Top 10 Unfortunate Product Names
Published on October 27, 2007 - 99 Comments
Marketers do a great job of convincing us to buy stuff (often stuff we don’t need) - but through the annals of history they have occasionally gotten things wrong. This is a list of the ten most unfortunately named products.
10. Wii
This has to be included - perhaps the people that devised the name are not familiar with the fact that British English speakers (including most of the Commonwealth) refer to urine as “wee” - for example: “Ooh - I am busting for a wee!” Every time someone mentions a Wii I think of a wee. Crazy! “Let’s play with our wii” really takes on a whole new meaning when you speak British English.
9. Elephant Beautiful Balls
As The Leader in Innovative Billiards, Elephant Balls, Ltd. (EBL) offers a full range of billiard merchandise for the enthusiast at every level. From high quality pool tables and furniture to the most unique ball sets and effective training tools in the world, we have the perfect gift for even the person who has everything. [Of course - who the hell has Elephant balls?! Oh - well, except that Internet Meme squirrel that was passed around a while back.]
8. Gray Poupon
Grey Poupon is a Dijon mustard now made by Kraft Foods. It is currently the best-selling Dijon-style mustard in the United States. Thanks - but no thanks! Here is the original commercial:
7. Sars
This drink, made by Golden Circle unfortunately shares its name with the SARS (Severe acute respiratory syndrome) virus. There have been two pandemics of SARS reported in recent years. The drink is sarsaparilla flavored and is sold in all New Zealand supermarkets (and maybe in other countries where Golden Circle products are found).
6. Jussipussi
An “interesting” bread product by Finnish company primula. Frankly - I am speechless.
5. Kagome
Founded in 1899 by Ichitaro Kanie, a Japanese pioneer in tomato cultivation, Kagome has grown to become the largest producer of Japanese tomato products and a major producer of other fruit and vegetable foods. Unfortunately, in Portuguese and probably Spanish this sounds like “I shit myself”.
4. I.beat Blaxx
Need an mp3 player but don’t like the Apple range of iPods? Look no further than German company Trekstor who produce the I.beat Blaxx. At the time of publishing this article, Trekstor have renamed the black edition of the I.beat to just “Blaxx” - I wonder why.
3. Vagisil
Vagisil is a full line of feminine hygiene products made by Combe Incorporated. In 2007, Vagisil introduced the Vagisil Screening Kit. At least they get straight to the point I guess.
2. Anusol
Anusol is an over-the-counter medication that can be used to treat hemorrhoids (also known as piles). The Anusol range includes creams, ointments, and the popular (WTF!) suppository form of treatment. For those who may not be aware, suppositories are waxy objects you stick up your bum. Let’s hope you don’t need a price check on this one next time you are at the supermarket!
1. Ayds
Ayds (pronounced aids) was a diet candy from the 1980s. The NY Times (1982) reported that the active ingredient in AYDS was phenylpropanolamine - a substance the FDA has now ruled “not recognized as safe”. Here is a bonus - a truly cringe-worthy advert for Ayds:
Can’t get enough? Here is another.
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1. Juggz - October 27th, 2007 at 10:35 am
I still to this day can not fathom the minds of Nintendo giving a consol a name like Wii. It did the job apparently.
2. Emily - October 27th, 2007 at 10:36 am
wow… cool list!
3. Angie - October 27th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Little anecdote somewhat related to #5: In the Latin–American dubbed version of the anime Inuyasha, they changed the protagonist’s name from Kagome to Aome for that same reason.
4. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 10:51 am
Juggz: so it isn’t just the commonwealth English speakers that see this?
Emily: thanks
It was one of the most fun to write too
Angie: haha that is hilarious - I was a bit unsure about that one but now you have confirmed it to be true.
5. dazednconfused - October 27th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Ha, I knew AYDS would be #1!
Kagome doesn’t sound like ‘I shit myself’ in Spanish; it has some of the same letters, but not in the right order. It should be, ‘Me cague’.
6. Ravyn - October 27th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Hehehe…Thank goodness for Ayds….hahahaha…
greate list…that was too funny…Ayds
7. Marrit - October 27th, 2007 at 11:12 am
I’m Dutch, and I can tell you ‘pledge’ does not translate to ‘piss’. The Dutch word for ‘piss’ is ‘plas’ (or just ‘pis’ when being crude). Even at a stretch, the two words don’t sound alike. Hope that helps.
Awesome list, by the way.
8. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Marrit: thanks - what does pledge (the pronunciation) mean in Dutch?
