10 Fictional Sports That Would Be Illegal in Real Life

Fiction has given us several fantastic sports. These made-up pastimes are part of the world-building process, making a given setting feel real. You know the creators have done their jobs if audiences want to partake in these fictional games. That said, you might want to think twice about jumping in.

As fun as these sports look or sound, they would likely be outlawed in the real world. That restriction mainly comes down to danger. The events in the arena pose a threat to players and onlookers alike. Not only would these irresponsible venues draw police attention, but they would kill the very people whose money they rely on. Such issues mean that these sports aren’t sustainable. They’re still amusing to imagine, though.

Related: The Ten Greatest Fictional Rivalries of All Time

10 Quidditch

Witches are famous for flying on broomsticks. Harry Potter takes that image and makes it into a sport. Quidditch is akin to football, soccer, and basketball. Players pass the ball (Quaffle) around the field and try to throw it into the other side’s goal rings. They also try to avoid the Bludgers—projectiles that try to bash anything in sight. Meanwhile, each team’s Seeker tries to find an elusive ball called the Golden Snitch, which bestows a huge number of points and ends the game. At first glance, this formula doesn’t seem too far removed from other team sports, but the difference lies in the elevation.

As previously mentioned, Quidditch unfolds on flying broomsticks. Players can soar 100 feet (30.5 meters) up at any time. Falling from even a fraction of that height would be fatal, and that outcome is more likely than you’d think. On top of the aforementioned Bludgers, players can hit each other. Physical contact doesn’t seem to carry any penalty. What’s worse is that children often play this game. Then again, it’s hardly the first time Hogwarts endangers its students.^[1]

9 Pro-Bending

The defining element of Avatar: The Last Airbender is elemental mastery. Gifted individuals can harness fire, water, earth, or air. They harness those gifts through martial arts, but The Legend of Korra offers a different outlet.

Pro-bending sees teams compete for territory. Using a combination of natural abilities and arena discs, players fire small projectiles at the other side. The goal is to drive the other team to the edge and knock its players out of bounds. Although the game only simulates real combat, it carries real danger.

Pro-bending’s risks are obvious. Granted, players have armor and rules protecting them from fatal damage, but nothing truly prohibits them from going all-out. You never know when an ill-tempered bender might unleash a hand-made hurricane on opponents. That’s saying nothing of the audience. With players lobbing rocks and fireballs everywhere, someone in the crowd is bound to take a hit. You know what they say about playing with fire.^[2]

8 Lightcycle Battles

Tron takes a mundane computer system and fashions it into an exciting, neon-lit wonderland. The most iconic set pieces are the lightcycle battles. Here, programs ride specialized motorcycles around a spacious arena. The objectives vary from simple races to death matches. The common denominator, though, is combatting other riders. Each bike leaves a trail that functions as a miniature wall. Colliding with this wall results in immediate de-resolution (death). As participants continue moving, the area becomes more restrictive. The trick is to outmaneuver enemies so that they have nowhere to go.

Lightcycle matches are just a fancy form of gladiatorial combat. Sure, it’s fun at the moment, but death is literally a stipulation for winning. While humans have indulged in these horrific trials during times past, such barbaric practices have long since been outlawed. Even the participating programs don’t do it unless they have no other choice. If they could, they’d probably delete lightcycle battles from the hard drive.^[3]

7 Podracing

Laws vary in the Star Wars galaxy, which is why some seedy planets can get away with podracing. Equipped with specialized hovercrafts, participants race around a track at breakneck speed. The goal is to be the first to the finish line. That simple setup isn’t different from any other circuit race, but it’s the details that matter.

Podracing requires superhuman reaction time just to stay alive. The sheer speed of the vehicles makes it hard to dodge oncoming obstacles. These hurdles are plentiful since many tracks go through untamed land. Some of that land is hostile territory, opening drivers up to potshots from ornery locals. That’s if they don’t wipe each other out through sabotage or road rage. Even the Force would make these circuits a suicide run.^[4]

6 Doll Hunts

Replicants don’t have much luck to begin with. Engineered to fight humanity’s wars, these synthetic people now find themselves hunted by the eponymous Blade Runners, whose job it is to decommission these rogue robots. Blade Runner: Black Lotus turns that civic duty into a sadistic sport.

Doll hunting involves a bunch of replicants deposited in a remote location with no memory of how they got there. Rich people then play the role of hunters—chasing and killing the replicants for sport. The fact that the targets aren’t human doesn’t make it any less disgusting.

