When I was a kid I really wanted to become a Mad Scientist. Frankenstein (the patron saint of the Mad Scientist) had Electrical and Biological toys. So here is a shopping list for both. Visit the links and dream of the best la-bora-tory ever. I’m sure that ListVersers will have suggestions if something is missing – but don’t just tell us, please track down an on-line source and post the URL to the item (a page with a photo would be nice).
Mad Scientists like these switches because they are dramatic to flip and it is easy to see the connection. Not to mention all those exposed electrical circuits. The best ones are double pole, double throw. Cheap enough to get a bunch and mount them on the wall. These are mounted on a bakelite base. These are essential components when trying to build a living creature as they will make the connection between your corpse and your power source.
You can buy one here.
This item was used in conjunction with a Ruhmkorff coil in electrical experiments. It dates to about 1890. From the picture above we can clearly see how it would fit well in to your basement or garret laboratory. A must have for all Mad Scientists.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure why we need one, but it goes with the really cool Electrical Spark Resonator and it looks scary – a mad scientist is bound to have a use for one of these.
You can buy it here.
This is a requirement for all laboratories. A proper lab needs at least two, of course. These are less dangerous than Tesla Coils. When working in the lab, these should be switched on at all times to give ambience. Get the biggest ones you can so you can make all the other mad scientists jealous.
You can buy it here.
For really intense experiments you will need at least 500,000 Volts. There is a great video from their website is attached. Here is a video clip of the tesla coil in action. This is absolutely essential for your lab – without it you can’t really call yourself a mad scientist. Combined with the Jacob’s Ladders, your electricity effects needs are all taken care of.
You can buy it here.
This discharge coil can generate very high voltages at a high frequency. Less than the Tesla coil, but very impressive looking – and mad science is all about looks!
You can buy it here.
This is sure to be the hit of any party, capable of sparks 10+ inches in length. Sure it’s expensive, but no lab should be without it.
You can buy it here.
It is critical to wear one of these when doing any type of experiment. Everyone knows that without a head mirror the operation can not be a success.
You can buy it here.
These are an obvious tool for the mad science lab. Once your corpses have been delivered, you will need these to cut up your bodies so you can sew them back together for that truly authentic “monster” type creature.
You can buy it here.
You need a good supply of these – some stains you just can’t remove!. Very stylish, for men and women. You may want to get a few pocket protectors too.
You can buy it here.
I’m not sure that this is legit, but for about 50 dollars you too can wire-up someone’s brain! Don’t make the same mistake Dr. Frankenstein made – check the quality of your brains before you use them!
You can buy it here.
The best specimens need to look good on the shelf. Somehow frogs, worms and grasshoppers are not impressive enough. Not all suppliers can ship to all locations. But at least you don’t have to go out digging at night in cold graveyards! A Mad Scientist needs at least:
A Brain, a few eyes, a bull testicle (better get two), and from a source I didn’t expect (Christianbook.com), a Heart and fetus (pig).
Contributor: stevenh
jfrater; you could have asked.Just think how disturbing that thing is on the receiving end. Sometimes it is safer to appear uninformed than to find out unprepared!
Now, if I have 1/3rd of the listed items already does that qualify me for a b00bie prize? or perhaps a wedgie?
Open wide and say “ahhhh”?
Hahaha, Randall.
You, sir, have mastered an artform.
At times like these, I can only think: “I’m not a *mad* scientist…I’m an *ANGRY* scientist!”
Mom424: I really wish I had
talidorn: if you can send us photographic proof you own 1/3 of the items here, and maybe a photo of the monster you are preparing, we will definitely give you a prize of some sort!
Randall: where is your next list submission? After the brunettes I expect to see a “wry humor” list from you, if you please.
talidorn: Prize = Psychiatric consult? LOL
jayfray and otay: i’m not sure i could hit the back button any quicker. that was most disturbing. your warning was more of a challenge. i should have listened.
DiscHuker: hahah – I hope you weren’t at work
To spare the rest of those poor souls out there from being duped into looking at it, a speculum is an *****-widener. If you’re still curious, may god have mercy on your soul, because some things just can be unseen.
So no one remembers those great Mad Scientist toy sets from the 1980′s then huh? comment #30. They rocked! I loved my alien dissection kit! Wish I still had it. Maybe that is why no one wanted to hang out with “that weird kid”.
