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Top 10 Clowns You Don’t Want To Mess With

Jamie Frater . . . Comments

First off, apologies to all with coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) – this list is entirely dedicated to the subject. I am neither afraid nor a fan of clowns, but there is something about the concept which I find strangely unsettling. Even the happiest clowns seem to have something not quite right beneath the surface. Perhaps this is the reason that so many people are afraid of them. In this list we look at ten fictional and non-fictional clowns that should be familiar to most.

10

Krusty

Krusty-The-Clown

Krusty the clown should be well known to everyone reading this list. He is, of course, one of the characters from the popular television program The Simpsons. Krusty is famous for being loved by all the kids for his humorous antics on the screen, whilst being rather different offscreen. Krusty is a hard-living entertainment veteran, sometimes depicted as a jaded, burned out has-been, who has been down and out several times and remains addicted to gambling, cigarettes, alcohol, Percodan, Pepto-Bismol, and Xanax. He instantly becomes depressed as soon as the cameras stop rolling. Krusty wastes money almost as fast as he earns it: lighting his cigarettes with hundred-dollar bills; eating condor-egg omelets; spending huge sums on pornographic magazines; and losing a fortune gambling on everything from horse races to operas to betting against the Harlem Globetrotters. So why is Krusty on this list? For the simple reason that a person who takes copious amounts of drugs and booze, and sells products that kill (cereal with a jagged metal Krusty-O in each box) – can never be trusted!

9

Pulcinella

Screen Shot 2010-05-05 At 10.23.21 Am

Pulcinella, (often called Punch or Punchinello in English) is a classical character that originated in the commedia dell’arte of the 17th century – a form of professional masked theatre. His main characteristic, from which he acquired his name, is his extremely long nose, which resembles a beak. His traditional temperament is to be mean, vicious, and crafty: his main mode of defense is to pretend to be too stupid to know what’s going on, and his secondary mode is to physically beat people. Pulcinella has appeared in a round about way in modern fiction as well; Konrad Beezo and his son Punchinello are the antagonists in the novel Life Expectancy, by Dean Koontz. While by no means the most evil of clowns on this list, Pulcinella can be said to be a progenitor of the evil clown genre and definitely deserves an entry here.


8

Ronald McDonald

Ronald-Mcdonald-Is-Arrested-In

This is no joke. Ronald McDonald, the famous mascot for the fast food joint is a clown you don’t want to mess with! The reason, however, is slightly different from some of the other entries here. Most countries with McDonald’s have a Ronald McDonald actor who will often be hired for children’t parties. Because he is so famous and drives kids wild, he travels with an entourage of bodyguards – other McDonald’s staff who are trained in the job. Now this is where the danger comes in. If you are a kid and you get too close to Ronald, the bodyguards are trained to keep you back – with violence. My cousin was trained as a bodyguard and the methods he was taught included pinching children and stamping on their feet. So remember – next time you see Ronald, keep your distance. You might end up injured. Incidentally, in case you can’t tell, the photo above is of Ronald McDonald being arrested by the New Zealand police.

7

Doink

Doinktheclown

In the early 1990s, an evil clown character was featured in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF). Doink the Clown was portrayed as a villain early on in his career. He would do cruel things such as pop children’s balloons with a cigar, splash water on the audience, and use a fake prosthetic arm to attack opponents. Once he even attacked an opponent with a car battery. His entrance theme music was a typical happy circus tune (“Entrance of the Gladiators”) which would quickly segue into dark and menacing music, complete with evil cackling sound effects.


6

Killer Clowns

Killer Klowns9

A list like this would not be complete without the Killer Clowns from Outer Space who star in the movie of the same name. An army of sadistic extraterrestrial life forms (who resemble clowns) land their circus tent ship in the sleepy American town of Crescent Cove. The Klown Army advances into Crescent Cove, inflicting a genocide during their occupation. They harvest the unsuspecting population, blasting random victims with a ray gun that cocoons them with cotton candy, with lethal results. The Klown Army uses a variety of seemingly innocent methods to ensnare their victims such as killer shadow puppets, bloodhound-like balloon animals and a ray gun that looks like a child’s toy. Since the methods themselves appear whimsical, the townspeople don’t know they are in danger until it’s too late. It isn’t quality, it isn’t serious, but it sure is ridiculously funny.

5

Ubu Roi

Screen Shot 2010-05-05 At 12.18.24 Pm

Ubu Roi (King Ubu) is a play by Alfred Jarry, premiered in 1896. It is one of the precursors to the Theatre of the Absurd and the greater surrealist art movement of the early twentieth century. The main character Ubu (who is certainly a clown-like figure) lives in a world of greedy self-gratification. He is an antihero — fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, cruel, cowardly and evil. Like Macbeth, Ubu murders the king who helped him on the urging of his wife, usurps his throne and is in turn defeated and killed by his son. In its first performance, after only the first word (“merdre”, the French word for “shit”, with an extra “R”) a riot broke out and the play was banned from the stage so it moved to a puppet theatre. It has since had a very popular revival in theatre.


4

Poltergeist Clown

Poltergeistclown

Those of you who have seen the excellent horror series “Poltergeist” will remember the clown scene in which the young boy is assaulted by his toy clown. There is not a great deal of information available on this scene but the image above should suffice to remind you all how horrifying it was. The scene has been parodied in both Family Guy and Scary Movie 2 (in which the clown sexually assaults his victim). The famous clown scene is not the best in the film, but it is certainly one that makes it worth seeing.

3

The Joker

The Dark Knight Joker

The Joker is the famous wicked character from the Batman stories. Probably the most sinister portrayal of the character was the most recent by the late Heath Ledger who managed to bring a much more believable evil to the screen. Throughout his original comic book appearances, the Joker was portrayed as a master criminal whose characterization varied from that of a violent psychopath to a goofy trickster-thief. His appearance is not typical of most clowns but he shares sufficient traits with them that he should certainly to be included in the genre. The origin of his looks varies from source to source, but the most common is that he fell into a vat of chemical waste which bleached his skin, turned his hair green, and made his lips bright red.


