Prince Philip is married to Queen Elizabeth II of England, making him the Duke of Edinburgh. He is quite famous in Britain for making some rather embarrassing, though often funny, comments. This is a list of fifteen of the best.
1. China State Visit, 1986
If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.
2. To a blind women with a guide
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
3. To an Aborigine in Australia
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation
“Where did you get the hat?”
5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union
“The bastards murdered half my family”
6. To a Briton in Budapest
“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”
7. To a driving instructor in Scotland
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
8. After the Dunblane shooting
“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea
“You managed not to get eaten, then?”
10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin
“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”
11. On the London Traffic Debate
“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”
12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes
“You look like you’re ready for bed!”
13. Unknown
“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”
14. On key problems facing Brazil
“Brazilians live there”
15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean
“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”
Jeez, this guy just says what’s on his mind…
Aud: boy is that for sure
I love this guy!
Reea: apparently he is an incredibly funny man.
This dude rules.
roflmfao, good ol prince philip.
Legend. Matches Boris Johnson for un-PC hilarity.
prince philip is great, he would make a great stand-up comedian
You missed the best one! At the state opening of the new Welsh Parliament he approached a group of deaf children, who were stood next to a Carribean steel drum band. He looks at the kids and goes;
“Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.”
He also told a 8-year-old he was too fat to best an Astronaut, and following on from your Luxury foods feature came out with this pearler:
“If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”
jimmypecker: hilarious! Thanks for adding those
the best of all… when visiting an historic tomb where thousands of indians had been brutally slaughtered, he turned to his guide and said “is it lunch time yet? I could murder an Indian!”
smg: surely not?! That seems a bit beneath him.
I don’t know about the “is it lunch time yet? I could murder an Indian!” comment, but he did say a a poorly installed fuse box at a factory looked “like it was put in by an Indian”. And there was some other time he referred to a poor carpentry job as looking like it was done by an Indian.
sounds like he’s lived most of his life with his head up his arse.
You missed my favourite! He was traveling by train to Northern Scotland when there was a problem on the line ahead and the train had to stop and a small station in the middle of nowhere. He was obviously put-out. A very nervous station master greeted him on the platform with the words:
(pointing down the platform)
“Just this way your Highness and we’ll entertain you in the first class lounge.”
To which Prince Phillip replied, in his wonderful plummy accent:
“Why? Are you a *****ing juggler?”
why has noone posted this:
“If I were reincarnated, I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”
the royals are sick nazi loving *****s, hang the bastards high, murdering scum
Actually that’s one of the smartest things he’s said. The human population is fast becoming unsustainable. It does need to be culled. It’s self-absorbed jerks like you who think the world was made for people and don’t give any thought to the impact we’ve had on both the environment and other animal species. If i were you i wouldn’t be so quick to call others murdering scum, isn’t that, after ll, the nature of humans?
I’m no royalist, but some you are absolute morons. This is just a really funny guy who happens to be in a very weird role.
ha! he must know he can say whatever he wants ane we will just love him more!!
Well he’s a racist and a bigot, but he’s honest about it. There’s nothing worse than a racist bigot who pretends that they don’t have a “racist bone” in their body.
To be honest, It has nothing to do with Racism or Bigotry, Prince Phil, really just has no common sense. It's not that he thinks he can do whatever he want's, it's just he has no idea that he has said anything.
i have to disagree i think he knows exactly what he is saying he just doesnt care can we not say anything these days without being a bigot or a racist i personally think the man is a genius
Point 8 is perfectly reasonable, but the rest simply demonstrate what a bigoted idiot he is.
All these quips are even funnier in Greek or Danish for that matter.
2) Good line, wrong audience.
8) Well, try to rob a bank with a swan off cricket bat and see how much easier life is for sociopaths if guns are legal.
This is why inbreeding is a bad idea, people!
I’ll believe all this when I see citations. Granted, I’m sure royalty do feel they can get away with anything, but that seems a wee bit over the top.
I head most of them but its very likely that they’re all true. Thats why he’s the second best royal after the late Queen mum, he doesn’t think, he speaks!
I just think he speaks before he thinks and has a very dry sense of humour. Not a lot of poeple can appreciate that.
The Brazil comment was pretty damn funny (Don’t hate Brazilians, don’t even know any Brazilian stereotypes besides that they time travel).
