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Facts

Top 10 Myths About Ninjas

Having spent time studying ninjutsu (under the Bujinkan dojos), I have long wanted to put a list like this together. Here I look at some of the historic myths and even some of the ridiculous modern myths that have sprung up about this truly fascinating art. Ninjutsu is a serious martial art – it is nothing like the movies portray, though its history does explain partly the reason that so many “mystical” myths have arisen over the years.

10

Ninjas Are Mythical

Picture 2-61

Myth: Real ninjas are a myth

In fact, ninjas and the arts that they learnt date back to over eight hundred years ago. The ninja families developed their skills in order to protect themselves against the likes of Samurai warriors. It is this humble beginning that gives ninjutsu its very unique style: escape if you can, if you can’t, kill. There was nothing unethical to the ninja – he would throw sand in the enemies eyes, stab them when they were down, anything to protect life and limb. Over time the ninjas were used as spies, bodyguards (right up to the last emperor), and assassins for hire.

9

Ninjas And Swords

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoq-FvEsO-k&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: As a matter of course, Ninjas caught swords with their bare hands

This is not entirely true – and the video clip above has a particular moment that illustrates why. At 07:38 Grandmaster Hatsumi (current Bujinkan grandmaster who studied under the last true combat Ninja Toshitsugu Takamatsu who served as the bodyguard to the last Chinese Emperor – see the video clip in item 5) demonstrates how to deal with an incoming sword in the greatest Ninja fashion: “Just get out of the way.” If you watch the whole clip you will see that almost every possible sword attack can be deflected (and turned to your advantage) without needing to go near the weapon. Of course in movies it looks flash to have a ninja catch a sword – but there would be very little need to do so when a Ninja has so many other techniques in his arsenal. Having said that, using claws or other hand weapons, if it were necessary, a Ninja might stop a sword with the weapons he is holding – but not with his bare hands.


8

Ninjas Wore Masks

Ninja.Jpg

Myth: Ninjas wore masks when fighting and black clothes; it is their uniform.

This is entirely false. These days most ninjas who are working as bodyguards would wear a suit or similar modern clothing. So when might a ninja have worn a mask? Maybe eight hundred years ago if they had to hide in the trees – but even then it was not part of a “uniform”. A ninja wearing a mask is no different to a soldier wearing camouflage paint. It depends entirely on the environment and the need for hiding. This, of course, is true also of black clothing.

7

Ninjas Vanished

Hatsumi Soke Smoke.Jpg

Myth: Ninjas were able to vanish

This myth has come about because of the first ninja rule: get away. If a ninja can avoid fighting, he will. In order to achieve this goal, he might need to create a diversion of some kind, such as throwing shuriken, setting off a smoke bomb (as in the image above), or throwing sand in the opponent’s eyes. By the time the opponent recovered from the distraction, the ninja would be gone. There is no magic involved here – just commonsense.

6

Ninjas and Pressure Points

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I4t3iQj_Kk&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: Ninjas can’t kill just by touching

I bet you weren’t expecting that! In fact, there are a series of touches (this word is used lightly as a decent amount of pressure is needed) that can render a person dead. This is quite logical when you consider that a firm enough blow to the temple can kill a person. The deadly methods are normally only taught to the most advanced students who, by that time, would never need to use them. Fundamental pressure point techniques, however, are taught from the very beginning and even the most basic student can take a person to the floor with one finger (pressed firmly in the right part of the throat, or in the eyeballs for example). Pressure points cause a lot of pain when pressed in the right way – they are an indispensable tool for the Ninja. Furthermore, simple tools like squeezing nipples can also render an offender defenseless in seconds. In the clip above you can see Grandmaster Hatsumi squeezing his opponents nipple – the look of pain on the guy’s face says it all. You can see this around the 03:40 mark.

5

Ninjutsu – the name

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ig9zDDY2gE&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: Ninjutsu refers to fighting methods

In fact, it means the art of stealth and perseverance – it is about the strategy and tactics of fighting. The actual moves are from a variety of different martial art disciplines. In the most common and most authentic version of Ninjutsu (Bujinkan Bud? Taijutsu), eighteen disciplines form the main basis of training:

1. Seishin-teki ky?k? (spiritual refinement)
2. Taijutsu (unarmed combat, using one’s body as the only weapon)
3. Kenjutsu (sword fighting)
4. B?jutsu (stick and staff fighting)
5. Shurikenjutsu (throwing shuriken)
6. S?jutsu (spear fighting)
7. Naginatajutsu (naginata fighting)
8. Kusarigamajutsu (kusarigama fighting)
9. Kayakujutsu (pyrotechnics and explosives)
10. Hens?jutsu (disguise and impersonation)
11. Shinobi-iri (stealth and entering methods)
12. Bajutsu (horsemanship)
13. Sui-ren (water training)
14. B?ryaku (tactic)
15. Ch?h? (espionage)
16. Intonjutsu (escaping and concealment)
17. Tenmon (meteorology)
18. Chi-mon (geography)

In the clip above you can see Grandmaster Toshitsugu Takamatsu with a student. This is an important clip as Toshitsugu Takamatsu was the last true combat Ninja and the teacher of the current Bujinkan grandmaster (Masaaki Hatsumi – he is speaking on the clip).


4

Shuriken: killer stars

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5QPaBADzZM&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: Shuriken (throwing stars) are used to kill at a distance

In fact, shuriken are used as a secondary weapons – either to slash or stab. When they are thrown it is normally to cause a distraction as you can see in the video clip above (around 01:08). Shuriken come in two varieties: Hira-shuriken (the famous ninja star) which were originally household items (such as washers and coins that were used to distract and were not usually sharp), and Bo-shuriken which are straight spikes up to 21cm in length. These were also originally household items (as were most Ninja weapons) such as chopsticks or hairpins. Their origins certainly makes it clear that these were not intended as killing weapons.

3

Ninja Weapons

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPQZjjizo6U&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: Ninjas only use ancient Japanese weapons

Yes – they do, but not exclusively. Ninjas are often trained in modern weaponry as well – and many of the so-called “ancient” weapons are not ancient at all – they are modern takes on ancient concepts (such as the shuriken whose origins lie in coins as mentioned above). Also note in the list of disciplines above “Kayakujutsu” – this is the art of gunpowder. Ninjas have long used gunpowder to their advantage – either to create smoke screens, or even bombs. In the video clip above you can see Ninjutsu skills applied to gun disarmament. Notice how each movement is not just to remove the weapon, but to use it against the assailant in often unorthodox ways.


2

Ninja Strength

Hatsumi Masaaki Clip Image001 0002.Jpg

Myth: Ninjas need to be strong and fast

In fact, the whole point of ninjutsu is to use your body effectively – whether you are fat or thin short or tall. You don’t need speed – in fact speed can work against you. What you need is the ability to predict your opponents move and outthink him. By calm and steady movements you gain control of the enemy and ultimately the fight. In all of the video clips here you can see how slowly Soke Hatsumi moves – granted a lot of it is to demonstrate the move, but notice how his less qualified opponents move faster than he does and he ends up taking them down simply by lightly gripping a part of their body and walking. Much of Ninjutsu is about foot movement and natural positioning. It is this which allows the ninja to retain his balance in all manner of unusual situations. In the image above, we see Hatsumi in a very relaxed position within milliseconds of having thrown his opponent (the guy flying over his head).

