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20 Fantastically Named People

JT . . . Comments

It’s amazing how many people nowadays have bizarre and unusual names. Most changed their names via deed poll, but a few were born with that given name, and very few have gone on to live successful lives regardless of their name. The following people have fantastic or apt names, all are their original birth names, and all have achieved some sort of fame outside of their name.


Fantastic Names 1 – 5


1. Canaan Banana

Canaan Banana served as the first President of Zimbabwe from 18 April 1980 until 31 December 1987. A Methodist minister, he held the largely ceremonial office of the presidency while his eventual successor, Robert Mugabe, served as Prime Minister of Zimbabwe. Banana was later convicted on charges of sodomy and imprisoned. He died 2003. Mr Banana is pictured above on the right. To his left is evil despot Robert Mugabe.

2. Praise-God Barebone

Praise-God Barebone was an English leather-seller and radical preacher. He is best known for being elected to the Nominated Assembly of the English republic, in 1653. The Assembly was known commonly as Barebone’s Parliament due to its domination by religious and political eccentrics such as Praise-God, who was a Fifth Monarchist and believed in the imminent end of the world and return of Jesus. He died in 1679.

3. Walter Russell Brain

Baron Brain was an eminent neurologist who authored the standard work on the subject, “Brain’s Diseases of the Nervous System”, and long time editor of the neurological medical journal Brain. He was knighted in 1952 and made Baron Brain in 1962. He died in 1966.

4. Marc Breedlove

Marc Breedlove is a Professor of Neuroscience at Michigan State University. He is known for his work into the study of sexual attraction and sexual behaviour. His most influential work was in discovering that lesbians have a more masculine digit ratio than straight women, a finding that has been replicated in his and many other labs and which indicates that lesbians, on average, are exposed to more prenatal testosterone than are straight women.

5. Thursday October Christian

Thursday October Christian was the first son of Fletcher Christian (leader of the Mutiny on the Bounty) and his Tahitian wife Maimiti. He was conceived on Tahiti, and was the first child born on the Pitcairn Islands after the mutineers took refuge on the island. Born on Thursday the 14th of October, he was given his unusual name because Fletcher Christian wanted his son to have “no name that will remind me of England”. He died in 1831.


Fantastic Names 6 – 10

Thomas Crapper6. Thomas Crapper

Crapper was a noted English plumber who made significant contributions towards the improvement of the flushing toilet. He held many toilet related patents, including the floating ballcock, and founded the plumbing company Crapper and Co. He died in 1910. Mr Crapper is pictured above.

7. Prince Octopus Dzanie

Prince Octopus is an amateur boxer from Ghana who competed in the 2008 Summer Olympics and the 2006 Commonwealth Games.

8. Argelico Fucks

Fucks is a Brazilian professional footballer. He won the Rio Grande do Sul State league, the Brazilian cup, the Brazilian Champions Cup, the Conmebol Cup plus the Portuguese league, cup and Supercup. He also represented Brazil internationally at the Under-20 level winning both the South American Championship and the Youth World Cup.

9. Learned Hand

Learned Hand was an influential United States judge and judicial philosopher. He served on the Southern District Court of New York and the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit. Hand has reportedly been quoted more often than any other lower-court judge by legal scholars and by the Supreme Court of the United States. He was a stronger supporter of civil rights, civil liberties and judicial restraint. He was an expert in statutory law in patents, torts and antitrust. His writings remain admired in the history of legal literature. He died in 1961.

10. Ima Hogg

Ima Hogg, known as “The First Lady of Texas”, was an American philanthropist, patron and collector of the arts, and one of the most respected women in Texas during the 20th century. She received an honorary doctorate in fine arts from Southwestern University, and was a large contributor to Houston’s Museum of Fine Arts. Very wealthy due to her family’s oil business, Hogg founded the Houston Child Guidance Center, which provides counselling for disturbed children and their families. She also established the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health at the University of Texas at Austin in 1940. Hogg successfully ran for a seat on the Houston School Board in 1943, where she worked to remove gender and race as criteria for determining pay and established art education programs for black students. Hogg never married, and died in 1975.


Fantastic Names 11 – 15


11. Rusty Kuntz

Kuntz is a former Major League Baseball player and currently first base coach for the Kansas City Royals. He was part of the Detroit Tigers that defeated the San Diego Padres in the 1984 World Series. Mr Kuntz is pictured above.

12. Chuck Long

Chuck Long is the head football coach at San Diego State University. He played quarterback in college at the University of Iowa and professionally with the Detroit Lions and the Los Angeles Rams. He is an inductee of the College Football Hall of Fame.

13. Adolf Lu Hitler Marak

Adolf Lu Hitler R. Marak is a politician in the state of Meghalaya, India. It may be noted that his name is not particularly curious within Meghalaya, where other local politicians are named Lenin R. Marak, Stalin L. Nangmin, Frankenstein W. Momin, or Tony Curtis Lyngdoh. Hitler Marak told the Hindustan Times: “Maybe my parents liked the name and hence christened me Hitler… I am happy with my name, although I don’t have any dictatorial tendencies.”

14. Ten Million

Ten Million was a minor league baseball player who played for various teams in the Northwestern League in the years prior to World War I. He is most famous for appearing on the first set of Obak baseball cards where he became very popular due to his name. He died in 1964.

15. Chris Moneymaker

Chris Moneymaker is an American poker player who won the main event at the 2003 World Series of Poker. His victory is generally credited for being one of the main catalysts for the poker boom in the years following his win. He is one of the most successful poker players currently touring with total live tournament winnings of over $2.8 million.


Fantastic Names 16 – 20

Rpo 63-Large16. Revilo Oliver

Revilo Oliver was an American professor of Classical philology, Spanish, and Italian at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, who wrote and polemicized extensively for White Nationalist causes. Oliver also briefly received national notoriety in the 1960s when he published an article following the John F. Kennedy assassination, suggesting that Lee Harvey Oswald was part of a Soviet conspiracy against the United States; in response, he was called to testify before the Warren Commission. As per family tradition, his name is a palindrome. He died in 1994. Mr Oliver is pictured above.

17. Richard Plantagenet Campbell Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville

Richard Plantagenet Campbell Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville was British statesman and close friend of Benjamin Disraeli. His name arose through successive generations of people with double barrelled surnames adding and adding instead of compromising. He died in 1889.

18. Peerless Price

Peerless Price is an American football wide receiver who is currently a free agent. He was originally drafted by the Buffalo Bills in the second round of the 1999 NFL Draft, and has also played for the Atlanta Falcons and the Dallas Cowboys.

19. Jaime Sin

Jaime Sin was a Filipino bishop who later became archbishop of the Roman Catholic Church of the Philippines and was henceforth known as Cardinal Sin. He was only the third native Filipino Archbishop of Manila, following centuries of Spanish, American and Irish episcopacy. Cardinal Sin died in 2005.

20. Wolfgang Wolf

Wolfgang Wolf is a German football coach who once managed Wolfsburg FC.

Contributor: JT

  • postman

    Wasn't there a Master Bates in Captain Pugwash?

    • Lemon Chiffon Pie

      Apparently that’s not true – he was called Master Mate. Sorry :o(

  • nyys

    And nice list too.

  • Adriana

    Parents have a lot to answer for…………

  • emmstein

    Growing up in the Philippines, I always thought Jaime “Cardinal” Sin had an ironic name for his title.

    Nice list. But nothing beats Pussy Galore from the Bond movies. Hearing the name always makes me giggle like a school girl.

  • Hill

    nice list! haha, funny stuff

  • bobo

    Interesting names. Wonder if they got teased when they were younger…? Haha…

  • geronimo

    The state of Kerala in India is home to some of the weirdest names in the planet…

    I did my schooling there and had a friend called titty abraham
    and then there were the brothers Boobily and Obily Mathews.
    During my College time, i knew of this girl everyone loved..They all called her darling and that was her name…shailaja Darling
    and these are just some of the strange names u will find in Kerala.

    • jayansen

      Dude … u mean 'Darling' is a strange name …. LOL

  • Drogo

    I had an english teacher named Mr. English.

    The veterinarians for our cats are a husband and wife team, their last name is Catt.

  • Brendan

    Let us not forget Sgt. Max Fightmaster

  • astraya

    A fun list. Hooray!

  • Sgt. Batguano

    In Northern Virginia there is a Dr. Harry Beaver who is…you guessed it, an OB/GYN. To verify you can enter his name and Fairfax, VA in Yahoo.

  • Ghidoran


  • FlockO’Seagulls

    Don’t forget the obvious…Tiger Woods!

  • njfed
  • ScubaSteve

    The proctologist I went to about 7 months ago was named Dr. John Finger. Im just glad his surname was not Fist or Boot or some such.

  • cass

    There was a Dr. Slaughter in my hometown of Brisbane, Australia.
    And an unsubstantiated rumour of twin siblings named Pearl and Sydney Harbour.
    And regarding Master Bates and Seaman Staines from Cpt Pugwash;
    always check first….

  • ronsantohof

    Former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle was a favorite name on Sportscenter in the 90’s.

  • Peri

    Darn it, Sgt. Batguano, you took mine! My mother used to know him–he was a customer at her bank. She had several unusually named customers, including the Hines couple who named their son Duncan.

    (For those not in the U.S., Duncan Hines is the name brand of a cake mix).

  • ligeia

    When I was receiving my arts degree there was a girl called Anita Cushion on the list, seriously! Recently in New Zealand a judge in a custody case allowed a young girl to change her name. Her parents called her Talula does the hula from Hawaii.

  • Spart

    Saw a Doctor Duck in Kalgoorlie, WA.

  • cass

    And I guess Dick Armey would have to be up there.

  • Hmm

    Where’s Moon Unit Zappa?

  • Ingi

    Where is max fightmaster?

  • Iain

    Re number 17 – I’m pretty sure there were other aristocratic british names from that period that were even longer.

  • jhoyce07

    19. Jaime Sin

    Jaime Sin was a Pilipino bishop who later became archbishop of the Roman Catholic Church of the Philippines and was henceforth known as Cardinal Sin. He was only the third native Filipino Archbishop of Manila, following centuries of Spanish, American and Irish episcopacy. Cardinal Sin died in 2005.

    ~ it’s “Filipino” not Pilipino, JFrater..ü

  • Tfisch

    What, no former NBA Allstar World B. Free? Also, contrary to popular belief, Ima Hogg never had a sister named Ura.

  • jeff

    Where is former NASCAR star Dick Trickle????

  • S

    In Mumbai, India there is a a person whose sign board said Dr. Pran Lele. Lele is a popular surname in Maharashtra. Incidentally Pran in hindi means life and Lele translated in hindi is to take. So rough translation would be Dr. Life Taker :)

  • Mr.Clean

    I went to a urologist whos name was Dr. cox… no joke. This was when i was in the military and this particular doctor was a Major.
    Te he he…. I wish i were joking!

  • Iain

    There’s also Stefan Kuntz – a well known German international footballer. His name was used to great effect in the video for “3 Lions” a song celebrating England’s 1996 European Championship campaign (held in England). In keeping with Anglo-German rivalry, German supporters are all shown with porn-star moustaches, mullets and wearing German soccer jerseys with ‘Kuntz’ emblazoned on the back.

    As a Scotsman, I’m glad report that Karma played a part as Germany eliminated England from their own tournament in a penalty shoot out.

  • Iain

    Following up my point about number 17 – here goes (deep breath)
    Captain Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache

  • dischuker

    regarding chris moneymaker…to say that he is one of the most successful poker players currently is quite the stretch. by the poker community, he is regarded as one of the worst players to ever win the main event of the world series of poker. this is why he is credited with being the catalyst of the poker boom. millions of people saw him play and thought, i can beat that guy and he just won millions of dollars.

  • The_Patient

    Wow to number 17!! “Richard Plantagenet Campbell Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville”

    An actor (an pro skateboarder) Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspektor.
    Kinda cool actually….

  • The_Patient

    Also, I know a woman called Simone Simon.

  • lotte

    I wonder how they or their parents actually thought up of those names!
    Ten million? Ain’t their parents afraid that their kids may get made fun of in school?or did everybody had weird names?

