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10 Hilarious Excuses People Gave Police to Cover a Crime

by Jeffrey Morris
fact checked by Darci Heikkinen

Giving excuses is human. People give reasons why they had to be absent from work, meetings, events, and parties. Of course, the most common excuses are the ones that are made to justify lateness to work or school. Why you’re late to work or school may not have legal consequences. Still, if you’re ever pulled over by police or taken downtown because you committed a crime, you need a very convincing excuse to avoid unpleasant consequences.

This is why some people have gotten creative when making excuses to the police. Sometimes, this creativity is taken too far. These are ten hilarious excuses people have given to the police to cover their crimes.

Related: The Devil Made Them Do It: 10 Crimes Blamed On Demonic Possession

10 This Is Not a Burglary: It Is a Free House

A couple decided to make fast cash illegally by stealing; however, luck ran out on them, and the victim caught them in the act. Charles and Pernella Bull had both ridden bicycles to a house in South St. Paul, Minnesota, and started taking out items from the home. The items stolen included a full toolbox, desktop computer, laptop computer, and various tools and wires, among other things. The victim was putting her kids to bed upstairs when she heard strange sounds in the house. When she went downstairs to investigate, she saw the Bulls running out through the back door.

The Bulls would have escaped, but the victim’s neighbor, who was driving in the alley, saw them, stopped them, and made them return the stolen items. The Bulls were subsequently arrested, and they told the police that they should not be charged because they did not commit burglary—a friend told them that the victim’s house had been listed as a “Free House” on Craigslist. So they felt they could walk away with the items without consequence. An officer searched for the victim’s house on Craigslist under the free section but couldn’t find it.[1]

9 This Banned Substance Is a Prescription

When Sylvester Stallone was caught illegally importing 48 vials of human growth hormone into Australia during a promotional trip in February 2007, he said a medical doctor prescribed the banned substance. He was subsequently charged in court, and his lawyer told another lie: Stallone was using the substance under a doctor’s supervision for an undisclosed medical condition.

Throughout Stallone’s ordeal, no doctor’s name was mentioned. It is important that we bring it to your notice that Stallone, who lives in the United States, could not have gotten a prescription from a medical practitioner in the U.S. because the substance is banned in the United States and is not legally available for retail use. Stallone was fined $2500.[2]

8 I Kept One Eye Closed While Driving to Prevent Me from Seeing Double

Local police in Sweden had to intervene to prevent an accident when a woman was driving erratically on the road, swerving from lane to lane near Osternarke. The woman refused to pull over initially, and police were forced to pursue her across a distance of two miles (3.2 kilometers). The woman was obviously drunk, and she told police that having realized she was drunk, she deliberately closed one eye while driving to ensure that she did not see double.

The woman probably thought that she was being “innovative.” Unfortunately, the police were not happy with her type of “solution” to the “problem” at hand. She was charged in court and got a two-month jail sentence.[3]

7 I Was Violent Because of the Full Moon

Thomas Stroup got into an unforgettable incident with the police when he was 20 years old. Lorain County sheriff’s deputies received a call that a very violent male was attacking people at the Timber Ridge Campground in Amherst, Ohio. When police officers arrived at the scene, Stroup was found sleeping under a trailer. He growled at deputies before he was placed under arrest.

The surprising thing about this particular entry is that Stroup apologized for his behavior while he was being taken to Lorain County jail. He informed police officers that he had consumed too much vodka earlier, and his violent reaction resulted from a wolf scratch incident, making him react violently whenever there is a full moon. We hope residents of Lorain County and Ohio, in general, will be cautious whenever there is a full moon.[4]

6 I Was Looking After the Cannabis for a Friend

In a very bizarre incident, a man named Plamen Uzunov was found in possession of more than 250 plants at various stages of growth in a cannabis factory in Wales. He promptly told police officers he agreed to look after the cannabis for a friend because he was going to be paid £1,500 to look after the plants for six weeks. On top of that, he wouldn’t have to bother about paying for the accommodation—a converted bedroom in the building.