2

Pennywise

Pennywise-Clown-It

Pennywise is the shapeshifting eponymous character from the Stephen King book It. In the overall scheme of King’s writing, It comes from part of the greater universe that also encompasses some of his other writings. While It appears mainly as a clown (particularly when stalking children) it also appears as a giant spider. Humans never truly see its full form as it “naturally” exists beyond the physical realm in a place called the “deadlights”. Every thirty years, It comes back to life to terrorize and destroy. At the end of the novel, It is revealed to be female and it lays eggs.

1

Pogo

Screen Shot 2010-05-05 At 10.02.45 Am

Pogo had to be number one on this list for one very good reason: if you messed with him, you really would end up dead. Pogo was the name of the clown character used by John Wayne Gacy to make connections with young men so he could rape, torture, and murder them. Gacy taught himself how to apply clown makeup and made all his own costumes. In a strangely ironic way, he intentionally painted his mouth with sharp corners instead of the normal round corners which are generally preferred so as to not frighten children. Gacy performed countless times at local children’s parties and hospitals. There is no doubt he epitomizes the concept of the “evil clown”. Pogo’s death toll is 25 – 30.

Jamie Frater

Jamie is the owner and chief-editor of Listverse. He spends his time working on the site, doing research for new lists, and collecting oddities. He is fascinated with all things historic, creepy, and bizarre.

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  • fendabenda

    Although not a clown film per se, I recommend Paul Leni's 1928 masterpiece "The Man Who Laughs" to anyone interested in movie history. It's about a guy who is punished for some misdemeanour (I forget what) by cutting his face so that he seems to be grinning constantly. (A bit like The Joker, I guess). But that's only the beginning of the story. The film has Conrad Veidt starring as the "man who laughs, he played the somnambulist murderer in the classic "Cabinet of Dr.Caligari".http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0019130/

    • brian

      “The Man Who Laugh” was credited as one of the inspirations for the Joker. I’m surprised it wasn’t mentioned?

      another for the list: ever see Discovery’s “A Haunting” episode called “Fear House”? The youngest son describes seeing the entity as an “evil clown” with bright red hair, an over-large smile and no eyes. There is an EVP of “I like the little boy”, which I find ironic, as the “little boy” is now almost 7′ tall! lol

  • bluesman87

    This list kicks ass , the pic for no.1 is amazing -jesus what a scary sonofabitch.

  • matthew

    I really like the recent episode of The Simpsons where Krusty gets married. I think it was a tasteful “20 years episode.”

    So I guess I don’t really mind Krusty now : )

  • Julius

    You should have put a warning for people with Coulrophobia in front :-) Why did that Ronald McDonald in the picture get arrested? For advertising junk food? :-) Killer Clowns from Outer Space sounds completely ridiculous…even “The Shaft” (A movie about a killer elevator) sounds more plausible than that…I loved It one of my favourite Stephen King novels… As for Pogo….never trust a clown with sharp edges in his Makeup :-)
    Why so serious? ;-)

    • enragedwalrus

      Top 10 Clowns You Don’t Want To Mess With isnt warning enough?

  • have you ever seen ‘shakes, the clown’? — bobcat goldthwait plays a kid’s party clown who kinda just goes through the motions of day-to-day work, having to kiss the asses of the kids and the parents alike, turning to the bottle often while he’s still at the parties, and drinking himself into oblivion — robin williams has a funny part in this film, playing a mime instructor — (they portray the clowns and the mimes as bitter rivals, and williams is hysterical).

    anyway, i guess its a comedy, but its more of a “dude spiraling out of control” type movie, replete with shakes getting piss drunk and hitting rock bottom all the time.

    truth is…its not *that* great of a movie — interesting idea, shitty execution

    however, a raging drunken clown, going through severe anger management issues, is one *definately* not to fuck with

  • SwarK

    never realized it before but i think i’m afraid of clowns now…

  • AndeeSA

    Very disturbing list indeed!!!!

  • @Julius [3]: “Why did that Ronald McDonald in the picture get arrested? For advertising junk food?”

    –hahaha – that picture was taken in new zeland 10-15 years ago…. i remember seeing that story, because when i saw that picture, i had the same idea you did :)

    he was arrested during a protest aimed at getting mcd’s to stop serving chicken that had been raised on genetically modified feed. they had so much pressure from greenpeace, along with other orginazitions, that by 2000 or 2001 they banned genetically engineered chicken feed at their chicken farms in europe. by 2005, if im not mistaken, mcdonald’s disallowed g.e.food, company wide

  • @#$!

    _Scariest List_ of all times.

    Pogo = Evil Incarnate.

  • bluesman87

    @Julius [3]: There isnt exactly a warning but there is an apology in front. . .

  • I’ve gotta ask, how come ICP didn’t make this list? I know they’re retards but still, I’d rather fight Doink than the ICP

  • Julius

    @bluesman87 [9]: It appears my terror at seeing 14 clowns made me miss that…thanks..

  • Firefly

    @ oliveralbq (4): yes! I haven’t seen Shakes in ages. Wasn’t the opening scene him waking up on someone’s bathroom floor with a kid pissing on his head?

  • @cuzicantstop [10]:
    –jamie — cuz brings up a fine point here, because the insane clown posse is clearly, far and away, the most likey to annoy and irritate you to death

    –staying away should be recommended

  • bluesman87

    @Julius [11]: understandable – To me, clowns aren’t funny at all they’re freakin scary. … I think it goes waay back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad…

  • Chris

    Those clowns are evil bastards.

  • Sega

    Where is Captain Spaulding from house of 1000 corpses?
    @cuzicantstop [10]: they’re so retarded they have went platinum numerous times and have sold millions….

  • Jael

    I started reading the list thinking that Pennywise would be #1, but now I can see why Gacy is at that spot.