  • Tom

    One of the co-founders of Party Poker (the guy who wrote the software) earned over a billion dollars when they floated on the stock exchange. His name is Anurag Dikshit

  • kittym

    For Red Wings fans out there, there’s a family in my neighbourhood, the Arenas, who named their first son Joseph Louis. Joe Louis Arena. Poor boy. I bet he wears a lot of red.

  • AnotherEngine

    There’s always Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp. I often wonder about that one…

  • warningdontreadthis

    Haha, I had a good laugh. xD

  • Callie

    Ima Hogg?

    That’s awful. Her parents were mean folks.

  • Nicosia

    Dang, and here I thought I was cool because my name is Nicosia…

    • chiranjib

      Reads like some sort of herbal medicine.

  • MT

    Baseball player- Milton Bradley
    Race car driver- Lake Speed
    Skier- Picabo Street

    How did you miss those names?

  • JLo

    Great list. No Slim Pickens?

  • Sammaji

    Poor Thomas Crapper…forever associated with “taking a crap”.

  • glaukopis

    I went to high school with a kid named Phuc Boi.

  • papabear

    I work with a lady named Candy Dong (giggle).

  • MzFly

    HaHaHa – Great List!
    When my brother was younger he had a friend named J.T. Dickey. The first time he went over to the kids house he came home laughing his ass off and I asked him why – apparently JT’s dad was in the Navy and there was a picture of him as a young man and under the picture it read: Private Seaman Dickey! lol

  • berto

    Chad Ocho Cinco!!! (must not have many NFL fans here)

  • bry the creep

    i went to co;;ege w/ a korean girl who spelled her name in english: Miok Im. Spell out the letters….she never got it.

  • Cubone

    Excellent list. The comments on this one are as good as the list!

  • Lusus

    Great list!
    As for the comments about Tiger Woods and the Tv show Captain Pugwash, Tiger Woods real name is Eldrick, Tiger is a nickname. And the Captain Pugwash rude names are an urban legend.

  • Rockdoc

    How can we not mention the first American woman in space: Sally Ride and prophetically, twenty years earlier the great soul song all about her: Ride, Sally, Ride.

  • rolltide

    my driver’s ed teacher was named Mr. Wreckedge…

  • Sedulous

    I think there was a college basketball player named Duaney Duaney or something like that. Then there was that girl whose parents named her after 25 different boxers.

    Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.

  • deepthinker

    I had a music/band teacher in school named Carol Carrell. When her mother was young, she promised her best friend she would name her first daughter after her.. Carol. Ironically, she married a man with the last name Carrell. Funny. Neat list!

  • JT, wonderful list! Great to start your day with a laugh.
    I have a few to add.
    I went to kindergarten with a boy named Peter Ramsbottom.
    In grammar school, one of my best friends was from a family of five girls, all named Mary.
    In high school, one of the girls last name was Knipple.
    My Dad was a medical corpsman in the Navy, his commander was Dr. Seagrave.

  • Mr.Clean

    your father was a hospital corpsman, not a medical corpsman.
    sorry to be a dick.

  • longball

    what about lance armstrong, powers boothe, max planck, commander flex plexico, Dr. Duncan Steel, Stirling Mortlock, Magnus Ver Magnusson, Dick Pound, and the great Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster…?


  • 57. Mr.Clean, it was during WWII, and he was serving on a destroyer. I remember distinctly what he said he was, and what his gravestone says.

  • Mr.Clean

    Sorry again to be a dick, but i myself am a corpsman and i happen to be quite familiar with the history and the titles through hisory are as follows:

    – surgeon’s mates
    – Loblolly boys
    – surgeons Steward
    – Apothercary
    – Hospital corpsman

    If you disagree, you might want to look up the history.

  • ScottyBGood

    A few years ago Total Film magazine had an informal competition to find the strange names listed in movie credits. The two winners:

    Lowmoan Spectacular

    and Yolanda Squatpump.

  • Phender_Bender

    What about Bob Loblaw, and his famous Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog?
    I heard there is actually a guy named Bob Loblaw who actually has a law blog…

  • 58. Mr.Clean, it’s entirely possible he called himself (to us, as children) a medical corpsman, when he was, in fact, a hospital corpsman.
    My mother had the gravestone marker made-up, and so could have just made the same error I did.
    Whatever, the commander was still named Dr. Seagrave.

  • antlyon

    Cool list.
    I remember a minor league hockey referee from the Central Hockey League back in the 70’s. Name was Harry Dick

  • Mr.Clean

    sorry to derail your point.
    (Im an ass)

  • facekickin

    whaaat? no staff sgt. max fightmaster?

  • Christine

    My favorite has always been Dick Butkus although you guys came up with some good ones too. Also, my brother had a teacher named Yousuk.

  • Kreachure

    Wow, what a quirky collection of wacky names.

    It’s like some of these said to themselves “Hey, you know what? My name’s so wacky, I’m just gonna go and follow a career that embraces the wackiness of my name and makes me and my name even more ridiculous!”

  • Kreachure

    PS. Why do so many of these names sound like they belong to a porn star?? :P

  • Mortivore

    Because I’m most of them lead a double life. Funny named, average person by day, porn star by night. Muhahahaha!

  • Sgt. Batguano

    The world of sports is an endless source entertainment:

    De’Cody Fagg Football Florida State
    Lucius Pusey Football Eastern Illinios University (later changed last name to Seymour)
    God Shamgod Basketball Providence University
    Dick Pound former president of the World Anti Doping Agnecy
    Sir Valient Brown Basketball George Washington University
    Bob Walk Pitcher Pittsburgh Pirates

    The Arkansas Razorback football team is in a league of their own with Houston Nutt (Coach), Robert Johnson (QB), and Casey Dick (QB). You can imagine the headlines whenever Nutt started Johnson over Dick. Google images has a picture of Arkansas players Clarke Moore, Brett Goode and Casey Dick hanging out on the sidelines (Moore Goode Dick).

  • Rockdoc

    Two amusing recollections from high school. I knew a girl with the rare name of Fern Gold. Nothing too odd about that but my best man told me he went to a different school with a girl named Fern Silver.
    Another unfortunate high school girl was named Susan Will.

  • Kristan

    Best one I’ve got from my own experience is a guy that works for my company…
    His name is Richard, but CHOOSES to go by Dick…

    Dick Bagg…

    And to make it slightly better, his middle initial is “T.”

    Thus, his business card says “Dick T. Bagg”
    First time he said his name when I answered the phone – I laughed – then felt bad…

  • noypi

    #19 it should be Filipino and not ‘Pilipino’.

  • mattayeaux

    I know a Susan Will, It is her married name. Her maiden name was May.

    We also have a man that lives here his name is Royal A. Hohl. I understand he has a brother named Rusty but, have never met him.

  • stevenh

    Many year ago there was an employee of TIME magazine listed in the masthead (I do not recall her job title)…

    Mini Magazine

    Accoring to a letter to the editor & response (apparently I was not the only reader always looking for her name), it was a legit item.

  • SamBam

    Ive been reading listverse for awhile now but i finally decided I had to comment when I saw the name Ima Hogg. My Grandma went to school with a girl named Ima Hogg and always told stories about her, i can only assume this is the same woman. My dad also had a girl in his youth group (the daughter of his minister) named Perkey Hooker.

    Thanks Listverse you are an awsome site.

  • Cedestra

    1. Yes, people, there were names left off, names that were featured on a list. Sgt. Max Fightmaster was one of them.
    2. When Jamie gets around to it (probably when he gets up or is less busy) he will take care of the “Pilipino-Filipino” error. Chill.
    re: Pilot Inspektor: Also featured on another list, I thought it was atrocious, along with all the other names compiled on that list. When will celebrities learn?
    In Bridgton, ME, there is a chiropractor names “Dr. Scott Popp”. I’ve also seen a Dr. Barry Straw in a Massachusetts doctor directory (read it as you would in a telephone book). My co-worker was recently telling me about the Hunts, Mike and Carrie, whom he went to school with.
    Then there are all those wonderful names Bart calls Moe’s Tavern with in the Simpsons.

  • Fixed the spelling mistake in 19 – sorry about that.

    I am glad to see everyone is enjoying this light hearted list :)

  • Cedestra

    Oh, and I also went to school with a Kari (real first name Aldebaran), a McKenzie, a Keegan, a Fallon, and a Pepsi.

  • #64. Mr.Clean
    sorry to derail your point.
    (Im an ass)
    You are certainly not an ass. You were correcting an error.
    This is of incredibly minor importance; just a fun filled list.

  • Brickhouse

    This is a fun list! I know of someone whose first name is Princess Stephanie… I work in a business office and she calls in quite a bit. It’s interesting to hear her name being said. :)

  • kiwiboi

    Well, the Brits amongst us will get this one : The Times newspaper has a reporter with the improbable name of Roger Boyes :)

  • G_reg71

    I knew a girl in school who’s name was Janel Janell.

  • G_reg71

    I also knew a kid named Beer but i can’t remember his last name.

  • postman

    What about Mini Driver??
    Or Hugh Ghass or anyone unfortunate to be called Richard Head.
    BTW my comment about Master Bates was a joke:)

  • Jb

    funny list.

    their lives and achievements reminds me of a fictional character and his song….
    “Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier…”

  • copperdragon

    Yes – Tiger Woods’ real name is Eldrick, but most people dont know that. To them his name is Tiger. Plus, as a golfer, having the last name of Woods (the longest golf club) is unusually appropriate.

    Therefore I give you – Tiger Woods!

    I also agree with honorable mentions:
    Dick Trickle (race car driver)
    Dick Butkus (NFL player)
    Moon Unit Zappa (musician)
    Picabo Street (skier, pronounced “peek-a-boo”)

  • BishopWhiteT

    Deep Roy (actor) should get an HM, just for being a cool guy.

    A couple of other personal ones…

    My ex-mother-in-law had a foot dr named Dr Sorto
    and I went to high shool with a guy named Greg Weiser, who had a father named, (honestly) Bud

    Oh yeah and there’s a tv producer named Harley Tat, I always found that one funny.

  • Mr.Clean

    I once knew a girl whos name was Mary chirs smith

  • The Only Sane One

    Lol Cardinal Sin that’s great.

  • JayArr

    I can’t believe you got “Ima Hogg” and forgot “Ura Belcher”!!!

  • JayArr

    Oh, I went to school with one “Regina Big Beaver” (she pronounced the ‘i’ long, as in eye). How cool is that? ;)

    Our math teacher in 9th grade was “Fletch Walking Eagle” – man what a mean guy!

  • kris

    My grandma’s name is nice one Naomi
    My brother wife who is an Indian her name is Priya-means Darling hehehe… I call her Pree
    My Hindi teacher’s name is Pavan… which means wind or they have wind god just like they have every gods it seems…so funny…

  • kris

    oops that was suppose to be brother’s wife… i mean Andrew’s wife

  • Angelina

    Growing up, I went to a dentist named Dr. Gum. I also know brothers named Sunny and Rocky Beach. . . no lie!

    Great list! :-)

  • S.D.Schaffer

    A few of my favorites from the NCAA basketball tournament:
    Fennis Dembo (Wyoming) and Baskerville Holmes (Memphis).

  • Rolo Tomasi

    There was a basketball player named Scientific Mapp
    Another bball player named God Shamgod

    A former asian client of mine named Chun Ki-Dik

  • Rolo Tomasi

    O and when I went to Catholic School the head nun was Sister Virginelle

  • milton bradley
    coco crisp
    chad ocho cinco haha

  • Chun Ki-Dik

    Yes, my name is chun ki-dik, like in the past comment right before me. please be notified of the following comment.

    There is Chun Wang. There is Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is a chunky dick. get it?


    I’ll be here all week.

    ttttttttt-tttttttt tzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Ren

    A cop named officer Slater arrested a man-lady who was legally named Fuck. He was Vietnamese and it was spelled with a Ph but it was still pretty suprising to see it on a driver’s license.

  • joebecca

    LOL AT #37, i’m from MI too, and that is a total true story. They named their kid Joseph Louis Arena. Some people and their sports i guess..

