This is a list of things which everyone can do while driving to have a dramatic impact on traffic. Mostly they’re the same things people are taught in driver’s ed class. They can have a very real and demonstrable impact on traffic conditions, particularly on the massive expressways, parkways, and turnpikes of large cities.
You know you’re the best driver on the road; just like me and everyone else. In a way driving defensively means you assume everyone else is a little slower to react, a little more distracted (like the young lady above), perhaps even a little stupider. Since you can’t control how smart or quick someone else is, all you can do is be as responsible as you can for your own piece of road. It’s more of a philosophy than a single skill. The goal is to keep the flow of traffic smooth by not giving the other drivers anything to react to, and giving yourself ample time to react to anything else.
Cruise control is one of those things that works best when everyone uses it. If the person in front of you is having a hard time maintaining a steady speed then it’s going to be impossible for you to keep a reasonable distance and a constant speed if you can’t go around him. Same for the guy behind you and the guy behind him.
Because you’re not having to use your foot to maintain speed you’re better prepared to react by braking should the need arise. Just don’t let not having to work as hard cause your mind to wander.
So you’re going down the highway and there’s construction ahead—two lanes go down to one. Two things cause the congestion at the merge; drivers in the through lane fighting to not let anyone in, and driver in the blocked lane trying to race to the front of the line. It’s a vicious cycle; drivers cheat often times because they can’t find a gap in the through lane cars. Drivers in the through lane often close the gap to keep cheaters from getting in.
There’s no way to really prevent some measure of congestion when the same number of cars try to fit onto less road, but drivers can minimize congestion by moving over into the through lane early then leaving enough space ahead of them for other drivers to merge as well.
This is one instance where the way you’re driving can have an effect on traffic far ahead of you.
A reasonable distance between you and car ahead depends a lot on how fast you’re going. Some drivers are taught to keep a car length for every 10 miles per hour. More common these days is the ‘two second rule’ which states you should keep two seconds between you and the car in front of you. Pick a spot on the road, a signpost or other marker. Two seconds should elapse between the time the leading car passes the mark and the time you do. As your speed increases so does the distance which can be covered in two seconds. At 60 MPH (96.5 KPH) this is 176 feet (53.6 m).
Reaction time isn’t worth a damn if you aren’t capable of reacting. Aside from intoxication or distraction, a major driving impairment is fatigue or boredom. Even if you aren’t sleepy or tired your mind can still drift away from the act of driving. Try not to look at any one thing for more than two seconds. Alternate between focusing on the road ahead and other things important to driving such as the speedometer, the gauges or the rear view mirrors. When you look away from the road don’t look at anything for any longer than it takes to actually get the information before looking back up the road… two seconds at the most.
If all you focus on is the car in front of you then you will only have however long it takes to drive the distance between you if something happens. By paying attention to what’s going on as far down the road as you can see you give yourself a better chance of seeing and reacting to whatever the car in front of you will be having to react to. Try to predict what the cars in front you will have to do… will the guy in the tricked out Nissan slow down or will he pass the old lady in LTD on the shoulder? Plan ahead what you would do if something goes wrong based on what you see down the road.
Remember we’re trying to keep the flow moving slowly. If you do have to change lanes you want to do it without causing other drivers to have to react quickly to your lane change. If you’ve ever wondered what those mirrors on the sides of your car are for, they’re for looking to see if there’s anything in the way. Mirrors are great, but I’ve never seen a car that didn’t have massive blind spots on both sides behind the driver that the mirror can’t see. Giving a quick glance over the shoulder will let you know if you can change lanes without running someone else off the road.

If you’re the type of driver that does the posted speed limit, no matter what the ‘real’ speed limit is then the thing you can do stay in the right lane. And by ‘right’ lane I mean correct. In America it’s to the right, and this time by ‘right’ I mean ‘not the left’. By doing this you minimize the disruption to the flow caused by faster cars having to merge into other lanes to go around you. This helps keep the over-all flow of traffic smooth.
If some asshat comes up behind you flashing his lights and following so close that you can see the clenched white knuckles on the steering wheel just merge to the right if you can and let him go. He’s a disruption to the flow of traffic as well as a jerk. He likely will leave waves of congestion in his wake, but the further he is from you, the less dramatic his effect will be.
