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Another 20 Unfortunate Product Names

Satori . . . Comments

The first list in this series (Top 10 Unfortunate Product Names) was very popular and it inspired one of our readers to send in an additional 20 unfortunate products. For your viewing pleasure, may I introduce another 20 unfortunate (to say the least) product names:

20. Barf!

Barf119. Cock

3301618. Asse

Asse17. Cemen

Cemen16. Cock Soup

Cocksoup15. Megapussi

Collegehumor D4C57Dcd2Cb15D5F3D0D7498Ef07Cbf014. Erektus

Erektus13. Erector

Erpix112. Fart Bar

Fartbar11. Finger Marie

Fingermarie10. Golden Gaytime

Gaytime9. Happy Crak

Happycrak

8. Wack Off

Ir00017. Muffe

Muffe

6. My Fannie

Myfannie5. Pee Cola

Pee

4. Schovit

Schovit3. Shito

Shito

2. Woodii

Woodii1. Vergina

VerginaContributor: Satori



  • porobot

    Number one is not funny for Greeks (me for example)
    Vergina is the royal capital of the Macedonian empire. (Alexander the Great)
    And its kinda hard for me to see vagina in Vergina.

    • David Hopkins

      I’d say “Vergina” looks more like “Virginia.”

  • Joss

    I

  • Joss

    Wtf? Fine, I /heart Muffe.

  • DarkWolf

    Yes, I would really love a chocalate asse bar.

    • eliza

      wow u got problems.

  • rearden

    Where’s the older brother looking in #13??

    Sick.

  • sam

    ummmmm cock soup!

  • #15 LOL!! Top 10 big ones? Man, am i a pervert or wat..

  • toolnut

    Seriously. . . Lemon Barf!!! That brings back memories of a specific drink that didn’t sit too well with me. Yuck!

    Erektus has go to be fake, the picture on the can is just too perfect.

    Who needs an instruction book for and “erector”. I thought it was mostly involuntary.

    Pee Cola, what can I say, that is just wrong.

  • I’m gonna go out and find me a Fart Bar! Haha great list!

  • Taos

    “4. rearden – January 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Where’s the older brother looking in #13??

    Sick.”

    looking at the erector ;)

  • DanOhh

    When I drink from my wife’s Vergina I always have have to dig into her Muffe but I make sure to give her my Woodii. She’ll tell me that she doesn’t whan that and Schovit in my Happy Crak! Well then I have to Finger Marie insted because I’m stuck here with an Erektus and I realy need a Pee Cola.

    • NOORY

      LOL LOL LOOOOOLLLL YOU ARE A COMEDY GENIUS LMAOOOOOOO

    • Haha xD.

    • Jon

      Thats pretty good bro. More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • chershey

    The older brother in 13 seems to be thinking “my, what a nice erector you have there Tommy.”

  • chershey

    DanOhh: LOL!

  • Anthony

    Shito made me laugh out loud.

  • Joss
  • Mystern

    Good God . . . And I thought the first ones were bad . . .

  • toolnut

    DanOhh: that is pretty creative, couldn’t have done it better myself!

  • Chestica

    I always wake up to a big bowl of Happy Crak.

  • SubliminalDeath666

    ROFL!! Pee Cola! That’s just plain wrong!

  • Santiago

    Loooooovely… I loved the Finger Marie!
    In Argentina they had to rename the Mitsubishi Pajero to Montero, because “pajero” literally means “a guy that jerks off a lot”.

  • Schiesl

    what about the energy drink “Bawls” that is pretty funny

  • adam

    çemen would be ‘chemen’, not ‘cemen’.

  • me

    Great again but still nothing beats the I. Beat Blaxx from the first list

  • Borg

    This tastes like asse!

  • TMo

    Yo I had Erector sets when I was little. Always cracked me up asking for more for Christmas.