  • Chun Ki-Dik

    Also, remembering Chun Wang. I did not elaborate on that. Here it is:

    Chun = Chunky

    Wang = Chinese word for DICK.

    Chun + Wang = Chunky Dick.


    I’ll be here all week.

    tttttttttt-ttttttttttt tzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Mr.Clean

    chun ki-dik,
    The chinese word for pinis is either diao, liao, yang dao or yin jing.


  • Mr.Clean

    sorry… penis

  • One item I almost forgot to add…I once worked with a woman who’s name was Kim.
    Not Kimberley, Kim. Her husband’s name was also Kim. Let’s say their last name was Cooper.
    Most couples are referred to by their last names; the Smith’s, the Jones’, etc., but I always referred to them as the Kims Cooper.

  • Mr.Clean

    I work with a guy whos name is pronounced shiith-heed but his name is spelled shithead

  • Mr. Clean, I’m surprised that Chun Ki-Dik has gotten away with several posts already. Usually, trolls like this are caught and deleted before they’ve had a chance to make their mark.
    In any case, he *won’t* be here all week.

  • Phender_Bender

    Postman #85- In the Denver Post a while back there was a picture of a cop whose name was, and I kid you not, Richard Head. I still have the picture clipped out and am thinking of uploading it. Could you imagine the crap this poor cop must get?

  • Cdavis

    Cool list. Why is chuck long on the list. Because he was a quarterback? Down south we say “chunk” to indicate throw. Anyway, what about the Hockey player Satan who played for the NJ Devils. Car driver Dick Trickle and Bear Dick Butkus were schoolyard fodder as well back in the day.

  • Egg

    Apparently, Cardinal used to joke and say “Welcome to the house of Sin”. Gotta love a religious guy with a sense of humour.

  • fail

    Learn some grammar.”Bizarre” and “unusual” mean the same thing so it’s pointless to use them both.

  • SamBam

    I just remembered another name my friend David jenks Bohner, it was originally prenounced Boner but his family changed it.

  • SamBam

    Sorry for the double post but whats with the advertisements with sound they scare the hell out of me when im not ready for them.

  • Clantargh

    There was an NFL player named Cliff Branch which always made me think of those cartoons where someone held on to a branch to keep from falling to their death. And there was an artist from Wales I think named Richard Short who must have had fun growing up with that nickname. Also a pitcher for the Astros was named Mark Lemongello (alas no battery mate named Fred Chocolatepudding).

  • anthony p

    Hmmmmm thought Usain Bolt would have made the list, ya know fast as a bolt of lightning…….just me then?

  • dime138

    I’m glad Hawkeye legend Chuck Long made the list. However, I’m a little surprised to see no Dick Butkus. Just typing his name makes me feel dirty.

  • SamBam: where was the ad with the sound?

  • minime

    when i was in university, i used to know some of the girl with strange name which are, Oli Oliya and Shah Frust.

  • SamBam

    jfrater: I cant remember the name they are the ones that play video’s though. I post the name if I see it again.

  • Clantargh

    celebrities are always good for giving odd names to their children, while they may not be well known here are a few good ones, Nicolas Cage named his son Kal-El (Superman’s name on Krypton), Jermaine Jackson has a son Jermajesty, Frank Zappa has children Moon Unit, Dweezil, and Diva Muffin. Arthur Ashe had a daughter Camera. And Bob Geldof named his daughter Fifi Trixibell.

  • Mammzuchi

    113. fail consider the URL’s below

    Consider that depending on which part of the world you in a certain word can be favored over another for a localiSed flavoUr.

    Bizarre can emphasize the unusual.


    You have small man syndrome = possibly unusual
    You have small man syndrome and your name is Manny Small = possibly bizarre

  • Samos

    My wife had a OB/GYN named Dr Dick. I also met a priest a few years ago who’s surname was Christmas… Father Christmas

  • Perx

    Hey, everyone forgot about dick pound?

    isn’t it strange, that people seem to live up to their name, as mr. crapper and mr. breedlove, they did things related with their names

  • Greg

    heh, I went to school with a girl named Anita Geronimo. It gets better: her half-sister? Also named Anita. Anita Hardy.

  • astraya

    Off-topic: last night I had a dream in which a number of LU people got together in real (dream) life to talk about things relating to the site and also to real (dream) life. We all got on very well. The only person I put a name to was segue, but the segue of my dream obviously wasn’t the segue of real life, being a different age and state of health, but you know how it is when something in a dream “is”, contrary to real (real) life.
    Just in case the large hadron collider causes the world to end not with a whimper but with a bang, I’ll take the opportunity to say what an honour and delight it’s been to be here with you, and I’m glad this list was a fun one. Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I worry about global warming, too.

    On-topic: 30 years ago a borrowed a library book called something like “Strange names of real people”. It included some of these people, but other ones I remember were a gynacologist called Dr Ovary, a British woman called Amelia de Horsey-Horsey and a Turkish man called Mustafa Kunt. I searched for that last name last night, and it does exist.
    South Korea has had two policitians whose name was sometimes rendered as Bum Suk Lee. The better transliteration is Beom Suk Lee. Either way, the pronunciation is closer to “Bom Sook”. (Korean doesn’t have the short “u” as in “bum” or “suck”. My co-teacher sometimes says “(real name), have you had raunch yet?”)

  • heatherrr.

    MAX PLANCK!!!!

    and let’s not forget the ever popular coco crisp!!

  • schiesl

    whoa! Where is Dick Trickle, or Coco Crisp, or Milton Bradley! or my favorite “Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee” Jason Lee’s kid

  • qwerty_man

    dude i know a bunch of other names like that such as, Johnny Dickshot, Dick Pole, and Coco Crisp. (they are all baseball players)

  • Savanti Romero

    What of (American) Football player Chaz Ocho Cinco?

  • 127. astraya…The only person I put a name to was segue…
    astraya, when I read that, I felt deeply honored.
    I don’t know why, but it just felt as if we had connected somehow, and that was a good feeling.
    I am not worried about the LHC. The scientists running the thing are starting in very small steps. I think that if something felt wrong to them, if the experiments weren’t going well, they’d back off until they had figured out what was wrong. They certainly don’t want to suck the universe into a gigantic black hole, that would be fairly counter-productive!

    Oh! Back on topic. In my dad’s school, there was a family whose last name was Budd. All the girls had flower names, Rose Budd, Pansy Budd, Daisy Budd, Petunia Budd, the only son was named (you guessed it!), Billy Budd!

  • astraya

    Another one: Bill Lear, founder of Lear Jets, named his daughter Shanda. (“Crystal Chanda” and “Gonda” are urban legends.)

  • FlockO’Seagulls

    Thanks for taking up for me about suggesting Tiger Woods. A realtor near here had a billboard on the interstate for years that read: “Dick Longing Real Estate.” It got publicized on Jay Leno, and the company’s name was soon changed to “Henley Longing Real Estate.”

  • Ryan

    Haha funny list. I knew this kid at my highschool who was named Dusty Treye.

  • i like #8!

  • Glitterina

    I knew a guy in high school whose name was MacGregor MacGruder.
    And in Tucson years ago there was a sign out in front of a suite of doctors offices that proclaimed an optomotrist named Barton Fink.

  • poopymcpoopsalot

    I’ve seen better.

  • jazjsmom

    There was this girl I played soccer with when I was a little girl and her name was Summer Rains. I thought that was pretty. But, it was really funny at the same time.

  • Rising Falls

    What about Batman bin Suparman of Singapore?

  • astraya

    I wonder if Tiger Woods has ever played golf with Jeremy Irons and Minnie Driver. hahahaha!

  • krchuk

    I knew of a girl years ago named Nova Gina. Seriously. (Oh, and she got badly teased, especially by all the boys)

  • rargh

    I went to school with a girl named Coral Sieh (pronounced “sea”), and a Misty Bliss. My husband went to school with a Velvet Schocke.

  • rargh

    OH! I forgot Ronald McDonald III. That’s right, his dad and his grandpa have that name too.

  • Johandus Maximus

    A guy I went to uni with played australian football with a bloke named “Wayne King” (that was his orginal birth name, unaltered).

    The bloke named Wayne couldn’t sign up to Facebook because the website automatically rejected the name to prevent lame jokes (“not a consented username” or something along those lines).

    Anyway, he finally got approval and was able to become a sheep like the rest of us. I love happy endings =D

  • Yondofan12

    Chad Ocho cinco

  • PO

    I actually live in the small east Texas town where James Hogg and his wife gave birth to Ima Hogg. There’s a small state park in town that preserves their actual house.

  • Anderi

    I remember an awesome Top 10 list on Letterman a few years back called “Top Ten Names In Colorado” or something or other because he had a Colorado tour group in the audience.

    He showed their driver’s licenses and everything to prove that’s what their names really were.

    No.1… DICK SMOKER!

    Also, I used to work with a Dianne Kneebone and a Phil Raper…

  • TMX

    To the people saying Coco Crisp, you do realize Coco is not his real first name, right? His real name is Covelli Crisp.

    From personal experience, I have a friend whose mother works with a guy named Richard Zucker. You think he’d chose Rich, but nope… he likes to be called Dick. I have another friend who knew a guy named Chip Salsa.

    Also, I believe Molly Shannon of SNL fame is married to an artist named Fritz Chestnut. If I ever need to use a psuedonym to check into a hotel, Fritz Chestnut would probably be my first choice.

  • TMX

    The fact that I just remembered another one is quite ironic. There is the former French tennis player Guy Forget.

  • astraya

    I played junior soccer with a Wayne Kerr (who was English, by the way). We were too young to see anything funny in it, though.
    My surname is the same as a famous car company. When we left one town, the three families leaving at the same time all had car-related names. In the town we moved to, my father’s employer provided him with a car bearing the same name as us. My primary school friends thought it was so funny!!!! It might have been for a week or two, but it wore off after that.

  • Johandus Maximus

    149. TMX – personally if I ever need to use a pseudonym to check into a hotel I’ll steal Matt Damon’s idea and call myself John President, so all the staff have to refer to me as “Mr. President”

    oh the mirth

  • Maggot

    To those that keep mentioning Chad Ocho Cinco: That is not his original birth name, which is a qualifier specified (well, implied) in the list intro.

  • scene

    tupac shakur amaru

  • Anon

    Initials can add a nice touch too.

    When I was a kid and used to go along and watch our soccer tean regularly, we were visited by Bolton Wanderers annually. For a long time they had a centre-half called called Malcolm Barrass, or Em Barrass, if you like. I wonder if his parents realised?

  • Anon

    I also used to hate a tax inspector who would send me demands with his name printed out at the bottom: I. M. Laffin. I bet he was, the rotten sod!

  • wetfart

    i have a friend name Ben Dover.


  • schiesl

    lol wayne kerr, lol

  • hallowedbethyname

    great list^^ i agree that cardinal sin has a kinda weird name.
    when he was our cardinal i used to ask if he committed sins too ^^

  • Anon

    My parents and I were once lucky enough to get free tickets for the Wimbledon Centre Court during one of the early days of the competition. At that time there was a Welsh player called Gerald Battrick, often known as Gerry. I suspect it was some wag among the Wimbledon staff, probably a disillusioned British tennis fan, who left off the initial ‘B’ of the surname on the scoreboard, hence: Gerry Attrick. Poor Gerry did indeed lose his tie that day.

  • mattofutexas

    In my hometown of Arlington, TX, there’s a Doctor Doctor about two blocks away from my house, been seeing that for 19 years of my life. Google it, should come up, I know him too.

  • astraya

    Years ago I saw a Two Ronnies sketch set in an airport lounge. The PA announcer pages a number of people with increasingly improbable names (the one I remember was “Admiral Sir Compost-Heap”). Various extras make increasingly lame excuses to absent themselves (the admiral said “I think I’ll take a turn around the quarter-deck”) to cover up that that’s really their name, while the two Ronnies make sarcastic comments about them and their names. Finally, Ronnie B’s character’s name is called. (I found by searching last night that the name is “Alderman Fatpimple”. I didn’t remember that.) Ronnie C glares at him. RB says, “All right, I admit it. I am Alderman Fatpimple”. As he turns to leave, he bumps his leg on a table and says “Knickers!”. RC says “Yes?” (ie his name is “Knickers”.)