To paraphrase the late great George Carlin, “ever notice how everyone driving faster than you is a maniac and everyone driving slower is an idiot?” The real speed limit is defined by the car in front of you. The best way to keep traffic flowing is to flow with it. If everyone on the road is doing a nice smooth 70 mph the one guy doing 55 is going to disrupt that flow in at least two lanes; the lane he’s in and the lane(s) the drivers behind him have to merge into to go around him.
By the same token the Cannonball Run wannabe doing 20 mph faster than everyone else will have to weave in and out of traffic to maintain that speed. Not only is he not likely to make up much time but he’s going to cause drivers all around him to react as he changes lanes. I realize that I am endorsing going faster than the posted speed limit just because everyone else is driving that fast, but it really can contribute to safety.
It’s been proven that tailgating is the main cause of the ‘phantom’ traffic jam. You know the kind where all five lanes of road choke to a crawl for miles, and then about the time you expect to be passing a bloody 18 car pile-up all the cars ahead of you just evaporate without cause. Chances are really good it was caused by tailgating ahead of you. The concept is so simple it can be demonstrated with as few as three cars, all following close to each other. If the car in front taps on its brakes just for an instant, the second car has to brake harder to avoid a collision. The third car has to over-brake even more, practically coming to a stop. A few seconds later the tailing cars return to their previous speed like nothing happened. Now imagine that same scene multiplied 10,000 times.
Phantom traffic jams travel against the flow of traffic in massive waves which can be observed from the air, or if the road conditions are right they can be seen moving toward you. Distance equals reaction time. If everyone kept enough distance to give them enough reaction time the cars in the back wouldn’t have to jam the brake pedal to the floor. Space between the cars breaks up the wave, essentially robbing it of its energy.
Keeping some distance also gives you a better view of what’s going on ahead of the car in front of you. You have a better chance of seeing what it is the car in front of you will have to react to if your windshield isn’t filled by the tail end of the car ahead.





























I have a few pet peeves myself – and an awesome driving record – I know of which I speak.
Do not slam on the brakes to merge or change lanes. Time it and accelerate – if you're going the speed of traffic or a little faster it is impossible for you to be rear-ended.
You do not need to stop to turn. You are not driving a box with wheels; your car has suspension and steering. Use it! How many times have I seen traffic start the bottleneck while someone is making a right-hand turn (left for you folks from everywhere else in the world)
Do not rush up to the next lights in order to stop – if you pace it not only will you allow other folks into the flow of traffic, you will also save gas and time. I love the feeling of sailing through the lights right on past the guy who roared on up there just to be first. (not that I wouldn't beat him had I been nose to nose at said lights – What with my awesome 'stang and all).
Be considerate of others – if everyone did this behind the wheel not only would traffic move more smoothly, more folks would arrive at their destinations in one piece.
@saber25 (18): You're yelling unnecessarily eh? We're not all barely pubescent teenagers you know.
And I did. Walked my bike on the sidewalk for 3 blckos until I got to the intersection by Forest Hills, then I jaywalked my bike (which BTW, kicks ass) across the intersection. Sweetness.
staying to thr right and passing to the left will likely cause and accident here.
wow me grammy no so owsome tonighting.
I bet this list doesn’t make the next book! Dull!
It might do if the next book has a list of the lists most liekly to save your ass list in it.
hmmm…nice list…just like your book
i’m guessing Barold is the asshat mention in number 3
My biggest pet peeve in the world is bad drivers.
WTH?!!! boring list….. (-_-)ZZZzzzz
My general rule for merging is one in. As in, I will let one car in in front of me, then no more. Seems fair to me, especially if there an arse who hasn’t bothered getting in the right lane early enough.
love your lists, however I’d just like to refute your comments in point number 8… I used to be an early merger, however studies have shown that early mergers are inadvertently making the congestion worse. Merging early effectively turns a 2 lane road into 1 lane earlier than necessary. The best thing to do to minimise traffic congestion is for cars in the ending lane to utilise it to the end and then the two lanes merge one car at a time. Just my 2 cents…
Regarding item number one, take a look at how traffic jams can start with no actual cause…
How much more likely are they when there IS a cause?
