10 Video-Game-Worthy Weapons and Armors from History

Historical war gear is a lot like today’s video game equipment. Some items are designed for efficiency, while others are rarer yet less practical on the battlefield. Whether wielded in ancient times or on far-off future planets, these fanciful adornments reward people for their unflappable bravery in battle or unblinking dedication to virtual “achievements.”

Finally, the flashiest of these are simply ostentatious instruments to show off and prove you’re much better than the next person. From DLC rarities like Roman parade helmets to cannons attached to camels, these amazing pieces bridge the bloody past and the digital, Red-Bull-chugging present.

Related: 10 Things People Get Wrong about Weapons

10 A DLC-Worthy Congressional Sword

This Congressional Presentation Sword would be a near-impossible-to-earn ultimate weapon in old RPGs, awarded to players for something asinine like catching 55,000 butterflies. In new RPGs, it would be a $10 DLC.

In real history, it’s a war trophy, presented to John E. Wool, who served in three consecutive engagements: the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, and the Civil War.

By the time the Civil War broke out, he was 77 years of age. Still, he was made commander of the U.S. Army Department of Virginia because he was in relatively good shape—he could mount his horse. Yet Wool already had his fancy sword by then.

In 1854, Congress awarded Wool the Congressional Presentation Sword and Scabbard for his “pivotal role” in helping American forces secure victory at Buena Vista in 1847. The sword was ornamented with various symbols, including an eagle pommel, a corn handle, and a cross-guard of snakes and cactus.^[1]

9 The Carnyx: Annoying Your Enemies for a Winning Edge

Annoying your foe is a time-tested strategy, whether on the blood-soaked plains of the past or the Doritos-soaked PvP arenas of the present.

Throughout history, psychological warfare has proven to be as valuable as physical warfare. The Celts knew this, and between about 300 BC and AD 200, they instilled fear and confusion using a brass musical instrument called a carnyx. The harsh-sounding instrument that featured the head of a wild boar probably also had a flailing tongue.

Vitally and frightfully, the carnyx reminds us that historical combat was just as loud as it was bloody, filthy, and ruthless. And with the carnyx adding to the mind-rending chaos of battle, the Celts leveraged a creative advantage over their opponents.^[2]

8 A Fancy, Creepy Cavalry Parade Helmet

Roman cavalry parading must have been quite an awe-inspiring sight—as long as you weren’t part of the people being paraded against. After conquests and sometimes just because they could, elite units displayed their status with fine helmets, specifically designed for ceremonial activities such as cavalry demonstrations.

This also means that the coolest battle helmets in video games may be historically inaccurate, sadly, because they were too impractical or expensive for use in battle.

The “Nijmegen Helmet” owes its name to its discovery site. Crafted around 2,000 years ago, it was rediscovered in the early 1900s in a gravel bed in a river near the Dutch city of Nijmegen. It’s made of bronze covered with silver and gold flourishes because Rome accrued lots of precious metals—and loved to flaunt that fact.^[3]

7 Weapon Upgrade with a Slick New Skin: Hyena-Handled Spear-Thrower

What’s better than a sweet new weapon upgrade that boosts your damage, accuracy, and range? When said sweet weapon upgrade also has slick updated aesthetics.

Stone Age people created just that, because they loved to throw spears at animals and at each other. But simply throwing them wasn’t always effective. So they produced a surprisingly artistic weapon with vastly improved “stats”: a spear thrower that supposedly depicts a creeping hyena.

The hook where the spear would be attached (for extra leverage) can be seen pretty clearly at the bottom, beneath the portly hyena-cow thing. It comes from the pleasingly named La Madeleine rock shelter in France and dates from 17,000 to 12,000 years ago. This advance was somewhat similar to the leap from handguns to rifles—it allowed spears to be thrown much harder, farther, and more accurately.^[4]

6 Customized Vehicles for High-Level Players

Once your character is all kitted out, the logical next step is to place that character in a well-ornamented vehicle. Ancient people did the same: around Xinzheng City, central China, over 3,000 tombs include burials with weapons, armor, shields, and golden trinkets to display the occupant’s lofty standing in the afterlife.

