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Top 10 British Comedy Songs

Simon Arms . . . Comments

This list looks at some of the best comedy songs released in Britain in the last 50 years. Since the renaissance period, man has used music as a form of comedy and the modern times are no exception. Here are the top 10 British Comedy Songs.

1. The Fastest Milkman in the West – Benny Hill


This song reached number 1 and stayed there for 4 weeks. It is typical Benny Hill.

See the “Funniest Man on Television” over and over again with Benny Hill: The Complete Megaset at!

2. ‘Ello John, Got a New Motor – Alexei Sayle


Alexei Sayle is famous for the anarchic comedy the Young Ones, but deserves a lot of recognition for this track. It shows just how alternative the charts could be in the early eighties in England.

3. With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock – George Formby


George Formby was a pioneer of early comedy songs and famous for his double entendres. His songs may seem a little tame nowadays, but the BBC banned his tune Cleaning Windows for being too suggestive. Strangely With My Stick of Blackpool Rock is far worse.

4. Every Sperm is Sacred – Monty Python


There were many Monty Python songs, but this is one of the funniest. Many religious people were not overly impressed.

Watch every hilarious moment in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life at!

5. The Chicken Song – Spitting Image


“Skin… your-… self alive;
?Learn to speak Arapho;
?Climb inside a dog
?And behead an Eskimo!
?Eat a Renault 4;
?Wear salami in your ears;
?Casserole your Gran;
?Disembowel yourself with spears!”

Released in 1986 and hitting number 1, this is another example of how alternative the UK charts were in the eighties. Spitting Image was a deeply satirical TV show using vile looking puppets to parody celebrities and politicians. The Chicken Song is a spoof of catchy novelty songs and the bizarre chorus stays in your head for days.

6. The Ying Tong Song – The Goons


The hilarious Goons Show in the fifties was where Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan made their name. This song is a good example of their surrealist humor.

7. Jilted John – Graham Fellows


Graham Fellows is an underrated comic, mostly because his humor is so subtle. Like his other creation, John Shuttleworth, Jilted John is funnier the more you watch it. Jilted John is a rare example of someone daring to parody punk in the seventies. And he was young too.

8. Do the Funky Gibbon – The Goodies


This song is so stupid that you really do not want to find it funny, but unfortunately you cannot help but laugh along to their good-natured antics. The Goodies released a few songs into the charts including A Man’s Best Friend is a Duck.

9. Lily the Pink – Scaffold


An Interesting band that included poet Richard McGough and Paul Mc Cartney’s brother Michael. The song begins relatively straight, but deteriorates into something quite bizarre. It stayed at number 1 for four weeks in 1968.

10. Divorce – Billy Connelly


Billy Connelly based this on a song by Tammy Wynette about two people who spell out the word divorce when they want to discuss it in front of their child. Billy Connelly replaces the child with a dog.

Contributor: Simon Arms

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  • Joe

    Hermans Hermits’ “Henry the 8th I Am” is pretty funny, don’t know if it was a hit in Britain though.

  • Joe: I have heard of the Hermits and the song but haven’t heard the song. I am not from Britain though so I don’t know whether the British would know it.

    • Steve

      of course us brits have heard of the band and the song…….the Hermits just happend to be a british band

    • Peter Sheeran

      Im Enery the Eighth I am, Enery the Eighth I am I am
      I got married to the widow next door, she’s been married 7 times before
      And everyone was an Enery – she would’t have a Willy or a Sam …

  • curious jim

    what about Napoleon XIV – theyre coming to take me away?

  • rpenberg

    Thanks for the Alexei Sayle video, loved his standup and his work on “Young Ones”. Now I have to go to youtube and try to find his bit about the taxi driver, a true classic.

  • rpenberg

    Whoot! found it: .. Alexis starts at about 1:30 of the clip and does a solid 4min

  • Christopher Swyer

    Wow! What a list! Haha!

    It’s been a LONG time since I heard the Chicken Song… takes me back to my school days! :-)

  • Christopher Swyer – Jarrow

    And if every sperm actually IS sacred like the Pythons say, then I’m definately going to HELL! Haha!

  • Barb

    I would like to add ‘Living Doll’ by Cliff Richard and the Young Ones. “Well I feel sorry for the elephant.”

