Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who publishes her intent to marry someone from another – usually more financially developed – country. Historically, mail-order brides were women who listed themselves in catalogs and were selected by men for marriage. Sometimes the men and women involved were citizens of different countries, e.g. women from European countries moving to the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries, and sometimes they involved citizens of the same country. This list looks at ten facts about mail order brides that you may not know.
Most people think that Russian brides are desperate women who want nothing more than to marry a foreigner (preferably American) to get the hell out of Russia and start a new life. But in fact, this is almost always incorrect. Russia has a man shortage; there are roughly 8 men for every 10 women in a culture which is very marriage-oriented. Consequently, many Russian women are compelled to look outside of Russia for a husband. As one mail order bride company says: “[Russian Brides] feel as if you were one of the guys who would approach her at a bar: where she can say, “yes” if she likes you, and “thanks, but no, thanks” if she doesn’t.”
Being a mail-order bride can be very dangerous. There are at least four recent cases of American men murdering (sometimes quite brutally) their mail-order bride. But it does go both ways: there is also a case of a mail-order bride murdering her American husband. Before involving yourself in the mail order marriage industry, it pays to really consider the reasons behind your future wife or husband using this method to find their partner for life. You might get lucky and meet someone leaving their home country for the reasons cited in item 10, but you might be one of the unlucky ones who ends up dead. here is the description of just one such case:
Anastasia King, a young woman from Kyrgyzstan, was found strangled and buried in a shallow grave in Washington state in December 2000. At the age of 18, Anastasia had received an email from a 38-year-old Seattle man, Indle King, from a mail order bride website. He flew to her country and they were married soon after. Two years later, after considerable strife, Indle wanted another bride. He was allegedly unwilling to pay for a divorce so he ordered a tenant in their Washington home to kill Anastasia. Weighing nearly 300 pounds, her husband pinned Anastasia down while the tenant strangled her with a necktie. Both were convicted of murder.
The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through [mail order bride] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “… mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.”
The concept of mail-order brides was first seen on the American frontier during the mid-1800s. Men from the East were migrating West in hopes of claiming land, farming, establishing businesses, and finding gold. Most of these men found financial success in the migration West, but the one thing that was missing was the company of a wife. Very few women lived in the West at this time, so it was hard for these men to settle down and start a family. Their only choice was to attract women living back East; the men wrote letters to churches and published personal advertisements in magazines and newspapers. In return, the women would write to the men and send them photographs of themselves.
At least two types of “international marriage agencies” exist. The first type sells female clients’ contact information and encourages men and women to correspond prior to meeting. The second type offers “group tours” for men who want to travel around a foreign country and meet up to a hundred women at social events organized by the agency. If an American male wishes to use the first type, they must supply mental health information and criminal history, and, if they do make a match, will eventually be required to meet the bride in person before she can obtain a US visa.
Johns Hopkins University offers a course called “Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context” which is supposedly a deep look into Filipino kinship and gender. Why a person would want to study this subject is beyond me, but there must be at least a small amount of demand out there.
Since 2003 Australian Federal Government’s resolve to decrease what was deemed ‘inappropriate immigration’ by then-Prime Minister John Howard has gained momentum. Initial reactions to the program were mixed. The Australian public further embraced their government’s new policies following the media frenzy of the Jana Klintoukh case; this case first exploded into the public’s view when current events program, Today Tonight, aired footage of a young Russian-born Australian, claiming she was imported via an Internet site and was used as a sexual slave by her ‘husband’ while being confined to his Sydney home.
The Philippines prohibits the business of organizing or facilitating marriages between Filipinas and foreign men. The Philippine congress enacted Republic Act 6955 or the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law in 1990 as a result of stories that appeared in the local press and media about Filipinas being abused by their foreign husbands. Because of this, Filipinas often use “reverse publications” – publications in which men advertise themselves – to contact foreign men for marriage on behalf of the Filipina women.
There is a lot of money to be made in the mail order bride industry. In Taiwan, mail-order brides are sourced primarily from Mainland China and Southeast Asia, especially Vietnam. The common age range for Vietnam women range from 20 to 28 years of age. On average, Taiwanese men spend USD $10,000 on this type of marriage; however, only USD $500 to USD $1,000 dollars will be received by the bride’s family and the remainder taken by marriage brokers of the groom and the bride. That is a damn high profit margin.