    Earlier this year, I thought about doing a list like this. I found a site where people submit strange names. I have no idea what it was. There is a wiki article:

  • cass

    I just remembered one – Olympic swimmer Misty Hymen. Gold.

    And I know a guy called Richard Hunt. Now shorten Richard to Dick and say his name 3 times quick.

  • Anon


    The Two Ronnies was wonderful. Up there with Morecombe and Wise.

    One of my favourite remembered cartoons, I think from *Private Eye*, kind of ties in with this theme.

    King Canute has placed his throne on sea-shore. As is well known to students of British history, he did this to demonstrate that his powers were not even sufficient to stop the tide reaching him. The water is swirling around his legs and robes. Behind his back one courtier remarks sotto-voce to another, “Silly Cnut”.

  • Anon

    astraya, (127),

    Having spent a considerable amount of time in Turkey both for work and pleasure, I can tell you that one its many delights (Turkish), especially when travelling with one’s (new first) wife, is to come across a large wayside billboard proclaiming “Ufuk Kunt Oteli”.

  • Denzell

    Thanks for including someone from the Philippines in this list!

    Haha, anyway, I find the F**ker one hilarious…!!!

  • Denzell

    Name suggestions for your children!

    Ima Littel
    Tee Pott
    Shoret Ed Stowte…

    Hugh Jazz
    Ashe Ole
    Dan Druff
    Moby Dick
    Ms. For Chun
    Wally Dregg (wallydrag!)
    Ihave Noname (sounds Japanese but look closely.)
    Minnie S. Kurt (miniskirt!)

    Anyway, why not make a list called “Unfortunate Human Names?”

  • McSquida

    Don’t forget Gregor Fucka, the Italian basketball player. I was so excited (well, I was 16!) when I saw his name appear on the screen at the Sydney Olympics when the Australian team was playing Italy. Then the announcer was calling out the teams, and then he said: “Fushka”.

    Most disappointing moment of my life.

  • astraya

    There was a French rubgy player named Condom. I think he played in defence – he always had the opposition covered.
    There is a town in France called Condom. Reports about the Monty Python spin-off Not the Messiah all mention that the work was conceived there. (The composer lived there and Eric Idle went to work with him there.) (I may need to rephrase that, but you know what I mean.)

  • champ#24

    Rip Torn :) u forget that actor

  • steve d

    There’s a funeral home near me in Philadelphia, owned by John R. Deady.

    A friend has a niece named Immaculata Gatta.

    What about PacMan Jones?

  • GPinLV

    There have been some terrific names in college basketball through the years. Here a few that come to mind –
    (these are actual names, on birth certificates, not nicknames)

    *Scientific Mapp
    *Majestic Mapp
    *Souvenir Callwood (so named because he was conceived while his parents were on vacation in the Carribbean – making him a “souvenir” of their vacation)
    *Baskerville Holmes
    *H Waldman (the H wasn’t short for anything, the single letter was his first name)
    *Exree Hipp
    *God Shammgod
    *Duany Duany

    There are more, but those are off the top of my head…

  • Cookster

    Jaime “Cardinal” Sin

    I remember a billboard honoring him when he died…

    “Remember the Greatest Sin of all…”

  • Aliek

    Don’t know if it’s been mentioned, but the Belgian football (soccer) player called ….. Mark De Man, and he plays in defense!!!

  • Maggot

    171 steve d “What about PacMan Jones?”

    That is a nickname, it’s not even a legally changed-to name al la Ocho Cinco. His actual name is Adam Jones.

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  • blackfoot

    Magnus Ver Magnusson

    Strong Man champion for, like, 3yrs straight.

  • trojan_man

    What about the PGA pro golfer Mike Weir. Say that fast.

    Also, near where I live, the Property Appraiser has a name that she actually married in to: Sharon Cox.

  • Anon

    I particularly enjoyed all the perhaps inevitable puns surrounding Cardinal Sin. It occurs to me that a good bilingual pun could have been forthcoming in the event he had a repeating double-barrelled name, Cardinal Sin-Sin, as *sin* means without in Spanish.

    That brings to mind the famous apocryphal Latin one word pun the English General Napier was supposed to have sent as a message to his superior after capturing an Indian province: “Peccavi” (= “I have Sindh”/*sinned*).

  • astraya

    All my sisters married men with names that might give rise to puns of increasing naughtiness, but all of them resisted the temptation. One almost (inadvertantly) gave a child a name embarrassingly similar to a well-known product in Australia. Luckily, they were chatting with friends about possible names, mentioned it and the friends said “Oh, no, you can’t call him that”.

  • 178. Anon…That brings to mind the famous apocryphal Latin one word pun the English General Napier was supposed to have sent as a message to his superior after capturing an Indian province: “Peccavi” (= “I have Sindh”/*sinned*).
    Much funnier than the more formal mea culpa.


    My father had a friend who’s name was -UNO URPI-Pronounced ‘YOU KNOW–YOUR PEE’

  • Recluse

    I used to work for a company with a Ron Reagan and John Anderson (they went to vote at the same poling place in 1980), Ronald McDonald, and my favorite, Loveday Conquest. Ms. Conquest has a brother with a great name but I can’t remember it.

    My favorite name gag was Nicholas Cage’s SLN skit in which he is a guy whose name is pronounces aaaz-weep-aaa, but it’s not spelled that way. In the skit, he is frustrated by packages addressed to Mr. A**wipe.

  • Natalie

    I read an article once about a boy called Drew Peacock.
    What WAS his parents thinking? =P
    I feel sorry for the poor kid.

  • Joanie Girl

    My sister delivered mail for a “Paul Bastard” now that was funny..

  • There is a fabulously funny British show, Keeping Up Appearances, wherein the female lead is named (on the show) Hyacinth Bucket, but insists everyone pronounce it Bouquet.
    Hyacinth Bouquet.
    Anyway, it’s a screamingly funny show (if you have a taste for Brit humor), and I strongly suggest you find it and watch it.

  • BishopWhiteT

    I can’t believe I didn’t think to mention my boss, Rusty Johnson, and yes he’s an older gentleman

    Also, there’s a hospital near here named Robert H. Dedman Memorial Hospital

  • astraya

    There was another Brit-com with a character named Bastard, but he pronounced it “b’STARd”.

  • Mikerodz

    Reading comments from this list, I realized that that we have lot of friends from Philippines.

  • Anon

    segue and astraya,

    Brits have a great penchant for that sort of carefully evasive pronunciation. In fact the pronunciation is usually correct as to the origin, the appearance deceptive.

    Onions = O’Nions (Oh nyons)

    Death = De Ath (Duh arth)

    However, if you are unfortunate enough to be a Longbottom, you are certain to end up getting nicknamed *Short Arse*.

    And Heaven help a little girl of any Mr and Mrs Adams if they were careless enough to christen her Frances. Sweet it would not be!

    Natural History field explorers working in teams combine two or three surnames when providing labels for their collected specimens. For example it might be (imaginary) Banks, Darwin & Hooker (B.D.H.). At one time during my career there were, sadly working in totally different study areas, botanists called Mr Bacon, Miss Onions and Mr Beer. The The Bacon, Onions & Beer (B.O.B.) Expedition would have been so wonderful!

  • astraya

    There is a man at my church in Sydney with the surname of Beer. His nickname is “Frothy”.
    There is a man involved in opera in Australia called Brian Castles-Onion. (Yes, really.) He introduced himself to an interviewer as “Many castles, one onion”.

  • Corbyjane
  • k1w1taxi

    While we are being somewhat scatological how about the St Louis Cards player Albert Pujols (originally from the Dominican Republic therfore the j is pronounced h)


  • Sowhat

    Come on Mr. Clean, knock it off. If you feel the urge to enlighten us with your knowledge, and drive-by embarrasing the guy; you need to get a gripe. He’s just expressed what he was told! Who cares if his father was a medical corpsman, a hospital corpsman or Wendy’s CEO, this does not change anything for anybody. His father was the wonderful man he remembers and that should be that

  • NikPG

    There is a cricketer by the name of Napoleon Einstein!! check his profile out at cric info

  • NikPG

    How about Cox & Kings the famous travel house???

  • ligeia

    On the subject of people’s careers being related to their career (like numbers 3 and 4): my boyfriend’s surname is Geelon. When I met him I’d never even heard of the name and he didn’t know where it came from. After some research we learned that it is the Anglicised version of the Dutch name Van Geel meaning ‘from (the town of) Geel’. The town is associated with the Irish saint Dymphna, who amongst other things is the patron saint of mental health. My boyfriend just finished studying for a masters in psychoanalysis.

  • Melclev

    I had a friend just out of high school named Ona Lim. :D

  • drogo

    In response to segue’s #185 comment:

    Oh That poor Richard, that poor, poor Richard! (hahaha)

    and poor Emmett (“She’ll sing at me!”) and Elizabeth.

  • astraya

    “astraya, (127),

    Having spent a considerable amount of time in Turkey both for work and pleasure, I can tell you that one its many delights (Turkish), especially when travelling with one’s (new first) wife, is to come across a large wayside billboard proclaiming “Ufuk Kunt Oteli”.”

    Oteli – that’s so funny!!!!

  • stugy

    This reminds me of my college adviser’s name: Bette Counsellor

  • 193. Sowhat, thank you for your support, it was very nice of you and I deeply appreciate it, but Mr. Clean and I worked all that out nicely between ourselves.
    My dad was a great guy, spent the entire WW2 in the Pacific theater, so saw some truly horrendous action, but was also lucky enough to be on the boat beside the one on which the formal Japanese surrender took place.
    I still have his photos, taken with his little Leica, of the event.
    He was part of the original occupying force.
    I could fill a book…
    BTW, I’m not a “guy”, I’m lucky enough to be a woman.

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  • Mikerodz

    segue, you’re not a “guy”? ewwwwww……….

  • rargh

    My husband mentioned another one: philosopher Lucious T. Outlaw. It’s almost as cool as Learned Hand.

  • dave4248

    #11 Rusty Kuntz. I remember that guy from the summer of ’84. He was a hell of a ballplayer. He had only about 25 RBIs but I think at least 20 of ’em came in the late innings when the game was tied or the Tigers were down by a run. He had icewater in his veins when put in a pressure situation.

  • rubysp

    I remember coming across an article that said Americans banned parents from naming their kid ‘superman’

    #184: ahaha!! Paul Bastard indeed. Poor bloke

  • #202. Mikerodz
    segue, you’re not a “guy”? ewwwwww……….
    Remarkably mature reaction.

  • StinkyTheCat

    swear to god. there’s a guy in my city named Harry Weiner. :( to make matters worse, he was a teacher. poor guy. AND he was listed in the phone book. (under his full name.)

  • Gabsz

    my name should be on this list..
    Milady Gabrielle Christine Castleberry-Gordon
    thats pretty fantastical lolz

  • Melina

    My name isn’t like anything funny but I think its cool; Melina Roxanne Kraft.
    Also, I know of this kid whose name is Justin Case.haha.

  • Tomo

    A quarterback called Chuck Long, a poker player called Moneymaker? R u kidding me?

    Just goes to show how a name affects a person’s personality traits.

    Great idea for a list.

  • Saul Good

    There’s a wrestler with the nickname, but I also know a guy named “Dusty Rhodes”. I also know a woman named “Windy Gale”.

  • JabberingJanet

    Looking through the phone book a while back I saw a guy named”Izzy Stoned”.

  • Drogo

    I had a teacher whose last name was Uhrin. That’s a long “U” a silent “H” then “rin”. I’m not fond of my own last name but at least it doesn’t sound like urine.

    I was told that my last name means “Guy who sells hemp for making rope” in it’s native language, but I’m not sure about the validity of the source. The word is only two syllables long.

  • A

    What about that Peekaboo Street from the Olympics a feww years ago? That should be on here!

  • bob

    my vote goes to Rusty Kuntz…best name ever

  • bob

    ps…I have a cousin named Mike Hunt…haha. Seriously though, what were they thinking?!?