One such 2,500-year-old discovery from the aforementioned Xinzheng City includes something even better than swords or gewgaws. It contained four fine chariots, alongside the horsepower needed to draw them—because the burial also encompasses one hundred actual horses.^[5]

5 Throwback Weapon: History’s Oldest Gun

How about a historical weapon special release, for those with traditional tastes? For context, firearms are older than many people may realize. Guns predate pirates with blunderbusses and handkerchief-waving gentlemen dueling over well-rouged ladies. One of the oldest surviving firearms is the Heilongjiang hand cannon, which is likely to have been manufactured around the late 1200s.

It must have been quite a surprise to those getting blasted—and to us today—because it does not look like a gun. It has a bulb-shaped chamber for powder, which is lit through a small hole via a fuse. Behind this chamber, a handle would have been attached. It weighs almost 8 pounds (3.6 kg) and measures 13 inches (33 cm) in length. Many of its early counterparts also had this bulbous, vase-like look.^[6]

4 Long-Range Side Weapons: Deadly Darts Are over 16,000 Years Old

Some of the oldest weapons in the Americas have been discovered in Idaho, including 13 razor-sharp projectile points that are up to 2 inches (5 cm) long, dating back to around 15,700 years ago. These discoveries are a few thousand years older than previous projectile findings and, interestingly, they weren’t attached to spears or arrows, but to deadly little darts that cause lots of internal damage.

Here’s the most remarkable point—pun intended: these old Idahoan projectile points share similarities with even more ancient varieties discovered in Hokkaido, Japan, which could have been made around 20,000 years ago.

The similarity between these finds lends more credence to the idea of a cultural and genetic connection between Ice Age populations in Northeast Asia and North America.^[7]

3 Impractical but Cool Weaponry: Ninja-Like “Tiger Claws”

Some weapons just look cool, practicality be darned. In general, pop culture and video games, ninjas or other close-range brawlers commonly wield spiked weapons resembling tiger claws—used to slash faces—even if they’re less efficient than, say, a sword, or literally almost any other weapon that exists or has ever existed.

These historical weapons are real, and they’re called bagh nakh, which fittingly means tiger’s claw in Hindi. They would have been carried in the left hand, leaving the right hand open for another weapon, like a dagger, so you could double-up on damage. Given their lack of practicality, tiger claws were used more for informal feuds than for legit warfare.^[8]

2 Blinged-Out Armor: Mycenaean Armor Looks Great, Resists Modern Bashing

The Mycenaeans from around 4,000 to 3,000 years ago are among history’s most famous warriors, and a prelude to the ancient Greeks. In fact, the most famous epic war adventure, Homer’s Odyssey, is about Mycenaean Greece.

So it’s a decently big deal anytime a piece of Mycenaean armor is unearthed. In the 1960s, a 3,500-year-old set was found, but no one knew whether it was ceremonial or viable for battle. Researchers used a replica and staged a period-specific battle simulation by recruiting 13 volunteers from the Hellenic Armed Forces.

The study found the armor to be mobile and strong, offering excellent protection. And just as essential—it looks great. Expect it as a Fortnite DLC skin soon enough.^[9]

1 Weaponizing Your Mount with Camel Guns

Every gamer recounts with pride and excitement when they reached a high enough level to unlock mounts. The next milestone? Achieving a high enough level to customize and weaponize your mount.

In the same fashion, history is full of weird armaments, but how about the idea of weaponizing a camel? While using animals for war is a terrible tradition, the zanburak, also known as the zamburak, is notable as a unique military innovation. The word is known as “little wasp” in Arabic, Persian, and Turkish, and these guns were used from around the 1700s to around 1850.

The poor camels would be restrained on their knees, and the guns would be affixed and then fired from their backs, as an Eastern equivalent of Europe’s horse-drawn artillery. However, horse artillery proved superior because it was more mobile and packed a much bigger punch, dooming the camel-gun to history’s heap of forgotten weaponry—as well as the cabinets of collectors, just like those rare, unique items that outlive their usefulness but are kept for intrinsic value.^[10]