On November 18, 2004, a federal jury in Baltimore, Maryland awarded Ukrainian mail-order bride Nataliya Fox $433,500 ($341,000 of which were punitive damages) against international marriage broker Encounters International and its Russian immigrant owner, Natasha Spivack (pictured above). Spivack arranged Nataliya’s marriage to an American man with a history of violently abusing women and who, after being matched with Nataliya, abused her over the course of their marriage. The jury found the marriage broker guilty of fraud, unfair and deceptive trade practices, willful and wanton negligence, unauthorized appropriation of Ms. Fox’s name and likeness, and defamation. The jury found the mail order bride company (Natasha Spivak) liable for failing to tell Nataliya about a federal law that allows foreign nationals to escape abusive marriages without fear of automatic deportation, and for actively misleading her about her legal options. The jury also found EI (Natasha Spivak) liable for misrepresenting that it screened male clients when it did not; and publicizing Nataliya’s marriage to Mr. Fox as an EI “success” story, without her permission, even after she fled to a domestic violence shelter.
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Ugh…this concept is disgusting.
No what's disgusting is American women and the way they treat men in any level of a relationship.
i couldnt agree more i have a few friends that have gone this way and they couldnt be happier american women are a pain in the ass
Sure, I can see how it would be annoying to have to deal with women who don’t wait on you hand and foot and think that your flabby beer belly is worth pretending to orgasm over for the price of citizenship.
I’m not even an American woman, but there has to be a reason why no young, intelligent, or attractive men seem to have mail-order prides. Seems to be exclusively for middle-aged, ugly mysoginists.
ditto, it’s pathetic :/
@whatevs, I have to disagree. I’m a 29 year old male, fairly attractive, no criminal record, and working on my master’s degree while holding a full time job. I’ve met women at bars, churches, concerts, sporting events, a supermarket, school, and online dating. Speaking from experience, women do not have their priorities straight anymore. Typically what I see is that a woman will fall for some guy who spends all his money on tattoos and trucks and all his time focusing on himself in some regard. They eventually get married, she has two kids, and then they get divorced. After that, THEN that woman will start looking for a guy who has his act together financially and mentally. I understand that by saying this, I may come off as a woman-hater, and that is certainly not the case. I will disrespect a stupid woman just as quickly as I will disrespect a stupid man. I’m not the only person that feels like this either.
So with that said about my experience with american women, I genuinely am considering outsourcing to a mail-order bride. That way, I can finally start a family and be done with dating.
Ha ha check and mate.
im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!
i know what you mean. they can't speak good english too so i have no idea how they understand each other.
“can’t speak good english”…
You don’t either, and yet I can understand you.
Frankly to all the naysayers….mind your own business. Who are you to judge others? Is your life perfect and beyond all reproach? I doubt it.
Finding a suitable partner is hard enough without having to worry if other people will approve. I have a friend who married a black woman…his family freaked out; but years later they love her. I have a Jewish friend who married a Muslim woman….his family freaked out; but years later they love her.
LOL. very true. most couples have a huge age gap between them. I once saw a girl in her early 20′s in the arms of an old american….really old one.
Very interesting list, and I am surprised that a lot of these marriages do in fact work!
They work because they are real women and Ameriskanks like you cannot compete with them.
The number one thing to remember: Make sure you get a mail-order bride and not a male-order bride.
yeah one should double check on spelling before sending one of these
Mail order brides are often a cover for illegal ***** slavery. They often do not CHOOSE to travel to a foreign country but are rather sold via ***** slavery ring. Or, women are promised a husband and instead are made to be prostitutes. Girls as young as 12 have been reported to have been 'advertised' and their is little recourse if they should be abused during the relationship. The incidences of abuse are far more common than portrayed in this list. Hundreds of thousands of women are tracked nationally and internationally with the promise of helping their families or finding a better life. They are sometimes told that if they try to leave they or their family will be killed.
Bullseye.
Great list!
Wow, great list! Long time since a JF list
Good list, informative will use when sorting out
LOL
these lists always make staying up past midnight worth it.
Mail Order Brides are just sad…
Btw good list.
What the hell is that thing in #6?
I wrote a song about mail order brides. I was in the hospital a few years back for a few weeks, and there was this really cute and sweet resident who did GI testing on me. And I thought, “I want to write a song about him.” The “Weekly World News” was still in production, and I saw a personal’s ad in there that was offering mail order brides, and I said “I want to be Dr. Sabastian’s mail-order bride.” So I wrote it, and it’s kitshy, but it’s pretty awesome. Now I just need to record it. (I’d never actually want to be one, though. I’m too much of a liberal feminist.)
