In keeping with our tradition of writing movie lists to cause controversy, we have the most boring films of all time. It seems that Hollywood is more concerned these days with pumping out a lot of films rather than creating quality. Here are the 10 most boring movies – if you disagree or have your own most boring film, tell us in the comments!
10. You’ve Got Mail
The owner of a large bookstore chain starts putting the owner of a small local bookstore out of business. Meanwhile they have been corresponding over the internet without knowing who either of them are. They can’t stand each other in person but over the internet they are very attracted. He finds out who she is but she doesn’t know. He starts to like her more but she still hates him. He has to fix it.
9. Legends of the Fall
Colonel Wlliam Ludlow (Anthony Hopkins) and his 3 sons (Samuel, Tristan and Alfred) live in the Rocky Mountains of Montana, USA, at the beginning of the 20th century. When Samuel brings with him his fiancé Susanna, the fellowship of the 3 brothers is about to be broken. The eldest son, Alfred (Aidan Quinn), falls in love with Susanna, and she falls in love with Tristan (Brad Pitt).
8. AI
In this futuristic fairy tale, “David”, a highly-advanced robotic boy, hopes to become a real boy so that he can win back the affection of the human mother who abandoned him. Like Pinocchio, he goes on a long journey (a long and BORING journey) hoping to find his “Blue Fairy,” who can make his dreams come true.
7. Vanilla Sky
David Aames takes all he has for granted; his wealth, his inherited publishing company, his good looks – his relationships. Especially his relationships. It catches up to him when a friend/sometimes sex-partner can’t see their relationship the way he sees it. From that point, the movie takes a Lynchian twist that ultimately and literally pulls us into Aames’ tortured psyche. Stars Scientology dullard Tom Cruise.
6. The English Patient
The mind-numbingly dull story of a Hungarian mapmaker and his dying memories of the romance that tragically alters his life. Burned horribly in a fiery plane crash while crossing the Sahara Desert during WWII, he is tended to by a Canadian nurse with ghosts of her own and haunted by a thief seeking answers for a crime from his past.
5. The Black Dahlia
The Black Dahlia is set in 1940s Los Angeles. Two cops, Bucky Bleichert and his partner, Lee Blanchard, investigate the death of Elizabeth Short, a young woman found brutally murdered. Bucky soon realizes that his girlfriend had ties to the deceased, and soon after that, he begins uncovering corruption and conspiracy within the police department.
4. Ripley’s Game
Tom Ripley – cool, urbane, wealthy, and murderous – lives in a villa in the Veneto with Terry, his harpsichord-playing girlfriend. A former business associate from Berlin’s underworld pays a call asking Ripley’s help in killing a rival. Ripley – ever a student of human nature – initiates a game to turn a mild and innocent local picture framer into a hit man. Luckily for you all, I could not find a video clip of this movie; therefore I have selected a photo of grass growing, which is about as interesting as this film and as talented as its main actor, John Malkovich.
3. Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
Sissy Hankshaw is born with enormous thumbs that help her hitchhiking through the US from a young age. She becomes a model in advertising and her NY agent ‘the Countess’ sends her to his ranch in CA to shoot a commercial, set against the background of mating whooping cranes. There, she befriends Bonanza Jellybean, one of the cowgirls at the beauty- ranch. A boring film from a director I like a lot – Gus Van Sant.
2. Safe
Carol, a typical upper middle-class housewife, begins to complain of vague symptoms of illness. She “doesn’t feel right,” has unexplained headaches, congestion, a dry cough, nosebleeds, vomiting, and trouble breathing. Her family doctor treats her concerns dismissively and suggests a psychiatrist. Eventually, an allergist tells her that she has Environmental Illness. Her body is rebelling against the overload that her immune system has to deal with, as she is continually exposed to all of the chemicals that we inhale, ingest, and absorb daily.