    • KimAnne31

      I still woulda put pennywise at #1. IT was the only horror novel that ever scared me.

      • Savagehenry

        Gacy actually raped and killed multiple kids it’s hard to see that a cheap Steven king clown is scarier

  • apostle

    Alrighty then….

  • @Firefly [12]:
    –yep…before the credits, florence henderson is passed out on the couch, bobcat is passed out on the bathroom floor and her son is taking his morning piss — shakes wakes up and gets directly into the kid’s stream.
    –what’s funnier is that he doesnt give a fuck at all…he just wipes his hand over his face, and dips outta there … to go to a kids party … smelling like piss

  • louellrhyle

    i have read that Pogo on Wikipedia, and his story really creeps me out… gives me the goosebumps..

  • Lala

    wow. this list certainly brings out a new aspect of clowns. didnt know most of them here… good list.

  • CQSteve

    Hey, Evil Clowns need lovin` too! I am surprised that no-one thought of this list before. When you look at a clown, you notice that there’s always a couple of kids who are scared of them. I reckon it’s their natural protective traits kicking in and making them stay away from those scary bastards.

  • Chris

    Can’t sleep, clown will eat me…

  • dr. Hannibal Lecter

    Agree with Jael, never thought someone could beat Pennywise but damn..

    Whoever thought clowns are funny was obviously a bit ‘funny’ in his head.

  • Fiddlesticks

    Would not Violator make the list?? I revered him for his evilness in the movie Spawn… :D

  • baoggi

    Thank god for Pennywise.
    I was afraid that you’re gonna leave him out.

  • numbmusique

    Where’s the Damn Violator? Even in his “human” form, he’s monstrous. He rips hearts out for snacks.

  • necropenguin

    there is (or was) a local clown billed as the world’s strongest clown called buffo. i doubt many would wanna mess with a clown like him.

  • theBOMB

    #1 gives me an idea. (insert evil laugh here) >:D
    i was hoping to see that robotic clown from the Saw series. the one that says ‘hello (name here), i want to play a game’ in an eerie mechanical voice. that’s one clown i dont want to see.

  • ames801

    @Sega [16]: Oooooo, Captain Spaulding should have been on here for sure.
    Great list, jamie. Clowns = Creeps!

  • Handrejka

    I’m not scared of clowns but I can certainly understand why people are. Good list as always Jfrater.

  • Nicosia

    I worked for a pizza chain a few years ago, and one of our drivers delivered to the Insane Clown Posse! They were staying at a hotel, passing through on their way to another show. They were super nice to my friend, signed autographs, and gave him a big tip!

  • Seth. T.

    I read about Pogo when I was young and to this day I have been terrified by clowns

  • otherarrow

    Thanks for the list it was interesting.

    I’m really terrified of clowns and my friend like to tease me about it. Well now I can just show her this list to prove my point!

  • nicoleredz3

    @ JFrater: I hate you for this!!! Lol!

    I hate clowns, because of Pennywise… :-( I want my mama…

    Informative list, nonetheless!

  • nicoleredz3

    @ JFrater: “Even the happiest clowns seem to have something not quite right beneath the surface.”

    Maybe because a painted on smile can cover up an evil mind/ plan, by making your mind be at ease and fall for it?

  • oouchan

    I’ve always hated clowns. Not afraid of them, I just always thought they were evil. Glad you included both JWG and Pennywise….”We all float down here!”. Both creep me out to no end! As others mentioned, the Violator is another creepy ass clown.
    Great list, JFrater!

  • Reefer

    “Krusty the clown should be well known to everyone reading this list”

    Sorry. I have no idea who he is. Very rarely watch TV.

  • El_Karlo

    What about the clown from the comic book series (and later film) Spawn? That Clown was from hell and could turn into some monster type thing. I certainly wouldn’t mess with that clown.

    • Savagehenry

      Great point I forgot about him should have replaced krusty

  • El_Karlo
  • dsds

    @Julius [3]:

    Because he´s a terrorist

    http://vimeo.com/10149605

  • MouseintheHouseMI

    Oh my… I hate clowns. I didn’t know Gacy dressed as a clown. I feel sick now.

  • macsmid528

    I was hoping to see Captain Spaulding. He’s not a nice fellow.

  • VintageObsessive

    @cuzicantstop [10]:
    Insane Clown Posse! Wow I haven’t thought about them in forever. That brought back memories of white guys from my junior high days wearing white tees and saggy pants. Not cool.

  • VintageObsessive

    @Chris [23]: Ha! Classic line from Bart’s clown bed episode. Love it!

  • WhiteDragon

    Good list, not afraid of clowns myself but they are a little creepy…especially after reading this list. I wonder…what is it that makes clowns just so downright disturbing sometimes…even the good ones.

  • Firefly

    @ oliveralbq (19): haha I have to watch that film again sometime, I haven’t seen it in years. My boyfriend had it on video years ago but thats long gone now.

    @ cuzicantstop (10): have you seen their new video ‘Miracles’? Its one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. There’s a line that goes something like ‘fed a pelican in frisco bay, he tried to eat my cell phone’ and something else about how magnets must be magic.
    I was actually a bit surprised they didn’t make it too.

    The amount of people I know who are afraid of clowns because of Pennywise is ridiculous. I saw it when I was a kid too and I’m not afraid of clowns. I don’t especially like them, but they don’t scare me.

  • GeauxMe

    What happened to Homie the Clown from In living color? He was pretty scary.

  • joetravolta

    Great list today… i would have put Captain Spaulding up there aswell from ‘The Devils Rejects’. he was one evil bastard

    Quote
    Captain J.T. Spaulding: What’s the matter, kid? Don’t ya like clowns?
    Jamie: [shakes head crying]
    Captain J.T. Spaulding: Why? Don’t we make ya laugh? Aren’t we fuckin’ funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I’m gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain’t got a reason why you hate clowns, I’m gonna kill your whole fucking family.
    Jamie: [continues crying]
    Captain J.T. Spaulding: All right, now get your fuckin’ ass out the car, go on yayayayayaya
    [starts laughing]

  • kuban8r

    I hate to go down the video game route, but why no Kefka from Final Fantasy 3. One of the most evil video game villians of all time! He wasn’t really a clown but he dressed up like one.