1

Pirates Versus Ninjas

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-7vT4GSodk&hl=en&fs=1]

Myth: Pirates are better than ninjas

This long-raging Internet debate is just silly – there is no doubt at all that ninjas are far better and pirates just utterly suck in comparison. There has never been a recorded case of a pirate beating a ninja. Pirates have a cutlass and hook hand but little else to fight with – plus lots of lace and fancy clothes; whereas a ninja has a whole slew of weapons and light-weight clothes which give him an advantage before they even begin. Furthermore, if the pirate looks like he might be winning – the ninja can just jump off the ship and run on water to the nearest island.

Bonus

How Good Are You?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-GidagO6C8&hl=en&fs=1]

So – how do you know when you are a good ninja? There is a test used around the 5th Dan level (these levels are not really for anything more than rating how well you are doing – it certainly means nothing in the world world where ability to survive matters most) – this test is called the sakki test. In it, the teacher stands behind the student with a sword (usually made of wood in these tests) above his head. He brings the sword down and (hopefully) the student will “feel” the intention and move out of the way. This can be very embarrassing if you are not read as you end up with a hell of a whack on your head. In the video clip above we see students who are definitely ready for the test. Once you have watched that, check this one out to see some very uncomfortable fails. Ouch.

Bonus 2

Bad Name

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEmRF7ZOqSU&hl=en&fs=1]

Can you tell I love this stuff? This is a video clip from an eighties movie called “Power of Ninjutsu”. I have included it to show you why Ninjas have a bad name and where some of the ridiculous myths have come from. Line of note: “Ninja… I am a ninja too!”

If you have enjoyed the video clips here, I guarantee you will love the huge selection of Ninja DVDs at Budo Videos – seriously, they have thousands.

Listverse Staff

Listverse is a place for explorers. Together we seek out the most fascinating and rare gems of human knowledge. Three or more fact-packed lists daily.

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  • AnonX

    One question: What does ninja do, when the guy with the shotgun finds out it is quite effective from a range longer than 2 feet? Seriously even the French army could beat ninjas.

    • tengu

      stop watching films and see what a ninjas life is about

    • randell1985

      i agree that the ninja were not as good as they claimed to be. but a little lesson for you.
      the average adult male can run 21 feet in 1.5 seconds from a stand still. where in it takes a heavily trained cop 1.5 seconds to just draw there gun. that means as long as a ninja was in a range of 21 feet they could get to anyone wielding a gun and kill them before they drew there gun

      • Presumably in a fight both participants would have drawn weapons already.

  • emc

    Great list!!!

    When would you wear yellow and a big red NINJA headband for camouflage I wonder?

    • duh

      in a BIG yellow and red forest :D

  • copperdragon

    so basically the argument of ninja vs. pirate is…
    how would a ninja avoid a gunshot?

    i know ninjas used gunpowder, but not for firing guns.
    i know ninjas are fast/stealthy, but fast enough to dodge bullets?

    reminds me of the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is faced with a sword-wielding assassin (i know – not a true pirate vs. ninja, but close enough in concept).
    He just pulls his gun and shoots him.

    now, in the case of sword on sword combat, i'm pretty sure a ninja would win

    • Keziah

      This shirt is too girly. Bring back that one with the dog in the car. I like chlilin’ like a villain.

  • stevejeff

    comment cherry broke!!!

  • stevejeff

    p.s. awesome list!

  • cass

    I believe this whole list was a ruse to emphasise the ninja´s superiority over pirates.

  • Eddy

    all hail the ninjas! :D
    man, aren’t they just awesome?

    anyway, nice list, already knew some of these facts, though

  • a fan

    mow a new list about pirates please

  • BA88

    pirates > ninjas … pirates have guns

    • Sam

      Did you read this list?

      • alucard

        yes i believe he did and the fact of the matter is….. pirates have guns

        • Nasa

          And so do Ninja. Check the list. In fact, theoretically, while a pirate would be using a flintlock type firearm, ninjas would be using modern weapons systems. Unless you guys want Somali Pirates versus Ninjas. In which case, the pirates have lost their coolness and are still only evenly armed, if not out armed and out-thought.

  • Matt1

    @ BA88:

    That’s weak shit. Ninjas don’t NEED guns.

  • Travis

    Best list ever!!

    Ninjas and stalking older ladies are my 2 best pass times!!

    Thank you for that! Now, would it be possible to make a list of techniques to stalk women efficiently?

  • Shooter

    Forget about those pansy pirates, what about Vikings.

  • Mihai

    @ Matt1
    no, no, no.
    pirates > ninjas.
    because you can shoot someone from the boat and ninjas can walk on water.

  • Trigun472

    They’d be dead before he got to use is AnonX. That’s the point of the ninja, to sneak up and assassinate, not fight face to face.

    Ninja’s ftw.

    • matthew

      So what you are say is that the ninja is not man enough to fight face to face???

  • Trigun472

    Errr sorry, that’s he would be dead – the guy with the shotgun.

  • PlasmaTwa2

    I liked the list, but the last entry kind of ruined it. Pirates would own.

    • some dude

      nope they’d be too drunk to fight

  • BA88: Ninjas had gunpowder before pirates existed!

    • TheWyrm

      Pirates have been around for more than 2000 years. Get your facts straight before you even think about going up the endless hill of proving ninjas are better than pirates.

  • Travis: that might be overstepping the bounds a little… but I will think about it :)

  • Kashin_Z

    Uh oh this is definatly gonna be another pirates VS ninjas battleground..

  • Travis

    Misconceptions about ninjas:

    If you see a ninja, he is *NOT* a ninja.

    @ jftrater : just an idea… no pressure :)

  • nuriko

    nice one! :D

  • joe mama

    I want to be a ninja…

  • Cool list. I love that show Fight Science where they compared different forms of martial arts and they had that one guy who did Ninjitsu. He was hot.

  • Mihai

    *can’t
    (message #11 lol)

    @jfather: pirates exist before the creation of the world.
    pirates > chuck norris > ninjas

  • Mihai: and there you would be wrong.

  • Great list, Jamie. I was surprised to realize how many of these I already knew to be myths. Love the narrative on #1!

  • MisterSir

    I just don’t know when to leave well enough alone, so I have to say this…

    First, about ninjas in black, didn’t a previous list state that ninjas would wear dark blue, not black, at night to blend in with the night sky?

    Second, I believe I’ve read somewhere before that ninjas became feared by the Japanese emporer, and then banned, centuries ago, and that there haven’t been any true ninjas since that time. I’m pulling this from memory, and can’t cite sources, but I know I’ve read this in different places.

    Now, if point number two is true, then pirates have already beaten ninjas! True ninjas are extinct, and pirates are still going strong (think Somalia). If true ninjas aren’t extinct, then they should be sent into Somolia to end pirates once and for all…

  • Not to take sides… but Pirates rule more ;)

    Interesting list though.
    Good job.

  • eric

    @ 19 emc u would probably find that specific ninja at Mcdonalds

  • callie_

    You’ve been in a mythbusting mood lately, J. Old legends, vikings, ninjas. I like it!

  • msulli222

    Pirates have guns and Johnny Depp. Ninjas… not so much. They lose.