1. Gerry
Sadly, a second film by Van Sant makes the list: A friendship between two twenty-something men is tested to its very limits when they go on a hike in a desert and forget to bring any water or food with them. This is basically a film of Matt Damon and Casey Affleck (Ben’s brother and the better actor of the two) walking around. Incredibly dull. The only good thing is the cinematography which is quite stunning in parts.
Some plot text taken from IMDB
ok you’ve got mail rocked! Check out the film ‘Everything’s Gone Green’ It’s got that stoner dude from Road Trip. It was pegged as a crrrraaaaazzzy film about pot but was just about that boring ass actor finding himself while living in British Columbia. I dont even recall people smoking in it…
Was so bored and confused by Ocean’s 12 that I quit watching it on DVD after about half an hour. Considering how much I love Brad and George this was one big decision!
Dr. Goodtimes:
Going Overboard? Really? You know it’s rated #17 on IMDB’s worst films ever list, right?
I liked Punch Drunk Love because the characters were believable, and I sympathized with them even though there were pathetic and occasionally annoying (which made them all the more true to life). I mean, who didn’t cheer when Sandler beat the crap outta those guys with a crowbar? Also, this movie was infinitely more hilarious than anything with Sandler I’ve ever seen.
And whoever is dissing on Eternal Sunshine; that movie is one of the best romantic comedies of all time.
I wish you’d given reasons for hating these films — not that they don’t deserve to be on here, it just would have been more entertaining.
Vanilla Sky was boring because for the majority of the movie I had no effing idea what was going on. I had to watch it three times.
Oh my god, Children of Men was bad. That’s a movie I shut off after a half hour. I read the book and love Clive Owen and Alfonso Cuaron, but it did nothing for me.
Haha, French Lieutenants Wife — The only entertaining part of the movie was when they had *****, and it lasted all of seventeen seconds. Which is why it was entertaining.
I wonder why so many ppl feel ‘Lost in Translation’ is boring, ok the pace is slow but its a really good flick.
Oh but the original of ,Vanilla sky’, called ‘Open your Eyes’ is really good, especially uncensored!
TMo- I was kidding. And completely agree with you on Eternal Sunshine, it’s one of my top 5 favorite movies ever. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.
Another one to add to the pile is “The Terminal.” It was as interesting as sitting in an actual airport terminal for 2 hours.
OK Dr., PHEW* i had hoped you were being sarcastic. I haven’t seen it myself, but it sure looks like a stinkbomb. Yes, Eternal is the *****, as Charlie Kaufman is the *****.
uncensored eh?…gotta check it out then…:-)
Being Human with Robin Williams – first and only movie I ever fell asleep while watching it at a theater.
No one mentioned The Bedroom Window. Very boring.
jfrater – As you might have guessed from some of our previous movie discussions, I’m a huge Kubrick fan. Maybe it was because I was so over-excited to see another Kubrick movie that I was so dissapointed with Eyes Wide Shut. I understand what he was trying to do and I respected him for trying. But after watching it again for the first time last week, I concluded that it was one long boring disaster. I love Kubrick, but that’s just hard to watch.
I concur. Kubrick is one of my favorite filmmakers, yet Eyes Wide Shut was a total drag.
jfrater; I don’t know how old you are, but I loved 2001 (the sequel coulda’ made this list though), younger viewers wouldn’t appreciate the breakthroughs in this film, nor understand most of the symbolism,,,,they’re so jaded and expect instant gratification.
Eyes wide Shut, I dunno what it was about
Naked Lunch was horrible and I don’t wanna know what it was about
And to save myself pain and disappointment I don’t watch any sappy romantic crap,,,unless it has some good historical/true underpinning ie; A Beautiful Mind
I will never watch When Harry met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle or the list goes on and on…
HAH Naked Lunch was awesome.
My…Dinner…With…Andre. Sorry. Yes, I get what was trying to be achieved, and I could have hung in there for 45 minutes and been okay with it, but any longer than that? Talented, inspired, well done, and …boring.
