When it was developed almost 11 years ago, the USB port, which stands for Universal Serial Bus; creators envisioned it as a way to make it easy for users to attach devices to their PC’s. By simplifying things for product developers and users, this new and simple format gave way for not only these developers, but for budding designers to have a new medium to come up with any kind of wacky device they pleased. An increasing number of oddball peripherals have appeared in recent years, and with that some corporate cadavers have taken on to collecting these strange USB gadgets. Chances are, one of them works in your office, showing off his collection of eyesores valiantly on his desk.
The time has come to stop forcing yourself to drink tepid Pepsi while forgetting yourself in the mountains of work at your desk! Plug the USB Fridge into your computer while you are working, place a beverage inside and get ready to enjoy your choice of tasty liquid at a cool 47 degrees Fahrenheit.
As useful and compliant as your PC may be, at some point you probably just want to clobber it into a million tiny pieces. Here we introduce the device that will save you thousands of dollars and hours of cleanup time. The ScreenSmasher is a foam mallet that comes with a USB sensor. Take the stress relieving smack at your screen and your Windows Desktop will automatically display the image of shattered glass – also with a realistic crash sound effect.
True, the flash drive is a far cry from a bizarre USB device – but it is the price tag of this attractive accessory that puts it on this list. Introduced at the CeBIT show in Hannover, Germany, this exclusive USB key seems to be marketed mainly for its exquisite exterior – as its memory capacity wasn’t even mentioned at its premiere. It was later released that capacities will include 128MB, 256MB, 512MB and 1024MB. This gold-plated, diamond-encrusted USB memory stick is also adorned with a hefty price tag of 2,950-euro or $3,500!
Tired of your monotonous office work day after day, caught up in the rat race of the working world? Ready for the perfect way to lift your spirits and send laughter tearing through the office? Introducing the USB Hampster Wheel! Just plug it into your USB port, load the software provided and watch your furry friend as you type: the hampster gets running and spins the wheel around in the process, spinning even faster as your typing speed increases!
You’ve got to do something with your unused USB ports, so why not fill it up with something totally useless like these USB dogs? A more family-friendly version then its “humping dog” predecessor, you can watch the USB Exercising Dog as he works his washboard abs to perfection!
For the multitasking, facebook-addicted Ghostbuster, here is the USB device you’ve been searching for. The USB Ghost Radar supposedly does just as it says, detect ghosts. This gadget is actually quite complex. Using sensors and alert lights, and an algorithm it detects any paranormal activity – all the while factoring in biometric feedback from your skin, along with many other features. Plug in the USB Ghost Radar and it will beep in rhythm with specific light patterns depending on the paranormal activity around you. The volume and intensity of the beeps supposedly indicates how close your ghost is. The lights help you figure out the ghost’s position, movement, and the risk possibilities.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a little buddy that could just sit right next to your computer and make stupid faces? Plug Mr. Tengu into your USB port and he will sit contently at your desk making weird faces with changes in sound, and will take naps when his daily face making routine becomes too exhausting.
Now I know what you’re thinking…. “Besides the high ‘coffee-spilling-all-over-the-desk’ chances, isn’t that going to be tough to use?” In fact, the MugMouse was created with the deliberate intention by SLOWEB Peripherals “to provide an alternative to the fast global flow of information”. This infrared mouse follows your movements and the mouse button at the bottom of the mug is clicked by pushing the whole mug towards the table; And as an added bonus, this handy mug not only holds 150mL of your favourite hot drink, but keeps it steamy with the built-in heater. So for those who are looking for a speed reduced computer mouse that doubles as a coffee mug – this little diddy is for you!
Though this “heavy duty” memory stick is not yet patented and ready to sell to the public – I can’t help but applaud this device’s creator Chris Spurgeon for attempting to find the solution to our age’s miniature flash drives going missing. Converting his 16 pound bowling ball into a memory stick he asks himself “Let’s see if I send that through the laundry by mistake!” On the practical side though, I hope when using it he doesn’t attach it directly to his laptop…
Ever wonder what it would feel like to see your face on a 5 dollar bill? A postage stamp? How about a piece of toast? A finalist in the 2008 Electrolux Design Lap competition, the USB Scan toaster uses hot wires that rotate within a 30° radius to “burn” anything you want onto your piece of toast; the news, weather or snapshots – the delicious possibilities are endless!
Utterly pointless!?!?
I have always felt an underlying urge somewhere inside my soul to have my face burnt onto a piece of toast.
lol, i know
Amazing list.
I think #7 is cute.
USB Scan Toaster……….. I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!
Price, somebody????
Great list!!
All of available @ thinkgeek.com or somewhere stacked up around my computer
First time being less than like 60 on a listverse list!
