Top 10 Common Errors Made In Cooking
Published on June 25, 2008 - 255 Comments
As most readers will know, I love cooking. I am a fanatic when it comes to doing things “perfectly” in the kitchen and have, consequently, read everything I can get my hands on about cooking. I am an amateur, but at least I am a reasonably well informed amateur! This list is a guide to help save you from some of the most common cooking errors we all make.
When you cook in a pan which is not hot enough, things stick and they don’t color. This is a very common mistake made when cooking steak or other meat dishes in a frying pan. Don’t be afraid to turn the heat right up - you can always remove the pan from the heat if it looks to be too hot. Make sure you use a little oil to the pan before you begin to heat it (don’t use a non-stick pan - throw all the non-stick cookware in to the bin).
Overcooked fish is one of the most revolting things you can eat. It lacks flavor, and it lacks moisture. When you cook fish properly, it should retain some of the transparency that you get with raw fish. Don’t fear that it will be raw - the heat can still penetrate to the core without overcooking it. As a side note, when buying fresh fish, make sure the fish eyes are shiny and clear and that the gills are still red. Fresh fish should also have no odor (apart from the smell of the sea) - if it smells fishy, don’t buy it.
When you cook a steak, you must put it in the pan and not touch it again until it is time to turn it over. Moving meat around a pan stops it from browning. Coupled with a cold pan (item 10) you will end up with limp, soggy, and uncolored meat. You should not fall to the temptation to give things a shove or to check for the level of cooking. Cook based on time (for example one minute either side for steak) and leave it alone!

When frying on top of the stove, people tend to try to do everything at once - putting half a dozen sausages in the pan, or 2 or 3 steaks. This only ruins the food - overcrowding the pan causes food to boil (as there is not enough room for the steam to leave the pan) instead of browning. Cook in batches and, if you need to, keep meat in a warmed oven while you continue through the batches.
Most people who have little cooking experience will be familiar with the large cut of meat that has shrivelled up like a prune during cooking. The reason for this is that when you heat meat beyond a certain temperature, the meat proteins begin to contract - forcing the juices (and flavor!) out of the meat. The solution to this is to make sure that when you roast meat, you do it on a low heat for a long time. The great chef Heston Blumenthal (owner of The Fat Duck) cooks his meat at a maximum of 75C (~170F) for many hours - resulting in succulent and flavorful cuts. I strongly recommend you check out his cook books - “Family Food” is a particularly good one and it includes a section on meat cooking in this manner. I am fortunate enough to own a signed copy! You can get it here at Amazon
All too frequently people use too little salt in their cooking (or worse still: no salt at all!) Salt is essential in cooking as it provides flavor and in some cases texture. You should salt all meat before you cook it, and most of the time you should salt water before cooking vegetables in it. It is not enough to add salt at the last minute as some foods cook better with salt adding during the cooking process. I should also mention here than you should immediately throw away any table salt you own and buy proper sea salt (or kosher salt). Table salt contains flowing agents and anti-caking agents. It contains so much of this stuff that if you sniff a container of table salt - it smells like metal. Good quality salt should have no smell or a very slight perfume (from the sea).
Blunt knives are not only bad in the kitchen because they tear at what you are cutting, but they are extremely dangerous. Most accidents involving knives in the kitchen are caused by blunt knives. The reason for this is that the knife is more prone to slipping. I personally prefer Japanese steel in my knives but there are also some excellent quality European knives as well. For those with the big budget I strongly recommend Hattori knives (go for the HD or KD series - they will cost upwards of $300 a knife). The knife pictured above is a 27cm Hattori KD Chef’s Knife ($1,175).
Dried herbs have no place in the kitchen. They have little (if any) of the flavor of the herb they are meant to represent. If you cook with dried herbs, you cook with no flavor. The first time you use fresh herbs in your cooking, you will immediately understand the importance of them. This also goes for vegetables - always buy the freshest vegetables you can (preferably locally grown - buying locally grown means you only get what is in season, and therefore you get the best tasting veges).
I am sure we are all well acquainted with pots and pans that are as light as a feather and coated with a non-stick coating. Throw. These. Out. Now. You simply can not get the right feel for heat with these abominable tin pots. A proper cooking pot should have a very heavy base. They need not be cast iron, but they should certainly require a little elbow grease to lift. If you have the wallet large enough - you should aim for copper pots as they provide the best conductivity of heat.
Wine is undoubtedly my favorite thing in the world - I quaff copious amounts of the stuff (in order to improve my palate of course). One of the big “sins” in the kitchen is using “cooking” wine. There is no such thing as special wine for cooking - it is cheap and nasty wine with a dishonest label on it! The golden rule with wine in the kitchen is that you must only use wine you would happily drink. The upside to this golden rule is that you invariably end up with a lot of spare wine for drinking. Be sure not to keep your “good” wine in the pantry when you are done - drink it and buy a fresh bottle next time you need it.
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1. DerShmoo - June 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am
Very nice List, informative and well written!
2. MojoRisin - June 25th, 2008 at 3:23 am
awesome! some good tips. and does that wine brand actually exist?
3. Catia - June 25th, 2008 at 3:38 am
My mom will love this list!
Thanks for the tips
4. Tempyra - June 25th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Awesome list! I wish I had a set of decent knives; mine are crap and I hate sharpening them so they just get worse and worses
About #6, does anyone know whether burnt meat (like charcoal burnt) is carcinogenic? I read somewhere that it was, red meat and salmon were supposed to be the worst?
Out of the ‘foodies’ on the site, who else is mad about breadmaking? I can’t wait til I get my copy of The Bread Baker’s Apprentice
5. jhoyce07 - June 25th, 2008 at 3:51 am
i love this site..i always read the “list of the day” (or the latest list made, while im at work) hehe..this site is so informative..i’ve been attached to this site for a couple of months now..thanks jfrater ü
more power..
P.S.
i love..not cooking.. EATING! hehe!
6. jake ryder - June 25th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Re item #8. when you cook a steak it should go nowhere near a pan.
7. rushfan - June 25th, 2008 at 4:13 am
Very cool list. I did not know “cooking wine” was a scam. That’s too funny. I don’t cook, at all, but some day when I learn, I’ll be sure to remember your great tips!
8. Robeywan - June 25th, 2008 at 4:30 am
fun list and it has made me hungry. well I’m always hungry but it is fun to get advice on a great hobby. A little repetitive from previous cooking lists but never the less required reading for anyone who wants to cook. I made fresh salsa last night and over did it on the garlic, must remember to keep my distance today but sooooo worth it.
9. yoko - June 25th, 2008 at 4:33 am
Hi, good list, one point though, #1 I would add oil to a hot pan not a cold pan as the oil could burn before the pan is hot enough.
10. 63jax - June 25th, 2008 at 4:37 am
As a gourmand that I am I find those very helpful. I like very much stakes made outside on grill with fire from wood or coal not with gas. Nice list.
11. fabrulana - June 25th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Nice list thanks. We just use Himalayan Pink Salt rather than Sea Salt due to all the minerals it contains and the improved taste.
12. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 5:02 am
You also forgot: don’t drunkenly cook sausages at 2 in the morning and leave the grill on all night in your Uni halls kitchen, oops
Jamie, this is not my opinion but I reckon some people are going to think you come across as a bit of a snob…
13. warrrreagl - June 25th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Bless me Jamie, for I have sinned. I am guilty of almost all of these errors.