  • Barb: I used to love that song.

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  • slipstick

    What about Tongue Tied or the Theme from Red Dwarf?

  • Every Sperm is Sacred IS a classic, but how about “I’m a Lumberjack?” (Python)

  • miss_ali1984

    Man, it’s good to see that someone else knows about all these British comedians! :-D
    Alexi Sayle is the best. Anyone seen “Stuff”?
    I think Python should have their own song list.
    Hey, George Formby reminds me of Arthur Atkinson from The Fast Show! Where’s me washboard, eh?

  • Vodie

    I was waiting for “Combine Harvester” by the Wurzels. Their genre is literally “Scrumpy and Western”.

    I too wanted to see the Lumberjack song from Python up there.
    Perhaps in a future list? (I smell a trilogy, much like the Bizarre Video trilogy)

  • Deano

    What about “Little Miss Munter” by Inherent Woods. Hilarious!!! Should be a karaoke classic. check out the video on YouTube!!!!

  • me!

    what about Hugh Laurie´s “mistery”???? that one is great!

  • warningdontreadthis

    Jfrater: Nice to see a Pyton song here. Well I would have killed you if there were none. But why every sperm is sacred(it is a great song) and not “Always look on the bright side of life”?

    By the way you should really look at some of the Fry and Laurie stuff
    Steffi Graff
    And Little Girl very funny songs. :D

  • TAFF

    How about The Monks “nice legs shame about the face”

  • pocket_lime

    You need some Mighty Boosh up there post haste!!!

  • thirtytwo

    Jilted John :-D

  • Riddler

    No mention of Jasper Carrott’s kick-starter, ‘Funky Moped’ — No 5 in 1975. For shame!

  • Daisy

    what about bill bailey? in his stand up shows he does some of the most hilarious songs

    • Patricia

      yeah, the one about the breakup from 'Part Troll'! BEST LINE " The Duck lies shredded in a pancake" gets me every time!!

  • pmw

    What a great list! Are there any from way back, e.g. Laurel & Hardy’s Lonesome Pine or even earlier?

  • Jess

    What? No Bonzo Dog Band? No list of comedic British songs is complete without them!

  • Ed

    If you like comedy songs or fancy yourself as a musical comedian – the Musical Comedy Awards are coming! Website will be up from mid Jan at, people can upload original comedy songs and potentially get nominated to perform at the Pleasance Theatre in London on April 11th and win £1,000. Check it out!

  • dav

    What about Monty Python’s The Philosopher’s Song?

  • Copaface

    The Firm – Star Trekkin’
    Mr Blobby – The Blobby Song


  • Nikki

    hahaha typical i would know quite a few of these, speaking as a brit:D
    ” i gotta brandnew combine harvester and i ll give you the key”

  • Nikki

    ooh “star trekkin across the universe” :D
    Dont get me started on the blobby song

  • Michael Ennis

    I like the list, but some of the links are broken. I can think of a few songs that can go on this list but the title is Top 10 so I won’t bother… :)

  • AMuseInACage

    Why isn’t the Penis song on here, also by Monty Python, from the same movie as the Sperm song “Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?/Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?/It’s swell to have a stiffy./It’s divine to own a dick,/From the tiniest little tadger/To the world’s biggest prick./So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas./Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,/Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,/Your Percy, or your cock./You can wrap it up in ribbons./You can slip it in your sock,/But don’t take it out in public,/Or they will stick you in the dock,/And you won’t come back. “

  • Lilipad

    “I’m Henery the Eighth, I Am” was originally a 1910 British music hall song by Fred Murray and R. P. Weston. It was a signature song of music hall star Harry Champion

  • Darkie

    looking for ***When Father Painted the Parlor*** sung by Harry Champion,any helpersout there??

  • Lilipad

    R. P. Weston, 1878-1936
    Our parlor wanted papering,
    And Pa says it was waste
    To call a paperhanger in,
    And so he made some paste.
    He bought some rolls of paper,
    Got a ladder and a brush
    And with my mummy’s nightgown on,
    At it he made a rush.

    When Father papered the parlour
    You couldn’t see him for paste
    Dabbing it here! dabbing it there!
    Paste and paper everywhere
    Mother was stuck to the ceiling
    The children stuck to the floor
    I never knew a blooming family
    So ‘stuck up’ before.

