It’s Friday, so a little humor is in order. I recently stumbled across this amusing little article comparing scenarios taking place in the 1950s and now. The list is American-centric, but everyone will enjoy it I am sure.
Scenario 1
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007: School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3
Scenario: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007: Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario 5
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957: Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007: Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957: Ants die.
2007: BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957: In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. Johnny’s parents sue the school for negligence and the teacher for emotional trauma and win both cases. Mary, jobless and indebted, commits suicide by jumping off of a tall building. When she lands, she hits a car and also damages a potted pot. The car’s owner and the plant’s owner sue Mary’s estate for destruction of property. They both win. [Thanks jeff, for the addition]
Aside from number 1, thankfully the rest of the 1950's scenarios still apply in the UK. =)
True enough, mate.
You forgot a little on number 1:
2007: Mary is accused of being a *****ual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. Johnny's parents sue the school for negligence and the teacher for emotional trauma and win both cases. Mary, jobless and indebted, commits suicide by jumping off of a tall building. When she lands, she hits a car and also damages a potted pot. The car's owner and the plant's owner sue Mary's estate for destruction of property. They both win.
there is always the scenarios of today one could take into account. such as my highschool chemistry teacher sleeping with her underage student while he was drunk. she goes completely un-punished because everyone ignores it, my classmate drops out of school, gets in trouble for getting drunk and trashing a vending macine, and two years later there pulling his body out of the harbour.
great list. love this site. keep upthe good work
sadly, its all true
I didn’t grow up in the 50s, so I wouldn’t know, but more than a few comments here indicate that Penn & Teller’s episode on the unreliability of nostalgia went largely unseen.
THANK YOU.
Poor ants
Ahhh, the way things never were
man i think of the pyrotechnics my friends and I used to create back in the mid 90s and how they would get us labled domestic terrorists these days.
to true.
Jeff: so awful and yet – yes – so true. I have added your extras to the list.
jfrater: it’s an honor. Love the site, btw.
Paul: I agree with you on that note. That’s what I thought.
I think Americans have just become way too afraid of everything…But, you know, I only graduated from school six years ago in 2001. And I remember boys coming to school with guns in the gun racks of their trucks. Important note: I lived in a small hick town where everyone hunted, so it was no big deal. Things may have changed since then, but I also graduated several months for 9/11. I think that’s when EVERYTHING really changed.
Jeff: thanks – but the pleasure is all mine – I am so pleased to have such interesting people commenting here
This is my favorite list so far. Genius and true.
Nici: I think it all boils down to trust – no one trusts anyone anymore. Very sad.
Re: Scenario 6…
Really? Like…..really? Did that happen somewhere?
it happens at least once a year when the high school seniors graduate
No one trust anyone. The sad truth. Hence why I document and provide proof anytime I need. I am very trusting, or I would not post on here. To note, I am also very trustworthy. But I don’t expect anyone to trust me on that statement since is the way of life these days.
TMoraca: I was actually a bit apprehensive about posting this because I thought it might upset people – but I am glad I did now
Ravyn: I trust you
love this list. oh how far we’ve advanced..
Jamie: I’d hope so. I have given you no reason to do otherwise, aye…
The list could be from the 70s and today, because I did most of those things when I was in school. Sad.
dalandzadgad: yeah… erm…
Ravyn: so true
Richard: that is true – corporal punishment was still an option when I grew up in the late 70s
Hell, corporal punishment was an option when I was in elementary in the early 90′s. I’m not even sure when or where it started not being an option, but I remember very clearly being paddled by the principal several times.
Sad but true…I can’t imagine how the future it’s going to be when we are raising the next generation so wrong
How about this one.
Scenario: Johnny goes for a bike ride
1950s 60s 70s
Johnny hops on bike and rides off
2007: Johnny puts on helmet, knee pads & elbow pads along with extra safety reflectors, loads his bike in the car so mom or dad can drive him to the bike path where they can watch him the whole time.
(This is why I’m glad I grew up when I did)
i must say “things shall continue to go from bad to worse”
I’ve had this posted as a blog on my MySpace forever. It is true. (Forrest Gump-like)- That’s all I have to say about that.
Best List Yet…unbridled tort claims have ruined the U.S. …this coming from a law student
Oversimplied, definately, but funny nonetheless.
Hilarious!! Especially #4
I love this website!
Scenario: Jacob misses his bus from New York to Boston, hitch-hikes home
1957: Jacob gets home in four hours, thanks the man and pays him 10 dollars for his troubles.
2007: Jacob gets abducted, killed, cut up into tiny pieces and fed to dogs.
Wow, The biggest change from the 1950's to now is the media. We here about how bad things are and how much worse it is today. But this scenario has about the same likelyhood today as in 1957. We've let the media just report these stories which get them ratings until we've actually believe its worse. In the early 2000's everyone was convinced child abduction was at an all time high and the world has spiralling to Hell but the truth was it was down very significantly from the 1980's but report 200% more than it had been then.
Reading this list, some people may get nostalgic about the 50′s and forget that it was also a time when african-americans couldn’t even attend the same schools as white people
Yet in the 1950s, most blacks got a diploma, most black households included a father, black on black violence was nowhere near the level seen today, black illegitimacy rates were the same as those of whites and black home ownership rates were far higher than they are today.
