Top 15 Quotes of Prince Philip
Published on September 11, 2007 - 42 Comments
Prince Philip is married to Queen Elizabeth II of England, making him the Duke of Edinburgh. He is quite famous in Britain for making some rather embarrassing, though often funny, comments. This is a list of fifteen of the best.
1. China State Visit, 1986
If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.
2. To a blind women with a guide
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
3. To an Aborigine in Australia
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation
“Where did you get the hat?”
5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union
“The bastards murdered half my family”
6. To a Briton in Budapest
“You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly.”
7. To a driving instructor in Scotland
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
8. After the Dunblane shooting
“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea
“You managed not to get eaten, then?”
10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin
“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”
11. On the London Traffic Debate
“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”
12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes
“You look like you’re ready for bed!”
13. Unknown
“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”
14. On key problems facing Brazil
“Brazilians live there”
15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean
“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”
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1. Aud - September 12th, 2007 at 1:39 am
Jeez, this guy just says what’s on his mind…
2. jfrater - September 12th, 2007 at 2:07 am
Aud: boy is that for sure
3. Reea - September 12th, 2007 at 3:24 am
I love this guy!
4. jfrater - September 12th, 2007 at 4:26 am
Reea: apparently he is an incredibly funny man.
5. miccas75 - September 12th, 2007 at 7:08 am
This dude rules.
6. jongleur - September 12th, 2007 at 8:16 am
It’s amazing what you can get away with saying, when you aren’t living in fear of the necessity to get re-elected.
For further proof, look at our Chimp-in-Chief…
7. Gr8flDdFn - September 12th, 2007 at 8:48 am
roflmfao, good ol prince philip.
8. JT - September 12th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Legend. Matches Boris Johnson for un-PC hilarity.
9. tjgrs - September 12th, 2007 at 10:14 am
prince philip is great, he would make a great stand-up comedian
10. jimmypecker - September 12th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
You missed the best one! At the state opening of the new Welsh Parliament he approached a group of deaf children, who were stood next to a Carribean steel drum band. He looks at the kids and goes;
“Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.”
He also told a 8-year-old he was too fat to best an Astronaut, and following on from your Luxury foods feature came out with this pearler:
“If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”
11. jfrater - September 13th, 2007 at 12:43 am
jimmypecker: hilarious! Thanks for adding those
12. smg - September 27th, 2007 at 10:59 am
the best of all… when visiting an historic tomb where thousands of indians had been brutally slaughtered, he turned to his guide and said “is it lunch time yet? I could murder an Indian!”
13. jfrater - September 27th, 2007 at 11:33 am
smg: surely not?! That seems a bit beneath him.
14. Punjar - September 27th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
I don’t know about the “is it lunch time yet? I could murder an Indian!” comment, but he did say a a poorly installed fuse box at a factory looked “like it was put in by an Indian”. And there was some other time he referred to a poor carpentry job as looking like it was done by an Indian.
15. davo - November 29th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
sounds like he’s lived most of his life with his head up his arse.
16. Daniel - December 8th, 2007 at 7:32 am
You missed my favourite! He was traveling by train to Northern Scotland when there was a problem on the line ahead and the train had to stop and a small station in the middle of nowhere. He was obviously put-out. A very nervous station master greeted him on the platform with the words:
(pointing down the platform)
“Just this way your Highness and we’ll entertain you in the first class lounge.”
To which Prince Phillip replied, in his wonderful plummy accent:
“Why? Are you a fucking juggler?”
17. youknowimright - December 8th, 2007 at 7:42 am
why has noone posted this:
“If I were reincarnated, I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”
the royals are sick nazi loving fucks, hang the bastards high, murdering scum
18. tim - December 8th, 2007 at 8:01 am
I’m no royalist, but some you are absolute morons. This is just a really funny guy who happens to be in a very weird role.
19. goonmaster - December 8th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
ha! he must know he can say whatever he wants ane we will just love him more!!
20. illuminaare - December 8th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Well he’s a racist and a bigot, but he’s honest about it. There’s nothing worse than a racist bigot who pretends that they don’t have a “racist bone” in their body.
21. Sqrrl - December 15th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Point 8 is perfectly reasonable, but the rest simply demonstrate what a bigoted idiot he is.
22. el duderino - January 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
All these quips are even funnier in Greek or Danish for that matter.
23. Hayzeus - January 3rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
2) Good line, wrong audience.
This is why inbreeding is a bad idea, people!
24. Giania - January 13th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I’ll believe all this when I see citations. Granted, I’m sure royalty do feel they can get away with anything, but that seems a wee bit over the top.
25. Jagerpirate - January 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I head most of them but its very likely that they’re all true. Thats why he’s the second best royal after the late Queen mum, he doesn’t think, he speaks!
26. Vespoidea - February 6th, 2008 at 8:22 am
I just think he speaks before he thinks and has a very dry sense of humour. Not a lot of poeple can appreciate that.
27. Jordan G - February 9th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
The Brazil comment was pretty damn funny (Don’t hate Brazilians, don’t even know any Brazilian stereotypes besides that they time travel).
28. elma R - February 18th, 2008 at 9:34 am
It must be horrible to be quoted each time you say something. we all say things we regret, but we are lucky enough that no-one pays attention. it’s like being under the microscope all the time.
29. Lexarony - April 11th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
That’s racist! None of that is true.
30. Survivor9413 - April 24th, 2008 at 10:42 am
people who like him are racist. No ifs no buts your racist
31. candyhardy - May 13th, 2008 at 4:47 am
I’m not sure if racist is the right word, I think he’s just drunk or maybe a result of old age. I still think he should be more deplomatic and considerate in what he says to the public as he’s a prominant figure.
32. Makepeace - May 14th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Prince is a weird role. So was head of the Gestapo. Both could have stepped down if they wanted to. If Philip ‘Windsor’ (not his real surname) ever took a moment to reflect on what it means to be born with ‘noble blood’, to rule over ’subjects’, to collect the taxes and tributes of the ‘base born’ … he would undoubtedly consider it his duty to carry on doing exactly as he has done. Good for the tourist trade eh? He doesn’t even like them. Perhaps the Windsor family should start earning their money and doing a little parade every day outside Buckingham and then the tourists would actually get something worth photographing.
33. Lini-Oh? - May 26th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
omg… can’t stop laughing.. LOVE #5 — Classic!!! ha ha ha
34. Mike - June 9th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Lol, he rocks.
Born on a kitchen table in Greece he was.
Can’t stand the Royal family, think they are a waste of money but Phillip does make me chuckle sometimes.
35. Bruce - June 28th, 2008 at 6:54 am
With his gay abandon and iconic carelessness I swear blind he could make a great Australian!