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20 Famous Last Words

Jamie Frater . . . Comments

The deathbed can lead people to speak with great honesty and, in many cases, humor. This is a list of 20 last words by famous people.

Isabella Deathbed 400W

1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.

Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.

2. I can’t sleep

Said by: J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan

3. I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

Said by: Humphrey Bogart

4. I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.

Said by: Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian

At times creepy, hilarious, and heartbreaking, read all of history’s most famous final legacies in Famous Last Words, Fond Farewells, Deathbed Diatribes, and Exclamations Upon Expiration at Amazon.com!

5. I live!

Said by: Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.

Nap Deathbed

6. Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me.

Said by: Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.

7. I am perplexed. Satan Get Out

Said by: Aleister Crowley – famous occultist

8. Now why did I do that?

Said by: General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.

9. Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!

Said by: James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.

10. Bugger Bognor.

Said by: King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.

11. It’s stopped.

Said by: Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.

12. LSD, 100 micrograms I.M.

Said by: Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.

Strut your stuff with this classy Aldous Huxley T-Shirt at Amazon.com!

13. You have won, O Galilean

Said by: Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.

14. No, you certainly can’t.

Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.

15. I feel ill. Call the doctors.

Said by: Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)

Image-1

16. Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here

Said by: Nostradamus

17. Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!

Said by: Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.

18. Put out the bloody cigarette!!

Said by: Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.

19. Please don’t let me fall.

Said by: Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.

20. Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Said by: Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

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Jamie Frater

Jamie is the owner and chief-editor of Listverse. He spends his time working on the site, doing research for new lists, and collecting oddities. He is fascinated with all things historic, creepy, and bizarre.

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  • troh23

    "either these drapes go or i do…" (loosely)
    -Oscar Wilde

    i don't know if it's true or not

    • Belinda

      It wasn’t quoted properly in Paris, je t’aime. The real quote is ” My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”

  • Kelsi

    Haha, great list. Enjoyed reading all of those.

  • kelsi: thanks – they are quite amusing :)

  • mix2323

    ‘French Fries’! lol thats a good

  • mix: yeah – that is my favorite one.

  • Makes you kinda wonder what you’re going to say as you go.
    “Excuse me sir. Would you remove your poodle from my belly button.?” “Moo. I like that word. Moo. Yeah.”
    “Oh, you got me!”
    Just something to think for you to think about.

  • Crimanon: I was going to mention that it gives us all cause to consider what our own last words will be. Hopefully something incredibly witty!

  • How about this : Great post …

    Just kidding, still here.

  • Andre: funny man :)

  • greatk

    What about: “Et Tu Brute”? Caesar’s famous last words.

  • asdf

    Oscar Wilde’s last words.

    “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go.”

  • Jason

    “I’ve had eighteen whiskeys. I think that’s the record.”

    -Dylan Thomas

  • Oscar Wilde had alot to say I guess. Who knew he was such an interior decorator. “Alfred there’s something I need to tell you…I wanted the lamp over there….ugh.” Tacky, I know, But Funny.

  • troh23

    asdf,

    thank you. i knew it was something like that.

  • tjgrs

    “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-“—Maj. Gen. John Sedgwick, U.S. Army, just before being fatally shot at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, May 9, 1864.

    “Wait a minute… “-Pope Alexander VI

    “Don’t disturb my equation”-Archimedes

    “I’m bored with it all.”-Winston Churchill

    “Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.”- Del Close

    “Lady, you shot me!”-Sam Cooke

    “This is funny.”-Doc Holliday

  • Wow – thanks for all the additions! Oscar Wilde is one of the wittiest men to have lived.

  • tjgrs

    by the way i love this site, it gives me something to do, my friend showed me this about a month ago and ive been hooked ever since, great job, keep it up

  • tjgrs: thanks :) Spread the news!

  • Ummagumma

    Oscar Wilde’s last words,

    “Either those curtains go, or I do”

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  • cb

    In Australia, perhaps the most famous last words are those of bushranger (ie outlaw) Ned Kelly, who said “Such is life” before being hanged.

  • cb: I heard that phrase used a LOT in New Zealand – it must be an antipodean thing.

  • Annon

    “Thomas Jefferson still lives.”
    -John Adams

    (On his death bed, not knowing Jefferson had died only a few hours earlier-July 4th, 1826. Adams was an US diplomat & politician (1735 – 1826))

    Also kind of odd that both men who were key to US independence died on what is know now as independence day.

