Top 10 Stupidest Thieves
- Published September 6, 2007 - 44 Comments
Sometimes the best planned crimes can go horribly wrong. Either by accident or stupidity. This is a list of the 10 most stupid thieves.
1. Showing off your booty
Charles Taylor of Wichita, Kansas, was arrested for robbing a shoe store at knifepoint and stealing a $69 pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots on December 18, 1996. At his trial, three months later, Taylor arrogantly rested his feet on the defence table. He was wearing a pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots. The judge, James Fleetwood, was incredulous. ‘I leaned over and stared,’ he later said. ‘Surely nobody would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.’ But it turned out one person was that stupid. Taylor was convicted of aggravated robbery and sent back to jail in his stockinged feet.
2. Wrong Place, Wrong Time
On November 29, 1978, David Goodhall and two female accomplices entered a home supplies shop in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, intending to engage in a bit of shoplifting. After stuffing a pair of curtains into a plastic carrier bag, the threesome attempted to leave by separate exits. However, they were apprehended immediately by several store detectives. Goodhall and his cohorts had failed to notice that the shop, at that very moment, was hosting a convention of store detectives.
3. Checking Out
Eighteen year old Charles A. Meriweather broke into a home in Northwest Baltimore on the night of November 22-23, 1978, raped the woman who lived there, and then ransacked the house. When he discovered that she only had $11.50 in cash, he asked her “How do you pay your bills?”
She Replied, “By cheque” and he ordered her to write out a cheque for $30. He then changed his mind and upped it to $50.
“Who shall I make it out to?” asked the woman, a 34 year old government employee.
“Charles A. Meriweather,” said Charles A. Meriweather, adding, “It better not bounce or I’ll be back.”
Meriweather was arrested several hours later.
4. Keep the Change
In 1977, a thief in Southampton, England, came up with a clever method of robbing the cash register at a local supermarket. After collecting a basketful of groceries, he approached the checkout area and placed a £10 note on the counter. The grocery clerk took the bill and opened the cash register, at which point the thief snatched the contents and ran off. It turned out to be a bad deal for the thief, since the till contained only £4.37 and the thief ended up losing £5.63.
5. The Weld-planned Robbery
On the night of August 23-24, 1980, a well-organized gang of thieves began their raid on the safe of the leisure-center office in Chichester, Sussex, by stealing a speedboat. Using water skis to paddle across the lake, they picked up their equipment and paddled on to the office. However, what they thought were cutting tools turned out to be welding gear, and they soon managed to seal the safe completely shut. The next morning it took the office staff an hour to hammer and chisel the safe open again.
6. Who Was that Masked Man?
Clive Bunyan ran into a store in Cayton, near Scarborough, England, and forced the shop assistant to give him £157 from the till. Then he made his getaway on his motorbike. To hide his identity, Bunyan had worn his full face helmet as a mask. It was a smooth successful heist, except for one detail: he had forgotten that across his helmet, in inch-high letters, were the words, “Clive Bunyan – Driver”. Bunyan was arrested and ordered to pay for his crime by doing 200 hours of community service.
7. The Worst Lawyer
Twenty-five year old Marhshall George Cummings, Jr, of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was charged with attempted robbery in connection with a pure-snatching at a shopping center on October 14, 1976. During the trial the following January, Cummings chose to act as his own attorney. While cross-examining the victim, Cummings asked, “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?” Cummings later decided to turn over his defence to a public defender, but it was too late. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison.
8. Big Mouth
Dennis Newton was on trial in 1985 for armed robbery in Oklahoma City. Assistant District Attorney Larry Jones asked one of the witnesses, the supervisor of the store that had been robbed, to identify the robber. When she pointed to the defendant, Newton jumped to his feet, accused the witness of lying, and said, “I should have blown your —ing head off!” After a moment of stunned silence, he added, “If I’d been the one that was there.” The jury sentenced Newton to 30 years in prison.