  • oouchan

    This was a great list. However, I think we established that Vikings would win overall. :D

    I watch Naruto with my kid and love the ninja arts. When I was younger I wanted to be Sub-Zero. :)

  • Adam

    @msulli222: Screw Johnny Depp, Ninja’s got Chris Farley and we all know how well he is doi….oh wait

  • Cheeshygirl

    Awesome List! I’m kind of torn in the whole ninja vs. pirate debate. Ninjas are definitely more bad-ass but pirates have the best lines. Arrrhhh Matey. Shiver me timbers. Let’s have a look at that booty. Oh, and who could forget the rum! :D

  • kring_kring

    another myth: ninjas can fly

    • TheWyrm

      And another- Ninjas can walk on water.

  • damien_karras

    The trolls on ListVerse exhibit ninja-like traits: they post, destroy the thread with surgical precision and then disappear into the mist.

  • GTT

    I have never understood this whole pirates vs. ninjas debate. Isnt it obvious to everyone that ninjas would kick pirate ass? On one hand you´ve got a rum-soaked, frilly dressed, peg-legged man and on the other a stealthy SOB who can kill you with his bare hands? Is this even a fair contest?!?

    Jamie: the guy in picture 2 is hilarious… When I first saw the pic, I thought the guy was purposefully flying over his head… And then I read that he had just been thrown by the old man calmy squatting on the floor (it looks like he´s chatting with someone?!)… I would love to learn ninjutsu but I´m such a klutz… :)

  • TEX.

    On this one day of the year, in honor of #1 on the list:

    Ninjas could kick pirates asses any time any place

    (would have posted sooner but it took me about 5 minutes stop laughing)

  • archangel

    What are you doing JFrater!? You have revealed our ninja secrets to the world!

    Bahahahaha! Love the list, ninjas would win, why? Because pirates can’t aim. Full stop. Before a pirate can even aim for a ninja, the ninja would be behind him, ready to do some damage! Actually, this is even before the pirate realises there is a ninja after him.

    So ninjas FTW!

  • travisthechimp

    JFrater: Ninjas could not have existed before pirates. Therefor, they could not have had gunpowder before pirates existed. Sea-faring warriors have been around for as long as there have been sea-faring merchants; long before ninjas.

    Now, not to play down the abilities of the ninja, which is more prevalent today? Pirates.
    Which has existed longer? Pirates.
    Which have more global range and effect? Pirates.
    Which have terrorized colonies and naval powers? Pirates.

  • Travis

    If you have doubts about ninjas, watch:

    American Ninja (1985)

    American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)

    American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)

    American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1990)

    Michael Dudikoff could take them all… he’s like the Rambo of ninjas!!

    • TheWyrm

      You are using fictional action movies as a reference of how ninjas fight. Your side just can't seem to find any real fact, eh?

  • Travis

    Plus… sometimes when you less expect it a ninja will take off the mask and turn out to be a gorgeous looking japanese girl!!
    While pirates are always fat drunks with no teeth!

    • WARBREED

      i agree, who cares if pirates have guns, they're prolly to drunk to aim…

  • archangel

    38. travisthechimp

    Ah but you are mistaken Mr. Travis… it was the Chinese who invented gunpowder, therefore, the Asians (thus the Japanese) had their hands on gunpowder before any such pirates.

    You are correct though that pirates have been around for longer. Regardless, in a mano o mano fight, ninjas would win over pirates… pirates may have dealt more resounding damage to the world, but ninjas are superiour in combat…

    Plus, how do you know how ninjas have affected the world? You simply don’t because ninjas do things in secret. Therefore, you cannot gauge how much more effect pirates have had over ninjas.

    =P… Ninjas win!

    • Warbreed

      Correct, Woku were Japanese pirates from the 13th Century.

  • studizzle

    I don’t know how number 1 is a myth, I’ve never heard it. It sounds silly to me, but good list with some cool vids.

  • tremblingfingers

    Good list Jamie :)
    i was so fascinated by ninjas when i was a kid that i broke my leg jumping off the storage roof trying to act like one!
    I wish LV’d do a list of cats – love cats :)

  • travisthechimp

    archangel: I knew that gunpowder had been used by ninjas before pirates, which is why I phrased what I said in the way I did: they could not have had gunpowder before pirates existed vice before pirates had gunpowder.

    The nature of a ninja is stealth. The nature of a pirate is ransacking and generally running amok. If fighting mano o mano, I would believe that the pirate would have an upper hand in that he would be more battle-hardened from miscellaneous fights ashore and afloat. If the ninja could not use stealth to fight or escape, I really think the pirate would have the upper hand.

    If it can not be proven that a ninja affected the world, then I can only assume that one has not done so. Perhaps it is the clandestine nature of ninjas; but pirates are more effective.

  • Mike_Dude666

    NiNjas FTW Pirates ARE Fucken OVER-RATED

    • The Wyrm

      If pirates are fucken over rated, then what are ninjas? Really really overated.

  • travisthechimp

    Mike_Dude666: After such a compelling argument, I might consider withdrawing my vote for the pirate. No, not really.

  • Travis

    Ninjas are Pirates of their Era!!

  • Arkzist

    everyone with a right mind knows pirates are better then ninjas

    and 41.. archangel

    remember what most people think of ninjas are the Japanese ones and japan was very isolationist and didn’t really start to use gunpowder effectively until after the Europeans came

    and yes the pirate came before ninjas as long as there has has been boat there have been pirates

    plus there is the inverse ninja law

    which states the more ninja the weaker they are thus you just get enough pirates and you can take out the strongest ninja

  • Arkzist

    now remember sword vs sword

    trhe ninja is usually shwon using something along the line of a shorter katana

    while the pirate will us a rapier, sabre or cutlass

    the rapier is longer and the cutlass is much heavier

    folks remember katanas arnt as great as everyone says they are

  • Arkzist

    oh an jfrater what have you done, you know there is going to be a large debate on here

  • Pingback: Coffee Break « The High Definite()

  • Bert

    Just to weigh in on the whole “pirates had cannons and guns” debate – our classic concept of pirates used low-tech, smooth bore, muzzle-loading flintlock/percussion cap/matchlock pistols (which is essentially the same technology as cannons). Due to the lack of rifling and the very SHORT barrel, these weapons were notoriously inaccurate. Couple that with the whole “motion of the ocean” either caused by the rum, the sea, or both, it’s highly unlikely that the shot would even get close to the ninja in the first place. If the gun didn’t misfire, that is (a “flash in the pan”).

    And unless you have two pistols, it’s gonna take you at least 30 seconds to reload that pistol. More than enough time for the ninja.

    Pirate gun fail.

  • GTT

    copperdragon:

    In that scene the sword-wielding assassin stands in front of Indy for God know how long before Indy takes action. In your scenario you are assuming that the pirate already has the gun in his hand and the ninja is standing in front of him. A more likely scenario is that the ninja quickly kicks pirate ass as he´s trying to pull out his gun! :)

  • damien_karras

    Ninjas vs AIG? That would be a serious throwdown…

  • Kreachure

    JFrater is a NINJA?!?!?!?!?!