  • Annon: that is true – it is quite an interesting story.

  • MrGreen

    “Kiss my ass” John Wayne Gacy Jr.American serial killer.

  • MrGreen: That guy had no remorse at all! There are quite a few interesting last words of killers – it will end up in a list of its own I think!

  • craigl

    tjgrs says

    “This is funny.”-Doc Holliday

    This statement needs context. He said this as he was looking down at his bootless feet while lying in bed. He always figured he would die with his boots on.

  • craigl: thanks for adding that extra info :)

  • june

    loved the stuff u post here!keep it up:-)

  • june: Thanks :)

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  • Midian

    “Don’t let it end like this, tell them I said something!”-Poncho Villa

  • Midian: hilarious.

  • Jack

    “Die my dear doctor?”
    “That’s the last thing I will do!”
    Gladstone

  • alan

    Voltaire’s is the best, hands down.

  • Paul Drago

    “Either those drapes go or I do.”– Oscar Wilde

  • Paul Drago: That has been quite a popular one (starting from comment 9)

  • Kixie

    “Moose. Indian.” Henry David Thoreau

  • Punjar

    The ultimate last words, which should be on the list, are those of Terry Kath, from the band Chicago. His last words were “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded”, then he shot himself.

    Also, I had heard that president Kennedy’s last word were “I’ve been shot” not “no you certainly can’t” though I don’t remember where i heard it and if it was a reliable source.

    • Ian Billen

      How could Kennedy of said anything in reference to being shot? First he was shot in the neck, then the head?

  • Kixie: that sounds like something that would be David Lynch’s last words!

    Punjar: the first is a great addition. The second – I think more famous is the comment from the wife of the governor in whose car Kennedy was travelling who made a comment about how nice the people were being (or maybe it was Jaqueline who said that).

  • kourosh

    Hi,
    Let`s say what we would have said!

  • kourosh: I am too afraid I might jinx my real last words :)

  • heavybison

    The last one(Voltaire) has to take the cake!!

  • Area51

    How about “What’s this button for?” ? :)

  • Sean the pyro

    “Hey guys, check this out.” Said by many a redneck (and I include myself in that catagory) shortly before dying in some incredibly stupid way.

  • landon

    edger allen poe – “god have mercy on my soul” or somthing along that line
    Beethoven – “pity, pity…..too late!”
    Charles Darwin – “I am not in the least bit afraid to die”
    Billy the kid – “who is it?” then BANG!!!! shot to the heart…

    • Americanized Ninja

      Billy the Kid – "Quien es?" to be precise. At which point he either pulled his gun, was shot unarmed, or escaped death depending on who you ask.

  • Fallenangel

    I would like my last words to be something eloquent and intellegent, “I do not fear the beyond, for I’ve had a good life here, with good friends, i’ve been truely blessed etc…” But it will probably be more along the lines of “Get this [email protected]#n cat off me, I can’t breath!” Or “OhCrap!” yes together. If I’m lucky enough ZZZZZZZ :)(:

  • Sean the pyro: hahah – also potential famous last words for the cast of Jackass.

    landon: I didn’t know that about Poe – I love his writing.

    Fallenangel: I think we all hope for the last one :)

  • Erwin

    Plus Luxis (more light) – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    • Nola

      Mehr Licht!
      He was German, after all.

  • Haha I like the French Fries one :)

  • veronica

    i love hector fuentes

  • Drogo

    My uncle’s last words were, “What would happen if I pushed this button?”
    j/k

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  • Drogo

    Oops! I just noticed that Area51 already did the joke.

  • aplspud

    Interesting and amusing list. #11 kind of creeps me out, cause what a horrible thing to be conscious of. Some of them seem a little too convenient and witty, but I guess we’ll never know. I’m really curious about who witnessed #8.

  • nicci.

    Area 51: Yes! The perfect last words!
    Or any variation of ‘Hey guys, watch this!’

    Love the Oscar Wilde one. I’ve got a book sitting here [The Rough Guide To Cult Fiction] that has a few:

    ‘Go away, I’m alright’ – HG Wells.
    ‘Mind your own business’ – Wyndham Lewis [after a nurse asked him about the state of his bowels]

  • Drogo

    My grandfather was a wise man and I will always remember his last words. He said, “Whatever you do, don’t set that THING off in the house!”