Good list. I actually had to do the website for “Safe.” I always watched the movies before I did the site, but I have to admit I made it about half an hour in before I had to give up. Something about Julianne Moore’s always bugged me (she’s good in the right role, like Boogie Nights), and this role just accentuated everything I don’t like about her. And she might have been the best thing about this movie. Take a ritalin, make a pot of strong coffee, maybe you’ll do better than me.
this is too subjective to make a list about. there is no criteria, it’s personal opinion.
lost in translation was brilliant by the way
I loved Vanilla Sky and as a guy I’m ashamed to admit it, but I really like You’ve got Mail.
I’d add *****tette to the list but it’s not boring. It’s much like watching a train wreck.
I bought Eyes Wide Shut just for the Nicole Kidman nudity!!! (it was only $5 in the bargain bin)
I was hoping AI would be a little more exciting, but no.
Mom242: I’m 25 and appreciated the brilliance behind 2001, although I have to agree that it was…very…slooowwww.
I forgot Solaris! Wow…boring.
Malena992: Yeah. What one person finds boring another finds riveting. It all depends on how the story is being told. I think this list should have been constructed more with what movies the general populace couldn’t interact with vs. what the individual person thought.
Aw, i thought Vanilla Sky was great! Every minute.
And being a girl i do love You’ve Got Mail. Was it smart and complex?..No. But it entertained me.
I wholeheartedly agree with Black Dahlia…i fell asleep watching it so that qualifies as boring to me even though i didn’t really watch it.
How about Zodiac? I thought that was one of the worst movies last year. My boyfriend and I saw it in the theater and we’re so disappointed. The critics seem to love it, and it did great at the box office. Anyone else find it went on and on?
AI is definitely a long boring drag. I liked You’ve Got Mail though. Vanilla sky just completely confused me until the end and i couldn’t stand it.I never even made it through more than a couple scenes of Black Dahlia when my boyfriend rented it. I haven’t even seen any of the other movies. I agree with Cedestra about Solaris, i tried to watch it a dozen times and could never make it past the first couple scenes.
I agree – AI was awful, Steven Speilberg RUINED it. Too bad Kubrik didn’t live long enough to finish it, it would have been much better.
You got it all wrong: Kubrick ASKED Spielberg to direct it because he thought he wouldn't achieve something satisfying for him, not because he was gonna die! And actually, this movie was Spielberg's resurrection from the creative void he was stuck in since the mid-80's…
To each his own, but RIPLEY’S GAME is a terrifc movie. It has a 95% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
melloyello: I thought it was a long movie sure, but there’s a lot of territory to cover in Robert Greysmith’s book. Unlike say Silence of the Lambs which focuses on mainly Clarice, Zodiac had two reporters and two inspectors lives to cover. I liked it because it wasn’t like the serial killer movies we’ve seen (I liked it because it reminded me so much of Silence actually).
Another boring movie I thought of was Malick’s New World. Holy *****, the only thing that has put me to sleep faster was my old seminary teacher.
Am I honestly the first person to mention ‘Waterworld’?
I am quite glad to know that I have not ever seen any of the movies on here…though I have heard of a few of them!
Me-”Citizen Kane
Gone With the Wind
Generally, I like classic movies, but these 2 bored me to tears.”
Jim-”Citizen Kane / GWTW “Boring”. Unlike you, people are STILL talking about them 60 plus years later. One might also be tempted to ask YOU how much “box office” you’ve generated?”
Me Again-”Wait, you mean the comments that I left on somebody’s blog giving my opinions of a couple of movies I didn’t like aren’t going to be discussed in depth (preferably in some sort of roundtable format) from now until 2068? Not to mention the apparent collapse (due, of course to your impeccable logic) of my brilliant 3 step plan to generate untold millions of box office revenue with my blog commenting abilities. (Step 1. Comment on someone’s blog Step 2. ??? Step 3. Box Office Revenues!!!)