  • toolnut

    Well, we are having one of the worst winter storms in we’ve had all season right now. So I have been told to leave the office. This means, no more internet for me. Wish me luck getting home and catch up with you guys tomorrow.

  • Good luck toolnut!

  • DanOhh: your comment almost makes this a NSFW list :) Hilarious.

  • Versailles
  • Csimmons

    I want to me the assholes who give these products their names and just ask,”WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU THINKING?!?”

  • DanOhh

    So my wife says, “This Cock tastes just like Asse.” I tell her “I’m sorry I mixed it up with my Golden Gaytime.”

  • jake ryder

    I love that shito is new and improved. “Much better than our regular Shito.”

  • rearden

    Csimmons: I’d like to sit in on that boardroom meeting/strategy session and contribute!

    “Rearden, you haven’t come up with anything good lately. Problems at home?”

    “No sir, but I have a name that I think you may like…”

  • magnidude

    Well, concerning “Fart Bar” :). Let me just say that in the country of origin, Poland so to speak, the word “fart”, funny enough, has completely different meaning. According to my online dictionary it means “lucky break, flash in the pan (whatever it is :))”. The expression “mie? farta” (“mie?” meaning “to have”) means sth like “to be extremely lucky” and is commonly used in Poland. :D

  • Moriarti

    I wouldn’t having some vergina while I watch the superbowl

  • Derek99

    Hilarious list! Much happier than the World War 17 that’s going down at the bible tales list….

    I really want some of those fart bars

  • Csimmons

    Derek99: I know, but its more like World War 666 goin on over there.

  • Sorry for the distraction :) I am stopping my side of the debate now – pearls and swine and all that :)

  • New Improved Shito is like New Coke for me. I prefer Shito Classic!

  • lola

    I understand how these mistakes are made in other countries, where they are only concerned with what it means to them, in their language, but when it comes to English language products, then it really is a crime. WHACK OFF is insane.

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  • DanOhh

    Whack Off is at first trying to be responsible. Look at the top of the bottle there is a WARNING.

    KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN

    But then in the middle it says:

    NOT TO BE USED ON CHILDREN 5 YEARS OLD

    Should it read that it shouldn’t be use by anyone under the age of 18.

  • am
  • riledupone

    Or for some baked goods :
    http://www.milleroil.com/fbb/

  • Mom424

    I know wood, but whats a haribo?
    and #11 rofl…

  • downhighway61

    i don’t know about #3…
    it’s hard to improve on a classic.

  • Bob

    Engrish doesn’t really count.

    Erektus is probalby intentional.

  • Merllin

    Chupa Chups, which are a common lollipop in Europe, means “a BJ” in the Philippine language. Since it is a lollipop, it makes it all the more funny to me!

    http://www.sugarcopter.com/zen-cart/index.php

  • bucslim

    I was wondering where I could purchase some cock soup.

    A welcome respite from the bible comments.

  • hgaratie

    Notice #20 says in small letters: Barf means snow. As if they knew how retarded it was and had to explain! LOL

  • Csimmons

    I think the guys who made these names are the kids who ate paste in school.

  • Csimmons

    I sure would like to know where vergina is sold ;) Id buy tons of it!

  • Mom424

    hey bucslim; sorry if i offended you in the bible fiasco, you kinda had to follow the kiwi-boi interjection. I was kinda hoping to deflect debate, failed miserably I gather, its still goin’.

  • bucslim

    Offend me? No way man, or um wo-man. I just thought it was extremely funny that those terms came up in a Bible discussion.

  • Anonymous

    Vergina lol

  • I’m just trying to figure out *what* that is pictured in #14!

  • Tlmabp

    Vergina still sell in the streets specially on late night in clubs, but i dont buy it because I have my girlfriend who actually serve me some for free.

  • Dianne

    I was cleaning out a dresser at my grandmother’s house and found a package of dress shields that were labeled “Gay Abandon Dress Shields”….

  • satori

    The best thing about the “Shovit” is the thumbs up he’s making…it’s too perfect!