    [a joke that I debated about posting]

  • jp

    these are from wikiquote (part of wikipedia) theres some good ones there…theres one guy (who i have forgotten the name of) who’s nurse told a visitor he was getting better…he saids “on the contrary” and died…it think thats the best

  • Jenn

    id say there are alot of funny quotes…but these ones are really good

  • melissa

    i felt bad for marie antoinette.

  • Lela

    I am not sure if you know this, but Joan Crawford’s quote is not necessarily true. There’s alot of speculation on how and when she died. It’s still a great quote and really funny to think about.

  • Eric

    Great list but you missed one of the most famous quotes,(not really humorous but very ironic). On his death bed John Adams said “Jefferson lives” not knowing that Jefferson would also die the same day.

  • bovanity

    How about Jesus Christ: "It is finished!"

    • Immortality

      We’re looking for real last words. I wish people would stop posting whatever. And it was a famous playwright that said “On the contrary.”

  • Don Blosser

    A few interesting last words:

    “Why, yes, a bulletproof vest”. – Domonic Willard (Just before his death by firing squad, when he was asked if he had any last requests).

    “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” — Thomas J. Grasso, a confessed multiple murderer, concerning one item he had requested on a lengthy and detailed last meal list.

    All my possessions for a moment of time. ~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

    “I’ve seen many die. The Christians die differently. What is their secret?” ~ A Chinese Communist Executioner.

    “I shall be with Christ, and that is enough”. – Scientist Michael Faraday [upon being asked: “Have you ever pondered what will be your occupation in the next world?”]

    “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”- Jim Elliot (recorded in daily journal).

    BTW, a better rendering of Christ’s last words would be, “It is accomplished!”

  • sue

    haha marie antoinette was the funniest in my opinion.she sure did pick a weird time to remember her manners!!

  • Christopher

    “It is accomplished”

    Jesus

  • swampsnake

    another one for the redneck part of this list…hey i know what im doing

  • Sensei

    How about, “Hold my beer, I can do this.”

  • Drogo

    My uncle Vito’s last words were, “Gee Mr. Gotti, you sure have put on alot of weight!”

  • Polly Odyssey

    I always imagined myself saying a quote from a song that was deep and heartrending. I think I’d rather say something funny.

  • lightninglcash

    Here’s a question. Who heard number 8? Was somebody falling beside him or something? Seems a little unbelievable to me. Awesome list, though.

  • devilishgrin66

    General Sedgewick’s are my favorite (they couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist..)

    Kennedy’s last words are debated, the last words that they absolutely know he said are “no they can’t” but its said that his last words were “has someone been shot?”

    I also like “I have a terrible headache” – FDR, who died of massive cerebral hemorhaging.

  • Jacob

    “Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.” Ludwig van Beethoven.

  • Tek

    Punjar, I don’t think Kennedy could say anything because his brain was hanging out the back of his head…

  • JLMettille

    Tallulah Bankhead was before her time in so many ways, but in the current climate of celebrities going to rehab every week or so I think her final words have particular pertinence:

    “Codeine…bourbon”

  • Rick

    Rodgers, James W. ( -1960) [American criminal]
    “Why yes, a bullet-proof vest!”
    (Last request before the firing squad.)

    Presley, Elvis (1935-1977)
    “I hope I haven’t bored you.”
    (Conclusion of his last press conference.)

    Take a step forward lads – it’ll be easier that way.
    Robert Erskine Childers, to his firing squad

    Morant, Lt. Henry H. (1864-1902)
    “Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it!”
    (To the firing squad that executed him.)

    Please put out the light.
    Theodore Roosevelt

  • Alan Gregory

    Like many of us reading this, I’d like to think up some really good last words, but I fear that the ones I come up with as death strikes will be unprintable, and curtailed. Perhaps I should concentrate my literary efforts on a headstone inscription, on the lines of Spike Milligan’s “I told them I was ill”.

  • Drogo

    I want my tombstone to read:

    I came,
    I saw,
    I must say it was really disappointing,
    then I left.

  • Drogo: “Vinni, Viddi, more stuff in latin”

  • ericxdraven26

    i always thought the john adams one should be on here

    mine will be something memorable, i can guarantee that

  • Drogo

    A music historian said that Chopin’s last words were, “Play Mozart for me.” and Gustav Mahler’s last word was, “Mozart.”