Frankly my dear Jim, I don’t give a damn.
…and neither does Rosebud.
Cheers!
)
I just need to say… AI is one of my favorite movies. I havent watched other movies from the list.
BORING??? … was brutally murdered??? You should be more carefull with wat movies you put in this list…..
didn’t the english patient win oscars??
As soon as I saw ‘You’ve Got Mail’ here, I thought back to that scene in ‘Undeclared’ with Seth Rogen and Charlie Hunnam on the couch watching it, and the expression on the latter’s face.
As for “Gerry”, when I worked at a movie store, we actually had to -warn- people when they rented it. Every single person who rented it brought it back complaining about it. I never did find a customer who liked it.
Eight Below belongs on here. That is the absolute most boring movie ever. The guy whines that his dogs are in the arctic. Meanwhile they show the dogs walking around doing stuff. The director clearly tries to take advantage of the cute element. Eventually the guy goes on his own, and because some friend of his who rejected him is randomly inspired, the friend brings more of his friends and they all help him. And they save the dogs. How exciting! And how predictable…
“Le Dernier Combat” was difficult for me to sit through the first time round. I think that was mostly because it didn’t have any dialogue in it, so I was totally lost nearly the entire time. My lit professor, who’d recommended it, said that that was what gave it charm, and so I watched it a second time and had to concede it had somewhat grown on me. Not something I’ll be jumping up to watch on a boring Saturday afternoon, though.
And I have to say, I agree completely with “You’ve Got Mail,” “Vanilla Sky” and “AI”. Tedious to sit through, and I didn’t even make it all the way through “Vanilla Sky”. I’ve never been a Tom Cruise fan, though, so I may have been bias to begin with.
Oh, and John Malkovich’s voice gives me tingles. I love him, and was able to forgive him for “Con Air”, even though it was a close call. Not so sure about “Eragon”, though (shudders).
Le Dernier Combat is actually by far Luc Besson's best movie.
Please don’t forget Sense and Sensability. What an absolute pile of rubbish. To quote Sideshow Bob; ” This is lying. That was a well thought out peice of non-claptrap that never once made me want to retch.”
What the hell was the point of the movie?
“Safe” is terrifying. No, it’s not a slasher horror flick, but it is terrifying all the same. And it is brilliant. Todd Haynes is a genius!!
Context and expectations.
Sitting in a bar one night with a buddy discussing films. Conversation turned to great war movies. Another patron submitted that “The Thin Red Line” was perhaps the greatest war movie ever made. Neither my buddy or myself had seen it so a couple of days later we rented it. It put both of us to sleep. Next time at the bar, to said patron, “Dude, that was NOT a war movie.”
Where’s Memoirs of a Geisha?
Now that’s boring
“Ali” starring Will Smith was a monstrously self-indulgent exercise in biopic rubbish. It should have been at the top of the list; I fell asleep half way through. Kudos on “The English Patient.” There should be a list for most boring books because this title would top that as well. I liked “Vanilla Sky,” it was trippy.
I can’t believe nobody else has mentioned “In the Bedroom” yet. Yes, I know it was supposedly brilliant, but I could barely get through it. Three-quarters of the movie can be summed up in one sentence: Some people’s son dies, and they feel sad. Except for a tiny bit of action at the beginning and end, that’s pretty much it.
“The Hours” was very dull too (and yes, I know everyone here will probably disagree with me on this). The most exciting scene was probably when Virginia Woolf/Nicole Kidman gave a bird a funeral…
I completely agree with poptart on “Children of Men”. Everything about it sucked, but Julianne Moore was undoubtedly one of the worst parts. I was thanking my lucky stars her character died so quickly.
vanilla sky, Ai and Legends of the Fall were definitely as boring as hell. I agree with whoever wrote that ‘Meet Joe Black’ should be on here.