  • crimsonchrissi

    OMFG Shito looks like- SHITO!!

  • Are some of these american products?? I know some are not, but what of the others?

  • Nelia

    I laughed for about ten minutes at the lemon barf. I mean… most of the other products are at least foreign, so it might not mean the same thing, how does lemon barf manage to get made?

  • Ashley

    I actually own an erector set :)

  • Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard about the new and improved shito. I can’t even type it without giggling, which is probably annoying my roomate who is trying to do homework.

  • clashingthestars

    Ha..Finger Marie. Brings back fond memories :)

  • corinthian0430

    ROTFLMAO!

  • stormy617

    LOL I just got home from work and I have to say this was a very good laugh to come home to but I must say you guys have me scared to go and check out the other new list. :D

  • corinthian0430

    This should be under NSFW… I can’t stop giggling!

  • Csimmons

    I too have an erector set, and it ain’t small ;)

  • Arabella

    Ok so it’s bad enough that the product is called Fart, but it’s even worse that there’s a pic of an elephant too!!

  • goof_ball

    NEW IMPROVED SHITO!
    These are so funny! I want them to show people and make fun of them!

  • TheDragon

    I think I’m going to get an Erector and then Wack Off my Woodii…

  • Monkey

    DanOhh – LMAO That was clever!

    Great list, but it would be nice to know where these products can be found…

  • on jay leno he has a similar list of bad product names and the one i can remember was a brand of cookies from belgium called chokies. mmmm!fart bar

  • chachachano

    my dad used to work in a construction company named: erectors….

  • yong23

    Barf…it means snow…?!

  • skipps

    Spicy Cock soup mix! And it’s authentic Jamaican too! YUM.

  • About cemen… What does it mean in English?

    I also havent heard Barf-Muffe-My Fannie-Schovit. And I see a virgin in Vergina.

    Then again, English is my 2nd language.

    Cheers…

  • satori

    ozhan-doesn’t translate very well-a lot of it is slang in english. I’ll try though…takes the fun out of it though…
    barf= to vomit
    Fannie= backside
    Shovit= shove it (means sort of fuck off)
    Vergina= is like vagina
    Muffe= a slang term for vagina

  • Drogo

    I saw Barf on a site called thisisbroken.com. “Barf” does mean snow, but the company is in a hot desert country, Middle Eastern I think.

  • Thx :)

  • Ad 7: Believe it or not, I have stumbled upon empty Erektus on sidewalk can once while having romantic day with my girlfriend. We had a very good laugh :-) So, suffice to say, Erektus is not fake, believe me.

  • Mikerodz

    Satori: Maybe you can publish a directory or dictionary of those linggo. I remember a Japanese student made a mistake of entering a house by mistake and when he realized it was a wrong house he hurridly go our of the yard. The owner of the house saw him and said “freeze”. The guy continue to walk out so he was gunned down

  • satori

    OH MY GOD Mikerodz, that’s terrible!

  • Hemanth

    If you include japanese drinks, CALPIS would make this list. I bet Cal drinks a lot of water.

  • lols these are funny.

  • MzFly

    LMFAO!!! Pee cola and shito mix! HA!

  • jrjb

    Finger Marie a song? Just kidding.

    Happy crak popcorns – I think there’s a drug reference in there or a plumber mooning someone.

  • Philson

    I have a pack of liquorice mints called “Nigroids”
    they’re little black pellets too.

  • satori

    So, if BARF means Snow, then when I throw up, is it snowing?

  • jocsboss

    Nig comes from the Latin, nigra, meaning “black” or “dark”. Hence Nigeria, land of black people, or negro. Also the root of some offensive labeling.

  • Sirea

    As funny as “Shito” sounds, it’s pretty much a normal-sounding Japanese word, combining the syllables “Shi” and “To”. I kind of found this one to be a little on the immature side since it is just a word from a language that’s different than ours, but the rest was amusing enough ^^

  • Csimmons

    Half of the guys who make these product names are more than likely retarded

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  • Barb

    I LOVE a Golden gaytime. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm crunchy bits….