9. christopher borne - October 27th, 2007 at 11:30 am
dazednconfused: doesn’t me follow the verb in certain cases, because I know I’ve heard “Digame” before. Probably in Scarface.
10. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 11:30 am
I have replaced pledge with JussiPussi.
11. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Oh - Happy Amsterdam day Dutch people
(see Today in History - right hand side of the site)
12. Juggz - October 27th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Jamie: No as far as I know most Americans see it in a similiar light. I still remember the day the name was announced. I spedn all day trying to decide if it was a joke or if they were serious.
13. Cyn - October 27th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
jussipussi? OMG
must have actual audio pronounciation of that one
14. Samsung - October 27th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
hilarious list. I tried a canned bevarage in dubai airport called “Pocari Sweat”. That could be elligible for this list
15. lola - October 27th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
This is a similar list, yet even funnier. you must have a look.
http://moronland.net/moronia/moron/1064/
16. Kelsi - October 27th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Hahahaha! JussiPussi. Too funny. Good list, very much enjoyed it. I think I’ve seen the Ayds commercial before.
17. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Samsung: I saw Pocari Sweat in South Korea - it seemed to be quite big there - I had forgotten until you mentioned it - great addition for sure!
lola: I think this one is funnier
But only because I am cool and I wrote this one 
Thanks for the link though - it is a great list.
18. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Cyn: alas I think jussipussi is pronounced just like you are hoping it isn’t
19. Yarr - October 27th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
THANK YOU!!!
I remembered Ayds from a long time ago, but whenever I’ve asked friends if they remembered, they just looked at me funny. I swore it was real, but nobody believed me! I began thinking it might have been a dream or an incomplete memory of something else like Diet Aids or something. Now I know I’m right and they’re wrong, just like always! AWESOME!
BTW- I just went to the website and ordered an Elephant Balls cap. That’s just too classic to pass up!
20. Bryon - October 27th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I don’t think #3 and #2 are “unfortunate” names at all. These products were given these names by design specifically to conjure in consumers minds the association with their intended use. These names were no accident.
#9-Elephant Balls is also a name of a product so given as to stand out in a consumer’s mind.
This is just good marketing.
21. Marrit - October 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
jfrater: pledge doesn’t sound like any Dutch word at all, it probably would be considered an onomatopoeia.
22. Amanda - October 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
My mother always questioned the wisdom of naming the curiously strong mints “altoids”. She says it sounds like something you go to the proctologist for.
Another great list!
23. Rgraham - October 27th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
How about the Chevy NOVA (no go)
24. Hannah - October 27th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Anusol is now called “Tucks” in the US. In fact it’s been Tucks for a loooong time, but recently I saw a box at the store that said “Tucks, previously Anusol”, and I about peed myself laughing!
Jussipussi is the worst though!
25. ImplosiveFire - October 27th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
christopher borne: “me” sometimes follows a verb in Spanish but it never goes before the verb. So dazednconfused is right, it would have to be “me cago” or “me cague”.
Also, you know those Mitsubishi 4WDs “Pajero”? They’re called Montero in Spanish-speaking countries because pajero means wanker in Spanish xD
26. a_marie - October 27th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I saw the “ayds” ad on webjunk20 back when patrice o’neal was the host and i could not stop laughing!
Jussipussi was definitely the worst lol.
27. aplspud - October 27th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Not a product, but there’s a private chain of burger joints in the Seattle area called “Dick’s” leading many teenagers to giggle while coyly declaring “I love Dick’s…burgers!”
28. Kelsi - October 27th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
aplspud: Perhaps you’re familiar with Dick’s sporting goods as well? That one always makes me quietly but immaturely amused.
29. Samsung - October 27th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Not quite in the league of the items in this list but I remember being shocked to find there is a fast food chain in the UK called “wimpy burger” - what were the marketing people thinking
30. Angie - October 27th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
ImplosiveFire: I’m a native speaker from México and I can tell you that Kagome can be (mis)read as “Cágome”* which is another way of saying “me cago”, still first person, present tense though this time with the clitic pronoun “me” attached at the end. It does happen. Maybe that one it’s not as common (to me, it’s more like an old-fashioned way of phrasing), but there are many other examples:
Deséame suerte -> “Wish me luck”
Tómame -> “Take me”
Cómeme -> “Eat me”
Bébeme -> “Drink me”
Súbeme -> “Pull me up”
* more often than not on purpose, I’d say.
31. jfrater - October 27th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
Yarr: #19: glad to be of service
Bryon: #20 - that is my point though - I don’t WANT those images to be conjured up in my mind every time I go to a store that sells those products!
Thanks for the additions guys - it is funny how car companies seem to get it wrong so often when it comes to international names.