I like the list, by the way. Mail order brides have always fascinated me.
It's a sloth :/
so, any listverser’s got a mail order bride? tell us your experiences.
The lady pictured in #6 looks just like… UR MOM!
Good list. It is stuff like this people need to know more about!
Nice list. I do know a thing or two about Filipino mail order brides.
Jfrater makes the best lists on this website hands down bro!
The picture in no 6 is just about the funniest thing ever:-)
Im pretty sure americans are thaking god right now that they won the cold war. A steady supply of hot russian chicks.
?
But #10 doesnt make much sense to me. If the were marrying americans cuz of the type of society that means they would be very traditional people. And if they were tradition, why would they marry americans (not very traditional to me). Plus when you say 8 men for every 10 women that means 2 women get left out. Why are always the hot ones that get left out
I still blame it on the desire to get a us visa and the other material advantages.
nice list , the best in quiet a while
No.6 is a sloth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloth
I’ve always been amazed by this. Seems very, very uncomfortable.
Sloths are funny!
Very thought provoking list…
Why are we always picking on Americans–Do any of these “Brides” go to England-France-Brazil-Iceland? Yeah, this list is too ICELANDIC!!!
Great list. I live in a small mining town in the middle of Australia and i know of 5 mail order brides. But that’s what you get when you live in a town made up of mostly men and a lot of money!
Any of these men want to help me relocate to Australia from the US?
Excellent list. I actually know a few men with mail-order brides. Uniformly the Filipino women are subservient to the men; at least the ones I met. Certainly seems as if they want a servant as much as a wife. Although it might be a fairish trade – I do know that the men do send money home to the in-laws, and a few of them have set up second homes.
I only know one Russian Bride – now a young rich widow. Now I understand why she married the weird old geezer.
Excellent, well-written list – but of course, it’s by JFrater!
I guess you get what you paid for….pffft!
Cool list, jfrater! Loved number one.
I did know about number seven as I had an old newspaper that had an order in it for a mail-order bride. It was interesting to see.
Interestingly vile… Very informative, though. I just do not get why men cannot find a woman near them, that they must do this in the first place, but then there are the men with criminal records…
@Emmett Brown (17):
Lol!
never heard about the whole concept…. until now
Wow! Nice List! I didnt knew a lot of this things mentioned.
I recently saw a tv program talking about Anastacia King in Discovery Channel. This is one of the cons about this mail order brides business.
My old landlord ran a mail order bride company…of course we found this out AFTER we moved in and signed the lease.
Best list in a while! Awesome!
My son’s best friend in kindergarten is the result of a mail-order bride situation. The mother is younger and from the Phillipines. The father is older (one grown child and a few young grandkids but not ancient) and from the USA. She is very much a modern woman and not the subservient type at all. They seem very happy together.
Btw, great list Jamie!
Fact #11 – Most mail order brides come from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, where there is currently a Winter Olympics….
#7
im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!
Fair enough, Now you just stay out of our country.
So everybody, which one is female? Left or right?
Good list. It’s nice to hear the good points about mail order bridal services. I’m sure there are a lot of couples that are happy together!
one of the customers that would come regularly to walmart was a mail order bride, she was really sweet and funny and her husband was a nice older (of course) man actually rather handsome. she always had a smile on her face, always wore very nice fashionable clothes and he just seemed more in awe of her than anything else. theres a certain romantic idea that people can if not fall in love than at least be very happy despite language culture and age. i guess it is the mutual benefit of the guy gets the trophy wife and the woman gets the money and the citizenship but srsly foreign woman can’t be that stupid if their marriage sucks that they have to stay or that culturally bound
of course i am just a naive american girl…oh well
@Jody (21) – reminds me of the mail order bride in “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” with the ping-pong ball trick.
@ruthiezzou (28) – 12-year old Asian girls??? Does Woody Allen know about this?
@nicoleredz3 (25) – if it was easy for people to find a partner near them dating websites would not be a HUGE industry.
See money can buy love!
Nothing says loser (or worse) like a guy using a mail order bride service.
. . . . Uuuuh, ChineapplePunk is an amazing name.
There’s a certain level of exploitation with mail-order brides that makes me uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to think past pasty old white men using their economic capital to gain the loyalty of women who otherwise wouldn’t look twice at them.
Of course, there are stories that go beyond this image in my mind.