  • John

    Where’s Icp,twiztid,or boondox??

  • krypto092108

    Knowing what I now know about Ronald McDonald, I not hire that douche for my kid’s B-Day Party if the world was ending, unless I had bodyguards for my kid(s) and my kid’s guests… Having bodyguards because of your fans is rather stupid, as is needing bodyguards because of somebody else’s bodyguards…

  • kuban8r

    Sorry I forgot to say great list as well!

  • damien_karras

    There’s a service in Switzerland where you can employ an evil clown to stalk your child… no joke: Just read the article and check out the pic!

    http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/821591-evil-clown-hired-for-stalking-threats-and-a-pie-in-the-face

  • Hyperion1001

    F**king magnets, how do they work?

    (sorry, it had to be done)

  • Mel Elyssa

    What about the clown from The Devils Rejects? *shudder*

  • Nauplius

    As soon as I saw the title the first two that popped into my head were Gacy and Pennywise and sure enough there they are at one and two.

  • bluesman87

    @damien_karras [55]: Dude that looks like the sickest thing ever , I cant wait to have children so i can do it to them . Pogo still looks waaaya more evil then that clown , shit pogo looks waay more eviler than Liza manelli himself.

  • shaymm09

    Happy Cinco De Mayo to anyone taht celebrates

  • nicoleredz3

    @bluesman87 [59]: Gosh, you’re a meanie! :lol:

  • nicoleredz3

    @kuban8r [51]: I miss that game! Kefka really dressed AND ACTED like a clown, for real…

  • Nikki

    I knew Pogo would be first.

  • thebrick

    What about Homie da Clown? Mofo was baaaaad!

    “Homie don’t play that!”

  • lumplawson

    Am I the only one who thinks that Pennywise in the movie version of It was terrible? His character in the book was so much better. And Homie the Clown was great.

  • Carmen M

    What about Pagliacci the great tragic clown? or even better “Crazy” Joe Davola as Pagliacci in the The Opera episode of Seinfeld. The way he took out the thugs in the park and terrified Kramer, lol.

    I think there are enough clowns out there for a second part to this list.

  • Scratch

    Excellent list.

    I was always weirded out by Ronald McDonald as a child.

    The Hamburgler and the big purple guy were my favourites.

  • DrEvo82

    Insane Clown Posse and Captain Spaulding!!!! Pogo does deserve #1 though.

  • Maggot

    @Julius [3]: You should have put a warning for people with Coulrophobia in front

    Julius, come on man. Comments like this annoy me to no end. Why does everyone need their hand held? The freaking title of the list is “Clowns You Don’t Want to Mess With”. If anyone suffering from coulrophobia can’t figure out from that title that maybe they should avoid the list, well then they deserve to get the shit scared out of them.

    Btw:
    http://bestofmichaeljackson.jclondon.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/michael-jackson-dressed-as-a-clown1.jpg

  • nicoleredz3

    @Maggot [69]: Unbelieveable that he missed the very first few lines, in the foreword, eh?.. That was enough warning for me to suck it up and go through this list!

    Btw, that Michael Jackson picture is hilarious!

    Also, check @damien_karras [55]: ‘s link (picture) of the clown. He reminds me of Jackson, as well! Creepily dressed like him…

  • Akashtorturedmind

    Very interesting list. enjoyed the read.

  • ames801

    @Maggot [69]: Exactly why I haven’t checked out the ‘Bizarre Spiders’ list from a few days back.
    P.S. MJ makes such a sad clown. Awwwwww.

  • nathaaan90

    Was Pogo a real killer, or a fictional one?

  • timothyjames

    I was kind of expecting Captain Spaulding to be on here too. Oh well, great list anyway.

    On a creepier note, John Wayne Gacy set up shop in the town right next to mine. I’ve played in the river where he would dump bodies. Ew.

  • 7raul7

    The joker and pennywise ftw !!!

  • General Tits Von Chodehoffen

    Anyone who says ICP should be on this list sucks.

  • nicoleredz3

    @nathaaan90 [74]: He WAS real. Search Google/ Wikipedia for John Wayne Gacy; depressing life story of man who was taunted by his dad, molested by a family friend at the age of 9, etc… It all kept going downhill, from there for him…

  • nicoleredz3
  • missmozell

    I remember a song I heard on the Dr. Demento show about ‘Kinko the Kid Loving Clown’. >.< Yeah, it's what you think. "The parents want to beat me up and run me out of town."

    And there was an old Jerry Lewis movie where he was the chauffer/bodyguard of an orphaned little heiress who was to pick her legal guardian from among six or so 'uncles', all played by Jerry (absent minded professor, gangster, admiral) one of whom is a circus clown. The girl overhears him while he's putting on his makeup, griping about how much he hates his job, how much he hates kids, and how he can't wait to quit. Jerry talked in his lower 'normal' voice instead of his higher 'delinquent' voice, and he managed to come across as very bitter and cynical. Jerry's also garnered the reputation of occasionally being a SOB, very superior and controling, and the rumors plus the portrayal is actually a tiny bit chilling. You sure wouldn't want to leave a child to this guy's 'mercy'.

  • Shifty

    The Wayne Gacy Trio: (video is NSFW)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-L7YqxM-xY

  • nicoleredz3

    @Shifty [81]: O_o

  • Tryclyde

    The life-sized clown statue that Pee Wee Herman chains his bike to in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure always frightened me as a child. His sinister laugh as he taunts Pee Wee after the bike is stolen was terrifying.

  • undaunted warrior 1

    Nice list I have always hated clowns from childhood days, I dont know why mayby it was the clothes or makeup, they were just different to us I suppose.