Going for my license test on Friday, thanks!
It’s a dull list. nice try though.
zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz…
I wish everyone would follow these simple rules.
It would make traffic so much more enjoyable !
One more thing I would like to add.
In the Netherlands they have a fantastic system to correctly merge.
They would post signs early on, asking not to merge just yet. And at the end they put a sign to merge. In the other lane they ask to keep distance so the mergers can enter easily.
This actually works very well…
Unfortunately they do not use it always (and it’s the only country I ever saw it).
ok, we’ll forgive you this time jfrater
Oh c’mon what the hell is this thing? Unless you are a driver then you know much more than this. But mice list btw, and please, MORE HUMOUR AND FUNNY SIGNS AND FUNNY AND FACTS AND SCIENCE AND ACTION LISTS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck Random
#10 is the right picture, but wrong caption and list placement. Suggest a bump to #1 and a rewrite to TURN OFF YOUR F*****G CELL PHONE!
@Hendershot (16):
you beat me to it. This system does actually work pretty good, you’re supposed to drive all the way through to the end, and only then merge. And the people in the through lane have to let only one car in front of them merge. Works just like a zipper..
Keep left, pass right. That’s how I know it.
ok.. each to his own.. I found this SOOOOOO boring!
Good list for this time of the year. There seems to be a surge in car accidents and fatalities during this coming holiday season.
It has been said before: Merging early is *NOT* the most reasonable thing to do. Stay on your lane until the end, *THEN* merge (or let the others merge, respectively). This makes it easier for everybody. In German, they even have a word (“Reissverschlusssystem” = “zipper system”) for it.
–
Jeremy
In Australia (and other left road driver countries, America being right road drivers)it is drive left and pass right. When the sign appears, it seems that only a few of us see it.
Freaky coincidence! I just got my driver’s license today, and now Listverse has a post about driving safely.
ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO IMPLY SOMETHING?
Your best chance at survival while driving is to get the ***** out of my way, because I am full of angst while I’m driving. I don’t care if you’re doing tai-chi while behind the wheel as long as you do it quickly and move over when you see me in your mirror.
A note to the elderly: stay home. If I hear one more god damn story about how gramps thought the *****ing accelerator was the brakes after he plowed into a crowd of people or gramma was fiddling about with her crochet needles when the storefront jumped out in front of her car I’m going to puke. Drop your keys and back slowly away from the vehicle. If you do need to pick up some items at the 5-N-Dime or your 87 prescriptions from Rexall, do it when I’m at work. Remember, the drug store opens at 9 and Matlock comes on at 5, so there is absolutely no reason for you to be on the *****ing road during rush hour. If you do happen to get in front of me doing a ‘devil be damned’ lefty because your blood thinner kicked in gave you an extra energy boost momentarily, you’d better hit the gas. Otherwise you’re going to have a bucslim sized hole right through the middle of you.
Note to idiot teeny boppers: Little Jimmy doesn’t give a ***** if you have extra eyeliner on before your date, but if you think you need more attention to detail to get his affections Sally, do that ***** at home and not in your *****ing car on your way to the malt shop. And Jimmy, I love the throaty sound of your Holly double pumper posi-track 454 engine, but if you weave in and out of traffic like this is the 24 hours of LeMans, I’m going to show you exactly what this Tercel can do. I get a little extra skip in my get-along when I trap you behind gramma’s car so knock it off. That kind of ***** gets you an extra finger.
If all this fails, refer to rule #1. Getting to your destination alive means you’ll yield when you see me coming up behind you.
Hey guys,
first time I am commenting. its about item no.4. there is a way to reduce the effect of blind spots, not eliminate them mind you, and it works like a charm. while sitting in your normal driving position adjust both your mirrors outwards. stop when you reach the point where your own vehicle is just out of the view. it takes some getting used to at first but is a life saver and also helps greatly while reversing. beware that this does not eliminate blind spots but greatly reduces them, that is if you don’t already use this method.