    He has been deceiving us all along!! In true ninja style, he has used his superior skills of deception and cunning to avoid any suspicion, and now that he’s accomplished his ninja mission (which is a secret), he triumphantly reveals himself to us. Now we know that behind the awesomeness of Listverse was the awesome mind of a ninja all along (which sort of makes sense when you think about it…)

    But now that he’s revealed his true identity, he must eliminate us all. That’s just the way it is for a ninja. In fact, he’s probably behind you right now, ready to finish you off.

    Well played, Frater-san. Well played.

    (Er, very nice list by the way :P )

  • DogBitez

    A ninja would be rendered unconscious the moment he boarded the ship… by the pure stench of the pirates. I guess you could say it’s a pirate’s natural biological weapon — months and months of unwashed bodies, booze-soaked clothes, piss and puke and poop, rotting food, foul-smelling bilge water… ah, to be a pirate!

  • TEX.

    55. Kreachure
    Don’t think it has gone unnoticed that you were the originator of the great Pirates vs. Ninjas debate.

    BRAVO!

  • copperdragon

    Bert and GTT:

    I’m assuming a fight on land, where both would have equal time to ready their weapons.

    If its on a boat, pirates would win because they’re used to being at sea, they have “sea-legs”. ninjas would be unstable. Its the pirates “home-turf”.

    If its a distance battle, pirates would win because they have a more deadly distance weapon. Ninja have shruiken, but jfrater indicated they were more for distraction.

    If its a sword to sword on-land battle, ninjas would win with their superior tactics, speed and balance. The pirates heavier sword would actually be a disadvantage (longer movements, slower time)

  • I should have guessed! Great timing JF – still on the ball I see. Ahh, THIS is the place to end the ninja vs pirate debate, so hopefully the viking list will return to talking about, um, vikings?

    Does anybody remember the classic computer game ‘The Last Ninja’? The sequal (with the genius title ‘The last Ninja 2’ was set in New York, not too dissimilar to that awesome clip in #1.

    QUESTION: I was hoping the list would answer this, but I’m sure I will find an answer. According to myth, the ninja weapons were: the sword, the bamboo pole, the shuriken stars, nunchuku and the smoke bomb. Is this correct and definitive or did they also use paper fans, drug darts, daggers, and bamboo whips. And on a related note, who really did come up with the grappling hook? I assume the phrase ‘sling yer hook’ comes from the navy?

    Finally, as for the Indiana Jones senario: it’s a moot point since the ninja would not face an ‘enemy’ unless they already had the advantage to strike. Otherwise I’m sure they’d run for cover as I would. Those flintlocks were very inaccurate!

  • travisthechimp

    The inaccuracy of pirate firearms is a point of exaggeration. The guns used by the pirates would have been accurate up to and slightly beyond 30 yards. Ninety feet is a long distance for a ship or land fight when your opponent lacks deadly ranged weapons, since the ninja ranged weapons were more for distraction.

    Also, pirates would have been more savage in their attacks which would serve to disrupt the ninja coordination. Since the ninja defense relies heavily on timing and planning, a pirates vicious assault would leave the ninja unready.

  • PT

    If Ninja’s are so good how come we don’t have an International dress up in your PJ’s and prance around like a fairy day? Whereas September 19th is of course International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So clearly Pirates win hands down. As for Vikings they didn’t even have Horns in their helmets (Just read the lists folks) the bunch of big girls blouses

  • tremblingfingers

    jfrater: you dont twitter anymore now do ya :)

  • Rising Falls

    MisterSir, if those people in those tiny boats are “pirates”, then ninjas are still around too. You can’t claim that people who maintain the ancient methods aren’t true ninjas when there are people in tiny boats and rafts out there getting ransom for ships. I believe that isn’t how it originally worked: they used to have their own ships, with cannons, right?

  • msulli222

    Pirates clearly have more power than ninjas. As all us believers of the Pastafarian faith know, pirates are divine beings- divine (note: this only applies to the fun buccaneer kind from the movies, not the crazy terrorist ones of today)! Ninjas cannot say that much for themselves. I mean, pirates single-handedly kept the world from descending into global warming before they began to disappear- is it a coincidence that the earth’s temperatures are rising as the pirate population is decreasing? I think not. Pirates would kick ninja ass with their divine powers given to them by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    Some may claim I am making this up. Not so! I have the Wikipedia entry on the Flying Spaghetti Monster to back me up. As we all know, if it is on Wikipedia, it is absolute and undeniable truth.

  • Wilberforce

    NINJA!

  • marmalamuc

    Pirates have guns. End of that debate.

  • 61: Travis thechump – “The inaccuracy of pirate firearms is a point of exaggeration.”, well… according to true life trials I’ve seen on TV, they were rubbish – and in untrained hands; useless. Using early guns had more to do with the skill of the user to actually load the thing, the quality and dryness of the powder, and the ability to light the fuse (it was a while before they eventually invented an automatic firing mechanism). Then, because these guns didn’t have rifling, the shots would often miss their target. I guess we’ll never know if a lowly brute pirate was trained in firearms, although I guess most had combat training, and probably ALL were trained to operate a ships cannon.

    Still no thoughts on the grappeling hook? If you check wiki it says navy, but if you type it into google it says Ninja!

  • CowzRppl2

    Why would a pirate and a ninja fight in the first place?

  • Tristan Vikranti

    To Marmalamuc, A ninja would never be in sight of the pirate to be shot by his slow, inaccurate flintlock pistol…. She would have taken her blow gun and shot a posion dart whilst he slept or was otherwise unaware of her presence. And I have seen a samurai deflect and cut in half a bullet. Granted it was a samurai but just pointing out that a student of sword play with skill can do amazing things. Google “Modern-day samurai Vs.” and watch the video!!!!!!!!

  • Taranis

    I gave this lista lot of credibility until I read the thing about the pirates. I felt that wasn’t needed and took an informative list in a bad direction. I didn’t bother reading the 2 bonuses.

  • ViewARandomList…

    china’s spacewalk was FAKED!!!

  • Heineken

    first time I hear that there is a dilemma between pirates and ninjas…Maybe 3y old kids playing with TMNTs and pirate figurines have such dilemma? Ninjitsu is respectable martial art. Pirates? Why is the rum gone…

  • The other Darren

    3 ninjas were out fishing on a boat(why?…i dont know)they run out of bait and the first ninja says” ill go get some”..so out he goes, walking across the water, digs up some worms, and returns to the boat…the third ninja couldnt believe it..”we cant walk on water”, he thought…they were fishing for an hour and again ran out of bait…the second ninja gets up and does the same as the first..”unbelieveable” thought the third ninja” he says to the other two next time he’ll go…so they run out of worms and he gets up and step out of the boat, falls into the water and drowns(ninjas cant swin, pirates can…?)…the first ninja says to the second ninja” i guess we should have showed him where the stepping stones were”

  • VPNWZGD!

    My mom was a ninja and my dad was a pirate. Sure they’re divorced now but they get along fine. I don’t understand what people’s problem is. I’m proud of both of my heritages. And I must say when a pirate and a ninja mate what comes out is a Vampirate Ninja Witch Zombie Ghost Demon and nothing is as cool as that.

  • bigski

    Navy SEALS vs Pirates & Ninjas.

    No contest !