    Thanks JF.

  • dcasquis

    For some reason I thought Pogo and Pennywise were the same thing.
    I now officially have fear of clowns.
    -_-

  • mechrabbit

    go back to cogitz

  • Sega

    @Hyperion1001 [56]: fucking idiots, how do they work? this isn’t 4chun.
    @Firefly [48]: that song is stupid. have you even heard anything else? look up the song “Fearless” and it pretty much sums up ICP.
    @General Tits Von Chodehoffen [77]: horrorcore is not for everyone, but i agree they shouldn’t be on here.

  • damien_karras

    I seem to remember reading a story in my local paper about a depressed clown who worked a children’s birthday party and blew his head off in front of them. I’ll try to find the link.

  • Vera Lynn

    I remember when they started digging the bodies out of the basement in Gacy’s house. It was near my neck of the woods. They published photos of the young men who were killed in the Chicago Tribune. Terrible terrible thing. No one could believe they just kept finding more bodies.

  • Jonny Bronson

    No Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal… More importantly no Canio/Pagliacco from Pagliacci?

  • Maggot

    @damien_karras [88]: I’ll try to find the link.

    Yes, please do. My day will be meaningless until I read that heartwarming story.

  • Vera Lynn

    timothyjames (75) Where did you grow up? You must have been near me. Im in Northbrook now.

  • FlameHorse

    I knew Pennywise would be on here, and I knew the picture would not be an adorable one. Great list, Jafe! You’re the master.

  • sckd32

    you forgot Captain Spaulding… from House of 1000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects. That was one pissed off psychotic clown.

  • Steven Douglas

    I agree with many here, you missed VIOLATOR, the MOST evil clown, by far, the demon clown in the movie Spawn, played by John Leguizamo. He was the funniest, wittiest, nastiest, and most dangerous clown ever seen by anyone!

  • GTT

    @Maggot [69]: Well, I was doing OK with the list including pictures of JWG and Pennywise but that clown pic of MJ freaked me out! ;)

    I´m kinda on the fence with the whole clown issue… Not scared but they are definately not my favorite characters. Half of them are just plain creepy and the other half are so chipper that it kinda makes me want to smack them….

  • GTT

    @nicoleredz3 [78]: It all kept going downhill, from there for him…

    For him? Tell that to the 25-30 men he murdered….

  • Jack Deth

    Ronald McDonald’s ‘Special protection group’ had better be very special if they ever try any of those tricks on my kids while I’m there.

  • @Shifty [81]:
    –good call shifty — jack handly is a trip — they used to play in athens, ga, and atlanta a lot before they relocated to the pac. northwest

  • nicoleredz3

    @GTT [97]: I kinda meant his sanity… :lol:

    Poor victims, though.

  • Julius

    @Maggot [69]: sry about that, I wrote tahr comment while still being creeped out…..

    @ JFrater: is it possible that you might include an edit function for comments sometime?

  • RedMan

    Didn’t think I would like this list when I seen clowns in the title but I enjoyed it. I myself am not scared of clowns but I had friend who fainted at the circus when a clown tried giving him a balloon. Applying make up is not that difficult. I took a course in theatrical arts and found it quite easy. Nice list thanks JF.

  • GTT

    @nicoleredz3 [100]: ;)

  • Maggot

    @Julius [101]: Not like you owe me an apology or anything. Just don’t let it happen again. lol

  • Bucketheadrocks

    Is it the clowns who fake the smiles, or us?

  • MrCook

    Pogo = scary… :^(

  • Arsnl

    already had a crappy day and that john gacy article on wiki was just the cherry on the cake that i needed. Damn. The guy took a photo with jimmy carter’s wifi. That is so surreal.

    @Maggot [91]: i find it so annoying when people post their tweets here.
    Ps just saw today a ginger kid just like the one on your gravatar. No freckless but still really cute :-) , i just wanted to sqeeze his cheeks and act like an old lady.

  • @Arsnl [107]: The one in his gravatar (if you don’t already know) is Alfred E. Neuman of Mad Magazine fame.

  • Techstyles

    I read that in the Poltergeist scene apparently the mechanical clown prop nearly did strangle the young actor – unlucky…

  • krypto092108

    Rotten Ronnie fits Ronald McDonald to a “T” if he needs a Special Protection Group… They better be indeed “SPECIAL” if they do anything to anybody’s kids…
    Especially here in Canada.

  • krypto092108

    And I still don’t eat any of that franchise’s crap to this day, after the last time, some 35(approximately, as the hands of the clock turns) years ago…
    I don’t miss it, either.

  • Maggot

    @jfrater [108]: Well there goes my cloak of anonymity.

  • John

    @Jack Deth [98]:

    Agreed. If they were to come over to my house, it is advisable they’d check and update their life insurance because if they try to act violent toward my children…

    God help them all.

  • Mimz

    This list = love.

  • Moonbeam

    Clowns give me the creeps.

    I also find that people dressed in those character costumes like at sporting events or amusement parks make me uncomfortable. Who’s inside? Male? Female? Is it somebody I already know? If you can’t see their face you don’t have any idea what they’re really thinking. Is he/she rolling his/her eyes at how stupid everyone is acting around them? Is it someone who actually hates kids or hates his job? Or is it some creep who likes being around little kids way too much? I always avoid them.

    @Sega [16]: “[Insane Clown Posse] have went platinum numerous times and have sold millions….” So selling millions makes them brilliant or in any way at all good? Barry Manilow, Vanilla Ice, The Spice Girls, Michael Bolton, and Billy Ray Cyrus have sold millions too, that doesn’t make them talented or mean they’ve got genius level IQ’s.

  • gf

    What about Homey the clown?

    “Homey don’t play that!”

  • Alison

    Awesome list. Honestly, clowns don’t really scare me and never have, but some of the clowns on this list sure are creepy, especially #1 since, of course, he’s real.