A Dutch-Canadian man where I grew up had his family post an ad in a Dutch paper asking for a good Christian Dutch woman for him. A woman responded and they’re still together after about forty years. He never learned to read and the only English he knows consists of basic greetings and “how much for de?” followed by finger pointing. She reads to him and takes care of him. I really don’t know what he would do without her.
It seems like the Chinese are trying to surpassing the west in yet another area. Chinese men are apparently using these international marriage agencies in larger numbers targeting women from Thailand and the Phillipines. In some ways I feel conflicted about the agencies that offer legitimate connections for people. Its creepy that people think they can select a perfect mate from a catalog, but at the same time, its sad that in today’s superconnected society, people feel more lonely then ever and feel they have to reach out thousands of miles for a chance at being happy.
#7
the word you are looking for is exotic, not ugly.
#35
nice come back! im also a filipino, but still, nice comeback ^_^
Nice list JFrater. but you already know that. don’t you get tired of hearing that?
#7 “im from the Philippines,.. and when i go to the mall i notice a number of pinay women having an american companion, and mind u.. i think american men have bad taste when it comes to choosing filipina wives.. theyre wives look ugly.. they should choose a better looking wife or better yet, stay away from our women!”
That is just shallow. As the cliche goes, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. Men from the West see in Filipinas what they cannot find in women from their countries. Same thing as most of us Filipinos want our ladies to look like the Hollywood types (a.k.a. ‘imported’). But we really should appreciate our own beauty. Each nationality is unique. Where’s your pride?
Our high school basketball coach had a mail order bride. We always just thought he was a loser and couldn’t meet a girl on his own. But they seemed happy, in public anyways, so who knows…Just doesn’t seem very genuine.
must be a serious shortage of subjects to make lists about mail order brides jeez
You rock the lists Jfrater!
Fact 12: While Filipinas are often acquired through mail order brides, Filipino men were also able to acquire women through mail order bride and one case concerns a Korean woman. Under the negotiations, women should be able to do a good job in handling the house and be the one to initiate and be aggressive on ***** on the first two days of their marriage life. I cant find the news article posted on the web but will still find it and share it to everyone, especially for Filipinos, for some kind of “payback” and hey, the business might still exist and you could be a new customer
First off, I find the term ‘mail order bride’ very offensive. If a person goes on e-harmony and meets someone from across the country, does that have the same stigma? If not, then what is wrong with seeking compatible companionship elsewhere? After meeting some Filipino people at my church I found them to be very nice people. One of them told me of a relative they had back home. I wrote her. That didn’t work out, but I over time I came into contact with several others. I wrote them as well. After a while we exchanged phone calls. All this time I continued to date American women. I simply found the Filipino women to be nicer. Eventually I met one I ‘really’ liked. We communicated for three years. I visited her country three times. On the third visit we got married. So I found a nice, sweet, compatible woman in another country and we are extremely happy together. So where’s the harm in that?
you know I do not find the term mail order bride offensive., because what I think what is actually offensive if that a Man has to go to a poor county., where a women is at a disadvantage and dangles opportunity in there face, let alone (food) as there ticket to a better life., that is offensive., I bet dimes on dollars that if this person was in the United States that they would not put themself on the market., for desperate men to pray on. It is just so sad and desperate.,
Doing research on this., and it is just so sad the poverty., that these people are in., why not just hand them $5000 and do a good deed, instead of making it a benefit for you., Yes, they will benefit., but at what price., and if they had opportunties., I could bet that they would of never have gone that route.,
No one wants to be with a man out of need, but some have to., fortunately., I live in America., and I have an education., and opportunities ., and I need not need to marry a man in order to be free., kind of like a man., you are free., what if the roles were reversed.,
VERY good point. Its no different than internet dating here in the U.S. Also from first hand accounts from tours to the Russian Federation or Ukraine I can say the women are very sophisticated smart and worldy. Yet they retain a much better temperment than women as a majority in the U.S. They dont have the cultural over reaching of feminism against men. However they are not to be trifled with and they know their worth.