9. Wrong Fence
Stephen Le and two juvenile companions tried to break in to a parked pickup truck in Larkspur, California, on the night of September 27, 1989. But the owner caught them in the act, chased them, and hailed a police car. Le and one of his friends climbed a fence and ran. It soon became apparent that they had chosen the wrong fence – this one surrounded the property of San Quentin prison. The suspects were booked for investigation of auto burglary and trespassing on state property, although charges were never filed. “Nothing like this has ever happened here before,” said Lieutenant Cal White. “People just don’t break in to prison every day.”
10. Shooting Himself in the Foot
In February 2004, Carlos Henrique Auad of Petropolis, Brazil, broke into a bar near his home and stole a television set. A few nights later, Auad tried to break in to the same bar through the roof. This time, carrying a gun, he slipped and fell and shot himself in the right foot. Auad went straight home, but failed to notice that he left a trail of blood that led right to his door. He was arrested by police who found the television set.
Homeowners can rely on professional solutions like an ADT security system to keep burglars at bay.
Source: The Book of Lists

















September 6th, 2007 at 5:05 am
hahaha..#7 is great.
#4 seems more unlucky than stupid.
and what is a store detectives convention?
September 6th, 2007 at 5:06 am
dalandzadgad: I guess it is when a bunch of store detectives get together to discuss their trade
September 6th, 2007 at 8:35 am
A couple of guys in Maine recently made an attempt to get on the list: Men swipe marijuana from drug agent’s truck.
September 6th, 2007 at 8:49 am
slublog: haha – thanks for posting that.
September 6th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Large store chains will often have a ‘loss-prevention’ department to oversee security, inventory control, etc.
These aren’t rent-a-cops. Usually they are former police and/or military security folks. When I worked at a large sporting goods store many years ago, we would occasionally have loss-prevention meetings in the store, usually just before or after taking inventory. It was amusing (and a little shocking) to see just how many shoplifters (and employees) got pinched in the couple days a year they were there.
#2 actually happens quite often
October 28th, 2007 at 6:31 am
im kinda confused about number eight. it said that Newton was convicted and when she pointed to him he shouted that she was lying and all. but then it says they sentenced Jones, the attorney, to 30 years. wouldn’t it be newton?
October 28th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Bryce: you are right – thanks
November 16th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Two guys gave up trying to rob my neighbor, they couldn’t get the back door open. If they had tried the front door they could have walked right in, it was unlocked.
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
#6 what a gimp
December 29th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
#8 is like, classic stupid…
April 20th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
3 and 9 are HILARIOUS! LOL!
May 25th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
how about this addendum to the list:
Recently, in my hometown, Rockford Illinois, a teen tried to break into Gamestop late at night. He tried to kick his way through a window, forgetting that he was wearing shorts, and cut his leg. After reaching through the bloody hole, he soon realized that the rolling screen was down. He limped home, embarrassed and, unknown to him, leaving a blood trail all the way to his nearby residency. The police simply followed the trail all the way up to his home and promptly arrested him.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
my professor told me about a criminal who went in a bank and demanded money from the teller but she just laughed at the robber and calmly told him that it was payday for the local police and that about twenty or so cops were in the bank cashing their checks. the guy was arrested and found guilty.
now that is stupid
June 17th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
I once read a story about a thief with the same (real) name as me, but I can’t remember what it was. It might have been that he got stuck in the revolving door on the way in. After the staff freed him, he left, then returned to the same bank to demand money. They started laughing, so he left and got stuck in the door again. The staff called the police. (Or something like that.)
MPW – You can’t hide – I will find you!!!!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
you sure that wasnt you:)
June 17th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Absolutely.
July 13th, 2008 at 9:44 am
#5 made me chuckle, the appearing weld didn’t give them a clue..
“..any moment now..”
July 30th, 2008 at 2:30 am
Most amusing
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 pm
In my town a guy tried to rob the Quik mart, he had his hand in front of his face for a mask then used that hand to pic up the money. My town is prety small so after that everyone knew who it was.