SlickWilly: hahaha – I wish I could “un-see” it that’s for sure!
jfrater:
I was, in fact, just putting the finishing polish on the brunettes list, and mourning the ones I had to leave off, in order to keep it to 25. (Sorry, but no way I can make it smaller). Now, just have to compile the pics I wish used, and then off it’ll go.
A wry humor list? Sounds interesting, but what format did you have in mind? Quotes?
A list on wines is forthcoming and greatest works of modernist literature… the art one hopefully after that.
My lifelong dream come true! thanks Jamie!
Damn! The lab I work in doesn’t have any of this stuff. Just a bunch of stupid boring *****yzers and lots of dumb tubes of blood. Sometimes, I do feel I may go “mad” here! No windows, bad lighting. . . hey . . . wait a minute!
Great list stevenh!
sorry, thanks stevenh!
Im gonna get all of these and just have them in the back of my basement, then when my friends come, i’ll take them back there and scare the hell out of ‘em!
A speculum is an instrument for gynecological exams. But knowing how perverse some people can be….i guess it could work as an “***** widener” *shiver*
otay: Bad touch, bad touch!!!
To Csimmons, Angelina, Mom424, Randall, Slick Willy, etc:
Is the ListVersers who make it fun and worth while.
*It’s*
re #77 and #69 …. I guess we shouldn’t ask how you got the name ‘SlickWilly’ ?
stevenh: However you think I got the name, that’s how I got it. I’m sure it’s much more interesting than the truth anyway.
otay: Ah, didn’t realize it was a legitimate medical tool. I’ve only ever heard them being used for *****ual purposes. Makes sense though. Still gross.
You guys have no idea what we go through! Ask any girl about “scoot to the edge” and usually the speculum is just above the freezing point when they insert it. . . ok, ok, I’ll stop. The horror! The horror!
bah, I onley have the Assorted specimens, I guess I have some shopping to do…
You forgot one to be a mad scientist you need a vendetta. You have to be getting back at someone for firing you or back at the community for mocking your work.
what about a mysterious patron whose money and assistance only lead to the inevitable final confrontation where half the lab gets destroyed?
Yes, i am speaking from expierience. Do not trust Dr. Acula
Angelina; Thanks a ton for the flashback! Scoot up here, now just relax. Just relax is an oxymoron, ‘specially when the fella telling you to has a speculum in his hands….
Mom: Yeah, gotta go in May. . . such is life! Wow, that was TMI, huh?
pookyB: I, too, have had run-ins with Dr Acula – a painful experience. I second your suggestion not to trust him!
i shoulda listened to you guys and mitch hedberg. i went to visit Dr. Acula and all he wanted to do was take my blood.
This is why I love listverse. The sometimes hilariously weird lists, and the hilariously weird responses they can get.
DiscHuker: bugger! If only we had this list earlier you could have totally avoided Dr Acula and his wicked advances!
Nelia: ’tis why I love it too – it’s all about the comments
jfrater: As you are aware, I am a “newbie” here, but i must tell you that you have a wonderful site. I look forward to each new list, not only for entertainment, but for education as well.
Lol – to clarify any questions about the speculum….I am a nurse.
definitely need the following:
-rubber gloves
-a busty blonde assistant to keep you busy while the bones set and the potions boil
-lots of shelf space
re: # 36, 45, and 52 – you owe me a new keyboard and monitor
otay: hahah – the sites you must have seen! Thanks for the compliment on the site – I hope you get many more hours of joy out of it
A few things missing: Thunder, lightning, and lots of dry ice. Mad scientists are very theatrical!
beakers, beakers… it’a all about the beakers!
oh, and a Kaa RaZy hair-do
Annnnnnnnd…..
I win!
Take that, Csimmons!
_>…..>_
Lynn: Just beat me to it! I was scrolling down this list thinking “Crazy hair, crazy hair, why hasn’t anyone mentioned crazy hair!”, and there it was on the last post. This costs less than many of the other items on the list.
Megalomania or at least monomania.
yay for willy!
ACB: You could take that statement a few different ways!!
I think if you’re using any or all of these items you need some serious Mad Scientist Goggles!
http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/thisweekineducation/upload/2007/10/2007_7young-frankenstein.jpg
http://www.streettech.com/storypics/goggleDIY.jpg
Safety first!
P.S. I love Bill Nye the Science Guy. =D
Slickwilly: You are just the worst kind of person
I go to the gym for 2 damn hours,,,, aw screw it, at least im still top commenter!