14. stevenh - June 25th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Thank you Jamie…
Read about non-stick pans: http://www.checnet.org/HEALTHE.....ain_ID=600
A scary quote: “PFOA (the stuff of teflon) was present in the blood of 96 percent of 598 children tested in 23 states and the District of Columbia.”
and “PFOA causes developmental toxicity and other effects”
15. rushfan - June 25th, 2008 at 5:18 am
he’s not snobby, he’s cultured
16. Mom424 - June 25th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Great List Jamie!
You know I agree with this list for the most part. The only point I would modify is the one about the salt. Even then I agree with you when folks are cooking real food and making real sauces. Not when using prepared or instant anything. Bouillon cubes, instant cheese sauce, most soup bases are very salty. Be careful.
Oh and for those of you who think kosher or sea salt is just pretentious foolishness - you’re wrong. I thought it to be bs too, I was mistaken, even the kids notice the difference. You can taste it. Sea salt tastes more like salt.
Cooking wine is not wine, it is vinegar with red color and salt. You would die if you drank it.
Tempyra: I read about that ages ago. There are in fact cancer causing agents in charcoal. I wouldn’t worry about it; same as the saccharin scare of 20 years ago. You’d have to eat a truckload of burnt to a crisp steak every day for there to be any worry. Relax, the odd order of blackened steak or fish isn’t going to kill you.
17. Mom424 - June 25th, 2008 at 5:26 am
stevenh; If you read carefully it appears it is not the use of the pan or ingestion of the material that causes the problem. It is the manufacture of it, or the fumes when you burn the pan. Ingestion does nothing, once manufactured it becomes inert. Comes out the same way it goes in.
Mind you I probably killed us all; the time I boiled the pot dry with the nylon ladle in it. Fumes damn near killed me, I had to make like a fireman with the wet rag to get near enough to take it off the stove. The house reeked for days.
18. stevenh - June 25th, 2008 at 5:31 am
Re item #2
Using cast iron cookware can add needed iron to your diet.
This is a good thing.
Common Error: Not reading the label!
Mom424: Excellent point about the salt content in prepared foods. Always check the label. For example on Japanese Soba noodles, I’ve seen from 70mg to over 700mg sodium per serving.
19. Kreachure - June 25th, 2008 at 5:33 am
I think Jamie’s ready for his very own version of the “Hell’s Kitchen” show!
Just kidding, great cooking tips. As for the salt tip, I think “too much salt” is a common error as well…
20. stevenh - June 25th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Mom424:
True about the manufacturing process. But if something persists in the environment it often ends up in the food chain. And in this case, that is not a godd thing.
21. Tempyra - June 25th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Mom424, don’t worry about me :-). I’m vegetarian. Carcinogenic meat is just something I like to tease BBQers about, but I don’t actually know much about it.
Speaking of burning plastic - I once left a plastic wrapper by the gas top stove when I was cook something. It was fine while I was there but caught fire after I turned the flame off and left the kitchen. Luckily I had siblings who liked to keep an eye on what was going on in the kitchen! But yeah, burnt plastic reeks. Yuk.
22. stevenh - June 25th, 2008 at 5:36 am
oops. I mis-typed…
‘a good thing’… I do not want this thread to turn religious
23. huxley75 - June 25th, 2008 at 5:37 am
to #8: I used to avoid touching my steak as much as possible but, now, have found that searing it at HIGH heat on both sides (on a grill or in a pan) and then turning the heat down to LOW/MEDIUM-LOW to cook (on both sides again) for a few minutes turns out a perfect steak every time.
I still try to avoid pushing the steak around or toying with it but flip it a few times to get either side nice and brown before letting the lower heat do the final cooking. The outside gets perfectly done while the inside stays tender and pink. (I prefer my steaks medium-rare).
24. mregan - June 25th, 2008 at 5:41 am
7-8-10. So that’s what’s wrong w/my pan fried pork chops.
We’ll test the proposition for dinner tonight.
25. the dread pirate bob - June 25th, 2008 at 5:47 am
Nice list, I’ve worked in restaurants my whole life and have been cooking at home since I 9 or 10 years old (mom worked nights and dad only cooked on a barbq grill) and have made every mistake on here at some point.
An addendum to number 6, something my dad forgetsoften when he grills steaks, is that steak (actually all food) doesn’t stop cooking simply because you pull it off the cooking surface. If you’re not going to eat the food as soon as its on the plate you should cook it a little less than the desired doneness.
Also as far as cooking wine while it is a vinegar it does have alcohol and it is disgusting, it will not kill you though unless you drink a lot of it, it may make you wish you were dead. I worked with a guy who had a severe drinking problem, something common in restaurants, and he would drink half of a gallon bottle every night and leave for home every night not drunk but sick to his stomach, never killed him though.
26. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Treading a fine line, $300 knives, chuck all your pots and pans out and heaven forfend you should use cheap wine.
Are mircowaves only used by the great unwashed, too? Hee hee
27. pankhudi - June 25th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Great List, Jamie. You could have keep some competition here too - like the 100th comment-poster will win a dinner made by you. What do you say?
28. jayhawk - June 25th, 2008 at 6:23 am
I come from Kansas City where grilling or smoking pork, beef, and having BBQ is a tradition. It is untrue that a steak is generally better on the grill. I find that a nice pan seared steak basted in butter is better than a grill. I also think that when people season a nice cut of steak can ruin it. Salt, pepper that is all it needs, a little butter and you are ready to go.
29. Levi - June 25th, 2008 at 6:26 am
I’ve never cooked a rabbit (Or any other fuzzy animal for that matter) before. I see from your forum on Listverse.com that you have, and from what I read, quite successfully too.
I was curious if you could give me the cooking directions for the rabbit and side dishes from that meal, as well as any tips that may be helpful.
I have read all the tips that you (and others) have posted on listverse, and I’m happy to say that I already knew most of that from growing up. I love to cook, but most of my cooking is done for one. I hate eating alone, so I don’t get the luxury of cooking for groups of people often. I will be entertaining a few friends soon, and would love to serve this.
30. green - June 25th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Good list!
I can safely say I have commited every sin on the list at least once!
I currently live without a stove/oven- what I need is a list of delicious meals I can make in the microwave or on the foreman!
31. robneiderman - June 25th, 2008 at 6:44 am
OOH, OOH! I have a stinky burning story! One time, I was microwaving some chicken tenders (not really cooking, I know, but I was hungry). They were on a yellow styrofoam tray. Well, the directions said to heat them on high for, let’s say one minute per three tenders. Let’s just say I did the math wrong. (I was young and stupid…well, not THAT young…) 12 minutes later, I open the microwave and yellow smoke billows out! It looked like the mailbox at the end of Time Bandits!
32. Bob - June 25th, 2008 at 7:03 am
I’m glad you have so much money.
33. thethema - June 25th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Interesting list, regarding comment #11, himalayan rock salt is fantastic, I could not go back to any other salt after tasting that stuff.
Henkel knives are quite good too, I bought the wife a set for christmas and she has not stopped stabbing me since, nice clean cut too lol.
34. xtopherp - June 25th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Fun list! My input to #6 (overcooking meat) is to remember that just because you take it off the heat source, doesn’t mean that your steak/chop/etc will stop cooking. The internal heat of the cut will continue the process for a few more minutes. So..for instance, if you like your steak medium, take it off the heat while it’s still medium-rare.