    The pattern was ‘blue roses’
    with its leaves red, white, and brown;
    He’d stuck it wrong way up and now,
    we all walk upside down.
    And when he trimm’d the edging
    off the paper with the shears,
    The cat got underneath it,
    and dad cut off both its ears.
    Chorus: Soon dad fell down the stairs
    and dropp’d his paperhanger’s can
    On little Henrietta sitting there
    with her young man,
    The paste stuck them together,
    as we thought t’would be for life,
    We had to fetch the parson in
    to make them man and wife.

    We’re never going to move away
    from that house any more
    For Father’s gone and stuck the chairs
    and table to the floor,
    We can’t find our piano,
    though it’s broad and rather tall,
    We think that it’s behind the paper
    Pa stuck on the wall.

    Now, Father’s sticking in the pub,
    through treading in the paste,
    And all the family’s so upset,
    they’ve all gone pasty faced.
    While Pa says, now that Ma has spread
    the news from north to south,
    He wishes he had dropped a blob
    of paste in Mother’s mouth.

  • Peter Breen

    Sayles lyrics:

    Rich peopel dont know how to dance or party on the dancefloor
    Thats something that you only learn when you are destitute and poor
    But come the glorious day just like they had in France
    Well string them from the lamposts and watch them bastards dance
    By God well watch them bastards dance

    Rock on Alexsi

  • Terry Bolton

    Get a load of Gid Taylor’s ‘All the little fairies’ ‘Let’s Morris”At the club tonight’ and’The Songwriter’

  • Cthulhu

    Remember the little funny song put out soon after the lovely series ‘Doctor Finlay’s Casebook’.
    Can’t remember all that much of it, but one set of four verses goes:
    ‘He insists on modern methods
    in the Medical dominion,
    but as the man with the wooden leg said,
    ‘It’s a matter of opinion!’

    Can anyone help with the rest?

  • Cthulhu

    Was also very pleased to see Monty Python front and centre. I am a very long-standing python addict, and even longer lying down!

  • Bo??Bep?y?c?

    ????? ?? ???-?????, ?? ??????????, ??? ???? ????? ?? ??????????? ?????? ??? ????? ??????

  • Milo

    How about Bill Bailey’s song about his Ex-Girlfriend? LOL



  • i4gotmymantra

    Extremely happy to see that a few of my fellow Fry&Laurie fans beat me to it, but yeah, check those out.

    My personal favorite being “Where is the Lid?”

  • Buddy

    Does anybody remember a singer named Tommy Burns (I think)? Somewhere I have a CD of Florence Foster Jenkins and since she only recorded a few songs they had to fill up the remainder of the CD with an operatic duet that he recorded. But his recordings of pop tunes were terrific. He wasn't given credit on the CD.

  • charles

    What about Tsai Chin singing the delicately dirty song, "School in Cheltenham"? I'd love to hear this again and have been hunting it for months…anybody know where I can find it?

    • Marlene

      In highschool Queen’s I’m going stlghily mad was my theme song’ *laugh* in University it was Love & Rockets So Alive now I’ve got a bunch depending on my mood and the moment but Show Must Go On will always have very strong connections and imagery for me.

  • Vitalir


  • diane

    Im looking for an old song with the line
    “our canary sang a little love song
    first thing in the morning till its time for bed our canary singsa little love songtweet tweet tweet you hear him cry ,asthe the sun rises in the morning skyour canary sang a little love song etc
    my father had it on an old disc made mid 1930s

  • defukdto

    the wurzels – iv got a brand new combine harvester

  • Chris Prangnell

    I am looking for a signature tune that went :

    idely widdley dinky dink Iddlie winky do I Love you
    idely widdley dinky dink Iddlie winky do Love me too
    I love you in the morning
    I love you in the night
    I love you when it’s bed time and we both turn out the light
    idely widdley dinky dink Iddlie winky do I Love you

    Or some words akin to these I think an old time comedian duo

    Any Ideas ?

  • Jenny

    does anyone know this song with the words
    ‘we sat there in this cafe
    an hour or two went by
    a garcon in a vest was giving her the eye – the dirty swine

    I can’t find it anywhere – did I make it up

  • Hecebeaseheme


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