On top of being thoroughly unsportsmanlike, this practice is thoroughly dehumanizing. Rich folks once embarked on similar hunts with animals, but even that’s frowned upon nowadays. There’s no way that civilized society would accept this treatment of sentient beings, even if they aren’t strictly human. In fact, their inhuman abilities and mental prowess would make them more of a threat to the hunters. Because of the health and human rights headaches, this pastime is more trouble than it’s worth.^[5]

5 Bot Boxing

You’d think replacing human boxers with robots would make for a safer sport. Real Steel operates on that very premise. These matches operate like any official bout. The mechs use jabs, hooks, haymakers, and uppercuts to put their opponents on the ground (or reduce them to scrap). Most of the fighting comes down to programming, but trainers can also control their fighters directly. The ensuing bombast is where things get sketchy.

Most boxers are colossal, deadly mechs with overwhelming force behind every punch. When they clash, metal parts are liable to go flying in all directions. These parts go straight to the surrounding crowd. Yeah, it’s funny when fans catch pieces of their favorite fighters, but some chunks might be heavy or jagged enough to cause serious injury. The trainers are usually more at risk, as they’re right next to the ring. One misstep, and they could catch a stray punch. Robot boxing is meant to have less danger and more excitement, but it only makes these contests more chaotic.^[6]

4 Budokai Tenkaichi

Being a martial arts franchise, Dragon Ball has several competitions where fighters strut their stuff. The Budokai Tenkaichi (or World Martial Arts Tournament) hosts the strongest combatants from across the globe. Participants duke it out in an arena until one emerges victorious. They lose if they yield, get knocked out of bounds, or can’t get up after ten seconds. Killing an opponent results in disqualification. Those rules should make the sport safe, but they don’t account for the superhuman stars.

Dragon Ball is full of fighters with godlike power. Not only can they punch through solid steel, but they channel their energy into catastrophic blasts. These attacks can level an entire city in seconds. In fact, they’ve destroyed the arena on several occasions. Anyone in the blast radius is instantly vaporized. Sure, these displays are great for spectacle and publicity, but the casualties outweigh the ratings.^[7]

3 Pokémon Battles

In this case, the sport is the main attraction. Pokémon are fantasy animals capable of numerous elemental attacks. Hopeful trainers catch these creatures and sharpen their skills. They then pit their teams against those of other trainers. The pocket monsters battle it out to determine who can become a Pokémon Master. You can see the ethical problems from a mile away.

Pokémon battles are kid-friendly cockfights. After being caught against their will, these creatures damage each other so badly that they have to be hospitalized. Animal rights activists would have a conniption fit at such cruel treatment. That’s to say nothing of the danger to trainers. Any of the elemental attacks could kill a human being, yet these guys stand right in the line of fire to issue commands. Suffice it to say, these gripes take the wholesome fun out of a Pokémon journey.^[8]

2 Duel Monsters

Another monster battle phenomenon, Yu-Gi-Oh! revolves around a card game. Most cards represent menacing monsters, but others function as buffs, spells, or traps. Players must strategically use these cards to outwit their opponents, destroy their monsters, and drain their life points. Even given the scary aesthetic, it’s hard to see how a card game could do any harm. Of course, the threat becomes clear after learning the game’s roots.

The Yu-Gi-Oh! anime explains that Duel Monsters originated in Ancient Egypt. Rather than simple holograms or cards, these creatures magically emerge from tablets as tangible threats. That twist is ominous enough, but the stakes get even greater with the Millennium items. These mythical objects let players dabble in the Shadow Realm, meaning that every game puts their souls on the line. The price of a single match—both physical and metaphysical—makes Duel Monsters a pastime for only the most foolish pharaohs.^[9]

1 Death Races

The name says it all. Fictional franchises love their death races. Although the specifics may vary, these competitions all boil down to the same few goals. Drivers must reach the finish line alive while wreaking utter havoc along the way. Not only must they dodge deadly obstacles on the track, but they have to wipe out rival cars before their opponents do the same. Countless movies, TV shows, and video games have incorporated this formula. Mario Kart, Crash Team Racing, Jak X: Combat Racing, Ready Player One, Speed Racer, and the aptly named Death Race 2000 are just a few examples. The results are equally violent every time.

Such wanton death and destruction are why these crazy games would never fly. They combine the murderous rage of gladiator battles with the reckless driving of street racing. Each of these pastimes poses untold risks to participants and onlookers alike. Mixing them together would only amplify that risk. Not only that, but the rising fatalities would likely drive away potential contestants. Death races epitomize the ultimate disregard for human life—utterly unethical and hopelessly impractical.^[10]