  • bob

    there was this guy i used to prank call in high school named Peter Geek, he always answered the phone with “Geek speaking”…haha…I think he actually spelled his name “Geak”, but still pretty hilarious to a 15 year old

  • Nyomi

    I know someone called Isaac Cox so….
    And a lady on family fortunes was called Gaye Cummings

  • Ivan

    in indonesia we had ‘dicky’ and yusak (prounounced as ‘you-suck’) as a common name lol :D

  • astraya

    I have just stumbled across a refence to a Zimbabwean politician (now deceased) called Ndabaningi Sithole. His surname might be pronounced “sith-ole”, but might also be “sit-hole”. I keep imagining another “h” for some reason.

  • deliciousdanger

    These are all very unfortunate indeed….

  • Lil Nic

    Well, the Brits amongst us will get this one : The Times newspaper has a reporter with the improbable name of Roger Boyes

    lol, as a brit myself, that is unlucky!

  • bopfan

    there is a urologist in Toledo, Ohio named Richard Tapper. Dick Tapper.

  • Melina

    222 Lil Nic-
    I want to be in on it! I’m a “stupid U.S. citizen” and I don’t get the joke. Would you kindly explain it to me, as I’m intrested in european (and every other) culture? Thanks!

  • astraya

    Lil Nic: I’m Australian, and I “get it”, so to speak. What if his mother’s maiden name was “Little”, and he’d been given a hyphenated surname?
    Melina: You don’t want to know.

  • Melina

    Does it have something to do with a scrotum and/or testes?
    I feel left out… :(

  • Melina, trust me, you’re better off with your neiveté in tact.

  • Anon


    Oh, go on, tell her, do. Her imagination is going run amuk otherwise, and Who Knows what will get printed here as the wondering gets ever wilder!

  • Anon, she’ll never guess what it really means, now will she? And if I tell her I could get kicked off for being really, really offensive.

    …and I just noticed I misspelled intact.

  • Cyn

    segue…oh…do tell. (having already googled Brit slang for ‘roger’)

    now as a phrase..i’m not sure. so please enlighten.


    kicked off for being offensive? ROFLMAO!!

  • kiwiboi

    Cyn – to “roger” someone is to shag/screw them; but in a schoolboy-ish sense. You might hear “I’d like to give her a good rogering” or similar.

    I’ve chuckled to myself for years whenever I’ve come across a story written by Roger Boyes (the British journalist).

  • Cyn

    it was the schoolboy-sense that had me. ;)
    assuming it meant inept? LOL
    as in a lousy screw? LOL
    or simply over eager? LOL

  • logar

    Is that the origin of the “Jolly Roger”? Just curious!

  • kiwiboi

    Cyn – when I say in a “schoolboy-ish sense”, I mean that you would hear schoolboys/youths use it more often than others (though it is used by all ages).

    Nothing to do with ineptitude etc.

    Here’s an example used on a website referring to the Conservative leader David Cameron (2nd sentence) :

  • kiwiboi

    Is that the origin of the “Jolly Roger”?

    logar – doubtful. See this :

  • kiwiboi, thank you for saving me from having to explain it myself! I rarely get embarrassed, but was becoming more and more so over this…even Anon egging me on, for shame!…and Roger Boyes, well, jeeze…we’re getting into weird territory here.
    Anyway, again, THANK YOU!!

  • kiwiboi

    segue – think nothing of it; I started it (#82); so it’s only fair I finish it. Having said this, if I’d realised that Anon was gently egging you on, I’s have happily joined in the fun and awaited your explanation ;)

  • Cyn

    kiwiboi –
    ROFLMAO! ;)

  • Great, a Brit and a Kiwi punishing me because I know a few naughty words in proper (or, rather, unproper proper) English!
    I did learn a few things from my dear, departed Uncle Tom (he of the off-track bookie world, “vote early and often”, Uncle Tom). He’d give me tuppence to take his pail to the pub for a couple of pints (actually, the tuppence was for my silence, so that my mum would never know)…why the pubman would sell beer to a child is still a mystery to me…but he’d never bother to clean up his language around me, and would cheerfully explain any time I’d ask what something meant. I also learnt what *not* to repeat in front of my mum or the nuns (except by accident!)

  • Melina

    Hahaha! I get it now. haha thats really funny…

  • Antonia

    what about Plaxico Burress from the New York (football) Giants?
    Doesnt his first name remind you of gasoline and moutwash combined?

  • kiwiboi

    Hahaha! I get it now. haha thats really funny…

    Melina – we aim to please :)

  • kiwiboi

    he’d never bother to clean up his language around me, and would cheerfully explain any time I’d ask what something meant. I also learnt what *not* to repeat in front of my mum or the nuns (except by accident!

    segue – I had a similar relationship with my grandfather, and can still remember the icy stare my grandmother gave him one winter’s day when I (being 9 years old) confidently informed her that it was “as cold as a whore’s heart” outdoors….

  • badger_x

    I know a guy called Phillip Phillips. No joke.

  • 243. kiwiboi…I (being 9 years old) confidently informed her that it was “as cold as a whore’s heart” outdoors….
    ahhhhh, yes, my own version, learnt at Uncle Tom’s ever knowledgeable knee, and repeated for my kindergarten nun’s delicate ears, was “colder than a witch’s tit”.
    That one got me caned, I can tell you! My knuckles have never been the same.

  • 244. badger_x, and I know a Billy Bob Williams! Full name, not nick names.
    There was a kid who lived, briefly, next door to me when I was 8 or 9 who was named Sargent Majors.
    It’s just wacky what some parents will name their children.

  • cate

    A good one is a Detroit Lion football player whose name is Harry Colon. There was also a TV producer with the name of Bud Weiser. Dick Trickle is a good one. There was a kid I knew whose name is Ethan Allen House. Some people should not be allowed to name children.

  • misselaineous

    I have friends named Jette Black, Libby Bean and Bambi Cox. Parents can be so cruel….

  • Joey11y

    I knew of two guys in Junior high. The first guys name was Ben Gay, and he was best friends with a guy named John Bobbit. LOL I felt so bad for those two because they were constantly teased about their names. Hopefully High School was kinder to them, but I doubt it.

  • Lynn in Oregon

    I know of a man named Richard Nibbler, do you think he goes by Dick?

  • Pingback: Listverse « a sad waste of brains()

  • Anon

    Just remembered one my former brother-in-law pointed out to me long ago.

    A rather obscure orchestral conductor with the unfortunate name of Ernest Bohr.

  • astraya

    A couple of days ago on wikipedia there was a mention of a US district court judge named Barefoot Sanders. His full name was Harold Barefoot Sanders. I assume that “Barefoot” was a (maternal?) ancestral name. His minor place in history was that he organised a federal court judge to adminster the presidential oath to LBJ.

  • 252. astraya…His minor place in history was that he organised a federal court judge to adminster the presidential oath to LBJ.
    That scene, LBJ taking the oath of office onboard AirForce One, is a scene burned into my brain. Standing just slightly behind him to his right, still dressed in her blood and brain splattered pink suit, a look of blank incomprehension on her face, Jackie Kennedy, head bowed as if too heavy to hold up any longer.
    The look on LBJ’s face was one of sombre, fierce, success.
    I hated that man from that moment. I never changed my mind.

  • juleigh

    I know of a urologist named Dr. Leak. I find this absolutely hilarious.
    I went to school with a guy named Andy Proctor. But as far as I know he didn’t become a proctologist. Too bad.

  • Anon

    According to a website on genealogy, 2196 parents with the surname Sucker have named their sons Richard.

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

  • That’s 2196 people who should never have had children.

  • astraya

    Well, if all the sons are now Dick Suckers, they won’t have any children!

  • Chrissy

    My moms a nurse and got twin boys ones name was lemonjello and the others name was orangejello.. lemon and orange jello

  • Lea

    My sixth period Math Teacher was named Mr.James Six.

  • wacaroo

    In grade 4 our teachers were Mrs Wilde and Mrs Payne. A girl also had a dad called Wayne Kerr.

  • diogenes is dead

    OH, well here we go! thanx Jt for sending out those vibes , as I was listening to Dick Sparks and thought I ran across a list such as yours earlier within the week and am here now in finding the list(after overlooking in the archives, thinking it was perhaps titled differently) to just simply bring up the organist DICK SPARKS.
    What made me want to mention was the inevitable pun.

    maybe another comment mentioned, i didnt read them.

  • Anon

    Just a curious but amusing very recent name curiosity. It’s the name coincidence that’s fantastical rather than the names themselves.

    The Chilean national soccer team recently faced their Argentinian counterparts in Santiago for a match in the regional 2010 World Cup qualifiers. Now over long years in the competition Chile has never beaten Argentina, a perpetual force and winner of the Cup. Neither at home nor away. Chile is doing rather well this time, and Argentina, although well within the qualifying ranks, is a bit off the boil.

    Curiously, both are managed by Argentinians. Argentina by a guy called Basile, and Chile by Bielsa. Now if you’re sharp, you may have noticed a similarity in the names. Same number of letters, and similar letters. Look harder still. They are actually anagrams of each other, made up of A-B-E-I-L-S!

    For the first time in history *David* Chile beat *Goliath* Argentina. Not only that, our heroes completely outplayed them. Bielsibub stared the Basilisk down. The latter resigned a day or so back.

    There ain’t room fer the both of them in that thar game.

  • Charlie

    #6 & #8 are funny and I snorted on #11

  • astraya

    Anon: There could be a list somewhere in the making about appropriate anagrams of people’s names! eg George Bush = He bugs Gore; William Shakespeare = I am a weakish speller! (both from the wiki article which I just looked up as a first stop)

    Chile beats Australia in tennis and Argentina in soccer?

  • Lynn in Oregon

    I went to school with a few odd named people:

    Charity Church (her sister’s names were Faith and Hope)
    Gay Walrod (female named after her father, Gale)
    Michael Hunt (he went by Mike…I kid you not)

    and my friends:

    Soul Cotton
    Dakota Whip
    Amber Blue

    I always wished for a cool name like my friends…Lynn is pretty boring in comparison.

  • Lynn, your Gay Walrod reminded me of another kid I knew growing up, a boy named Gaylord! That’s a kid who got beat up a *lot*.
    Still, of all the oddly named kids I knew, I still give first prize to Peter Ramsbottom.

  • Polly Odyssey

    I once met a guy who had Swastika for a last name. I also met someone whose last name was “Fagit”, and I also met someone named Placenta. You know, the body part.

  • YIKES! Polly, those are some bad names.
    I had a classmate, a girl, whose surname was Knipple. Her family, in embarrassment (I’m sure), pronounced the K, but it was still Ka-nipple.

  • Anon


    Sorry, I’ve not looked in here for a while. Yes, beat Australia at Davis tennis too, as you say. But don’t forget that although they’re relatively off the boil these days, our top pair were the previous singles and doubles Olympic Gold medallists. It might be worth bearing in mind that they were on home ground and also that Leyton Hewitt wasn’t representing Oz.

    Chile actually lost out in a Davis final once, and has always been able to turn in the odd class player (Rios at World Nº 1 for a short while). Still, a long way for Australia from the solid winning days of Sedgeman, Rosewall, Hoad, Laver, Cash, et al.

  • Anon

    Back on my Richard tack again.

    I wonder how many Mr and Mrs Heads have thoughtlessly named a male scion Richard? Quite a few, I’ll warrant.

  • I went to Uni with a guy named Dick Bates. We called him Master.

  • Anon


    You remind me that from school onwards, everywhere a male called Bates (and in one case a Bate) cropped up in any institution I was involved with, they inevitably got stuck with that prefix Master!

    It must wear thin though, as I appreciate. Part of my (real) name associates with a quote, a quote I have to endure endlessly. It teaches one patience in the face of monumental repetitive unoriginality. Each comedian offers it up in the sort of knowing nudge, nudge, wing, wink Pythonesque style that suggests he or she is the very first to discover and trot it out. It does at times become hard to respond politely with a fixed rictus grin though.