September 1st, 2008 at 10:46 am
Read one about a guy try to rob a liquor store. after managing to get almost $300 from the counter assistant he decided he wanted a drink… Upon asking for the whiskey he was then asked for his ID, which he all to readily handed over. Naturally he was arrested less than 2 hours afterwards
Classic
September 11th, 2008 at 6:56 am
Hello -
It’s possible some of these lists might make a saleable book if collated, alhough quite a few could usefully be fleshed out/rewritten. I am a published author [12 books, some ghost written] with two best sellers in UK. What do you think?
September 18th, 2008 at 8:02 am
I heard of a guy who attempted to try and smash a jewelry store window to rob the place. When he through the house brick at the plexi-glass it bounced back and knocked him out cold
When the police arrived he was still lying on the sidewalk!!
October 8th, 2008 at 1:19 am
#8 is funny. haha
October 16th, 2008 at 11:55 am
#8 is an idiot.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:53 am
stupid
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
This is one of the best lists I have seen on here! Good job. #8 is hilarious. This list is even funnier then the one with actual jokes!
Cheers
January 15th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Just stumbled upon this one!
http://pulse2.com/2009/01/10/alan-heuss-dupes-the-people-that-jacked-his-car-using-a-fake-text-message/
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 am
This made rounds long ago, but figured it was appropriate for this list. I don’t know if it counts since he never managed to steal anything but it’s still funny to watch.
It’s the YouTube clip from the security cameras of an EXTREMELY bad liquor store robbery. Big Fail.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:05 am
spelling mistake – pure snatching on number 7 the stupid lawyer one
but whatever, this website rocks XD
March 10th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
you should make one about the best ones not just the dumbest
April 15th, 2009 at 5:52 am
This one might fall under a stupid victim category but it’s pretty funny. A man’s home was burglarized and of course he called the cops to report it. Among the items reported as stolen was a film canister of weed and a bowl. He also went on to add that the rest of his stash was safe. Needless to say, the cops searched his house, found the stash, and arrested him. I live among mental giants.
April 19th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
i love this list…..soooo hilarious…
especially number 9 and 10
May 28th, 2009 at 5:07 am
What about the ones who leave their wallets at the scene of the crime without realizing it. Also I know recently there was a guy who left his wallet at the crime scene then went back to get, actually asking the police guarding the crime scene tape for his wallet back.
June 24th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I can’t believe these are true stories..are people seriously that stupid?
June 25th, 2009 at 3:14 am
This list is a evidence that the world is full of idiots. Specially on the number 2 on the list.
June 25th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
#9 two thumbs up
July 13th, 2009 at 8:40 am
A woman and two men tried to force Roger Jones in Asheville to let them into his house and brandished a screwdriver. Thing is Roger was a former world kickboxing champion with some obscene degree of mastery (his belt was red and white striped). Yeah they all went to the hospital that day. Roger was still at karakido that night.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:51 am
I have an aunt who is a lawyer. Her favorite case was one in which she was up against nearly unquestionably hopeless odds accusing a man of a small crime I can’t currently recall (shoplifting or handbag theft), and managed to sway the jury in his favor. When he heard the verdict, out of sheer stupidity he got to his feat and said “Thank you all, I’ll never do it again.”
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:25 am
Um you forgot one thing (I’m on the stupid suspects list) when a prisoner(don’t know what prison was that) got away without the guards knowing but still wearing the jail uniform and hired a cab and turns out the driver was an off duty police guard at the jail and did not reveal himself and when he said the adress to him, he drive around, confusing the prisoner and ended up back in jail.
October 4th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Haha number 3 and number 9 are brilliant!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am
2 icelandic guys that are in a hard rock crew one of them broke into a prison
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:34 pm
A guy in sweden robbed a resturant (atleast i think it was a resturant, Problem is he droped his dentures and these had an id number in them in case they got lost.
November 16th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ever heard of the man from Ohio, who tried SELLING DRUGS TO A POLICE OFFICER? WITH A UNIFORM ON? IN HIS MARKED PARTOL CAR?
Now thats what i call the dumbest crime EVER!