhudi: yes - just got it - thanks.
96. Hannah - August 8th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Gag! Just about anything completely disgusting supposedly has “age-defying properties” these days, doesn’t it?
Ring-tail Roxy, your comment made me think of how the Romans used to gargle pee to clean their teeth. Either way, wiping a dirty diaper on your face or gargling with it- so sick!
97. Philosopher - August 8th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Jessy (90) Because men leave women who look “Old” They always have and they always will. So women try to fight back. It has become a competition between “girls” and “women” But no man wants a woman. They all want a “girl” Truer than you know. Ask any man. A 25 yr old who weighs 160, or a 45 tr old who weighd 130. The 25 yr old comes first always. Firmer breasts, etc. No competition.
And that’s leaving out grey hair, child-bearing stretch marks, etc.
Men are selfish. It’s killing us women.
98. spongebabe - August 8th, 2008 at 1:09 am
bull semen. i think it will make your hair stand a la mary in “there’s something about mary”. just a thought.
99. rubysp - August 8th, 2008 at 4:33 am
I think I’d like to try the fish one. About #9, pig’s foot: it might be true about the wrinkles but its also very fattening. Don’t eat too much of it. Asians have some very nice way of cooking them so you should try it at least once in your life!
100. Denzell - August 8th, 2008 at 5:42 am
ewww…
I’ll just smile often and be happy with life. That’s the best anti-aging treatment.
101. Denzell - August 8th, 2008 at 5:44 am
The girl in the collagen injections looks horrible. (at least that girl who repetitively haunted me in my dreams last May doesn’t look anything like her. IT BURNS!)
102. Crumpet - August 8th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Philosopher - it makes me glad I’m GAY
103. phunx - August 8th, 2008 at 6:51 am
the 1st pics, is it a wax or real human? anyone know?
104. Claire - August 8th, 2008 at 6:56 am
“Because men leave women who look “Old” They always have and they always will. So women try to fight back. It has become a competition between “girls” and “women” But no man wants a woman. They all want a “girl” Truer than you know. Ask any man. A 25 yr old who weighs 160, or a 45 tr old who weighd 130. The 25 yr old comes first always. Firmer breasts, etc. No competition.
And that’s leaving out grey hair, child-bearing stretch marks, etc.
Men are selfish. It’s killing us women.”
Do you not think that a similar competition exists between males? Honestly, women are not the only ones to suffer from feeling old. Also, let’s not try to pretend that women are not just as (if not more) selfish than men.
There are so many factors regarding what a man likes in a woman. True, physical appearance is very important, but what ABOUT the appearance varies from man to man. Some men like a booty, some men like breasts, some like the girl small, some like her a bit chunky.
The underlying reason women get these absurd treatments is that they do not feel worthy. Sure, a man can say she’s beautiful, but if he is constantly comparing her to other girls, she will feel inadequate. The best advice for men: be consumed with only her.
105. Ghidoran - August 8th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Weeeeird. Except the fish one. Hope to do that someday.
106. Angelina - August 8th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Well done DH61 and Tempyra! Interesting and bizarre! Loved it!
107. Tomo - August 8th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
WTF!!!
Just curious, how does one go about convincing a bull to give a semen sample. I guess the bull goes to a clinic and is given a cup and put in a room with bovine-porn mags and videos!
‘Uguisu no fun‘, bird poo, really?? No fun indeed!
Wasn’t there are tv special about women who’d go to any lenght for beauty. A plastic surgeon said that he once got a request from a lady to cut off her small toe on either foot so that she could fit into a smaller size shoe. These people need serious help!!
108. Dale Constantine - August 9th, 2008 at 1:32 am
15. Diamond Dragon
-Well now I don’t agree that all women are beautiful, although she can be a big hit in some cultures but not in mine!
109. Dale Constantine - August 9th, 2008 at 1:35 am
19. ScubaSteve- lol so funny, man!
110. Dale Constantine - August 9th, 2008 at 1:40 am
32. Callie
Fun fact time:
People used to eat tapeworms to be thing (you can find vintage ads for it online)
Ewww…. I read the list on the disgusting parasites before I registered an account. I didn’t comment because I was made speechless about the nastiness of the pics, esp. the tapeworm one!