  • Shibari Hime

    Wow….. it amazes me how many people are so in love with a stupid Disney movie that they TOTALLY forget that ummm… Ninja were sea folk as well! Umm… duh…. Japan is an ISLAND that made/makes a lot of its lively hood from the sea. Therefore it is not crazy to think that MAYBE, just maybe… NINJAS WERE the original and BEST “pirates”. Pirates were not sea “warriors” they were cast-aways of society, criminals, pushed to sea where they raped and murdered along the way. Pirates were not thought of as decent people or morally “sound” folks. Where as the Ninja were respected as well as honored. Im not saying they were NEVER looked down upon. There were times!!! But seriously… when was the last time pirates were honored or respected for their works (not the DAMN movie! >__

  • Klingon

    Nice list!

  • Shibari Hime: well said! I agree completely.

  • CowzRppl2

    Shibari Hime that sure is some great speculation about history. I’m sure you can verify all of that with great amounts of research and it isn’t just you saying “Japan is an island, ninjas are japanese, therefore Ninja’s are mariners.”
    Your comment on the first pirate is the most uninformed thing I have ever heard. Ninja’s existed around the fourteenth century C.E.. Conversely piracy has been an act committed from around the thirteenth century B.C.E..

    And a comment to all who participate in this debate. How can we compare the act of piracy something committed at all times as an act of desperation or an act of war to a form of martial art?

    But then again this debate could be more accurately put as: Pirates of the Caribbean vs. movie style ninja’s.

  • Courtney

    In regards to number 6, I know that hitting the vagus nerve with enough force can kill. “Vagus” is latin for “wandering”, and the nerve is named so because it extends through a large portion of the body. If there is anyone here who watches Bones on Global(Canada) or Fox(USA), there was a recent episode featuring a person who was killed by a blow to the vagus nerve :)

  • neth

    pirates are smelly and often die of common scurvy.
    so pit a ninja against a sickly pirate and lets see who wins….

  • Jrodickens

    Nice list
    Awsome #1

  • LMXV

    What’s so cool about pirates anyways? Besides their overly dramatic stereotypical fashion sense?

    I guess anyone in the navy would associate themselves to pirates. CIA, spies can look up to the ninjas. And the marines = spartan warriors.

    Personal preference for me is ninja. As I am a quiet person and leaves the party unnoticed.

    • Thewyrm

      Whats so cool about ninjas anyways? Besides their overly falsified prowess at fighting and the lies told in movies.

  • tomatoxide

    ninjas need a lot more to get into the spotlight…look at the somali pirates..just capture a few ships and get into the headlines

  • Shibari Hime

    CowzRppl2
    I said MAYBE just MAYBE…. hmmm not quoting fact there! ^_^
    Also… I hate movie ninja.
    I hate movie pirate.
    I like facts! ^_^
    I think it’s funny you failed to see that I was in all aspects on your side. The side that it’s stupid that all this crap started after a bunch of teeny boppers and sex-starved nerds (nothing against them I was one once and it’s not fun… just saying sometimes you should put the comic down and get laid! >__

  • Shibari Hime

    Hit the button early! SORRY ALL!!!!

    CowzRppl2
    I said MAYBE just MAYBE…. hmmm not quoting fact there! ^_^
    Also… I hate movie ninja.
    I hate movie pirate.
    I like facts! ^_^
    I think it’s funny you failed to see that I was in all aspects on your side. The side that it’s stupid that all this crap started after a bunch of teeny boppers and sex-starved nerds (nothing against them I was one once and it’s not fun… just saying sometimes you should put the comic down and get laid! )started going to watch P.O.T.C.
    Just like now vampires are glittery (twilight), there is a school for witches and wizards (Harry Potter), Spartans are leather loin cup wearers and ((my own personal fan girl bitch)) Gambit wasn’t introduced until the Wolverine movie!
    I’m fed up with everyone arguing the pirate-ninja thing. Where were you poser fans pre-1988??????
    Exactly!
    Shibari Hime out

  • johno

    pirates rule as cartman knows best http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/157602/detail/

  • tom

    i really like this list! man i wanna be a ninja!

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  • deano147

    BA88 didnt you see how ninjas deal with guns you fool

    LONG LIVE NINJAS

  • Polly Odyssey

    About the Ninja V. Pirate debate-I personally believe that the Ninja Pirate Viking Cavemen Space Cowboys with Laser Beams utterly pwn both groups.

  • illegal_immigrant

    Hahahahaha, oh, holy hell. When I saw the debate about Vikings Vs Pirates Vs Ninjas, I knew what was coming next. And, I dare to predict, there will be something about pirates in the near future.
    Anyways, I liked this list a lot. Good job.

  • JK the Fifth

    Great list ! NO 1 made me lol. :D

    PS : Squeezing nipples ! really !? Well, that’s against the ethics of war. But still, Ninjas are awesome !

  • Looser

    ok look i dont care who you are but if anyone has a gun (pirate) than they can kill anyone with a sword. sorry but pirates shoot ninjas ninjas drop dead. fairly simple.

  • pirates blow hard

    I’ve read every single comment on this list, and unless i’m missing something, alot of the pirate fanboys seem to think untrained drunkards who enjoy the occasional “raping and pillaging” for shnits ‘n’ giggles can fare quite well against warriors who train their whole lives in a deadly form of martial arts.

    GUNS? REALLY? Ninjas train to adapt to new combat situations, applying every ounce of cunning to outsmart an armed opponent, not allowing them to even fire a single shot.

    I guess what I’m really trying to say is….

    Pirates. Blow. HARD.

  • evilk8

    awesome list jamie!
    I remember your cool ninja moves. ;)
    Pirates suck ass big time.

  • robneiderman

    About the ninja vs. pirates debate, I think they should join forces! They’d be unstoppable!
    Also, pirates actually predate ninjas, but they didn’t have their high tech guns and hook hands and stuff.
    Furthermore, to answer the question about the bonus picture: A ninja would wear a crazy costume with “ninja” on his forehead as camouflage so that people would think he WASN’T a ninja, right?

  • gatineau

    Wow JFrater, you’ve obviously been watching that new show Deadliest Warrior on Spike TV because a few of the past lists are following the show. First it was vikings and now ninjas. Either way, great show and awesome list.

  • Devi

    In my social circle Jedi > Ninja > Pirate.

    You cannot proclaim yourself a Jedi. Someone else has to do that unsolicited. I, however, am a proud ninja.

    My SO considers himself a pirate and considers pirates vastly superior to ninjas because, well, “Pirates get the wenches!”

    Only if your ninja girlfriend lets you, dear. And she’s watching. Stealthily. :)

    One of my favourite lists so far!

  • Sensei had but two words for his comment on this list.

    “Dead on.”

  • Ignatz Horowitz

    To put the Pirate v. Ninja argument to rest for all eternity…

    Ninja: invisible flying Bruce Lee-superpowers
    Pirate: gay Johnny Depp Sparrow in dreadlocks in a silky-boy blouse blouse

  • oouchan

    101. Ignatz Horowitz: to capitalize on what you wrote…

    To put the Pirate v. Ninja argument to rest for all eternity…

    Ninja: invisible flying Bruce Lee-superpowers
    Pirate: gay Johnny Depp Sparrow in dreadlocks in a silky-boy blouse blouse
    Viking: All powerful Norse God Odin with double edge battle axe

    Vikings win!

  • schnell

    SunnySlope vikings kickass

  • richard

    It’s about time for kung-fu.