  • brfsk

    I found it a bit odd when I first heard of Mahler’s last word: “Mozart”. He was so far beyond Mozart that I can’t understand his reverence for the Wolfgang. I try to make sense out of it by telling myself (and others) that his next-to-last word was f**k. No one usually believes me…

    • SEB

      Don't talk about things you don't understand. Mahler is one of the giants in the history of music, but he is no Mozart and he knew that.

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  • Stevey Steve

    “Ooooaghhhhhh!” Lee Harvey Oswald

  • Flingo Stoogy

    “Love one another.”
    -George Harrison to his family.
    “Yeah.”
    -John Lennon. A cop asked him if he knew who he was.
    “Money can’t buy life.”
    -Bob Marley to his son, Ziggy.

  • astraya

    According to some sources “Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est” is reputed to be the Emperor Augustus’ last words.
    Beethoven’s last words weren’t recorded. He is reported to have shaken his fist at the thunderstorm then raging.
    My last words? “Oh, I forgot to tell you …”

  • Guys… someone want to handle this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.

  • MPW

    hopefully those are that assholes last words

  • Spanner in the works

    I would have made sure Sedgewick’s was on here, I love it.

    “Couldn’t hit an elephant at that ra….” Ohhhhh!

    45, Fallenangel,

    Read one like one of yours in a newspaper about 15 years ago.

    A guy was bombing flat-out around our M25 London circular in a big, powerful 4WD. He picked up a call from his girlfriend on his mobile, maybe got a bit too excited, and driving with only one hand, lost it and took off over the verge. They scraped him up later. Last thing his girl heard over the mobile was, “Oh, shit!”

  • thirtytwo

    #6 – True or not, brilliant quote and one I intend to use if necessary!

  • Momopuff

    What about Julius Caesar? “Et tu Brute?” ….or does that not count.

  • Strat

    “Nothing more than a slight change of mind My Dear…”
    President James Madison to his niece after she asked if anything was wrong.He had vowed to hang on to die on the 4th of July,like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson 10 years earlier.
    he died on June 28 1836

  • ALM

    Caesar’s actual last words were not ‘Et tu Brute?’; that’s from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar, and the whole phrase is “Et tu Brute? Then fall, Caesar.”.

    Suetonius says that his last words were in Greek (which was still, at the time, prefered over the common Latin in private conversation by most upper class Romans; proper Latin was for ceremonies and engravings, and common folks spoke a simplistic form of Latin, often heavily localized). Suetonius gives the words as, “Kai su, teknon?”/”You too, my child?” Plutarch says that Caesar said nothing at all.

    Also, Wilde’s last words were not “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”, or any variation thereof. He did say this phrase, though, but it was a few weeks prior to his death. He also said near death, upon ordering a bottle of exceedingly expensive champagne from the same hotel, “I am dying beyond my means.” His actual final words though are unknown, though supposedly it was about his mother and not that witty; more depressing than anything, and less fun to consider as his last words.

    I like, “Take a step forward lads, it’ll be easier that way.” Robert Childers, to the firing squad about to execute him after the end of the Irish Civil War in 1922.

    And, “Let us ease the Roman people of their continual care, who think it long to await the death of an old man.” Hannibal Barca

    Finally, “Tis well. I die hard, but I am not afraid to go.” George Washington (prior to this, he made a demand to ensure he was not buried for two days, to assure he was not buried alive, of which he had a great paranoia)

  • Bruce

    “Hello. We’re looking in … We’re overlooking the Financial Center. Three of us. Two broken windows. Oh God. Oh …” -Kevin Cosgrove.

    Cosgrove’s 911 call on Sept. 11, moments before the south tower collapsed, killing him during the call.

  • Charles

    “Useless, useless.” Those were the last words of John Wilkes Booth.

  • ligeia

    Ah Carl Panzram, one of the most psychotic evil bastards to ever walk the earth. A group of people actually campaigned to have him released from prison, and what did he have to say to that? ‘I wish you all had one neck so that I could put my hands around it’. Twats.

    • Americanized Ninja

      Must have been a fan of Caligula

  • Arnaud

    Napoleon: “My son… head… army”
    Goethe: “More Light !”

    There was this mathematician monk whose name I don’t remember who had been in a coma for several days. One of his assistants came to him and asked: “what is the square of 12 ?”… The monk said “144” and died…

    Marechal Ney (one of Napoleon’s army chiefs), facing a firing squad: “Soldiers ! Aim for the heart !”…

    Danton (french revolutionary) to his executioner: “You will show my head to the people ! It is worth it !”