Great list as always.
Pretty Lame
This list put me in the mood for a nap
lol @ bucslim’s rant about the elderly. My thoughts exactly! Stay off the road grandma!
Great list – I will be sending this to my 16 year old son who has only has his permit for a couple months.
Two things I tell him, and remind him of often…
When on the road – everyone is an idiot, and everyone is trying to kill you.
Keeping those in mind can keep you out of trouble.
Good list but I don’t agree with potentially driving faster than the official speed limit. I don’t know about US, but if you did that in the UK you’d lost your licence after a week – there’s a ton of speed cameras over here. The limit is there and the goons behind you can just slow down and shut the hell up.
****NEWS FLASH*****
Dateline: Lincoln, Nebraska
bucslim was sideswiped on his way to work less than 5 minutes after posting his rant. Officials from Webster’s dictionary were at the scene to take new pictures to put up beside the word ‘irony.’ When asked for comment, bucslim chuckled, “I need to hit the pharmacy before I go to work. Gotta stock up on Depends.” The offending driver was found beaten, bloodied and duct taped in bucslim’s trunk. More details as this develops.
We now return you to your list already in progress.
Do not, I repeat, do not slow down when entering a tunnel. This is the biggest cause of phantom traffic jams here in Pittsburgh. We have a lot of tunnels and traffic always seems to be jammed right behind the entrance, and magically clears at the exit. If you feel the walls are closing around you, then you should have waited for the LSD to wear off before you started driving.
@bucslim (28): My thoughts exactly.
Note to drunk drivers: slapping yourself or sticking your head out the window like a salivating beagle WILL NOT sober you up! Save some money and get liquored up at home.
An ok list. I would put more stress on driving distracted or drunk than the others on this list. Just a thought.
@bucslim (28): Beat me to it!
I live in Arizona. We get the snowbirds about this time of year who fly in from the colder parts of the USA to f**k with the rest of us. They can’t drive and if they do, it’s 20 MPH…in reverse. They need to stay home and leave us alone!
My little girl thinks she is going to get her driver’s license when she turns 16. I got bad news for her, though. I have a test that she needs to pass first. If she can’t pass my test…no driving at all.
More parents should do the same. Test your kids driving skills. Put limits on them and remove the damn radio! Can’t get distracted changing the channel or searching for a song on the ipod if there’s nothing there to play it.
@oouchan (39): Best way for a parent to teach their prospective driver spawn is to put them smack dab in NYC, preferably 45th Street via the Midtown tunnel to Tenth Avenue. And make sure they’re driving a STICK!
#8 is just plain wrong. Merging early slows the through lane and accelerates the blocked lane resulting in people from the through lane merging to the blocked lane in order to gain a few car lengths and adding to driver frustration. The correct approach is to maintain your lane until the very end and then alternating cars from each lane, one at a time.
#4 should also suggest not to stay in another driver’s blind spot. This is one of the stupidest but frequent offenses on the road. Maintaning the same speed as the car ahead in another lane while “hiding” in his blind spot is expressing your desire to create an accident.
#3 could easily vie for the number one spot because it is such a large contributor to road rage.
And another thing,
I know all you ball cap wearin truck drivers are ‘salt of the earth’ kind of people. Thank you for the job you do delivering a bevy of sundry goods to my local retailers.
Now I want you to listen up Buddy McOwntheroad, just because you drive everyday to Salt Lake and back doesn’t give you the right to pull out in front of me the instant you see an opening. I’m pretty sure you’re load of ***** spraying pigs outweighs my ‘just over matchbox’ sized car. Don’t give me the finger if I happen to pass you going up a hill.
Just because you consider the grey line your ‘office’ doesn’t give you the right to drive like this is the mosh pit at a Hole concert. I got nothing but respect for a guy trying to earn an honest dollar, but you’ve got 5000 tons of rubber and steel bearing down on us. I don’t want to end up on the news as another statistic and be thrown from the vehicle as I swerved to miss your jack knifed tarkus. The last courteous truck driver I meet on the road will be the first one.