35. Wally - June 25th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Great list. You sure do have an eye for a readable list.
Now for my input.
To improve the steak (even a cheap cut) give it a heavy, heavy salting an hour before and then rinse well before cooking. The salt draws the moisture away from the core and prevents stewing in the pan. Avoid iodine salt. Even though I am an Australian, I do have a palate and can taste the chemicals. For those who dont know - Australians are possibly the poorest dressers and poorest gourmands on the earth. We dont care though.
As for knives, Global make a fantastic knife that wont shatter your bank account. It will however leave a deep wound on your thumb. Dont ask.
I disagree with a couple of things, such as the non-stick pans (nobody will ever complain, and you wont either) and if time is of the essence, a non-sticker is a life saver. A good cook (no I didnt say chef, because I am not one) can do wonders with cheap equipment.
When it comes to the the wine, you say dont use cheap wine, however some Chilean, New Zealand and South Australian wines are not only cheap but very, very drinkable I tell you. Lay off stuff that that is 3 dollars a bottle, but if you consider 10 bucks a cheap bottle - then you are missing out.
As for the herbs, that is difficult as we all know. Having a garden full of fresh, delicous herbs is great, however in the real world, pricier dried herbs can impart a nice flavour. The problem is, most people buy the cheapest dried herbs. Spend a little more if you dont have access to the fresh kind. Oh, how the poor must live.
As for tips number 11 to 14
Always steam vegetables rather than boil. I like to crunch on vegetables which give texture to meats and pastas. The boiling takes away flavour too. Sesame seeds are the magic ingredient, almond slivers will get the table talking also.
Consider marinating fish before cooking. A good measure of soy sauce, mirin and sesame oil will have people talking about your cooking the next day over the water cooler. The poor office working fools!
Be creative! Add blended capsicum to the soup. Yum! Use honey or golden syrup when baking bread. Oh my goodness! Throw chillies into that chicken casserole with the mushrooms!
36. sikamikanica - June 25th, 2008 at 8:06 am
I live by rule number 3. Thanks for some great tips, must get some wine now…
btw, I saw an episode of Good Eats were Alton Brown placed the steak directly in the charcoal. I would like to try that once.
37. dangorironhide - June 25th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Nice list. My mother is making me cook more to prepare me for uni, so it’s nice to know some of these things so I can make better food there.
I must also thank you for giving me my first decent laugh of the day (though I’ve only been up an hour) with:
“Wine is undoubtedly my favorite thing in the world - I quaff copious amounts of the stuff (in order to improve my palate of course).”
Did someone say alcoholic?
38. Joss - June 25th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Fantastic list. I now feel guilty for ordering my steak well done…
39. Robeywan - June 25th, 2008 at 8:38 am
(34) Wally, thanks for more good suggestions. As long as we’re giving away closely guarded secrets…as a lactose intolerant (and recovering universal intolerant) of 30+ years I have learned that orange juice, potato water (from boiling potatoes) and beer make excellent substitutes for milk in cooking/baking. Beer will make the fluffiest pancakes and lightest breads, orange juice gives a great subtile flavor and potato water is shameful to waste. At the very least soak your dried beans in it before boiling.
40. Becca - June 25th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Ouu, awesome list. I always hated using non-stick pans but my mother keeps making me use them insisting that they’re easier to wash, but now I have a REASON NOT TO. =D
41. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Really good list. Anything but snobbish. We spend a lot of time cooking and eating. Why not be adept at it? Some things I would add and omit though. 6 and 9 are the same. Fish, meat, vegetables–it doesn’t matter. Biggest bush league mistake. Newbies overcooking everything. I’ve banished probies to the tank for roaching expensive mains. One pup put me deep in the weeds by leaving a tray of preseared racks in the vector too long. 18 racks of lamb turned to stew meat. He washed dishes for three weeks. I’ll tell ya; his food is au point now.
Come on. Dried herbs? How many of you have a Bay tree in the yard? Dried herbs are a necessity in much of the world. That’s a bit like saying NO Gravlax! Only fresh! No salted Cod! Bunko.
Teflon is out. Like drinking motor oil. It sheds molecules at low heat. Why take the chance of ingesting it? Refer to number ten. Americans are addicted to convenience. Addicts don’t live very long, do they?
For the love of God, if you have an electric stove, do what you have to, to switch to gas. Move across town if necessary.
Just because wine is cheap doesn’t mean it is bad. The premise is correct though. This is the golden age of vino. Two Buck Chuck’s white is perfectly serviceable for coq au vin. I wouldn’t use his red for a cabernet reduction, but most wine is just fine.
Now You Bastards Better Have Your Mis En Place When That Fucking Bell Goes Off, Or I Am Going To Shitcan The Lot Of You! And If You Touch My Tongs–Even Look At Them–I Will Fucking Relegate Your Ass To Fucking Pots For Fucking Ever Fucking More! Howz the rezzitch? Hand me That Chinois. Move Your Ass!
42. glaukopis - June 25th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Wally: If you own a well cared for cast iron skillet there is no need for a non-stick pan. Love your cast iron. LOVE IT.
43. DK - June 25th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Re: the sharp knives: I have a set of Henkels knives my dad bought me, My room-mate has a set of flimsy plastic-handled crappy knives. When I got my good knives I made a rule that nobody touched them but me. My knives are the one thing that I clean myself when I cook for the house (I have a “I cooked you clean” rule). When I discovered that my “No touch” rule had been broken (I found one of my good knives in…the dishwasher! *gasp*), I hid the knives at the back of a cabinet.
44. CJ - June 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Jamie, I love your site and I think you’re adorable but some of this is a bit pretentious.
While everything you write here is true, it isn’t all practical for everyone and you have come across as a bit Gordon Ramsey.
45. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Ray Bees: (#26): on one of my other cooking lists you will see an emphatic direction to throw away your microwave
I hate them and do not use them ever. I can still cook a meal from scratch (real scratch - no packets of anything) without one very quickly. You seem opposed to my suggestions that you buy good knives, pots, and wine - these things may be expensive but that is for a reason - they are high quality! Also - you will only ever need to buy one set of pots and knives your entire life if you follow these instructions 
46. Cheeshygirl - June 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Ahhh, Jamie. Yet another reason why I love you so.
I throw up a little in my mouth when I hear people order their steaks well-done. I am also a firm believer in kosher salt. My mom thinks it’s so special, she will hardly use it. I’ve had to get on to her time and again to use it like table salt and get rid of the nasty stuff. Re #10: I remember The Frugal Gourmet, Jeff Smith, had a saying, “Hot pan, cold oil, foods don’t stick.” Man, I miss his shows. As far as the knives and cookware are concerned, some day, some day. *sighs wistfully
47. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
pankhudi (#27): tempting - but pricey - if the winner doesn’t live in NZ who pays my airfare?
48. Mathilda - June 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
This is a great list, although it made me hungry. I love my cast iron skillets; I have found that flea markets or garage sales are a great place to buy them. They can be a bit pricey in a cooking store, whereas people will sell some old rusty one for a few dollars which, with a little care, becomes as good as …. not new, because who wants a new cast iron skillet? How about as good as that one that you have been using for the past twenty years?