32. jfrater - October 28th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Angie: Thanks for the confirmation on the language issue - very helpful
33. mowi - October 28th, 2007 at 3:51 am
omfg, look at the other names from tekstors mp3 players http://trekstor.de/de/products/mp3.php
i.beat emo
i.beat pink
i.beat dieter bohlen (the german Simon Cowell)
34. jfrater - October 28th, 2007 at 4:40 am
mowi: hahah - they need to fire their marketing department
35. rp - October 28th, 2007 at 11:11 am
For some reason, I suddenly crave bread.
36. conni - October 28th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Samsung, I’m sure they were thinking of the old Popeye cartoons that had a character named Wimpy who loved hamburgers. He would say, ” I’ll glady pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
37. ImplosiveFire - October 28th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Angie: I’m a native speaker too, I’m from Argentina and although your point is quite valid, I’ve never heard of the “me” being put after “cago” because when you say cago you are referring to yourself, and by adding the “me” is like your asking some other person to do it for you: “hey, could you shitting myself me?”. See, the verb is in the wrong tense. It would have to be “cagame”.
38. Parahnus - October 28th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Never Heard Of iBeat Blaxx Before I Need To Venture Outside More
39. Morgaine - October 29th, 2007 at 1:21 am
ImplosiveFire: Yes, of course the “me” after the verb is no longer used, as Angie said, it would sound like a 16th century sentence :P, but anyway I also understood “cágome” before reading the explanation, it’s the first thing that comes to your mind (and, speaking of a tomato juice, it’s quite an unfortunate name, hehe)
And yes, the “Pajero” thing is true, it’s sold here as “Montero” XD
40. jason - October 29th, 2007 at 4:59 am
“Cool-Piss” is a carbonated yoghurt drink thats been in korea for decades. Ask your Korean friends- they don’t understand the absurdity.
41. Gryphon - October 29th, 2007 at 5:15 am
Hey jason
are you maybe referring to calpus pronounced “cowpiss” a carbonated energy drink found in japan.
Cool list
42. B.S. - October 29th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
As an American English speaker, Wii didn’t give me any pause whatsoever. In fact, I think it’s cute: Wii would like to play; the letters “I” look like little people. I like it. Now, if it were called Wii Wii…
Also, jfrater, you seem a little fixated on the 80s. I was going to mention it when I read the 80s TV show list, which includes many shows that utterly represent my 70s childhood, regardless of any 80s spillover (One Day at a Time, Eight is Enough, and CHiPs to name a few.) Now I must speak up - my grandmother let me eat her Ayds as an afterschool snack in the mid-seventies.
Amanda #22 - I’ve always thought the same thing. “Ooh, my altoids burst!”
Thanks for another fun list.
43. jfrater - October 29th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
B.S.: you think so? I haven’t noticed the bias myself though I did grow up in the 80s - perhaps it is showing - certainly not intentional though. I can’t believe your grandmother let you eat her diet candy!!! That is hilarious.
44. B.S. - October 29th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
jfrater, when she was dieting, the cookie cupboard could be a real wasteland, and if I whined enough for a snack, that’s what I got. They were tasty enough, I suppose - like mediocre fudge.
You know, since I brought it up, I think I may have a 70s fixation.
45. jfrater - October 29th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
B.S.: hehe - feel free to write a 70s list
46. joshua - October 30th, 2007 at 3:07 am
nintendo should call the wii’s replacement “number twos” to continue the theme
47. jfrater - October 30th, 2007 at 3:20 am
joshua: heh thought it but didn’t want to say it
48. Bear - October 30th, 2007 at 9:34 am
It took a while for me to understand what was funny about Jussipussi. Being Finnish myself I didn’t get the joke at first. Jussipussi is pronounced exactly as it is written. The letter “j” is pronounced the same way as the “y” in “Boris Yeltsin” (for the lack of a better example). And the letters “s” are prounounced as two different letters instead of one. As in “dissolved”. Thus the word “Jussi” will sound more like “you see” instead of “juicy”..
Jussi is considered an old finnish peasant or a farmer’s name. Basically someone who would farm and make bred.
Pussi means bag or a pouch. So in Finnish it’s a farmers bag of bread.
Nice pages though.
49. jfrater - October 30th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Bear: thanks for the translation
I figured it must be something like that.
50. someone - October 30th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I don’t know about spanish, but I speak portuguese and I can tell you for sure that Kagome is read just like ‘cago-me’, an expression in portuguese that means, just like you said, ‘I shit myself’, so you were right..
funny list
51. Tats - October 30th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Bawls should’ve been on the list. Can result in an awkward situation if you’re saying it pertaining ownership.