  • Yes, I know what you mean. “Everyman” is somehow Mr. Originality!
    My own name is (fortunately) not connected to any famous names, but when I was married to my first husband we had the same surname as a well known baseball stadium. I was continually being asked if I was part of that family.
    That got old very quickly.
    But back to Mr. Bates. In his particular case, the name suited him. He was a cad, and attempted his wiles (very poor wiles) with every pretty girl within shouting distance…no matter if they were friends and knew he was playing the one against the other!
    Luckily, when he tried it with me, my boyfriend was bigger and badder than he was.

  • Anon


    Yes, a certain Bates at school was sex-mad too. Hilarious tales circulated concerning his Rabalaisian escapades.

    The Bate of a later stage of my education was a ladies man to the eyebrows, but a very romantic and gentlemanly one, be it said. He had a penchant for clocking up foreign student nurses from a neighbouring college. When overbooked, he would generously make *the surplus* available to those with less talent for pulling talent. This led once to a scurrilous *Anon* (not guilty!) doggerel poem on the notice board which began,
    “Oh thank you kindly, Master Bate,
    At long last I’ve got a date …”

    He and I met casually once or twice down the years. True to form, he married a Danish girl and took up a good post in her country. Later still I learned through a mutual friend that tragedy struck them. He backed out the car one day and ran over and killed their toddler daughter without seeing her (alas, a regular, if very occasional form of accident).

    Our student group was smallish, under 20 guys, but in the same tragic vein I also learned later that three died of cancer between 30 and 40. Now 12-15% of a group of hitherto healthy youngish outdoor, non-smoking males departing thus is nowhere within statistical norms. Call it co-incidence if you will. I have a more sinister suspicion. The establishment was involved in advanced agri-chemical research. One morning I strolled very early along one of the trial beds and was shocked and appalled to find about a dozen recently dead assorted songbirds scattered over the grass. When I walked back about half an hour later, they had *mysteriously* disappeared. (No autopsies, please.) There is minimal doubt in my mind that this connects with the deaths of my erstwhile colleagues. Trying to make that stand up in a court of law would be quite another matter however.

    One of the victims, a delightful young man, had the most irresistibly lovely girlfriend, who certainly plucked my heartstrings, unknowingly to him and her… A young widow to be.

    A friend of the time and I took the decision to leave the course midway (for quite unrelated reasons), a seemingly risky action I have never regretted, least of all when that later news broke.

  • Ash

    Ivana Trump never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

  • astraya

    My real surname is the same as a well-known (at least in the more “English” parts of the English-speaking world) motor car. And the parish just happened to provide my father with that make of car. (To give the parish council its due, they had bought the car before dad was appointed.) The kids at school thought that was hilarious, and happened to tell me so roughly every time my father drove by, which was unfortunately often, given that we lived half a block from the school. There was also a vague pun with a well-known classic horror movie actor.
    One of my sisters went within one conversation of calling my nephew something very much like one of Australia’s leading brands of wine. Fortunately they mentioned it to wine-drinking friends, who said “Don’t you dare!”.
    I knew someone who knew someone named Harriet Potter, born and (deliberately) named just after Harry hit it big.

  • Anon


    Down, Rover!

  • astraya

    Anon: Ha-ha.

    The “odd-spot” column of the Sydney Morning Herald has recently included a number of paragraphs about people named “Peace” or similar who celebrated their 90th birthday yesterday.

    Today’s column continues:

    “”I feel duty bound to introduce an Australian flavour to the celebratory names discussion,” writes Richard Clay of Adamstown Heights (Remembrance Day names, Column 8 since Monday), noting that great-uncle Centennial Joseph Clay was born in Granville on April 3, 1888. “My wife refused me an opportunity of a family tradition when our daughter was born in 1988. I thought Bicentennial had a certain ring to it.”

    But this, surely, is the worst of the worst, if Ken Knight of Hornsby can be believed. It is so awful that we have our suspicions, but it must be passed on, as an example of imperial patriotism gone mad: “My mother had a friend who bore – with commendable stoicism – the names Dardanella Kitchenerette.””

    I had a distant family member born in 1888 named Nellie Centennial. She died at a very young age.

    I once overheard a conversation between several people, one of whom was called Simon:

    Person 1: What’s your surname, Simon?
    Simon: It’s the same as the greatest soccer team in England.
    Person 1: Simon Arsenal?
    Person 2: Simon Queen’s Park Rangers?

  • 278. astraya: My eldest daughter was due to be born on Dec. 8th. I had decided to name her Pearl if she actually was born on that date.
    To make absolutely sure she wasn’t stuck with that name, she held off being born until Dec. 24th. I was so tired of being pregnant, and so sure she was doing it on purpose I decided to name her Janus, but her father wouldn’t go for the spelling, so we went with a more ordinary version.
    (o.k., I knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it was a good joke at the time)

  • astraya

    segue: “I decided to name her Janus, but her father wouldn’t go for the spelling, so we went with a more ordinary version”

    The spelling without the “J”? That’s cruel.

    I know two people born on Christmas Day. One is named Christa.

  • Anon, after 23 hours of drug-free labor I didn’t like the little bugger too much.

  • Anon


    Well, we know there’s a Ford Prefect … I wonder if anyone has been christened Austin Healey or other likely vehicle names?

  • I suppose one can’t count Edsel Ford, as he was born prior to the naming of the car.

  • Anon

    Wouldn’t it be a missed delightful opportunity if a Mr and Mrs Fields somewhere has not named their daughter Poppy?

    And a Mr and Mrs Wood their’s Primrose?

    And a Mr and Mrs Ponds their’s Lily?

    And a Mr and Mrs Wall their’s Ivy?

    And a Mr and Mrs Patch their’s Daisy?

    And a Mr and Mrs Hedges their’s Laurel?

    Must speed up …

    Holly Berry
    Hazel Nutt
    Cherry Tree
    Violet Bloom
    Myrtle Groves
    Iris Garden
    Heather Moore
    Olive Branch
    Rose Thorne

  • Anon


    I decided it might be tactful to give the Bush ilk a rest.

  • Halle Berry comes *very* close!

  • Anon



    I think my 284 must originate from those childish, primitive, groanworthy puns that circulated or we used to make up as kids, and I’m sure others did. You know, Robin Banks, and all that stuff.

    Male equivalents are few on the ground, but I do know a Richard Bird, which is actually very commonplace. In fact males with the surname Bird tend to get called ‘Dickie’ whether or not they are *Richards. One of our most famous cricket umpires was called ‘Dickie’ Bird.

    *I think I should throw in a rhyming slang disclaimer here, in particular for any Brits and perhaps also Aussies. A *richard* in that lingo is a Richard the Third, i.e. turd, although some prefer to bowdlerise it to stand for bird, which ties this up neatly and tautologically. One might, I suppose, reasonably claim that a large richard dropped a large richard on one’s head!

  • Anon, do you know I have always wanted to be fluent at English rhyming slang. If Rosetta Stone offered a course in it, I would buy it immediately! I am fairly good at languages, and I would dearly love to be able to carry on entire conversations in rhyming slang.
    Of course, there is no one here, where I live, who could speak it, so it would do me no real good…but nice to muse about.

  • Anon


    It varies quite a lot, as per the richard interpretation. For instance “I’ve broken a Khyber” means one thing and “Up your Khyber” something utterly different. (Khyber Pass, you’ll get them from that!) Probably the US version of the latter would have to be something along the lines of “Up your Sunday”. (Sunday mass.)

    There’s no reason for any group not to make up their own version, or blend inventions with standard vocabulary. I think I’d call you *longan*, for example. Long an’ leggy = segue, gerrit? Only a limited number of words can be treated, the rest of the text or conversation has to be standard English. Enough will throw the uninitiated though. I can’t think of any obvious one for me, even if there is one. I might try *smiler* for (s)myl-adon = Anon.

    Another detail. In some cases the entire counterword is commonly used, as in pen and ink for stink. While for others only the non-rhyming segment is retained as in “My plates are killing me”. Plates of meat = feet.

    My very middle-class parents used certain standard r.s. words all the time. For much of my childhood I knew nothing about the existence of r.s. as a social mode of communication slang, and used to think some of them were simply other names for the objects in question. The fully used counterwords in “Get up the apples and pears”, “Answer the dog and bone, will you, dear”, “He’s half-inched my ice cream”, and even, “Give us a tune on the Joanna” were obvious enough, but I imagined my parents had made those up as a personal language. “Use your loaf (head)”, “Whatcha my old dutch (mate)”, “Comb your barnet (hair)”, “Take your titfa (hat) off indoors”, “Let’s have a butcher’s (look)” and “Doesn’t he rabbit (talk) on?” had no outside connections at all. They were simply alternatives for the regular words in the brackets.

    Inevitably, when we became smutty adolescents and knowing r.s. users, the rude ones all took pride of place in our vocab. “Nice pair of Bristols on that one.” “Gary said he had a Donald with that Tracy slut, but I think he was just bragging.” “Let’s go down the pub and get properly Brahms and Liszt tonight, shall we?” “That’s a load of Brighton”, and so on.

  • Anon


    You’ve really got me at it. I read your last post and let out a loud Rosetta!

  • Groan!

  • Anon


  • Anon

    Actually, you could have your own Rosetta. How about: I spoke to him over the Rosetta about it this morning? Or: I’m going to see the bank manager about a Rosetta?

  • This could be such wicked fun! Now that I’ve finally had an explanation of how it works, I can think of many ways to use it!
    Drat, though! I wish I’d known this when my kids were very young. I could have taught them how to use it and we could have had a secret family code.
    What amazes me is how truly simple it is when you get a good explanation of it. I never would have figured out the part about the not verbalized, inferred word, being the rhymed word. I mean, *that* requires someone who knows telling you about it.
    Anyway. Thank you! I’m going to have so much fun.

  • Anon


    My childhood and still best friend (since we were 3 or 4) and I went to all the same schools together, and had numbers of other interests in common. (Both our second wives are also great friends.) We invented a personal code in which we turned words backwards, or so we told ourselves. Actually, it was more of an anagram than literal reverse code, as we in fact would chop a word into easy bites and reverse each bit of the bite, of course making the whole easy to pronounce as well. It had the *moral disadvantage* of allowing us to revel in any kind of extremely anti-social bad language wherever we were! We also used to modify and develop commonly used words, so some changed considerably over time. Looking back, it’s easy to see that as a paradigm of how language can change so radically between separated, discrete groups.

    We were proud of what we thought to be our unique code, and quite shocked to learn later that *official* backslang existed in various forms. One simple, well-known variety that some at our *big* school used, but which is terribly easy to crack, was to take the smallest segment possible off the front of the word, push it the end and add an -a (always pronounced *ay*): i.e. *onouncedpray*. An immutable word such as *and* simply got the suffix as *anday*. It sounds terribly tedious in long chunks, but can be trotted out as easily as ordinary conversation!

    I have also heard on radio and TV magazine programmes about what I would regard as amazingly talented but thoroughly obsessed folks who have taken our practical, work-a-day code to its logical conclusion. They could talk through what I’ve just written here with each word in total, perfect reverse, and talk it as fast as an ordinary conversation. If I hadn’t seen and heard that, I wouldn’t believe it possible. I recall at least one couple of friends on air who could communicate fluently in that manner!

  • Anon, your *big* school code sounds extremely similar to what we called (for reasons I never learned) “pig latin”. In fact, it sounds exactly like it.
    I was quite good at it once upon a time, but then, so many others were, as well, that there was no “secret” about the language unless, like a small group of us would get together, and speak in nothing but “pig latin” in rapid fire sequence. It was the swiftness that threw others off. They could follow, easily, the beginning, but as we got faster and faster, they dropped out.
    It’s a silly, childish game, but yes, I can easily see how something like what you and your friend were doing could, over time, with a large enough population base, evolve into a discrete language.
    Funny this should come up this morning. I was working on something else entirely unconnected to this site, having to do with language, and here I pop on and this post greets me!
    It’s one of those moments when you sit up and think “Hey! what about that 11th dimension? Did I just slip in and out?”

  • Anon

    astraya has just reminded me by chance over on a another thread of a great name take I ought to share with anyone cutting in here who doesn’t know it. It is only likely to be familiar to those who follow cricket on the BBC radio, unless it’s been written up anywhere.