    “Attack of the Killer Klowns” is a great piece of cheesy 1980s horror. The best part is that it even has it’s own cheesy theme song.

  • @Vera Lynn [92]: I’m from Mt. Prospect. The side closest to Des Plaines actually, haha.

  • diogenes

    I once worked as a bodyguard for Ronald Mcdonald. Odd job, sure, but really stressful and soul breaking. It was just supposed to be a temp job right after I graduated from college. I thought it would be a wild thing to show off to my buddies about and I guess I figured that chicks at the bar would find me charming or sexy… No, really I did!
    Little did I know that sh*t job would last a whole f*cking year! It changed my outlook on life and yeah, maybe for THAT I should be grateful. Oh god! I remember in the beginning when applicants were being ushered from one room to the next, taking tests, watching recruitment videos,having to be narrowed down to just a few and finally being called into this closet sized ‘Final Challenge’ audition space. And I’m talking about 300 and something applicants down to SIX of us!!
    Yeah, I got stories… Some I’m not really proud. Like the first time I cracked a kid’s ankle bone.
    It just makes me cringe thinking back about it all now.

  • diogenes

    -Some I’m not really proud OF.-
    I feel like crying now.sorry, just having to repeat that sentence is too much.

  • Danzik1

    Good list, bust come on, Were the fuck is captain spalding!?!? XD That guy shot his wife and took her car…with a fucking kid in it! XD (I think. Haven’t seen the movie in a bit. But he did take a car near a little kid)

  • Hyperion1001

    @Sega [87]: The fact that you took my post so seriously makes the joke that much sweeter. ICP is an affront to all human intelligence, i worry that there are people out there who actually take it as seriously as they do.

  • GTT

    @diogenes [119]: I’m a little scared of you right now… You cracked a kid’s ankle?

    *backs away slowly*

  • Mabel

    I’m not scared of clowns but I don’t like them. I have to say that Pogo picture is damn creepy. Of course, John Wayne Gacy was very creepy even without the makeup.

  • diogenes

    @GTT [123]:
    It must be the hour of the day or something because I didn’t really want to get into this right now but I’ll try and relieve myself a little of this everlasting chip on my shoulder.
    First of all The Almighty McDonalds Corp. taught us the proper way to stun a child with mock 3stooges-like antics. ‘The Delivery’ is what we called it.
    Now hear me out and don’t judge me too quickly.
    We wore the big floppy boots that some hotshot at Doc Martens had designed for us specifically. I was actually supposed to be part of an elite ‘New Phase’, regarding their global whatnots but things didn’t pan out for reasons I wont go into.
    So we went through training and I’m a little afraid to talk about it because of the thread a couple of days ago where all them marine guys were complaining about the differences of drilling coach terminology.
    Okay?
    Stamping on the feet IS within protocol and there is one of those hidden clauses that allows for certain measures to be excusable.
    Smart alecky kids were like the Mall Santa Claus plague. They were just not forthright with registering differences between franchise ‘Ronnies’ and THE REAL THING.

  • Vera Lynn

    timothyjames (118)I lived in Des Plaines for a bit, but not til years layer. Then I was in Wheeling and hung out at Randhurst a lot. I still go to BWW. Love their hot sauce.

  • sochej

    Great list! I, too, expected Pennywise to be number 1, but now that you’ve helped me remember Pogo, I agree that he’s much more deserving of the spot!

  • Sega

    @Moonbeam [115]: I wasn’t trying to imply they were “brilliant”, just successful.
    When did I ever say they were brilliant?

  • bluesman87

    @timothyjames [75]: Imagine , its not whether you messed with him its whether you befriended him and went to his house to hang out where he couldve showed you one of his “magic tricks” . Man thats crazy ! Did yuo know any of his victims ?

  • @Vera Lynn [126]: BWW is spectacular. It’s the only thing keeping that Randhurst area going.

    @bluesman87 [129]: I am a bit to young to know any of his victims (or him personally, thank goodness!), but I have been wary of clowns in the area ever since. Now I know why my mom did let me have one come to my birthday party when I was little.

  • *too young

  • Carol

    AH! Clowns! D:!

  • Stephen Kings IT is the worse of all!
    in general the clowns are spooky.
    I met once a guy and he impersonated Ronald Mc Donald for the children’s parties at Mc Donald,he was pretty cool!
    i dont feel afraid at all of this particular clown.
    nice blog! wish you follow mines if you have fashion interest!Cheers

  • VintageObsessive

    @diogenes [120]: are you serious right now?? You sound like you may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, all over being Ronald McDonald’s body guard. (Why do I feel like I am discribing an episode of HOUSE or SCRUBS?? lol 8D

  • GTT

    @diogenes [125]: I´m sorry (and I promise I wont tease you anymore) but this line had me cracking up just a little:

    The Almighty McDonalds Corp. taught us the proper way to stun a child…

    Oh the dark, twisted secrets of a Happy Meal…. ;)

  • richm

    @Firefly [12]: Yes, he had a one-night stand with Florence Henderson, who woke up with clown makeup all over her face. That’s the only clown story I don’t hate, mostly because of their rivalry with mimes, who are more annoying than clowns.

  • richm

    @oouchan [38]: I agree. I hate them. They’re all evil. I’d rather take my chances with a room full of wild animals than a room full of clowns.

  • nicoleredz3

    @GTT [135]: Lol!

  • bluesman87

    @richm [136]: I agree mimes are so much worse . Especially when they follow you on the street copying you, they are my enemies .

  • nicoleredz3

    Been dying to punch a mime in his jewels… Heh heh heh… :lol:

  • hola

    i think it’s a nice list

  • Vera Lynn

    timothyjames (130) BWW has cool bartenders, too. Steve is the best one they have. And I agree. That whole rebuilding is ridiculous. Theres nothing left. Theyre making it an outdoor mall like Old Orchard. Do you remember East Side Marios near where the bookstore is? That place was great too.

  • kidnic

    No Homie The Clown?