“Can you grab my Bawls?”
52. Judit - October 31st, 2007 at 1:00 am
God I love number 1!!! I can’t stop laughing. That ad is the funniest thing. ‘Thank goodness for Ayds’ LOL!
53. AndyB123 - November 3rd, 2007 at 7:15 am
In Swedish, pitt means “dick”, which makes Brad Pitt funny, for a change. And who can forget the king of stupid names, ie, the planet Uranus.
Not brand names, but funny nontheless.
54. Joseph2 - November 4th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Fanny = brand of strawberry jam in Peru
Cock = brand of Thai fish sauce sold in France
55. jfrater - November 4th, 2007 at 8:38 am
AndyB123: haha - Brad Dick - excellent.
Joseph2: Great additions - thanks
56. the fatbasturd - November 6th, 2007 at 2:51 am
Anyone remember a liquid cheese sauce from the ’80s/90’s called “Squeeze Cheese”? Yeah. Food named after a fart. Also related there was a commercial for a fast food Mexican resteraunt chain (Taco Mayo, I believe) that had a line in the jingle “Monday, do the taco two-step…” which I had always heard as a euphamism for the runs.
57. LePetiteMort - November 8th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Me and my friend both made HEAPS of wee jokes when she got her Wii.
“Can I come play with you Wii?”
“Certainly. you have to hold my Wii properly though.”
“I won’t drop your Wii.”
xD
58. Anya - November 9th, 2007 at 10:19 am
The first time I came across a packet of Bimbo bread, I bought it, ate it and saved the wrapper for *months!*
59. jfrater - November 9th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Anya: I had a friend whose car license plate said “Bimbo” - it was worth more than the car!
60. Ashley - November 13th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
We also have a drink by Golden Circle in NZ that is called “sarsaparilla”… I don’t know if there is any difference in taste (not really interested in drinking SARS) but, I wonder, if they already have the sarsaparilla, what is the SARS drink supposed to be flavoured now?
61. jfrater - November 13th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Ashley - when I was last in Wellington (one year ago), New World was still selling SARS in the drinks aisle - it was sarsaparilla flavor - I wonder if they have finally renamed it because of the SARS outbreak.
62. Ashley - November 14th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Sorry, what I meant is that they have BOTH
I was just confused because since they have one called “sarsaparilla” and one called “SARS” … I guess they are both the same flavour?
63. dofnup - November 20th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
What, no Nads? (depilatory wax)
64. Dandelion - November 23rd, 2007 at 12:23 pm
What’s wrong with Jussipussi?
It’s really not that funny in Finnish. Ok, maybe we’re just weird in Finland.
65. jfrater - November 23rd, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Dandelion: maybe not funny in Finnish - but highly risque in English
dofnup: haha I had forgotten about that product! I have seen it on store shelves.
Ahsley: they must be because Sars is Sarsaparilla flavor.
66. ChicagoCindy - December 1st, 2007 at 12:19 am
The first time I saw Clamato (clam and tomato juice), I thought it sounded like a venereal disease…
http://www.clamato.com
67. suzi - December 12th, 2007 at 3:32 am
Oh Cindy, I totaly agree about Clamato!
68. jbjr - December 30th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
#6 is outrageous.
69. barb - January 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
#6 hiiiiilarious! Kill me now, I’m dying, that is too funny!!
I remember first time I heard of “spotted dick” I thought some guy needed to get to a doctor fast!
Reminds me… Not sure if it’s around anymore, but not far from where I grew up, there was this local hamburger joint called “Doodie’s Diner” - I kid you not - and there was this elderly woman who would go there and order a “Doodie burger” (NOT actually on the menu). The carhops would look at her like she was crazy, but there they were, working at Doodie’s!
70. Liyla - January 4th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Luv The List, I Found Number 1 Hilarious!! :o)
71. jane - January 8th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Haha…but what about RC cola? Gross
72. Azmerelda - January 14th, 2008 at 9:38 am
What about the drink called bawls and its sold in America and to top it off it is in a blue colored bottle. Hahaha blue bawls. I love the list hilarious!
73. Nancy - January 23rd, 2008 at 4:42 am
Well, I’m from Argentina and a couple of years ago my boyfriend went to Mexico and saw a candy called “Dulce de cajeta”… The thing is that “cajeta” is another way to say vagina in our country… “Vagina Syrup”???? Gross!!