  • The Only Sane One

    Pirates vs. Ninjas: Pirates rule.

    Look at lifestyle: Pirates roamed the seas, doing what they wanted, taking what they wanted, and getting lots of booty! And they were very effective warriors against their opposition.

    So were Ninjas, but they lived a life of training and discipline. Which would you rather be?

    Pirates baby!

  • DiscHuker

    regarding #6: i have to admit, when i think about ninjas i think about tittie twisters in gatlinburg, tennessee.

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  • PUGGET

    we all know that a pirate would completely and uttery DESTROY a ninja in anny circumstances.. in fact, pirates are that insanely awsome, it is a fact that 1 pirate would take on many billions of ninjas.

  • PUGGET

    In a one on one situation the ninja would strike from behind and be like, STAB STAB STAB in da pirates liver, but then realizes that after years of “rum” the pirate no longer need this liver, and then be like BAm with his hook and pull out the ninjaz intestines. the ninja then realise that they are not in the rite place and drops to the floor.
    it is simple, PIRATES OWN

  • TEX.

    One day grace period expired.

    What comes out of a ninja’s ass – RICE RICE RICE!!!

  • ibummedpikachu

    heres some myths about ninjas
    jesus himself was a ninja, and a very crap one at that.
    ninjas favirote meal is bran flakes with a nice firm grapefruit and a cup of warm milk.
    ninjas use fat pigeons as their preffered mode of transport.
    they use samurai swords to give themselves anal pleasure.
    i licked a ninja once, it tasted of grandmas bra

  • travisthechimp

    68: Lifeschool: I don’t see why you found it necessary to attack my screen name. That’s about the time I stopped reading.

  • In terms of fighting skill, ninja’s would rule pirates. But that doesn’t make them better than pirates.

    Pirates have wenches, they drink rum, they plunder booty, they take what they want, they take no **** from anyone, and they have creative ways of executing rivals.

    Honestly, I consider ninjas to be cheaters. Smoke bombs and destractions? Running away and only fighting if they can’t run? Cowardice. Ninjas aren’t even worth fighting to a pirate.

  • Leatherface

    Wow almost everyone on the comment list needs a little history lesson before posting. The list wasn’t bad but I think it could’ve been a whole lot better.

  • Legend and Lore

    It was myths like these that made me not like ninjas, especially when used in video games and movies, and crappy movies made from video games (Mortal Kombat)

  • Mabel

    This is awesome. I want to become a ninja.

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  • Republicans R’ Hypocrites

    i just used the information i acquired here to subdue my housekeeper. i pinched her nipples and then when she swung her broom at me i calmly disarmed her, put her on the ground and placed my knee on the back of her skull. thanks.

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  • Captain Dunn, The Sage Lion

    Excellent article save one point–Pirates vs. Ninjas. I have it all laid out as to why you are incorrect. I will let your mistake slide as you are such a fan. sigh. When will you all learn. Read up–http://sagelion.typepad.com/the_adventures_of_the_sag/2009/02/ninjas-v-piratesno-contest.html

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  • gabi319

    Jfrater Item #1 – “there is no doubt at all that ninjas are far better and pirates just utterly suck in comparison.”

    Jfrater, just so you know…that statement makes me want to have your babies. I like how while the rest of us bickered back and forth about which was better, you were busy in the background COMPILING A WHOLE LIST on why ninjas are superior.

    To the rest of you: Where the [fill in with favorite word] were you when I was the lone ninja defender against a slew of pirate lubbers on the ultimate rivalries list?!

  • oouchan

    118. gabi319: Sorry…I was defending the pirates. :D

  • gabi319

    119. oouchan – “I was defending the pirates”

    well then, oouchan… your babies I will not have even if science made it medically possible. ;-)

    Lactose intolerance is currently on my mind right now… incidentally, there are cases of lactose intolerant women who are able to eat dairy products during gestation. If you don’t believe in ninja superiority, you could’ve at least pretended to for the sake of my love of ice cream, haha.

  • sskatebass

    NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS ALL THE WAY NIJAS ARE WAY BETTER THAN PIRATEs ITS OBVIOUS AND IF U CANT SEE ThAT UR STUPId

    • FaerchFan

      You’re stupid. Who the hell judges people based off their opinions?! Get a life.

  • philippine_thrust

    What the hell! You can see that ninjas are better than pirates! It’s not like that.

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  • NinjaSucks

    number 10: “escape if you can, if you can’t, kill.”

    dude what kind of lame warrior escapes from a fight?
    Pirates are ALWAYS looking for fights.

  • Pirates win.

    Have you ever seen a ninja with wenches?

    I thought not.

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  • auradis

    Grandmaster Hatsumi is the bomb! And it’s strange seeing white people all dressed in ninja garb, but the ones in these videos clearly know what they’re doing. That sakki test looks pretty impressive.

  • thomas

    pirates could kill ninjas deadlist warrior showed a spartan beating a ninja a pirate beating a knight and a knight could beat a spartan so a pirate could destroy a ninja

    • randellearl1985

      a knight could not kill a spartan. the spartan military is single handedly one of the deadliest forces to ever walk the earth. the spartan phalanx was a virtually unbeatible defense.
      and p.s deadliest warrior is a stupid show

  • ninja

    talking real and not funny ninjas could kill a thousands of pirates by just leaving a bomb in their ship and this is the true “ninjutsu”.a ninja doesnt have to take the sword out and call for a fight.a real ninja chooses to do with the least notority. even not attending the scene !!!!

  • ninja

    killing with a touch you say is the “death toch” and it is thought to the most prominant students even after 15th dan.in that touch the killer controls his/her breathing and takes the needed energy from air and where he/she is standing

  • VI6SIX

    Lame, there were ninja pirates. In fact the most successful pirate in the pirate list was an asian woman. Oh and I’d would much prefer to be a ninja pirate than a poofy english or french one. I mean look how they dressed. And don’t get me started on the cabin boys. The only thing better then ninjas and pirates is ninja-pirates Muwaa ha hahaha. All your base are belong to mine!
    Vikings were pirates too, but they were mean and didn’t dress like a bunch of transvestites.
    Oh and FYI ‘Stealth’ is only one of the many different ‘jitsus’, which is even funnier because a few of them are noted in detail on this very list. *irony*

  • dancar

    pirates hava hook-hand and an eyepatch. ninjas have a throwing star and both hands. i guess the pirate could use a cannon, but to fire a cannon he needs- a hand to hold the match, and one to hold a matchbox. if the ninja comes to fight melee, he knows exactly where the pirate is. pirate- no depth perception. ninja rushed pirate, pirate slashes wildly at air, ninja dodges and kills pirate. pirates are much MUCH cooels then ninjas, but ninjas are much more effective

  • GiantFlyingRobo

    In a battle of common sense, a pirate would win against a ninja. But it would be close. Heck, a ninja would win 40% of the time. To make thing organized, here's a pros and cons list.

    Pirate:

    Pros=Ruthlessness, willing to play dirty, fashion sense(whether it be fancy pants frilly shirts or casual shirt andpants), guns, intimadtion, w/o code of honor, sheer population, smell(if it doesn't get ye when he was livin', his corpse's smell will kill ya!), and slang

    Cons=Smell(I know it's also a pro, but they reek!), ugliness, prone to diseases(like scurvy), and being completely drunk more than 3 3/4 of the time.