    Homie dont play that.

  • deeeziner

    Thanks for a couple of new words to add to my vocab there, Jamie. ( jejune and eponymous )

    As for the search for an obscure clown….you need to check out Kevin Smith’s “Vulgar”. Vulgar the Clown is one of his more serio-tragic characters, and the whole movie is way darker than any of Smith’s other works.

  • Moonbeam

    @Sega [128]: When you said, “they’re so retarded they have went platinum numerous times and have sold millions….” By phrasing it like this, it implies that they’re the opposite of dumb – or as you put it, “retarded” solely because they’ve managed to “sell millions.”

  • Sega

    @Moonbeam [145]: Actually cuzicantstop is the one who referred to them as “retards”. If he had said they were terrible…
    anyway I like their music, and you obviously cant stand them. I guess i was kinda saying they were brilliant. I respect you and wont argue with you anymore. not over a band atleast

  • fall_victim

    “Pogo was the name of the clown character used by John Wayne Gacy to make connections with young men so he could rape, torture, and murder them.” – Gacy used his construction business to lure men and young boys not his Pogo the Clown character. this was actually how he was caught as his last victim was dropped off at his office by his mother who then reported him missing and Gacy was arrested.

  • fall_victim

    Also a glaring omission from this list is yucko the clown.

  • Tribol

    hey i cant believe u forget about Sweet Tooth, the evil clown from the the video game series Twisted Metal, he should be in the list

  • Tribol

    i mean Sweet Tooth REALY SHOULD be in the list, hes a completely insane seriall killer with burning hair that drives a super ice-cream truck AND hes a clown, how could u NOT put him in the list dude???

  • Beast Of Gevaudan

    Creepy list indeed. Gacy was one twisted sob.

  • I have always hated clowns. This list certainly didn’t help any, but I already had the deep seated hatred of the buggers anyway.
    I knew John Wayne Gacy would be # 1. Who else could be?
    Yet actual or mythical, clowns have an aura of evil about them, a miasma of evil surrounds them and seems to threaten anyone who gets close. I wouldn’t take my kids to the circus until Cirque du Soleil came around.
    It’s my only phobia. Clowns.
    I must be made wrong.

  • LLC

    How aren't there any comments on this list yet????

  • There are actually 152 – but we have just changed our commenting mechanism so it is going to take about 10 hours before all the old comments show up again. The only list which has no hidden comments is the latest one which was published after the new commenting system went live.

    All should be back to normal in 10 hours at the most..

  • Chaitali

    The clown from Stephen King's IT. – scariest thing ever and definitely a noticeable absentee in this otherwise great list.

    • frostybabygurl

      Yeah It is definately not absent, it's in spot #2. Be crazy not to put It on here lol

  • Synoen

    @Chaitali [155]: Well, he is the number 2, the infamous Pennywise…

  • psychosurfer

    Epic list, LV at its best, thanx Jamie

  • frostybabygurl

    I'm surprised that creepy guy/clown from the Rob Zombie movies isn't on here, I think that's where he was from. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

  • subbu

    hi its me

  • Julia

    -shivers- Oh, so creepy…I'm not afraid of clowns but OH, this list was terrifying…

  • leslie

    why isnt sweet tooth of twisted metal fame on the list

  • Tribol

    / agree Sweet Tooth is the more badass fictional clown ever, he REALY SHOULD be on this list

  • tui

    John Wayne Gacy did not use his Pogo persona for luring the TEENAGE boys he killed. Pogo was a persona he used when entertaining on weekends at childrens parties. He was a well loved member of the community.
    The TEENAGE boys he raped and killed were lured with promises of work at his contracting company.

  • hi there

    you forgot pogliacci

  • Tim Curry's role of "IT" as a fictional character, has to be the scariest clown I've ever seen. "Yes Georgie..they float…and when you're down here….with me…YOU FLOAT TOO!!!". As for "Pogo," I completely agree he's deserving of the top spot. He's just so damn creepy! It makes you feel like this kind of animal could be living right next door to you. I'm not sure if Michael Myers fits this list, but he was the scariest of child clowns. I believe the expressionless white William Shatner mask version could also be viewed as either a clown or mime mask. If so, he could easily crack the top 3. Would you not agree?

  • Beverley

    I would give Captain Spaulding an honourable mention xo

  • Thoracias

    Can't believe Captain Spaulding isn't on this list. He shoulda been #1. Who wants to run into that psycho?

  • Reedemer

    Can I get an honorary mention for the eldest of the Phlebiac Brothers, Violator . That clown will give you some serious nightmares.

  • remote snatcher

    i hate clowns.punched a dummy clown outside mcdonald’s once.there’s something so sinister about them.
    that clown from ‘saw’ deserves a mention here…he’s pure evil.

  • James Cretinstein

    Buffo is the World's Strongest Clown. He could thrash any three of these cretins in a fight (except perhaps Doink in his prime). Being a criminal doesn't make you tough. Juggling chainsaws does. Buffo could punish all these punks real proper like. Gacy got overpowered by some 17 year old he tried to kill and thats why he got busted. Buffo don't need no restraints or sneaking up on people. Because he is friggin huge and he is an upstanding citizen and a pillar of our community. That most of the clowns on your list are imaginary makes it even more suspect. And obviously the standard for "imaginary" in the world of clown personas is pretty liberal too.
    http://www.buffo.com/

  • sprvxn67

    I study serial killers…."Pogo" actually murdered 33 boys/young men….29 of which were burried in his crawl space & the res were tossed into the des plaines river in Illinois. He lured most his victims to his house to drink beer & smoke spot ((or promising them a job w/his construction company)) & once they were comfortable enough he would tell them about his "career as a clown" & would offer to show them his "rope trick"….the willing participants would then be handcuffed & "Pogo" would take a thick rope ((at each end of the rope was a piece of wood)) which he used to twist & tighten the rope around the victims neck. He'd then strangle them w/in an inch of their lives just to then revive them and do it all over again – raping them in the process – so he sorta killed each victim over and over again ((torture))…this sick f*ck is in a category of his own…at least when it comes to "clowns"….just sayin'
    Besides the inaccurate # of victims listed….very interesting list….I suggest a 2nd including captain spalding, jigsaw & homie the clown lol but overall – Nice work :)

  • Frank

    What, no Captain Spalding from The Devil's Rejects/House of 1000 Corpses? How can you omit a clown that says lines like: "Don't you never turn your back on fucking clown when he's talking to you" and "What's a matter kid, don't you like clowns? Don't we make you laugh? Aren't we fucking funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family."