And tomorrow, Jamie said he has made a your view that will create violence! Note to Jamie, I get home at 3:10 from my school EST, so make it then!
I want number 4!
Did someone mentioned lasers? Especially attached to shark’s foreheads?
Great list, ty for the laugh!
Mad scientists need a dentist’s chair with restraints. Lynn is correct, it’all about the beakers and flasks producing noxious vapors
My new favorite list
There is an Ed Wood movie somewhere in this list just screaming to get out LOL.
You forgot glass equipments and you call yourself a mad scientist!!! Shame on you! What kind of mad scientist will work in a lab where there is no colourfull chemicals running through tubes and boiling in glasses.
A deaf and mute butler who takes care of your household while you are busy in the lab, but can’t tell people about your experiments, because he doesn’t talk.
Ok you guys I can not understand how any one could use a speculum for *****ual pleasure that is just to….to…to……I am just speechless. I don’t even want to think about what kind of pictures there might be out there!!!! LOL
Those things cause enough pain and discomfort being used legitimately, I could not imagine letting someone use one on me during *****. That is just wrong on so many many levels. UGH!!!
Otay just curious what would a mad scientist need a speculum for in the first place. Wouldn’t he be putting bodies together not doing pelvic exams. I just think its funny that the speculum ended up being on this thread LOL And that open up and say Ahhh comment I just about fell out of my seat on that one.
Slickwilly and Randall you guys really gave me another good laugh this morning after a long *****ty midnight shift. I really needed that. People really suck sometimes no I take that back……and fall back on one of my favorite sayings……MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!!!! Oh yea and belligerent drunk *****s do too!!!!
Ok end rant…….sorry just needed to vent for a minute. Think I am good now. Had a good rant and a good smoke perfect end to the work day!!
Ok make that a good rant, a good laugh, a very good smoke and now I am drinking a Maple Porter………I feel a bit funny drinking at 8 in the morning but since I just got off of work i figure it cant be that bad right!
I want my dumb, blonde nurse assistant..
As a mad scientist, I must decry the heavy handedness in portraying only one discipline. Far too much emphasis has been placed on the electrical side of things, and really, mad science is INTERDISCIPLINARY science. You can’t play god with electricity alone! Particularly not in this post atomic age, genetic engineering age. While grey goo is really a home-made lab specialty, some readily available Uranium ore would be in order. Maybe some fluorescent jellyfish genes ready to be spliced into an avaiting…I mean awaiting organism of your choice? And, while the equally essential slightly less mad laboratory assistant (hump optional) is really another custom piece of work (check local “head hunter” agencies)the obligatory signature laugh/ cackle can not be ignored, and is free.
I really must back up my colleague Nanoalchemist on this point about Mad Science. Here at the University, (which hosts the top School of Mad Science in the country—housed in a tall, imposing brick tower with no windows–soundproofed, of course) we have long treated it as a multi-disciplinary subject. We are long past the age when mad scientists practiced mere galvanism and vivisection, splicing together the body parts of apes and humans, humans and leopards, wildebeast and lungfish… and past the time when merely bringing back life to the dead could get you accepted at a prestigious mad science college.
This is, after all, the 21st century, and even mad scientists must keep up with the times. They must be versed not only in the skills of creating teenage frankensteins (still a pre-requisite for many upper-division mad science courses) but in Mad Science Graduate School we require them to have extensive knowledge of a myriad of topics simply to be accepted: over-taxing nuclear reactors; lasers and Death Rays; genetic tampering/meddling; violation of the laws of god/nature (field study); nano-pathways to cell manipulation (runs the gamut from creating deadly viruses to breeding super-powered komodo dragons); physics of mind control; veterinary “medicine” (PETA is a constant irritant so this particular area is kept quiet); botany (it’s not just about man-eating plants anymore) and, of course, electives like Women’s Studies. Or some mad scientists take Art Studio.
Mad Science has come a long way—though yes, it’s still also all about the Tradition.
what about the angry mob? Every mad scientist needs an angry mob with pitch forks and torches, ready to kill. It’s like a mad scientist fan base, if there’s no angry mob…is the mad scientist really making an impact?
I M THE ONE!
Excellent list….and great comments. My boys went to school the other day dressed as scientists, (a ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ day.) Both insisted on having the white coat, glasses and the big ‘white, crazy’ hair.