    The BBC team of reporters and experts who commented on the international matches were a madly humurous and leg-pulling bunch. They would mercilessly pick up on air any unconscious double entendre by one of their colleagues, and sometimes *corpse* for minutes on end, so the commentary ended and all you could hear were stifled giggles and explosive chuckles. That happened when one of them said of a batsman haring back to his crease so as not to be run out, and having to hurdle an opponent, “I think he made it. It looks as though he got his leg over just in time.”

    The relevant case here concerned a match between the West Indies and England. England was batting, and a player called Peter Willey faced the bowling. A mildly amusing surname, if you like. His opponent was a very fast and fearsome bowler called Michael Holding. Nothing in that. As they prepared for action, the commentator announced, to inform listeners:

    “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey.”

    Anyone doesn’t get it, see me round the back …

  • OMG!
    I don’t think my husband is going to allow me to visit here any longer if I react the way I just did. I exploded. All of the air in me blew out across the room! Then, after getting some air back, I started laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, and laughing, etc.
    I’d stop. Compose myself. my eyes would once more glance at “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey.” and the entire sequence would begin again.
    Well, they do say that laughter is the best medicine, don’t they? I should be quite well, in that case.

  • Anon


    Imagine that poor commentator on the Beeb then, talking to the nation. As my memory serves, *normal service* was not resumed for about ten minutes or so. It’s not often I can keep laughing at the same thing, but that comment in that context, oh … Here we go again …

  • astraya

    I know that as pig Latin, too.
    Alas, wikipee cites cricinfo in stating that that item of commentary never happened.
    I remember seeing a program of news bloopers. One reporter was introducing a yachtsman named Gordon Johncock. His tongue slipped, so he had to repeat the introduction. Unfortunately for him, once you start mispronouncing the name Gordon Johncock, you keep mispronouncing it.
    The Sydney Morning Herald had an article about people using predictive text on mobile phones as code.

  • I decided to share the reason for my unbridled mirth with my husband, so I e.mailed him the section of Anon’s post with the BBC commentary in it.
    He found it just as funny as I,unfortunately, as he breathes and speaks through a trach, he can’t laugh like we can, so his mirth is more internal. I did see him shaking and his eyes aglow with merriment. So that tale has been enjoyed by all.

  • Anon


    “All of the air in me blew out across the room!”

    Lucky you weren’t in the middle of a soup course or the like, then. It happens. When we were kids our rather posh but still good-humoured and practical next-door-neighbours had a birthday party for their younger daughter (my first girldfriend. All together now, “Ahhhhhh!”). The long table was immaculately laid out for a dozen and a half of we local brats in party hats. White cloth, napkins, china and laid service, serving plates groaning with sandwiches, jellies, jugs of squash and so on. Luxury food was still in short supply then, and the mum had pulled all the stops out with a great plate of wonderful merengues, always a great favourite of mine. I was either responsible for the joke or setting off the uncrontolled laughter, I can’t rememember which, but suddenly the table was the venue for explosive bursts of dry merengue powder. I do know I was the first dear little horror to direct mine at someone, followed into battle by all the rest. Pure Laurel and Hardy anarchic chaos. Ingesting merengue as fast as we could and spraying it over all and sundry, propelled by hysterical laughter. What a waste, but what a glorious climax to the party. Our neighbour, to her credit, took it in the best of spirits, and although having to call a halt, was throughly tickled by the episode.

  • Oh! How wonderful! And I do adore merengues! My mum would make them for every occasion of merit, serving them up with strawberries and heaps of whipped cream. I can still smell merengues as I type this!
    But more to the point, I recall a birthday party I was at as a small child. Also laid on as well as the mother could possibly do. This brouhaha was my fault, though innocently enough. I was 4, and a recent arrival in Sydney from America. I wasn’t yet used to outhouses, so when I had to “go” I said I had to go to the bathroom.
    By the time of the party my ignorance was already legendary in the neighborhood, and the cause of much merriment. So halfway through the meal I had the urgent need to attend to business. I stood up and said, “I need to go to the bathroom.” At which point one little chap snorted milk through his nose!
    The entire table fell into hysterics, and I ran home in complete shame.
    Of course, after that, I learned to define my needs better, but it was a shameful cost!

  • Anon


    I was about to comment to segue that an astute humorist might have seen the two names in the team lists and made up the sentence. But it wouldn’t be nearly as funny as if an unconsciously spontaneous broadcast boob which was only spotted by the utterer too late. Maybe whoever thought it up had the same idea. How I got to know of it is lost in the mists of time, but I’m sure it came from what I would have considered an impeccable source at the time. Well, I shall continue to treasure it, whether fact, legend or myth! I certainly know the one about getting his leg over was fact. I heard it broadcast. Once a group of us happened to be discussing our attitudes towards homosexuality. One said, “Well I must admit I don’t personally like the idea of it at all. But I’m perfectly prepared to tolerate what people get up to in private. So long as it isn’t rammed down my throat in public.” Collapse and crack up of stout parties.

    How well-known the splendid British regular satircal publication ‘Private Eye’ is in the wide world, I’ve no idea. At the end of its letter pages, it has a short column of about half a dozen or a few more quotes per issue of media bloopers sent in by readers. The column is called Colmanballs after a commentator particularly renowned for them. ‘P.E.’ also publishes compilations in book form from time to time. The one thing it proves, regardless of the status and quality of our discussed example, is that an endless stream of them is issued all the time. The on-air absurdity of some commentators and pundits almost defies belief. It was originally confined to sport, but has been opened up to any worthwhile howlers these days, sport still predominating.

    Alas, I waste-papered all mine brought over to Chile in a vital spring clean. But you might get something like:
    “We all know Smith is a great two footed player, and he scored that last goal with both of them.” (What the pundit, probably a semi-literate participant, means is that the player tricked his way past the defence using both feet, not scored the goal with them.) Radio quizzes involving members of the public are particularly fertile ground. The following multiple choice response would be par for the course:
    Quizzmaster, “Which of the following three teams won the 2006 World Cup? Germany? Italy? or Argentina?”
    Contestant, “Err, Ahh, Ummm. Would it be France?”

  • There was a truly terrible tv show in the States at one time called The Newlyweds. It brought 4 couples together, all of whom had been married less than one year. Prior to show time, the couples had been separated and asked a set of questions, questions about their partners preferences or something their partner had said or done during courtship or marriage to date.
    The couples chosen were, on average, double-digit IQ types.
    I recall one question/answer set vividly:
    Q: What is your husbands favorite brass instrument?
    Wife’s A: His golf club
    Husband’s A: My wrench
    The look on the host’s face was sheer, pop-eyed, unbelievability!
    I don’t remember the other answers, but I do remember that none of them could come up with a brass musical instrument. Or even anything made of brass!

  • Anon


    I’ve just checked with Anita, and she vaguely remembers with me that the matchless newlywed programme was imported here to Chile. We’re pretty sure it came up with some similar Colmanballs. Not much point otherwise, I guess!

  • I’m often amazed by the people allowed out and about without a keeper nearby!

  • Katie

    One of my favorite college professors was named Ronald MacDonald – but ALWAYS, ALWAYS went by Ron.

    There is also a professor (at a different college) named Thomas Dumm – sort of the opposite of those veterinarians named Catt and the like. The worst part is that his wife’s name is Brenda Bright – what a very good reason to keep her name.

    My brother has also known girls named Lily Meadows and Crystal Waters.

  • Okay. Not exactly a persons name, but let’s say an unfortunate pairing of businesses next door to each other (considering the jokes about one).
    Right outside the back entrance to one studio lot I used to work on a lot was a Korean take-out restaurant, right door was a Veterinary Hospital.
    Needless to say, no one from any crew I ever worked with ordered from the restaurant (even though we *knew* the jokes were jokes).

  • KristinOwe

    i had a french teacher named “madame hole”

  • BooRadley

    My absolutely favorite unusual name came up at work. We worked in a grocery store and were obligated to thank each customer by last name. (Thank you, Mr. Smith, and so on.) My friend was handed a check and had to thank the man: “Thank you, Mr. Goatlicker!” The infuriated customer yelled, “It’s pronounced Gottlicker!” and stormed out. We went to look at the check and there was his name: William Goetlicher. My friend looked at me and said, “Do you think they call him Billy?” We were literally helpless we were laughing so hard. Someone ran to the copy machine and made a copy that hung in our breakroom for years.

    I have been to a gastroeneterologist named Dr. Turdiman.

    I have worked with a boy named Sue. (He was from Palau and spelled it Xiu.)

    My wonderful sister-in-law’s first name is Nini, but she decided to keep her maiden name when she married my brother to avoid being called Nini Sweeney. Can you blame her?

  • Anon


    Nice ones.

  • Anon


    Afterthought. I do hope your sister-in-law’s maiden name isn’t Todd!

  • Anon

    I’ve just recalled from my dim and distant past an Edward Bull. He would surely have been happy to get away with just Ted or Teddy, but unfortunately always found himself *Edible*! I wonder if he ended up working in food production?

  • RandomPrecision

    My sister had a social studies teacher named Mr. Boring.

  • Parker

    my doctors name is doctor Pain…

    ha and one man named his kids after war ‘villans’ like Hitler and DQ refused to write the name on his childs birthday cake.

  • Steve

    no joke. I used to work at a hollywood video store in central california – there was a customer there who’s real name (honest to god, I checked his license once) was “Harry Sackrider”.

  • Steve, that reminded me…there was a man who lived in my central CA. village named Nitt Witt.

  • Ghreeiedni

    You forgot Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso (aka Pablo Picasso)

  • Ricard

    lol at Ima Hogg
    and I only know Simone Simon/Simon Simone from a Kamelot track..hooray, Kamelot!

  • lin

    A few years ago I had a student in my elementary class named Sensual Memory Ambush. Not sure if her name was a constant reminder to her mother!!!!

  • Neo

    Arsene Wenger Coach of Arsenal FC is also an intresting choice.

  • meh

    you left out the greatest name of all time:

    Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfe­schlegelstein­hausenberger­dorffvoraltern­waren­gewissenhaft­schaferswessen­schafewaren­wohlgepflege­und­sorgfaltigkeit­beschutzen­von­angreifen­durch­ihrraubgierigfeinde­welche­voraltern­zwolftausend­jahres­vorandieerscheinen­wander­ersteer­dem­enschderraumschiff­gebrauchlicht­als­sein­ursprung­von­kraftgestart­sein­lange­fahrt­hinzwischen­sternartigraum­auf­der­suchesodanach­diestern­welche­gehabt­bewohnbar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wohin­der­neurasse­von­verstandigmen­schlichkeit­konnte­fortplanzen­und­sicher­freuen­anlebens­langlich­freude­und­ruhe­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­angreifen­von­anderer­intelligent­geschopfs­von­hinzwischen­sternartigraum, Senior.

  • Darren

    unless someone alrerady listed(i havn’t had time to read all comments), there was a basketball player named World B. Free, as well as an american football player named Dexter Klinkscale, and lets not forget Mugsy Bogues(also a basketball player, although Mugsy is probably a nickname)


    I once heard of a man named Tennis Shue.

  • josh

    Honest to God, my fiancee’s coworker is named Anita Dick (which is her married name).

  • Anon

    During the 2009 Oscar Ceremony just this minute ended, I’m sure the name of a very nice man was beamed up as Richard Pryke. If indeed so, this does seem a rather unecessarily cruel piece of tautology on the part of his parents.

  • gabi319

    Ten really had a surname of Million? wow. I had really thought it was a legal name change like Ocho Cinco but with a surname like million there’s plenty to tease even without considering the first name.

    Don’t know if it’s a real name since Cracked Magazine isn’t my one-stop information source, but they mentioned Staff Sargeant Max Fightmaster of the US Army. It’s so fantastic that I really really hope it’s a real name.

  • Anon

    I’ve just finished watching a relay of a Premier League soccer match between West Ham and Manchester City. Anita came into the room and sat down for a minute. The commentator spoke the name of a City player. “Elano?”, queried Anita. “Si, Elano.” I confirmed. “ELANO??!!” she repeated, pointing significantly. Collapse of stout party.
    “Por supuesto, el ano!”, I snorted.) El ano: Spanish for anus or arsehole/asshole!