It must be horrible to be quoted each time you say something. we all say things we regret, but we are lucky enough that no-one pays attention. it’s like being under the microscope all the time.
That’s racist! None of that is true.
people who like him are racist. No ifs no buts your racist
That is a really moronic comment. I fear that political correctness is responsible for destroying humour everywhere. If everyone who had ever made a politically incorrect statement or joke was racist, the world would be a dark place indeed. Also, your comment seems to suggest that those who laugh at a politically incorrect joke and those who are friends with or simply enjoy the company of someone who has made such a comment is also racist. I’m not a fool to believe that there are those who make comments such as these to demean and mock those of different ethnicity but in this case and in many other cases, it is simply in good humour and you will find (or at least I have) that the person on the other end of the statement will take the joke quite well and deliver one right back.
Actually Survivor, could it be said that you are discriminating against people with a certain type of humour? Shame on you. No ifs, no buts, that is prejudice.
Totally agree, he was an idiot for calling people racist for laughing.
I’m not sure if racist is the right word, I think he’s just drunk or maybe a result of old age. I still think he should be more deplomatic and considerate in what he says to the public as he’s a prominant figure.
Prince is a weird role. So was head of the Gestapo. Both could have stepped down if they wanted to. If Philip ‘Windsor’ (not his real surname) ever took a moment to reflect on what it means to be born with ‘noble blood’, to rule over ‘subjects’, to collect the taxes and tributes of the ‘base born’ … he would undoubtedly consider it his duty to carry on doing exactly as he has done. Good for the tourist trade eh? He doesn’t even like them. Perhaps the Windsor family should start earning their money and doing a little parade every day outside Buckingham and then the tourists would actually get something worth photographing.
omg… can’t stop laughing.. LOVE #5 — Classic!!! ha ha ha
Lol, he rocks.
Born on a kitchen table in Greece he was.
Can’t stand the Royal family, think they are a waste of money but Phillip does make me chuckle sometimes.
With his gay abandon and iconic carelessness I swear blind he could make a great Australian!
Oh man! I love this guy. Funny as hell, and gives the PC-weenies the finger… takes me back to a time when we could make fun of people without some whiner calling us racists.
2 and 12 are hilarious!
i love prince philip!!!!
Yes, tourists bring in a lot of money blah blah blah but unless you live in London, it’s impossible to appreciate how irritating they are!
Omg, I love the man but is he an idiot or deliberately controversial?
This one:
Local functionary, on receiving Philip at an airport,
“What was you flight, like, Your Royal Highness?”
Philip, “Have you ever flown in a ‘plane?”
“Oh yes, Sir, many times.”
“Well,” said Philip, “it was just like that.”
Apropos. Knocking or hating the Royal Family and conveniently forgetting the vast amount of behind-the-scenes trade charitable and diplomatic work they do and goodwill they create is an easy game.
Hi Dad
Here’s why the royal family gets to live off of taxpayer money forever: they got the country through the middle ages.
I am no racist. I’m not English. And I am not white (by a long shot). But I think he is halariously funny because he is the Queen’s husband who is saying these things.
Just means no matter how polished and majestic your title is, white people are inherently evil. To praise a man with the tongue of satan proves why the ancestors of American blacks called white men, “blue-eyed devils” – HRH proves it!
However, isnt that racist in its self, not like im bothered as such as i have green eyes so i am safe from being any type of devil
Sounds like another excuse to play the race card and have a pop at white people, HRH is the only white man that will have a pop back and everyone hates him for it
Inherently evil, do you have any idea how backwards you sound? Have you ever heard of evolution? That all man evolved from African peoples, no? I suggest you read about it before you ever start shouting about something you have absolutely no historical fact to support your belief. You understand that this is the 21 Century, comment's like that are no longer accepted.
DoYogaFeelGreat – July 21st, 2008 at 2:36 pm
“Oh man! I love this guy. Funny as hell, and gives the PC-weenies the finger… takes me back to a time when we could make fun of people without some whiner calling us racists.