  • Nukedoom

    George Appel was electrocuted in New York in 1928. His last words? “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel!”

  • A

    Excellent List.

  • Brosiusjb

    “Amen” Pope John Paul II

  • m0nk3yhum0r

    What about Stonewall’s last gasp of breath? “Let us go across the River, and rest under the shade of the trees.”

  • m0nk3yhum0r

    100!!!!!!!

  • Meg

    11 is funny. XD

  • Richard S

    How about – “this is funny”

    Last words of Doc Holliday, as he looked at his feet dangling off the end of the bed. Doc always thought he’d die with his boots on.

  • desed

    @ 70. Jacob:
    I think you are wrong. That quote belongs to Augustus, as astraya already said.

  • RJ Vaughn

    my last words will easily be ‘when u see me next, the love will be the same’ to my wife

  • RJ Vaughn

    or better yet, to the mugger that just stabbed me ‘the combination to my safe is 11 34 56, i dont want my dammed family’s hands on my money’

  • Du

    lulz
    my last words will be somewhere along the lines of, “Long cat is loooooonnnnnnngggggggg

  • mournblade

    From his book, _Final Exits_, Michael Largo quotes W.C. Field’s last words as: “Goddamn everyone in the whole fucking world and everyone in it–but you, Carlotta. Bring me another drink.” (Carlotta was his mistress.)

    My favorite of all time.

  • George

    Emiliano Zapata 1879–1919

    “No me dejen morir así, digan que dije algo”. (“Don’t let me die like this, say I said something”). Presumably his last words.

  • Tsukino Kage

    What about that Roman emperor, Vespasian, about becoming a God? Or Julius Ceasar to Brutus?

  • Andrew

    I quite enjoyed the last words of Voltaire.

  • KimoK

    “I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.”

    – Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., February 11, 1992, executed in Texas

  • David

    Mine will be: “Encore!”

  • Paro

    Here are some good ones I found on http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/dying.html :

    Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
    ~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

    I am dying. I haven’t drunk champagne for a long time.
    ~~ Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, writer, d. July 1, 1904

    No, I shall not give in. I shall go on. I shall work to the end.
    ~~ Edward VII, King of Britain, d. 1910

    All my possessions for a moment of time.
    ~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

    Let’s cool it brothers . . .
    Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
    ~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

    I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
    ~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

  • Lareth

    If in luck, I’ll be able to say this before my terminal breath:

    “Frankly, nothing I would say, would be captivating enough.”

    Until atleast, I find a suitable, and simplified pack of meaningful words.

  • MittenZ

    If you like last words, like I do, you should check out the book Looking for Alasks. It’s an astoundingly good book. full of witty and funny last words.

    • Indigo

      YES YES YES YES YES!!! DFTBA, MittenZ! Assuming you’re a Nerdfighter? Anyway, DFTBA, you are truly made of awesome!

  • John

    Giles Corey refused to give a guilty or innocent during the Salem witch trials, and was pressed under a barn door with boulders until he would give an answer. He last words were “More weight.”
    Also, St. Lawrence was being roasted over a fire on a spit. At one point, he told them to flip him over, he was done on that side. His last words were, “It is cooked enough; you may eat.”

  • giladan

    Dr. McCoy’s last words, “I’m dead Jim.”

  • logcabiny

    The then current commonly accepted meaning of the final words attributed to Jesus are: “Paid in Full”. It was usually written on a bill as having been paid.

    Also, Edgar A. Poe died alone and was found in ragged clothes which he did not own. I don’t know how anyone could know his final words. Or course, we could be using his last known words.

    The redneck says, “Watch ‘his”.

    I would like to say something like, “See you in just a second”.
    If I die in the Everglades I could say, “Egrets, I’ve had a few”. (Seen on a T-shirt)

  • Miss Angela

    “codeine… bourbon…” Tallulah Bankhead lol

  • logcabiny

    Dr. McCoy’s last words, “I’ve studied dead, and I’m dead”.

    Rod Serling, “Would someone adjust the TV antenna. My reception is getting blurry”.

    Mao “Well, I’ve killed everyone else so I guess I’m next”

    Ed Sullivan, “For my next act……”

  • Don V

    When I go:

    “Push the button, Frank…”

  • AAArrrggghh!!!

    My favorite – US President Millard Fillmore – “The nourishment is palatable.”

  • yc

    haha nice list.

    this should be homer simpsons:
    doh!