111. infallibleangel - August 9th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
The snake farms make me shudder.
Most of these are way out-of-my-league… but if given the opportunity… I would probably try the bull semen one! It’s just a little protein. I’ve put eggs in my hair before… made it really shiny. I don’t see how semen is any worse… if you really think about it.
Many things that all sorts of humans consume/use/do are extremely strange, though it doesn’t seem like it because we have always been conditioned that they’re normal things…
112. OpenattheClose - August 9th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I wonder how effective it is for #10 to market their product with pictures of the snail on the box. Because I feel like that would be really dissuading, but then again I wouldn’t pay for someone to massage bull semen in my hair either. I guess I am too rational.
I wonder if one day in old age when the socialites and actors/actresses alike reflect back on their lifetime, will feel silly having injected cells from fetuses into their lips for the sake of vanity.
113. jackit - August 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Yep, these are all pretty crazy. I WOULD like to try the fish pedicure someday though, I have heard that it’s very effective (sounds fun too if it’s not too expensive hehehe)
114. jackit - August 9th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Oh and harvesting cells from fetuses, placenta, and dead prisoners sounds like something out of a dystopian sci-fi…
Or soylent greens even
115. harM - August 10th, 2008 at 1:51 am
It’s shock if one is probably not from one these or similar culture. For me the fish and pedicure treatment seems quite usual..again if you are from the area it seems quite less shocking.
116. Teapixie - August 10th, 2008 at 3:05 am
I would love to try the fish treatment. It sounds (and looks) like a fantastic time!!
117. Tempyra - August 10th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Another seemingly bizarre beauty idea, although from the article the science behind the procedure seems a bit more solid than most of the items on the list.
24-carat gold facelift
118. Jennie - August 10th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I would try the fish treatment, merely for the fun of it. The fish are litterally getting there breakfast from you lol!
119. beff - August 11th, 2008 at 3:13 am
i think i just puked in my mouth……how could anyone put old (presumably) bull jizz in their hair? are they not worried that it won’t come out all the way? ughhhhhhh. anyway this is a great list. these things are mostly for people who have too much time and money to spend on their looks. the fish feet thing is just gross that they eat your skin. animal cruelty?
if you feel you need to look like a “girl” instead of a an aging woman, then you should see a therapist. there is no reason you should want a man who wants a girl….find a quality guy who is not a pedophile….
besides that….yuck, bull semen…….
120. Philosopher - August 11th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
beff (119)How old are you? There’s a difference between a girl (not legal) and a girl (under 30). There is a difference between a “woman” (30 +) and an aging (AGING!!!) woman who is 50+.
Men leave 40s for 20s if/when they can. Always have, always will. No matter what. ALL MEN CHEAT!!! All Men.
121. NoPunyNerd - August 12th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Want bizarre? Check out “Bung Glow” … talk about self-obsession! Who do you suppose uses this stuff?!? http://tinyurl.com/6m7xgj
122. segue - August 12th, 2008 at 11:55 am
120. Philosopher…ALL MEN CHEAT!!! All Men.
****
Philosopher, BOYS cheat. Men are in control of their actions.
I was married to a boy for 10 years. I am now married to a man. The differences are astonishing.
You should give it a go.
123. Jeri - August 12th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Just like Michael Jackson, Joyce Wilderstein didn’t know when to quit. She should’ve stopped the plastic surgery in the late 90s. She looked most feline in 1998, but that wasn’t enough. Her left eye doesn’t even look real any more in that 2008 picture. Maybe she should’ve talked to the makeup effects people from that one episode of Doctor Who, the one with the cat nursing sisters.
The fish nibbling thing I’ve just heard of, but shame on you if your feet are that horny to begin with.
I thought maybe “maggots in open wounds” would be included, but I guess that’s not a beautifying treatment.