74. albert0 - January 26th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
quite delectable actually
75. albert0 - January 26th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
lol
76. albert0 - January 26th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
btw that was a joke
77. Maru - January 28th, 2008 at 7:31 am
I’m from Argentina and let me tell you that “KAGOME” in fact sounds like “i shit myself” but kind of backwards. if it were MEKAGO it would mean “i shit myself” but we have an habit of saying things like KAGOMEKAGOMEKAGOME so it could sound like “i shit myself” i hope i express myself well. Sorry my written english isn’t so nice. Have a nice day, i loooooooove this web =D
78. sevenlies - January 28th, 2008 at 8:15 am
in canada we have a clothing company called roots, which i understand is hilarious in australia.
79. jfrater - January 28th, 2008 at 8:21 am
sevenlies: when used as a verb, the word in Australia and NZ means the same as “to have sex” - but as a noun it is known in the same way as everywhere else - the bottom part of a tree or a persons heritage
80. sevenlies - January 28th, 2008 at 9:13 am
well, we must look like right idiots walking around with ROOTS written proudly on our chests, then. especially when placed over a large image of a beaver.
um, the animal, not… you know.
81. jfrater - January 28th, 2008 at 9:17 am
sevenlies: haha that changes things a little
82. cryndigo - January 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
What’s bad about Grey Poupon?
83. Jan Palfijn - January 31st, 2008 at 8:49 am
We have, here in Belgium, in every city sandwich shops named “Panos”. It is in every shopping-area far out the most popular snackbar.
But Russians (they live mostly in Antwerp) don’t go inside.
Panos is Russian for “diarrheoa”
84. magnidude - January 31st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
What about German lightbulbs producing company OSRAM? Let me cite the Polish Wikipedia on this:
“Because of the company’s name giving quite obvious connotations in Polish langauage, it has been (even since before II World War) the subject of not always subtle jokes and anecdotes. However, it seems that it hasn’t damaged the company’s image, it could be even a major contributing factor in making the brand widely recognised.”
In polish the verb “srać” means “to shit” and “osram” is one of its common forms meaning sth like “I shall shit on (sth/sb)”. Hilarious, isn’t it?
85. Tracia - February 2nd, 2008 at 12:14 am
cryndigo:
Look at it this way: Grey Poupon= GREY POOP ON…your sandwich.
86. Frazzzld - February 7th, 2008 at 2:54 am
Not too long ago the drugstore chain CVS had some perfume called Fuk Her. But they recently got rid of that one.
87. Denzell - February 19th, 2008 at 3:20 am
I would like to suggest Caronia Nail Polish: Passion for Color (if you ever heard of such a product). ahem… Okay, I’m not a girl, but I sure know that “caronia” is a vulgar Latin word meaning “carcass”, or dead body. That is actually the word where “carrion” came from.
carrion- [sense 1] decaying human flesh, especially when used as food by necrophagi (people who practice necrophagia, otherwise known as the consumption of decaying human flesh. For more info, see item no. 1 in top 10 bizarre eating habits.)
- [sense 2] anything very disgusting or repulsive
88. Kirstin - February 20th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I don’t get the Vagisil one?
89. sir… - March 4th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
The wii is still cool though!
90. Simons - March 21st, 2008 at 7:58 am
LOL #6 IS THE BEST
91. Dreamer101 - April 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 am
obviously the next generation of Nintendo console will be called the Puu.
92. Eponine - April 7th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I’m so happy Wii is on there! I have one, and everytime someone wants to play on it I force them to say “Please may I play with your wee?”
Never grows old!
93. Ron - April 9th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I’ve got one to add to this…it’s an acid reflux product called Aciphex….pronounced “ass effects”
See the ad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygzILmBluUE
94. tyrotoxism - May 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 am
Dreamer101- good one!
Denzell- yup, I’ve heard of Caronia nail polish. In fact, I use it on my nails. You got me interested when you stated there that “caronia” is a Latin word for dead body. Really?
So I checked, and here’s the etymology of “carrion” from dictionary.com:
[Middle English careine, from Anglo-Norman, from Vulgar Latin *carōnia, from Latin carō, flesh; see sker-1 in Indo-European roots.]
btw, caronia is “flesh”, which may also be considered as “dead body.”
So, the stuff I’ve been putting on my nails is Vulgar Latin for flesh, especially the rotten one? OMG!
95. Taija - May 11th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Aha, finally I understand what’s so funny about Jussipussi. We pronounce it so differently in finnish that it was hard to think of it from your point of view.
#4 made me laugh out loud. How could anyone come up with such a name?
96. jajdude - May 17th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Yeah, “Coolpis” is a good one. “Pocari Sweat” is not bad either. (google images no doubt has these)