    Ninja:

    Pros=Weapon arsenal, stealth, funny-ness, millions of tricks up their sleeves, some special bond with animals(maybe? Anyone get where that's from?), and extensive martial arts training.

    Cons=Too nice, shurikens are pointless, not battle hardened(it might have killed trillions of people, but it's not ready for a full-scaled battle), overated(yea, Bill. Ninjas can't really karate chop trees in half. Sorry.), cool nickname-less, and not enough of 'em.

    IMO, pirates are dirty for ninjas. When ninjas take down samurais, samurais kill themselves. If a ninja takes down a pirate, the ninja while leaning over a pirate would think, "Ya gonna commit suicide yet? I gotta assassinate other people now! Get on with it! Am I gonna have to do this myself!?" This gives the pirate time to kick the ninja in the groin, and pick up his cutlass(not heavy, O.K. y'all? It's a pretty lightweight sword.) and cut the guy's head off. Also, pirate guns are accurate enough hit someone from 20 feet away. If I didn't listen to reason though, ninjas would beat pirates hands down.

    • randellearl1985

      a pirate would never defeat a ninja. ninja were former samurai the samurai were the most skilled swordsman and warriors in the history of man. and the ninja and samurai were just as ruthless as a pirate

  • GiantFlyingRobo

    EDIT: I mean pirates are TOO dirty for ninjas. Not what you think… whatever you’re thinking. IDK what it is.

  • Claire

    deadliest warrior on Bravo recently showed that it was a close call between a pirate and a ninja, but in the end the pirate would ultimately win due to fire power.

  • kai ka

    ninjas blow lol

  • Romeo

    Just a few questions.
    If you had a sword and stars and all sort of coins, would you attack someone who has a gun?
    Now turn that question around, if you had a gun would you attack someone with a sword?
    The navy is having a hell right now fighting Somalian pirates. They are a real issue. Ninja’s run away from fights while pirates are always looking for fights to get into.

  • BlahBlah

    People brainwashed by hollywood movies. I lulz at these guys buying into the masterful ninja junk. Pirates have far better firepower, enough to take on navies, which I’m sure ninjas could never do.
    Pirates would win easily. It wouldn’t even be a fair fight.

  • Ninjaboy100

    Um not to make you guys feel bad or anything but sadly a ninja could not kill a pirate ok. hate to break it to you but even a ninja could not stop a bullet. they could not walk on water and as much as i love the ninja you all are over-exaggerating the true ability of the ninja. they would have no idea how to react to a man with a blunder blust so in conclusion ninjas are awesome and skilled but even a pirate could still kill a ninja

  • Ninjaboy100

    But if you want a real fight then samurai vs pirate. the weapons:yumi(bow)vs the shotgun, katana vs cutlass, kanabo vs grenado, naginata vs boarding axe,yari(spear) vs flintlock pistol. i would say Samurai will win

  • Primary Ninja

    Ninjas have been around since the beginning of creation… I think
    Shruinken!
    _/\_

    \/

  • ErictheTolle

    People miss the point of Pirates vs. Ninjas: the whole question isn’t really one of combat prowess, but of coolness and fun. And there the pirates have it all over the ninjas. Compare:

    Ninja: “My life is not my own. I must complete all assignments I am ordered to do even if it means my death. So I will grimly complete this job and then die, because that is what I’ve been told to do, and I will never have sex because I haven’t been ordered to do that.”

    Pirate: “I’M ONNA BOAT! I’M ONNA MOTHER*Bleep*N’ BOAT!”

    So while the ninja is spending six years at the Meiji equivalent of working at Wallmart waiting for that chance to kill the target, the pirate is out on his boat enjoying his bling, and singing, and whoring, and drinking and stuff. The choice is simple: Wallmart or bling, and the pirate gets the good stuff.

    • FaerchFan

      lol for pirate you missed “i like rum :)” lol im a pirate fan myself but your comment cracked me up :)

  • Sheense

    I agree with pirates blow hard.

    Though I really think that both are really overated and mostly stereo-typed by movies, books, and other such media.

    But if I where to choose, I’d choose Ninja, a “Pirate’s life” simply isn’t the life for me.

  • Ninjaboy100

    Ninjas do what they are ordered because they have a sense of respect. Plus they are being paid to do it erich! so don’t be a dumb ass and realize that pirates always get there asses kicked. Ninjas never lose!

  • Chase

    this is the best list ever!!! im stidying ninjutsu any one know any good books to help?

  • Fenriz218

    Pal of mine just wanted to try out the Sakki test after watching the video – five tries, each a fail.

    What are we supposed to do now? Call 911? Nah …

  • ForgottenPatirot

    meehhhhh, I was expecting something better. It was alright, Ninjas are good, but the ninjas can’t hill with one hit thing, isn’t really a “myth”. Anyone can kill anyone in one hit.

  • Matthew

    I’d rather party with a pirate, but I’d rather FIGHT with a ninja by my side!

  • jessica

    ninja is the plural form of ninja. so this risk is wrong

  • mordechaimordechai

    Ericthe Tolle @140 TOTALLY GOT THE CORE OF THE QUARRELL!

    Now that’s talkin’ straight!

  • yoshi

    ninjas just rock, and yall forgot about wall running…

  • I know this is an old list, but I just have to comment here. Several years ago, my friends and I were playing a game of Dungeons & Dragons set in an oriental milieu. My wife (who was then my girlfriend) was playing a ninja character.

    Now, the funny bit here is that she is Issei (a person born in Japan who subsequently immigrated to another country). She is Japanese by birth, but has been raised in the United States since she was 3 months old. She does not speak Japanese and knows next-to-nothing of her heritage (her adoptive father was American, and her adoptive mother was Japanese, but wanted her to grow up as an American).

    So basically, her knowledge of ninja was limited to myth and legend, and what she has seen in the movies. The one thing that we impressed upon her was that she was supposed to keep her true identity as a ninja secret from others. She was posing as a wandering bushi.

    The funny part was that whenever the group got into a battle, the character would disappear behind the nearest tree/bush/building or what-have-you and re-emerge in his black ninja suit. When the danger was past, the ninja would take his leave without a word, and the bushi would again come wandering up, asking what he had missed.

    It was hilarious; like watching a bad Japanese version of Superman, but it did stretch the realms of disbelief quite a bit.

  • babur

    I like ninja

  • A.J.

    Cowboys could kick both their asses! Ninjas like to hide in trees? Cowboys can detect predators (with natural camouflage) a mile off and have the accuracy to take it's head off with a single shot! Pirate firearms are wildly inaccurate and let's face it… in the middle of the North American continent they're a bit out of their element! Sorry JFrater but your bias toward ninjas aside, they're pretty much like the apache braves (but without superior long range weapons) and look at what cowboys did to THEM!!!

  • I just wanted you to know that the ad above this list is of a pirate game called Seafight. OH THE IRONY

  • Julian

    dude pirates don't suck… watch deadliest warrior pirates and knights

  • History buff

    What purpose is all this ninja vs. pirate stuff? They were two totally different practices. Pirates usually didn't kill "willy nilly". The purpose was to use deception in order to loot other ships. They knew that they could ransom any hostages and went after mostly unarmed or lightly armed merchant vessels. and if they couldn't ransom a hostage, you would be drafted by force into the ranks. It was not in their best interest to kill everyone on board. Ninjas on the other hand used a verity of skills for survival in feudal Japan and in those times there was no such thing as a "ninja". It is a 19th century concept. Often the "ninja" were samurai in covert operations.