Where I live it is almost impossible to grow herbs in the autumn, winter or spring, and it is pricey to keep having to buy them if you use a lot of them. Fortunately for me, one of my friends got me an Aerogarden for a Christmas present. It is like a little hydroponic garden; it’s got grow lights on an automatic timer and i just have to add water and nutrient tablets and can have fresh herbs for weeks in the winter. (Right now I’m growing leaf lettuce because I can grow my herbs outside now - I can also grow leaf lettuce but what I can NOT do is keep the bunnies from eating it all if it’s outside!)
As for the wine, at least where I live, the liquor stores will discount wine when they start running out of that particular batch or whatever it is and they only have one or two bottles left. I can pick up good wine for cooking for no more than they cost of the horrendous “cooking” wine.
49. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:12 am
jake ryder (#8): I beg to differ - while grilled steak is nice, the French method of frying it in butter and oil is the best in my opinion - that is why the French are considered the masters of modern cuisine - they invented and perfected it!
50. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Levi: the recipe I used for the Rabbit is a Larouse recipe - it is currently on a ship in the middle of the ocean somewhere. If you send me an email (jamie at frater.com) I will send you the recipe next month when it arrives
51. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Bob: You will have lots of money too - when you never need to buy another pan or knife (after buying the excellent quality ones I mention here). If it takes a year to save the price of one knife - do it - it really is worth it.
52. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
ATTENTION: For those of you who use facebook, some of the readers here have very kindly started a listverse appreciation group there - you can get to it here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=21248891555
53. SlickWilly - June 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
CJ: Jamie *is* a lot like Gordon Ramsey. Always losing his cool, shouting obscenities at inappropriate times, mercilessly berating those he feels are beneath him, calling people names, inciting hatred and maliginance wherever he goes, and generally being a prick. Yep, that sounds just like Jfrater to me.
54. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:17 am
thethema (#33): I agree about Henkel knives - they are very top quality - I prefer Japanese, but if you are buying European steel you would definitely be okay with henkel.
55. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Wally (#35): I like your points but don’t agree with the steaming issue - I very rarely steam vegetables - boiling does not remove flavor necessarily and it allows you to add a little salt to the vege. My vegetables are always crunchy (if they are meant to be). Additionally - some vegetables suit boiling and others don’t - for example, you should really cook asparagus in pan of butter or oil - as it has water soluble flavor components - never cook asparagus in water. The same goes in reverse for broccoli - never cook it in oil or butter unless you are going to serve the whole pot - broccoli has oil soluble flavor components.
56. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:23 am
dangorironhide (#37): shhh!! It is meant to be a secret!
57. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Robeywan (#39): Beer is also excellent in batter for deep frying fish etc. Heston Blumenthal also recommends using a large amount of vodka in the batter as it fries off faster - this reduces the cooking time so the fish is not overcooked by the the time the batter is crispy. I tried the recipe and it was very successful. His EXCELLENT recipe is at the bottom of this article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/t.....631377.ece
58. themick - June 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
How about a list for people low on time and money? I mean this is all good advice if you have the time and money to invest in expensive cookware and finding fresh herbs.
59. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:28 am
goatmissile: excellent (and amusing) comment - thanks
I do stand by my initial statement on dried herbs though - most good supermarkets now sell fresh herbs in packets and as for the bay tree - there are three outside the house I am living in at present! You can grow them in a pot very easily - even in colder climates.
60. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:30 am
DK: argh! Not the dishwasher! That is terrible news! Keep them well hidden.
CJ: I don’t mind if you think it pretentious - the fact is, if you follow these rules your food will be better. The choice is yours
61. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Cheeshygirl: I just bought some good sea salt and now my mother is using it in her cooking too - it is an easy way to make a big difference - just use plenty!
62. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Mathilda: great idea about the flea market - for a few bucks you can get a cast iron pan that will last forever! Does the Aerogarden provide you with enough herbs for all meals?
63. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 9:33 am
JFrater: That’s true, nowadays way easier to lay hands on fresh herbs, but I think in some instances, it isn’t necessary. Dried thyme is just fine, often enough. Sure, fresh anyday–if possible. You can still make fine food with some dried herbs though.
64. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:35 am
SlickWilly (#53): heh maybe I should try it - I might MAKE people respect me!
themick (#58): that is an excellent idea for a list - I will make a note of it for the future - thanks
65. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 9:35 am
I like the comments about the cast iron. How True! Flea markets, yard sales are great places to get a cast iron skillet, and once properly seasoned are much better than nonstick.
66. justme - June 25th, 2008 at 9:35 am
the most usefull list i ever read
COOKING RULES =)
67. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:37 am
goatmissile: okay - sure - you could use dried thyme in stuffing etc., but I would not want to use it on a roast vege salad or something where the eater will see the herbs
68. JayArr - June 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Terrible bias on #10 “don’t use a non-stick pan - throw all the non-stick cookware in to the bin”… Even Alton Brown users non-stick cookware. The key is to know WHEN to use it, and for WHAT. Never use non-stick on med-high or high heat - it’s great for sauces, omelettes, simmering, pancakes, french toast, light-sautes, fudge, etc.
On #5, iodized salt has its value too. Sure, sea salt is great for cooking those foods which rely on salty taste, but I use iodized salt in most of my baking and in sauces which only need the salt for its acidic value. Remember folks, if you don’t eat ANY iodized salt, you better have a good source of iodine (critical to us humans too, ya’know) in your diet - especially if you don’t eat a lot of varied sea foods.
On #3 - gosh, if only I could afford to buy all the fresh herbs that I need all year round anywhere I need to and never have to worry about spoilage. Must say, I use about 15 different herbs in my cooking, and only rarely do I buy fresh. I much prefer having them dried and readily available when I need them, in the quantities I need. Granted, I tend to have to use more of the dried herbs to get better flavor from them, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for savings of money, effort and time.
Yoko (9) - adding oil to the cold pan is better, as you know when it’s ready (just as it begins to vaporize) to add the meat, etc. If you add it to a pan that’s already hot, it can be TOO hot, and the oil can flash/burn/smoke immediately.
69. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am
G. Ramsey is a mincin’ poncer who wouldn’t last on my line. My salad boy could cook circles around that wankjob.
70. CK2005 - June 25th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I didn’t know table salt was bad! Thanks for the info
71. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 9:43 am
JFrater: Bottom line has to be observed. Time is money. You’re right. Fresh thyme when appropriate. If I’m whippin’ up cassoulet for the staff, the rotters ain’t gettin’ fresh thyme in it.
72. alexlwe - June 25th, 2008 at 9:45 am
i disagree with your statements about non-stick cookware. I think it’s good for some cooking, but definitely not for all.
73. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Salt is CRUCIAL. Thomas Keller uses different salts for different dishes. A three pound box of Kosher salt will change your cooking forever, if you have been using plain ‘ol iodized salt. People’s diets have enough iodine. The only thing that Mortons is good for is cleaning your cast iron skillet. Which by the way, is the only thing used to clean that skillet. Never use soap in it. Just salt and a paper towel. Little oil at the end to keep it from rusting.
74. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:51 am
JayArr (#68): acid is provided by acids in cooking - not salt
In most Western countries, there should be sufficient iodine in the soil so that if we eat fresh vegetables we get enough. When was the last time you saw a person with goiter?
And I disagree about non-stick cookware - you will never find it in a good restaurant - put it with your microwave - in the trash!
goatmissile: haha - maybe you should offer to do a cookoff with him on TV - it would certainly make for great entertainment
75. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
goatmissile: I love Keller’s methods - I have the French Laundry cookbook and it is prized possession. Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to go there last time I was in San Francisco. I will definitely do so next time I go.
76. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 9:59 am
This is a fantastic list and I agree with all of it 100%. The only item I consistently fail on is number 8… I’m nervous when i cook and always feel I have to peek at things as they’re grilling or frying or baking/broiling… it’s a very bad habit that I’ve fought to control.
Jamie: one thing not mentioned about the knives is, one should purchase *carbon* steel knives instead of stainless steel ones. Carbon steel requires sharpening, but that just means your knives WILL be sharp, once you’ve done so. Stainless steel knives lose their edge over time but there is no way to sharpen them, at least not in the home, without some kind of industrial tool.
And a word of support about Jamie’s contention regarding the proper cookware. Yes, really good cookware IS damn expensive. So much more tempting to buy the cheap stuff and live with it. BUT good cookware is a one-time purchase. It’ll last a life time. The cheap items don’t, and you end up spending more and more to replace them. Sadly, for me, the ex-wife got all our great, expensive cookware, and so I’ve had to slowly build mine up piecemeal (she was the better cook between the two of us anyway, but still…) over time. But it’s worth it.
77. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Yes. Keller is amazing. I was the Chef at Gordnons Wine Bar and Cafe, three doors down from there. He used to come in for a Croque Monsieur all the time. I’ve eaten there twice. Out of this world. He sent out like eighteen courses for us, with the accompanying wine. BLOWN AWAY. I could never afford that meal. I’ll never forget it.
I’d love to get my mitts on Ramsey. Sure you get testy, but abusing the staff is not allowed. Those fucker’s dish it right back to me. That’s their right. It is a super high pressure environment. Everybody loses it, now and then. Group Hug!–ya Sons o’ Bitches.
78. stevenh - June 25th, 2008 at 10:04 am
re #59. Fresh Bay leaf
I live in New York (not city) and yes, I have a window sill for herbs and a Laurel tree (bay leaf) growing in a pot.
California Laurel is best for fresh leaf. My ‘tree’ is about 4-5 feet tall.
79. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Bull Yoghurt! The microwave is good for reheating coffee! Also, good for cooking some veggies. Like Broccoli. Put a damp paper towel over it. It is a fallacy that it kills all the nutrients.
80. chershey - June 25th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I always use some of the wine I’m drinking with the meal when I cook. I know it will go well with the food and I know my SO and I will be able to finish off the entire bottle that night without waking up the next day with a wine headache.
81. chershey - June 25th, 2008 at 10:20 am
And microwaves are good for defrosting bread for toast!
82. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Randall: indeed - carbon steel is definitely the best - the knives I recommended are carbon steel core with layered stainless over the top (but not on the edge of the blade)! And you make an excellent point about the cookware - buy it over time. One pot every 3 months or so - you can build up a high quality collection of stuff without feeling the pinch.
83. Phender_Bender - June 25th, 2008 at 10:22 am
goatmissile- Yeah, all I need to live is a George Foreman and a microwave. Maybe frequent visits to my parents’ house for a good meal though.
Great list btw, its inspired me to start cooking again.
84. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am
goatmissile: wow - lucky you for having had FL twice! I went to the Fat Duck in England just before returning to NZ - talk about an experience I will NEVER forget. It was simply astounding. As for the microwave comment - I didn’t say it kills nutrients
My objection to it is that it makes things too easy and fast - I am a hobby cook - I want to spend hours cooking - I don’t want to rush it
stevenh: excellent! You prove the point - there is really no reason not to have a bay tree! And they look nice too.
chershey; Aside from the number of bottles, I do the same
85. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Hmm - I seem to use smileys a lot.
86. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Yeah. The Fat Duck. Oooh. Yowsers. It is a good thing I am not rich. I’d be a bloated plutocrat. Don’t skimp on the quail eggs jus’ ’cause I can’t see ‘em!
Bread is so not for the wave. Pain Pnuematique.
I love gadgets. The buerre mixer ROCKS! I should get me one them George Forman #s.
Bay Trees are pretty.
The Japanese have great High Carbon Steel at a decent price. Henkel’s gotten too big for their liederhosen.
87. Wally - June 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Goatmissile 69: Surely you jest - Gordon Ramsey is a machine and would turn your kitchen around without you knowing it. If not, sorry my sarcasm detectors weren’t on!
88. JayArr - June 25th, 2008 at 10:39 am
JFrater (74) - The last time I saw a person with goiter was about 6 months ago. My father-in-law in fact. As for the numbers over the years, I’ve seen several dozen cases. My time in the military showed me most of those instances (our own troops), and some with my wild-land fire crews.
By the way, my mom and step cousin both had hypothyroidism due to lack of iodine in their diets - since remedied with supplements, fortunately.
89. Crimanon - June 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
You can have my Non-stick pan when your pry them from my burnt and blistered hands! You can keep the salt too, My BP spikes enough, I don’t need it’s help.
“Cook Free Or Die!” - Anthony Bourdain
90. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
goatmissile: I love gadgets too - but I tend to go for the big ones and not so much for smaller time-saving devices. My favorite is a kenwood Major: http://www.kenwoodworld.com/pr.....038;id=313
91. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am
JayArr: I would expect a higher incidence of goiter in the military as their food is not likely to be of the same standard when they are on the move - but as I said - most people should get sufficient iodine in their daily diet without it being added to their cooking
92. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Crimanon: bah! Eat flavorless food if you must!
93. BrotherMan - June 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
jfrater: I want to apologize to you personally for the comments that I have been posting lately on the lists. I don’t want to be known as an asshole around here. I have just been dealing with a lot of personal stuff lately. Check out the forums for more info.
and thanks for the list. These are great tips which I will definately use. I have been wanting to grill some fish on a propane grill lately. Do you have any basic suggestions on how to do that?
94. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am
BrotherMan: no probs
For grilling fish I would say the most important tip is to oil (and season) the fish before you put it on the grill - don’t oil the grill! If you wanted recipe ideas, you could stuff the fish (I presume you are cooking whole fish) with chopped up fennel bulb and other herbs to your liking. Yum yum.
95. S_R - June 25th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I don’t cook and I live alone. I’ve used some of the lists here just recently to try to learn to cook a few things (steak). But I don’t have to bother anymore! My friend from out of state is moving here and he’s a CHEF!! We’re going to be roommates.
96. Wally - June 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Yeah Brotherman, collect all your tears and use them as a marinade for the fish.
No, I wont “check out the forums for more more info”. Thanks for the warning.
BTW invest in some baking paper if you like cakes, tortes etc. For a few cents extra, your cake edges will be absolutely perfect! Ciao!
97. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 11:07 am
BrotherMan:
Jamie may have better suggestions… but I would suggest A) purchasing a fish basket for grilling. There’s numerous types of these, some made specifically for grilling fish. These can be found in many different stores–it’s a hinged device which can be shut tight with a collar, holding the fish or meats together (I use it for chicken breasts too, it’s great for that) preventing the fish from sticking to the grill and falling apart. Treat the basket with a spray coating before grilling, or rub it with oil or a little butter.
B) Buy a fish meant for grilling–whole fish (such as snapper) or steaks–tuna is fantastic on the grill, as is marlin, swordfish, halibut, and some shark steaks.
C) never overcook fish, and keep the flame low.
98. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:08 am
S_R: that is no excuse at all! You should take advantage of living with a chef to get him to teach you some tricks and tips
99. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I second Randall’s suggestion about a fish basket too - they are very handy.
100. Christine - June 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
My father-in-law is a great cook and he came over to our house the other weekend to make and eat a meal with us (he probably cooked because our cooking sucks). Anyway, he said for the meal he was planning, he needed some ingredients that we could take from his house, including (I think) brandy. He handed us a really expensive and old bottle of cognac to store at our house for our cooking needs. I was surprised and asked him if he was sure he wanted to use the cognac and he said, “Well, it is brandy after all!” Now it just sits there because neither my husband nor I really drink and I don’t know how to cook with brandy. I guess I will look up some recipes though, thanks to your suggestion JFrater =). I like these cooking lists too because they always give me something to think about that night!
101. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Wally: The modern kitchen isn’t a slave ship. Can Gordon Ramsey cook? He sure can pick a publicist, that we know. There are many unsung heroes on lines everywhere, just itchin’ to be the sous chef, and on up. The kitchen has to be a highly regimented place, it is a symphony. Everybody plays their part, but even the illiterate Mexican dishwasher can impart some little trick you might not know. She may have learned it from her mother, and her mother from hers, and so on. You never stop learning, and G. Ramsey is a paper tiger. Bourdain, now. Kitchen confidential proves his mettle. Is he an ego maniac? Of course. But he ain’t no chef anymore. He is a frickin’ celebrity. I’m not kidding. I’d have a cook off with him. I’d put him on my saute station on Saturday night. Racked. We use the order, fire, pick-up system. Outside expeditor. 120 degrees on the line. I’d like to see him remember 60 entrees, 25 of which are his, and which goes with which. (WHERE IS THAT 4 TOP? FUCK!) Once you start to believe you’re the fucking greatest…Abusing the staff is a joke. There’s no time for that shit.
102. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Christine: you could throw some of the brandy on top of a steak and light it - then when the steak is out add cream to the pan and season to make a sauce
You could add whole peppercorns too - for a brandy and peppercorn sauce.
103. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 11:13 am
JFrater, what have you done?! I must have one. I love the name, too. The Kenwood Titanium Major (Basso Profundo). Shaken, not stirred.
104. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
goatmissile: heh it is a good name indeed
I only use the mixer occasionally - but it is a nice one to use and has a good sized basin. It makes excellent marshmallow 
105. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Christine:
Cook with brandy just as you would with wine, in essence… the alcohol will burn out during cooking our sauteeing.
And drink that stuff! Brandy is best as an aperitif… just a little swig in a glass. Good brandy is a delight, try it.
106. kerrick - June 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Wow, reading that list made me feel like a heathen.
I own a set of non-stick pans and el cheapo knives. I do own a cast iron skillet though! I never knew to use table salt to clean it though, I always had a special scrub pad for it, and never use soap. I remember when I was younger, this knife salesperson came around doing demos of Cutco knives. I was in awe when the scissors thingies could cut a penny into a corkscrew type shape. Perhaps when I get settled in better in a different place, I’ll try your suggestion of no non-stick cookware and… well, semi expensive cutlery. I can’t justify spending over $1000 on a piece of steel…. lol.
107. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
JFrater. Marshmallow. How frickin’ cool, and un007. Speaking of marshmallow, I once broke an Italian meringue–twice. I was making white chocolate mooooo!usse in 30 egg batches. Patiently seperating the whites, nice and clean, heating my sugar and water almost to hardcrack–on the edge of color–and wham! A fucking broken mess. The first time, I threw shit, totally not allowed. The second time I burst into tears like a bitch. The chef took me downstairs to the pub, cajoled me bit, poured me a brandy, sort of leisurely chatted with me for a little while, then got me to laugh. Then he said; Get the fuck up there and finish that list, or we’re doomed! Fucking ninety hour weeks. Third time’s the charm. I hate white chocolate mousse to this day. Never liked it anyway. Petroleum distillate.
108. Tamala - June 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
great list jamie
good info about salt any kitchen i work in i always tell people to wait till the water boils then add the salt…as salted water has higher boiling temperature and takes longer to come to the boil… and also always always when cookin anything red or green add a wee pinch of sugar preferably brown
109. MPW - June 25th, 2008 at 11:31 am
good ideas, but too bad I’m poor:(
Great list
110. SlickWilly - June 25th, 2008 at 11:32 am
jfrater: I think you’ve got the system figured out. Post a couple of high controversy lists, and then when the fracas starts to get out of hand, post a nice, neutral list about a topic that everyone enjoys, and we are all friends again. I’m on to you, buddy.
111. segue - June 25th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I can absolutely back you up on every count. I have always been the fanatics fanatic when it comes to food (among other things, but food especially!), so when my 3 kids were young I made *everything*, even their babyfood, at home, from scratch.
Bread? Homemade.
Nutbutters? Homemade.
I saw the cast iron skillet in the first image and felt a wistful tug at my heart, remembering all the preparations it takes to get one just right!
Every hint you gave is right on, but people have to start thinking about “cooking” rather that just “reheating” or “following package directions” in order for your hints to be effective.
A broth, be it beef, chicken, fish or vegetable, is so simple, I can’t imagine why you’d buy prepared broths. Just make up a huge batch on a day off and freeze it in usable chunks (depending on family size).
Sea salt is another prize. We don’t even measure it. Just a pinch here and there, taste, maybe a half pinch more.
About not moving the meat? Bingo! Although we only, ever, do our meat on the outdoor grill, the same logic applies.
I was making crab cakes last week, and I’ve always bemoaned the fact that in order to keep the cakes light, you can’t over mix them, so they tend to fall apart. I tried making them an hour ahead, and put the uncooked cakes in the refrigerator. Finally! Perfect crab cakes! They all stayed perfectly formed, and even though we live on California’s central coast, my husband said he’d never tasted a better crab cake.
So that tale is my thank you to you for the hints on your list!
112. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:34 am
goatmissile: That sounds very unpleasant. I have to say I love Mousse though! Have you heard of or tried Herve This’ chocolate chantilly? It is chocolate and water made in to a mousse - none of the cloying aspects of a regular mousse - all you taste is chocolate.
113. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Then there was the time I was making fine herb butter, and I dropped the cuisinart blade into the hobart while it was softening 15 pounds of plugra on high. The Hobie just flat stopped, and the cuis blade was firmly lodged between the paddle and the bowl. Bent the fucking cuis blade, too. I tried with all my might to get it out, and the sous chef Rob comes over and says; “What’s up, Dude?” He turns the hobie on and its 10 amp motor just hums loudly, the smell of machine oil fills the air.
He gives it a whirl, can’t do it, goes and gets a broom. He’s standing on the prep deck, broom handle lodged in the Hobie, trying to turn it backwards, and the Chef walks in. I was sorely tempted to run away and never come back. The amount of ribbing I took from everyone for weeks. OMG.
114. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Tamala: I hadn’t heard of the sugar trick - what does it do?
SlickWilly: hehe someone has to put out the fires
segue: thanks for the hint on the crab cakes - I have not actually made them before but when I do I will remember that.
115. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 11:38 am
goatmissile: now you see - it is stories like that that remind me why I am an amateur cook
I couldn’t stand the stress!
116. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Anyone wanna buy a mircowave? I’ll throw in a couple of bottles of Blue Nun for ya as well..
117. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 11:45 am
You can toss the microwave, but I’ll take the Blue Nun… I love the cheap white kraut wine. MMmmm mmmm! Drink it like soda pop. (It’s close).
118. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 11:45 am
JFrater. Wow. Sounds like an unholy yumfest. Reminds me of–I’m drawing a blank–what’s that whipped dessert, wine, egg white, you know, whisk like hell, round copper sauce pan. Alzheimer moment.
119. Crimanon - June 25th, 2008 at 11:58 am
JayNu: Get yourself some time off, hop the pond and visit. Free food!
Flavorless? So says the man who swears by the Perfect Roast Chicken.
120. jayhawk - June 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
jfrater (49) I completely agree grilling steaks is not the way to go. I don’t understand the need to marinate a good cut either. Let the flavor speak for itself.
121. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Nice one, Randall.
Some of these Chablis quaffing, Fat Duck eating people don’t know they’re born..didn’t have it that easy in my day.
122. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Very nice. I wish I had more time to cook meals, but I work 12-8. :\ My husband misses them, too.
Snooty or not, I like reading these lists. I have no objection to learning how to correctly do something that is vital to our existance.
Goatmissile: you talk funny! j/k; you do have some funny expressions, although they make me laugh.
123. S_R - June 25th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
JFrater: Oh, I plan to learn from him. After all, I would like to get married again.
What I mean is that I know (hope–he-he) we’re not going to be roommates forever. And, my first wife didn’t cook either!!
124. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Ray Bees:
Let’s face it. Cheap, easy white wine is the trailer trash, tattooed, semi-retarded cousin of red wine. I love ‘em both equally, because they both have their place. Yup, sometimes it’s great to have an expensive red… it’s what you need sometimes. Like the difference between sex where you just shred your clothes and go at it, vs. sex on a perfect day when you’ve taken her out on the boat for a great sail, and the sun was strong and the sky blue, and the two of you are in tune with the boat… and *then* you shred your clothes and go at it.
But I’ve always loved a quick and easy Blue Nun, or Soave, or Frascati. Nothing wrong with ‘em, and better than drinking some godawful make-me-gag Mountain Dew or Sprite. And they’re cheap and low-cal to boot. So drink up I say.
125. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Jhawk, and JFrater. Totally. Searing just about anything over grilling is always best. Sear it and finish it in a cool oven–like 340F. Finishing in the oven lets the connective tissues break down, making for tender steak, fish, whatever. Try searing a salmon filet in a quite-hot pan. Just flip that puppy and throw it in the (preheated, of course) oven. Depending on thickness, 4-6 minutes, max. You’ll be blown away, if you have been eating dried out overcooked salmon all these years. Your guests will try to hump your leg.
126. Tamala - June 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
jfater the sugar helps to balance acidity and bitterness in foods like tomatoes, red pepper, leeks, broccoli, almost any naturally red or green food…demarera sugar best in my opinion as it a more rounded flavour,,, but just a pinch
127. BrotherMan - June 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Wally: What is the ratio of Kosher and sea salt to human tears?
128. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Cedestra: Thanks. I love language, and years in kitchens makes for all sorts of weird shorthand, portmanteaus, slang. JFRater: What the hell is the name of that dessert? It is driving me apewire. Eggs, wine (sherry? White? Sauterne? Can’t remember) Frothy stuff served in a wine glass?
129. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Oh, and goiters and gout are not the same thing. Goiters are swollen gland- very swollen. Gout comes from eating too much rich food and drinking alcohol. Different symptoms, like achiness and swollen feet. Benjamin Franklin wrote a short story of a discussion with his Gout. Funny stuff.
130. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
RANDALL frickin’ rocks. #124, every word of it true true true.
131. Crimanon - June 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Brotherman: That’s twisted, Can you put me on standing order?
132. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
You could use the Kendall Titanium Major to Make Blue Nun Frosties. Oblitereated Not Stirred.
133. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Too many tears makes the sauce bitter. And Kudos to Brotherman for being so humbly frank.
134. WarningDontReadThis - June 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
My mom and grandmother are fantastic in the kitchen but as soon as I try to make something, like boil some eggs, I screw up badly.
It makes me never want to go near a kitchen again..
Great list though.
135. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
goat:
The dessert… perhaps…. Creme Brulee? Poulley Fuisse Fondue? Schnoopy Schnow Kone?
And thanks for the backup.
136. WarningDontReadThis - June 25th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Or the time I made pasta and it tasted and looked like dough..
*cringe*
137. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
So you’re saying sex and wine are similar in that you can spend a lot of time and money and make the experience the key or do it cheaply…they both end with the same outcome in their selected field. However, the experience is the lasting impression..the one you warmly remember..I feel you.
138. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Anyone know any good technique for making scrambled eggs? I can’t eat my own eggs- they make me want to puke. Maybe too much butter in the pan? They wind up being either too runny/liquidy or rubbery.
139. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
There was a list about New Zealand recently. They were discussing a white dessert that some chef baked for a long time. Everyone was saying how it must be like a brick afterwards. I had never heard of it, so I don’t remember what it’s called.
140. Tamala - June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Cedestra cook them slowly in a copper pan over a pot of hot water (ban marie)
141. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Cedestra: fortunately for you I have an excellent recipe for scrambled eggs right here: http://listverse.com/miscellan.....ng-tricks/
Number 2 is how to scramble an egg
142. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Ray Bees:
Yes, that’s it. Good for you, you get a gold star.
And uh.. yes… you feel me. But that’s okay, you can stop now, dude. Really, quit it.
143. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
JayHawk (120): completely agree - do not marinate good meat!
144. bucslim - June 25th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
addendum:
If your meal comes out of a box, you’re not cooking. Nothing wrong with that from time to time, but it’s akin to a quickie with Randall in a canoe. Sure it will satisfy, but it’s not the way you’re supposed to do it.
Cheez Whiz isn’t a food, it’s something you see a urologist for.
Pork fat rules. If you’re not cooking your hamburgers/steak/chicken breasts in bacon fat, you’re not cooking.
A Entomologist once pointed out to me that in 10 years of his students looking at the powdered cheese pack in Mac-N-Cheese, they have never had an instance of a pack that didn’t contain high amounts of cockroach parts and/or rodent hairs/feces. You are what you eat.
Alton Brown is a genius - if you don’t know how to cook, watch his show. Do what he says.
Anyone who doesn’t agree with me can lick my goiter.
145. Mark - June 25th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
What about too much salt?
146. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
goatmissile: are you thinking of a sabayon?
147. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Mark: add it bit and bit and you won’t get too much. I do not give credence to the silly “anti-salt” brigade.
148. Mark - June 25th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I’m not a cook, I just occasionaly eat food that has WAYYYY too much salt. I had a pretzel out in West Virginia and there was so much salt I had to SCRAPE OFF all of the salt for it to be edible.
149. Mark - June 25th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
A little salt is fine, though.
150. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Cedestra: the pudding is called a pavlova. The real thing is very soft and marshmallowy in the center and has a crisp shell on the outside. I am not a fan of it as it is too sweet - but it is very popular here. Here is a photo:
http://www.exclusivelyfood.com.....795304.JPG
you can see how the center is very soft.