Just saying.
EAL: that is very true indeed – though one can still be nostalgic for the 50s without tacitly accepting segregation.
Very True!!
I agree that everything has become so damn complicated now…people are prisoners of fear..and the laws and authorities help fuel this. i’m talking from expirience, I had to serve jail time, take anger management, and be on probation for 6 months for simply slapping a guy, not punching, SLAPPING! And get this, he started it..we tried to take care of it outside of school but I guess he wanted to show off at school..he ended up looking stupid so, he pressed charges ..i love the way things work now adays..lol
Joe Blackk: You spent time in jail for slapping a kid in a male to male schoolyard brawl? That is utterly disgusting.
Ants die ! Haha..
A potted PLANT or POT?
bizzoony: So true! Haha. Good one.
I should be ashamed but,these are sooo true its kinda funny!!
How sad that we all agree that they are true! Not only is it a trust issue, IMO, it’s a responsibility issue. No one takes responsibility for their own actions any more! There is always someone else to blame for every thing!
What about this one-
Woman goes to McDonald’s and orders coffee, then accidentally spills coffee.
1957: Woman receives 2nd degree burns, and vows to never be so clumsy again
2007: Woman sues McDonalds for not telling her the coffee was “hot”, wins millions which forces McDonalds to print “Caution! Contents Are HOT” on all of their coffee cups.
SHEESH!
Actually, she got third degree burns and lots of blistering and skin damage. If you look at the actual case and now the bs the internet spells it out to be, the coffee was significantly hotter than it should have been.
How can you guys say this is “so” true. I guess its funny but its hardly true. For example, a lot of students bring aspirin to school and don’t get searched for drugs. Maybe i’m just being paranoid.
Hannah: excellent addition – that just stunned me when I heard about it.
Tom: I guess a lot of it is hyperbole, but the fact remains that while the situations are exaggerated, it does show the mentality we have now compared to the 50s.
It's sad but true that teachers and administrators have to monitor common over the counter drugs, because kids are bringing them to school, sharing / selling them to friends and getting high. Cough syrup is an especially common choice.
Tom,
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. ~Doug Larson
That’s why I said it was oversimplified but like J said, it is funny.
Dana: that is a brilliant quote!
or how about this:
Little Susie wants to become a scientist.
1957: Susie is told she has a silly imagination and that women aren’t smart enough for that. She becomes a housewife.
2007: she becomes a scientist.
Or this:
little Robert is black.
1957: Robert is refered to as ‘boy’ or the N word, beaten and intimidated. He has no role models.
2007: Roberts most prominent role models are rappers who sing about killing, drugs, *****, and ‘life on the streets’, or athletes. White people avoid him.
There are so many that you missed! What about one about black people having to attend “seperate but equal” schools and socially acceptable racism? And what about one where the only job a woman could hold was as a secretary? Where violence was far more common than it is today or only 2 in 3 americans had full social status? Ah, the 50s…what a great time.
Joe – two words: Curie, Obama.
Joel: as I just said – Women had many great jobs through history – even Queen Elizabeth II worked in a factory during the war.
Scenario 1
2057: Doesn’t happen, no guns anymore and no killing for sport either!
*Fingers crossed!*
i would hope that you understand that when you take away guns, you're only taking them away from the honest people. people who rob liquor stores, murder, rape, deal drugs, etc. won't really care if they're violating one more law by owning a gun.
Well, at least we dont have to worry about the cold war or extreme racial injustice any more….
Oyster: potted PLANT. Guess I had… other things on my mind.
“Well, at least we dont have to worry about the cold war or extreme racial injustice any more….”
Hehe, yeah. Seems like once you scratch the surface things ain’t changed that much, yet.
I agree with some of those but a lot of the 1957 ones seem to condone child abuse which is not cool.
its amazing how realistic this list is. i am never having kids. ugh.
hmmm, i agree with parts of this list but i dont like that it how it makes child abuse seem like an innocent practice of the days gone by.
yes some kids who are hit can go on to be successful and unscathed however physical abuse never yeilds a postive outcome and who are we to determine the difference between ‘disciplene’ and child abuse.
phoetus1: smacking is not child abuse – beating is. Smacking was common place before recent years and the greatest world leaders, holy people, visionaries, and entrepreneurs of their day did not suffer. It is also difficult to determine the difference between normal and over eating – should the government legislate that too? You are also using loaded words by referring to smacking as “hitting” – hitting was not a term used to describe smacking in days gone by – it has emerged from the anti-smacking crowd to demonize it.
ok, valid argument
however the two examples used in this list feature a child been hit with objects which i believe consitutes as beating a child
i may be wrong
i just really dont like the idea of innocent children been hurt when words would do just as well
phoetus1: you can’t reason with children under 7 or 8 – that is why that age is called the “Age of Reason” – therefore you need alternate means for teaching – ie, smacking
And to be honest – compare the behaviour of today’s children with that of the past – I would say there is no doubt that using words has failed dismally.
Amen brother!!!
jfrater: well all i know is that been hit as a child has *****ed me up royally
i will never hit my child
either you weren't 'hit' so much as 'beat', or you were gonna turn out f*cked up anyway. maybe the therapist who told you that a spanking was abuse touched you in a bad way. maybe you should seek more counseling. maybe you should quit whining and man up.