  • Lyjobu

    I’m pretty sure my last word will be:

    “ooops”

  • Maegan

    Where’s Che Guevara?
    “I know you’ve come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man.”

  • mentat_emre

    Karl Marx’s last words are also great.

    “Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.”

    To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.

  • Jason E.

    Voltaire’s last words where different actually:

    Voltaire died on 30 May 1778. His last words are said to have been, “For God’s sake, let me die in peace.”

  • gabi319

    Cracked also has a funny list of last words …some that re mentioned on the list and in the comments.
    http://www.cracked.com/article_16354_11-most-badass-last-words-ever-uttered.html

  • aaron j

    “it’s stopped.”

    genious. i want to say that upon my death!

  • mrs.fair

    hmmmm.. i wonder if number 12 lived long enough to feel the effects of the LSD?? anyway good list..

  • Legend and Lore

    No matter how I die, my last words will be “OH CRAP!!!!!”

  • Fred88

    A psychotherapist: “This sure was an interesting learning experience.”

    A man: “I told you I was sick!”

    Alexander Graham Bell, to his assistant: “Horace, I’ve got to shit.”

    Bucky O’Neill, ex-sheriff of Yavapai County, AZ, and Captain of one of Teddy Roosevelt’s dismounted cavalry companies during the Spanish American War in Cuba, 1899. He was walking along the trenches talking to his men while the Spanish were firing at all of them. One of his soldiers said, “Cap’n, you better get down! Them bullets is like hornets!” And Bucky replied, “Son, the Spanish mauser bullet hasn’t been moulded that can –” TWOCK! A bullet went through his mouth and out the back of his head and he was dead when he hit the ground. True story.

  • poisonedapple

    number 14?. 14. No, you certainly can’t.

    Said by: John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.

    I am confused by this.

    • jakeryder

      You have every right to be confused since his actual last words were. "My God I'm hit."

  • Lyjobu

    What’s the confusion? Everyone was out on the streets cheering as he drove by…well everyone the President and Governor could see that is.

  • Historyfanatic

    @logcabiny Poe died in a hospital after being found in the streets, so his words certainly could have been recorded.

  • chichi

    “is it the fourth?” said by thomas jefferson on July 4…. did you know that John Adams also died that same day? thats ironic lol

  • Lareth

    I’ve got it, my last words will be:

    “There is no God!!!!!! Or is there..?”

    Hmm… Gotta work on that..

    “Want me to say hi to satan while I’m down there?”

    Guess I’ll stick to improv for the moment.

    “Hold my beer” is Top 1 for me, but also not my original so not gonna happen, cos I’m gonna be extra careful whilst someone is holding my beer.

  • Lareth

    Or hehehe

    “No, that’s not right.. Take 2 everyone!”

  • deviantmiss

    my fave is a serial killer in america called appell`s last words as being led to electric chair “now folks you are going to see a baked appell” or spike milligan was reported to of said “told you i was ill!”

  • jussayin

    I’m sure many a famous last phrase has been “aw shit”

  • hrvojev

    Fun but completely made up.

  • weegadge

    list reminds me of the old joke –

    ‘my grandfather died peacfully in his sleep…

    unlike his screaming passengers’

    :-)

  • Heather

    Haha, I love this site… all of these cracked me up! Here are some I saw on another site that really made me laugh:

    > “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know about this.” ~Thomas J. Grasso, 1995; An actually true remark about his last meal before execution by lethal injection.

    > “I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ***.” ~Johnny Frank Garret, 1992; Lethal Injection.

    > “Don’t worry, the gun’s not loaded… See?” ~Johnny Ace, 1954; Playing with a gun while he was drunk.

    Once again, I love your site and can’t wait until you come out with more! I bookmarked it. :)

  • latfat

    Question-“Any last words”

    Response-“Yes just three”

    -Whitest Kids U’know

  • Eire

    How about “ctrl + alt + delete”?

  • Binkster

    great site

    i think my last words should reflect my life so:
    “sorry I’m late, did i miss something?”

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  • crustythecook

    my all time favorite famous last words from an old MAD magazine article by the same name. “I dunno.., whatever they are, lets pop a few”…,

  • James

    for people who don’t know what irony is…read number 1

  • Matt

    You can’t forget King Louis XV
    Apre moi le deluge

  • Mallamaloo

    Personally, I like Keith Moon’s (The Who) last words:

    “If you don’t like it, you can just fuck off.” (after asking his girlfriend to make him steak and eggs for breakfast)

    No “I love you” or even “please” lol

  • Mike

    Joan Crawford was badass. And lol at Voltair’s last words. I hope I’ll be funny when I go.