I don’t think anyone has brought up Gus Van Sants ‘Last Days’, which is loosely based on Kurt Cobain’ last days alive.
The movie is less than an hour and half long, but it took me almost five days to watch it (in stretches of around 15 minute viewings, and I was usually drinking copiously). I swear, if my life was like what Cobain’s was at that point (as far as the movie goes) I would blow my head off with a shotgun…
The funny thing was few days after I saw it a guy I know said he thought it was “Brilliant”, and I never bothered to listen to him again.
davo: Similar thing I had w/Joe Black (like Last Days), only I never finished it.
Did the angel of death fall in love and eat peanut butter forever (I at least saw the first 30 minutes or so of the movie).
Slapshot 2!
Synopsis: Loser team keeps losing.
Loser team gets bought by money grubbing mogul under the guise of benevolent dysney-like ceo to be the “losers” in a series of Globetrotters-on-ice type ice hockey games.
Loser team keeps losing to sham winning team.
They have had enough! So the latest in the series of sham games sees them up the ante of checks and slams into a “real” game of ice hockey.
Loser team JUST beats sham winning team (which are now the losers).
Smiles all around but everybody loses. Including the viewers.
Steven Baldwin’s mullet sucks.
What the hell was slapshot 1 all about??
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless was boring and so was The Hours…BAD!
I nearly fell asleep reading the descriptions of these movies!
Eternal Sunshine sucked some major donkey waffles. I cant even believe that i watched all of it.
I dont care how “classic” its considered to be, Citizen Kane was an eventless movie which can only be appreciated for its graceful order. Greatest Film of all time? pfft – For its time perhaps, and even that is a dear stretch.
Although I love this movie and edward norton – 25th hour was a relatively dead movie.
AVP – Requeim dont even get me started. 6 seperate groups of people must have left the theater.
Crash was a good movie but i couldnt watch it again.
The Good Shepard – Extremely Dull. I’ll think of more.
poop is a boring movie
I would have added Fargo into that list…I kept falling asleep durring that movie
Fargo is the Coen brothers' masterpiece.
i can’t grasp how either eternal sunshine or fargo could be considered boring films at all.
each to his own, i guess.
i must agree with poptart and M.B. that children of men was indeed a major disappointment.
MEET JOE BLACK! (-0 ZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Didnt read the entire forum but i u nissed out oun ‘the house of sand and fog’ or even ‘the ring 2′ but the worst of all… ‘waterboy’ some mite love it but i thort it was damn boring
What language is that, please?
The Piano !!!
Schindlers List, too much tedium to list really
sorry but i love AI… ei you did not respond to my comment on your parodies list….
i haven’ watch half of those movies, but those i watched weren’t boring. especially IA
@jayson:
I agree, AI was a great movie!
Has anyone ever heard of the movie Dead Man with Johnny Depp. My husband loves it, we own it, I have never made it past the first 20 minutes and it is in black and white. It is so slow and dull and painful to sit thru. I dont know anyone beside the hubby who has even heard of it.
Very contemplative, but one of Jarmush's very best movies. And what's wrong with black & white? Especially in this film: the DP did an amazing job.
Susan:
I own that movie, and I love it! You’re right it is quite slow, yet very contemplative and ultimately engrossing, in my opinion. Sort of puts me in a trance when I re-watch it.
Susan:
Yeah, me too! It is slow but as commented above, totally engrossing.
The existentialism and the casual cannibalism… ism ism ism!
Black Dahlia belongs on here, but not vanilla sky, I can see how some people may not have enjoyed the movie, but it definitely wasn’t boring. Lets talk about some very current disappointments, like Zodiac and Rescue dawn. Those hurt to sit through so much, and a big part of it is that I wanted so much for them to be good, but they were just awful. There is no theme or purpose to either of the movies they just go on and on acting so pretentiously like they have some point or message to convey but they don’t they just suck and they try to cover it up with implying somehow that it all means something and it’s just crap.
What a bad list.