Sadly I know some of these, and have a USB drink chiller…
Ya I have to say there is not a single thing on here that is pointless. They are all sweet!
weird stuff
Well-titled list.
well, this is not the same list as the one at oddee
http://oddee.com/item_96561.aspx
it’s just really, really similar.
How is the toaster useless??? That is like my ultimate birthday/Christmas gift… Sweet burned-in-images on fresh toast *drools*
funny list
jfrater-
i hate to say it, but the new home page reminds me of theirs too:
http://oddee.com/
-of course yours is still classier and has less clutter from crappy ads, but it’s worth noting. their site tries to do the same “list” thing as yours (but without comments! for shame!) and they updated first, so i noticed.
LV is much, much better, but being visually distinctive doesn’t hurt. just thought it was worth pointing out for you to consider as you put more effort into the redesign.
I’m not gonna lie. Some of these are pretty damn cool.
And I think the layout is just fine. I like its simplicity. The old layout was too cluttered and had too many outdated featured discussions (“Is America Ready for a Black President?”…nearly half a year after Election Day!).
Great list but i think it is mislabeled. I think it should simply be top 10 usb devices.
I think I may go out and buy everyone. Well, except for #8.
Howz abt a list featuring usb devices we wish were available? For e.g a device that senses our moods and opens up suitable web sites or plays a suitable song from the hard disk.
Nice list though, if it’s original i.e
You’ve got the wrong dog on the list, you need the USB… see for yourself…
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/9c89/
Utterly pointless
Great list. I want all of them, but I cant figure out which one bears the least shame.
When did we start getting PC? Family friendly? Really?
Ummm i would have to say some of these things are more awesome then ridiculous, the fridge is whats up, think about on the road, in the car warm soda can be gone.
for the record, ALL of them are pointless! because they are USB devices…
think about it, if you’re traveling and running a laptop off battery do you really want to drain that battery to make toast then chill a soda?
and if you’re anywhere else on earth with wired electricity to power your laptop/desktop from a wall outlet, then any and all of these gizmos would be more effective if they had regular plugs!
seriously, if you see your computer as just a glorified power strip you are probably forfeiting your right to use said computer. and let’s not even talk about how doing so is an insult to the fundamental concept of using electricity more efficiently in general…
not saying the devices themselves aren’t nifty, but needing to attach them to your computer is the polar opposite of useful or cool.
p.s. i will grant an exception for the function of the “scan toaster” that obviously needs to be connected to your computer in order to get the data of the shape you want to burn into your toast. so unless they equip the jesus-on-my-toast-maker with a wireless (bluetooth, etc.) way to get its shape data from a computer (or phone or whatever) it does have a valid reason to be connected to the computer.
same thing for the actual USB data drives, you need to plug them in to store anything. that doesn’t excuse them for being ostentatious and silly, but it at least makes sense.
lo -
started a thread @ forums to discuss some of your observations about the other site. also, deals w/ early critiques of the changes on this site.
http://listverse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1671
check it out.
goes for anyone interested in discussing site changes. pro/con. in more detail. there is also at least one other thread in forums about site changes too.
re number 1, now the virgin mary makes sense.
The fridge and toaster appeal to my lazy side- just keep a 24 of pepsi, a loaf of bread and some Nutella by my desk (maybe also some fruit, just to be healthy), I won’t have to get up all day! If I could get a toilet to attach to my USB, morbid obesity will be just around the corner!
i love item # 1..that’s cooooolll !!! ü
I would most certainly buy all of these, and use them also.
The USB Fridge – One can of soda? What you don’t have a break room in your office? Yea, this one is completely pointless.
Monitor Smasher – Albeit creative, yet still pointless.
Gold Flash Device – Yea, it’s overpriced and all…but it would be really cool if used for James Bond-type hacking work. Or for trying to impress a chick who is both into Louis Vuitton and Linux.
Hamster (not Hampster) Wheel – I don’t know. Maybe some burnt-out loser with a dead-end job “in the rat race” might get some relief from watching an artificial rodent run in a wheel…over…and…over…and..over…and over… HA! Who says ingenuinity is dead in America?
Exercising Dog – Yea, that pretty much defines pointless. Hey! Why not a Rhinoceros that says the word “Jungle” every 5 seconds? Or maybe a monkey that keeps taking its hand from its butt and putting it in its mouth? Or maybe a Rubik’s Cube which randomly switches to another permuatation? I mean, at least give the Fridge for at least TRYING to be something practical.
Ghost Detector – Okay, this is really STUPID. (Not that ghosts don’t exist, however) It’s just that while it is true you can detect ghosts with EMF meters, having a cheap EMF meter right next to your computer which emits a HIGH dosage of EMF energy makes it completely useless. It’s kinda like putting a thermometer in a pot of boiling water and concluding the temperature around you is 250 degrees.