  • choptop

    #7- Vanishing
    They also used "Black Eggs." They would empty an egg, fill it with crushed glass and paint it black. They would throw these in people's eyes and either attack or run.

    Annnnd #1- Pirates v. Ninjas
    Pirates had guns.

  • fad

    Wow, I’ve come to expect inaccuracy in these list but this one takes the cake!

    Did you research anything before you wrote this?

  • jjj

    Just try one of those shotgun stealing moves on Bruce Campbell. Then you'll see how a ninja can lose a fight.

  • qwerty

    I've read somewhere that the navy are trained with ninjutsu too so… navy > pirates and navy trained with ninjutsu = ninja wins!

  • Mrenglish

    Is this list a joke?

  • dark ninja

    how many ninja clan are left over in this generation?

  • Becca

    In the 80s even the ninjas had shoulder pads. Ninjas and the 80s FTW!!!!!!

  • Danny

    I love no.1 “the ninja can just jump off the ship and run on water to the nearest island.” Of course, adding to bad name – movies like Kung Pow. Which I will not admit to watching. :x

  • Blah

    Pirates are better than ninjas, so you can suck it.

  • FaerchFan

    lmao my friend and i always have a pirates vs ninjas battle. we’re getting tattoos that say “pirate vs ninjas” after graduation.

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  • Outsiders are more obsessed with ninjas than we are ourselves haha.

  • sniper

    Its been done. The ninja vs pirate and the pirate won three fourth of the time because they had guns. Watch deadliest warrior and besides its just common sense that pirates are better than ninjas the average pirate didn’t have a hook I don’t even know where u got that and they had about 3 pistols on them plus a blunderbuss…essentially a shotgun. If u seriously think that the cowardly ninja are better ur an idiot.

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  • Marek Trochan

    ninjagoogle.com provides new faster search experience on the Web! free games, news, ads, music email, chat. . .

  • Pirates are better than Ninjas…………………..

  • digdug

    ok, so you are telling me that naruto is a complete fake???

  • pirateninja

    Wow, really? Ninjas and pirates didn’t fight eachother! I doubt they cared whether the person they fought was a pirate or a ninja! If you notice, that in order to stay a pirate for long, you have to be good at what you do. So if a good pirate and a good ninja fought, the outcome could be anything! It all depends on the skill of the individual! A cutlass and a hook hand? Do you know ANYTHING about pirates!? You may have studied your ninjas, but you have a lot to learn about pirates and the way things work there. This is coming from a pirateninja.

  • I have a roommate who is a ninja; this helps me understand her so much better now. Thanks! I hope she doesn’t kill me with a Shuriken while I’m brushing my teeth tonight….

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  • asdf

    But pirates have guns… more than 1 gun at a time…. and grenades….. and a cutlass….. and they fuck shit up

  • kagerai

    `Ninja(s) are a lot more better than pirates.becuz

    without weapons, pirates are USELESS against ninjas.
    even if they have hand on hand combat, they are slow against ninja.
    even if they have weapons, ninjas are faster and FYI- Ninjas can dodge/block bulletssss. u might want to google that.

    well there is one thing I can only say…
    “Pirates will never wake up when the ninja arrives.”
    `Ninjas are everywhere.

  • YoHoHoHo

    Hello, regarding pirates vs ninjas, i believe this argument stems from the two most popular manga (japanese comic book) in the world which are One Piece and Naruto. Fans of these two mangas always argue which is the better one, and as a fan of both, I can tell that One Piece(story about pirates) is better than Naruto(story about ninjas). :)

  • Grekox

    Thanks I’m making a manga and this helped a bit

  • randellearl1985

    this artical is complete drival fist off all. there is no historically documented system of martial arts called ninjitsu before the 20th century. ninjitsu is a modern invention. this is a fact. the ninja were former soldiers,samurai, etc who had no master(ronin). they dedicated there life to spying and assassination. they knew martial arts because they were former soldiers and samurai. the techniques they knew were the same techniques every other samurai knew. they couldnt walk on water they couldnt disapear into thin air etc. they were simply military spys

  • aleony

    people people. a SINGLE ninja would beat a SINGLE pirate. a ninja would just hide and be pateint till he saw the chance. now if a SINGLE ninja fights MULTIPLE pirates the results can vary if the priates are close enough to see and not too close to ibg killed by the ninja. the fact is the ninja>pirates in all terms. ninja have better gear with a weapon for every job while a pirate goes into battle with the most basic items. now if apirate and a ninja fought face to face. and the piratr ahd a gun and the ninja didnt/ that could go either way. considering that pirates have 2 pistols 1 to mostly to hur tthe enemy and the other to kill. now both of these are single shot bullets. u shoot it and then there is nothing else left. now considering these old weapons have bad aim and a high chance to fail it isnt too hard to dodge one at a consider able range. so thus ninja’s are better than pirates.

  • an

    1) pirates have terrible terrible morality because disease runs rampant, and many of the men simple doesn’t even want to be there (a lot of “pirates” on board were kidnapped or had no where else to go). They’re not trained men, just men that can brawl. Ninjas on the other hand are often just villagers and militias in a home turf, fighting for a cause. A lot of them still have training in combat (hence the ninjutsu style martial art).
    2) get your facts straight, gun power was invented by china, which already spread to Japan during the 13th century, around the same time as the Silk Road trade, and even then, guns were not yet invented.
    3) Guns back then were also terrible. They’re impossible to aim and often misfire or don’t fire at all. Pirates gun were worse because they’re often cheap guns, and worn out by the sea. Ninjas also used gun, but less common than pirates.
    4) The argument that pirates are better because they still survive is completely and ridiculously irrelevant. This isn’t because who’s “better,” but more due to the events and time and place. Saying modern pirates still exist in Somalia, but not ninja is just as ridiculous because this whole article depicts modern ninja. You also don’t see much of the same piracy as back then.
    5) It all depends on the environment. I doubt ninja would ever attack a pirate ship out at sea (why would ninjas even be out there in the first place?). And pirates aren’t the crazy bunch depicted in movies either. They would just land in a port at Japan and trade things (which they did). Ninjas wouldn’t bother them if pirates just walked around because ninjas were a more political force.
    However, if it was a land battle over a long period of time, ninjas would definitely win with their guerrilla style tactic (which are known to be effective against groups with strong fire power- see Vietnam and middleeast war).
    on the other hand, if it was a sea battle, or a short all out battle, pirate would win with sheer force.

  • randell1985

    the Bujinkan claims are all false the ninja did not have a system of martial arts unique to them. most ninja were former samurai and as such new the same things of the samurai. they didnt assassinate people as much as simply spying on people. most of the time they were in normal cloths of that ara often looking like teachers musicians and actors. they couldnt do any spectacular feats such as walking on water running up trees. to simply put it they were intelligence officers of that ara nothing more

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  • eoin

    Ninjas rock.

  • Rachel

    Where can i learn such skills? OMG SO intresting

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