  • Glogi

    The Megapussi is not a product name. Pussi means bag in finnish, so it is nothing else just a Megabag :) But anyway that chips is really good :)

  • Nik

    Barf means ice or snow in India and other South Asian countries

  • These names are so incredible. If you had not shown me the wrappers, I wouldn’t have believed that these would be names of products. Certainly, they are very funny. Nice collection.

  • Denzell

    I would like to suggest Caronia Nail Polish: Passion for Color (if you ever heard of such a product). ahem… Okay, I’m not a girl, but I sure know that “caronia” is a vulgar latin word meaning “carcass”, or dead body.

  • DuckDaffy

    7. toolnut: Erektus is real energy drink from Pinelli company from Czech Republic. ;)
    http://www.pinelli.cz/Produkty/prehled_produktu/ErektusGuaranaEnergyDrink.html

    And Semtex is energy drink too. :)
    http://www.pinelli.cz/Produkty/prehled_produktu/semtex.html

  • The General

    Re FART bar: “Orzech[ovy]” means “nut” in Polish. So you’ve got a nutty fart bar there!

  • Lolz, may I suggest “Dickenbut” banana flavored crisps?

    Oh, and JF, I know where you’re from :D

  • But don’t worry, I won’t say.

  • If you haven’t guessed, I’m just fishing for comments.

  • Cyn

    100. Concerned Observer
    uh, yeah. so stop it.

  • NikPG

    Cox & Kings a travel agency would also qualify I guess….

  • Lol

    In Montenegro, they sell biscuits called Noblice
    I looled

  • forti

    no. 12 is Polish and the word fart means a ‘stroke of luck’.
    I know a second hand shop named Fart, and though it’s supposed to mean ‘lucky’, my mind is too corrupted by English to ignore the double meaning. ^^;

  • warningdontreadthis

    Nr 2 is from norway and schovit from denmark XD

  • Lothenon

    There’s “Shovit” in billions of German households, as it’s sold in the largest supermarket chain in the country.

  • Cheezebat

    Why yes, I would like to taste your banana-flavoured Woodii; thank you so much!

  • Polly Odyssey

    Mmmmmm Cock Soup! And who doesn’t love a Golden Gaytime?!

    By the way, to make Erektus even funnier, closely examine the black inkblot on the can.

  • Taija

    You’d die of laughter if you came to Finland, because you see “pussi” everywhere (that sounded wrong..).

    A few examples:

    http://www.newsfroup.net/pussi/20030910-karkki-pussi.jpg (karkki means candy)
    http://www.diplomats.ca/m/images/aug2007/pussi.jpg

  • Mark

    Cemen should be pronounced something like “cheemun” I’m not good at Turkish pronunciation, but I know the c with a squiggle below it means “ch.”

  • cuddlebot

    i saw a picture online the other day of a package of meat from japan called “homo sausage”

  • Jennifer_Fairy

    wouldn’t fancy washing my things in barf . . .

  • Polly Odyssey

    I don’t think there’s any good way to advertise Barf.

    “Use Barf, and you’ll get noticed.”

    “Hey, Mom, you smell like Barf!”

  • Eleutheria

    Golden Gaytime is actually pretty good. That was way back when gay actually meant vivacious.

  • turfer smurfer

    nicee! but what about the chocolates? its name is “Van Houten” i swear its real!!

  • ligeia

    Americans think Fannie is funny because it’s slang for your backside. In Ireland and the UK it’s slang for a lady’s private parts, so it’s even ruder over here. And the people who think that the people who came up with the names are retarded, presumably they are not English speaking and didn’t bother to check if their product names are going to be rude/humourous in other countries. Like comment 47 about Chupa Chups being a BJ in the Phillipines – I have a few Chupa Chups at home!!