  • xandrios

    why is captain spaulding not on this list!?

  • Dragoon

    hey remote snatcher and sprvxn67, that wooden scary doll from 'Saw' its not a clown

    U really should ad Needles Kane a.k.a. Sweet Tooth to the list, hes friggin scary AND friggin EPIC, i mean take a look at him, hes a completely insane serial killer that uses a clown mask, drives an ice-crean truck, not just an ice-crean truck but the DEMONIAC ICE-CREAN TRUCK and he is cursed to have flames consuming his head, what make he lives in eternal agony, pain and sufering, but when he found a cure for the curse he took all of the ten seconds to think about it and he refused to drink the antidote cuz he should stop killing or the flames would be back, so he killed the guy who ofered him the antidote and walked away cuz as he said "a man must have his priorities" WHON BADASS IS THAT, REFUSE THE CURE FOR ALL YUOR PAIN JUST FOR YOU DONT HAVE TO STOP KILLING??! he is a real badass and nobody can say hes not!!! and even more: he is the pet of the longest-running PlayStation-exclusive franchise with a total of fifteen years running from 1995 to present and has been in the cover of all the games from the franchise, all i want to say is: HOW COULD U NOT INCLUDE SWEET TOOTH ON THE LIST HIS THE BADASSEST FICTIONAL CLOWN EVER!!!!!!!!

  • Madboo

    Ooh!! What about Dr. Rockso?

    You know, the Rock'n Roll Clown?

    I hear he does cocaine.

  • bsmindproductions

    Where the hell is Capt Spaulding?!?!?!?! just sayin he was one of the most badass clowns out there!

  • @ bsmindproductions: I was about to type the same thing! I thought Captain Spaulding deserved to be #4 at least.
    Evidence why he should've been on the list : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgyGEkt3wfY

  • Actually, this is a better video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R4e9SBLuBw&ha

  • Rascal

    A Clown you wouldn't want to mess with would be Tricky of Madness Combat. See, check it out. *Warning, violent* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-byOFnxhmoM

  • klassie08

    pennywise were the worst i loved the book my aunt has been scared of clowns ever since tho

  • Nightstalker

    Where's Sweet Tooth? A clown serial killer who drives a creepy ice cream truck while his head is on fire??? That is the scariest clown to ever live.

  • Jessica

    Definitely thought John Wayne Gacy would make the list.

  • Crimanon

    Although not a clown, he is a Jester. I've got to shout out to Mother F**king Hop Frog!!!

  • Dblock

    I WANT SWEET TOOTH!!! He should have been on the list over ronald McDonald. come on now

  • TheGuyWhoIsn'tHere

    You had me with ya up until you brought Tim Curry's Pennywise into the mix. I guess he migth've been scary in the novel, but that movie was one of the least frightening horror films ever made. Plus, I really hate Stephen King.

  • noname

    take out Poltergeist Clown and put Needles Kane (a.k.a. Sweet Tooth (from the Playstation franchise Twisted Metal)) it would make much more sense than that other guy

  • Mars

    WHERE’S SWEET TOOTH?! Should be a lock in the top 5.

  • Grushenka

    Thanks for spoiling IT

  • amber

    captin spadling from the devils rejects anyone?

  • Krusty the Punk

    Ronald McDonald should have been #1 because of all the death McDonald’s spreads. Animals have lives too, and when they’re put through the slaughterhouses that’s just torture and a complete waste, and beyond that the food is just atrocious for the body and has spread it’s fair share of evil even without the slaughterhouse meat, plus who knows what sweatshop/how many starved third world nation’s children make all the shitty little happy meal toys McDonalds gives out to your children.

  • theDogter

    definatly missing the violator from the Spawn series. i think he could kick doinks butt at least

  • arnelbeltran

    this clowns listed here are totally wicked.

  • Apocalypse

    i didnt like clowns before,but im sure terrified know.

  • Sonia

    ?WHERE’S CAPTAIN SPAULDING FROM HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES????

  • michael

    where is it the killer clown

  • Skip

    Where’s Harpo

  • bronzezeus

    Pennywise scared the shit out of me when i was a kid watching the stephen king movie IT haha

  • BrghtSde

    how about “violator”? the clown from spawn! the fat ass devils advocate kind one. xD

  • Dalif H

    Shawn Crahan from Slipknot deserves a mention at least, not sure the ICP guys creep me out but Captain Spaulding certainly gives me the jitters!

  • George Wentzel

    You left off the most malicious, evil and sadistic Clown of all time, Barack Hussein Obama

  • No Bozo the Clown? Better watch out, ‘cuz he or Mr. Ned will out your balls in Bucket No. 6! :shudder: (This is a Chicago reference and one that only old-timers will catch. It’s also supposed to be a joke. SO LAUGH, DAMN YOU IMPERTINENT CYBER-SURFERS!)

  • Lizardmancalcos

    What about Needles Kane, driver of Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal. He deserves to be in this, I thought he was.

  • Guanabana

    They forgot Pierre Le Fou

  • Hernan Marino

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it

  • Ought to have worked in Pueblo clowns. You wouldn’t want to mess with them.

  • Kim

    Need to add Dr. Rockso the Rock n’ Roll Clown to this list

  • DARLA

    pennywise should have been number one! he looks super scary!! :0 LMFAO