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Top 10 Coolest Santas

StewWriter . . . Comments

The visage of the Jolly Red-Suited man has been around for a long time, and many, many different versions for almost as long. Few icons have represented the Holiday of Christmas quite like the happy-go-lucky Santa Claus (aside, of course, from Jesus, himself) and few have had the impact that the droll elf has had. Over the years, many films and TV specials have been made featuring St. Nick, each portrayed in its own different way. Here are ten of the finest examples of how cool Santa can be.

10. Bill Goldberg (Santa’s Slay)

Bill+Goldberg

Bill Goldberg plays the devil’s son, who lost a wager with a angel and was forced to spend 1000 years playing Santa. Now the wager of that time has run out, and Mr. Santa isn’t so joyful anymore. He makes up for lost time and starts to kill people. And really, how incredibly cool does WWE Wrestler Goldberg look as the holiday elf? BAD ASS.

9. Paul Giamatti (Fred Claus)

Paul+Giamatti

As Nick Claus, later on the eponymous Santa, Paul Giamatti really embodies, and quite perfectly looks like, the jolly old fat man. Sure, it’s all suit and make-up, but in the facial expressions and mannerisms lie the real persona. Though I still see him as a masturbating wino in Sideways, Giamatti really pulls it off.


8. Richard Attenborough (Miracle on 34th Street)

Richard+Attenborough

Six-year-old Susan has doubts about childhood’s most enduring miracle – Santa Claus. Her mother told her the “secret” about Santa a long time ago, so Susan doesn’t expect to receive the most important gifts on her Christmas list. But after meeting a special department store Santa (who is convinced he’s the real thing) Susan is given the most precious gift of all – something to believe in. Sure, it’s a remake, and for the most part those really suck, but just look at the guy! Now THAT is a Santa!

7. Tim Allen (The Santa Claus)

Tim+Allen

Scott Calvin (Allen) reads The Night Before Christmas…then receives an unexpected visitor on his roof. When he’s startled by Scott’s calling out and falls, the Santa impersonator disappears, leaving only an 8-reindeer sleigh and a suit with instructions to put it on if it’s owner is involved in an accident. Scott does, and is transported around the town dropping gifts through chimneys, until he’s taken to the North Pole and informed by a group who claim they’re elves that he is now Santa. For actually being a relatively thin fellow, Allen looks surprisingly convincing as Father Christmas.


6. Jack Black (Saturday Night Live)

Jack+Black

In a hilarious Debbie Downer sketch, Rachel Dratch, in her most sob-storied, rotten-lived best, portrays Downer on Christmas morning. Jack Black as Santa (wonderfully done, by the way) attempts to get past Debbie’s neuroses by asking repeatedly what she really wants for Christmas, only to be blocked at every corner by her constant hypochondriacal issues.

5. Ed Asner (Elf)

Ed+Asner

Though Will Farrell steals the movie as Buddy, the elf, Ed Asner does a fine job as the portly man in red. He arrives only at the end, in a ruined sleigh, to explain to Buddy that the Christmas spirit is going to need to be refurbished in the city in order for him to fly again. He looks really cool as Santa, too, especially considering he’s kind of a grumpy ass.


4. Santa (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Rudolph&Santa.Gif

At first, Santa is a skinny jerk who croons madly about being the King of Jingle-Ling to Rudolph’s family, just moments after telling Donder that his son is a shiny-nosed freak. He let’s the father deer know, in no uncertain terms, that he is a failure of a father for producing such an abomination of an offspring. Well, as it goes, old Saint Nick eats his shitty words as he requires Rudolph’s assistance to guide his fogged-in sleigh. Take that, fatty!

3. The Grinch (How The Grinch Stole Christmas)

Grinch Santa

When the Grinch, annual loather of the poor little Whos down in Who-ville, decides to finally take matters into his own hands by raping the town of its Christmas celebration, he chooses to do so dressed as ‘Santy Claus’. By slicing up a curtain and attaching some white fluff, the Grinch looks really nothing like Santa to the human eye, but to Cindy Lou Who, he apparently does. Nice suit though.


2. Billy Bob Thornton (Bad Santa)

Billy+Bob

As the most obnoxious of all Mall Santas, Billy Bob, with his lanky and bony build, really looks nothing like the Jolly Fat Man. He’s drunk, rude, mouthy and a thief, but he is as cool as it comes when it comes to what matters: women and good old-fashioned Holiday Cheer.

1. Santa (Coca Cola)

Coke+Santa

This is it: the one and only. The popularity of the Santa Claus as we know him comes from an ad campaign from the Coca Cola Corporation in which the well established Victorian English image of Father Christmas was spread worldwide.

Contributor: StewWriter



  • sdggrant

    HAHA, I LOVE IT! Everytime I see Santa Claus I think of Billy Bob. I’d wager a fair amount that many santa claus’ live a life like he did in Bad Santa

  • sdggrant: that film was great – I felt so sorry for that poor little boy though!

    • kashmirj

      I felt so sorry for the little guy that I had to turn the movie off before I started bawling my eyes out lol

  • Twinkle

    i only wish he’s really real… heheehe

  • Mikerodz

    Everytime I think of Santa, I always pictured him in my mind as the Santa Claus from Coca Cola. Maybe because I grow up with that image and funny, I still love it. To other images….. I don’t take them so seriously. First impression really works.

  • No South Park Santa?

  • Mikerodz

    Twinkle: I also wish you accept it.