Mr. Tengu – What kind of name is that? And yea, that is pointless. Actually, just looking at that thing makes me want to break it.
Coffee Mug Mouse – Ah yes! Just what I wanted! A mouse I have to move a half an inch a second for my computing needs! Okay LV people, just imagine your mouse was cup of hot java. Now move it like you would a hot coffee cup. Isn’t it fun taking 7 seconds to move a mouse pointer from the bottom of your screen to the top?
Bowling Ball USB – Great idea. It’s durable, hard to lose, you can take it bowling, use as an impromptu weapon in a dire situation, or even hide secret data on there since most people wouldn’t look for files in a bowling ball.
USB Toaster – Come on, this is BRILLIANT. Just think of all the fun you could have with this. Obviously you could scan a pic of Jesus or Mary on it then show your co-workers that you are the recipient of a divine miracle. Or maybe print out a witty pick up line on it and give it to the hot chick in HR…”Eat Me, and maybe I could Eat You later?” or something. It certainly is an ice-breaker, I give it that.
wow a usb toaster that is insane i would love to see someone plug that bowling ball usb into a tower without the weight pulling it back out
I wouldn’t say useless, but weird is more appropriate
Raising the bar on the standard of lists with this one. Id say this list was utterly pointless.
But… i actually like some of them ideas
Crimanon (#17), thanks for being the one to bring up that particular exercise in vulgarity. I’ve seen those at Fry’s, and consider them a lot more pointless than anything else on the list.
Cory (#28), thanks for commenting on the correct spelling of the word “hamster” (note that unlike the rodent itself, the word does not have a “p”). Glad I’m not the only one who notices and is bugged by spelling errors (especially repeated ones).
Bizarre set of gadgets out there.
Interesting List I must say… I’ve thought of a couple usb devices myself:
USB Crack Pipe – no lighters needed
USB Condom Machine – play safe
USB Girlsfriends Special Dates Reminder – all guys need
USB Cristiano Ronaldo Freekick Taker – office entertainment
USB ***** Hologram – hmm… office entertainment
I was gonna get the USB fridge for my bf actually, he works in the Caribbean and it’s a pain having a can of juice on your desk and then realising it’s all warm and flat!
The ghost detector is hilarious!!!
The toaster isn’t useless. You could make a living selling Jesus toast on eBay.
Where do you buy these wonderful things?????
Mmmmmmm, tasty tasty face-toast.
wow that was cool but we could use that smart person time in other ways like fixing the US and world economy
34.
The first lolworthy post today!
Well I’m going to make it my life’s goal to get all of these
cym my dear, i’m a little saddened that my:
#22. ” the jesus-on-my-toast-maker”
wasn’t taken in the same vein. ah, well…
lo,
I apologise – I only briefly scrolled through! Of course your tongue in cheek jesus freak bash was amusing!
But it was the second of the two posts I read so yours, I suppose, is the second lolworthy comment
The scan toaster is pretty cool, I could actually see it selling if it’s reasonably priced
i can spend money on toaster
aaaa i want the USB fridge ! It’s so awesome. I need this at my workplace..where can i buy it from? does anyone know?
Ok… I want one of those hamster wheels. And that toaster is awesome too =D
I LOVE THESE USB THINGS!!!!!!!!!!
they are my life!!!
@Cyn or @Mom : hey how come my comments are being banned… ok I admit the last list I was saying bad things, but I wrote a really cool comment for this list and you dismissed it! I’m trying to redeem myself and you not helping at all!!
*admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. continue to act like a human being & not an asshat & you shall be saved.
*
Cyn
I was waiting for the USB Rocket Launcher (http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/warfare/8a0f/). Great list.
that toaster is so awesome! i want one!
i want the USB Monitor Smasher
=P
I had a toaster that put mickey mouse on my toast as a child, and then it broke and I was very sad. I’d like to eat Mickey Mouse toast once more.
My USB is neon pink, but that’s not weird
I would buy so much of this stuff. I don’t know whether to be ashamed… or really ashamed.
I’d love to track down #5 for a friend of mine. She loves ghost-related stuff.
I would love to have the toaster one and the screen smasher. Too bad it doesn’t work on co-workers!
I did see another USB one that….well, you couldn’t take this one into the office. It was a light up penis. o.O
btw…Very nice list!
I want them all!!
USB Urinal & Urine Purifier?? Ugh. those are genius ideas. Maybe the purified remnants can be cooled in the refrigerator for a quick drink, or even made into a flavoured jelly to be used on the personal toast. You are sorted my friend.
Great list SaraB. Love these pointless USB things. I dont mind a USB clone for me, that does all the work while I goof off.
There is no P in hamster! Gah!
Excellent SaraB, an adequate paradigm of human imbecility.
My kind of list!
I need a usb boss detector.:)