Here is one DoYogaFeelGreat. What do you call a white man with a title? Satan! Hahaha. Now, based on your logic, you cant be a whiner and you cant call me a racist. See how it works?” Just call me “funny as hell”
You will never guess what my role in society is Nat? Yes! You got it! I am a PC weenie who is definately calling you racist. Have a Nice Day x
nat if what you said was actually "funny as hell" then maybe we would all laugh at you making fun of the white man but as you haven't even wrapped your blatant racism in anything that resembles humour you get one big…. FAIL
oh and prince philip is *****ing hilarious
To youknowimright, u will have to kill me first if u want the royals to hang. i would take a grenade for them u anti-british *****er
I'd be by your side Benny
Nat Turner (45),
‘… white people are inherently evil … the ancestors of American blacks called white men, “blue-eyed devils”’
As an inherently evil, blue-eyed devil (who, like all humanity, is descended from an ancestral group of Africans, of course), I find myself distinctly puzzled by that comment. How should we classify the offspring of an American black and an anglo-saxon white with blue eyes? Does their devilishness somehow depend on the colour of their skin and eyes? Or is it determined as a percentage of the quantity of ‘black’ and ‘white’ genes each has inherited from either parent? And is it the percentage as expressed, or as latent? Also, are white people with eyes of other colours devils too, or maybe only little rascals? And what are yellow people, especially those who, unfortunately, don’t get along with black people? Just asking …
Prince Phillip is one of my very few personal heroes. He hasn’t given in to the PC thugs, and I think (intentionally or not) is a champion of free speech!
I love Prince Phillip. I don’t think he’s being a prick. I think he understands that life and people really are funny and odd and interesting and salient.
In fact, he’s the sort of guy who even laughs at himself *(and his Royal Wife and kids and grand-kids, Etal.)
If you really listen to him (or read what’s there without putting words in his mouth) you’ll see he takes life as it comes.
i think some people just take him too seriously, he’s very tongue in cheek and you need to accept that.
To Nat Turner:
alright there are lots of racist jokes out there that mean no harm but calling someone Satan is a leeetle bit too far. Comparing someone to the devil because of their skin colour seems very uneducated and horrible. Also, rascism is usually the result of a joke (nowadays), so where’s the *****ing joke?
And anyway, everyone knows Satan is Jewish
…I joke
I think he is very funny. I also think he is probably bored. He has nothing to do. Can you imagine getting up every morning for the last 25 years and have nothing to do. I think its an over reach calling the man a racist.
Racist is a made up word that the PC crowd uses to demean someone that has the courage to speak the truth about another person who happens to be a different race.
….Right. You were descended from barbarians, have numerous lines of inbreeding in your blood and are genetically disadvantaged as a result. Also this makes you more likely to be retarded.
But wait, that’s not racist, is it now?
I agree with Duffnick. Just because someone chooses to lable Prince Phillip a racist does not make him one. Candor does not make him one. We’re so use to public performances from public figures that it catches us off-guard when one so high up gets tired of pretending that farts don’t stink.
Find the real racists, and go start a campagne against them instead of wasting efforts on Prince Phillip.
If I was blind and he made comment #2 to me, I’d probably pee my pants laughing. I get his corny sense of humour.
bahahaha such funny comments! Kudos to the Prince
Title #2: To a blind “women” with a guide
It’s not “a woman”, two women?
I often see this mistake nowadays and it puzzles me; nobody would ever write “a men”.
I will not ask about the race of the writer though…..
The man is obviously a dry wit with a taste for controversial humour. If you think otherwise then you must think he is completely dull and insensitive, which would make you a poor judge of character in my opinion. If that were the case, I doubt he’d still be in a position to make these comments. Given the amount of quips big Phil fires out, of which there are many, there are comparitively few complaints, because they are taken in the spirit in which they are delivered by the parties concerned. The pathetic offence that people seem so desperate to take is more a reflection on their fragile sensibilities than his offensive nature. You either share his sense of humour or you don’t; I’m with Phil the Greek.
I don’t understand people that don’t like him! I admire the man so much, he says what he thinks we should all learn from his example, plus he is genuinly funny!
I would love to take a cricket bat to that in-breds head. He and his cousin….oops, I mean his wife….freakin “royals”
If they were any closer to America they would all be dead.
I think that’s a bit harsh, all things considered.
(refering to # 60)
He’s a man (with a soul), and has problems like all men and women except that the world is judging him for playing the hand he was dealt.
God Bless Him, I say. God Bless Prince Philip and his wife, The Queen