  • Marko

    I wish the list was in descending order rather then from the first to the last. It makes it more satisfying to read. Just a note for next time.

  • andrei

    how bout “this is how a real man does it?”

  • Big Noddy

    Richard Feynman, dying from cancer:

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”

  • Corn

    i cant remember who this is but when a man was on his deathbed his wife came in and said “you look better today” which he responded “on the contrary” and died. i feel like it was an author….

  • hObOsRcOoL

    l0l Nero’s last words were so hilarious!! :)

    “Such an artist.. dies in me”

    l0l

  • morgo

    Respawn in 5,4,3,2,1….

  • anaxahra

    “I go to seek a great perhaps” François Rabelais

  • Hdhsdg

    I herd that beethovens last words were “applored my friends the perfomance is over”

  • Daya

    you missed some of the artist’s last words before death

  • Brandon

    The Kennedy one gave me chills.

  • PoorOldEdgarDerby

    There was a good one about Karl Marx, something to the effect of “get outa here, last words are for people who had nothing important to say in life.”

  • JL

    Mary Surrat (19) is actually my great times 5 grandmother.
    She was in on the plot to kill lincoln, but it was not intentional. she simply supplied Booth with the horses to get away.Its kinda sad.

  • Chelsea

    @arnaud: and the real kicker is Danton was quite deformed with a remarkably ugly face!

    Also: I’m pretty sure they found Edgar Allen Poe in a coma from
    which he never awoke.

    Further also: WHICH roman emporor said “I live”?

  • YoungAnabaptistRadical

    Fred88 – is that seriously Bell’s last statement? If so, it is amazing and I don’t believe it can be outdone.

  • TheLoneJager

    I like that “I Live!” one a lot. Seems very poetic for someone to shout that once they’re about to die.

  • longjourneytogo

    I liked this list,
    right now the funniest thing I can think of (my own quote)
    is..
    “I wonder what Chuck Norris would do…”

  • Morgy

    Giles Corey “More weight.” as he was being stoned to death during the Salem Witchcraft Trials

    Julius Caeser “Et tu Brutae” as he was being stabbed to death by his people.

  • Owen

    @164

    Caligula reputedly said Adhuc Vivo! meaning, roughly, I’m still alive! He apparently said this, and other things like it, several times…as his bodyguards stabbed him to death. Talk about not knowing when to shut up.

  • Viking

    You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
    – Obi-Wan Kenobi

  • deathbunny937

    my last words will probably be “honey can i have more popcorn?” i love popcorn especially with vinegar and parmesian cheese!!

  • Christs last words were – “Oh god why have you forsaken me?”
    Einstein spoke his last words to his nurse, unfortunately she didnt speak german, so we will never know what he said.

  • Jebus

    I’d like to say something like “Don’t wake me, I’d like to rest for a while”
    but I will probably say “I guess I shouldn’t have eaten that.” or “Watch this!”

  • Jebus

    “Victory shall be mine” – Stewie Griffin :P

  • Alucard

    "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do"- certain guy while being crucified

    • Vincent

      That was Jesus Christ who said that.

  • David

    What about that guy who told his executioner that he loved him? thats fucking classic

  • Sandra

    # 5. I LIVE, said by the Roman Emperor as he was being murdered by his own soldiers causes me to wonder. Surely when we die we are more alive than ever if we're with our God, Jahovah and the Lord Jesus Christ.
    I would hope my last words would be, " Accept and Live for Jesus and I will see you again"

  • Vincent

    "It is finished" (Seconds before the fire brigade shot him)
    – José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda/Jose P. Rizal (June 19, 1861 – December 30, 1896, Bagumbayan, The Philippines), referring to Christ's last words.

    "Smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu!" (Death to fascism, freedom to the people)
    Stjepan "Stevo" Filipovi? (27 January 1916 – 22 May 1942), seconds before being hung by German Nazis.

  • Vincent

    "I Live!" was a fail because later on he died :p

  • Gloria Snockers

    honorable mention may have gone to Dutch Shultz, though it would have taken up a lot of space. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_Schultz

    I think you mentioned on another list that no one knows what Einstiens last words were because his nurse didn't speak German. A damned shame.