And here is a recipe:
http://www.elise.com/recipes/a.....avlova.php
151. BrotherMan - June 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Crimanon: What would you like to order? We accept American Express, Visa and MasterCard.
152. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
bucslim:
What IS this with guys around here today “feeling” me and referencing sexual encounters with me in watercraft? I know I’m cute, men, but c’mon… I’m all about the ladies.
and buc, please… “a meal from a box?” YOU came from out of a box. Slickwilly and I sent away for you from an ad at the back of a Fantastic Four comic book and put you together with popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners. I’m just surprised you’re still hanging together. We only used Elmer’s Glue All. For chrissakes, bubble gum bonds better.
And goiters, buc, do not grow on the *side of your head.* I told you… that’s a tumor. I advised you to get it lanced and cauterized, but you won’t listen. People get nauseous when it gets all runny, buc. Honestly, it’s really gross.
153. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Watch the fantastic series The Wire and you’ll know what that means..it’s not gay like it sounds a bit..yo feel..
154. Tamala - June 25th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
cedestra ..reminds me of my fave crossword clue ever!!!
GSGE (9,4) took me hours to work it out hehehe
155. Randall - June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Ray Bees:
Ahhh yes… The Wire. Now we reach. We reach, brother.
156. meh - June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Good advice, but I have to agree that it is a bit snooty ($300 PER knife, “only” use fresh herbs). I guess people like me who can’t afford super pricey knives and don’t want to buy fresh herbs only to have them go to waste aren’t really cooking! Who knew.
157. WarningDontReadThis - June 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Jfrater: I just clicked the “I love cooking” part of the text and was met by the sight of a dead rabbit. D:!
First of all ew, second of all what does it taste like?
158. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
meh: the knife was my recommendation for the best - you can get good knives for much less. As for the fresh herbs - you are right… you aren’t really cooking
159. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
JFrater: SABAYON!!! Yes!
You can’t put too much butter in the pan for scrambled eggs. And for the love of God, never add milk to the eggs. BEAT THE EGGS WITH A FORK, BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Just harrass them a bit. Medium pan, cook ‘em quickly; loose but not too wet. Put the (kosher) salt in when you throw the eggs in the sauteuse (pan). In and out, nobody gets hurt.
HOT BUTTA’D GOITAS HE-A! GETCHER HOT BUTTA’D GOITAS!!
KIPPERED GUPPY PUFFS! GETCHA PUFFS HE-A!!
160. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Let’s all have a bit of Marmite on Lomticks, what?
161. BrotherMan - June 25th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
jfrater: I have grilled asparagus in aluminum foil drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and a few minced garlic cloves.
Is there a way to properly wrap a whole fish in aluminum foil with herbs and oil and smoke/grill the fish?
162. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
“Cuisine is when things taste like themselves.”
Curnonsky (adopted name of Maurice Edmond Sailland (1872-1956)
163. Catriona - June 25th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Ummmm….Jamie, after reading this I’m thinking that perhaps we should cancel the dinner invitation
Or at least, please don’t turn up until the food is on the plates!
164. Ray Bees - June 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
True that.
Hey, Jamie when you gonna do the very best TV shows in history? Mate of mine somehow got me into Buffy recently..shouldn’t like it but it rocks..
165. DK - June 25th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Buclism (144) I pretty much idolize Alton Brown! he’s like Bill Nye the Science Guy, but way more awesome.
166. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Knives are essential if you’re doing a lot of cooking. I need to find a good sushi knife- I make sushi weekly and I’m disappointed by my mishappen, squished rolls. If I didn’t make sushi, I don’t think I’d care too much about it.
167. Cedestra - June 25th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I Love Alton Brown, too. He makes cooking…FUN!
168. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Catriona: haha - these are the standards I set myself, not by which I judge
169. Ro - June 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I made up my mind that I’ll never cook, my grandma cooks for me and in the future I’ll keep a chef.
However,if(and only if)the situatuon arises that I ever need to cook, I’ll always remember this list.
170. DK - June 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I have to say I am guilty of having some non-stick cookware, but it’s good hefty stuff, unlike the crap my roommate insists on keeping in my kitchen, I’d be better off just putting a piece of aluminum foil on top of the stove than to use his “cookware.” I’m also guilty of overcrowding the pan, but I’ve been working on that recently.
171. Ro - June 25th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Oh, I forgot! What are wives for?
172. astraya - June 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Thanks for mentioning sharp knives! Last night I dreamed about someone walking through a meatworks chopping hands and feet off people, or slitting throats. I’m glad a didn’t dream about parasites two nights ago!
173. segue - June 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
****
goatmissile
I hate white chocolate mousse to this day.
****
lol! lol! lol!
When my eldest daughter was young, 4 through 10, she’d always ask for white chocolate cheesecake for her birthday cake. I’m sure you know what a hassle making that is…took me two days, and the cost!!!
AH, but a Mom will do anything for her child.
174. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Cheesecake. Horrid dessert. My heart goes out to you. But of course, I would hammer one out too, if one of my spawn wanted it. At least cheesecake can’t fall. And if it does, who cares? They’ll still love it.
175. bucslim - June 25th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Randall,
You must have been looking at the ad in the back of Conan for Charles Atlas. I still have the Tiger Skin loin cloth - the extra long version, mind you.
And I really don’t want to hear about your sick childhood fantasies about hanging out over at Slick Willie’s house while you two read Richie Rich comics while giving each other ‘back rubs.’ Of course there isn’t anything wrong with that, we just don’t want to hear about it.
The doc took care of the cauterization, but you might need to do something about that pant-load you carry around.
Hugs and Kisses - b
176. Crimanon - June 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
BrotherMan: Two cases of “Emo”, they usually have a little more Iron in them. One case of dried angels tears, they make good cakes. Three pounds of frog eye juices, for my sea food. The rare one; Three ounces of the tears of a Republican, good for explosives.
177. goatmissile - June 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Republicans don’t have tears. Or vertebrae.
178. Mom424 - June 25th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Segue: I also made all my kid’s food from scratch. Creamed salmon, chiken a la king, pureed veg, the works. The only baby food I ever bought was fruit. It was difficult to get the variety making my own. Apple sauce and strained peaches and pears only go so far. And besides I love bb food tutti-fruiti and blueberries. I never did the toddler food thing, mine moved from the strained stuff to straight table food with few modifications. My goodness, my babies ate taco’s and rare steak and everything we ate.
By the way it was my list with the tip about the fridge to make your perfect crab cakes. Which I love by the way. You should post the recipe on one of the forum pages.
**Deal Alert**
For all you folks complaining about the price of decent cookware, Costco often has good Lagostina cookware for under $250.00. When you take a look at the K-Mart, Walmart stuff that costs 150.00 for the set, and is just crap, the expense doesn’t seem too high now does it?
It is aluminum with a bonded copper (just shy of 1/2″ or 4mm) and the whole thing coated in Stainless for ease of cleaning. Not as good as solid copper, but excellent none the less.
Watch out, there are a couple of lines of Lagostina. Buy the ones with the solid handles. They are better constructed and they don’t trap food/gunk.
179. Mom424 - June 25th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
s/b bonded copper bottom.
Why can’t I ever get it right the first time?
180. simuun - June 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I have rarely ever cooked anything thats been edible. Although this list won’t help me too much in the kitchen it at least gave me some insight into some of the things i was DEFINITELY doing wrong. Great article!
181. jfrater - June 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
simuun: every little bit