Traditionalism is not weekness and it is something to be admired. Its loss in american women is resulting in at large, a decline in the nuclear family which can affect divorce rates. The few horror stories are from a few bad apples. Also its important to note that men or women killing or abusing their wives or husbands happens everyday in the U.S. between domestic born couples and it never even makes the news. But when its a foriegn girl with an american guy its all of the sudden "OH KNOW,LOOK!" ..?? its rediculous. There are no such things as "mail order brides" people. It takes a tremedous amount of time effort and money and traveling to bring home a girl or guy from a foriegn country it is complex and very trying for the couples. Do your research you cannot just "order one" Also alot of the women are very choosey about who they get engaged to they can afford to..they are by far thinner and more beautiful than American women as a whole, mostly due to differences in eating and dressing habits and social norms. We could learn alot from other countries about such things.
Dammit, JFrater! Where did you get that picture of me used in #6? I didn’t give anyone permission to use my picture!
Besides, I hadn’t put my makeup on…
Not fair!
@Scratch (41): but the fact that the brides take advantage of their youth or whatever to gain capital doesnt bother you. Its a win-win situation for both. But who are we to judge. Lets stop being hypocrites. Its just a business transaction. Im sick abd tired of people trying to define love or what goals are important in life. Will we start judging women for prefering to build a career rather than starting a family?
Ps “pasty old white men” you are now a rasist a *****ist and a gerontophobe.
@Arsnl (51):
I can understand the motivations of both parties involved, but the one-sided advantage that these men enjoy makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m a romantic and an idealist, but I don’t think love and marriage should be a business transaction. Historically it was quite common for marriage to be more of a business transaction, but I like the idea of a love of equal partners versus a man buying the servitude of a woman.
lol. Maybe my statement makes me a racist gerontophobe, but I’m not sure how I’m *****ist. I hope to someday be an old white man. Not a pasty one, but I’ll take that if it’s the requirement for me to get there.
Very informative and entertaining list. Thank you!
Also, I’ll take the two at #2, please… there’s a two for one discount, right?
There was a movie about women moving to the American Frontier. I think it was “Westward the Women” or something like that.
Should have mentioned the “Picture Brides” from Japan in pre-WWII Hawaii. Kind of the same concept. I heard that many of them did not look like the pictures they sent.
@Scratch (52): well scrath we are humans too. How many times have you been in a bar and decided to hit on a hot chick (lets leave the beauty is in the eye of the beholder crap for another topic)? How many times have you noticed a hot chick and ignore the ugly ducklings. Is that compatible with your notion of romance? Two souls meeting united blah blah blah. I do like to think im a romantic too but i admit. My gf first attracted me with her looks. And for me being attracted to looks or money is the same thing- you dont get to know if you are compatible with that person. Thats why i dont see the one sided advantage thing. But i do admit. God wasted a brain on every material person.
@EGM3 (49):
Hey man, good for you. I think that “mail order bride” has been stigmatized by the media pretty bad, but I think it’s also a fairly accurate description of the process–one of those things like the word “retarded” that’s getting so much flak.
Retarded DOES do a good job of describing the mental development of certain people with disabilities, but has also been coopted as a catch-all insult. I think it’s the same thing.
PS. I knew an accountant with a mail order bride who ended up divorcing him and taking their kids. That said, they were married for long enough to have several kids, so it probably wasn’t any shenanigans, just a regular ugly divorce.
PS, I don’t think being pen pals and getting married is the same thing as a mail order bride. Did you find pics of her in a catalogue?
Being the Devil’s advocate…
Women here in America fall for a foreign accent all the time. Maybe not for the goal of marriage, but a foreign accent is soooo chic and “different”.
As a woman, I can also recognize that not all American girls play the field fairly, and sometimes the values we seem to uphold can be a bit askew.
It’s said different strokes for different folks and if that means that some guys only see their marriage chances increased by soliciting to other countries, then perhaps it’s a reflection of some of our(female) values as they have evolved over the last few decades.
There is a big difference in the cultural views of spousal and marital responsibility in other countries, and if it’s working for both parties, who am I to snivel or point fingers.
It’s good to see a Frater list when I got back today. Now has anyone been posted as a winner to the Valentine’s competition?
Bdawg (58): Nope. No catalogs. Again it was thru connections of people I knew at church. Maybe that’s not the same as what JF was talking about. I guess all I’m saying is you don’t have to fall for the girl next door if the girl next door doesn’t appeal to you. It used to be part of romantic poetry and song that a person would search the world to find true love and it’s a sad thing that those who sincerely do get categorized as losers or ‘pasty old white men’.
I used to know a group of Russian mail order brides in Texas through a friend of mine. They were very happy with the way things turned out for them. They had free time and money and got along well with their husbands. Their only complaint: American men don’t eat vegetables
.