10 Crazy Cultural Practices from Deep History

Culture includes everything we do, believe, and have done to us. Culture comprises everything humanity has achieved and learned. Looking back into the deep past, we can better appreciate how our civilization has evolved over the vast sweep of millennia.

Some of the following findings stretch back to the dawn of humanity itself, while others reveal the mystic thaumaturgy of the Stone Age. The main takeaway? Be glad you live in an era in which you’re (probably) safe from war cannibalism, rotting steak dinners, and incredibly brutal treatments for infected ears.

Related: 10 Bizarre Fears and Phobias Specific to One Culture

10 War Cannibalism: Prehistoric People Ate Their Enemies

Prehistoric people engaged in some brutal war practices, such as cannibalism. Recently, scientists have described how the Magdalenian people from 18,000 years ago ate their enemies’ bodies and brains. Spoiler alert: It was gruesome. But first, the rationale behind it. Cannibalism has been practiced throughout history for various reasons, including strange rituals. Still, the point of “war cannibalism” is to devour one’s slain foes.

In this case, the grisly practice is suggested by a review of Maszycka Cave in Poland, which included 63 bone fragments and skulls. Using 3D microscopy, researchers found clear signs of “manipulation” on 68% of the bones, the type of manipulation that suggests cannibalism, including the removal of bone marrow, brain, and muscle bundles.

The Magdalenians “processed” these bodies right after death, such as by removing the scalp and then scooping out the “nutrient-rich” brain therein. The bones were then dumped unceremoniously, which suggests the whole war cannibalism thing. This situation may have been exacerbated by dwindling resources during this Ice Age.^[1]

9 Ancient Axe Workshop Is Surprisingly Old

Our early ancestors were smarter and more organized than given credit for, according to the remains of a handaxe factory from 1.2 million years ago. Technically more a “knapping workshop” than a factory, a prehistoric site in Ethiopia gave up an intriguing cache of goods: 600 obsidian handaxes. Almost twice as old as the previously oldest assumed workshop, it’s quite a discovery for numerous reasons.

These old tools are among early humans’ most significant inventions, though they may look nothing like you imagine. There was no handle, just a handheld piece of obsidian (or flint) sharpened through slow, careful chipping.

The volcanic-stone-hewn handaxes are also remarkable for their scope and longevity. They spread throughout Africa, Asia, and Europe about half a million years ago. They continued to be made until about 40,000 years ago, when the ancient humans were eerily like us today, minus the name-brand clothing.

Essentially, this displays the evolution of toolmaking culture, as a workshop requires social considerations, including cooperation, planning, and the sharing of ideas and technologies—back during an epoch when shaped stones WERE truly the premier technology.^[2]

8 Proto-Surgeons Drilled into Patients’ Ears

Evidence for the oldest ear surgery dates back to 5,300 years ago. The skull-with-surgery was found in a Spanish tomb, and it belonged to a 65-year-old woman who suffered TWO ear surgeries, perhaps to treat life-threatening conditions like middle ear infections, which may have migrated into the bone. If so, mucus and fluid buildup would occur both in the ear and the bone, leading to grossness, noticeable swelling, and discomfort.

Needless to say, this was a not-so-pleasant procedure consisting of “circular and abrasive drilling causing unbearable pain under normal conditions.” Therefore, the patient (although I’d rather use the term “victim”) may have been held down or possibly given some kind of psychotropic substance to dull pain or cause unconsciousness.

One potential substance that fits the bill and has regional evidence would be opium. Oh, and if the surgery itself wasn’t painful enough, researchers say they may have found a flint blade that was carefully heated and ostensibly used to cauterize the wound.^[3]

7 Rotting Meat Was on the Menu

A platter of rotting steaks helps scientists figure out what our ancestors ate thousands of years ago. In this case, the Neanderthals of 400,000 to 40,000 years prior—aka the hominins who gave some of us 2%–4% of our DNA.

Older research painted Neandertals as “hypercarnivores” with a hyena-like diet consisting of 70% meat. However, other studies, such as those examining Neanderthal tooth plaque, argue for a much higher veggie intake. The hypercarnivore claim came from bone studies, which revealed certain chemical signatures that suggest Neanderthals ate enough meat to kill a modern person.