  • Late O’Day

    Forgot Art Carney in the Twilight Zone episode “Night of the Meek”.

  • JOE BLACKK

    Billy bob is one funny sonaovabitch…that movie has me rollin’ every time i watch it. But how bout the department store santa from “A christmas story…remember …he goes ‘
    “ho’ ho’ ho'” and then pushes the kid’s forehead with his foot sending him down the slide..lol….classic!!

  • Huston

    I haven’t seen a lot of these movie, but “Bad Santa” really did belong where it does. Nice work, jfrater. I’ll never forget the scene where he pisses himself on the Santa Chair,

  • NestorV

    BTW, do you people know why he is so jolly?
    He knows where all the naughty girls live.

  • Ginger Lee

    I’m glad it’s Richard Attenborough’s Kris Kringle, I think he was better than the original Miracle on 34th St guy.

  • JOE ROSSON

    GOLDBERG….GOLDBERG…GOLDBERG!!!

  • srichards

    haha i love bad santa and happy holidays all

  • Martin L

    Joe Rosson — you’re scaring me. But hey, speaking of scary, any time you bring on the original animated Grinch (and thanks for not bothering with that stupid Jim Carrey travesty, by the way) you have to mention the source of that Grinchy voice, my man Boris Karloff. Best of the Season to all!

  • dvhann

    Santa’s Slay with Goldberg as Santa was bad ass ahahaha

  • Dammit. #1 is a myth. The modern-day image of Santa does NOT come from Coca-Cola. Sorry.

  • TerranRich: re-read what it says – it does not say Santa came from Coca Cola – it says coca cola spread the “well established Victorian English image of Father Christmas” worldwide :)

  • 8==D

    That is like the coolest list ever!

  • dvhann

    jfrater: was this one of the winning lists in the christmas competition?

  • Sorry, I tend to jump the gun when it comes to myth-busting. ;)

  • dvhann: no – that will be out soon

  • Blogball

    I liked the the Polar Express Santa

    (From the book)

    http://nailedtotheweb.com/SANTA.jpg

  • MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL! Thanks for thoroughly enjoying another of my lists and I thought it was a nice capper to the holiday ones I’ve done thus far. Yeah, as always, I had to leave off a few.. for one, the Santa in Christmas Story was a hilarious guy for sure, but he was only in it for like fine minutes… also, I loved the Santa from Home Alone when he gives Kevin a few Tic-Tacs after he asks Santa’s advice… funny! Thanks for reading my lists over the past few months and I’ll always add more as I can, I hope you all have a great and blessed Holiday!

  • Mav

    Great List for Xmas eve. Gets you in the mood to drink eggnog and sing Christmasy songs.
    Merry Xmas everybody!

  • petey mcgee

    coca fucking cola? did they sponsor this? what a sellout.

  • JWJWBEAN

    What about Jack the Pumpkin King as Santa?

  • Yay bad santa rocks

  • Hehe, Jack Black…love it. Good list. =D

  • angelina

    I love the Grinch!! Great list, Stew!

  • Michael

    I think #1 is a bit of a misnomer. Coca-Cola’s Santa image really comes from American political cartoonist Thomas Nast, who is generally credited with the creation of the modern day Santa Claus.

  • petey: we don’t publish sponsored lists :)

  • Lochlann

    Dude, what about the bad Santa from the new Harley Davidson commercials. He way cooler than any of these dudes.

  • Xavier

    I believe an honorable mention for the Kramer Santa is in order. Great list!

  • Lindzer

    The iconic image of Santa was not Coca Cola, it would be Thomas Nast, done in 1863.

  • What about Dan Aykroyd’s Santa, when Winthorpe loses everything and gets wasted? :P

  • very cute list

  • I’d like to cast a vote for Art Carney in the Twilight Zone episode, “The Night of the Meek”. Anyone remember that one?

  • gcat

    You forgot one! Jack Skellington in Nightmare Before Christmas. I liked the list tho

  • DaRhino

    dude…Jack Skellington? The king of Hallowe’en abducts santa and takes his place? How awesome is that?!
    Still a good list though. I now have to buy Santa’s Slay. Good thing I got a best buy gift card :D

  • Xavier

    Robot Santa from Futurama.

  • Sean

    What about Jim Belushi in Jingle all the Way?

  • jbjr

    That was a list! Bad Santa was hilarious movie.

  • delandria

    take a look at “the hogfather”…That’s one of a hell Santa Clause !!!

  • cocololo

    oh i love coca-cola santa… it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, like back in the good old days when people didn’t lock their front doors and you could actually let your kid walk to the park across town…

    love it, great list!

  • Ash

    I want the Simpsons Santa
    When he’s in the video game advert

    “You want excitement?! SHOVE THIS UP YOUR STOCKING!”
    or
    “Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!”

  • Mark

    You forgot about the Santa Claus from “A Christmas Story.”

  • How about David Huddleson in Santa Claus: The Movie?>

    Probably the greatest Santa Claus in movies. And it was a riot seeing Daisy from Keeping up Appearances as Mrs. Claus

  • Name

    The Santa from "Santa Claus vs. the Martians" should be Number One. He was great!

    • Jay

      I'm Name. I just wanted to see what would happen if I didn't put in a name.

      Now I know. And strangely, after I posted as Name, it put my actual Username into the Name field. So I assume that's what will show up as my Username. I guess…

  • Plod

    How ’bout The Big Show as Giant Santa in Jingle Bells