    (Got that for the next list, astraya?)

  • Anon

    I’m now reminded of a connection, again true-life.

    My paternal grandparents lived in a largish detatched house at Blackheath, not far from the Greenwich Observatory. They were fanatical sports people and bridge players. It so happened that they knew one of the Astronomers Royal (a neighbour, I believe), who was also a bridge fiend. Either Spencer Jones, or his predessor, Sir Frank Dyson. Of course tales and gossip used to be swapped.

    One such told of a visit by a pretty high-up member of the royalty to the Observatory. The guiding A.R. was naming the objects seem by the Royal Personage. A particular one was captured in the lenses and the hapless A.R. blurterd out, too late to realise, “It’s Uranus, You Highness”! Hopefully it was the earthy Edward VII, who would have wet himself at that.

  • Jacynta

    The doctor who delivered me was called Dr. Slaughter, my mum always said it wasn’t really a name to instill confidence in a soon to be first time mother.

  • JessteRich66

    wheres Rob Loblaw

  • 332. JessteRich66: wheres Rob Loblaw
    Last time I saw him he was at the corner of Cahuenga and Barham, waiting to cross the street.

  • CatChick1964

    Why are some of you making such dirty names out of these?

    8. Argelico Fucks — last name would properly be pronounced “fewcks”

    11. Rusty Kuntz — last name would properly be pronounced “koontz”.

    44. glaukopis – September 9th, 2008 at 6:53 am [Report Abuse]

    I went to high school with a kid named Phuc Boi.

    That was pronounced “Fewk Boy”

    I feel like I’m back in high school reading all these childish imature comments. Ane people wonder why kids are so cruel. :(

  • Mark

    Andrei Arsharvin? Although the second “A” sound is short in reality, which detracts a bit from the humour when you hear the name before reading it…

  • Bert

    Ummmm – on # 16. The only way the Oliver family could follow “family tradition” is if everyone’s first name was Revilo. If your name has to read the same backwards and forwards, and you have a common last name, everyone’s first name has to be their last name backwards.

  • Fishy My Hair!

    #19: ive been thinking of that too since i was lil. i thought its kind of ironic

  • yankee

    i know a doctor named “seymore weiner’ no joke

  • yankee

    also, hugh jass, hung lo, mike rotch, mike hawke, i also know someone whose last name is wrestle, and her first name is originally mania, so in a legal doucument, she will be knows as Wrestle, Mania.

  • salepo

    Have to add my two cents-in Greencastle,Indiana there are two OB/Gyns (unfortunately not in practice with each other)-Dr Ho and Dr Bush.I once babysat for a couple named Bud and Mary Dollar.Bud’s real name was Silver Dollar,jr so he went by Bud for obvious reasons.To spare their children they named them Nicholas Silver Dollar and Charity Dollar-so close.

  • Stunt Man Mike…

    I know this kid named Suck My Fat Swollen Shit Chute Shadow Shaft. No joke. He’s plays basketball. Good list.

  • sgsgsg

    Greetings from Singapore!

    There’s a guy in my country called Batman bin Suparman. Absolute win, lol.

  • Clark

    Batman bin (son of) Suparman is a legend! And he is only 19 now.

    here’s his ID, have a look!

    Batman son of Superman. Wow.

  • joanne

    “Batman bin Suparman?”… ROFL!!

    this guy’s gonna be famous

  • bluegama500

    my auntie knew a guy called “richard hole” and everyone called him “dick hole” XD.true story i swear

  • grant

    The Golden State Warriors had a player named World B. Free. Kind of Nice actually!

  • kking

    Coco Crisp

  • Rowena

    My sister has a teacher called Miss Manley, and there is another at my school called Mrs Mann – imagine those hyphenated.
    Also, there was reputedly a classical composer called Louis Georges Maurice Adolphe Roch Albert Abel Antonio Alexandre Noe Jean Lucien Daniel Eugene Joseph-le-Brun Joseph-Bareme Thomas Thomas Thomas-Thomas Pierre Cerbon Pierre-Maurel Barthelemi Artus Alphonse Bertrand Emanuel Dieudonne Josue Vincent Luc Michel Jules-de-la-Plane Jules-Bazin Julio-Cesar Jullien.
    I’m not sure if that’s true though – I can’t imagine anyone being given Thomas Thomas Thomas-Thomas in the middle of the name. The book I read this in also said there were some claims his name was not actually this long.

  • rendezvous

    i love these lists.

  • zach

    Where’s Moon Unit Zappa, the daughter of the famous guitarist Frank Zappa?

  • Jim

    In a hospital where I once worked there were two patients in the ER named Ada Dick and Unieda Dick. They were sisters.

  • saber25

    I am at the 20 fantastically named people list. I know why Jaime Sin was that name. It doesn’t mean that he is a bishop then his surname is sin. It’s just from a bloodline. So, it’s better than hearing a Pope name called Pope Buttsucker the 1st

  • Snuggie1

    I went to grade school with Mary Christmas …..

  • oars44

    I can’t believe Dick Trickle isnt on this list, he was nascar driver in the 80’s I think.

  • quidz

    Staff Sergent Max Fightmaster. Fact.

  • bima

    theres a sundanese village that named all their kid with holywood names

    one of them is mike tyson

  • eric cantona

    a fast man called bolt? anyone said that yet?

  • QDV

    There was a trophy in the trophy case at the high school attended, with a plate on it featuring the names of the guys on a particular year’s football team, last name first. Didn’t take us long to spot Dick Eaton’s name.

  • Joanne

    U.S. Department of the Treasury’s economic emissary to China is named David Dollar, just read it on a while ago

  • Tadpole

    When i was in the Air Force, stationed in Italy, i knew a guy named Cash Bond.

  • meggzie123

    I still think edward woodward is a pretty fantastic name
    and i have a friend whos aunt is called pat hiscock and she has a son called paul.

  • CandJ

    I know a guy who’s name is Dick Sweat lol

  • Wrichik

    @Tom (36):

    Dikshit is funny to Westerners for obvious reasons, but there are lots of foreign names which sound ridiculous to Indians. Here are a few examples.

    ***** EXPLETIVES AHEAD *****

    The name “Rosemary Marlow” sounds like “Roz meri maar lo” in Hindi, which roughly translates to “Fuck me daily” said in the feminine first person.

    The last name “Rand” (eg: Ayn Rand) sounds very similar to “Raand” which is a word for prostitute in Hindi slang.

    “Sala”, a common Italian last name, is a popular mild profanity in Hindi.


  • YoungAnabaptistRadical

    I had a patient named “Harry Mansack.”

    There were three gym teachers at my high school, Messrs. Manlove, Dubois and Weiner…so of course we’d string them all together = man-love-do-boy’s-weiner. I also had a vice principal named Harvey Harvey.

    One of my good friends is Chinese, and her first and middle names are “Ida Ho-Ting.” For her birthday one year, I gave her a tee that said “Idaho? No, you da ho!” with a pictore on it of the state Idaho.

  • Ev

    We had a nurse at school called Ms Payne… We also had a counsellor named Mrs Wise…

    My parents have a few friends with funny names also; Phil Good, Sue Flay and Gun Ho

  • fordman

    There’s a lady at my mom’s work (Tallahassee Memorial Hospital) that is named Alma Bone.

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  • i havnt read this list in quite some time…..forgot 3 american sports stars (play for american teams, i mean)

    miroslav satan, hocky player for boston bruins
    bushrod, OL for the new orleans saints
    kosuke fukudome, OF for the chicago cubs

    that last one caused me to get a cubs jersey,… (theyre my baseball team, and i didnt have a road jersey)….someone *always* something about that fukudome name on the back

  • hellolleh

    In my medical school there was a girl named “straight line”. Apparently her father was a Math Professor. Guess her brothers name- Tangent.
    One of my cousins told me that in her college there were three siblings whose names were Alpha Reddy, Beta Reddy and Gamma Reddy. Their father was a physics professor.

  • Himsa13

    Best baseball name ever…Wonderful Terrific Monds III. He was a minor leaguer for the Braves in the mid 90s. Always wanted to hear an announcer say “Now batting…Wonderful Monds.”

  • Matt C

    A couple of colour related names:

    My mum has friends who (before they married) were called Olive and Teresa Green (here in Liverpool, Teresa is pronounced like “trees are”)

    I used to work with Bianca White (Bianca being “white” in Italian.

    Oh, and famous people: there used to be an Irish politician called Dick Springs, and Roger Moore basically translates as “has more sex”

  • Msbinks

    There’s an Irish radio dj called Rick O’ Shea and I’ve heard the name Ullich (pronounced u lick) McGee Irish people will get the last one hehehe :)

  • Old Gray Mare

    Just found this website a week or so ago and have been reading EVERYTHING, never thinking I would have something to add, but I just can’t stop myself. The names below are people who lived in my area, but are now deceased.

    ~Fannie Munch
    ~Adolph Moore
    ~Dewey Mae Patch Eye (better than Dewey Mae Eye Patch)
    ~A family nearby all named for states. The parents were Utah (father) & Rhode Island (mother). The girls were Tennessee, Georgia, and Maryland. The boys were Kansas, Arkansas, and Nebraska. No joke. Unreal

  • Anthony

    I had a friend who said when he was in 1st grade there was this kid named Dominick LemonJello

    Although that doesn't compete with some of these i've seen in the comments. Dr. Dick? ROFL

  • ice

    you forgot NBA's World B. Free

  • VitaminTom

    The inclusion of a minor league baseball player reminded me of a player in the Atlanta Braves system back in the 90's. He never made it to the majors, but he was hard to forget.

  • Insane.asylum

    I Knew someone named Teuti Frooti (pronounced tooty fruity) and her half sister's name was Pepsi Hore.

  • Brian

    Actor Kiefer Sutherland actually has like ten middle names, due to his father Donald's unbroken promises of "if I do/you get this, I'll name my son after you…"

    My mother went to school with a June May April.
    My father & aunt knew a Harry Palmer, while that first name was shared by the fathers of two of my classmates, named Dick and Peters.

    I had another classmate whose last name was Darling and married a Sprick, becoming a Darling-Sprick. LOL

    I had one former boss named Phillip Morris. Everytime he was paged, someone would mumble "Call for Phillip Morris!!" (ok, it was me!)
    BTW, His immediate subordinate was Chuck Wood.

  • Nemotion

    No Isambard Kingdom Brunel? The list is not complete…

  • AlbeezyB

    Usain Bolt ?

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  • Ana

    I went to school with lots of people with odd names, Magic Tiongson who is party of the basketball varsity, Bruce Willis Sing & Edgar Allan Pe.

  • Ana

    Also my dad's associate is called Handsome Young

  • Asa Lasky

    The current(?)president of Nigeria is named Goodluck Jonathon. Seems like a fine fellow, too.

  • mak

    general butt-naked

  • fendabenda

    My Han Moo Do teacher’s name was Young Suk.

  • Nick

    You should have put Vladmir Putin on this list.

  • Alan

    There is a former Canadian politician by the name of Inky Mark.

  • HIWI


  • Blammo

    There is a Dr. Payne in Ontario. Not sure if I want to go there!

  • shefere

    Tiger woods should be on dat list. Even Arsenal’s Ray Parlour

  • Bart

    The last one really cracked me up! Wolfgang Wolf managing Wolfsburg F.C.

  • Kennoth

    What about Mike Litoris?

  • jbjr

    Anybody say Fair Hooker? WR of the Cleveland Browns in the early 70’s, National football league.

  • Lightning Speedman

    i was hoping Usain Bolt

  • Rindizzo65

    hahaha guy’s getting teased for their names Peter File and Moe lester on facebook =)

  • ronald molokwu

    have you guys heard of a batman bin suparman

  • Chris

    you did not mention the NASCAR race car driver Dick Trickle. Yes that is his real name. Probably the worst name I’ve ever heard, poor guy.

  • Lemon Chiffon Pie

    If you liked this list then you should by a little book called ‘Potty, Fartwell and Knob’ – it’s a collection if brilliant names taken from birth, death and marriage records in the UK over the past couple of hundred years. It’s only a few pounds but will always brighten your day a little!

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