Yet, these skeletal traces may be misleading. Instead of eating lots of meat, the Neanderthals may have been eating spoiled meat, which would create a false positive for a hyper-carnivorous lifestyle.^[4]

6 People Invented Clothing Long After Losing Their Body Hair

Lice are a scourge to barbers but a blessing to scientists. It may sound silly, but lice have helped to at least partially reveal one of humanity’s most pressing questions. When did our dirty, naked ancestors start making and wearing clothes?

Head lice, at some point, branched into another type of lice: body lice. Also called “clothing lice,” these pests are specialized with larger claws, adapted for gripping onto clothing fibers rather than strands of hair.

So, how old is clothing according to lice? About 170,000 years, suggests the study cited. This is when lice morphed and switched from infesting our heads to infesting our bodies as well. In related matters, our ape-like body hair was lost a couple of million years ago, though some of us obviously retain more of this ancestral insulation than others.^[5]

5 Were People Forecasting the Future with Spoons?

Weirdly shaped little metal spoons have been found across Western Europe, including Britain, Ireland, and France. Not likely made for culinary purposes, these strawberry-shaped spoons were possibly used to tell the future!

One such spoon, the first found on the Isle of Man, dates back over 2,000 years to the Iron Age. Its use isn’t certain, but it has a cross engraved on its surface. Considering that such spoons are often found in pairs, researchers say that some liquid material may have been poured on the crossed spoon; whichever quadrant the liquid landed in would reveal something about the future.^[6]

4 Young Ice Age Europeans Pierced Their Cheeks

Our ancestors tend to have crappier teeth than we do (though not always) for multiple reasons. Going back to prehistory, some used their teeth to hold things, and others ate gritty foods. They all lacked today’s hygiene practices—though, to be fair, some modern people still do. But what’s weird is that many Stone Age specimens have teeth worn down on the side, where the teeth rest against the inside of the cheeks.

Now, a scientist says he believes he knows why: cheek piercings. However, the piercings in question aren’t as common today. They’re called labrets, and they can sit against the teeth and gradually wear them down. This practice may have been used by Ice Age Europeans as young as 10 years old, which perhaps signified their inclusion in a group or tribe.^[7]

3 When We Settled Down, So Did the Mice

Settling down was a major step toward developing a more prosperous culture—both for us and the mice. Our culture doesn’t only affect us humans; the following find shows that we were changing animals long before we made concerted efforts at agriculture and domestication.

The evidence comes from a slew of fossilized mouse molars, some of which date to 200,000 years ago, at a 15,000-year-old hunter-gatherer camp in the Jordan Valley in Israel. Researchers compared populations of human-habitation-loving house mice to populations of nature-loving field mice that still inhabit the region. They found that whenever humans settled somewhere, the number of house mice quickly surpassed the number of field mice—and vice versa during times of famine and drought.

So, even before the adoption of widespread agriculture and domestication, humans were shifting the local ecological balance in a significant and probably annoying way.^[8]

2 We May Have Survived Because We Could Use Metaphors

Neanderthals probably couldn’t think in metaphors, which helped speed along their demise. Neanderthals are intriguingly weird because they’re somewhat like and somewhat unlike us. Our lineages shared one last common ancestor circa 600,000 years ago, after which Neanderthals evolved in Europe and Homo sapiens evolved in Africa.

Of course, interbreeding means many of us have a bit of Neanderthal DNA within—maybe 2%–4%. Then, around 40,000 years ago, Neanderthals disappeared for multiple murky reasons.

One substantial reason may have been social—the Neanderthal brain wasn’t as socially capable. Language plays a key role, as Neanderthals may have been unable to perform higher acts of abstract reasoning, such as using metaphors. Instead, their brains were tuned toward visual skills instead of language and abstract thought. Fortunately for us, the ability to relate ideas, even significantly different ones, was a huge benefit and a cornerstone of modern cognition.^[9]

1 People Willingly Removed Their Front Teeth to Signal Status

Historical tooth ablation is a practice in which our ancestors intentionally extracted their healthy teeth. Like modern-day body art, perhaps ancient people did this to cement their cultural identity. It could have been done to show their place in a particular group or as a ritual rite to celebrate an important life event, such as crossing into adulthood. And to ensure everyone sees the cool new dental modification, people usually removed the front teeth, like the upper canines.

The evidence here dates back to Taiwan nearly 5,000 years ago, coinciding with an agricultural shift. With extra free time spent sitting around, waiting for things to grow, people also began making pottery and removing their teeth, as one does. Of course, there may be nuances here that we’ll never discern—at least until someone invents a working time machine.^[10]