124. Kasee - August 13th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Collagen sources…hmm, whatever happened to re-locating your own? For example, if you don’t want so much in your butt, get someone to suck it out & put a little back in your face??? Or even donate it??!!
125. Philosopher - August 15th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Segue at 122
I will never trust a man again. Will never allow my mind, life, body, soul to be penetrated again. Ever. Self-preservation. All men hurt. All men cheat.
126. segue - August 15th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
125. Philosopher, I felt once as you feel now.
As unlikely as it seems, the anger and the pain will erode. It will take some time. Maybe a long time, but somewhere along life’s path love will find you. I hope, for your sake, that when it does, you’ll be ready.
Right now, no.
Right now, I can feel the heat of your pain right through your words.
Let it be.
Allow the pain and the anger…but remember one crucial point.
ONE man hurt you.
ONE man cheated.
ONE man betrayed your trust.
ONE man.
127. Philosopher - August 15th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Segue at 126
LOTS of men hurt me.
LOTS of men cheated.
LOTS of men betrayed my trust.
LOTS of men.
And to use your distinction, “men” are OK. “Boys” hurt us. That goes in the toilet. Never means Never.I wont do it again. Be raped. Be used. Be anything. HURT!!!
128. segue - August 16th, 2008 at 7:58 am
127. Philosopher, I am deeply sorry for your pain. No one should have to endure what you have.
Still, I stand by my contention that men, that is, men in the sense of those who have accepted responsibility, have decided to lead clear and productive lives, have taken on the aspects of “do unto others” without even having to stop and make the decision, THOSE men (and they exist in numbers far greater than the evil gnomes you’ve encountered) would never treat a woman in less than an honorable fashion.
What I find curious, is that you keep finding the bad ones over and over. The odds are simply against it.
129. Philosopher - August 16th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Segue at 128
John Edwards.
130. Polly Odyssey - August 25th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I’ve heard of most of these…but not the Bull Semen Hair stuff.
Hey, wait! My brother loves messing around with his hair! And his birthday is coming up! I could get some for him! =D
Not only that, but my mom’s birthday is coming soon, and she likes getting pedicures! I could get someone to do the fish pedicure for her! XD
131. mindy - August 28th, 2008 at 12:15 am
A LOT of “anti-aging” or “anti-wrinkle” creams have HUMAN foreskin cells or derivatives in them. To me thats worse than even bull semen. Its from foreskins taken from newborn little boys who have no say in their genital integrity being taken away. Then their genitals are exploited even more by being sold by doctors who profit off of this to cosmetic companies who profit even more. Sickening!
132. Davo - September 4th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Philosopher get off this site and into therapy NOW.
133. frodo - September 6th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
All photoshopped, can’t you guys tell by the pixels? Too many! Just look!
134. SAMURA1 - September 19th, 2008 at 1:11 am
If you are male, could you be your own never-ending supply of leave-in conditioner?
135. Vera Lynn - September 19th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
SAMURA1 That’s too weird. But I suppose it’s also true!
136. Leonie - October 18th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
If you have a wart and you rub it on a slug/snail it cures it.
I had 1 on each thumb and did it and it worked.
But no-one I tell ever believes me!
137. Ellycat - October 21st, 2008 at 11:01 am
Ok, I have to admit it. After reading this list awhile back I happened to be in a store the other day that had a beauty product on close out for wrinkles. I picked it up and saw the incredible #3 Viper Venom as one of the ingredients. I have to admit it. I bought it and have tried it. I actually love it. I don’t know if it is the viper venom or not but its seems to be doing its job…..LOL
138. Katiejh - October 22nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
i’ve been a hairdresser in the uk for 10 years and i thank god that i have never had to rub bull semen into someones hair! great list!
139. notherguitar - November 14th, 2008 at 3:36 am
God I love pig feet. cook them in a preasure cooker for awhile than put a little apple cider vinegar on top and its like heaven
140. Elleoh - November 18th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
i’ve never paid for the fish pedicure…it’s just happened in lakes I have been in…it’s really neat actually…It’s cool that someone else has had the same experience in nature….I wish that I had thought of making it a spa treatment….damn