I used to commute 50 miles to work everyday and was driven off the road exactly three times – all by truck drivers who suddenly woke up from their nap behind the wheel. Mix in a little 5 Hour energy blast next time and possibly take a glance in the rearviews before you kill someone, thank you.
Addition: on ramps are designed to accelerate to match the flow of traffic on the highway before merging; off ramps are designed to descelerate down from highway speeds.
Assh*les who brake *before* taking the off ramp or merge onto the highway *before* accelerating are seriously *****ing me off.
@bucslim (43):
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker!
@bucslim (43): This was far more entertaining than this *****ty list.
@damien_karras (45): Direct quote from imdb:
Buford T. Justice: This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin’ around with those show folk fags.
@General Tits Von Chodehoffen (46):
Thank you General Tits.
I just love saying that, and I love tits in general.
I’m convinced that most city bus drivers are actually monkeys in people costumes. They no nothing of these rules of which you speak. Think about it.
..know nothing. Wow.
Alas, No.2 is a good theory, but will not avoid you getting a speeding find or loosing points.
Another thing people in my city don’t seem to understand is using the turn signal when merging or changing lanes on the interstate! How difficult is it to do that? I’ve also noticed that if the weather goes above 80 or below 60 that people automatically forget how to be good drivers.
@callie19 (48): Absa-*****ing-lootly!
Driving the bus is a hard job, I’m sure those guys see lots of crap that has got to make their blood boil. But I’ve seen more rude behavior from bus drivers than Andy Dick on meth.
Hey Ralph Cramden, sorry you couldn’t graduate from Jr. High. You don’t have to take that out on the rest of us.
Note to City Transit Authorities: Just because Ralph could fill out the application by completely covering the answer boxes with his 64 color crayons doesn’t mean he’ll be a good bus driver. Before you hand him/her/it the keys, you might want to see if he/she/it can actually look around before they pull out into traffic. You also might want to pay extra close attention to his/her/it’s answers on the ‘Are you currently taking schitzophrenia medication’ portion of the application.
@callie19 (48): Callie… completely agree with your assessment! Unfortunately, the bigger the vehicle the more the driver can mentally claim: “I WIN!”
Incidentally, ‘schitzophrenia’ sounds like a lower GI problem. A person inappropriately craps their pants while mumbling about how corn dogs are evil and wears a tea cozy.
@bucslim (28): Always a pleasure to read your posts! Now I can begin to work with a smile on my face.
That said, if anyone ever comes down to Peru, they should basically take everything they´ve ever read about driver safety and flush it down the crapper. We have our own set of road rules:
- Driving defensively works, driving offensively is better.
- What is cruise control? What are speed limits??
- Changing lanes involves strategic timing and sudden movements. Using your directional lights (is that what they´re called?) only means you´ll never actually be able to change lanes because no one will let you in.
- A two second rule might work in open, light traffic highways… In city traffic you should remember a half second rule (where you leave no room for other cars to switch into your lane… otherwise you´ll be stuck behing a constant stream of lane-changing cars).
- Traffic lights: green means go, yellow means speed up, you just might make it and red means stop (unless you can cross before the cars in the other street have a chance to accelerate).
Happy driving!
@callie19 (48):
@bucslim (52):
The great thing about buses here in Peru is that they do not belong to some “City Transit Authority”, they are privately owned. I kid you not. So basically, any jackass who can get his hands on an OLD bus (picture school buses from the 50´s) can drive it around and collect a fare.
Oh, and a note to our version of a DMV: I have a theory that you are giving out licenses in cereal boxes… Am I right??
Methinks the poster of this list has a University degree in Stating the Bleeding Obvious!
How to dramatically reduce traffic accidents? Restrict driving licenses to people with IQ’s of 120 or over (that will keep some of the previous posters off the road – you know who you are!)
Here in philippines. they don’t follow rule. hahaha. it’s every man for itself. Roads here are like battle fields.
)
your you’re your you’re your you’re your you’re
Get it straight dumbass! Screw you’re degree in journalism. What, were you asleep the day they taught contractions and possessives?
Why yes, I am talking to myself.
i love hong kong… the train does everything