  • ajaxkid

    These are so funny.
    I know this isn’t the same as an “unfortunate” product name, but there was very recently a Jewel grocery store TV ad.
    They were bragging about their bakery as viewers were treated to an up close and slow scan of some freshly baked rolls…
    These rolls, ahem, looked exactly like, ahem, female parts…
    My husband and I could not watch that commercial with a straight face.
    It was BAD.
    And though I cannot mention this as an “unfortunate” name, I’d like to mention it as an “unfortunate” visual in advertising.
    I guess I just needed to get that off my chest… it was traumatizing.

  • Nattuli

    I think it’s so funny how many jokes can be drawn from the Finnish word for bag (which is “pussi”). I never thought of saying the names “megapussi” and “jussipussi” the way they would be pronounced in English and only recently realized that it might somehow be funny. Personally, it cheers me up that in the English speaking world us Finns are in fact ridiculous, something that our nation is trying so fiercely to avoid.

  • mami

    Hilarious.

  • kerris

    I LOVE GOLDEN GAYTIMES! They’re like the best ice-cream ever.

  • Emma

    So Kerris, would you say that they’re better to lick or to suck on?

  • bradm

    “coon” cheese, a big brand here in australia

  • Ouroboros

    seriously-funny name but golden gaytimes are the best!!! (and before someone has to make a childish joke about the phrasing, i will-‘yeah golden gaytimes are the best-huh like, like homosexual sex’-there no need!)

  • Corey

    When I was in France, I found some bottled beverage named “Pschitt”. Needless to say, my friends and I were entertained by that for hours.

  • SAMBO

    Corey, when I was in france I also saw that…:D

    Also, Golden Gaytime is quite tasty. XD

  • Carlos M.

    Number one has to be my all time favorite! lmao

  • Fanny

    Thanks to these lists I can’t even shop for chips or candy anymore here in Finland.
    It just gets too weird to crack up in the middle of shopping for Taffel megapussi.

    And what comes to my own given NAME – thanks a bunch, listverse. :-(
    It used to be a distinguished name over here.

  • Ninja_Wallaby

    I love Golden Gaytimes too, absolutley the best icecreams ever. btw since i think naobody has mentioned they are from Australia.

  • Viivi

    Actually, “megapussi” is not a product name. It could be best translated as “mega-sizeb bag”. Raffel is the real product name there :–D I should know, I’m Finnish as is that bag of chips.

  • Mark

    131. Viivi : It’s funny either way, I’m actually more amused now that you’ve pointed that out :D

  • EFR

    “Erektus has go to be fake, the picture on the can is just too perfect.”

    That looks like some relatively new hip energy drink, so I doubt it’s fake, probably just done on purpose.

  • Georgia

    i love gaytimes! they’re the best (Y)

  • kkynl

    Number 17 is read like “Che-men”. The first letter is not a “c”.

  • kelkka

    think of it like this: raffle megapussi :) makes it even funnier huh? or even megapussi raffle. but yeah. like viivi and few others have already pointed out the real product name isn’t megapussi. taffel are really tasty chips you know;) come to finland and die in agony!!! :D

  • Soph

    There is a brand of mexican snack foods named ‘Bimbo’.

    Whenever I see them in the stores, I practically pee myself laughing.

  • mavroprovato

    Hilarious! Did you know that “pouches” mean “dicks” in Greek? Also the British female name “Pipa” is Greek for blow-job? During the 80’s, Seat had to rename the “Malaga” model to “Gredos” because the word sounded just like the Greek term for “jerk off”.

  • aaltman9

    hilarious. in order to avoid these mistakes, i suggest reading onthebutton’s guide to naming products/companies: http://onthebutton.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/10-ways-name-your-company-product/

  • Co0l dUdE :-)

    Hmmmm…
    I Am plaNnIng to open a pee cola manufaturing unit
    i have plenty of raw material ?!!