  • Bart

    "I need this parade like I need a damn hole in my head." – John F. Kennedy

  • Zardoz

    Mine?

    “Last words are like regrets…I have none.”

  • Ritu

    Last words of my beloved brother… "God please save me, please. Bye all, goodbye mom".

  • Vlad

    My favourite: "Diles que dije algo" "Tell them I say something" there where the last words of Emiliano Zapata…
    Parece que hasta para decir sus últimas palabras hay gente corrupta.

  • blake

    supposive last words –

    last words are for those who have not said enough – carl marx
    shoot fool, you will only kill a man – che guevara
    you to brutus -ceaser

  • coolman

    Jesus Christ: "always look on the bright side of life….de doo dedo dedo dedo….".

  • coolman

    Steve Irwin: "Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!"

  • Americanized Ninja

    "I'll be in hell before you start breakfast, boys. Let her rip"-Black Jack Ketchum on his way to the gallows.

  • regs

    Johhn wayne gacy

    "kiss my ass"

  • Jay

    I hope my own last words will be, "The secret of happiness is…"

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  • Buddy Rose

    Some interesting last words here. For a very funny video on the biggest collection of last words check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBmjLEq9-1k

    It features John Green, author of Looking for Alaska, but he is talking about someone else's book (massive encyclopedia oflast words).

  • Lawrence

    -"I'm ashamed of you this way! They couldn't hit an elephant in this distance!"

    General John Sedgwick during the battle of Spotsylvania courthouse, commenting on the poor aiming skills of Confederate soldiers, until he was hit by one of their bullets. He died in a coincidental choice of words.

  • Leonardo

    This made me think what my last words should be “I hope I get a good tan in hell”

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  • Jess

    Surprised that no one has mentioned these as their last words;

    “Bring it on!!!”

    That’s what mine will be :D Or, seeing as I believe in reincarnation;

    “My Lady, all I ask is that you bring me back pretty.”

  • Y’all watch this

  • eam2468

    “Fly mig potatisbrännvinet!”

    (“Bring me the potato brandy!”)

    Gustav III king of Sweden 1771-1792

  • steve westcott

    stolen l know but my favourite is,

    history,
    its just one f****** thing after another!

  • Sepa

    That’s weird. I thought Crowley’s last words were “Sometimes I hate myself”…

    Then again, I got that from Wikipedia.

    Still, the “Satan Get Out” line….I don’t think that’s true.

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  • John

    “To the Strongest”- Alexander for Macedon

  • David Hopkins

    Pablo Picasso’s last words were “Drink to Me.” “Drink To Me” is actually a song Paul McCartney sings with Wings, commemorating the painter’s death.

  • Susanna

    It is widely accepted that RFK’s last words were ‘is someone hurt” or “is everyone alright.” Some variation. That kind of sums up what was great about him.

  • Paxhope

    “Does anyone have a toothpick?” Afred Jarry’s last words.

  • Asmarah

    la ilaha ill allah muhammad ur rasool ALLAH….dats de best we can say….

  • ludwick

    “Shoot me in the chest!!” -Mussolini (he opened his shirt and was shot by an italian commie partisan)

    “Kick that dog Stalin out of the party” – Lenin to Kamenev and Bukharin (both killed by Stalin in 1938 purges)

    “Watch the house!!”- Randy Rhoads

  • Becca

    Idiots. JFK said, “That’s obvious,” not “No, you certainly can’t”. You were WAAAAAAAY off. Jeez. >:-(

  • BillDaBurgerEater

    “I beat the banks”

    -Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the US

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  • ash

    I enjoyed all the qoutes,its just painful and funny that non of these guys ever knows what his or her lasts words were… Maybe mine will be: “what’s my last word?

  • c

    wuldnt it be awsome if u say “there is … 1 million dolors in…” then die

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  • Tempest

    Breaker Morant

    Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it

  • solaris station

    The best is Voltaire’s. ha ha.

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  • Missing this:
    What an artist dies with me!
    By Emperor Nero

  • jakes

    u forgot che guevaras words!!!

  • Hadi yassine

    I beat you in the human race!

    -Hadi Yassine

  • afasd

    also, note these:

    “what bus?”

    ~some pedestrians~

    “but chuck, it isn’t my time yet!”

    ~the reaper~

    “thank god i’m picked up by a car in the middle of nowhere!”

    ~some psychopath victim~

  • jitendra

    India RAJESH KHANNA
    “Its time for pack up”

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