When police officers got to the scene of the crime, Plamen refused to open the door when deputies knocked repeatedly—they had to force an entry. Police officers found Plamen in the front room almost as soon as they went in. Plamen was arrested, and three cell phones were seized during his arrest. His passport, cash, and identity card were also seized. Plamen eventually admitted he was committing an offense. He was jailed for 18 months, and the plants—valued at over £300,000, were destroyed.[5]

5 He Fell on the Knife That Caused His Injury

Sharon Robinson inflicted a 2.5-inch (6-centimeter) knife wound on her partner, Jonathon Gimblett, while he was in bed in his home in Wales. She then left him to bleed for several hours before calling an ambulance. When the matter came to the attention of the police, and upon being interrogated, Robinson said her partner fell on a knife while he was in the kitchen.

Then, when she saw that he was bleeding profusely, she put him to bed to keep him warm. Gimblett’s wound was so severe that he needed a blood transfusion. When paramedics found him, the bedsheets were covered in blood. He was very lucky to have survived the ordeal. Robinson was sentenced to 18 months in jail.[6]

4 I Didn’t Want My McDonald’s to Get Cold

In a bizarre incident, South Yorkshire police officers got more than what they bargained for when they stopped a motorist for speeding recklessly. It turned out the man had been rushing home because he didn’t want his McDonald’s meal to get cold, and he was proud to disclose this to the police.

The incautious driver might have gotten home to enjoy his meal if only he had not overtaken an unmarked police vehicle on the road. To cap it all off, the vehicle wasn’t insured, and it was quickly seized by the police. In the long run, the driver had his McDonald’s cold while also temporarily losing possession of his vehicle. Not lovin’ it so much now, I guess.[7]

3 My Cat Downloaded Child Pornography on My Computer

A Florida man, Keith Griffin, was caught with more than 1,000 images of child pornography on his computer. He immediately proclaimed his innocence and gave an “explanation.” According to Griffin, his cat is in the habit of sitting on his keyboard. On several occasions, he has discovered strange material he had no intention of downloading on his computer.

He stated that this strange material is usually downloaded whenever his cat sits on his computer. Unfortunately, police detectives did not find his excuse convincing enough, and he was taken to jail. Griffin was eventually charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography. While we know that Griffin was sentenced for his crime, his cat was not charged.[8]

2 The Prostitute Was Going to Show Me Where to Get Tomatoes

Muhammad Ikhlaq, a 39-year-old man, was arrested by the West Midlands police on suspicion of soliciting while driving through Walsall because a known sex worker was in his car. Ikhlaq, however, refused to admit the real reason for the presence of a sex worker in his car. He said that the prostitute was only trying to show him where he could buy tomatoes. He claims he was withdrawing cash to pay for the produce from a cash machine when police officers saw the sex worker in his vehicle’s passenger seat.

Unfortunately, the police did not find the excuse so convincing. Mr. Ikhlaq was fined for his conduct.[9]

1 I Was Looking for Islamic State Militants in the Parking Lot

A Mississippi woman was arrested by police officers for breaking into cars at her children’s high school. This is how it all started: Police authorities were inundated with complaints of stolen property at the high school. This made officers launch a careful investigation in order to determine who was responsible for the crime.

Lisa Carol Roche was so careless at the crime scene that police officers were able to witness her actually committing the crime. When the officers informed her about what they had seen, seeing that she could not possibly defend what she had done, she claimed that she had been watching the news recently, which was dominated by the mention of the Islamic State.

Roche said she was very terrified of Islamic State militants, so she took it upon herself to check the parking lot in order to find and flush out any terrorists hiding there. Unfortunately, the police officers rejected her argument, and she was charged with commercial burglary of an automobile and taken to Jackson County Adult Detention Center. There were no terrorists found in the parking lot or anywhere within the high school premises.[10]

fact checked by Darci Heikkinen