  • Hodari

    A funny thing, two of those products are from Finland, my home counrty. ANd another funny thing, my younger brother is food-allergic, but he can eat those Raffels (*i gotta check, if he uses only megapussis) Megapussi by the way means megabag. Those Muffes… i’m not that good in english, so i dont find anything funny in them… but, i can tell that the inscription in them says: lemon cupcakes. You see, muffinssi, means cupcake in Finland, so Muffe is ahorter name for them.

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  • kennypo65

    Is the vergina canned in its own juice?

  • VI6SIX

    Try some ‘big cock’ energy drink. This is an actual product on sale in NZ.

    http://bcenergy.co.nz/images/bca4a.jpg

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  • izzy

    Ever hear of ‘naked juice’? My friend drinks it and i say, “You like drinking naked?” He sees nothing wrong with that sentence.

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  • Jaryuki

    Taffel Megapussi.. well, pussi is just Finnish for “bag” but I can’t deny that to the ear of a foreigner it sounds pretty damns inappropriate. Majority of taffel potato chips come in Megabags too so you got plenty of Megapussi flavors, shapes and even colors to choose from!

  • Brandon

    Anyone up for a golden gaytime?

  • Joanne

    How about some “carabao dang:”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabao_(drink)

    fortunately for them they put an a after the d instead of a u

  • YoungAnabaptistRadical

    Has anyone else noticed that Cock has crabs?

  • Szoren

    Kumon deserves a nod does it not?

    Kumon!

  • Muuli

    Yes, two of those are from Finland, and I’d like to add one more, crisp bread called Kunto:
    http://www.vaasan.com/public/fi/01_tuotteet/04_nakkileivat/index.jsp?tt_view=4630

  • Meeja

    Barf is actually a brand of washing detergent that can be purchased for example in Afghanistan. Barf is Persian and means snow. Oh crap I am nerdy haha.

    I laughed though when I saw it a few months ago.

  • eliza

    I don't like any of em all of the products are stupid

  • Mojgan

    in persian, barf means: snow ! a wighte as snow!

  • There is also a range of Finnish puddings/yogurts called Jacky, which is pronounced like yacky in Finnish.

  • Someone

    Funny coincidence: Only today I learned that there is a manufacturer of turbochargers by the name of “KKK”. :-)

    To the person who asked for Haribo: It is an abbreviation for HAns RIegel, BOnnn, a german manufacturer of sweets. Best known are their “Gummibärchen” which are small bear-shaped wine gum pieces. These are effin´ yummy, btw.

  • Hilarious xD

  • Guest

    #17 – the starting C actually has an English "ch" sort of sound.
    #20 – the "a" is pronounced the same way as in "cat". Barf means "snow" in Persian.

    But, the average English speaker wouldn't know that obviously…just wanted to share that :)

  • Jay

    this list is way better than the first

  • I want some Happy Crak! That one made me laugh out loud.

  • icily

    i love golden gaytimes they are the best icecream out

  • kashif

    hello

  • rosie

    We jamaicans are proud of our cock soup the name is catchy and sells

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  • ERECTUS!

    Kid: Daddy, why are there tadpoles in my lemonade?
    Dad: that isn’t lemonade son, and those aren’t tadpoles. IT’S ERECTUS!

  • Nikovic

    Intresting. I drink Schovit since I was a kid and I never noticed it can be read as “shove it” lol

    It’s better then nesquick though.

  • Anne Onemus

    Germans also have the pleasure of being able to buy and enjoy “Happy End” toilet paper.

  • Mr Gaytime

    I love Golden Gaytimes too! Very common here in Oz, in fact the petrol station down the street has them in their fridge.

  • Rui

    My dear Listverse article authors. English language is not the only language in the world. You may call this list: “10 foreign produt names we don’t know what they mean, but let’s laugh about them because we don’t have anything better to write.”

  • Lex

    I’ve been using the “cock soup mix” for years and never even thought about the fact that other people would see it that way. Pretty funny though.

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