Television has always had its share of out-there plots, weird characters and completely unbelievable moments. I got to thinking, what would it be like if someone my age had never gone to school, but instead had been raised by watching TV. Here are a few of the ways he might believe the world works.

The A-Team

36. I learned that it is possible to fire millions of rounds of ammo and throw several thousand grenades over the course of several years and never actually hit anybody with a bullet or wound anyone with flying shrapnel.

35. I learned that it is possible to afford said ammo and grenades without holding down a regular job and without charging half of the people who hire you for your mercenary services because they are too poor to pay you for it.

34. I learned that if you are a bad guy it is never a good idea to lock the A-Team into a garage well stocked with sheet metal and acetylene torches.

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Humans have kept animals as pets since the dawn of time. They make loyal and loving companions. But we’ve come far from the days when man and beast would sleep on the ground beneath the stars together. Our pets have recently become exceedingly pampered and fawned over. The products sold in specialty pet stores are evidence to this trend. Here are ten of the most ridiculous, useless, and just plain stupid pet products.

10. Clothing

There’s no better way to irritate your furry friend that to press them to the floor and forcibly clothe them. You’ll get the satisfaction of seeing your costumed pet stare perplexedly at you for a few seconds and then commence removing/ripping/soiling his or her new outfit.

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Throughout the history of modern cinema, there have been many iconic heroes and villains. Here is a Top 10 list of the baddest movie characters that you wouldn’t have a chance against in a fight. One condition though, they have to be human.

10. Marv Sin City

Starting off the list, we have Marv, a famous protagonist from Frank Miller’s graphic novel and film ‘Sin City’. He’s such a badass that he just shrugs off multiple gunshot wounds; being hit by a car; a blow to the head by a sledgehammer; and even electrocution. To add insult to injury, he often takes trench coats of the people he kills. He’s also an incessant drinker with an extremely high alcohol tolerance. Meaning he can probably kick your ass after a few six-packs and a bottle of vodka.

Dons: trench coat, leather pants and army boots.
Badass Quote: “That there is one damn fine coat you’re wearing.”

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It’s the Day After Christmas, When All Through Your House,
Those Brown Monkey Socks and That Way-Too Big Blouse,
Need to Go Back to the Store Right Away,
So No One Will See You Dressed That-A-Way!
I Mean Who in Their Right Mind Would Give Such a Thing
As a Bright-Orange Tie or a Plastic Mood Ring,
So it’s Off to the Store You Head With a Dash
Wondering Aloud Why You Didn’t Get Cash.

10. Duplicate Toys

When you have a big family like mine, it is a wonder this little mishap doesn’t happen all the time. Yes, there are lists a-plenty throughout the preceding months, however -probably similar to your family- my parents and grandparents and steps- and -in laws like to go out on limbed tangents and get whatever they so desire. This can, and has, resulted in gift duplications that only serve to lead to irritated children who, so verbally, announce, “Hey, we already got this toy the other day!” I sure hope you kept the receipt.

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